tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468Tue, 19 May 2026 07:24:53 +0000blairsqotdfamilyphilosophySquinkculture40 Days Of WritingcouragedreamscancergratituderandomfriendsNaBloPoMo2013guiltmotherhooddarefaithlovethoughtsbiopsydeathMomstorytellingpoetryemotionslife is beautifulfoodeuropefacebookmagicpromsearchgentlenessspousemusingsRILMangerbliotdbullfightsempty nestgrain of salthysterectomylife imitates artmemenudereunionscienceArizonaKindnessVolunteerphotographysexwritingSIHSaustriabeinghandmadeinvisiblepreemiessilenceChristmassexismsouth americavulnerableEcuadorHPVHaircutMalcomMediumQuizbreastfeedingcactinon-beingvaccines"Moritz Thomsen"QOTDTTThursday ThirteenangremissionereyejobskiltsmacmorningquiettartanLiving, so the dead don't have to. Site may use cookies so cut and paste these links for more information; https://www.google.com/policies/privacy/ https://www.google.com/policies/privacy/partners/http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Blair)Blogger992125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-3065223622389154696Wed, 23 Mar 2016 06:18:00 +00002016-03-22T23:18:05.042-07:00ArizonaculturegentlenessMediumpoetrySquink My house was built before Arizona was a state.  As such, it has seen so many things and as I go to bed each night I try not to worry about the leaky pipe or the wobbly porch with a hole in it and instead try to concentrate more on what stories it has to tell. This past weekend the grandson of the second owner of our home stopped by for a visit. He grew up in the house and shared http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2016/03/i-am-rancher-at-heart-now-i-have-brand.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2114332865385330974Fri, 26 Jun 2015 23:15:00 +00002015-06-26T16:15:59.453-07:00blaircourageemotionseyefamilyfriendsgentlenessgrain of saltgratitudeguilthysterectomyKindnessMommusingsphilosophypoetrysciencestorytellingvulnerablewriting The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.~St. Jerome   Today I scheduled a follow up eye appointment for October. As I opened up my calendar I realized that the four months would land on the day before I had my surgery, which was when my eye problems started. In the eight months since my life was spared and my body was torn apart in http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/06/messages-from-my-mirror.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-667108136449115328Wed, 20 May 2015 18:31:00 +00002015-05-20T11:32:47.421-07:00beingblairdreamsemotionsfoodgentlenessgrain of saltgratitudelife is beautifulmusingsSquinkI crave PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!!!!! For the past 5 weeks I have consumed at least 10 jars of peanut butter. At least 10 JARS! This is crazy. It is like one of those insane cravings that can't be sated. It has to be smooth - or as they say in peanut butter parlance - "creamy".  Yes, I tried to curb the insatiable craving by buying a jar of the crunchy (or chunky) stuff. It merely slowed http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/05/i-do-not-crave-squirrel-poop.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-7993896246170974584Wed, 29 Apr 2015 18:15:00 +00002015-04-29T11:19:54.287-07:0040 Days Of WritingangerblaircancercouragefacebookgentlenessgratitudeHPVhysterectomyinvisibleKindnesslife is beautifulmusingssciencestorytellingvulnerablewriting There is a certain nervousness and apprehension as I approach my oncology follow up visits. I know to expect the following;  a vaginal exam, a pap smear, and my scar gets a review. I never really thought I would ever blog about these things, but here I am talking all about my girly bits. My oncology center has a pretty new office, it is fancy schmanzy. I was able http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/04/queen-of-my-cancer-domain.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-4956169995656674069Tue, 21 Apr 2015 21:20:00 +00002015-04-21T14:34:52.607-07:0040 Days Of Writingbullfightscancercourageemotionsgentlenessgrain of saltgratitudehysterectomyinvisibleNaBloPoMo2013nudesciencevulnerable  Navigating a cancer diagnosis that has a surgical intervention is pretty complicated. In the case of breast cancer  the mastectomy or lumpectomy scar is right there for you to look at, it is hard to hide from, even in a case where the patient has opted to get reconstruction.  Girly bits, the lower ones, cancer is a little different.  Both breast and cervical cancerhttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/04/tmi.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8467062783312870559Fri, 17 Apr 2015 20:18:00 +00002015-04-17T13:27:15.713-07:0040 Days Of Writingblairbullfightsculturedreamsfamilyfriendsgratitudelife is beautifulmotherhoodphilosophypreemiesthoughtsvaccinesI have to admit, I am currently a little obsessed with TED talks. It all started with this one talk - I think I saw it sometime in the fall of 2008; I was floored, and moved, and thought "what a great way to put things out there". And since this was new I kind of waited to see what it would bring. I made my mother watch it. I sent it to my friends, and have fondly referred to http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/04/tedx-yzpdqbil.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2828205851797639938Thu, 02 Apr 2015 04:55:00 +00002015-04-01T22:27:57.217-07:0040 Days Of Writingangerbiopsyblaircancercouragedreamsemotionsgrain of saltgratitudeHPVhysterectomylife is beautifulloveMommotherhoodmusingsphilosophyvaccinesThis morning was a struggle.  I am trying my damnedest to get this to happen: If you can RSVP for a Phoenix event click here. I struggle because I want it to be successful  The team I am working with has been UNBELIEVABLY supportive... but it is so hard to get buy in from other folks. I struggle with that. But it, my sense of struggling, may have been that I hadhttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/04/day-1-40dow-viewpoints-on-vaccines.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8170609820292183970Mon, 30 Mar 2015 04:04:00 +00002015-03-29T21:04:35.838-07:00biopsyblaircancercouragedreamsemotionsempty nesteuropefamilygratitudehysterectomylife is beautifulphilosophyA year ago, I had sent my son off to Europe and missed him terribly. I think it was the Starbucks app of the week that was a picture a day app. I downloaded it, because; 1) it was free 2) I was thinking about documenting how much I missed my son So, I took the selfie... and time flowed and I stuck to it and yesterday I got a notice that I had taken 365 photos. One year, one insane year. A sonhttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/03/a-year-in-my-life.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-5037810399737183968Thu, 19 Mar 2015 03:47:00 +00002015-03-18T20:47:22.808-07:00ArizonablairculturedreamsEcuadorfaithgratitudeinvisibleKindnesslife is beautifulmagicphilosophystorytellingwritingI grew up in the land of eternal spring... some even called it eternal fall. I never have experienced four strong seasonal changes... usually it was two... but it could even be argued that there was one season unless one counts "more rain" as another season. Ecuador had that... rain and more rain, it was eternal spring, or something akin to the glorious autumn season of the southwestern US. http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/03/a-seasonal-urge.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-4225389411273330240Sat, 14 Mar 2015 18:43:00 +00002015-03-14T11:43:00.155-07:00angerblaircancercouragedeathemotionsgrain of saltgratitudeguiltlife is beautifulrandomsex I am the best at beating cancer. Though in some respects, there was not much to beat. In the end, we caught the cancer so early it was only the size of a grain of salt. Yes, I talked about that before. There are many strange things that happen when that words gets tossed into your life. Trying to make sense of it may be the hardest. In my case, it is managing the whole thing of http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/03/the-fossils-of-dead-superlatives.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8557920773673076120Fri, 13 Mar 2015 18:44:00 +00002015-03-13T11:44:29.656-07:00beingblaircancerdeathemotionsgentlenessgrain of saltgratitudehysterectomymusingsnon-beingphilosophysilencestorytellingthoughtswriting “How are you doing?” I get asked this a lot. I mean a lot more than usual, a lot, a lot. I imagine it is the result of their knowing I was diagnosed with cancer, and with a subsequent surgery. It is an even more complex question to answer now. The nuances of recovery from my surgery are interesting. On one level, I am so incredibly lucky that it is a true cause of celebration. I wonder http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/03/it-was-smaller-than-mustard-seed-or-how.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-786424795393343458Thu, 26 Feb 2015 18:57:00 +00002015-02-26T11:57:19.016-07:00ArizonabiopsyblaircancercouragedaredeathdreamsemotionsfacebookfaithfamilyfriendsgentlenessgratitudeKindnessmusingsphilosophysciencesex “My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that… In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/02/invincible-summers-and-calculated-acts.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8068098195657305466Wed, 18 Feb 2015 22:46:00 +00002015-02-18T15:46:36.410-07:00ArizonabeingblaircourageculturedaredreamsemotionsfacebookfaithfamilyfriendsgentlenessgratitudeKindnesslife is beautifullovemusingsphilosophystorytellingYes, I decided to  come back here. I figured out how to un-subcribe people and did so... I did that because this chronicles my life for the last 10 years.. and a lot has happened. But those ten yea thank you deviantart rs all had my Squink in them. And even when I did not mention him, it happened around him. But it also feels like a new beginning and how wonderful that it coincides http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/02/i-am-back-with-some-calculated-acts-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-3697197237657328001Tue, 17 Feb 2015 20:18:00 +00002015-02-17T13:18:32.591-07:00angerbeingblaircourageculturefacebookfamilyfriendsgentlenessgratitudeguiltinvisiblemotherhoodmusingsnon-beingsearchsilence Oh my, how many times did I play that game as a new mother.... There were countless delights in the delight and giggles of my newborn son. I loved watching my son take his turn,  cover his eyes, and then swiftly moving his hands away. Staring at me, wide eyed, with the expression of "Mom, I was here the whole time", laughing as I pretended that I could not see him. The idea is to learn http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/02/peek-boo-i-cant-seeeeeeeeee-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-4943889931430722349Sat, 31 Jan 2015 00:04:00 +00002015-01-30T17:04:00.104-07:00blairfamilysilencethoughtsNot really... I actually love this place. I am just not happy here right now. I have written in it for over 10 years. It chronicled my pregnancy and the birth of Squink. It watched the early years of his growth and my trying to figure out how to move it out of being a mommy blog into something more. There was the year I tried to love poetry, still don't. There was a feeble attempt at food http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/i-hate-this-blog.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-3611756754755511618Thu, 15 Jan 2015 04:23:00 +00002015-01-14T21:23:23.551-07:00angerblaircanceremotionsfaithfamilylife is beautifulphilosophypreemiesSquinkstorytellingToday I went to a luncheon that was started by a family that lost their son/brother to the ravages of addiction. As I listened to the mother and sisters make impassioned pleas for support, I thought about how I would feel if I lost my son... not just to addiction, but to anything. Considering that I was close enough to that when he was a new born, I felt the mothers anguish. Then as I thought http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/for-childrens-sake.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2628255572067377169Wed, 14 Jan 2015 00:16:00 +00002015-01-13T17:16:00.498-07:00blairlife is beautifulphilosophypoetrythoughts One of the things with the notion of love is that there is a form of reciprocity that is involved  -  and yes, this is a generality… I can already think of instances where love is not expected to be reciprocated. I love heart shaped rocks I love road runners I love Ecuador I can say that I am pretty darn sure none of those love me back, (though I have an internal argument that countrieshttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/poetry-of-deliberate-awkwardness.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2711268663947772284Mon, 12 Jan 2015 23:42:00 +00002015-01-12T16:42:00.045-07:00blaircultureemotionsMediummorningquietrandomsilencestorytellingwriting I am almost always the first to wake up in the house. Usually, I manage to open my eyes before the first of the two alarms I have. I listen to my house. I listen to the street outside my window. I listen to the ping of my automatic coffee maker. I listen to my husband sleep beside me, and I listen to see if my son is waking up in the other room. On rainy days, I listen to the drops of http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/the-language-of-silence.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-4206962026128337420Mon, 12 Jan 2015 05:18:00 +00002015-01-12T09:29:34.586-07:00cultureemotionslovephilosophythoughts Do you remember that TV Show? I mean what is not to love about a show that depicts comedic American love stories using a flugelhorn to highlight it? It made silly out to be the root of romantic love. I actually was only privy to summer re-runs when we would visit the US, but growing up overseas lent itself to think of America as some sort of different place, where EVERYTHING happened http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/love-american-style.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-918576123279745050Fri, 09 Jan 2015 18:34:00 +00002015-01-09T11:55:57.506-07:00angerblaircancercouragedeathemotionsfaithfamilyfoodfriendsgratitudeguiltlife is beautifullovemagicphilosophyspouseSquinkRevisiting 7 I suppose my last post was a bit premature, though it was true. It is amazing how something gentle can shift everything, even if it is only temporary. After my post, I went to a meeting for an organization I belong to. I expected to get lots of hugs and inquiries about my health and my status. I was looking forward to thanking people in person for their kindness, but felt shy abouthttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/revisiting-7-and-then-8-and-perhaps.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-7946456675871057828Wed, 07 Jan 2015 23:43:00 +00002015-01-07T16:43:14.795-07:00angerblaircancercouragedaredeathemotionsfaithfamilyfriendsgratitudeguiltlife is beautifulmotherhoodphilosophyspouseSquinkYesterday was tough, it is a tough spot right now.  In my attempt to find the beauty, I failed... I mean, I had that poem, but I really found it the day before... and the rest seemed average and even hard. It all, life, feels sorta like that - hard.  I feel completely helpless in some ways (some very new ways) because I am just in a state... angry, mad, desolate to name but a few andhttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/life-is-beautiful-6-7.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2977091040162262856Tue, 06 Jan 2015 12:37:00 +00002015-01-06T05:37:00.352-07:00cancerHaircutpoetry “You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body  love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on. Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/my-favorite-line-is-poem-wild-geese.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-2806427200161281377Tue, 06 Jan 2015 04:54:00 +00002015-01-05T22:00:02.982-07:00angremissionerArizonablaircancercouragedaredeathdreamslife is beautifulthoughtsI am kicking and screaming I am angry I lash out I don't know where else this could be coming from damn cancer and so, to try to slay this angry beast, I looked round me trying to find something beautiful. here is what I have... there is a certain kind of light that I have only ever witnessed here in the desert it comes at sunset, in winter it is a light that makes our mountains purple http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/find-beautiful-5.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8141213403147760386Mon, 05 Jan 2015 04:57:00 +00002015-01-04T22:32:36.194-07:00blairdreamsfaithfamilyfriendsgratitudelife is beautifulloveMomphilosophy1. Having my mother, brother, and nephews over for a dinner of Wiener Schnitzel. 2.  A gentle and quiet day in bed, watching Netflix and having my husband make some more surprise Wiener Schnitzel for lunch. Some Wiener Schnitzel being pan fried (photo stolen from Schatzy's "The Facebook" page" - Thank you Schatz 3. Seeing my mom for dinner, drinking a strong margarita with her. http://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/find-beautiful-1-4.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9038468.post-8742131644717182618Sat, 03 Jan 2015 07:29:00 +00002015-01-04T22:31:58.861-07:00blaircancercourageguiltphilosophysearchAt my last appointment my doctor used this word. It should be a joyous word, shouldn't it. Not a question. It was a blow to hear it. As I told a friend, I had somehow thought I was exempt from THAT status.  So, when he dictated his notes and used the term to describe me, I was totally taken aback. It's really hard to navigate this disease, especially when there is no chemo, nohttp://blairnecessities.blogspot.com/2015/01/remission.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Blair)0