never say never

1111

2010-04-01T02:00:00.000+03:00

so I've reached the 1111 mark at SA with 96 SDs who have contacted me and 33 who have favor listed me....and this is exactly where i will finish my journey as a sugar baby...my search has longed proximately 6 months and well I've experienced some really great dates and trips(to Bali and Oslo), have received some really great gifts(iphone and money) as well as have had some big disappointments and bad luck but at the end of the day I've decided that I'm just not suited for this....I want to learn/explore/achieve everything in life with my own work/skills/money etc....

I recently decided that although I will continue my studies at the university(now only as a part time student), I will also start to work...I want to work as a flight attendant...it's something I've always wanted to do but, just because of everybody else who told be that it's not a proper job with no career options etc, I never allowed myself to really seriously consider it...but now I've had enough of it...enough of living my life as everybody expects me to...it's my life and I'll decided what to do with it....and I want to work as a flight attendant...I have an interview with this big EU airline soon and I hope everything goes well and my dream will finally come true...wish me luck :))

Ofcourse when I think about all those things which i could get and experience much more easily by finding myself an SD, I get a little melancholic....but nevertheless it's just not the right thing for me..it didn't really work for me...I am thankful to those SBs who helped me to get around all of this at the beginning and I really love our sugar community which has grown quite fast especially recently...I hope you all will succeed and fulfill your wishes, dreams and goals...I wish all the best to you girls and I just want to say that all of you are really sweet and honest despite what the outside world thinks of this kind of things...I am glad I could be a part of it at least for a while....

xo
Chelsea aka Cute rebel

update*

2010-03-11T00:14:00.000+02:00

well i haven't updated in quite a while....so here it is....couple weeks ago i was nearing the deadline for the payment of the second half of my tuition fee...frankly i didn't have that kind of money so i asked my Australian SD/boyfriend for a financial aid and guess what he answered...i don't feel comfortable plainly sending you money....i read that message when i had just come home after a party and i was so furious that i mainly wrote him to go to hell (well i was quite drunk and that's why maybe a little too rude) but still...i don't need no ime wasters....

as for McSteamy....he has returned to his ex wife...just great...so i was so pissed of that for a few weeks i thought that that is it...i am done with the sugar thing....buut fortunately i didn't delete my profiles on the sd sites...afterwards i calmed down and decided that i won't allow some problems get me down from the track...i know that i will find my perfect SD....

as for right now...well i have a few potentials but i really don't wanna jinx it so for now i am not writing about them...(yeah, i've become a little superstitious lol)

hope everyone's doing better than me...i am trying to catch up with the other blogs which i am following so have lots of reading ahead...so anyway bye for ;)

xo
cute rebel

my vacation in Bali......

2010-02-02T07:43:00.002+02:00

first of all i think i should tell more about my australian guy....so i met him on SA during the winter holidays which is why i never posted about him(i didn't post at all at that time)....he is 54, owns his own private clinic...once in a while he does operations but mainly now he just enjoys life...he is a passionate surfer and tennis player which is why he is in a really good shape...he has a fun personality but, as i learned during our holidays together, he can be very demanding, picky and high maintenance...which is ok with me...he can afford to be...

anyway now about the trip itself...the flight was terribly looooooong......including transfer time, 23 hours....so when i arrived at the airport of Bali, my feet were swollen twice as big, my hair was messy and my make up....well there was none lol....thank god his plain landed one hour later so i had time to freshen up...anyways since the moment i met him and all the time through our holidays in Bali i felt so comfortable with him...i mean there was no awkwardness or anything like that for that matter...we were staying at the Grand Hyatt hotel of Bali, a ocean view room and a special club wing of the hotel for the most special hotel's guests lol...
for me it was unreal...to be treated like a movie star all the time, everybody from the staff trying to read and fulfill any of my wishes....going to the finest restaurants and ordering the best dishes without looking at prices and just everything together mmmmmm....most of the days we spent by just relaxing at the beach or hotel's pool and then later go out to a restaurant....although we did have one tourist like day which he organized for me to see the island in all it's beauty and then there was the SPA day(loved it) and not the mention the surfing day where he hired a surf instructor to teach me surf....aaand i actually did learn it, of course i am not a professional but i can stand up and ride a wave straight forward....one day when he went surfing he gave me his credit card and told me to go and shop a little so that i won't be bored while he's away...and hoooow did i shop....mmm....there was this place near our hotel called Bali Collections where were all the brand shops...mmm....i felt like in sugar heaven but it was my first time so i didn't buy that much....just the perfume of Gucci "envy me", a dress and jeans from D&G and finally a white gold watch(apart from bags, watches are my weaknesses)

we never spoke of anything related to SA and arrangements etc...it was just like a couple on their honeymoon vacation lol (he joked about that once)....so that's what concerns me a little....is he my SD? i can't answer that question because i am not sure if he sees it like that...i think he might be into getting a real girlfriend rather than a SB...well i can give him the GFE but i have my needs as well...like an allowance for example?! i dunno....we need to have a conversation about this but i don't know how to start....ugh....

ok this is getting pretty long so i think that's enough for once....so if you girls could give me some advices, share your experience etc about how to start the arrangement conversation after a while even if you already had had it with him before....

xoxo
Chelsea...the cute rebel ;)

P.S. did you know that the 3rd season of the secret diary of a call girl has started?!...i love that show!!!

Bali.......

2010-01-31T23:58:00.000+02:00

so I am back from Bali and....ugh....sp much to tell but not so much energy left to write (couldn't get a sleep in the plain so basicly 2 unslept days for me)....

so whit what can i start....it was AMAZING...a way of enjoying things and living like that in general was smth so new to me...I mean reading, hearing about it, watching on reality shows etc...it's a complete different thing....i don't wanna get my hopes up and mess with my luck but i have to say it was AMAZING....i flt just like in a fairy tale....everything high class, expensive....the possibilities which money opens up for you...how differently people treat you etc...but as for the SD himself....i was pleasantly surprised...not only wouldn't i give him even near 54 but his personality is so so charming as well...this could work out really really good....BUT although at first i thought it was good that money, arrangements, SA etc hadn't been mentioned even once during our holiday but now when i sum up everything i start to think that he is more into a real relationship where he will just treat me whit trips, gifts etc but not actually provide an allowance every month which i desperately need...oh well, we'll see....

ok i know it's not much but i really need some beauty/energy sleep and i'll write more tomorrow and also there will be an about my australian guy because i remembered that i actually have never introduced him properly...

xo
Chelsea

bye for 10 days...

2010-01-20T17:17:00.000+02:00

so tomorrow morning I am off to Bali....a 22 h long flight...ok ok...since it's 1st class i think i'll survive lol...anyway we arranged to meet at the airport and go through the immigration together since there have to be shown papers of the hotel which you are staying at etc....i went on a shopping spree yesterday and spent all my money on clothes and two pairs of shoes...all for him so he better be satisfied and compensate it...but 8ays together....i usually get tired of even some people who are quite close to me after this amount of time...well we'll see...if this will work out good i think he could be my constant money daddy...because i want to get my own apartment in the center so that means an allowance..........anyway i will give an update how it went as soon as i will get back home whether with good or bad news....(i really hope that with good ones)

as for McSteamy....well he wrote me an email that he really enjoyed our short time together and is eager to meet up again ASAP to (and i quote)"repeat or try to have an even more amazing weekend together if that is even possible".....well sure, i wrote him that this time we could go to some other country for the weekend...as he is not a money daddy but more of a gift daddy then he can at least give me some traveling experinces and hopefully get me the things which i mentioned him last week(apple ipod, laptop and a camera)...

then there is this other guy which i met on sd4me.com and he is married, over 50 and with a big income as well...but after we exchanged couple of messages and emails he already deleted his account on sd4me saying that he thinks i am the one and he doesn't have to look for an sb anymore...oookeey....that's a little too fast for my taste but ok, we'll see...he can come here to meet me for a weekend in Febryary

and here is my dilemma...which weekend for which SD and most importantly which SD will get the Valentine's day's weekend??????i of course will await gifts from all of them but which will be the one i actually spend Valentine's day with....who knows..

so i guess i'll have to catch up a lot when i come back from my trip...anyway wish me luck(i hope i won't need it though) and bye bye sugars...till the 31st January

i am back with lots of sugar

2010-01-16T09:47:00.005+02:00

i know i haven't written anything since Christmas...the thing is that I was really busy with writing my curse paper, going to gym etc....

so there are huge changes in my sugar life....on this Thursday i met up with McSteamy and well at least i think it went great....so when he landed here he gave me a call and we agreed to meet in his hotel's lobby(have to admit i felt a little bit like a call girl or smth like that remembering the show "secret diary of a call girl" with a scene where she walks in a hotel and waits for her client in the lobby).... so the thing is that he arrived very late...proximately around 11 pm so there almost no decent restaurant open so first we went to the hotel's bar to drink smth warm because i was freezing to death...believe me you would be to if you had walked in a mini dress and high heels with a thin layer of what looked like a coat but definitely isn't doing the functions that it is supposed to....anyway he acted very chivalrous and took my hands in his and warmed them up and then he gives me this shopping bag saying that it is a late Christmas present and what do i see inside...CHANEL...my first Chanel dress yey....so then we wanted to go to the hotel's restaurant but as it was inside the hotel's casino and i being smart as always hadn't taken with me my passport, so we couldn't get in but there was an option to order from the restaurant to the room and so we did....first i was quite anxious about going to his room and so but all the time he gave me this respectful feeling that he wouldn't do anything that i wouldn't be up to....so while we were waiting for our order to arrive, he opened a bottle of red wine(for courage i had drunken 2 glasses of wine beforehand lol)and i to have say it was so easy to talk to him...i really enjoyed our conversations...he is a psychiatrist and at first i thought that he will be like all listening and letting me talk and analyzing me etc but nothing like that...i of course had ordered one of the most expensive dishes...well i love Japanese kitchen and have tried lots of dishes but never anything from the expensive ones...after we enjoyed our meal he opened a bottle of champagne and not that i was drunk but i was already in the everything's great faze....so it was somewhere around 3 am and he offered me to stay over...i was about to say no but he said that as there are two beds(the room where he stayed was so impressive and huge)we would sleep separately..no obligations...well probably because of the good amount of alcohol in my organism i agreed...he gave me his shirt as a pj and although i usually find it difficult to fall asleep or really relax while sleeping elsewhere than my own bed, to my surprise in the morning i felt really relaxed...he ordered breakfast to the room and i enjoyed it in my bed as he was playing the waiter (he played his role perfectly and it was so hilarious but great as well)...his flight home left at 7 pm so we had quite a lot of time left...so he gave me 30$ for the cab to go home to change and then come back...so i did...i wore this time jeans with a sexy white sweater and this time a thicker coat which went well together with my high heel winter boots and jeans....so we met up in the old town part...did a little sightseeing and he is such a perfect gentleman...he held me by my waste when we crossed the streets because the road was quite slippery and walking in high heels made it all quite dangerous lol...anyway we went to one of the nicest restaurants there to have lunch and there happened the funniest thing, the waiter who was really really hot(note to myself - have to go to the restaurant again but this time alone if you know where i am aiming at)and the water started to flirt with me, in front of McSteamy lol...the waiter probably thought that he was like my father or something (he is in his mid 30's and looks fit but age gap was quite easy to be seen) and then i brought up the topic of my wish list which includes an iPhone, new laptop and a camera, i am sure that next time i will definitely get the iPhone, dunno about the other things though...after lunch we went to the art gallery(turns out he is a fan of art just like i am) and after that we went back to the hotel, drank coffee and it was time for him to get going unless he wanted to miss his flight...we parted with a kiss...have to admit he is a great kisser and it all seemed so natural...then he gave me money for the taxi which turned out to be two 100$ bills...then we agreed on talking later and he said he can't wait for our next meeting....yey :)

i know i somehow described it very long in every detail but i am just so super excited....my first meeting and it went so good...

oh but i haven't told you about what awaits me one the 21st of January.....this little sugar baby is going to Bali....yes Yes YES!...it's a treat from a new potential SD which i met only in the end of the year...he is from Australia, 54 and a has a really high net worth...once i told him that the weather here is so so cold and i am tired of the snow...then he said ok then let's go to Bali...that simple...and i thought a little about it and thought oh what the hell and agreed...so ok, it takes 22 hours to go to Bali from here but as I will be sitting in the first class i think I'll survive lol... :D so i am leaving on the 21st and will be back on the 31st...he loves to surf and told me that he will get me a teacher so that i could learn it as well...well that would be great...imagine me saying someday "oh yeah i can surf...i learned it in Bali..." lol...so the extra 200$ from McSteamy will come quite handy for preparations for the trip...
there are other new potential ones but nothing worth mentioning yet...

so i hope this year has started good for all the sugar babies and there will be lots of sugar for every one of us :)

xo
Chelsea(cute rebel)

so typical Vol. 2

2009-12-21T11:16:00.002+02:00

more and more potentials are appearing in the picture......i guess it's the holiday season desperation...anyway, there was one guy who just soo ruined my Christmas mood....the thing was everything started out well....he is a high profile attorney in Chicago....then we decided to have a video chat and god it was like talking to a totally different person, actually no, not a person but an a-hole...he acted like a complete jerk and after line - "why don't you wanna sex on the first date? i mean isn't that what all girls from your country want - find a rich american and keep him whatever it costs..." i had definitely had enough of him for a lifetime...i mean WTF.....offending all the girls from my nation is one thing, but calling me a stupid gold digging bimbo who will open her legs at any time just to get money......wow budy, biiig mistake!!!

there have been nice ones as well but i actually don't have much time because i am off to my gran's place for Xmas...

so Merry Christmas sugars....have a sweet and nice holiday time whether it's with your family, special someone or your SD...;)*

xoxo
Cute rebel*

so typical....

2009-12-17T16:09:00.004+02:00

i guess sugar life isn't that much different from real life...like it turns out that not only in real life most men appear to be interested in you exactly when you are taken, it's the same in sugar life....the thing is i have already arranged meetings and really bonding with two potential SDs(McSteamy and the married guy, let's call him McMarried lol) but now tadaaa....2 new ones show up....with really promising budgets/allowances, with interesting personalities and options....but i really doubt i could handle 4 SDs and the university...if weren't studying and were unemployed yeah sure but now...or could i?...ugh i know...i am so greedy but what can i do....just thinking of finally being able to stand on my own feet and have a stable financial life....and goodies, let's not forget about the labels etc...mmm....no wonder there is a saying "the biggest appetite comes while eating"...:D

hm you guys probably think my blog is boring......much talking but no dates....well for my defense there are no SDs in my country or the ones next to it, so i have to look internationally....so i guess the first 2 dates which most sugar babies have in life i have via email....getting to know the other person and their expectations....i discuss it through emails and with two SDs it looks like it could work....McSteamy is coming here on the 7th of January....he plans to take a trip somewhere afterward and if everything goes well, i will be joining him........................McMarried isn't free till the end of January so about that later...

now to the newbies.....i actually was pretty much frustrated about the fact that i am free from the end of this year till the 5th of January....i mean when i scheduled everything around this date i had the thought that by now i would already have a SD with whom i most probably would spend the new year....so imagine how i have been feeling since i understood that it looks like i will have to meet new year by myself.....Buuuuuut......it might be turn out not quite like that....so one of the new ones(he is from Switzerland owns property all over Europe, deals with some kind of internet business, so let's call him McNet) mentioned that we could meet maybe on the 29th and if everything is great(chemestry etc) we could go to somewhere where it is hot and sunny and meet the new year there....not to get my hope up but YEEEY.....it would be sooo great....

as for the other new potential SD....we haven't decided on the exact date but seems like things are doing good....btw he is from Switzerland as well but thank god from a different city, he sounded like a very serious person though, that's i am going to name him McStraight....anyway we discussed the allowance topic and he offers 3000$ as a monthly allowance +gifts and as for our meetings, he wants me to "devote 4-5 days a month" for him....doesn't sound bad...actually not bad at all....i mean it actually could work out quite well because at my university we have free every first week of the month, actually it's an exam week but the exam usually is at Fridays and if you don't have any debts then the rest of the week you have free.....pretty cool huh?

so let's just assume that i could work out 4 SDs.....the weekends would 2 go to McSteamy and 2 to McMarried....McStraight would have his 4-5 days of my exam week but as for McNet...well i don't know where he could fit....but most important is that i get to meet new year at some warm place and we'll see what will be next...because it's so freaking freezing here, i even avoid going outside if it's not really necessary...lol

ok...for now i think it's all i had to tell you guys....

bye bye sugar community ;)

to go or not to go...

2009-12-14T23:37:00.003+02:00

i know i already blogged today but i just received an intriguing email from the married guy which i had mentioned in one of my latest posts...i googled him and turns out he is the owner of a really large international advertising company....wow if that is not an interesting coincidence because i study for a Bachelor's degree in international marketing and advertisement....interesting, interesting, interesting....
anyway he wants to meet and wants to know when and where...he offers to even book me a flight to his town (1st class ofcourse) and a room at the best hotel....i think for the first meeting i better should meet at my hometown, what do you think sugars? i mean if everything goes well i can go to him any time but for now better and safer that i stay here, right?

ok, i just wanted to quickly share with you guys....

love,
cute rebel*

*i think i am going to use this nick now....kind of like it cuz it suits me perfectly...:p

"you are so unbelievably cute"....

2009-12-14T16:43:00.005+02:00

for heaven sakes i am tired of being cute....i mean puppies, kittens - yes, they are cute...but me...ugh, it's not like i have one of those baby faces....it's more like a doll face and my porcelain white skin doesn't help as well....you might ask why i am bringing this up?....well last weekend when i went to the club three guys with whom i danced said the same thing that i am cute and others have said it previously as well, and now even my potential SD said that.....grrrr

anyway i have finally a concrete date on which i am going to meet up with McSteamy....unfortunately it's at the beginning of January....ugh so far away....anyways we agreed on meeting here in my hometown...he will be staying at the best/fanciest hotel here...mm....that says a lot - like he is what he claims to be for example....BUT he said smth that disturbs be: "I will come in the middle of the week, and stay for one night in *** hotel. Hope you will join me there...." join him?!?!? oh no buddy, if you think that i am going to "get it on" already on our first date, you are terribly wrong....so the plan is that after finding out if we even connect in real life like we do through our emails, i might join him in his room for a drink or so if everything goes well, but nothing more....a real relationship or a SD/SB relationship but sex on the first date is a NO for me...I mean look at it as you want but in my opinion if you let him have you on the first date, you sort of loose the respect and power which you would have if you wouldn't let him get you so easily...don't get it wrong...i am not into games but still...i have my principles or rules as you might call them...

as for the other potentials....hm actually there hasn't been much of an activity so i will tell more when there actually is what to tell about...:p

so for now....bye bye from the "cute rebel".....hm i think i actually might like this nick...heh

hmm

2009-12-13T21:16:00.001+02:00

so i haven't written for quite a while just because i have been really busy...unfortunately not with anything related to sugar life, well except for the gym lol....dunno why but have not received anything from McBudget which is really odd because i have no idea why...i mean we had developed a great connection and then it just stopped....he hasn't written anything for a week....so i guess he is out of the potential SD's list....

as for McSteamy...well things are doing good but he asked me to name the amount of the allowance which i would want to get....i really didn't know how much to ask and thought oh whatever and said 4000$ which now i understand that was too much just because we maybe won't be able to meet as often as wanted...but he was understanding and offered that he would give me somewhere around that sum before his vacation on january...oh i think i haven't mentioned about it....the thing is that on january i am free from studies and it's exactly when he is taking a vacation...doesn't it fit perfectly? anyway he said that if everything goes well he would love to take me with him on a tour around Europe....yay...i REALY hope everything will go well...although there would be a little problem - my mom....although we live in two different cities she still calls me at least three times a week...but if i will be somewhere in Europe she won't be able to get in touch with me, which means she might get the wrong idea like something bad has happened to me etc.....that's why i came up with an idea that i might say her that i have gotten myself a really rich boyfriend and later when the time comes i will tell her that he offers me a trip to dunno somewhere near to my country but somewhere where she can't reach me though....wouldn't be that far from truth actually....:D but she definitely would never understand or even accept the fact that her daughter is something even near a sugar baby, i think she wouldn't never talk to me again and i am really not joking.....so i have to lie...not that it would be the first time since i am quite a wild spirit and i had to get through teenage years partying without being caught...i am quite a good actress..:p

oh and apart from other new potentials there is one really potentially potential SD....quite an impressive net worth, polite and nice personality, lives near me....BUT......he is married...i have always had a really strict no cheating policy in my relationships so now i am in quite a controversy with myself....dunno....we'll see....

but for now i have to prepare for tomorrow's exam in law....ugh hate that subject, why the hell do students need to know the theory of law if they are studying marketing and advertisement?!?!

ugh.....so for now...bye ;)

so far so good....

2009-12-08T01:17:00.000+02:00

so today i received a letter from McSteamy...he had been very busy for these last couple days so he wasn't able to reply....but basicly what he said in his letter was that he loved my photo which i sent him(ofcourse, i looked damn hot in it) and gave me loads of compliments...basicly he wants to know when and where i would like to meet him and "What would be my ideal arrangement?"...honestly i don't know what to say because i haven't confirmed anything with McBudget about next week and the holiday time.....

i am quite in a dilemma right now....like personally i like McSteamy and would love to spend the most time with him rather than with McBudget...but then again i really need money right now and can't afford to be egoistic about things like looks etc....i should more concentrate on the bigger allowance source....

today i thought quite a while about that if i should have more than one sugar daddy...i don't know if i could combine my studies with 2 sugar daddies...but still....wouldn't it be great if i could have the larger sum of money from McBudget and a smaller allowance from McSteamy with whom i would enjoy every minute of it...?

but actually i don't know these two men in person yet so can't judge if i would or wouldn't be able to enjoy their company....so far i think that McBudget has a really nice personality but as for McSteamy...he's hot....but from profession he is a psychiatrist...dunno how i could deal with that... lol

we'll see...ok i am really tired cuz i just came back from the gym where i did a really good job today....worked out like an animal....well i want to look my best so....but for now bye sugar community, I have to get my beauty sleep... :)

looks promising...

2009-12-06T23:27:00.004+02:00

so on other sugar blogs i have noticed that they usually give their SDs nicknames which is actually more convenient.....so remember the guy who was my favourite one....the one who i was attracted to but not with the big budget...i think i might call him McSteamy (yeah just like in Grey's Anatomy)just because he really is hot.....although i don't know why but it has been quite quiet with him....last time we spoke we exchanged photos via emails...i mean i don't think my photo could be at fault cuz it was really hot but sophisticated as well(not like trashy, cheap hot etc)....previously he answered to my mails really fast no matter at what time i sent them....hm strange....but still hope it' s just because he is really busy cuz i would love him to be my SD...

and then there was the other potential SD with the really big budget...but without any attraction from my side...i will call him McBudget.....so he is currently on a business trip somewhere in south of Europe and wrote me a really long email which honestly swept me a little bit of my feet....i have to admit that his offers and everything of what he said sounded so damn tempting...i might wanna pay more attention to him i think....cuz well that would be one hell of an arrangement with him....in his last email he said that i should name the exact date and he would arrange it so that he could come to meet me here....i haven't decided yet but i think i will go with some day from the next week....

which means going to gym this week...i mean i want to look my very best for McBudget so that everything goes smooth and i maybe even might have found my basicly main SD...wow that would be so great - to start new year as a real already spoiled SB.....sounds good...

ok, don't know if anybody is even reading this but if you are then stay tuned...i will definitely keep you updated on what i decide and how it goes... ;)

this is it...

2009-12-06T12:58:00.010+02:00

Ok, i have been exchanging some emails with potential SDs...but honestly i have tons of questions like where and how the first meeting should go, what to say and to do and what not...when should i start with talking about my needed allowance....on which date is it ok to have sex etc.....

i think i should choose a SD who has experience in this and could lead me into the sugar life...i am a quick learner so i will get around it really quickly...

now about the potential SDs....well there is one SD who is my favourite of all of the SDs who have written me so far...he is 33 years old and quite attractive if i may say so...i mean i actually am attracted to him because despite his age he keeps himself in a really good shape....not that 33 is quite old but still...but ofcourse there is a catch....he isn't as wealthy as other potential SDs....although as long as he can afford "spoiling me" it's not my business how he manages his budget...

oh and there is this other candidate who is a lot wealthier but.......from appearance totally no attraction...although he seems like a nice, interesting person...just like a real sugar daddy...the type of man who would really take care of you in every way needed...

i think i could arrange my meetings somewhere between christmas and new year because i will definitely spend christmas with my family but new year's eve i actually could spend with my SD in one of the big cities of Europe...like Paris for example...mmm...that has always been one of my dreams to celebrate new year in Paris....uhh...that's one of the factors why i joined the sugar movement...it helps your dreams to come true!

p.s. as i know i could never tell all of this "second life" of mine to any of my friends or family, i felt quite uneasy...but it changed when i recently met an old and really close friend of mine..she is most open-minded and down-to-earth person of all of my friends......so i decided if anyone could accept my decision about this and support me then it must be her...and i was right...not only she accepted my decision, she now wants to join as well....yey...i mean it feels so good to talk with somebody about this and if we both are going to do this then it would be so great to share my feelings/experiences with smb who's dealing with the same thing... :))

i am back as a sugar baby wannabe...

2009-12-02T16:09:00.003+02:00

well i was gone for approximately a month.....that's because i was doubting my decision about all this escort or sugar baby/daddy thing.....I even have received couple messages on this sugar site called seeking arrangements.....when i looked it up on the internet it turned out to be the most popular and best site for sugar daddies and babies...it was even shown and discussed on Letterman's show as well as on ABC news....."interesting" i thought......

so i have now made up my mind...i will be doing this...but no escort or callgirl thing...i decided that it's just too low for me...i will try to go for being a sugar baby....ofcourse these so called mutually beneficial relationships include having sex as well but it's not like just lain sex and plain money....it's more like a relationship...the sugar daddy takes care of his baby and spoils/pampers her or whatever you might call it....

i guess for me the best ones will be who will want to go on trips together, spend time together on holidays etc....cuz i have studying to do for the university and the fact that i live in a country which isn't actually near to any of the big sugar daddy residences like norway, germany, france etc (from that you can figure out that i do live somewhere in europe)...

ok now i have edited my profile with what i am like and what am i looking for...uploaded 2 photos in which my face can't be seen....(just a precaution so that in any case i stay anonymous)

I am going to join the sugar family hopefully soon, so wish me luck....

theme song

2009-11-15T18:48:00.003+02:00

those who have seen the "Ally McBeal" tv show will know what I am talking about...when I couple months ago finished watching the first season (have seen it about a hundred times but still love it) I started to think about what my theme song could be....well for Ally it was "Tell him" by Vonda Shepard...it suited her perfectly...but for me? I mean the principles should be the same...the kind of song which gives you energy and confidence, makes you smile while listening to it and go faster while walking on the street...

at that time I thought that ok, it looked great and possible in a tv show, but can't be possible in real life....I mean it's just a song and knowing my tendency to loose my interest in things very fast.... besides every situation needs different kind of stimulation, so different kind of songs....and even if I would find one, on days when I am in a really horrible mood, one song can't size my day, make my mood go from minuses to +100%...or can it?

guess what...damn right it can...and it did....it was somewhere three days later when I heard this song on the radio and fell in love with it imediately...it actually has all those features which I mentioned earlier...I have been listening to it for about 4 months and still it has the same energetic, optimistic, explosive effect on me as it had the first time....even on very crappy days, which I thought wasn't possible....:)

P.S.I actually forgot to mention the name of the song...it's "Destination" by Leonid Rudenko...Love, love, LOVE it!

my abroad suprise....

2009-11-07T14:49:00.003+02:00

in my previous post i mentioned that i have to write about a story from my past....it was related to the topic about sleeping with smb who you don't find attractive....

it was one and a half a year ago, although it all actually started two years ago....on one of those international meeting sites, where you can find penpals or friends or for some smth even more serious, i met a guy...he was from a different country which wasn't that far away but not couple of hours away either....so we started chatting and the more i found out about him the more we found out that we share similar interests and opinions about lots of stuff...at some point i doubted that it is even possible that two people, who are from different countries and have never met in real life, could get along so great even after a half year of non stop chatting....i am not saying that he is a perfect guy but it was his personality which perfectly matched my....

after 6 months of chatting ofcourse we decided to meet in real life...god, how nervous i was that day when he was about to come here to my city, country(better won't name it out of precociousness)...ofcourse i had had a manicure, done my hair and bought new clothes and lingerie.....i have to admit myself that i looked stunning that day...i remember how nervous i was that day when i woke up, but then i thought about it a little and came to a conclusion that actually i have nothing to be nervous about(or afraid) cuz basicly i had known him for half a year, i knew what he looked like and as good as an actor you might be, you can't pretend to be smb else every day for half a year....so i went to meet him fearless and confident...the only nervousness i felt was out of excitement....so there i was waiting at the international bus station, when i cought a sight of a big bus on which was written the name of the country which he's from....well i admit, for a second my heart did start to beat like crazy and my whole confidence was gone....but only for a second, cuz when he finally got off the bus i was....well i think the right word would be shocked.....i mean i know that you can improve your picture and looks with photoshop, but honestly....that much improving?!....i am not saying that he was hideous or really ugly but well....don't think that i am shallow but i have to say that in real life i would most probably not consider him as a potential boyfriend or even hook-up....so there i was, standing totally shocked...but then i reminded myself what a great personality he has and how much i like him...so we spent the afternoon walking/sightseeing...then the night came with a decision to make- weather he stays overnight or takes the last bus home...he stayed ofcourse and we spent a night together...it was then when i discovered that although i was totally not attracted to him physically, i could still sleep with him without any i don't know, doubts or antipathy...however it turned out that except for his personality, his looks wasn't the only thing that was an turn off....maybe it was because he was nervous or not very experienced or whatever, but he definitely sucked in bed....

afterwards he ofcourse went back home on the next day but wanted to definitely meat again as soon as possible...he wanted us to be more than friends, but i on the other hand didn't...well yeah i really liked him as a person but for me it is important in a relationship to have that chemistry not only while talking but in bed as well....he couldn't except it so i totally broke off all connections with him...

another option

2009-10-31T18:56:00.005+02:00

couple days ago i met an old really good friend...she used to be the one person whom i told more about my feelings than anybody else...she has never been judgmental so i knew i could ask for her opinion about that "sugar baby" thing....

it turned out that she had been in a bad financial state as well so she chose smth similar...she now works at a web chat...she has to deliver an erotic show and chat as well with the members and she gets payed from 1,91 to 3,99 $ a minute (ofcourse 50% goes to the company she works for)...she earns somewhere between 100 and 200 $ a day...not bad...you don't have to see what the horny guy/man looks like and most importantly there is no direct interaction meaning nobody except yourself is touching you not to mention having sex...

ofcourse there I was with a new option open...not that i had a big problem with sleeping with a guy whom i didn't find attractive (have to remember to write about that one time related to this topic).....but now that i knew the place with the address, salary and everything else it seemed more real than signing up in sites where sugar babies look for their sugar daddies....

so i went there and signed up...i sat there only for two hours and earned 60 $....but honestly it was so weird....like i understand, which more or less normal guy would pay a girl 2$ a minute for talking with him and sexy dancing.....but still the weirdest thing was that i had, if i'm not wrong, 3 guys who wanted me to only stroke my feet and show them really close to the camera and they found it soooo hot...probably they had smth like a feet fetish but i had to try sooo hard not to laugh cuz i simply can't understand how stroking my feet can make a guy "come"....on the other hand why should i care cuz then i don't even have to take off my shirt...:D

but afterwards while walking to the bus station to get home and while riding the bus i had this weird cheap feeling and i think that having one millionaire paying for your company etc wouldn't give me quite a feeling like that cuz on webchat there i am like one of a million who delivers a show etc for hundreds of idiotic guys for 2 or little more $....dunno...i am considering that i have had enough with that one time....honestly i am definitely not that cheap and i am smth special that only few guys/men can afford and get...well then ok i tried it, didn't like it and that's it....

now i am back to the beginning...only that now i have made my decision....weather a high price call girl or "sugar baby"....now what's left is to think out how to start and where to look for potential clients....

easy money, "new" discovery

2009-10-28T20:34:00.003+02:00

have been reading a few blogs from so called "sugar babies", where pretty girls write about their relationships with benefits with the so called "sugar daddies"....it's the same as a call girl...they are like usual girlfriends with whom you can spend the time with while going out or staying in, only that they won't call you on the other day unless you want to...and there is no drama, no jealousy, basicly non of the annoying things in usual relationships...but the best thing for the girl is that she gets paid for it, plus expensive gifts etc...

you want to know why I brought up this topic so suddenly?....well lately i am quite in a bad financial state...my wallet is as empty as the Sahara desert...so yesterday i googled part time job for students and there it appeared, the first link - pretty girls with knowledge in etiquette and fluent in English wanted for accompanying wealthy men....

so naturally the devil on my left and the angel on my right shoulder appeared...the angel talked how wrong it is, that i would loose my pride and value as a woman/person and that there are other ways how to earn some extra money as a student.....but the devil on the other hand knew exactly the right buttons to push, saying that i won't loose anything, cuz it's not like i would be standing on the street and selling myself for tips, no no no...i would be a high price call girl who would get to spend time in luxury and would be even payed for that, besides to get that much money i would have to work full time jobs or even more.....and it's not like i haven't dated guys who i wasn't attracted to by their appearance...

first i threw that thought away but the devil's words popped in my head again and again...and then i decided to look up more information about it...then i found a movie about a call girl, whose name as interesting as it might be was the same as mine, well at least it was her professional name but whatever...the movie is called "The Girlfriend Experience"....and guess what...after watching the movie i am starting to think it might actually be the right job for me, cuz (not to overpraise myself) but i am a really good actress and good at flirting, my good looks is a plus as well...and my laziness and greediness for money and better financial life than i have is big enough for me to choose this kind of a job....

haven't made my final decision yet...from my experience i can say that if i let a new idea rest for like few days and afterwards still find it appealing then it's worth trying...so i will think about it for few days over the weekend and then we'll see, maybe i will start to write my own call girl experience blog as well....

guys, relationships........

2009-10-27T20:49:00.000+02:00

today i read an article in "JOY" that basicly said that women unconsciously pick their partners/mates by comparing them to their fathers or whatever male examples they had while growing up....but what to do if you didn't have a father, stepfather or uncle or whatever male example is available to look up to....for example i had no men in my family which honestly to say isn't big but still - all females....so what conclusion can i draw? should i become lesbian cuz i had so many female examples? :D ehm sry no, i am quite sure that i am definitely into guys...but that leads to one fact that serves as kind of a proof for the father's icon's absence in my younger years....i am not quite a relationship type of a person...it doesn't necessary mean that i have problems with staying in a monogamous relationship but it is more about the trusting and opening up to the other person, letting your guard down and putting your feelings or even heart in the other person's hands...really you can't imagine how impossible and frightening it seems to me....I am that type of a person who is always optimistic and in a good mood, fun to be around and seems to be never in a bad mood or have problems, but actually i just don't show that smth bothers me...i mean to me sharing my problems and emotions make me feel sooo weak and vulnerable and definitely doesn't help like others say that telling smb will make you feel lighter, easier, more relieved and better in general...well with me it's definitely not the case.....so imagine how it is in a relationship for me or for the guy as well....furthermore mostly people just don't understand it, they say smth like "you're so open about everything and always state your opinion so why can't you do the same about your feelings (weather good or bad)?" but I can't...yes, i can say whatever is on my mind about irrelevant things or people but when it comes to smth which really matters to me then i just put a wall around it....but weirdest part about this is that i have never felt the need to actually have like that one person whom i could trust all those secret and burried deep down emotions and thoughts...I remember that once a friend of mine said that i am a lonely wolf who likes to be free and doesn't need anybody else except himself....honestly to say i aggree....for example i know there are many people who like always are in a relationship cuz they just can't be single, weather it's unconsciously or not but they never stay single for longer than 2 weeks maximum and surprisingly it's not certainly themselves who look for that other person but they somehow, dunno give a signal which says "i am single! quick, come and get into a relationship with me"....maybe that's an important factor - the attitude, which in my case says smth like "i don't need anyone, i am fine by myself....."

but back to my general topic about finding the right type of guy...as for me i have no leads upon which i should start my "search"...:D anyway i do have a proximate idea about what my as possible near to the ideal guy should be though:

a priority, mandatory, must is a good sense of humor.....then a big turn on for me is intelligence and if the guy is smarter than me in general then even more, mmm....then he should be active, like i don't mean in a perfect phisical shape with a six pack, no, what i mean is that he should be into doing any kind of sport, activity or even simply go out and not always sit inside....not that i have smth against staying inside, cuz i have these days or weeks or even months when i would rather just spend the whole time inside watching a film, reading a book or even doing nothing and simply laying around....what else.....oh yeah, i can have quite a temper sometimes and i am a strong personality, so i need a guy who can take the lead and have the upper hand in the relationship cuz (sorry ladies for saying this) i need a guy who can be manly enough to shut me down...doesn't have to be in a rough way(definitely not) but i don't know, just some people have that authority aura around them which makes you respect them and listen to them when they say you are wrong...or he could just somehow manipulate me into being convinced that i can get it my way by having it his way...although i am mostly really good at it myself....

see, it's not like i am asking for the impossible perfect guy....or am i?

postponing

2009-10-26T19:45:00.000+02:00

Today i realized how many times (actually every time i take up smth) i never do it right away...i always delay it and tell myself that i'll do it tomorrow, i will start with the next week or month or starting with the new year....always full of determination, but when the time comes to actually do it i just back down...i continue on with the way i always do it....and the most ridicilous thing is that every time i decide to change something in my life i actually really believe that this time i will definitely do it and fully proceed with my plan till the end...quite miserable....uhh

so...there it is, my new plan/goal/LIFE! no more backing down...no more stopping in the middle and not finishing things...no more my old me....here it is - my new determined life where i don't delay anything and always finish what i have started or have planed to start...

I have a good feeling about this time....i didn't mention it before but i have actually a really good intuition, and my intuition is somehow really possitive about this...let's hope this time i will fully succeed....actually no - no hoping, i WILL succeed!!!

xoxo a totally changed person