One Frugal Girl

A Few Things I've Learned From Watching My Son

2012-01-27T15:35:00.001-05:00

I've been able to stay home with my son since he was born just over three months ago. Despite feeling a bit sleep deprived this has been the most amazing time in my life! What has been most surprising is how much I've learned from watching him in these last three months.

First, when you wake from a long night's slumber or even a short cat nap reach your arms above your head and point your toes. Don't be shy about it. Stretch as far as your body will allow. It's funny that this is such a natural instinct, yet as adults we rush out of bed in the morning and never think to stretch our our limbs.

Second, every day is a journey and while you may do the same things day after day you can make them feel fresh and new when you live in the moment. Since my son is so young I find myself pointing out all of the sights, sounds and smells around us. When we go for a walk I notice the little flowers blooming, the smell of wood burning in the neighbor's fireplace and the sound of the trucks lifting trash cans. I thought I was aware of my surroundings before, but now that I want to point everything out to him I realize just how little I was actually paying attention to before.

Third, communication is the key to survival. I can now tell when my little one is hungry or tired or just needs to be changed, but in those first few weeks I had absolutely no idea what he was trying to tell me. Now that he smiles I can tell if he's truly happy and having fun or if he'd rather be doing something else. I find it funny when relatives tell me he's tired. Most of the time he falls asleep because they don't interact with him enough and he gets bored. As a result of being with him day after day I find that I am learning to communicate better with the rest of my family. I'm more in tune to non-verbal communication than ever before and notice the expressions and gestures that often say much more than their words.

Fourth, you don't need much in life to keep you happy. We have two or three small, colorful, hand-me-down toys that my son plays with every day, but at this stage he is just as content to coo and babble with my husband and I. I read him books everyday, but he is just as happy reading the same book three times as he is if I read him three different books in a row.

Fifth, it's important to treasure the time we have together. I can't believe that my son is already three months old. Despite the long sleepless nights I feel like that time passed in the blink of an eye. As a first time mom I initially wanted to do everything just right. I wanted him to sleep in his crib, go to bed at 7 o'clock and nap for two hours at a time, but now I realize that he won't be a baby for very long. Rather than fussing about waking every three or four hours to feed him, I'm happy that I can snuggle him close to me and listen to his breathing change as he falls asleep on my shoulder.

$600 Richer

2012-01-25T23:10:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned a few days ago I am currently in the process of rolling my 401(k) into an IRA. My employer instituted a Roth 401(k) a few years ago, so some money will roll into a Roth IRA and the rest will roll into a traditional IRA. To be more precise roughly $100,000 will move into the Roth and $175,000 will move into the traditional account.

I planned to move the money to Charles Schwab, because that's where my husband and I keep all of our accounts. In fact, we gave me up traditional banking years ago and haven't looked back once since.

Well it just so happens that Schwab is offering a bonus to anyone who rolls a 401(k) into a new or existing IRA from now until April 17th. The bonus amount paid is tied to the amount of money you plan to roll over.

In my case since both accounts will be over $100,000 Schwab will deposit an additional $300 into each account. Given the amount of money I'm rolling over it's certainly not much, but since I'm moving the money anyway it certainly doesn't hurt.

Have You Ever Wondered Why You Crave New Things?

2012-01-23T10:00:00.010-05:00

Do you find yourself craving new things? New clothes, new furniture, a new job, new cell phone, etc. Have you ever wondered why you want all of that new stuff in the first place?

Winifred Gallagher attempts to explain the human desire to engage in things that are new and different in her book NEW: Understanding Our Need for Novelty and Change. Throughout the book Gallagher discusses 'the love of the new', otherwise known as neophilia.

Desiring new things is not always bad. Gallagher's book explains how the desire for newness has pushed inventors to discover new technologies, researchers to create new vaccines and explorers to discover uncharted worlds.

However, as with all things in the life there is a certain yin and yang to newness. While the love of new things may spur great exploration and invention in some, it can cause out of control spending and addiction in others. The desire for new is not so great if it results in sky high credit card bills and closets full of unworn clothing.

The Internet age has added an even bigger sense of new to our lives. We are constantly inundated with new news, new blogs and new emails. In the book, Gallagher mentions the 'new boredom.' She believes that this constant influx of data and information is causing humans to become overstimulated. She believes this overstimulation causes us to become bored faster and that this boredom forces us to constantly seek out new things. Whether it's emails or gadgets we quickly get bored of them and move onto the next newest and greatest thing.

Gallagher provides steps for diminishing people's addiction to new technologies and data. By using timeout techniques, developing a limitation on emails and keeping a log of how often you use a gadget and how it make you feel.

I'm surprised how my own desire for new stuff has diminished to almost nothing over time. Rather than buying new things I now wish for more meaningful, fulfilling moments spent with those I love. I haven't gotten rid of my desire for 'new' I just changed my desire from meaningless new objects to rewarding new experiences.

I can credit my new values on my minimalist lifestyle. I've always been a bit clutter phobic and with the addition of my son I now realize that I simply don't have room for all of the extra 'stuff' I used to desire. Spending my days shopping, dusting and cleaning all of those new objects simply takes me away from spending time with the ones I love. Similarly I've cut out clicking on my email or google reader every few minutes. I want to take time outs for those throughout the day, but otherwise I want to treasure the time I have on this earth. Just as no one ever says "I wish I worked more" on their gravestone I don't think anyone will say "I wish I checked my email more often."

Joining the Yakezie Challenge

2012-01-22T17:30:00.000-05:00

I have absolutely loved being home with my son these last three months, but I do miss the sense of community I felt going to work each day. Since I'm not going out much these days I decided to reach out to the digital community and joined the Yakezie Challenge!

I'm already a reader of many of the Yakezie members blogs, but I don't often comment on their posts. I guess you can say I'm kind of like that secret lurker who loves what she reads, but doesn't share her thoughts with the bloggers whose work I enjoy.

With this challenge I hope to open myself up to the blogging community and hopefully make some great friendships and relationships along the way!

$1 Million By the Time I'm Ready to Retire?

2012-01-21T16:25:00.000-05:00

My job officially ended with my former company in November of last year. In early December I received my last paycheck and on the last day of 2011 I received my severance payout. As each of these events transpire I feel the book officially closing on my previous employment.

I believe yesterday marked the final chapter as I withdrew the money in my retirement plan in preparation for a 401(k) rollover. After twelve years of saving my final tally borders $275,000.

Better market conditions may have resulted in a larger sum, but I still think that's a pretty decent chunk of change. It proves two things to me. First, that I didn't miss the money that was automatically deposited into my 401(k) each month and second that saving small amounts of money month after month really adds up.

Seeing this number in black and white makes me a little more confident about my (possible) decision to stay home for a couple of years. I won't add more money, (or at least not a significant amount), to my retirement accounts while I'm out of work, but the money that is already in my account can certainly grow. I also have money in a Roth IRA that I opened the year after I graduated from college.

In fact, based on a few quick calculations at a 4% rate of return my investments could be worth as much as $1 million by the time I'm ready to retire at age 60. That's $1 million without saving another dime. Of course, I don't plan to be out of the workforce forever, so I would certainly start saving again at some point in the not so distant future.

I haven't made any final decisions about returning to work, but reviewing the numbers makes me feel much more confident about the possibility of staying home. One of my fears is that today's decisions will impact tomorrow's goals. Looking at these numbers I feel more confident that one decision will not dramatically impact another.

Adding More Advertisements to My Blog

2012-01-19T23:45:00.001-05:00

I started One Frugal Girl as a simple means to document my relationship with money. It's hard to believe it's been nearly six years since I wrote my first post! I am grateful to everyone who leaves comments or sends me emails. I've grown to know a number of bloggers and commenters personally. One or two have even rented my beach house in North Carolina.

Since this blog was never about anything other than telling my story I've never tried to make much money from writing it. However, now that I want to stay home with my son I'm thinking more and more about permitting additional advertisements on the sidebar.

Any money that I earn would be thrown towards our health insurance. Even a few hundred a month would make a dent in the overall bill.

I must admit that I rarely notice the advertisements on the blogs I read, but a very messy blog inundated with ads is a real turnoff for me.

What do you think about blogs with a lot advertisements? Do they make you less likely to read them? Would you still read One Frugal Girl if I added them?

Step 4: Consider the Impact to Future Earnings

2012-01-17T19:45:00.011-05:00

In my quest to stay home with my son I've discussed eliminating unnecessary expenses, adding up expenses and the cost of insurance. The next point of focus is the effect of my choice on future earnings and retirement.

If I step out of the workforce for a couple of years my future salary will likely suffer. If I left my job and returned to the exact same position a few years later my salary wouldn't benefit from any raises or cost of living increases during the years that I don't work.

I could argue that I didn't receive a raise last year and that I wouldn't have received one this year either, but I think it's safe to assume most people do get a raise or cost of living adjustment each year and from what I've read most advisers suggest factoring in a 2 to 4% loss each year you remain out of the workforce.

Of course, we all know that I will not be returning to the exact same position, so the question becomes what would I earn after I return in a new job at a different company. There's really no way to know the exact figure, but it is fair to say that I probably won't make as much as I do now. I currently work in technology and unless I stay up to date in the latest and greatest software my salary is likely to plummet the longer I stay out of work.

The honest truth is that I don't particularly love writing software. I liked the puzzle solving aspects and of course the big salary, but I think I'm too much of a people person to spend my entire day facing a computer. So the bigger question of leaving the working world is whether or not I would return to a software development job at all.

I don't love software enough to learn about it and stay up to date on the latest and greatest technologies while I'm at home with my son. If I stay home I will probably take the opportunity to transition into an entirely different role when I return to the working world.

I could apply for positions as an analyst or project manager, (I have a bunch of certifications). While I wouldn't be particularly in love with these jobs they do have salary ranges similar to my previous position and they involve a lot more human interaction. They also require less overtime and late hours.

I have a feeling that unless I find a job I absolutely adore my family time will remain my number one priority. In fact, I would be willing to take a lesser paying job in the future if it was closer to home and/or provided greater flexibility and decent benefits.

As you can see the question for me is larger than just leaving the workforce, A teacher may stay home and return to teaching a few years later, but if I leave I have a feeling I'm looking at a whole new career.

The question is how does that career impact my future goals and lifestyle? I'm not certain that's something I can answer.

Step 3: Realizing It's Not Just About the Paycheck

2012-01-15T12:05:00.000-05:00

In choosing whether or not to stay home with my son I really need to review the money that we will lose on a bi-weekly basis as well as all of the benefits that come with full time employment. Since my husband is self employed I took advantage of all of my employer's benefits. They carried my life and disability insurance as well as dental and health insurance for my husband, son and I.

We can remain on COBRA for up to 18 months after my termination date, but the cost of medical and dental coverage is over $1450 a month! My employer will subsidize the employer portion for the first six months of my unemployment but after that we'll need to pay the full amount. If I don't return to work and remain on COBRA I'll not only fail to draw a salary, but I'll need to find an additional $17,400 a year to cover the cost of insurance! I know there are cheaper options out there, but for a family of three I'm not sure if we'll get away with paying much less than $1000 a month, which is at least $12,000 a year.

I'll also need to purchase my own life insurance policy. Surprisingly the insurance companies don't seem to be too concerned with my past medical issues. They said high cholesterol and blood pressure are bigger red flags, but I won't believe that until I have a policy in hand. I've been quoted rates as low as $500 a year for $500,000 worth of coverage. That's not a whole lot of money to shell out, but it is additional money that we need to take into account.

The more I review the facts the more I realize that staying home to raise my son is not just about the paycheck that arrived every two weeks, but also all of the additional expenses that my former employment used to cover.

Step Two: Add Up All Monthly Expenses

2012-01-13T16:55:00.001-05:00

If I really want to stay home with my son I need to figure out just how much money we spend each month. After looking at some of the numbers I must say I feel slightly house rich and otherwise poor.

The biggest chunk of change certainly comes in the form of monthly mortgage payments. All told we still owe over $698,000 on two properties, which leaves us with a combined mortgage payment of nearly $6,000 each month. The mortgages are both set to expire in 13 years and the interest rate on both are fixed at 4.5%. In addition we pay roughly $9600 in property taxes each year, which works out to an additional $800 each month.

When we refinanced our homes we shortened the length of both mortgages in an attempt to pay them off more quickly. That made a lot of sense when my husband and I were both bringing in large paychecks. Unfortunately now that I'm toying with the idea of staying home for awhile I am a bit concerned with the size of those payments.

Selling the properties is probably not an option. It's not that we couldn't sell them, (neither property is underwater), but my husband and I just don't want to take that route. It's not entirely off the table, but for now it's not an avenue I want to explore.

For all of the non-property related expenses I had to take a look at my husband's unbelievably detailed record keeping. Thank God he does such a stellar job of tracking all of the dollars and cents that move into and out of this house each month.

Last year we spent a significant amount of money on home repairs and maintenance. We replaced each and every window in our home, along with all of the exterior doors and repainted every inch of wall and ceiling space. Those alterations cost us over $35,000. Luckily we made those changes when we did, because if I don't bring in a paycheck we probably won't make any further modifications that aren't required. This category can shrink down to a few thousand per year, unless something unexpectedly breaks.

The other big categories broke down as follows:

Food - $11,000+
Auto - $7,000+
Utilities - $6,000+
Insurance - $5,300+
Travel & Entertainment - $5,200+
Gifts - $1,100+
Baby - $1,000+
Clothing - $1,000+
Projects - $2,000+

Last year's totals amounted to a monthly expense of over $3,300. That number was so large that I didn't quite believe my eyes and stepped through the numbers two or three times in absolute disbelief. In order to sustain this level of spending it goes to show that we were both bringing in very large paychecks each month.

Some of these categories were slightly inflated due to my pregnancy and the birth of my son. For instance, we bought furniture for the baby's room and I spent a few hundred dollars on maternity clothes. We also ordered take out quite a bit in October, November and December, which is not something we typically do. Our expenses will certainly be much less in these categories this year.

The travel and entertainment category was also quite large as my husband and I took a fairly expensive trip to Boston early last year. We also stayed at a pricey hotel in Maryland a few weeks before the baby arrived. If I don't return to work this category will shrink down quite a bit.

The 'auto' category includes things like maintenance, gasoline and tolls. As I mentioned before my husband and I drive 10+ year old cars, but even without a car payment they often need tweaks here and there to keep them running. I also spent quite a bit of money on my commute. I paid a toll each time I drove to work and spent upwards of an hour in my car each way, which cost me a quarter of a tank of gas with each trip.

I'd like to see our non-mortgage related expenses dwindle down to no more than $1100 a month. My husband and I can drastically cut down on the discretionary categories like travel, gifts, baby, clothing and projects. The auto category will dwindle and we can save much more on food. It'll certainly help that I won't be buying lunches out. Some other categories like utilities and insurance are more difficult to cut, so I think we need to factor them in without any alterations.

My next step is to figure out just how much money we can earn this year and how much we have buffered in savings.

Those Extra Pounds Forced Me to Clean Out the Closet

2012-01-11T11:45:00.003-05:00

I lost much of the weight I gained during my pregnancy in the week or so after my son was born. I'm not sure how much I gained from start to finish, but I have a general idea of how much I weighed when it started and how much I weighed the day before Baby A was born. After stepping off the scales this morning I realized I'm still ten pounds above that starting point. Unfortunately, I was ten pounds heavier than I would like to be when I got pregnant, so overall I'd like to lose about twenty pounds.

As I look through the closet I can't believe how many pieces of clothing no longer fit. I can blame some of it on the size of my chest, which has temporarily expanded with the help of exclusive breastfeeding, but the rest of it is due to the extra weight collected around my midsection.

With a little one around I have very little time to shower and get dressed each morning. I take five to ten minutes to wash off and a second or two to route through the drawers for something to wear. I found myself going a little crazy this morning as I reached in the drawer and found shirt after shirt that just wouldn't fit.

After laying my son down for a nap I pulled each and every item out of the dresser and created two separate piles. The first pile contained all of the articles of clothing that don't fit. The second, a minuscule pile compared to the first, contained the remaining items that I can still wear. The shirts and pants that still fit were folded neatly and placed back inside the large dresser drawers. The majority of items in the 'does not fit' pile were folded and placed into boxes. A couple of things were bagged up for charity.

I'm not upset with the way my body looks. After all, my body gave birth to a happy, healthy, beautiful child. After enduring years of pain I wasn't certain what my body was capable of, so carrying and delivering my son has given me a whole new perspective on just how strong it is.

Soon enough I am bound to find myself chasing after my son. As he learns to crawl, walk and run I want to make certain that I am able to keep up with him. As I contemplate staying-at-home and pausing my time in the working world I feel that my wardrobe needs to reflect my desire to help me look good while remaining comfortable.

This year I plan to treasure the moments with my friends and family. I plan to look my best by finding time to exercise with my son and to remember that my body proved stronger than I ever would've imagined. I want the clothes in my closet to reflect the happy, healthy life I hope to maintain.

What are your 2012 Fashion Resolutions? How do you plan to feel great by looking your best this year? Go to BlogHer.com to post your resolutions and then enter to win a Kindle Fire and Amazon Gift Card.

Step One: Eliminate All Unnecessary Expenses

2012-01-09T13:30:00.001-05:00

Right now my husband and I own three vehicles all manufactured prior to the year 2000. Two vehicles, (an Explorer Sport and Jeep Wrangler), only have two doors. The Jeep doesn't have a back seat and the front seats in the Explorer are broken. Right now they are rigged in such a way that the back seat is completely unusable.

So for now we have only one car in which we can safely install a car seat for the baby. It's a Toyota Camry that I bought from a family member. I'm quite tall and the car is rather low to the ground, compound that with a history of extensive neck and back problems, and it can be very difficult to get the baby's carrier in and out of the back seat.

Before our son arrived my husband and I discussed the possibility of purchasing an SUV, which would be higher off the ground and have additional space to carry the plethora of baby equipment around town. We would sell or trade in the Explorer Sport, but it's so old and in such poor condition that I don't think we'd get much for it. The Kelly Blue Book value is less than $2,000. That wouldn't make a dent in the $30,000 cost of a new SUV.

Now that I'm thinking of staying home and saying goodbye to my solid six figure salary I've decided that all unnecessary expenses should be cut. First on the list is the 'new to us' SUV. It's going to continue to be difficult to get the baby in and out of the car, but I don't plan on traveling too much with him on a daily basis. With just a couple of trips a week total to places like the local library, friend's houses, etc. it shouldn't be such a big deal to put up with the Toyota for awhile.

When we had two large salaries coming in each month we thought nothing of spending a few thousand on home improvement projects, landscaping or new kitchen appliances, but with one less income we need to watch where each and every dollar is going. So the next step is to cut any future home projects that aren't entirely necessary. That included a couple of landscaping projects my husband had planned.

We'll still keep a list of goals, which will include these items, but for now their time horizon is being extended to a much later point in the future. My next step is to review our monthly bills. I do this every so often, so I don't intend to find much fat to trim, but it certainly won't hurt to review the options and see what else can go. Netflix is first up on the chopping block.

Contemplating the Stay At Home Option

2012-01-07T15:15:00.002-05:00

As time passes I am more and more thankful and grateful for the opportunity to spend each and every day with my newborn son. If it had not been for the large layoffs at my former company I would be expected to return to work this week. Thankfully the fates aligned and rather than returning to an unfulfilling job I am currently staying home and enjoying the moments that make up my young son's life.

I already have a new job lined up, but as the days pass I'm not certain that I'll be able to return to the work. My son means the world to me and if my husband and I can manage life on one income I think I would like to stay home with him for at least the first year. Of course, I realize that the first year may become the first few years, especially if we have another child at any point along the way. Let's face it a part of me knows that a year will easily turn into four or five.

I don't know too many women who have made the switch to stay-at-home mom. Most of my peers return to work a few weeks or months after their children are born. Some do it because they like their jobs and some do it because they feel they have no other choice.

Although I have not always admitted it, even to myself, I have always wanted children. I worked in daycare for years and cried for a full week when I left that job to head off to college. After three years in the same center, those children were a part of me and I grew to love many of them as if they were my own.

Now that I have my own child I'm not certain that I can drop him off in someone else's care. Being on the other side of the fence I watched many mothers cry as they waved goodbye to their little ones each morning. Over the next week or so I hope to post about my thoughts, feelings and financial factors in this matter. I need to make a decision on this within the next two months so I really need to stop avoiding the topic and search for an answer.

Losing Money the Easy Way

2012-01-04T21:10:00.001-05:00

Since my son arrived I've spent little to no time searching for bargains. My sleep schedule is still pretty wacky so I'm doing my best just to keep things afloat. I also LOVE being with him and don't want to waste time driving around town to save a dollar or two. The fact that it's cold and flu season gives me one more excuse to not venture out of the house. After all, it doesn't make any sense to purposefully expose him to the sick folks filling their prescription at CVS or Rite Aid. Maybe I'll change my thinking once the warm weather of spring rolls around.

In the mean time I drive to the drugstores once every couple of weeks, rather than once a week to take advantage of the bargains. This week as I was cleaning out my coupon binder I noticed $10 worth of UP coupons from Rite Aid that I'd completely forgotten about.

For those of you who don't know... UP coupons are like cash in Rite Aid. You receive them on your register receipt after purchasing specific items, but once earned you can use them to purchase just about anything in the store other than cigarettes, prescriptions and lotto tickets.

When I saw that stash of coupons staring me in the face I nearly kicked myself for forgetting about them. $8 would have paid for a pack of diapers for our son, a tube of diaper ointment or a whole host of other items we need.

In the past I went to the drugstore often enough to 'roll the coupons.' I'd use UP coupons to purchase other items that provided more UP coupons, which ultimately resulted in spending little to no money on my drugstore purchases for weeks and weeks on end.

Now that I'm going to the store less and less often I think I need to revisit my strategy. Until I get into a regular habit of bargain shopping I might cut the coupons off the register receipt the minute I receive them. Then I can purchase additional items I need before I even leave the store.

$8 isn't the end of the world, but it feels like I opened my wallet and let the money fall to the floor. I hate that feeling!

My Hope for the New Year!

2011-12-31T16:30:00.001-05:00

This year I'm not making a list of New Year's resolutions. I know that I need to eat better, cut out soft drinks and lose the excess ten to fifteen pounds I'm carrying around after the birth of my first child. I know I should do a whole bunch of this and whole bunch of that in 2012, but instead of creating a long list of to-dos I've decided to focus on one and only one goal for the new year.

I hope to pay greater attention to my life. In essence, I hope to be present in the every day moments that make up my day-to-day existence. My son is only two and a half months old and I already feel like he's growing up in the blink of an eye.

Every day I plan to write down the days events, but somehow night falls and I realize I still haven't even written down the details of his birth, which occurred nearly eleven weeks ago. I am blessed with a very loving husband and a decent severance check, which enable me to stay home with my little boy.

I want to make every second of his young life count. I want to watch the world through his eyes. When we take him to the beach I want to hear the crashing waves as though I'm hearing them for the very first time. His first afternoon blowing bubbles, the first time he really looks at the pages of the storybooks we read. I want to live in these moments, because in no time at all they will feel like distant memories.

This year my only and only resolution is to be present in the moment. Whether that's time spent with my son or with friends and family I really want to stop rushing around and really embrace this amazing life I am fortunate enough to live! I think it's less of a resolution than a hope. The hope that I can count my blessings and relish the time we have to spend together.

Taking It to the CEO

2011-12-30T17:00:00.001-05:00

I'm not typically one to be quiet. If you ruffle my feathers I'll probably let you know about it. If you don't solve my problem I'll probably find someone above you who will. That's just the way things go in my world. Why stand back and let the world whip you around when you can take control of the reigns and make things happen?

If you're a regular reader of my blog you know that the HR staff at my former company screwed up the processing of my severance payout. For whatever reason they failed to mail out the paperwork required to receive my severance and then never apologized for failing to send it out.

When I called to have the issue rectified I was told the severance check which was originally due to arrive in December was now set to arrive in February. That means I would've been waiting for quite some time to receive that money. It also means my severance would've been applicable to the 2012 tax year rather than 2011.

My severance was large enough to place me over the limit for payroll taxes this year, so if the check arrived in December I would've been saved from paying social security tax. If it arrived in 2012 I would've paid the full rate, which by the way is going back up to 6.2% next year.

I was annoyed that HR screwed up, failed to apologize and didn't seem very interested in rectifying the situation for me. I was told by my HR representative that nothing could be done. I didn't believe that. I knew that payroll could cut a check for me by December 31st.

So....

I emailed the CEO of my former company along with a VP of Human Resources. I explained my situation, how long I'd been with the company and the bizarre circumstances with which I was let go (a massive layoff for a position I'd just applied for) and that I'd like a check cut before December 31st.

Sure enough I received an immediate response saying the problem could be rectified. A check was shipped via overnight delivery and I received it early this afternoon.

It's just another case to prove that I am my own best advocate. If I fight for what I believe is right I usually win!

$100 Worth of Bottles My Baby Refuses to Use

2011-12-28T22:30:00.002-05:00

Ahhh. The frustration of the first parenting hurdle. It seems my two month old son will not accept a baby bottle. At six weeks we decided to introduce a bottle and the little guy gulped down three ounces like a champ. The next night the same thing occurred, but a few days later we gave him another bottle and he refused. He eventually drank, but not without a lot of fuss. A day later he wouldn't accept the bottle from anyone.

So I drove out to the store and bought every bottle and nipple I could find on the shelf. I also ordered a few that I couldn't find in store from Babies-R-Us. That afternoon he drank from one of the bottles twice, but the next day he was back to pushing it away. $100 later it seem our little man does not want to drink from any of the bottles we purchased.

I read every article I could find on the Internet and tried every trick I could get my hands on, but our baby cannot be tricked. He wants breast milk right from the tap and he refuses to accept anything else.

Am I frustrated? Definitely, but I've decided not to get all worked up about the issue. I was hoping our little one would take a bottle once a day so my husband could help out with late night feedings, but I've decided not to get too upset about the fact that he is refusing. The truth is that I treasure the closeness of breastfeeding and have no immediate need for the baby to eat any other way. For the time being I can deal with the lack of sleep and since I'm not planning on returning to work for a few months there is no need to rush him to take a bottle.

So what's a girl to do with $100 worth of bottles that her baby refuses to use? Well for the time being my husband and I are still trying to get the baby to drink from a bottle, we are just doing it in a calm and stress free manner. We hope that he'll take to one of the bottles eventually, but if all else fails we'll try to use a cup instead. Believe it or not we've had quite a bit of success with a cup already.

I figure this is the first of many parenting hurdles we'll run into and it won't be the first time we drop a load of cash in the hopes of helping us solve a problem.

I'm Sorry. I Don't Have Your Severance Check.

2011-12-24T00:25:00.001-05:00

The first thing you realize after getting laid off is that a lot of bills come due. If you don't have other insurance COBRA comes calling. If you want to convert your life insurance policy MetLife gives you a ring. The good news is that all of these places are willing to extend benefits to the unemployed.

I can remain on COBRA for 18 months and I can convert my life insurance to an individual policy without a medical exam. The bad news is that once I review the options and make decisions I need to pay the bills.

Since my employer used to pay a good portion of these benefits I had no idea just how much they cost. With COBRA my medical and dental insurance will now cost me over $1400 a month. By the way since coverage is retroactive I now owe three months worth of premiums. That's right by the end of January I'll need to fork over nearly $3000.

This wouldn't be such a big deal if my employer mailed my severance check, but alas my check is no where to be found. It seems I must fill out a bunch of forms before I can receive payment and surprise, surprise the paperwork was lost in the mail. Well my former employer is claiming it was lost in the mail.

So here I thought a check would arrive this week and instead I find out my former employer hasn't even begun processing the paperwork for my severance. Now they'll need to resend the documentation and won't begin the process until they receive a copy back with my signature. That may mean waiting another month to receive that big check.

It's a good thing we have emergency savings. I know a lot of people in the same situation would be unable to pay their medical bills.

Seriously Considering Giving Netflix the Boot

2011-12-21T23:59:00.002-05:00

I'm seriously considering giving Netflix the boot. It seems to take forever for them to obtain the rights to ship out DVDs for new releases and when a movie finally becomes available it seems to take forever for them to actually mail it to me. My queue is filled with notes reading 'long wait.'

My husband and I currently subscribe to the 2 DVDs out-at-a-time plan, which costs $14.99 a month to receive Blu-rays. We originally had access to streaming video as well, but once Netflix started charging for that service we got rid of it. Most of the available movies are relatively old and we really only watch older films when we're at the beach house in North Carolina, which isn't very often these days.

Rather than waiting for extended periods of time to receive new releases I've recently starting renting them from Amazon. I noticed a few months ago that Amazon discounts the prices of a select set of movies each week. The selection varies, but there always seem to be at least three or four movies available for 99 cents at any one given time.

For the price of a monthly Netflix membership I can watch 15 movies at 99 cents a piece. A newly released HD movie typically costs $4.99, so if I didn't rent any discounted movies I could only rent three movies in a month for the same price as my Netflix membership, but in a typical month I probably only watch three or four movies anyway.

Some people may suggest that I downgrade to the Netflix 1 DVD out-at-a-time plan if I rent so few movies, but a lot of times I hold onto a movie for a few extra days so my husband can watch it with me. Then I use the second DVD as a rotating wish list for chick-flicks he wouldn't be interested in.

I think I'll place my Netflix account on hold for now and try to rent exclusively through Amazon. Right now the cost of membership just doesn't seem worth it.

No Gift Hunting This Year

2011-12-19T21:55:00.000-05:00

Since my son arrived this fall I've had very little time to spend shopping either in-store or on the Internet. So, rather than busting my hump to find the perfect gifts for people I decided to dish out the gift cards, hand over adorable photo albums of our new addition to the family and call it quits on gift hunting this year.

While I know that gift cards aren't exactly the most interesting items to receive they do ensure that the recipient won't have to spend the week after Christmas driving around from mall to mall returning unwanted presents.

This year I want to focus more time on the ones I love and less time on the mountain of gifts waiting to be unwrapped under the tree. Let's hope that the recipients of my gifts view Christmas in the same light.

My Final Paycheck Arrived

2011-12-13T22:40:00.001-05:00

When the kind gentleman with the UPS uniform knocked on my door I immediately knew it was a package from my employer. I didn't even need to look at the outside label to make that determination, somehow in my heart I just knew that's who it was from.

As he handed over the envelope I thanked him and wished him a happy holiday. I wanted to say, "you're delivering the details of my layoff", but I simply closed the door behind me and peeled open the package. I was right and wrong. It was a envelope from my employer, (previous employer I guess I should say), but it wasn't the details of my severance package. It was a check. The very last paycheck I should ever expect to receive from them.

I hate to admit it, but I was sad to open that envelope. As I looked down at that piece of paper I thought about the very first paycheck I received from them and how excited I was to start my employment there over twelve years ago.

Although my departure from work is a true blessing, (as I am now able to spend the first six months of my son's life right by his side), I am still disheartened by the way I was let go after all these years. I've had my grievances against that place, but in many ways I feel like I grew up there after college.

Over the years I've realized that I'm not one who likes to say goodbye. In fact, it's probably the reason I worked there so long in the first place, but like it or not that final check certainly put an end to my career there.

Luckily my husband quickly reminded me that continued employment would mean leaving my sweet baby boy all day in exchange for a mind numbing job stuck inside a cubicle. Although I'm still sad about the way things ended that thought certainly put a smile on my face.

In fact, if my employment had not ended I would have been forced to return to work in just two short weeks. With that thought in mind all I can say is thank God I was laid off, because I don't know if I could bear leaving my little one so soon.

Sometimes life has a magical way of working out. Rather than unhappily returning to work or being forced to quit I am actually being paid to stay home for a few months with my child. Although I'm unhappy with the way things ended, deep in my heart I can't imagine parting ways any better.

Maxing Out My 401(k) to the tune of $155,758.87

2011-12-10T23:55:00.001-05:00

I started contributing to my 401(k) in 1999 with my very first paycheck at my very first job straight out of college. Of course, I made such a teeny, tiny salary when I first began working that I couldn't max out my contributions, but in 2002 and 2003 I got really close and in 2004 I finally reached my goal.

• 1999 --- Limit $10,000 -- My Contribution $898.49
• 2000 --- Limit $10,000 -- My Contribution $4042.65
• 2001 --- Limit $10,500 -- My Contribution $6521.03
• 2002 --- Limit $11,000 -- My Contribution $10,452.81
• 2003 --- Limit $12,000 -- My Contribution $11,843.89
• 2004 --- Limit $13,000 -- My Contribution $13,000.00
• 2005 --- Limit $14,000 -- My Contribution $14,000.00
• 2006 --- LImit $15,000 -- My Contribution $15,000.00
• 2007 --- Limit $15,500 -- My Contribution $15,500.00
• 2008 --- Limit $15,500 -- My Contribution $15,500.00
• 2009 --- LImit $16,000 -- My Contribution $16,000.00
• 2010 --- Limit $16,500 -- My Contribution $16,500.00
• 2011 --- Limit $16,500 -- My Contribution $16,500.00

When I added up the numbers I was amazed to see a total of $155,758.87 in savings! I think this is one of the reasons automatic savings is so valuable. You start out small and increase the percentage ever so slightly with every raise and wham twelve years later you wind up with a large chunk of change!

Do You Restrict the Number of Gifts Your Children Receive?

2011-12-06T23:45:00.000-05:00

Our little one will be less than three months old by the time Christmas rolls around this year. However, despite his young age I have a feeling that our families will inundate him with bags full of goodies. While he certainly won't be able to count the number of gifts he receives I don't want to set a precedence for Christmases to come.

I want our son to feel blessed and loved, but I don't think he needs a room full of gifts to demonstrate those two things. I would prefer our families to buy him a small number of presents. Honestly, I'd prefer just one or two. He's simply too young to appreciate most of the items he receives and so small that I fear most of his gifts won't even be played with.

Of course, I also don't want to disappoint our family by asking them to spend less on their new grandson. I certainly don't want to downplay the joy and excitement they have for our son's first Christmas.

My husband and I purchased savings bonds for my niece and nephew until they were five. We always bought them one small gift they could open, typically story books for their libraries.

I certainly don't want to ask my family members to buy them savings bonds, but I would like them to know that we want to limit the amount of gifts our little one receives if possible. I hate to think of all of the money that will be wasted on toys our son will outgrow quickly and/or never play with.

So I'm wondering if any of my glorious readers place a restriction on the number of gifts their children receive from friends and family members. If so, how did you approach your friends and family about your desires?

Also, do you think I'm being a bit crazy about wanting to restrict the number of gifts my son receives? A friend recommended accepting whatever gifts are offered and then donating whatever we feel is excessive. While that might work with a gift received from a distant relative it certainly won't work for family members who see him on a weekly basis and will wonder where his gift is.

Book Review: Shiny Objects

2011-12-02T23:50:00.000-05:00

I couldn't resist a free copy of James A Roberts new book, Shiny Objects: Why We Spend Money We Don't Have in Search of Happiness We Can't Buy. Before the book arrived I was told it "exposes the hidden motivations and erroneous assumptions behind our spending habits and reveals the key to reversing the devastating and ever-increasing effects of materialism in modern culture, showing readers how we can actually increase our well-being by scaling back."

As soon as I saw the description I knew I wanted to read the book. I've written about my own quest to clear out unwanted clutter from my home. To free myself of the overhead associated with owning unnecessary objects and to stop myself from purchasing any items for which we don't have a pressing need.

Since I started clearing out the clutter I've been better able to focus on the things in my life that really matter. I no longer buy things we don't need and I save money and live happier without all that unwanted junk.

Shiny Objects takes you on a historical lesson through the various events through our country's history that have led to the over consumption of stuff. In the book, Roberts divulges with great detail moments in our history that have led Americans to take to the malls in an effort to shop away their troubles and out-consume their neighbors. After completing the historical lesson Roberts focuses the last few chapters of the book on steering the reader away from a consumption based lifestyle in favor of a life better lived.

I enjoyed reading this book, but must admit that I found parts of the historical lesson a bit boring and long. Overall though it was an interesting read, but some of the facts about our country's overspending habits could have been condensed. I must admit that I began to glaze over during some chapters and even skimmed paragraphs rather than reading all of the details. However, I found the book to be quite informative overall and truly enjoyed reading it.

$25 Barnes and Noble Gift Card for $15

2011-12-02T15:48:00.002-05:00

I just bought a $25 Barnes and Noble gift card for $15 through SaveMore. There are a limited number available, so click here if you're interested in snagging this deal.

After Twelve Years My Job Quietly Came to an End

2011-12-01T23:55:00.001-05:00

October marks the fewest posts in a month for One Frugal Girl since 2007. I just haven't been able to find the time to focus on blogging with a newborn in the house. I hope to put the baby on a schedule at some point, but for the time being I've allowed him to dictate exactly how we spend the time in our day.

I have to say I don't regret wasting away the hours with him. In spite of the sleep deprivation these last six weeks have been absolutely amazing and now that he's here I can't imagine a world without him.

In fact, I'm so focused on my new role that I paid little attention to the fact that last week marked my last day of employment. After over twelve years my job quietly came to an end.

I didn't go out for a goodbye lunch and no one contacted me to say good luck or to say our paths may meet again. My email access was cut off weeks ago, so there was no way for anyone to reach out to me.

I didn't spend the day packing up my cubicle and walking boxes to my car. I removed personal belongings from my cube years ago and packed the few items I still had at work months ago. I wanted to make certain my desk was clear long before I went into labor so I brought things home little by little.

I turned in my laptop weeks ago, so I couldn't even send out a farewell email to all the friends I made throughout the years.

I haven't been thrilled with my job for quite some time, but as I look back on my twelve year career I can honestly say I'll always hold a special place in my heart for the company I used to work for. In a day and age where employees don't stick around at a company for more than a few years I took pride in the fact that I worked at the same place for so long.

It's unfortunate that the company is downsizing and that I was forced out of my job rather than voluntarily leaving, but the situation could not have worked out any better. The company perks have been disappearing for years on end, the management is worse than ever and the future of the company as a whole is completely unknown.

Luckily the birth of my son coincided with the end of my twelve year career. Rather than returning to work after only ten weeks of leave I'll have the opportunity to enjoy and truly savor these first few months with my baby.

It seems rather strange that my job is ending this way, but I must admit that I see no better way for the transition to occur. When I walked out of the building a few days before my son was born I had no idea that it was the very last time I would step away from my office.

I never looked over my shoulder or contemplated my past or future journey. I simply slid behind the wheel, turned the radio up and drove home like I did on every other work day. I'm glad that's how it ended.