Justine's Blog

Bringing in the New Year with One More On the Way!

2019-01-01T08:04:00.002-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! And can I just say, thank god it's finally 2019. Not that 2018 was a terrible year. It's just that with my pregnancy brain, I've been signing every paper and check I write with 2019 this past month and my poor husband had to keep correcting me. Whoops!

Last year was quite a year for us. 80% of it is a complete blur to be honest but the truth is, I left the year feeling like our lives are finally heading onto the right path. We experienced some big changes, especially in the latter part of the year when we made the decision after the Woolsey Fire to close our restaurant. It was not an easy decision by any means, but a necessary one. Both financially and mentally. The fires and evacuations made it financially impossible for us to reopen, but at the end of the day, having a mental break from the stress of running a business has truly been a breath of fresh air. I feel like after years of holding my breath, I have finally been able to breath again. My writer's block also feels lifted suddenly. I'm finally writing songs again and I sat down to write this blog which I haven't done in such a long time.

Life post restaurant has involved my husband for the very first time since I've known him, working a 9-5 job, and I must say, having him home every single night to play with our son is the highlight of my day; even if right now I have to escape upstairs at 5pm every night to avoid gagging from the smell of food in the house. Yay pregnancy. However, I get to hear the endless giggles coming from downstairs and enjoy the perks of them playing "Ghost" before bedtime. Bailey runs into our room screaming "Daddy Ghost!! Daddy Ghost!!" and Gwith makes spooky "oooooo" sounds from down the hall. Bailey cuddles me as tightly as possible as he pretends to be terrified of "Daddy Ghost". It's the cutest game and it's my favorite way to end the day.

Now onto the details about these past few months of pregnancy because after holding it in for three months, I'm just dying to share!

Last year we were in New Zealand when I found out the wonderful news I was pregnant with our second baby. I waited the entire day to tell Gwith the news (which was such a struggle since I hate holding in secrets! Plus Gwith was asking me for days prior if I had taken the test yet!), but that evening, we took Bailey to dinner at Kabuki, the restaurant Gwith and I first met at. When we sat down, I made a toast. I said to Gwith, "To Kabuki. If it weren't for this restaurant, there wouldn't be four of us sitting here today." Gwith looked at me like I was severely confused and said, "No...three." I smiled at him and said, "No, four." The smile that came across his face was wonderful as he realized what I was telling him.

Family Dinner at Kabuki in Stamford Plaza, Auckland

It was impossible to keep it a secret from Gwith's family in New Zealand, as I had already begun having cravings and aversions. The worst craving I had was for bubble gum. You might be wondering why that was the worst craving. I'll tell you. Apparently they don't sell bubble gum in New Zealand...except for the American store that we had to drive out to just to satisfy my craving! Gwith kept getting brand after brand of "bubble" gum, but none of them were bubble gum flavored. They just made bubbles. Obviously, I wasn't having any of that. Unfortunately, my bubble gum craving was also the door to announcing I was pregnant to my brother-in-law's sister. After a family barbecue, she came over to the car to give me a hug goodbye and saw about 15 different types of gum stashed on the side. Either I came clean about my pregnancy or I would've forever been the weird woman with the biggest gum addiction known to mankind. Of course, my first response when she asked about the gum was to sound like a gum addict who needed to go to Gumaholics Anonymous: "Yeah...you know...I just really like gum..." Awkward silence. I couldn't last more than two seconds before spilling the beans after that. There was really no going back. Over the rest of the trip, and since we've been home, if we saw friends or family, we had to tell them I was pregnant. My food aversions were already so strong that it was impossible to hide!

About a month later, after my first doctor's appointment, we told Bailey the news! He yelled out a big "Yayyyyy!!!" and jumped up and down with excitement. Now, every single night he cuddles and kisses my belly and says "I love you baby. Goodnight baby." Even better, I felt the baby's first flutters a few days ago right after Bailey said goodnight to my belly. A mother couldn't ask for more. It's amazing to see the bond he already has with the baby and I'm so excited for him to meet his new sibling this July. He told our friend Sarah that he wants a sister...so I guess time will tell!

Big Brother Bailey is Getting Promoted July '19!

Pregnancy with a toddler around is definitely a different experience than my first pregnancy was. Bailey has been a real champ most days letting me rest (or he's just enjoying his endless Curious George marathon and milking it for all that its worth...). Gwith has been a complete lifesaver and to be perfectly honest, I don't know how Bailey would've been fed if Gwith was still at the restaurant every evening! By night time, my sense of smell is so bad that everything makes me sick and I can't be near any food...which means, Gwith has been preparing Bailey's dinners every single night. The first trimester is coming to a close and I thankfully feel the tide turning, albeit slowly. I finally ate out for lunch yesterday and had an actual meal! Hopefully soon I'll be able to smell food again inside the house so Gwith won't have to keep leaving just to eat dinner. I feel so bad. I've forbid him from eating in the house, sleeping in our bed (yes, his breath even with minty fresh toothpaste breath was grossing me out! Sorry babe!), and using most of the bathrooms in our house. Seriously, my husband is my hero for putting up with me these past few months. It has been a real treat. He finally got to sleep in our bed again last night though so I'm excited that while we didn't kiss at midnight since we were both fast asleep, we did finally share a bed again without me gagging! This year is already starting out great, huh? Unfortunately, I have developed an aversion to the word kitchen and even looking in the direction of our kitchen. And no, this isn't the same as my usual aversion to cooking in there! I'm praying that this aversion goes away very soon because I really can't keep avoiding looking in that direction of the house. Plus, I know Gwith misses cooking already and would love to mess around with some recipes and work on his plans to write a cookbook!

I do feel like this baby is my food soulmate though. Cravings so far have included all of my old favorites including fruit roll ups (which my mom craved when pregnant with me!), strawberry cheesecake, caramel apples, meringues, and cheese dipped in honey. If I could design my dream dessert platter when I'm not pregnant, that would pretty much be it (minus my childhood favorite, fruit roll ups--I don't really need those on my platter as an adult!). Throw on some S'mores and I'd be set. Sadly this baby does seem to hate the thought of chocolate so far so S'more might be where our differences begin.

Happy Holidays from Our Growing Family!

I will be curious to see what this baby's personality and tastes are. Bailey is pretty true to my cravings and aversions. Most of the foods I craved with him are his favorite foods. He likes a variety of music and during my pregnancy with him, I didn't mind listening to most music. This baby is very offended by Gwith's rap music and I actually get nauseous when I hear it! It's a big Taylor Swift fan though, so my music library has been getting lots of play! I also got very nauseous from the smell of paint with Bailey and other then typical nesting feelings, I didn't feel too artsy throughout that pregnancy...and Bailey is definitely not the artsy type, at least not at 3! This time around, I'm pulling out the paint brushes and painting boxes for Bailey! It's like something in side of me is craving arts and crafts. It could be a coincidence because my stress levels are down since closing the restaurant (and I've always loved arts and crafts!), or it could be this baby is already craving the arts. Either way, Gwith may get lucky and I may actually help him paint the nursery this time around!

I'm excited for what 2019 has in store for us! Lots of adventures, much needed family time, and a whole new person entering our lives this July! I hope I can finally get back into blogging more frequently again...at least until July rolls around! With Bailey starting pre-school in one week, I'll finally have two mornings a week free for some quality me time! I'm sure the first few weeks, I'll be frantically trying to cram in everything I've wanted to do for so long, which will result in absolutely none of it getting done! From picking favorite photos from the last two years for an album, editing Bailey's videos, writing songs, writing blogs...or just playing a computer game and zoning out the world for a few hours! It's going to be a hard choice! Or I'll just be sitting on the floor, pregnant and hormonal, crying over my little boy being off to pre-school for the very first time. I'm guessing that will be the most likely scenario. Wish me luck! :)

I also sincerely hope this blog was coherent and not just a big pregnancy-brain ramble!

Two Year Old's Guide to Disney's California Adventure

2017-12-09T07:54:00.001-08:00

Over a year ago, we took our son Bailey on his very first trip to Disneyland and California Adventure after he just turned one. Since then, we took him a few more times until the black out period for passes began over the summer. It's been a while since we had gone and we decided this past week it was time to take him again!

Bailey's First Trip to Disneyland (1 year old)

Our first trip (and all of the ones earlier this year), he was only interested in the characters and had zero interest in the rides. I was curious visiting this time if he would feel differently. Our weariness was partially the reason I chose California Adventure (because it's always less crowded and easier to get around!) and we also chose it because it had two rides that I was hoping he'd love: Monsters Inc and The Little Mermaid.

Both rides, Gwith and I had checked out on our first visit last year and had deemed far to scary for him at the time. We felt because it was dark and they showed scary characters in each ride, that it would be too much for a one year old, and at the time, we thought they'd probably be too scary for the next few years.

Bailey at 1 1/2 Years Old Meeting Winnie the Pooh

Fast forward to a year later. Our son is not afraid of the dark (at this point anyways!)...playing in closets and turning off the lights is one of his favorite things to do! Add on top of that that he is OBSESSED with Monsters Inc and makes "rawring" sounds every chance he gets, we felt he may find the ride more appealing than we once assumed.

Before heading off to California Adventure for the day, Bailey went to his weekly gymnastics class. He burned off a lot of energy and when we got in the car, he napped for most of the drive. Considering he refuses all of his naps now, we were so grateful that he actually slept!

When we arrived, Bailey was joyously pointing at the Minnie Mouse signs in the parking lot. Upon arriving on the tram, Bailey sat in Gwith's lap looking around, looking around and spinning the wheel of the stroller. When the loud speaker came on above, Bailey pointed in awe, looking up, with his jaw dropped. Gwith whispered to him that a person lived in the ceiling of the tram. A look of shock appeared on Bailey's face and then a smile. Every time the speaker came on, Bailey looked in amazement, gasping as though he could hardly believe a voice was coming from the ceiling.

We loaded off the tram and asked Bailey if he wanted to sit in his stroller. He refused of course so we walked hand in hand with him to the park. When we arrived, we walked in circles trying to find a place to eat and after 30 minutes, and stopping at a restaurant to find they only accept reservations at that time (which is bizarre to me for a theme park...), we finally settled for hot dogs at Award Wieners, which pleasantly surprised me with gluten free buns for Bailey and I! Gwith jumped into the long line, while Bailey and I walked around waiting. We walked past some stores where Bailey stopped and pointed continuously at the pictures of the characters he recognized: Ariel, Sebastian, Lumiar, etc. After stopping, I looked back at Gwith to find he hadn't moved an inch in the line. Bailey and I continued our short walk until we suddenly came upon the Monsters Inc ride, which is almost around the corner from Award Wieners. Bailey saw the Monsters Inc logo, pointed with excitement and started dragging me towards the ride. I pulled to the side to drop off the stroller (which he thought meant we weren't going on) and started going "mamamamamama" and "go go go". At this point, I knew we were going to have to go on while Gwith got our food. Luckily, when we arrived at the entrance, the attendant gave us a "Buddy pass", which they apparently give out when there's only two people, and we could skip the line and go around through the back to jump straight on. This was most definitely a godsend between an impatient toddler and a husband who would have food for us any minute! As I walked Bailey to the back entrance, he kept trying to drag me back because he knew that wasn't the "correct" entrance. After convincing him that he was, we entered. We walked onto the ride, sat down, and Bailey looked at me with confusion, excitement, and awe all at the same time. The ride began and a video appeared on the screen about Boo. Bailey pointed with excitement. At that point, I knew, this ride was definitely the right choice. As we continued through the ride, Bailey looked at me periodically with a giant smile on his face. He gasped when he saw Randall and said "uh oh", and continued to watch the ride in amazement.

After the ride was over, we walked to join Gwith at the hot dog's dining area, before heading to the ride for a second time as a family. Of course, this time, because there were three of us, we waited in line.

Waiting in line for Monsters Inc

The line was 35 minutes but Bailey was a real champ for about 20 of those minutes, playing with the chains, tapping on the poles...and the next 10 minutes he got extremely playful and wanted us to drag him around. We ended up going through the last part of the line with him leaning backwards and us dragging him along. That may have been even more fun than the ride to him!

After the ride, we walked to The Little Mermaid ride, stopping for a photo with Clarabelle Cow along the way (once he spotted her there was no turning back!). Ironically, when we came over to take the photo with her, he was a little more weary about her. This was very different from his previous trips when he rushed to cuddle the characters!

We asked him again if he'd like to go in the stroller, and he refused. We tried to put him in (as my own arm was getting tired from him dragging it), and this was probably a big mistake. A tantrum soon ensued. We quickly removed him from the stroller and he cried and screamed as Gwith held him. As we were about to get in line for the ride, he sat on the ground, and cried. We asked him what was wrong and he got up and pointed in the direction of where I dropped off the stroller. Confused, we walked to the stroller. When we got there, he eagerly pointed at the bag of potato chips we had offered him (and he had refused minutes earlier). We took the bag, Gwith put it in his pocket, and Bailey was completely fine again! Who knew all he wanted was for Gwith to carry the bag! Bizarre, I know! In line, Bailey munched on two or three chips and we made it through the line without any tantrums. We went on the ride and Bailey loved this one too! Ursula didn't scare him at all and he grinned from ear to ear every time he saw Ariel.

Afterwards, we headed to the line to meet Woody from Toy Story. We had tried to come earlier but missed him. This time, we arrived at the start of the line! Woody hadn't come out yet and Bailey just stood there playing with us. When Woody appeared, Bailey didn't notice...until suddenly he did, and he tried to dart underneath the rope in record time to run towards him! We stopped him of course, and explained to him he had to wait but it truly was adorable watching his face when he noticed Woody. When we met Woody, Bailey was SO excited, giving Woody fist bumps and kisses.

Gwith, Bailey, Woody, and I

As of this point though, Bailey was getting pretty tired (and still refusing his stroller) so afterwards, Gwith began carrying him. He danced a little with him and then Bailey decided we wanted to see the world from another perspective for most of the walk. At one point, a stranger even said, "Wow! That's so cool! Your kid can bend in half." 😳 He was not wrong. Bailey was somehow leaning himself completely backwards.

We headed to A Bugs Land for a couple more rides, knowing that there would be less lines in this toddler oriented area of the park. Our first stop was Francis' Ladybug Boogie, a version of the well known Mad Tea Party ride, but you don't have control to spin this one. Bailey was unsure as we got on the ride but the second we started spinning, he was grinning from ear to ear. When the ride ended, Bailey sat there saying "more more more!". We told him it was all done and he got off without a fight.

For our final ride, we went on Flik's Flyers. While waiting in line, Bailey saw three other toddlers and naturally thought it was appropriate to make monster "rawring" noises at them. The kids gleefully rawred back. The parent saw their own kid rawr and told them it wasn't nice to scare a little kid, until I told her that Bailey started it. After that, we continued to let our kids rawr at each other for the rest of the line. They were having fun and who were we to stop them? This ride is similar to Dumbo, but you're a little more closed in. Bailey was unsure for most of this ride, although he did smile occasionally.

After the ride, we decided to call it a day. We had been at the park for nearly five hours and Bailey had walked for four of them and had Gwith carry him for one! How his little legs managed to walk four hours, I'll never know!

So here's the breakdown of suggestions if you're taking your two year old to California Adventure for the day:

Be prepared that using the stroller may not be in the cards
If your child is familiar with the movies for dark rides, I suggest taking them on the ride! They're probably going to love it! If they're not familiar, they may find it scary. Of course, if your child is afraid of the dark, avoid avoid avoid.
Spinning rides are a big hit; what toddler doesn't like to spin in circles?
Flying rides may or may not be a good idea! Your little one may still be unsure about this sensation.
Gage your child's feelings about the character actors. Your child may be a little weary or they may absolutely love it.
Make reservations for restaurants if you know what time you're going to be there...or get a hot dog (my husband would probably suggest to steer clear of the many toppings, he wasn't a fan; but my plain hot dog was just fine and the gluten free bun was delicious!)
Bring snacks: Bailey was munching on raisins while Gwith carried him which kept him from trying to leap and bend backwards (at least during the moments he was eating...)
In the end, just try as much as possible to go with the flow: you're at California Adventure and you're there for your little one! It's your kid's special day. Let them have their day and you'll all be much happier for it!

Go. Go. Go. (Because No Matter What, You Have to Try)

2017-11-05T08:15:00.002-08:00

It's been over a year since I wrote a blog on here. It's amazing how fast time moves by. I'm not even sure what I'm planning to write about right now. Part of that may be because I'm sick with a cold and have brain fog, but I think part of it is that there is just too much going on that it's overwhelming and hard to focus on one particular idea.

On the home front, our son is two years old now. He's becoming such a wonderful and intelligent little boy. I couldn't be prouder. His vocabulary is still minimal but he at least has some useful words going for him: "go" seems to be his favorite go-to whenever he wants something. He gets behind me like I'm a train and says "go go go" to lead me wherever he wants to go. He also learned to say "no" a week after turning two. It's amazing how quickly that word happens! I'm particularly grateful he learned the word "bye" on his birthday. Albeit, he said it to a fountain at the Westlake Promenade, but he said it. At least now when our friends leave, he says "bye" instead of "go! go! go!".

Our son on the "go" during his two year photo shoot

Watching him every day reminds me of how carefree life could be. Yet, at the same time, it reminds me that no matter what age you are, things are never easy, and you always think it was easier when you were younger. But that's not really true, is it? No matter how small the situations we used to face seem to us, in comparison to what we're going through now, it was probably just as stressful at the time. When our son throws himself down on the floor over not getting anymore raisins (or a third apple for the day!), I'm sure, in that moment, it's the end of the world for him. It's the most stressful thing he's ever experienced in his life. The difference is, as a two year old, he throws his fit, he cries, and screams, and ten minutes later, he's forgotten about it. He's moved on. It happens time and time again, whether he's refused something or he gets rambunctious and runs straight into a wall accidentally (which he didn't even cry about and I still don't know how!).

The most notable time was when we first moved into our new house. It's two stories and our son had never dealt with stairs before. Our first full day in the house, he decided to try walking down the stairs. And he fell. My heart leaped from my chest in that moment. I caught him halfway down the stairs. He had a bump on his head. He cried. And yet, fifteen minutes later he was running around the house playing as usual and a half hour later, he was crawling back up and down the stairs without fear. (He hasn't tried to walk down since and has become very proficient on them!). I, on the other hand, still hold my breath, two months later, every time I watch him go near the stairs.

So, here's the real question.

At what age did we stop learning to move on? At what age did we decide we needed to stress all day long, otherwise we'd never find a solution for our problems? It happens subconsciously...and I'm sure there are people out there who know how to deal with their stress that this doesn't apply to. However, for the rest of us, I feel like we spend our days floundering going over the many missteps we took and pondering over how to correct them.

As a restaurant owner, I know this is a problem both my husband and I deal with. We spend days, weeks, months...at this point, years, trying to figure out reasons for anything that's gone wrong. Some days, like last night, we're busy. Not just busy. We were packed. But other days, it seems like the entire world is staying home. That may be the most confusing part of all. What makes people decide one night or one week to all come out but then spend days or weeks never coming by? Are we forgotten about? Is our menu not diverse enough? Does our aesthetics lack? Is our service not up to par? Do we need more advertising? How do locals still not know we exist after three years?

Going around from table to table, we constantly get praised on our restaurant. On how perfect everything is. But it often feels like we're still missing something, because if we truly were perfect, we should be busy all the time. Right?

My husband and I took a trip to New York City at the end of September for our anniversary vacation. Actually, we drove from Nashville to Niagra Falls to New York City, but that's a whole other story! The point is, our experience in NYC was eyeopening. At every restaurant we went to (even a 3.5 star Yelp rated restaurant...which is not the same as 3.5 star in Los Angeles) we had tasty food, gorgeous aesthetics, and impeccable service. Their service standards at a 3.5 star restaurant where better than most 4+ star restaurants in Los Angeles. From there, we experienced two Michelin star restaurants: The Musket Room (which is the only other New Zealand fine dining restaurant in the USA) and Le Bernardin, the top restaurant in NYC and voted #2 in the world. At The Musket Room, we dined in a rustic fine dining space, similar in size to our own but full of personality. It was inviting, intimate, and instantly set off romantic vibes in your head. Brick walls gave off the old New York vibe, completed with soffit lighting and rustic wood paneling on the ceiling. When we arrived, the host stood at a music stand by the entrance. Once seated, we were handed our custom menus for our set menu, complete with a wax seal. Our server was constantly waiting on us, bringing our wine pairings and explaining them to us. He was knowledgable and friendly. The food was delicious, and Gwith truly felt like he was back in New Zealand by some of the flavors that Matt Lambert showcased.

When we went to Le Bernardin, it was at a different level than we've ever experience in our entire life. Upon arrival, Gwith had to get a suit jacket because jackets are required inside the restaurant. We sat in the cocktail lounge, waiting for our table, and took a look at the cocktail list. Gwith quietly mentioned to me, "I don't have my glasses," as it's hard for him to read a menu without them. Low and behold, the host walks up next to him with a box of temporary reading glasses in three different prescriptions. Wow. Mind blown. After we ordered our cocktails, we were escorted to our table where I was provided a stool to set my purse on. The aesthetics were nice, with wood paneling and lighting accents throughout. I definitely preferred The Musket Room's rustic feel. Although the check was ironically higher at The Musket Room (albeit it's family owned so it makes complete sense!), it felt like anyone could dine there for a romantic evening out. Le Bernardin you could tell was meant for only the wealthiest of New York City. To clarify that statement though, the service was not snobbish in any way. It just felt like Chuck Bass's father could be at a nearby table having a billion dollar business meeting. (That's a Gossip Girl reference! My latest Netflix guilty pleasure after my son is asleep each night!) The service was exceptional. Our servers and bussers were friendly and the kitchen staff made certain to attend to all of my allergies. There was not a single misstep the entire meal and I am still dreaming about the tasting menu we experienced. I would dine here again in a heartbeat.

Dining at Le Bernardin in NYC

We left our trip with a new vision. What we want to achieve is not out of our reach. Our restaurant definitely needs some refurbishing...our outdoor patio has already been fixed up with an array of beautiful plants. We look at it now and think, "Wow. This was incredibly bare before. How did we not notice it?" We are in talks with a designer to redo our restaurant's interior. Change the lighting, bring a more rustic fine dining vibe, and all around give personality to our interior, so our aesthetics match our food. Our plates have all been upgraded to stoneware, leaving behind the outdated white plates. We have blankets arriving for cool winter nights on the patio and reading glasses for those who forgot their own, because it's the little things that wow us. And we want to wow you. We are also proud to announce we have an amazing new front of house manager, Jillian, coming on board to bring a level of service that we so far have only seen in NYC.

Aroha's new on site herb garden at our outdoor patio

The problem is, being cooped up at our own restaurant for three years, we've been unable to observe or keep up with what other fine dining establishments are doing. And to be completely honest, there is only one fine dining restaurant in Los Angeles that I can think of that provides even near the same level of service as NYC, and that's Ocean Prime in Beverly Hills. Their service is consistently wonderful no matter which city you're located in. All in all though, Los Angeles has yet to do what NYC is doing.

But we're going to change that. If we continue down the path that we're aiming towards, you should be getting a taste of the NYC treatment right here in Westlake Village, California.

Change is coming.

This whole experience has been a rollercoaster for us. It's exciting and it's terrifying all at once. I feel like we're constantly taking leaps of faith to achieve our dreams and constantly letting our fears hold us back. Some changes we made early on were for the wrong reasons. Out of fear. Changes like trying to offer prices that competed with a local chain restaurant. Prices that did not cover our food (imported, fresh, and organic!) and labor costs. Prices that made it impossible for us to ever reach a profit. Or trying to offer mainstream food items like a burger on our fine dining menu (what were we thinking?). It didn't bring any customers our way by riding on the coattails of our fears. However, the second we started trying to make the food we wanted to make, our restaurant already began to improve. And that food isn't even showcasing my husband's incredible talents. His stress and fear holds him back from trying creative and exciting new items, and yet, every time he does, we improve. The problem with being a restaurant owner is that you spend almost 90% of your time focused on fear. It keeps you from leaping for your goals and showing the world what you can do. Sometimes, it feels impossible. Most times, fear has the complete opposite effect and instead of propelling you to make improvements, it makes you lose focus and fall behind.

New dessert collaboration by Gwithyen Thomas and Custom Cupcakes By Sarah:

Sarah's Chocolate Implosion Cupcake

Maybe some people find it ludicrous to try over and over again. I'm sure some people would've thrown in the towel by now. I won't lie: there have been plenty of moments where it just feels easiest to give up. Most times though, instead of giving up, you just need to reach a little (or a lot) further. You need to put aside your fears and go all in. You need to get up from the floor, wipe your tears, and head back up the stairs because maybe next time, you won't fall down. Maybe next time, you'll get to exactly where you want to be, completely unscathed.

Don't stop dreaming. Don't stop believing. Don't stop reaching for your goals. Not until you know you've done everything in your power to try. Then, no matter what happens, you know you gave it your all and at the end of the day, isn't that what's most important? Leaving behind the what ifs and the I should'ves, and instead (using our son's favorite word to get what he wants),

GO for it.

Our One Year Old's First Trip to Disneyland

2016-11-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

Before taking our one year old, Bailey, to Disneyland, I did A LOT of research. I read every blog post and every forum. Stories of other parents who took their one years old and stories of other parents who said that you should never take your child until they're at least three or even five!

The fact is, if you're considering taking your little one to Disneyland, only you will know if it's right for your child. Our son gets bored when at the zoo, loves stimulation, and is generally very happy. At one, he was already walking for three months, so the most complex part of the trip was his want to walk. While in the parks, he stayed in the stroller but he walked around whenever we were at the hotel.

First of all, even though we're from Southern California and could've just driven down for the day, we decided to stay at The Grand Californian Adventure Hotel for a few nights to make the days as smooth as possible. I couldn't have asked for a better hotel to stay at! It was incredibly convenient to the parks, allowing us to go in and out whenever our son needed to stretch his legs or whenever we wanted a little down time.

Napa Rose

On Sunday, my father and I drove down with my son, and my husband, who was busy at our restaurant for the day, drove down late to meet us. Our first night, we ate at Napa Rose, the hotel's fine dining restaurant. Upon arrival, we waited in the lounge for our table to be ready and we let Bailey walk around. Because we're restaurant owners, he's so comfortable walking around restaurants in general...maybe a little too comfortable! He walked off to each individual table waiting in the lounge, stopped, and waved. What can I say, he's a people person! Being gluten-free (and having a list of many other allergies), I always worry that I will have trouble finding food. My son is gluten-free as well. At Napa Rose, we had absolutely no problem and had a delicious meal. Bailey, who's tastes are ever changing, had gluten-free spaghetti with marinara sauce and cheese. He gobbled it down and enjoyed himself immensely. He also shared some of my dad's short rib and my lamb. When he started to get ancy, Bailey occupied himself by flirting with two women at the table across from us.

On Monday morning, we went to our first (out of three) Character Dining experience at Disney's PCH Grill at Disney's Paradise Pier Hotel. The hotel is located right across the street from The Grand Californian (about a five minute walk). Bailey has been watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for months now so he recognizes the characters. At the beginning of breakfast, before being seated, we got to take a picture with Mickey Mouse. He was a little unsure about the giant Mickey at first...definitely hesitant! However, once we were seated for breakfast, he started to really warm up to the experience. Pluto came by the table first and he played with Pluto's whiskers a little before going back to eating. His tune suddenly changed drastically once Minnie Mouse arrived at the table. I'm pretty sure it was love at first sight! His entire face lit up and he kept reaching out for her.

Bailey and Minnie Mouse

After that, he was chasing after all the characters, including Stitch (who I personally find a bit scary!), and photo bombing other peoples photos with Daisy Duck! What can I say? He was a bit too quick for us sometimes! On the way out, we stopped by to see Mickey Mouse again and this time, he was having a wonderful time interacting with him. As far as Character Dining experiences go, I'd rate Disney's PCH Grill a 9/10. The food was great and the characters were a lot of fun to interact with. They truly spent as much time as they could at each table, despite being a very busy restaurant. The only reason I can't give this experience a 10/10 is because the next one stole the show for us!

Bailey and Mickey Mouse

After breakfast, we walked to Disneyland and went to the Winnie the Poo ride. This is where it was definitely my mistake. I've never been on it before and went off of recommendations online saying little ones will like it. Bailey was scared of the dark on the ride, as well as the scary noises. I would not recommend this ride at all at this age unless your child isn't phased by these things. Gwith and I kept clapping and saying "Yay!" throughout the ride to try to keep him calm. He never full on cried because of this but he definitely wasn't happy.

After the ride, Bailey fell asleep in his stroller. This is, of course, where having a grandparent along for the trip really comes in handy! My dad watched Bailey while Gwith and I went on the Roger Rabbit ride. It was a 30 minute long wait but we got lucky...when Gwith went to get fast passes for us, he found two that someone else had left. So we ended up getting on the ride straight away. When we got off, Bailey had just woken from his nap and was ready for a snack.

Side Tip: While Disneyland may say that you can't bring food into the park, security has no problem with you bringing in a couple of small snacks. We brought in cheerios and a clementine for Bailey.

First time on Dumbo

After Bailey munched on some cheerios, we took him to Mickey's House to meet Mickey Mouse once again. While waiting in line, Bailey enjoyed the cartoon they played on the screen. He was even giggling at parts! He had a wonderful time playing with Mickey Mouse again for the photos. We were all hungry afterwards but lunch was the only meal I did not make reservations for. I wasn't sure what Bailey's schedule would look like during the day and wanted to play lunch by ear. We stopped at Redd Rockett's Pizza Port. I had read online they had gluten-free pizza and gluten-free pasta. Unfortunately, they did not have the pasta. Bailey ended up having his first taste of junk food by eating a slice of my pizza! It's not something I'd normally do but unfortunately, without a reservation in Disneyland, you're not left with much options. He did eat a banana as well. After lunch, we went to Dumbo. While waiting in line for 15 minutes, we occupied Bailey's time by playing with him a lot. I also put him down to stand a few times and walk when the line would move. When we were on Dumbo, he was unsure about the ride but warmed up to it and started clapping part way through. I would definitely recommend Dumbo! I'm guessing if he went on the ride a couple more times, knowing what to expect, he'd really love it. After Dumbo, we went to the Mad Tea Party. Bailey didn't hate it, but he also didn't love it.

We didn't get to go on It's a Small World because it was closed while being refurbished for the holidays. I'm pretty sure he would've loved it because he loves music...but we'll have to try it another time!

Afterwards, we walked around the park and Bailey dosed for another nap. He took a very long nap this time and slept through our dinner at Cafe Orleans! During dinner, I was able to eat their salmon salad and have their french onion soup. I really enjoyed the soup, but out of our meals this trip, Napa Rose was definitely still my favorite.

After dinner, Gwith took my dad on a ride that neither of them had ever been on before and they knew absolutely nothing about...Hyperspace Mountain. That's right. Gwith had no idea it was rollercoaster! While they were on the ride, Bailey woke up from his nap and snacked while we waited. When the two of them got off the ride, they looked like they were in shock...and not feeling very well since they had just eaten dinner! I'm pretty sure that's the last time my dad lets Gwith talk him into a ride! Afterwards, we headed back to the hotel and went to the Storyteller Cafe, where Bailey ate dinner and I enjoyed a gluten free brownie for dessert.

The next morning, we went back to the Storyteller Cafe (located at our hotel) for our second Character dining experience with Chip n' Dale! This experience also included Pluto and some giant bear (who again, I personally found scary looking!). Because the characters at this experience aren't as popular, it was by far the least crowded of all three experiences!

I'm honestly not even sure how I can describe this experience. It was nothing short of magical. Bailey fell so in love with the two chipmunks...I'm actually convinced he would've taken them home with us if he could've! When Chip arrived at the table, Bailey was instantly drawn to him, giving him endless cuddles and kisses.

He liked the bear and Pluto as well, but nothing could compare to his affection for Chip and Dale! About ten minutes after Chip left, he came back for more cuddles...and then Dale came over to join! Before we knew it, Bailey was being tickled and cuddled by both of them and was laughing hysterically! He was over the moon by this experience and part of me wants to drive down to Disneyland on a monthly basis just so he can do this breakfast again and again!

As we were leaving the restaurant, Dale came running up to us to wave goodbye to Bailey and give him an "Honorary Disneyland Citizen" button. All in all, this dining experience rates a 10/10 because the characters were incredibly friendly and were able to spend ample time with the tables.

After breakfast, we headed through the hotel's private entrance to the California Adventure park. I've never been to this park before and truthfully, it became a quick favorite! The crowds were minimal and there were plenty of rides to go on with minimal wait times (less than five minutes!). While Bailey took his late morning nap, Gwith and I went on the Grizzly River Run! As a rollercoaster hater and a water ride fanatic, I was in love with this ride. It was a hot day too, so getting splashed with water was definitely very much appreciated! We didn't get soaked the first time on the ride...but Gwith got drenched when we back on in the late afternoon! So it's definitely a gamble!

Bailey didn't end up going on any rides at California Adventure. He was just enjoying strolling around the park...We did take him to meet Toy Story's Woody, which he did enjoy, although it was hitting 90 degrees outside and Bailey was far more interested in holding a cold water bottle than interacting! Who could blame him?

California Adventure

My dad spent a lot of time playing with Bailey (or walking around while Bailey napped), while giving Gwith and I the chance to enjoy a few rides. I'm a huge Little Mermaid fan so I'm not going to lie, I absolutely loved the ride. If it wasn't for the darkness at the beginning and the scene with Ursula, I'm pretty sure Bailey would've liked this ride too because of the music. After Winnie the Poo though, we've decided to wait a couple years for Bailey to go on any rides that get dark...however, I definitely thing he'll be ready for this ride long before he's ready for the Winnie the Poo ride! While Bailey was awake, we walked along the Boardwalk where Gwith and my dad played quite a few games and won Bailey a few stuffed animals. Bailey had fun watching the games being played and just relaxing.

I truly think that's the best thing about California Adventure. It's much easier to relax and walk around without feeling claustrophobic or overwhelmed by crowds. Not too mention, the rides are great!

Gwith and I decided to go on the Radiator Springs Racers, which had an hour long wait, but also offers a Single Rider line with no wait. We went in the single rider line and managed to be put in the same car (just different rows). I had a lot of fun on this ride and told Gwith that as far as the drops were concerned, this was probably the max I could take! We also went on Soarin' (which we did at Disneyworld on on our honeymoon), and loved it.

For lunch, we headed back to the hotel and ate at Storyteller Cafe. Afterwards, Bailey walked around the hotel lobby and walkway outside the restaurant. He had a lot of fun waving at all of the people walking around and exploring the grounds! I already was pleased with the convenience of this hotel to the parks, but this solidified it. It was a great way to break up the day and let Bailey safely roam!

When we returned to the park, we went on a couple more rides and in the future, we definitely plan to take Bailey on Flik's Flyers and Heimlich's Chew Chew Train. We went on Heimlich's Chew Chew Train during the evening and while as adults, it's probably the most boring ride you could ever imagine, I believe it would be a great first ride for little ones. There is nothing scary (or one could argue, interesting) about this ride and it stays outdoors.

For dinner, we went to the Carthay Circle Restaurant, which was nice and fairly accommodating for my allergies, however, the meal I received was pretty simple once all of my dietary issues were taken into account. Napa Rose still wins by a landslide! That being said though, Disneyland and California Adventure are very accommodating for allergies and no matter what, you will find something you can eat.

Us at Goofy's Kitchen

On Wednesday morning, before heading back home, we went to our final character dining experience at Goofy's Kitchen, located at the Disneyland Hotel. To be honest, unless Bailey becomes a big Goofy fan when he's older, I would never go to this experience again. It was incredibly crowded and the characters weren't friendly. They breezed by each table for a quick photo and hardly any interaction at all. While the Chip n' Dale experience was uniquely personal because of the lack of crowds, I could easily compare this crowd to that at Mickey's PCH Grill breakfast. Both were crowded yet the Mickey breakfast was far more engaging. The food at this buffet was lacking as well. All in all, I was not impressed by this experience and we will not be going back.

For us, taking Bailey on this trip was a fantastic experience and definitely worth it! This time around, I'd say the rides were more for Gwith and I but the character dining experiences were a big win for all of us! That said, you are really the only one who can judge if this trip is right for your little one. If you can, I'd definitely recommend taking a grandparent along as a helping hand!

In summary, here's my ranking of character dining experiences and restaurants in general:

Napa Rose at Grand Californian Adventure Hotel: great food & very accommodating; fine dining but still kid friendly.
Storyteller Cafe at Grand California Adventure Hotel: If your little one doesn't care which character he/she is meeting, this is the friendliest and most personal experience you'll receive. The breakfast food was good as well. We also dined here for dinner and lunch and enjoyed all of our meals.
PCH Grill at Paradise Pier Hotel: The breakfast buffet was wonderful and the characters were very friendly and personable.
Cafe Orleans at Disneyland Theme Park: the food was decent (although I prefer Blue Bayou if you can get a reservation!)
Carthay Circle Restaurant at California Adventure Theme Park: the design of the restaurant is an experience all in it's own and the food is enjoyable, as well as the drinks. This restaurant is definitely the least kid friendly of all the ones we visited. There was a definite vibe from some customers that they weren't happy a baby was in the restaurant, even though Bailey is very well behaved and this restaurant is located in a kid friendly theme park!
Goofy's Kitchen at Disneyland Hotel: Honestly, I didn't even want to list this here because it's such a vast difference from the other five restaurants I listed. This was not an enjoyable character dining experience at all and the food was lackluster.

I hope this post helped in your decision about taking your little one to Disneyland for the first time! Remember to just relax and go with the flow! That will always make the experience a blast no matter what!

Our 5 Year Wedding Anniversary and Aroha's 2 Year Anniversary!

2016-09-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

To say these last five years have been a journey would be a tremendous understatement. Never in my life have I had a time that has been filled with so much love, change, determination, stress and joy. Today, it is five years since I married the love of my life, Gwithyen Thomas. In the years since, we moved states (well, he moved countries first!), started a business (Aroha's two year anniversary is next Saturday, September 10th!), started a family, and all around grew as people and as a couple. Throughout our most stressful times, I never once forget the vows I made that day. I vowed that through the good times and the bad, I would keep falling deeper and deeper in love with him. And even if somedays I feel like a basket case from our daily stresses or I'm going crazy from the same ridiculously silly jokes he loves to tell time and time again, I never stop falling more in love with him. The most beautiful thing about a marriage is that you never stop learning about each other because every day, something new happens that continues to affect how you think, how you act, how you feel, and who you are.

This week, I have had the pleasure of re-watching footage from our engagement interview. I edited it into short clips to release to family and friends and it has been a wonderful trip down memory lane, bringing me back to the very beginning of our beautiful romance. When we named our restaurant Aroha, we named it in honor of not only our love for two beloved family members who passed away, but also because no word could better describe us as a couple. Today, I'm excited to share with you the long distance love story that inspired our restaurant. Enjoy the clips below!

As for our restaurant's two year anniversary, please start making your reservations now for an evening of wining and dining, complete with wine and canapés on our front patio from 4pm-6pm and a Chef's Table during our dinner service. Gwith has been excitedly working on our fall menu and is planning to showcase a dish or two from it in his Anniversary Chef's Table, giving you the first chance to taste one of his new upcoming dishes!

We look forward to seeing you there and celebrating with you!

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30990 Russell Ranch Rd Unit C, Westlake Village, CA 91362
© 2015 Aroha Restaurant.

I'm a Helmet Baby Mom!

2016-06-29T10:57:00.000-07:00

It was ten weeks ago when we found out our little boy would have to be fitted for a helmet. In the months of physical therapy leading up to that decision, I kept thinking to myself, "His head will round out. He won't need a helmet. He'll be fine." Then the day came that his physical therapist said he should be evaluated. We waited a couple of weeks to first visit with his doctor. We were shocked when his doctor exclaimed something alongs the lines of, "Oh my god! Have you had him fitted for a helmet yet? His head shape is not right. This will not fix itself."

Bailey a week before his helmet fitting (Photo by Monkey & Peas Photography)

Devastated, I looked up photos of babies with helmets and sat in despair. I didn't want my baby wearing one of those. What would other people think? Would they think there was something wrong with him? Would they think that I did something wrong with him? That I somehow did something to him that caused him to wear a giant band around his head? My fears of being looked at like I was a bad mom were quickly flooding in.

Then came time for his appointment. We walked into the office, nervous about the events that were going to unfold. During his free evaluation, we kept being reminded about how imperfect his face was. How is eyes weren't symmetrical, how one ear was much farther back, how his head was protruding in various spots. On the drive home, my husband had to stop for a box of tissues because I couldn't stop crying. I don't think there's anything worse on this planet then hearing someone tell you how wrong your baby is.

His next appointment, I went with a brave face. I realized this had to happen and there was no choice. The appointment, however, nearly destroyed me. I had made my peace (as much as I could at the time!) with him wearing the helmet. However, when being measured for it, they had to take pictures of his head. To do this, they took a breathable netted fabric and pulled it over his head. The trauma of seeing his face like that still sends chills up and down my spine. He of course, wasn't bothered by it at all. He didn't care. He was his usual happy-go-lucky self, smiling away.

The day we arrived for him to be fitted, I sat in the car on the drive, mourning our cuddle times that would be undoubtably affected by his new helmet. I was sad over the pictures I'd have of him with a helmet on his head, not looking at all like himself. I was worried over if he would be bothered by wearing the helmet on his head. I sat there, fingers crossed that he wouldn't need to wear it too long. My husband, who was equally nervous but far more collected then me, tried to reassure me and calm my fears.

At the offices for his helmet fitting

When we arrived, we sat down in the room, waiting for them to bring the helmet in. My husband put Bailey into a toy car in the room and started riding him around. Bailey was so happy and having a wonderful time. After about five minutes, the woman came in with his helmet. She was a very nice lady, not at all like the other, more critical, people we had met on previous visits. As she fitted the helmet onto Bailey, I realized that nothing could ever take away my baby's adorableness and happiness. He was still the exact same baby I've always known and loved. Truthfully, I had built it up to be far worse than it is. He didn't even notice it was there as he climbed over my husband's lap and head dived onto the floor. He let out a cry, as his head hit the ground, almost as if he expected it to hurt. I say this because that was the last time he head dived with his helmet on and cried! The helmet has definitely had a wonderful bonus of protecting him while he learns new skills!

From the moment the helmet was put on his head, I felt relieved. Knowing that my fears were unfounded was a wonderful feeling. He was happy, he was still adorable, and even though I read stories that I wouldn't be able to cuddle him, I could still cuddle him as much as I always have.

A week after Bailey got his helmet!

It's been five and a half weeks since he first got his helmet and he is doing wonderfully. The weeks have zoomed by and he should only be wearing it for another month and a half at the most. Since he got the helmet, I've found that the majority of people actually know exactly what it is! On occasion, I have had to explain it to people, but it feels good to know I'm able to inform more people about what a baby helmet is for.

The first couple of days while Bailey adjusted to the helmet, he sweat like crazy and woke up back and forth throughout the night from some minor discomfort. For any other helmet baby mom's out there, just know that this did not last long! After the first week, he began sleeping through the night and has been sleeping from 8pm-8am most days. Of course, every baby's sleeping pattern is different, but rest assured, the helmet will not affect your baby's chances of sleeping through the night!

Bailey cuddling up to me during playtime

I'm not going to lie, I am looking forward to Bailey having his helmet removed. Not for any of the reasons I feared. However, the helmet sometimes tips into his eyes and I have to readjust constantly and feeding him his bottle can be quite a pain as the helmet is constantly sliding...to the point I've started just removing the helmet for those 10 minutes to make it easier on myself! I look forward to pulling clothes over his head without the extra step of taking the helmet off and putting it back on.

I know first hand how terrifying the process of getting your baby a helmet can be. The fear of judgement... But lets face it, as a new parent, it's easy to worry that people will judge your every move. The fear of thinking someone will tell you that you did something wrong is very real. But rest assured, while plenty of people judge about feeding jarred food vs. homemade food, breast feeding vs. bottle feeding, watching TV with your baby vs. keeping the TV always off, etc, very few people (if any!) are judging over the helmet. It's purpose is to help your baby's head shape correct itself. It may be purely cosmetic, but a irregular head shape can affect various things in their future, all the way down to wearing a pair of sunglasses one day!

If you are reading this because your baby will soon be wearing a helmet, I hope this helped you! Please know that there are other people with the same fears and worries as you. That we all get stressed over the idea of our baby wearing a helmet. However, just as my baby is okay, so will yours. And the good news is, you'll be just fine too.

The Aftermath (I Will No Longer Be a Victim)

2016-02-10T08:25:00.000-08:00

I decided to write my last blog (read "The Untold Story of a Choice That Revealed Everything") with the knowledge that it would end all contact for me with those family members. Funny enough, all my blog did was talk about my true experiences and my personal feelings. But I knew. I knew that while they were okay with expressing their own feelings and their own versions constantly, that they wouldn't accept that my version was finally put out there. Interestingly, they then decided to end their relationship with my sister as well, who, while supported my decision to do what I needed to do for myself, wasn't even sure she shared the same sentiments as me, and who I made no mention of in my previous post.

My amazing family.

Maybe they wonder why I released it publicly? I can answer that very simply: every time our families have ever had a private conversation, we've been victimized and bullied. I wasn't going to stand for that anymore.

The best way to help yourself overcome a bully is to get support from others and to not live in the shadows.

That is why I decided to handle the situation the way I handled it. I refuse to be verbally attacked once again. I refuse to hear them voice their opinions while they never listen to me voice mine. I refuse to listen while they insult my family and myself. This was the only way my voice would ever be heard.

With my husband at San Diego
Comic Con for my former job.

I've never taken an opportunity like this one before. When my former boss bullied me and forced me to work 100 hour work weeks, which resulted in the carpal tunnel I now live with every day, I left my job, feeling guilty and apologetic. This boss constantly told me how weak I was, and I believed him. I let him demolish me every day as he tried to tear me away from my family. He would spend his days belittling my work ethic and telling me I was immature for wanting a weekend off, even after working 16 hour days for two weeks straight (all while he refused to pay me overtime). He would also tell me not to speak to my husband about my stresses, and make scathing comments about my other family members behind their back. At the time though, I couldn't stand up. I couldn't say to him, "This is wrong." He tried to break apart my family and constantly criticized how close we were, and yet, I couldn't defend them. And that made me feel terrible. I've lived with the guilt of that for some time. Never standing tall and never saying, "I've had enough." I let him bully me until I was too weak to believe in myself and those I care so deeply about.

Surround yourself with the people who
love you.

When you're mentally bullied, you constantly expose yourself until there's nothing left.

It's a long process that sometimes isn't even obvious to the person being bullied, until it's too late. But the fact is, it's every bit as dangerous as being abused physically. Some days, whether the abuse was from my former boss or my former relatives, I would find it hard to get out of bed. They all made me feel worthless, despite how many other people in my life care about me.

Over the years, I was constantly reminded of how unimportant I was to these people. Every time I heard that my grandparents would take an hour and twenty minute drive to Malibu regularly for a charity, or a four hour drive to Las Vegas, it drove a dagger through my heart. Why was it that anytime my family invited them to visit they would constantly complain about how long the hour and fifteen minute long drive was to visit us? And then if they did visit, they'd only be able to stay a couple of hours around lunchtime before claiming they had to head back before the traffic got bad? Yet, their last visit up this way, when we were given no notice and already had lunch plans (so therefore couldn't see them), they made sure to stay for dinner with a friend, only minutes from our house, and told us such after they returned home. Had we known they could stay in the valley past 3 PM, we would've made sure to see them after our lunch plans were done.

In some ways, I just got used to being treated as a granddaughter they felt obligated to see. However, as a new mother, I realized that I never wanted my son to grow up feeling the same way. The last time my grandparents visited, my grandfather turned to my mom, while standing in front of me, and said, "It was special having grandchildren. But there's nothing special about having a great-grandchild."

Nothing special.

The bond between my son and his
amazing grandparents is what every child
should have. (Pictured: My father and my son)

How on Earth could he possibly say that? My son means absolutely everything to me and to hear my grandfather, who I diluted myself into thinking loved me, say that my child was "nothing special", absolutely killed me.

Already, they had tried to take a piece of my incredibly special relationship with my husband away from me. I will never let them touch my relationship with my son. Never.

For once in my life, I finally decided to say, "Enough." I finally decided that I wouldn't let others affect my emotional stability or the emotional stability of those I care about. I've done it for far too long and I'm done with it now.

Stand up for yourself. Believe in yourself.

Whether it's a boss, family, "friends", or some random acquaintance, don't let them demolish who you are. You are worth so much more than that.

The Untold Story of a Choice That Revealed Everything

2016-02-07T07:05:00.000-08:00

It was less than 5 years ago that I was sitting around the kitchen table trying to figure out who to invite to my small wedding. There were people who I knew had to be there. My best friend who lived in Virginia at the time was one of them. I hadn't seen her since 5th grade but we emailed almost weekly (or monthly as our lives got busier) ever since. Some family members like my grandparents were an obvious certainty. Then came the time to cut the list.

Who did I want to be there? Who did I think would care to be there?

As I sat there, I thought back to the previous 17 years of my life since my family had moved to Colorado. Which family members had I talked to? Which family members had constantly tried to remain in contact with me? The answer? Almost none of them. It suddenly dawned on me that in 17 years, not one of them had even walked in our front door. Yet in the early years after moving, my family would always visit California to visit them. The reverse though...no. That never happened. In large part, that's why my family stopped visiting as I grew up. They felt the effort was never being made on the other end. Happy birthday phone calls and cards never existed nor did just an occasional chat to check in.

At the age of 3, you don't choose who's in your life. They choose you and by the time you're old enough to make your own decisions, it's nearly impossible that you'll think about these people as more than a name.

So when I sat down and contemplated who to invite, I created a category in my mind for relatives closest on the family tree that I wish I had gotten to know. These were the people I'd seen occasionally when my family would visit. This cutoff led me to not invite a family member and his wife that I had only remembered briefly meeting twice. There was nothing malicious about my decision. I honestly didn't see why this person would even care to be at my wedding. They had never contacted me before...so why would it matter now?

Looking back, I sometimes wish I didn't even invite some of the family members from this side of the family that I had, at the time, wished to get to know. There's one I'm still glad I invited. Throughout her preteen and teenage years, she'd message me to chat and constantly talk about wanting to visit. I'm sure she had no idea, but this meant so much to me. In a world where I thought the majority of my relatives didn't care, she was the only one who was constantly trying to reach out. I still wish I'd get a chance to know her, but sadly, it seems unlikely now.

After I sent off the invites, it was only a matter of days until the outrage began. I received the first email from my uncle (probably in my entire lifetime), telling me that I was an inconsiderate person and that I was lying about only inviting relatives I had been in contact with. He then called out the names of two relatives that were invited that he presumed I didn't speak to. Funny enough, these more "distant" relatives in his eyes, had visited multiple times in the recent years and emailed us back and forth. But looking back, maybe I was being a hypocrite. Not for inviting these "distant" relatives, but for inviting my uncle in the first place. After all, how much had I seen him either? A few more times I suppose then the relative that didn't make the cut off, but not by much.

How much had he ever tried to get to know me when I was a child? Not at all. For some reason at the time though, it somehow seemed important to me to get to know my uncle.

Ironically, through this battle amongst the family, the only person who never spoke out was the uninvited relative. He was going on a cruise during my wedding and I hope he had a blast. I'd much rather that he be somewhere enjoying himself than at the wedding of a stranger. Sending him an invite would have only made it seem like I wanted a gift... And why should I get one from someone I don't know? I shouldn't.

It's five years later and the drama this unraveled still looms in the air. Every year for my anniversary, I try to no end to make it special because my grandparents and my uncles took away a piece of my wedding day that I'll never get back. They made the memory a tainted one. I'm sure some of them may even be smiling knowing that. "She deserves it." "It was her choice." But it wasn't. It was never my choice to be dumped by my family when I moved states at 3 years old. It was never my choice to not hear from any of you. It was never my choice to be ignored because of whatever underlying issues that were within the family.

About half a year after my wedding, I visited my grandparents, who were still angry about my decision. As I tried to explain how I was feeling, my grandmother interrupted me saying that she should never have walked down the aisle at my wedding. In a moment of rage, I responded with profanity that I rarely use and stormed out of the house in tears. It was so special to me to have my grandparents walk down the aisle at my wedding, and to know that it wasn't special to her, was as big of an insult as when my other already deceased grandmother told me at 12 that she wouldn't love me anymore if I married out of the family religion.

Once again, I was being told that this love wasn't unconditional.

Why was it my responsibility to have relationships with family members that never wanted one with me? Why was no one mad at them? Why was I always the villain? These questions pour through my head almost daily as I try to wrap my head around the most obvious answer. That they never truly loved me wholeheartedly.

After about a year passed, I decided to see my grandparents again. When I was 14, I chose to cut my other grandmother out of my life for the pain she caused me. I did not want to do it again. As we began to make amends, or so it seemed, I tried to move on. My husband and I began to do our best to go to family functions, such as my grandmother's birthday party and my grandparents anniversary party.

Then in the Spring of 2014, while on an early anniversary vacation with my husband in Europe, I received an incredibly hurtful email from a cousin of mine telling me that I was "self centered", that my husband was "fake and rude", and that I was "unwelcome into [her] life and the family as a whole." Somehow I was being yelled at for the conversation I had with my grandmother two years before. I was being told how much I hurt our grandmother and that if we all wanted to be a family again, I needed to apologize to everyone. Apologize for responding to a very hurtful remark that I never received an apology for either. The real question though is, when were we a family in the first place?

In my eyes, family is about being supportive and understanding. It's about communication, mutual love and respect. Family is not about ignoring people and attacking them for their own decisions, especially when you've never been a part of their lives in the first place.

The saddest part to me through all of this is that there is still a cousin or two of mine that I wish I could get to know. They've never responded to the drama but at the same time, I know it's a hard place for them to be in. And I respect that fully.

At the end of the day, all I can do is let this experience be in the past. It taught me what family truly means and what I want and who I want in my life, my husband's life, and my son's life.

Surround yourself with the people who always cared about you, effortlessly and unconditionally.

The other people are merely names that will eventually fade away as they distance themselves further and further. Don't let one stranger's opinion affect how you see yourself and don't second guess your gut feelings and your choices. You made them for a reason and the truth is, people will show their true colors over time.

I'm grateful that my son is growing up with already more support and love from here to New Zealand than I ever had. Already, he has grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins who speak to him almost every day, even if it's a Skype call from across the ocean. He couldn't have asked for a better family unit and I will continue to do my best to surround him with those who I know truly care.

Read my follow up story: "The Aftermath (I Will No Longer Be a Victim)"

The Rollercoaster of Confidence

2016-02-05T08:32:00.002-08:00

It's hard to believe that it's been two years since we began putting together our plans and searching for the location for our very first restaurant, Aroha. Ever since that moment, we have learned a lot. About customer service, about management, about life in general. To say it's been easy would be a lie. Some days, I close my eyes and imagine what life would be like if we had never chosen this path. But honestly, as tough as it is, I could never wish for anything different than what I have. Somedays, I feel like I could crumble under all of the pressure but in the end I know, these experiences are only making me stronger.

Gwith and I in 2014 after signing the lease for Aroha

It's hard owning something that you care so deeply about, especially when you have the occasional diner who never gives you a chance. When we designed our restaurant, we wanted to create an intimate and romantic environment that would make our customers feel welcome every day. We had a limited amount of space in the building and we did our best to accomplish our goals. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't crushed every time I read an occasional review saying our interior looks like a cheap Denny's. Our interior was incredibly costly from our standpoint and we've tried our hardest to make it beautiful. I guess, for me, the hardest part is knowing that I came up with the design. On slow days, I can't help but blame myself thinking that I should've done something differently. That maybe, even as we're constantly growing, I'm the reason we're not packed every minute.

Aroha Interior at night

I know. It's silly. Especially when realizing that other times, customers walk in and compare our interior to sitting inside a magical jewel box. I guess at the end of the day, you just can't please every one. It's crazy how for every 100 great reviews, even seeing one bad one, can be crushing. When we run an ad on Facebook to try to increase our customer base and one person takes to it to say "I was unimpressed", they don't realize the potential effect that their response could be having on not just our business, but our family and our livelihood. I know. As an adult and a business owner, it should just be understood that this is life. People criticize and judge and it's our job to be strong enough to not let it affect us and our mindset. But why should the feeling of being knocked down just be understood? Can't people be supportive? My whole life I've dealt with people who just try to bring you down. From extended family members, to teachers, to bosses, and I just can't for the life of me understand why people need to destroy others to make themselves feel more important. When did people learn to have such a negative mindset?

Yesterday, I heard a story about a family friend's daughter who is beginning to have the same struggles at my former high school as I did. She was out sick for a few days before finals and was badgered by two teachers for being absent. She's a smart girl with straight A's but she's losing her confidence because these teachers feel the need to bring her down. When I went through these same experiences, I chose to drop out (read my blog, Confessions from a High School Drop-Out). No longer did I feel smart, confident, or capable. I lost all hope in my abilities and it's a struggle I deal with every day. It's nine years later and no matter how many things I accomplish, I still live with this shadow over my head. A shadow that I'm constantly trying to leave behind. But every once in a while when I think it's gone, it looms over me again. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to those days and tell these teachers that what they're doing is wrong. People are so focused on teaching children not to bully, but what about adults? I was never physically beaten up in school but I can't even begin to count the amount of times I've been mentally beaten by various adults in my life. From being told by relatives that I'm a "selfish bitch" and "not welcome in the family" for the decision to not invite someone to my small wedding who by all accounts was a stranger to me (read my blog, The Untold Story of a Choice that Revealed Everything), to being told by my Grandmother when I was 12 years old that if I married out of my religion, she would no longer love me, to being told by a school teacher that I would never amount to anything in life because I had health problems, and to being told by a boss that I wasn't working hard enough even after working 90 to 100 hour weeks.

Our wedding in my childhood backyard

I will never understand why people just can't be supportive. When I think that this is the world my son is going to grow up in, all I can hope is that I can do my best to surround him with people that care for him and teach him what's right and wrong. I want him to know more than anything that he is a strong, confident, and capable person that can accomplish anything. What worries me is knowing that my parents taught me this every day too...but at the end of the day, there were too many other people out there letting me know how much of a failure I was in there eyes.

Our son Bailey and I

So please, to anyone who's reading this blog, don't let this be you. Today (and everyday), remember to tell people, whether it's the bagger at the grocery store, an employee of yours, a family member, a friend, a co-worker, your boss, or just someone you casually strike up a conversation with, that they're doing a wonderful job... And before you criticize someone for not working hard enough or not satisfying your expectations, think about the effect that you're creating on their life and their mental mindset. Maybe there's another way to help them without knocking them down. Maybe all they need is to have a someone, even a stranger, make them smile, because maybe too many have already made them cry.

When I have a customer who tells me how much they love their experience at the restaurant and how welcome they feel, it helps get me through the hardest of days. Each time I feel like giving up, I hear these customers and it rejuvenates me to keep on trying. It's this mindset that helps me, my husband, and our employees continue to strive to provide the best service possible.

Thank you all for reading.

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30990 Russell Ranch Rd Unit C, Westlake Village, CA 91362
© 2015 Aroha Restaurant.

Aroha's New Years Eve Menu & Our Special Announcement!

2015-12-13T15:35:00.003-08:00

I can't believe in just a few weeks 2015 will be coming to a close! This past year has been such a life changing experience for both my husband and I and I truly can't believe how far we have come.

We are so thankful for the amazing customers we've had so far at Aroha. There are so many large corporate owned restaurants that we compete with daily and as a small family owned restaurant, we are beyond grateful to those of you who continue to spread the word about us and support our small business and family! We look forward to providing you with more quality food and service as we continue to grow in the Westlake Village community.

As for Aroha's New Years Eve plans...we have just released our six course 2016 Countdown Menu which offers many of my husband's most delicious dishes including the New Zealand Venison Loin with cherry gel, vanilla parsnip, pistachio, and micro licorice greens; Ceviche of Tua Tua Cloudy Bay Clams with lime, cilantro, chili, and tomato; and Jelly Tip Ice Cream with fresh berry jello, mixed berries, and house made vanilla ice cream encased in chocolate! If you would like to view the entire menu (as well as the wine pairings!), click here. We are proud to say our Countdown Menu is 100% gluten free/gluten free optional. We will also have separate available menu options for vegetarians dining with us, and, as always, if you have any specific allergies, we are happy to make changes to the dishes to meet your needs!

We will also be offering some giveaways throughout the evening, including $100 gift certificates and bottles of wines!

We hope all of you are having a wonderful holiday season thus far and look forward to spending New Years Eve with you!

Reserve Now For New Years Eve at Aroha

On another exciting note, I would like to officially announce, with a photo and short video, the arrival of our baby boy, Bailey! He arrived in this world on October 17th and Gwith and I have been soaking up every second since.

Throughout the nine months of my pregnancy, I wrote a song for Bailey and I sang it almost every day. I'm happy to say that since he's been born, it almost always relaxes him and puts him to sleep! The video below features both the song and footage of Bailey shortly after he was born! Enjoy! ("Hey Little Baby" by Justine Thomas is available on iTunes.)

Once again, thank you everyone for your support! It means the world to us!

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30990 Russell Ranch Rd Unit C, Westlake Village, CA 91362
© 2015 Aroha Restaurant.

The Skinny Pregnancy

2015-10-20T09:17:00.001-07:00

I've gone back and forth on whether to write a blog about this because it's such a sensitive subject for me, but at the end of the day, I'm hoping I can help someone else just like me because I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Let me start by saying that I've never had any eating disorders (just a lot of allergies!) and my body has always had a super fast metabolism that just can't be tamed. Since I've been an adult, I've been a primarily healthy eater and ate fish, fruits, and vegetables regularly, as well as took my daily gummy multi-vitamin. I'm allergic to gluten and dairy and my body has always had issues if I eat too much meat. I'm a light eater with a sensitive stomach and I've always done better with smaller portion sizes throughout the day (or drawn-out multiple course meals) rather than three big meals. It's always been challenging but over the years, I've managed to figure out foods that work for me...and my brilliant chef husband always finds ways to slip me extra calories with loads of olive oil and other hidden ingredients in my dishes.

June 2013 at 85 lbs

I'm 5'0 and never weighed more than 85 lbs in my life, not for lack of trying! Back in August 2013, however, I ended up with food poisoning and a stomach parasite that led to me being unable to stomach food for about five months. During this time, I dropped to 75 lbs and I was scared out of my mind. I woke up nightly panicking about my low weight and what all of the BMI information said online. I felt awful, had dizzy spells regularly, and was worried that my body was failing me.

December 2013, with my hubby and sister while I was ill at 75 lbs

However, after a round with antibiotics in January of 2014, I began to eat normally again. Of course, even so, my body, which took about four years to get from 78 lbs to 85 lbs (thanks to my chef hubby!), wasn't jumping up in weight at all. No matter what I ate, I still remained at 75 lbs. The most unhealthy part of this weight for me wasn't the weight itself in the end, it was the mindset I put myself in. Online articles would say how unhealthy my weight was and people would look at me stunned if I told them. I convinced myself I was unhealthy, despite the fact that I was now eating three healthy meals a day, with snacks in between, and on any day I didn't think about it, I felt fine. I looked thin but I didn't look frail anymore and I wasn't malnourished. I was the same weight I was when I was sick, but my body was now getting the nutrition it needed and felt fine...One of the worst parts of searching online for information was reading that women with such low BMI's can have trouble having children.

My hubby and I, at 75 lbs and healthy again, during Thanksgiving 2014

This year, I learned that BMI and health are all relative and being naturally "underweight" doesn't matter if you're taking care of yourself and getting the nutrition your body needs.

In February, my husband and I found out we were going to being having our very first child! We were instantly over the moon with excitement. Within days, I began looking up online everything I needed to do and what to expect during my pregnancy. Unfortunately, my google searching led me to all the data I longed to avoid reading - the dangers of having a low BMI during pregnancy. The thing that all of these sites leave out is that a seriously low BMI with a body you take care of and is just naturally low is vastly different than a malnourished body. First I read that having a BMI as low as mine meant trouble conceiving because your body is apparently too unhealthy. This was definitely untrue in my case. Then the articles continued with information that scared me for months. Supposedly, my chances of miscarriage were enormous or at the very least, I was destined to have a micro-premie or premie baby.

During my morning sickness, I dropped to 72 lbs and panicked daily about how I was going to gain the necessary weight this pregnancy. After all, my weight was already so "dangerously low" and now I couldn't eat again. After the first trimester passed, I began getting plenty of food cravings and eating. Still, I eat in what I call "Justine size" portions. Other people might think it was a small amount of food for a pregnant lady but I felt pretty stuffed after my meals. Over time, I started to gain weight and as the months passed, I realized all of the problems I read I'd have, weren't actually happening. In fact, as my parents and husband love to say, I was a textbook pregnancy! Every symptom I had fell in line with exactly when it was supposed to happen according to the books! When I finally found a doctor after months of searching, I went into my first appointment at 80 lbs. I was again terrified that I'd go into the doctor's office and be belittled about my weight. To my surprise, she never mentioned a thing. I looked healthy, I felt healthy, and the baby was growing fine.

This weekend, at 38 weeks and 6 days (at my final weight of 92 lbs), I gave birth to a healthy 5 lbs 14 oz baby boy. I didn't gain 40 lbs as the pregnancy websites suggest for "underweight" women but I feel and felt fantastic (other than every normal pregnancy symptom in the book and now postpartum soreness!), my baby grew perfectly well, and I feel like I'm starting this new chapter of my life with an entirely new outlook on myself and my health. What you weigh is all relative and has no true representation of how healthy your body is. How you take care of your body is what matters and don't let anyone tell you different. The key to health isn't the number on the scale, it's having a healthy mindset and taking care of yourself.

Baby Belly at 34.5 weeks, and 90 lbs!

When I first became pregnant, I searched and searched for an article about someone who was super skinny during their pregnancy and had a healthy outcome. All I found were the horror stories. I really hope now that I've written this, that anyone in a similar situation to me can now find a story that makes them feel good about themselves, their body, and their pregnancy. At the end of the day, all those articles taught me was that an unhealthy body can't cope with pregnancy. And that's how I now know...my body is perfectly healthy. :)

Aroha Restaurant: Our One Year Anniversary, Year in Review, and Meeting Lorde!

2015-09-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe it's been a year since our restaurant's grand opening! So much has happened in these last 12 months and we have learned so much about operating a business, customer service, and most importantly, ourselves. Saying it's been an easy ride thus far would a lie. It hasn't been. It's been hard, exhausting, overwhelming, and sometimes, downright depressing. But it's been worth every moment because for all of the challenges we've faced, it's also been exciting, fun, eye-opening and at the end of the day, completely amazing.

Celebrating our one year restaurant anniversary! (Sept. 10, 2015)

The biggest challenge we've faced in the past year is our overwhelming desire to please everyone, which these past couple months, we finally realized that's not possible. You can never please everyone or cater to everyone, and as we've realized this, I feel like we've brought the restaurant back up to the level that we always intended for it, and we plan to keep it there. We've always been about providing quality food and service and quality comes at a price. It's been hard to become okay with that idea! As young business owners, even if 90% of the customers love and appreciate the restaurant's food and concept, every time the 10% come in that complain that our freerange imported New Zealand meat is too expensive and should be $20 or less, we've made the mistake of trying to rearrange the menu and pricing to cater to these individuals. Of course, being sticklers for quality, we kept the quality and still tried to meet these demands. Needless to say, that has not worked in our benefit and we certainly have paid the price for those mistakes...very literally. The fact is, we will never sacrifice the quality of our food or service and at the end of the day, we just need to keep getting visits from our amazing customers who understand that. After a year of being open, we've finally learned that this group of customers does in fact exist and we just need to focus our attention on them! We're very excited to start Year Two focused more than ever on our concept and bring more amazing creations and ideas to Aroha!

At the end of this first year, the biggest lesson we've learned is to never be afraid to follow your vision. Go with what's in your heart and eventually, people will follow. It just takes time to grow and trying to rush growth is just a recipe for disaster.

While we've been through some very challenging times, we've also had some incredible experiences that we never would've dreamed of! A couple of weeks before our grand opening last year, we were contacted by the New Zealand Consulate to host a private event for the Consulate General, Leon Grice. The event went off without a hitch and it was a fabulous way to adjust to our brand new kitchen and staff.

Gwith and I with the New Zealand Consulate General, Leon Grice.

That day was exciting for us, both professionally and personally, as Gwith and I received the surprise of a lifetime! His family flew in from New Zealand to surprise us and celebrate our restaurant's launch!

Then, shortly before opening last year, we were contacted by The Breeder's Cup Taste of the World to represent New Zealand a month after our grand opening! This opportunity was an incredible experience as we presented our venison carpaccio to celebrity chef, Bobby Flay (who absolutely loved it!), and 1,200 other guests within a three hour time window.

Gwith and I with Bobby Flay at the 2014 Breeder's Cup Taste of the World

Flash forward and we've had some great talents visit our restaurant since our opening! Within the first few months, we had visits from now regulars, Hercules actor Kevin Sorbo and Kiwi native Flight of the Concords' comedian Rhys Darby.

Gwith and I with Kevin Sorbo (Hercules)

Rhys Darby and his wife, Rosie, tweet about his experience at Aroha

During the winter of last year, we also got a visit from the New Zealand news station, Seven Sharp! The exposure we were given apparently made Gwith a celebrity back in New Zealand and thanks to this video, we've even had Kiwis fly in from New Zealand with our restaurant on their list of places to visit!

This past week, however, has blown our minds. Within our final week of our first year, we had the opportunity to cook for not one, not two, but THREE Grammy award winners! One week ago, we had the privilege of serving System of a Down's lead singer, Serj Tankien during our Friday lunch. It was wonderful to chat with him and we were ecstatic when he asked us for a photo so he could Instagram his experience! The post blew up with over 12,000 likes within the day!

Us with Serj Tankien and his Instagram post

Still over the moon about this experience, on Monday night, Gwith received and incredible phone call and opportunity from New Zealand TV personality, Brooke Howard-Smith for his charity, Cure Kids. Just two days away before the launch of their video, "Team Ball Player Thing" (a charity video and song raising money for Batten's disease featuring New Zealand musicians), he was searching for a chef to cater the LA launch party at Grammy Award winning producer Joel Little's house. Gwith seized this opportunity and on Wednesday night, we made our way there to cater the event, supplying our Cloudy Bay clams, green lipped mussels, New Zealand lamb, and the biggest hit of the party, our venison sausages from our Sunday brunch menu! The event included a large majority of the artists featured in the video, including many of my husband's favorite Kiwi bands like Six60, Kids of 88, The Naked and Famous, and Daniel Bedingfield (who happens to be the singer of our song, "If You're Not the One"). Throughout the night, as the only pregnant lady there in my third trimester, I was kept company by non other than Grammy Award winning artist, Ella Yelich-O'Connor, otherwise known as Lorde! As she ate up our food (and repeatedly made her way back to the grill for more venison sausages!), she couldn't have been any sweeter. She was constantly making sure I not only had a place to sit throughout the evening but also that I was being kept company. I truly love the essence of Kiwi culture. Everyone is so down-to-earth and truthfully, if I hadn't seen so many photos of her online and in magazines these past couple of years, I never would've known she was a celebrity.

Us at the Kiwis Cure Batten Fundraiser (Top left: Me and Lorde, Top right: Gwith and I with Six60, Bottom left: The guests watch the launch of the video, Bottom right: Gwith and Lorde)

Please support this fantastic organization and cause by sharing the video and checking out the song "Team Ball Player Thing" on iTunes. Be sure to share with the hashtags #kiwiscurebatten and #teamballplayerthing! The video features a slew of New Zealand celebrities including Peter Jackson, Rhys Darby, Bret McKenzie, Boh Runga, Brooke Fraser, Dave Dobbyn, Gin Wigmore, Kimbra, Daniel Bedingfield, Matiu Walters, Sam McCarthy, Thom Powers, Alisa Xayalith, Lorde, nine of the All Black players, and countless others! It really is an amazing collaboration.

As we start our second year at Aroha, we can't wait to seeing what new opportunities arise! We hope this upcoming year brings joy to everyone as we continue to grow into our roles as restaurant owners and take Aroha to new heights!

Thank you everyone for all of your support this past year! It has been one wild ride and we look forward to continuing our journey with you!

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30990 Russell Ranch Rd Unit C, Westlake Village, CA 91362
© 2015 Aroha Restaurant.

Our Aroha Summer & What's New on the Home Front!

2015-08-07T11:56:00.001-07:00

Since we opened Aroha last September, our main goal was to build our customer base gradually while we learned the ropes of running a restaurant and made connections locally with the various newspapers. It was a tough experience to originally open so close to the winter months with little advertising when most people aren't in the mood to go out, and especially to try something new!

This summer though, we felt our staff and restaurant were ready for a big launch! I think the most important thing we've learned through the restaurant is that there will always be hiccups in any business. Nothing will ever be 100% perfect but timing is definitely everything. While we may still have an off day (who doesn't, right??), we now know how to work with the staff to improve any issues a lot faster.

After nearly a year of trying to begin valet parking for our restaurant, we were ecstatic in July to finally begin and thus have enough customer parking available to launch our full advertising campaign with confidence!! In the past month, we've been heavily pushing our name out on Facebook, running ads in 805 Living, The Acorn, and Beyond the Acorn. The Acorn has been fabulous to our restaurant and wrote both a review for their newspaper and an article for their magazine, discussing my husband and I.

Read the full article for Beyond the Acorn here

We've got some exciting things coming up at the restaurant in the next two months, including a new and much more extensive wine list beginning at the end of next week, an extended happy hour menu, and I'm sure my husband has a few new dishes up his sleeve! We've already added some new additions to our brunch menu and a couple new seafood salads to the lunch menu! Be sure to come in for Sunday Brunch soon to try our brand new Blueberry and House made Ricotta Pancakes, House Cured Ora King Salmon, Blackberry and Granny Smith Apple Oatmeal, and of course, New Zealand Venison Sausage (view the menu here)!

It's been exciting to see our numbers begin to jump and we are so grateful for all of the support from the community! The most challenging part is making sure my husband is there for all of the busy times now, which is a great problem to have, of course, but the timing of everything couldn't be crazier! While the restaurant continues to grow, so does my belly! With our baby due in October, Gwith has been a real trooper trying to balance everything. Every morning, he wakes up at 6 am to help me and my growing belly out of bed, before heading back to sleep (or to the supermarket if I'm craving something!) and then heading to the restaurant and returning home at 10 at night...of course, if he's not at the restaurant (he's pretty much always on the phone for the behind the scenes work though!) you can guarantee he's either at a prenatal appointment with me or organizing the house in preparation for our baby! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't in nesting mode right now and going completely crazy wanting everything to be perfect! I'm in awe of him everyday and how hard he works at home and at the restaurant for our growing family.

On the home front, we have had a busy week this week with not one, but two close friends flying in to stay with us for our baby shower on Monday! One friend is a close friend of Gwith's from New Zealand, Max, and the other is one of my best friends, Lisa, who I've only seen in person once since we were 10! We are so happy to have them both in town with us! So far, we've been taking Max to all of the "best" America has to offer. I say that sarcastically. For some reason, and Gwith was the exact same way originally, every visitor we have from New Zealand wants to go to places like Walmart and Taco Bell! No matter how much I try to convince them that we have much better quality stores and restaurants, apparently there is nothing more "American" than those places! Poor Max has been dying from the LA heat though! On Tuesday night, he arrived in the valley in pants and a long sleeve shirt. For anyone that lives here, you know how bad that is. That night, Gwith found him standing in front of our A/C vent, arms outstretched, trying to cool down. We're hoping to squeeze in a little time on Saturday or Sunday to show them around LA more, but we'll have to wait and see what Gwith's schedule is looking like at the restaurant.

I am so excited for our baby shower on Monday! As I've entered the third trimester, the past number of weeks have not been easy for me, so it's nice to look forward to something. When I say it hasn't been easy, I mean, our wonderful baby boy has been enjoying punching my hip and kicking my ribs at the same time, pretty much all day long. He's incredibly active, which is wonderful, but man, he must have Gwith's energy levels, because I swear, this baby never sleeps. My stomach is also getting pushed on more and it's getting much more challenging to eat! I am definitely looking forward to his arrival this October. Although, as a first time mom, I'm also terrified about the thought of labor. I've never done well with pain and I've always tried my hardest to avoid it...but this is one thing I can't seem to get out of! ;)

Our handsome baby boy as of July 15th (25 weeks!)

In other news, I've been writing a song for our baby boy since pretty much the day we found out I was pregnant! I am so excited for every one to hear it once he's born...it mentions his name in the chorus, so I can't post it yet...however, I may post a clip of a non spoiler part soon! :)

Anyways, hopefully I'll find the brain power to write again soon! I've been wanting to blog for a while but every time I sit at the computer, my pregnancy brain clicks on, and I can't remember a single thing to talk about. My brain must've been working a little bit better this morning! YAY! Maybe it will last another hour...or even the day??! That would be amazing!

Again, thank you everyone for your wonderful support at the restaurant and for the many congratulations on our upcoming bundle of joy! Every time a guest congratulates us, Gwith passes it on to me when he gets home. :)

Bonus photo of our bunny Willow napping because she's just so darn adorable!

The Road to Success Lies in You

2015-06-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! It's been a while. For those of you who don't know, my husband and I are expecting our very first child this October - a baby boy!!! We are beyond excited...this also explains why I've been so absent from the blog these past few months. Pregnancy is a wild ride!

Today, I felt inspired to write a blog after seeing a post on Facebook about encouraging kids to read for the sake of their standardize test scores. Seeing something like this saddened me, angered me, and all around just made me think about the pressures from society my child is going to grow up in. I am grateful that I grew up with parents who didn't believe test scores and school were the be-all end-all, and I am happy that Gwith and I will raise our son exactly the same way.

I don't believe tests and school are the way to success. My belief is that passion, enthusiasm, and drive are what make you a successful person, which is why encouraging our children in their interests at a young age is far more important than anything else. For those of you who have read my past blogs, you know I dropped out of high school at 16 years old (read my story here). This was not an easy decision for me, or for my parents, but it was undoubtedly one of the best decisions made in my life. When I flashback to the day we decided I needed to leave school, I can still picture myself sitting on the floor, shaking in tears from the depression and insecurities school had taught me to feel. I felt helpless, stupid, and like I had no control or ability to make decisions for myself. That was the day it all changed. After crying in my mom's arms, she asked me, "Do you want to drop out of school?" Tearfully, I told her yes. While it was a struggle for my parents, they didn't show that to me. Without any hesitation, my mom saw the pain I was in and agreed with my decision. I originally planned to study online and take my GED...but life got in the way. Instead, I continued teaching myself what I loved: film editing. I was on Final Cut Pro daily, fine tuning my editing skills and learning the ins and outs of the program. In many ways, I still felt insecure and incompetent thanks to many years of my experiences in school. However, film editing was the first thing I knew I was able to do and helped me believe in myself. I created plans for an editing business and worked on a few corporate training video projects, but at 18, thanks to my parents, I ended up with the experience of a lifetime - an experience that taught me greatly about passion, hard work, and management. In December of 2008, my sister, a friend, and I, wrote a TV show pilot script called "Little Blossom". My parents loved the script and encouraged us to create it. Of course, I don't think they realized at the time what that meant...In January, I had built a website for our project. By the end of the month, we had advertisements for actors out on Craigslist, Colorado Screen Actors Guild, and had contacted numerous talent agencies in the Denver area. Throughout February, we began auditioning actors for our ambitiously sized script. When I say ambitiously sized, I mean, when we do a project, we never think small. We go straight to big. Not big. Huge. Our production required 40 actors, at least 15 background extras, a camera crew, makeup crew, and 15 various filming locations.

The audition process alone was life changing for me...and I can safely say, we had no idea how many people would find out about our "little" project! Before we knew it, we had days full of auditions with actors flying in from Florida, New York, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas. As three young women ranging in age from 18-21, and all looking about 15, we were beyond nervous that we wouldn't be taken seriously. As we prepared for our first day as casting directors, we put on our business suits, our serious faces, and walked in to the office that would be our audition room for the next month or two. As the auditions passed and the days continued, we really got the hang of what we were doing...and over time, we realized that the actors coming in were far more nervous than we were. I spent years assuming that adults looked at me as an insecure little girl. The moment that changed was when we had a 45 year old man come in to our audition room, shaking throughout his audition, because the three of us made him that nervous! I will never forget that day. I'm not going to lie, it was a pretty good day! Over the weeks, I stopped thinking about "will these people take us seriously?". I had a job to do, actors to hire, and I could care less. We were interviewing actors for parts ranging in age from 12 to 65! If anyone had a problem with us, that was their problem, not ours.

After the audition process passed and we had a full cast, we began writing contracts, release forms, etc. It was my first experience looking at legal contracts! I learned quite a bit about what the language in those and what needs to be added, removed, etc. As the summer arrived, my mother and I set out to find our various filming locations: the most challenging being a school for exterior and interior scenes! I fell in love with the outdoor layout of a school and we contacted them immediately. Unfortunately, they came back to us with a ridiculous contract. My mom couldn't understand half of it and as I read through, I realized it gave us liability for anything that happens on the grounds, whether we're there or not! I highlighted the line for my mom to read and we realized, as much as I loved the location, we had to find another school. The school we ended up at didn't have the layout needed to film the opening shot as I had hoped, but we made do with what we had!

Throughout June and July, we began holding rehearsals. During the rehearsals, we directed our various actors on their roles and prepped them throughout the summer. In the meantime, my sister Raishel, friend Rhiannon, and I, shopped for clothes for our cast and props for the sets. With filming right around the corner (our first day was August 1st!), we had to hustle. A couple of days before filming, one of our actresses got her character's attire and didn't approve. Her character was a flirty, sexy, high school student who wore shorts skirts, high heels, and tight fitting tops. The next day, she informed us that she had taken it upon herself to shop at some very expensive stores to buy "sophisticated" attire for her character and expected reimbursement. Needless to say, with only a couple days before filming, we had a decision to make...and the decision was easy. We had an ensemble cast so we cut her entire character (and yes, she was a lead!), out of the script, rewrote scenes, added a few scenes for other characters, and fired her. I had never made a decision so quickly in my life...but we had no time to cast someone new and we weren't going to let her do whatever she wanted! This taught me that no matter what issues arise in business, there are always solutions if you think fast on your feet.

Promo photo from the set of "Little Blossom" (August 2009)

Filming was a hectic and wild ride. Some days, we would wake up at 4:30 am, return home after midnight, write the call sheet, and do it all over again. It taught me how to work on very little sleep, how to schedule, and ultimately, how to manage. As the days continued on set, my sister and I co-directed the actors every day, repeatedly tried to teach the "professional" camera crew how to film (we quickly found out they weren't as professional as they said!), and tried to keep the makeup crew from having breakdowns when things fell behind. One day, a couple weeks into filming, we had our largest scene yet. We had about 25 people at a house, waiting to film a scene. The house was owned by our cameraman and he was supposed to have set up the set and scene in advance...but that hadn't happened. Instead, our cast was waiting around throughout the day, for him to finish setting up the scene. My sister ended up having a breakdown (As luck would have it, our ambulance had arrived for a scene and the paramedics were still there and able to check that she was okay!). My dad had flipped out completely and left, and my mom and I remained to deal with the exhausted cast members who were crying and having meltdowns, a fussy makeup team constantly getting angry and asking us when things would be done, and a lazy camera crew...I don't like to call people lazy but every time we went to check on them, they were sitting down and chatting while everyone waited for them to finish their work! It was probably the worst day of my life but somehow, I managed to do everything. I still don't actually know how, but I did.

After a month of filming, we finally wrapped production. A month or so later, my family left for our vacation to Australia and New Zealand, which is where I met my wonderful husband (read our love story here)! Upon our return, I went straight to editing the show and we continued into post-production, renting out a recording studio to record ADR for noisier scenes. In April of 2010, we were ready to premiere the show!

Photo from the premiere (April 2010)

Unfortunately, at the end of the day, we didn't have the connections or knowledge of the entertainment industry to bring the show anywhere. At the time, it was hard to acknowledge that, but in the long run, I don't think that experience had anything to do with pitching and launching a network TV show. It ended up being a major confidence builder that taught me about the strength I never knew I had.

That experience was the reason that when Gwith and I opened our restaurant, Aroha, last year, I knew we could manage it. I'm not sure if I had continued in school if I would have the confidence and self-respect that I have now at 23 years old. Maybe I would've found it eventually, but I tend to doubt it. Not everyone needs to experience a giant film production to find their confidence. The point is, we all just need to find something. Some people find their confidence through good grades and the school system...and that's awesome for them. However, some us find it through our creative outlets, our athletics, or our passions for helping people and making the world a better place. Society places far too much importance on school being the only outlet that can mark success. At the end of the day, only we can mark our own success and believing in ourselves is what gets us there. Grades are just a mark on a piece of paper and no reflection on our intelligence and work ethic. If grades and school truly marked these things, then by all standards, Gwith and I wouldn't be capable of being where we are today.

I hope as our restaurant builds in success, that one day Gwith and I can obtain the funds to continue forth with another big dream of mine. I was lucky enough to have parents that could fund my dream of "Little Blossom" and help me towards my passions in life. My dream is to begin a foundation one day that can do the same for other high school drop-outs like my husband and I. I would love to make other peoples dreams a possibility and help them build their confidence and abilities by letting them learn to write business plans, obtain the funds for their businesses, and gain management skills, or pursue their goals as artists, or any other career they dream of succeeding in. I truly believe that if more people were encouraged and helped on the paths they dream to take, they'll get there.

Believe in yourself and anything is possible.

It's Your Thoughts, Not Your Age, That Matter When You Get Married

2015-03-30T10:21:00.001-07:00

I'm twenty-four years old and I got married at the age of twenty. Plenty of people would say that my age was far too young to get married. Yet, if someone gets married at the age of thirty, plenty of people would say "It's about time!". When did important life decisions become about a number, rather than just knowing when you're ready?

I am very much in love with my husband and I have been since practically the moment we met. But when I made the decision to marry him, my love for him was only a small part of my decision. For just being in love, does not make anyone ready for marriage.

Marriage is about being ready to spend your life compromising, sharing your decisions, and above all, understanding how to balance your needs while selflessly making decisions to benefit your spouse. It's about being ready to grow up and take on a million new responsibilities you never saw coming. It's about accepting your spouse for every single part of them, the good and the bad, and being ready to deal with the ups and downs that go along with that.

With things like Facebook now a days, it's hard for people not to compare themselves to their peers. At 24, I see all kinds of different worlds on my Facebook in my age group. There are the people that are married, the ones with children, some who are already divorced, and the couples who aren't married yet but have been together for years. Then there are the singles who are off in grad school, others beginning their new exciting careers, working non-stop, and then a handful who somehow still party and drink like they never left high school. The point is, every one is different. There isn't an age that makes you ready for the future. Only you can decide when you're truly ready.

At twenty years old, I was lucky enough to know. Since I was a little girl, the only thing I could remember wanting more than anything in the world was a family of my own. Before I met my husband, I had dated my fair share of guys and each one taught me about myself and what I was looking for in a relationship. They also taught me that sometimes, you only see what you want to see when you're in the moment. I dated a guy I really liked when I was 17, and yet, I don't even know why I liked him so much. Deep down, I knew he wasn't right for me but I didn't want to admit it to myself. When he broke up with me, I was heartbroken. However, as time passed and the blinders I had kept so tightly on came off, it was clear to me that he and I would have never worked out. I think what I liked about him was that he was a symbol of the independence I was so eager to have. However, this one major attraction didn't mean we were in any way compatible.

When I met my husband at 18, there were clear signs that made me realize over time that he was the one for me. However, the biggest sign was how natural I felt around him. Whether I felt ridiculously goofy or mind-blowingly frustrated, he always understood. I knew at any moment I could be myself and he would never hold me back, only help me blossom further. And I realized I did the same for him. To me, his "faults" aren't "faults". They're personality traits that make him who he is, and it is part of marriage to find the ability to understand and respect them. The fact is, if I had to choose between a lifetime of his faults or a lifetime without him, it wouldn't even be a choice. There is no world that I can picture without him. Like all big decisions in life, you should never hide from the negative sides you may see. These sides only help you decide what you truly want and what you're truly ready for.

At twenty years old, when he proposed to me, I didn't ever just expect the happy moments. I never went in with blinders on. I knew exactly who I was marrying and expected that we'd face challenges along the way. In some ways, I prepared myself for things that never even happened. Honestly, I feel like when we got married, we both knew who the other person was so well that we've never judged each other for our differences. Our annoyances or frustrations never give us thoughts of "maybe this isn't working". They only help us strive to be an even more dynamic couple.

The point is, no matter what age you are, falling in love is always easy. It's getting married, however, that takes a different level of understanding that only you will know if you're truly ready for.

Finding Your Creativity

2015-03-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and I couldn't fall back asleep. There was a conversation I had earlier yesterday that had my brain spinning and I was trying to think of solutions. This conversation was in no way negative, it was one where I just wanted to find a way to help.

It was about finding your creativity. As an all around creative person, I know just how tough it is to hit a mental block. I've had a year go by where I couldn't write a single song and it depressed me beyond belief. I'd even sit down, try to write a few phrases, and then realize they meant absolutely nothing to me.

One day, I don't know how I realized my cure, but I did. After many stressful months of changes in my life and me trying to shrug it all off and "get through it", I closed my eyes. I let myself feel the struggles that I was trying so hard to mask. Suddenly, a flood of songs came to me within days. It's like I couldn't stop. Happy feelings. Sad feelings. Fearful feelings. Loving feelings. They were all there again and the second I let the words hit the paper, I could feel the thoughts I had kept bottled inside of me for months leaving me. Once the songs were complete and I sang them repeatedly, I ended up with closure.

At the end of the day, I realized. Creativity has nothing to do with anyone else. Creativity is personal and it's private and it's something you do for you. If you eventually choose to share it with others, you do. But there shouldn't be any pressure to do so. First and foremost, you have to do it for you, and the only way to do that is use your creativity like your own personal diary.

The fact is, every book, song, or painting is every creators own personal diary. And yet, through months of struggling with my own emotions, I found comfort in singing other people's songs. Trying to relate to what they were singing about. The honest truth though is, nothing other than your own art will "cure" you. Because even if you love a song, a story, or a character, and it makes perfect sense to you, at the end of the day, you can still shrug it off as someone else. Yet when you create it, when you write it, there's no one else it stems from but you.

So, here's my advice. If you're going through a creative block right now, I want you to close your eyes. Picture that little box inside of you that holds your emotions. Take a key, unlock it, and let your emotions come out. If you're a writer, write about it. Start your novel by creating a character that feels what you feel, thinks what you think, fears what you fear, experiences what you've experienced. Even if you can't think of how to begin the story, begin your prologue with your character talking about their own writer's block. Their own fear to let their emotions loose. Begin from there and let your feelings guide you. Don't worry about the imperfections in the story, the chapters that you skip, write from where you can and write from what you know. Don't plan to show your story to anyone. Let it be personal and don't be afraid to let this character express everything you feel.

My go to first phrase as a songwriter when I'm struggling to find the words is, "Today, I woke up". Whether I write it into my song or not, I begin from that place, because for me, my feelings and emotions are always in the front of my mind when I awake. As the day progresses, a million distractions come my way but if I think back to how I felt when I opened my eyes and what was on my mind, I can always work from there.

The fact is, once your emotions are free, it's easier to write, sing, paint, etc. about anything else. Every story, even the fantasy stories people write are somewhere based on their feelings, thoughts, and experiences. But to get there and write a story that you or anyone else can connect with, you first have to deal with your reality and discover your own emotions.

If you just open that little treasure box inside your mind, you'll discover a lot about yourself, and once you open it, you can begin to deal with it. The beauty of creativity is that you don't have to deal with it through analysis or long discussions. You can deal with it in the most personal heartfelt way you know how. Through your own art and your own characters. Somehow, my songs always begin with my struggles, but they always end with a conclusion. Like any story, there has to be a beginning, middle, and end. If you start your story from the beginning (or even the middle!), eventually, you will find your own conclusion because there's no other way for it to end.

The True Definition of You

2015-03-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

It's funny how when you're a certain age, or when you're still trying to discover who you are, how you latch on to things to help "define" you, yet the only thing in this world that defines you ends up being you.

When I was 16, I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. If I could've become Buffy, I think I would have. I couldn't go a conversation without somehow connecting the show and I most certainly couldn't go a week, if even a day, without watching an episode (or a full fledged marathon!). I was obsessed with going to conventions, meeting the actors, and getting their autographs. I had to get prop replicas and always made fan music videos. Everything in my life somehow related to the show. If I was depressed, I was season six Buffy. If I was trying to work out my own teen years and problems in school, I was high school Buffy. My obsession with Buffy continued for a few years. Until one day, it didn't. Don't get me wrong, I still love the show. It will always be one of my favorites. But my world somewhere around 18 stopped revolving around the show and with each passing year, it slowly faded into the background.

Convention photo with Buffy the Vampire Slayer star, James Marsters, and my sister, Raishel

What changed? Me. My life. At 16, all I wanted was to escape into some fantasy world. Now, at 24, everything is so different. Back then, if I was given the choice to watch TV or go out, I would've gladly chosen TV (unless it was somehow Buffy related of course!). Now, given the choice, I would always choose spending time with my family or driving off on an adventure with my husband or working on some creative project.

It's ironic. At 16, I would've been the first person to defend why TV is amazing and necessary in life. In fact, I did so on many occasions with my parents. At 24, I understand it's entertainment value and to an extent, I still understand the lessons that a person can learn from a show. I mean, I did learn at six years old never to drink and drive thanks to Party of Five! It opens up conversations and it allows you to learn about different perspectives. However, shouldn't life do that? As a reformed TV addict, I now constantly wonder what good being obsessed with a TV show does. In the end, I feel like it can become more of a mask than anything else. Someone else's story that you use to hide behind when life gets tough.

I'm thankful for the people in my life, who without knowing it, helped me remove my mask and discover my passions and reclaim myself. Through some incredible life milestones, from getting married to moving to CA to opening our restaurant, I've learned that I don't want to escape my world, I want to embrace it. When things are complicated and I get scared of what's to come, I no longer turn to TV as my comforting friend. I turn to the people around me for guidance or support.

Our Wedding (September 3, 2011)

The truth is, no material thing in this world will ever define you. That's why our obsessions and interests change year after year. It's why something we loved one year may repulse us the next. Because truthfully, the only definition of you is what comes from inside. It's your thoughts, your feelings, your real world experiences. Everything else is just a mask. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to love these things and life wouldn't be life without having interests and hobbies, but the point is, it's also equally okay to wake up one day and feel differently. You should never let it define you because life changes and you're constantly evolving.

In the end, never lose sight of who you actually are at the core. Because that person is amazing and deserves to shine...and that is something a TV show (or any other obsession for that matter) will never provide.

Aroha Restaurant: This Valentine's Day...

2015-01-31T11:04:00.000-08:00

As the weeks countdown, I am getting more and more excited for Valentine's Day at Aroha. It's strange because I'm normally such a traditionalist when it comes to the holidays, and I partially expect myself to feel bummed out that I don't get to have my own romantic dinner with my hubby. However, reservations are already filling up and I'm incredibly excited for our special menu.

Gwith has been working with his molecular gastronomy set that I bought him for Christmas to learn some cool new things to do like making foams and sugar-glass shells. I've been encouraging him to practice these methods in hopes that he can use some on the Valentine's Day menu.

Speaking of which, we will be releasing our full Valentine's Day menu tomorrow online! At the moment, our menu includes some delicious (and romantic) options including Oysters with a citrus foam and micro basil, and my personal favorite dessert option, Dark Chocolate Kiss incased with white chocolate mousse sprinkled with gold leaf and rose crystals. For those with allergies and dietary restrictions, you'll be happy to know that our pre-fix menu is 100% Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Optional, and Vegetarian Optional as well. Each dish is also paired with a delectable New Zealand wine.

I'm going to start working on a romantic music playlist for that Saturday evening and I'm definitely brainstorming on decor ideas to make the restaurant even more romantic.

To finish off the evening, every guest will also receive a copy of my CD single, "Stepping Stone", the love song I wrote for Gwithyen before we married. The single will come with a small booklet telling our own personal Aroha story of how we met and fell in love. I am incredibly excited to share my music with everyone on this special day!

For those of you who won't be joining us for Valentine's Day, and would like to listen, please visit my music page or find me on iTunes. If you'd like to hear one of my more recent live recorded songs, listen below to "Hideaway".

If you haven't made a reservation yet for Valentine's Day and do plan on joining us, I highly suggest making a reservation now, as we're already 50% booked for the evening!

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30990 Russell Ranch Rd Unit C, Westlake Village, CA 91362
© 2014 Aroha Restaurant.

"Hideaway" - My Newest Song!

2015-01-20T11:33:00.000-08:00

I've never been brave enough before to post my rough song recordings anywhere public (other than to my Facebook friends) but I figured it was about time I broke my fear.

For the past few months, the clouds in my head have finally parted and I've been able to write new songs again...and I've written quite a few lately. It also helps that I've been getting much better at the guitar!

My latest song, "Hideaway", is dedicated to my amazing husband, Gwith, who is with me even in our darkest hours and is always there to pull me through. I don't know where I would be in life without him and I am grateful every day to have him in my life.

"Hideaway" Lyrics:

My love for you grows stronger everyday
and when I'm with you, you take my breath away
If I just close my eyes
will we be dancing in the skies?
If we just fly away
We can sway for eternity, hey hey.

CHORUS
I wanna hide away with you tonight
I wanna let my heart feel free to fly
I wanna curl into your arms and know
that with you, there's no place I'd rather go.

The days go by and all I want is you.
You're my everything, you're with me through and through.
If we just find a cave, will we be snuggling through the night?
If we just misbehave, we just might be brave enough tonight!

CHORUS

You hold me close, we're blowing in the wind.
Oh, the water rose, we didn't seem to mind...
If you just brush my face
Will I be melting in your embrace?
If we just feel the tide,
we can sail worldwide.

CHORUS x2

That with you, there's no place I'd rather go. x2

Aroha Restaurant: Our Craziest Night Yet

2015-01-18T21:57:00.002-08:00

I'm not going to lie - Saturday night was amazing in a lot of ways but today, I'm still feeling an endless amount of anxiety.

The truth is, nobody and nothing you do is ever perfect. And especially not on the first try. That night was definitely one of those examples. Things didn't run as smoothly as they normally do and service was slow, even though for us, it felt like a marathon was being run. First of all, our last "busy" night was in November, and we served around 65 people in 3.5 hours. Before that, we slowly built from serving 30 people on a Saturday night, to 40 people, to 50 people, etc. We still had a few hiccups with 65 people but in general, we had eased into it. Suddenly once December hit, our Saturday nights slowed to a halt. Last week, we served 30 people for 3 hours. So imagine our surprise this Saturday when 85 people showed up in a 2.5 hour timeframe...

For the very first time since we opened, not a single table at the restaurant was empty. It was amazing to know so many people had suddenly decided to give us a try. Of course, I've been wishing repeatedly that we and our staff had expected it!

With only four people in the kitchen preparing three course meals for 85 people within a 2.5 hour time frame, I'm surprised a majority of the tables actually got served in a timely manner. I was even more surprised while making the rounds from table to table that one table actually got their main courses too early!

Luckily, for the most part, the guests were incredibly understanding. They know we're new, they see we're working hard, and they have amazing confidence that we will get our pacing down. Unfortunately, there's always a customer or two that you can't rectify the situation with no matter what...and it completely kills me.

For me, it doesn't matter that 81 of our 85 guests were happy and understanding. In the end, all I can think about are those four customers who left unhappy. Why? Because I truly want everyone to be happy. I want everyone to have the best experience possible and to know that we couldn't give it to them devastates me completely. To make matters worse, Yelp, always comes around to haunt you. Again, countless five star reviews but when that one one star review creeps up, it's heartbreaking every time. I wish I could say I'm sorry to them or turn the clock back to make things run differently. But truthfully, no matter what I wish I could've done, I'm pretty sure if I repeated the day, it all would have turned out the same. No matter what, we couldn't be everywhere at once and I can't continue to beat myself up for it.

Because that's the thing. When you're running your very first business at 23 and 26 years old, or any age for that matter, your going to mess up. You're going to have an off day. But how else are you ever going to make something successful in life? No one succeeds at anything in life without screwing up the first few times around, because honestly, that's the only way you learn.

The most hurtful thing to me is to have our work be chalked up to being a result of "amateur management". The hardest thing about being a young business owner is that all of our mistakes are considered a result of us being young and therefore incompetent. Yes, we're young. Yes, things did not go as planned. That's not amateur, that's just life. For a fresh new business, there's no way mistakes aren't going to ever be made. However, many restaurants have these problems after years of being open, with experienced managers over the age of 40. In the end, I feel proud because we're only four months in. In four months, we've dealt with so many challenges and have managed to arise to the occasion practically every single time. So we made a mistake. Who hasn't? In the end, all we can do is learn and grow from the experience. And for the last year, my husband and I have done exactly that.

For the rest of our time in this industry, and in life in general, we will continue to learn from our negative experiences and use them to our advantage.

So to those customers Saturday night who left unhappy and angry, I am sorry. We didn't intentionally fall behind in the kitchen and we didn't intentionally avoid apologizing to your table. We will however, continue to intentionally work to fix these problems so they do not happen again on our future busy nights.

My 2014 Wrap-Up

2014-12-28T09:43:00.002-08:00

Have a Happy New Year Everyone!

This year has been one wild ride. If someone had asked me a year ago where I saw myself today, I guarantee I never would've imagined this.

It has not been an easy year. To be honest, it has probably been one of the most difficult years of my life thus far. I feel like I've been tested time and time again and some days it's been really hard to see whether I'm passing or failing. But if there's one thing I've learned throughout the year, it's that it doesn't matter. What matters is that you try. You give it all you've got. So many people let fear run their lives and it keeps them from experiencing everything this world has to offer. In the end, not trying is the biggest failure of all.

Last year, my grandfather passed away. While I've had other people I've known pass away, this was the first time it affected me as greatly as it did. When he and my mother-in-law both passed, a huge part of me shut down. Suddenly I realized how short life really was and I couldn't help but think about all of the people in my life right now who one day, won't be here. This feeling was so strong and caused me to push away from those I love dearly and dreams that I once had. After all, in my mind, why does it all matter if you can't trust that it will always be here?

In the past few weeks, I'm not sure how this realization finally came to me but it did. I realized how much it does matter. Doing things you dream to do and being with the people you love matters. It's the reason why just weeks before my grandpa died, he looked at an album of his life and said, "I really did have a wonderful life." I realize now that when he passed away, there was no fear. There was no regret. He passed away with a smile on his face knowing that in the almost 89 years he was given, he succeeded. He had a million stories, a family he loved with all of his heart, and a lifetime of memories. The good, the bad. It doesn't matter. In the end, it's all just one long story. So where does it lead? What is it all for? I guess those are just two of life's many unsolved mysteries. We don't know and we probably never will. But if everything in life leads somewhere, than maybe death isn't an end. Maybe it's a new beginning that we just can't see.

This year, I've gone through so much change. I feel like I've been spending months battling where I am in life. Am I enough of an adult or am I too adult? I'm 23 years old and I feel like I've been having a far too soon mid-life crisis. The truth is, there is no timetable on who you are or where you are. You just are. Some days, I want to feel like a kid. I want to talk for my stuffed animals, watch "The Little Mermaid", and daydream about my future. Other days, I want to feel like a teenager again. I want to walk around in my shorts and crop top, film a wacky video, and play The Sims. And then other days, I want to feel like my "grown up" self. I want to dress in my fancy clothes, manage my business, organize the house, and run errands with my husband. I don't know if this is what being 23 is all about for everyone. But for me, this is where I am in life. I'm a little bit of everything and maybe that's okay, because maybe, I'm supposed to be. In the end, this is me.

The conclusion I've come to as this year wraps up, is that it's time to stop running. I'm an adult, I'm a kid, it doesn't matter. I am who I am and I'll continue to grow and change. At the end of the day, I think adulthood is just about accepting responsibility and allowing yourself to grow. We spend all of our childhood and teen years fighting adults because we think they're holding us back from growing up. And yet, when it's time to truly become an adult, the only person holding us back is ourselves. It's a scary world. No one's ever going to argue with that. But at some point, we just each have to take that leap and allow ourselves to experience whatever the future may hold. Because in the end, not experiencing it is far more terrifying than anything else.

Every year since 2005 on December 31st, I've filled out a recap of the year. My recaps include everything from fun facts like my favorite TV show and how we spent the holidays to heartbreaking moments and greatest memories. My favorite part, is that every year I fill out a prediction titled "Next year will be the year of...". I never look at my recaps or predictions again until the year comes to a close the following December.

Here's what I wrote on December 31st 2013:

"Next year will be the year of...accepting adulthood, moving forward, and becoming a stronger woman."

It took me almost exactly a year to get there, but somehow, through all the struggles, the tears, and the doubt, without even realizing it, I did.

If I had looked at that prediction three weeks ago, I would've looked down, closed my eyes, and wished that it were true, but I would've known that it wasn't. It's weird how the heart and mind heals when you least expect it to. I don't know how or even when it happened. But just like everything else in life, it just did.

In almost every way, this year was full of the unexpected. Yet somehow, in almost exactly a year, I got to exactly where I wanted to be.

Where Did "White Collar" Land on My TV Show Finale Scale?

2014-12-22T09:46:00.001-08:00

On Thursday night, as I prepared to watch the White Collar finale, I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. I was hoping for the perfect ending and praying that it would not be another "Dexter" fiasco, or "How I Met Your Mother" for that matter.

I've studied TV shows for a long time. I've studied them for their patterns, their stories, and I truly believe that if a viewer loves a show so much, they should, without a doubt, know how it will end. The truth is, the point of the entire show should come full circle. You should know these characters so well that you can look at the finale and go, "That made perfect sense."

And "White Collar" was exactly that. The perfect finale. Did I see the ending coming? Yes. In fact, an hour before I watched, my mom asked me on the phone what I thought would happen. I told her, "I think Neal and Mozzie may steal the money. I'm not sure if Neal will take it in the end though. But I think he's going to fake his own death and then the show will flash forward a year later, show Peter and Liz with their baby, and then show that Neal is alive and well."

Do I mind that I predicted this finale? Not at all. I gave a lot of thought to the different endings, and truthfully, nothing else made sense. The writers were never into the heavy, heart wrenching drama, so they weren't going to kill Neal or Peter. I didn't see the writers ending it with Neal off his anklet working for the FBI...that seemed too "Beverly Hills, 90210", everything ends with a neat little bow. The ending "White Collar" gave was perfectly bittersweet.

Now, my main point of this blog post is not to just talk about my love for the finale. The point is, before I watched, I texted my parents (who were watching it before me!) and asked them, "Please tell me if this finale is a Dexter, a Chuck, or a Buffy."

Yes. I have a TV show finale scale...and this is it.

BUFFY THE VAMPIRES SLAYER

A Perfect Ten

Tears were shed. Lives were lost. Favorite characters died. But the battle was epic, the writing was top notch, and the characters ended exactly where they were heading. The tone of the show always set the stakes high (no pun intended!) and it was no shock that they would kill off some favorite, main characters. It wouldn't have made sense to kill Buffy because Buffy already died twice and came back. We all know she'd risk her life for the greater good. Buffy, since season one, had always wanted to be a normal girl. She never wanted to be the only chosen one with the weight of the world on her shoulders. And thanks to Willow's spell, she never had to be again.

CHUCK

The Full Circle You Didn't See

It took me a while to accept the ending of Chuck. However, once I accepted it, I realized how perfect it truly was. The show was never going to end with Chuck and Sarah running into the sunset together, quitting the spy life. That's not what the show was about. In "Chuck vs. the Honeymooners", the writers made it clear that Chuck and Sarah were spies at heart. But for five seasons, the other thing the writers made incredibly clear was that they were always there for each other. No matter what, they'd always come back to each other. Since the very first episode, Sarah sat down with Chuck on that beach and asked him to trust her. From that moment on, he trusted her with his life and she helped him become the confident spy and man he was meant to be. Flash forward five years later to Sarah having lost her memories. They're now on that same beach and Sarah is feeling as lost as Chuck was five years earlier. Now, Chuck is asking the same from her. He's asking her to trust him. Now, it's his turn to help her become the amazing woman she's meant to be.

DEXTER

This Is a Joke, Right?

Oh Dexter. As far as TV dramas go, this was the most devastating finale, EVER. For eight seasons, the show was about Dexter trying to rid himself of his dark passenger. It was about him realizing, or trying to convince himself, that he was more than a serial killer. Maybe he could be human after all. The show should've ended with the camera zooming out from his eye and revealing him on the electric chair. He had been caught, or he turned himself in. The viewer has to go with what they believe. But either way, he had spent this time on Death Row, reflecting on his past. Reflecting on what led him to this moment. Then, the moment he dies, he is finally, once and for all, at peace and rid of his Dark Passenger. That would've been perfect. But, oh no. They had to make him a lumberjack. And that was not, and will never be okay.

Those three shows are my basic scale. Of course, going more in depth, I have other shows I like to include too:

BEVERLY HILLS, 90210

Everything is Too Perfect

For a show full of crazy drama, they sure had the least dramatic finale! Donna and David get married, Valerie is no longer evil and all smiles with Kelly, Felice throws her daughter a bachelorette party, Kelly and Dylan are meant to be after all, and the show ends with them all hugging on the dance floor with the theme song playing in the background. This is the perfect example of what happens when you get the "happy ending" finale. It's just not right. Of course, I'd love to analyze how the show could've come full circle but for that, Brandon and Brenda would've still had to have been there. Since the show changed over and over again, I honestly don't have a clear vision on how this one should've ended. Maybe the writers didn't either!

DAWSON'S CREEK

This Breaks My Heart but OMG YAY!

It was crushing that Jen died. It was not something you saw coming. However, in the end, it led to Joey finally choosing Pacey...and seriously, what was more perfect that Joey choosing Pacey? The show from day one wasn't about Joey and Dawson falling in love. It was about can their friendship survive their hormones and the ups and downs of adulthood? It was also about Dawson's obsession with Spielberg. It was only fitting in the end that Dawson got the meet Spielberg and also could finally be happy for his best friend. Truthfully though, the show changed direction in Season 3 and became about Joey and Pacey. Dawson became the side character... Look, I'm going to come up with any reasoning I want for this ending because seriously, Joey and Pacey got back together and that is, and always will be, the only thing that matters.

VERONICA MARS

This Can't Be a Series Finale

The writers of Veronica Mars knew the show was most likely not being renewed, which is why this finale was so upsetting. The writers knew but they still wrote this episode as a season finale. It didn't wrap things up and everyone was left in a state of despair. Veronica thought she ruined her dad's career and Logan and Veronica were kaput. This ending made me hate the CW for the longest time and fear watching shows that didn't get proper wrap ups. Luckily, the movie wrapped the show up and I can now watch the series finale as the season finale it was written to be.

ANGEL

This Is the Main Purpose

I know a lot of people weren't satisfied with the Angel finale. But in my head, there were only two ways it could've gone. The way it did or with Angel shanshuing (becoming human). However, from the first episode, Angel's point was that he wanted to help people and he would always fight for the greater good, no matter what. In the end, it didn't matter if he lost or won the final battle. If he lost, that was it. The show was over. If he won, maybe he'd shanshu, or maybe he'd just fight the next battle that came his way. Either way, the final words, "Let's get to work", made perfect sense. There is nothing else he would've done.

Now...where did "White Collar" fall on this scale?

For me, when my parents told me the finale for "White Collar" was bittersweet, I'm not sure why, but I immediately expected a Chuck. Maybe it was because I was praying it wouldn't be a Dexter but at the same time, I didn't want to be devastated if it wasn't a Buffy.

I am pleased to say that the White Collar finale was most definitely a Buffy. Neal wanted his freedom from day one but he's also always cared about protecting the people he loves. Of course, the ironic part of this finale is that I don't agree with the creator's view on what happened. The creator believes that Neal went off to Paris to rob the Louvre because he couldn't change in the end. The creator also believes that Peter smiled because he's excited about the chase beginning again. Luckily, the show ended in a way where I can believe that Neal is helping the Louvre improve their security measures because he truly has changed. I can also believe that Peter smiled because his best friend isn't dead. That to me is how the show ended. And to me, that was perfect.

Aroha Restaurant: The First Busy Weekend

2014-11-10T09:39:00.001-08:00

We're two months in. Two weeks ago, during the World Series, I was feeling incredibly down because of the lack of customers. We knew it was because of the games but after only a month and a half of being open, you can't help but worry when you have slow nights! When this past week began, I was fretting over the number of customers we were having a night. We were hitting the numbers we needed to in sales thanks to some large groups but we didn't have a whole lot of customers. On Thursday, I was emotionally all over the place. After a week of having multiple staff members unable to make it in, our GM on leave for personal matters, and a slow flow of customers, I felt like I was hitting a wall. Keep in mind, I've never been in the restaurant industry before so my husband can tell me all he wants about how things will "even out" but it's impossible for me to believe it until I experience it.

Then Friday hit...

Honestly, I can't even remember what Friday lunch was like. I don't think it was packed, but it's all a blur. Friday evening on the other hand, was far from expected. Don't get me wrong, we knew it was going to be a good night when we had 28 people already reserved. But we didn't know we'd do more than double...and we definitely didn't know it would all be within about a two and a half hour time frame!

Friday Night, Full Patio!

Lets start with a little back story: since we opened, our staff has been taking tables on rotation instead of sections. Originally, this was because when we did sections, one server would end up with ten tables and another would end up with one. In the end, rotating seemed like the best idea. So on Friday night, we did what we always do. We rotated. Our three waiters rotated to tables covering the front patio, the back patio, and the inside. To make matters even more confusing, they had to remember the front patio was there, as we only added it this week and this was the first time people sat there! All of this resulted in each of our waiters running from front to back to take care of their randomly interspersed tables. Needless to say, it was not easy. As the one hosting for the evening, I had to track each of them down every time there was a new table and tell them who had it. It was a good thing I wore my tennis shoes that day! Being quick on my feet was definitely a must.

Back in the kitchen, Gwith and Noe (our Sous Chef), were training our new lead line cook. He had trialled with us earlier in the week on a very slow night, but this was his first night really learning a majority of the food! What a night to learn! He did a fantastic job but again, as he was still learning the menu, it was definitely a feat for the kitchen to get about 65 customers fed in a timely manner within a short time frame!

On Friday night, we didn't really get to talk to the customers because it was such a hectic night. Our waitstaff didn't hear many complaints though and the customers we did chat with were all very happy. At the end of the evening, I couldn't help but feel anxious because I didn't get the chance to really know how the customers POV was. For us, we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off. With that said though, any previous time the staff has felt overwhelmed, the customers have rarely noticed. Regardless, I still hope the customers were overall happy despite any hiccups that may have happened! It was the first night our two patios were packed and like always, customers like to show up at once! The majority of our 65 customers showed up between 6:00 and 7:30 pm. It was incredible to have some regulars show up, ask for the back patio, and have to inform them the tables were all reserved or taken. They were as surprised as we were. Last time they had been at the restaurant, there were always plenty of tables to choose from! Note to all of our future guests: I think it's time to begin making reservations for Friday and Saturday night...

Oh yes. Now onto Saturday...

When Saturday began, we already had 32 people reserved (more than we had on Friday). After learning some things from Saturday, we made changes to the front of house. This time, each of our waiters had sections, except for the inside. Because our patios are such a hit, the inside rarely fills so we rotated that area instead...I think you know where this is going. Of course, Saturday had to be the first night that we not only filled the back and front patio, but the inside filled up as well! For the waitstaff, I'd say the night overall went a lot smoother than Friday. It was still hectic and busy (we probably need to add a third runner/busser for these busy nights!) but at least our waiters weren't running from the front to the back to find their tables. Next week, I'll probably be sectioning off the inside too. For the kitchen, however, things were almost the same at the previous night, except besides training the new line cook, our other line cook was tired and under-the-weather. In the end, as far as we know, there was only one table that waited far too long for their food. The ticket got pushed aside and the food took an hour to come out! We felt so bad and of course comped their main courses. Luckily, these guests were incredibly nice and weren't angry or anything. We were definitely grateful for how understanding the customers were throughout the evening.

In terms of staffing, we will have to wait to see how things go again next weekend. The front of house should be a lot smoother with sections, and if we get an extra runner in time, while not necessary, that will definitely help them out. The back of house, we won't know if we need another line cook in the kitchen until we see how everything flows once our new staff member knows the menu. We still may need an extra hand but again, we won't know until everyone is at their smoothest.

When we could, Gwith and I managed to get to at least 50% (if not more!) of our guests for the evening and all of them were happy with the food and service. As the evening came to a close, I felt far more relaxed than Friday night because I knew the customers, overall, had a great experience. We only had two truly unhappy customers who complained to us directly all weekend and we are so happy that it was only two considering how crazy it was!

The Aroha staff celebrating a job well done on Saturday night after service!

So Friday and Saturday came to a close. And yet through all the madness,
It never could've prepared us for Sunday...

For Sunday we open for brunch. Brunch is never busy. Brunch is normally dead. We know its going to take a while to build but honestly, some days I second guess if we should even be opened at 10 am for brunch! In the kitchen, the two line cooks both called in, unable to make it. So, Gwith had to in list one of our waitresses for the shift, who also doubles as a line cook other days of the week, to help in the kitchen instead of on the floor. In the meantime, until our other server arrived, our busser took the tables that came in. It was a slow amount of tables and everything seemed okay. At around 11:30, our other server was supposed to show. When our server didn't, our busser continued to serve the tables. Forty minutes went by and Gwith and I sat down, while I ate, and we happily said to each other that we were glad it was slower today. We were both so tired from the previous two days and because we were short staffed, it would be quite a challenge if we were busy...Why we said this, I don't know. Everyone knows that once you say something like that, you jinx yourself. Because right then, the fates clearly heard us and said "Challenge accepted!". At around 12:30 pm, in walks a party of eleven. Yes, eleven. And then a bunch of tables of two. Our busser who had never served before ended up being a one man show and serving (and bussing!) what ended up being 30 people on his own, while Gwith ran in and out of the kitchen to help serve, bus, and cook, and Becky was the one woman show in the kitchen. I ran around trying to clear tables, check on customers, and seat people. Needless to say, it was a madhouse. Thankfully, we managed to call in our other busser, who willingly came in to help. Still, he didn't arrive until about an hour later, so Gwith was on the floor and in the kitchen for quite a while before he could truly help Becky out.

Sunday night was a good night, customer wise. Although, my husband may have a different opinion! We had some large groups, about 35 people in the end, and for the front of house, even when short a server and our GM, things ran pretty smoothly. For the kitchen however, it was another story. It was just Gwith and Noe cooking three course meals for 35 people in about an hour time frame, because again, everyone always comes around the same time! They did it but apparently they were running around quite a bit to get it all done!

It would be an understatement to say that we are SO GLAD it's Monday, and we're closed. We look forward to future busy weekends but hopefully we'll actually have a full staff of employees for those!

Thank you to all of our guests for being so understanding and fantastic! We look forward to seeing you all again soon. And definitely, definitely, make reservations if you want to come in on a Friday or Saturday night, and request indoor or outdoor seating. We will do our best to accommodate you. The earlier in the evening your reservation is, the easier it will be to hopefully give you the seating location you want!

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Aroha Restaurant: Breeders' Cup Taste of the World 2014

2014-11-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

On Friday night, Gwithyen and I had the honor of representing New Zealand Cuisine at the 2014 Breeders' Cup Taste of the World event hosted by Bobby Flay! It was an incredible experience that will stay with us for a lifetime.

The past two weeks leading up to the event, nerves were definitely flying high as Gwith prepared and had to focus his attentions fully on Taste of the World, rather than the usual day-to-day service at Aroha! His sleep became less and less as he got ready for the restaurant's biggest event thus far. During the days leading up to the event, Gwith had some of our team members in the Aroha kitchen help prepare, including Becky, our line cook (and also server), who sliced the majority of our venison carpaccio for the event!

On Friday afternoon, we arrived at the Huntington Library's prestigious East Lawn, where we, and five Le Cordon Bleu volunteers, unloaded all of the food from the car and brought it into the purple decorated tent. As we wandered in towards our booth, we looked from side to side reading the names of the other 14 world-renowned chefs representing their countries, including Iron Chef Eric Greenspan, Michelin star restaurant chef Brendan Collins, food writer & TV personality Martin Shanahan, and award-winning pastry chef Francois Payard. We felt so honored to be representing New Zealand Cuisine among this talented group of chefs.

Gwithyen platting his Venison Carpaccio

After setting up his station, Gwithyen wandered over to the Irish table and introduced himself to Executive Chef, Ed Cooney. Just moments into the conversation, they discovered they had a mutual friend in common. Gwith worked under a talented chef in New Zealand who also happened to be Ed's Sous Chef in Ireland! It's crazy how small this world is! Ed, who has showcased his food for multiple years at Taste of the World, gave Gwith and I some helpful information, including how to pace ourselves. He let us know that it would start out slow and steady and then we'd just be hit for two hours straight. And wow, he couldn't have been more accurate!

Gwithyen Thomas and Ed Cooney

As the doors opened at 5pm, people slowly started trickling in. As I stood there, I even began thinking, "Maybe we shouldn't have plated so many dishes right away! There doesn't seem to be enough people." Within a blink of an eye though, I ended up eating those words. Before we knew it, hundreds of people started approaching our table. Our team couldn't plate fast enough! We would set 40 plates on the table, Gwith would turn around to begin plating more, and within two minutes, I would've handed off all 40 plates. Not only were people loving Gwith's venison carpaccio, they were coming back for seconds and thirds! Throughout the evening we had people telling us our venison was the best dish at the event and guests were recommending our table throughout the crowd! Among all of these other established chefs, that was an amazing compliment. The chefs from the other tables began approaching us as well and snagging a plate or two. My favorite moments though were when a guest would come over, read "venison" and shy away. Every time this happened, Gwith told them that once they tried it, they'd never look back. And sure enough, they'd each try it, and their faces would fill with joy as they swallowed their first bite. Within moments, they would turn around, walk to their group of friends, and bring them back to the table!

Amongst the 1,200 guests, we eventually had host and celebrity chef, Bobby Flay, come over to the table. He thanked Gwith for being there and after a short conversation, walked off with Gwith's venison carpaccio. The following day, Gwith chatted with him again. Not only did Bobby remember Gwith's dish, he said it was "excellent" and he will definitely be visiting our restaurant in the future.

As the night progressed, things only became crazier! At times, we would run out of plated food and guests would begin lining up at the table, with forks in their hands, waiting for the next plate. It ended up getting to the point where Gwith was plating a single dish at a time, handing it to me, and I was handing it straight to a guest while he'd begin plating another one. I even tried speeding up the process by drizzling olive oil on the plates and garnishing the dishes myself...which speaking as a non-chef, I have NO idea how Gwith drizzles olive oil while covering up the nozzle with his finger. I tried it and all I got was olive oil on my hand...not the plate. Clearly this is one of the many reasons I'm not a chef! Part way through, I looked at my phone to get a glimpse of the time. I was thinking, "Surely we only have another hour or so left! We've served hundreds of people, time must be flying by!" Ha. We had only been serving the flood of people for about fifteen minutes and we had about 3 hours left to go! By around 8:45 pm, it finally began to calm down. The tent slowly cleared out and we began having a steady flow of individuals stop by to taste the food, or return for their second, third, or fourth serving!

As the event came to a close, we packed up, and headed out of the tent into the pouring rain, where we were driven back to our car by a golf cart. The next morning, we got dolled up to go to the Breeders' Cup World Championship and hang out in the VIP Trophy Lounge. We had lots of fun placing a few bets (that we always lost on, of course), and chatting with the other chefs. Around 2 pm, we headed to the Winners Circle where group photos were taken of all the chefs and the BC Turf Sprint winning horse and owner, Bobby's Kitten, were awarded their trophy from Bobby Flay. In the meantime, my parents and sister stayed at home watching the Breeders' Cup on NBC Sports. While they caught glimpses of Gwith and I on the TV during the Winners Circle, we were most excited to see Gwith's venison during the Taste of the World segment. I later discovered this segment was also on the regular NBC network too! Besides being on NBC and NBC Sports, Gwith (and his venison!) were also on HRTV.

Click here to see more photos and the HRTV video from our experience at Taste of the World.

Gwith and I on the Trophy Lounge's Purple Carpet at the Breeders' Cup World Championships

Needless to say, these past few days were amazing and we hope to experience it again in the years to come! If you'd like to try Gwith's venison, make reservations online now at our restaurant in Westlake Village, California.

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Aroha Restaurant: The Yelp Effect

2014-09-30T15:15:00.000-07:00

Before I go into this blog, let me start by saying that these first three weeks at the restaurant have been great! Our numbers have been increasing, we already have a large sum of regulars, and at least 90-95% of our customers have been happy with the food and service; there will always be those couple individuals who don't understand our concept (casual fine dining) or enjoy the food, as is the same for any restaurant in this world.

Since we've been opened, we've had a handful of Yelp reviews. For the most part, we've had a lot of 5 star reviews, and all but two are from people we've never met before. The people we know who did leave reviews, didn't leave them because we asked them to. They left them because they genuinely liked the food and their experience. They have been full paying, repeat customers, who live in the area and deserve to voice their opinions like everyone else.

The most mind-boggling thing to me is why other people who didn't enjoy the food feel the need in their reviews to accuse the other reviewers of being fake. Is there no room for different opinions anymore in today's society? Does everyone have to announce that they know best? The truth is, when we receive a review from a customer outlining a negative experience they had or witnessed, we take it seriously. We want to deal with every problem head on and fix it. When a customer has an issue at the restaurant and tells us, we always do what we can to turn their experience into a positive one. Because we always make sure to take care of customer complaints, I find it incredibly upsetting to see a customer bash our restaurant on Yelp without letting us address the complaint while they're at the restaurant.

We're a new restaurant, and like every new business there are always going to be a few hiccups. Unlike a lot of other businesses though, we want to see the hiccups. We want to deal with the problems and make everything as perfect as possible. However, without constructive criticism, it's impossible to truly know what is an issue and what isn't.

For example, if someone complains in a review that everything they ate was bland and not seasoned to their liking, while more than 95% of our 930 customers are all satisfied, does that mean that this individual's food wasn't done right in the kitchen that night, or does it mean they just prefer spicy food and all purpose seasoning? The truth is, without being told the complaint at the restaurant, we have no way of deciphering the root of the problem. Had this complaint been heard, we would've comped the meal, returned it to the kitchen, and the kitchen would've checked the food to see if there was something they did wrong. If they did it wrong, they'd know for next time. On the other hand, if it tasted as it should, that may just mean our food isn't this customer's cup of tea. We would still comp them the meal. People aren't meant to like all of the same things. If everyone was supposed to like the same thing, then every restaurant's menu, according to my tastebuds, would only offer salmon and shrimp sushi, a half rack of ribs with french fries, duck, and gluten-free pineapple-coconut fried shrimp. For some odd reason, I've accepted the fact that, lets say, the Cheesecake Factory hasn't added these food items in replacement of their 20 page menu that I can't actually eat anything from.

Some complaints are easier to deal with then others. On one hand, certain complaints about portion size we want to deal with, to satisfy our customers. However, it can certainly be confusing when 60% of your clientele tells you they're happy to finally go to a restaurant and not get an oversized portion they can't finish, and the other 40% tells you they're still hungry and need more. We're working on finding that happy medium for these customers but I'm sure it will take a little time to figure out. Because these comments are constructive and customers have suggested different things they'd like from more vegetables to giving amuse bouches, etc., we're actually able to look into the issue and work on solving it. We're not just given a string of complaints with no solution. I really appreciate the customers who have taken the time to give us these constructive critiques and help us try to improve our business.

At the end of the day, I have to remember to just listen, breathe, and understand that not everything is for everyone. I'm not going to lie. At 23 years old, I may recognize that that's the way the world works but it's still definitely not easy to hear someone bash a business you've put your heart and soul into. It makes it hard to sleep at night and because of my health issues, it can also make it hard to eat somedays. It's a lesson that I'm still learning and something I have to come to terms with. In the end though, I appreciate every single customer whether they have loved our restaurant or they haven't and still have constructively told us what positive changes they'd like us to make.

To those who have dined at our restaurant already, thank you! We love seeing your smiling faces and it's a pleasure to serve you. And for those who haven't, we hope to see you there and hope to make your experience a positive one. Remember, if you do have a critique, let us know. We want to hear from you and we want to make your experience just as magical as we have for our other guests!

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