Inside Out

Twinkies Get a Minion Makeover Despicable Me Style (Sponsored Post)

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 11:20:00 +0000

This is what a Minion tastes like!

There are some things in life that kids simply cannot live without. Air. Water. Glitter. Then there are things that every kid should have at least once in their life, just to say they've truly lived. What would be on that list, you ask?

Twinkies.

Twinkies, ladies and gentleman, should be a staple of every childhood.

And now for a small confession ... my daughter is 8 years old. She JUST had her first Twinkie. I know, it's blasphemous. Worst parents ever? Sigh. Nobody's perfect y'all.

Thank goodness for Despicable Me 2.

How do these two things relate, you might ask? Well it wasn't until I saw a commercial for the December 10 release of the Despicable Me sequel on Blu-Ray that it hit me that Gru's wacky minions look exactly like, well, Twinkies!

Realizing we had fallen down on the jobs as parents, of course we rectified the situation immediately. Golden cake filled with creamy goodness introduced to 8-year-old, who immediately scarfed it down (see that picture above? It may or may not have cost me dearly to get her to slow down that munching for a snap).

And wouldn't you know it, the folks at Hostess are waaaaay ahead of me.

They're throwing a Twinkie party to celebrate the DVD release, and they're letting the world in on the shenanigans.

All you have to do is Minion-ize your Twinkie and upload the photo to the Hostess Facebook page to win anything from the Despicable Me 2 Blu-Ray to Hostess offers or -- this is the grand prize -- a Home Theater System, a collection of 30 Blu-rays and a year’s supply of Hostess treats.

Want in? Dress your Twinkie up like a Minion and upload it to the Hostess Facebook page.

That is if your kids don't eat them first.

What's your kids' favorite Hostess treat?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by Hostess, and I received compensation. However, all opinions expressed in this post are my own.

Mary Poppins Looks Good for 50, Doesn't She?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Tue, 03 Dec 2013 21:23:00 +0000

Hold on a second, did you know Mary Poppins was 50? Well, not the flying nanny herself, of course. She's practically perfect, and absolutely ageless. But the movie that everyone and their mother is talking about these days, thanks to Disney's holiday flick Saving Mr. Banks, is turning 50 years old!

Aaaaaand now you know what my daughter is getting for Christmas, because, of course Disney couldn't let a very jolly holiday like this pass by without bringing the old girl out of the vault and spiffing her up for a special 50th Anniversary Blu-Ray.

Some of my joy over this may be that our old DVD of the film seems to have disappeared at some point. I kept meaning to replace it, but I've tried to limit movie purchases to films on Blu-Ray, so I was waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

We've seen Mary Poppins on Broadway -- one of two Disney Broadway productions we've seen, and by far my favorite. Not having it in the house was unacceptable.

So when it arrived a wee bit early for the December 10th release (blogger disclaimer: I got a review copy to check out ahead of time), it didn't take a spoonful of sugar to convince me this was a sweet treat. What? Too many Poppins-isms?

OK, OK. It's just that the film is one of the childhood classics that's left us with so many sayings we can't get out of our heads. Name a kid who hasn't convinced themselves that spelling supercalifragilisticexpialidocious makes you a genius!

The Blu-Ray brings all that, plus a Mary-Oke of some of the greatest songs ever created AND, OK, I'm kind of geeking out here, aren't I?

Point is, this is one Blu-Ray that you need in your collection not because it's a Blu-Ray but because it's MARY POPPINS, and you don't want to be the one who denied a kid Mary Poppins, m'kay?

What is YOUR favorite Mary Poppins song?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Disclaimer: I received a copy of Mary Poppins on Blu-Ray to facilitate this review. All geeking out is my own.

Infamous 'Drunk Mayor' Gordon Jenkins Isn't Who We Are

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 27 Nov 2013 17:05:00 +0000

Well, it's happened. Sullivan County has now gotten another 15 minutes in the national spotlight thanks to (or should I say because of?) Monticello Mayor Gordon Jenkins and his recent arrest on charges of DWI.

The Daily Beast website has listed him as one of the nine lousiest mayors out there, ranking him only just slightly below Toronto's infamous foul-mouthed Rob Ford, aka the guy with an alleged crack habit.

News outlets from Washington D.C. to the midwest have the town "Monticello, New York" plastered in headlines.

Got that, folks? It isn't just Gordon Jenkins, whose foul-mouthed and racially charged booking videos have horrified the nation. It's Monticello.

Monticello is -- whether the residents like it or not -- tied to their mayor and being dragged into every single news mention of his antics.

And Monticello is -- whether the rest of us in Sullivan County like it or not -- tied to us.

We don't vote on the village's politicians, so some may say we don't have a horse in this race.

But by mere proximity and its designation as our county seat, this national embarrassment is one we all bear.
Is this the Sullivan County we want out there? For the rest of the world to point fingers and mock?

It's been fun reading the Facebook comments on the whole matter. I could have spent my Sunday afternoon with a bowl of popcorn in front of my computer if it weren't for a belly full from a lovely meal at a local restaurant already.

More From Inside Out: Hunting Isn't Pretty But It's Part of Life

I'll even cop to having engaged a bit, because this is my county, I take its matters seriously, and if I didn't laugh, I'd cry.

But after a good sleep, I woke to a bad taste in my mouth over it all.

We aren't helping.

We are frustrated. We are angry.

As well we should be.

But the division I'm seeing isn't going to make it any better.

We already face the stigma of small towns as backward, as only able to get in their own way. There's already an uncomfortable line between many locals and second homeowners over the notion that "outsiders" come in and think they can run our towns better than we ourselves can.

The only way to end that? Is to put up a united front. To make smart decisions.

To move forward in a way that tells the rest of the world that this bump in the road represents one man and his personal issues not Sullivan County as a whole.

WE are better than this, Sullivan County.

Let's act it.

Here's the first crazy video -- including the infamous clock-throwing incident:

What can we do to get past this?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Image via Carmen Rue/YouTube

Giveaway: My Little Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle Figure

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Mon, 25 Nov 2013 22:16:00 +0000

Parents, do you ever look through your kids' toy box and feel a heady rush of deja vu? There's Strawberry Shortcake and the Ninja Turtles, and over there is a Care Bear giving you a stare. The marketers know exactly what they're doing. They know we parents can hardly resist the siren call of nostalgia. This holiday, I'm betting it will be the song of My Little Pony parents are hearing on Black Friday and in the weeks that follow.

And I do mean that literally

Hasbro has come out with a giant My Little Pony Princess Twilight Sparkle figure that not only rocks a seriously long mane -- perfect for hours of brush, brush, brushing to your heart's content -- but press a button on her hindquarters, and she sings too. What little MLP fan could resist?

Certainly not the little girls who noticed an MLP Princess Twilight Sparkle sitting in my guest room, waiting to go up as a giveaway on Inside Out.

They informed me it's all they ever wanted (well, that and a rainbow loom, and maybe a few dozen other things ... kids ... so fickle!). Still, from the way they were slobbering over it, I'm thinking this is a bona fide holiday hit.

I had to wrest it from their clutches, folks, and I was very nearly glitter bombed in the process, but I did it -- just for you. The hot My Little Pony this season retails for nearly $50 (at Toys R Us ) but you can get her for freeeeeeeeee. Just enter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Hunting Isn't Pretty But It's Part of Life

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sat, 23 Nov 2013 15:28:00 +0000

"You might want to wipe the blood off your shoes before you get in the car." No, that's not the beginning of a police procedural TV show.

It was a warning from a friend Sunday afternoon as we left a local restaurant that plays host to one of the many deer contests her in the county. The reminder that a hunter had just pulled in to show off his prize wasn't in the restaurant but outside on the pavement.

I looked down at the bits of red on my sneakers. I wiped them in the grass. And I walked to my car. It was only as I settled in my front seat that I was struck by my own non-chalance about the whole thing.

Just last week, I was witness to an Internet kerfuffle over a celebrity who posted a photo to Instagram of herself, her husband, their toddler, and a dead deer. The outraged interwebs accused her of exposing their little boy to "violence."

In truth, I'd seen the photo before the explosion of outrage because I'm on the "Teen Mom" beat at The Stir, the website where I write daily. When I'd looked, I hadn't seen violence. I'd seen a family that will have a freezer full of venison.

And I, quite simply, moved on.

Does this mean I'm immune to violence?

Cruel? Inhumane?

Of course not.

It's simply a matter of city versus country, of experience with the subject at hand.

More From Inside Out: She Said She'd Shoot My Dog ... In Front of My Kid

Dead deer to us "country folk" aren't slaughtered for the fun of it; they're killed to feed families.

They're killed to thin the herd, to keep them from wasting away on their own from lack of food.

But you know this, don't you? Anyone who lives in the country knows that hunting deer is not violent so much as it simply is.

This is how food gets to the table.

Animals are taken down.

Killed if you will.

They are processed. They are eaten.

We know this.

And yet, when I wrote about Teen Mom Mackenzie Douthit's dead deer debacle on The Stir, one outraged reader told me it was irresponsible for families to go out and hunt deer because we don't have a shortage of food in this country, there is plenty to go around.

Where do they think that food comes from, I wondered. How do they think it GETS to a supermarket?

I guess it's just easier to think about eating it when you don't have to get your hands ... or your sneakers ... dirty.

But life ain't easy here in the country.

Are you a hunter? How do you respond when people criticize it?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Tell Me Again That Dogs Are Stupid ...

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sat, 16 Nov 2013 02:30:00 +0000

Who you calling dumb?

If there's one thing I've learned from working at home, it's that dogs are a lot smarter than the human race gives them credit for being.

Case in point: this morning I walked upstairs to grab something from my bedroom after more than an hour in front of my laptop, banging away on the keyboard. I'd gotten real work done already.

There my dog lay, stretched out, snoring. In my bed.

To the people out there - I'm not naming any names here folks - who will tell you that dogs are stupid animals, I offer that image.

It could be said that there are two types of people in this world: pet people and those who look down their noses at us from within their perfect homes where nary a tchotchke is broken or a blanket shredded.

It's not that I wouldn't love a couch that remained fur-free for more than 10 whole seconds after being Swiffered. I may have had a dream about that a week ago.

We can agree on the benefits of pet-free life.

But please, don't call my dogs stupid.

They're really not.

I recognize this as I rise from my perch in front of my computer not once, not twice, but at least eight or nine times during my work day to serve as doorman (doorwoman?) for one of my four-legged creatures.

I recognize this at nights when I attempt to roll over, only to be foiled by the heft of a hound blocking my roll.

Yes, I'm one of those people who lets the dog in the bed. According to one Purina survey, as much as one in five Americans are guilty of the same. They know what I know: cold toes are made warmer by warm dogs.

See! The dog is so smart, she's even got me convinced there are benefits to having her in my bed at night.

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Grab All the Christmas Movies ... It's TIME!!

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 02:52:00 +0000

America! Halloween is over. We are half way to Thanksgiving. Do you know what this means? It's officially time to bring out the Christmas movies again! Or as those of us who like to indulge all year round like to call it "time to tell the rest of the world we just pulled them out because" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).

And this holiday season just got a little bit merrier. Disney has done one of their vault openings and brought out not one but two holiday classics.

Winnie the Pooh: A Very Merry Pooh Year and Mickey's Christmas Carol both got the Blu-Ray treatment this time around!

Aside from the fact that Mickey's Christmas Carol is making me feel old (how could it be time for a 30th Anniversary Edition, HOW?), when I got the news from Disney about this one, I felt like Christmas came early (yes, I promise that is the last of the holiday puns). Unlike a certain other Christmas Carol re-telling from the Mouse (cough, Jim Carrey version, cough, cough), Mickey's is a truly kid-appropriate version of the classic tale. But what really makes this Blu-Ray are the Disney holiday shorts that send me right back to childhood, especially Goofy's Art of Skiing.

A Very Merry Pooh Year is a newer film -- so new that I actually had it on DVD from the get-go -- but it's hard to beat an upgrade to Blu-Ray that comes with a regular DVD for the kids' little DVD player and the digital copy for the iPad. Think a little holiday entertainment for that trip over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house this holiday.

Basically, if you're a holiday movie fan (guilty) and a Disney fan (ahem), these two are worth adding to the collection.

What is YOUR favorite holiday flick?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Disclaimer: I received review copies of the films mentioned, but was not otherwise compensated. All opinions and Christmas tomfoolery are my own.

THIS Is Why You Don't Give a Kid Glitter

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Thu, 07 Nov 2013 20:46:00 +0000

Thousands of multi-colored glitter stars cover the bricks of my front steps at the moment.

Love the UPS man though I do (doesn't everybody love the man who brings the presents?), I haven't rolled out the glitter carpet for him.

After shaking out the rugs before throwing them in the wash, my front steps now serve as a warning to all who dare enter my home: you are about to enter the den of an 8-year-old girl.

In the past week I've found glitter in a batch of fresh-made cookie dough (while scooping out balls of dough to make cookies), on the toilet seat, at the bottom of a basket of clean laundry, in the crevice of my computer mouse, and on the dog. Wait, make that both dogs.

I feel like I'm living in Studio 54, only without all the drugs and with Radio Disney instead of a DJ providing the soundtrack to my pounding headache.

I have swept. I have Swiffered. I have scrubbed and scraped.

And yet, nothing has successfully cleansed this home of the shiny remnants of an epic sleepover.

At one point it was Play-Doh that we'd find everywhere and between the couch cushions. Then, when it had all dried up and we outright refused to buy more of the smelly childhood classic, she moved on to stickers. Look close enough at some of the doors in my house, and you'll see where more than some sticky paper was removed. Probably some of the walls too.

After that, the timeline gets blurry. Our house has survived Silly Bandz; although they might have been what killed the vacuum cleaner. Markers have come and gone and left their mark in the stairwell. And there isn't a bit of tender foot flesh that has not connected with a LEGO.

But glitter. Glitter!

Nothing can hold a candle to this shiny symbol of girlhood exaltation and it's unfailing ability to make you wake up, shuffle to the bathroom and find yourself staring into a mirror at a woman who appears to have just partied it up New Year's Eve style while she was sleeping in her own bed on what she thought were freshly laundered sheets.

Looking for the gift that keeps on giving? I've found it ... inside the batch of fresh-made cookie dough, on the toilet seat, and on a few of the pets running around these parts.

What happens to glitter in YOUR house?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Image via mjtmail (tiggy)/Flickr

If You Vote by Sign, Don't Bother Voting

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sun, 03 Nov 2013 19:19:00 +0000

For weeks now, we've all driven around the county and seen the same things over and over and over again.

Vote for Joe!

Re-elect Jim!

Susie's the one to turn this place around!

There sure are a lot of campaign signs. So many, in fact, that I'm wondering: what's the point?

Pardon me for being a bit of a downer, but does anyone really read election signs and say, "Huh, my neighbor thinks Billy Bob would be a good councilman, so I'm going to vote for him!"?

Really?

Familiarity with your name is more likely to get you votes on election day, if only because a number of voters go to the polls without bothering to inform themselves. They vote for the guy (or gal) whose name sounds the most familiar.

I get it.

And I'm depressed by it.

If you can't be bothered do much more than read some signs on your way to work and vote for the one who has the prettiest, the most, or has landed some prime real estate in you best friend's yard, might I suggest you just don't vote?

Blasphemous, I know. Voting is something all Americans should do.

And yet, voting isn't JUST your civic duty, folks. It's one of those rights that makes living here in the good old U.S. of A. so grand.

With rights comes privileges too, a need to actually do a little digging into the whos and whats of campaign promises, to figure out who is going to be the best for the job, not just who had the most money to throw at signs.

Here's the simple truth: your neighbor might be right. Joe or Jim or Susie might be the exact right person to vote for this November.

Then again, your neighbor may be Joe or Jim or Susie's second cousin who just didn't know how to say no to setting out a sign without starting off a family war. They could be voting for Tom or Dick or Sally instead, and they might be right to do it!

You can vote based on all of those signs; if you must.

Or you can actually make your vote count.

It's your right. Use it wisely.

What do YOU think when you see a sign?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

'Gravity Falls' -- The Best Kids Show You Aren't Watching -- Finally Hits DVD

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 21:16:00 +0000

OMG, it's finally here! Gravity Falls is out on DVD! What's Gravity Falls, you're asking?

Yes, this is the problem. Gravity Falls -- which features the voice of the hilarious Kristen Schaal -- might be the best kids show on television at the moment, but even Disney's DVD release makes it pretty clear it's getting the hype it should. The entertainment giant has released a collection of "Six Strange Tales," just in time for Halloween. Six tales. Out of two seasons? Come on, Disney! This show deserves better!

Not that the six tales aren't great; I'm not going to look this gift horse in the mouth (and I do mean a gift horse -- Disney sent me a review copy of the DVD ... blogger disclaimer and all that jazz). It's better than nothing, and it's a sign that maybe the network is

If you're a diehard of the show, you already know it follows 12-year-old twins Mabel and Dipper who use their summer vacation (yes, as the other great Disney Channel show Phineas & Ferb has taught us, all of the ultimate things happen on summer vacay) to visit their Grunkle (great uncle) Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon.

At first I gave it a wide berth because the animation was markedly similar to that of Fish Hooks -- a show I can't stand. Turns out Gravity Falls' creator was a writer on Fish Hooks.

But where Hooks is just plain annoying, Falls is quirky. It's smart. And it plays against stereotypes.

The episodes are driven by mysteries, mixing the dynamics of family vacations with every kid's taste for adventure and some supernatural shenanigans. Think Scooby Doo meets Harry and the Hendersons. And each begins with a word game in the opening credits which kids can decode with clues given at the end. It may be TV, but it's not melting their brains.

Oh, and a sure way to the heart of the mother of a daughter? Mabel is not the sidekick. She's every bit as important to the storyline as brother Dipper. Which is only made cooler by the fact that Kristen Schaal pretty much kicks ass.

So why isn't everybody watching?

Come on, folks, we want season one to hit DVD, so please, run out and buy the six strange tales. Let Disney know this really is the best show on kids TV!

What is your favorite Gravity Falls episode? Leave it in comments?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

The Moment I Learned to Just Accept My Age

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Fri, 25 Oct 2013 21:05:00 +0000

Never going to grow up

I'm not old. When I make that first step down the stairs in the morning, and my foot protests by cramping up, I certainly feel it. But according to the latest life expectancy statistics for Americans -- it's 78.64 if you're wondering -- I'm not.

I put this out there as a disclaimer because if you have a chance to chat up my 8-year-old, she will tell you, in no uncertain terms, that her mother is ancient.

In the past two weeks I have been accused of wearing "granny pants" (no, this is not too much information about my underthings ... she's 8 and thought baggy sweatpants qualify). I have been referred to as "old woman." And, in case the aforementioned were not clear enough, she flat out, to my face, announced, "You are old."

I thought I'd get around it when I asked, "But what does that make your Dad?"

She didn't even blink before responding, "Old .... er!"

Well, at least he and I are in this thing together.

I'll admit this whole being old thing is confusing. I'm too used to the opposite.

I was the child who skipped a grade in high school, making me the youngest in my class throughout school. I was always "the kid."

I married young too, and though we'd been married for nearly five years when we decided to have a baby, the growing number of moms waiting until their 30s -- or later -- to have their kids has often left me feeling like the odd mom out.

Even my young face, which I'm coming to appreciate more and more, has made for some uncomfortable moments over the years as I've been pre-judged as a teenager doing adult things when in reality I was a grown up just being, well, a grown up!

Suffice it to say, I've always yearned to be older, if only to fit in.

Yearned to be older, that is, until lately.

Because now, I am.

Good thing the husband is old .... er.

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

How to Waste 48 Hours

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 16 Oct 2013 21:06:00 +0000

Every weekend starts out the same way. Forty-eight hours stretch ahead of you with so much promise. You can finally paint that doorway, bake those cookies, and clean that toilet.

Forty-eight hours.

No more. No less.

And oh, the possibilities.

I know I did something useful this weekend. I'm sure of it. The toilet was cleaned. Check!

A few loads of laundry done. Double check!

And the compost barrel is now filled with evidence that I did indeed empty the crisper drawer to make way for new produce that I full intend to cook. Sometime.

I was good. Even as I longed to leave a person-shaped dent in the couch, I resisted. Most of the time.

I'm only 43 pages into the book I just started, and that's only because I couldn't sleep. I swear!

So how does it happen that every Sunday night, I'm looking around the house and wondering, where did all the time go?

Why every Sunday I'm thinking NEXT weekend is the one when I'll REALLY get things done? When that doorway will finally be rendered a pure shade of white? The cookies with the blueberries and the white chocolate chips that I've been craving since, well, last weekend (or so) baked and frozen to be thawed when needed?

When I will skip the five hours of wheedling and cajoling with the kid to clean her room and just send her outside to play while I tackle the mess without the "help" of someone who refuses to let anything be thrown away?

It can't be that I'm wasting my weekends. If the toilet was cleaned, you can rest assured no time was wasted.

But while the 24 hours of a Monday pass at a snail's pass, the 48 of the weekend get a running start and whip past me at tornado speed.

Maybe next weekend I'll figure it out. Right after the cookies.

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Giveaway: American Girl Bitty Baby Doll

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Mon, 14 Oct 2013 13:52:00 +0000

It's here, it's here, it's finally here! An American Girl doll that doesn't require hours of maintenance work to keep that hair looking fabulous! Even better? I've got one to give away!

Judging solely from the number of hits on this here website on the "American Girl doll hair fix" post I wrote a few years back, this is a problem for more moms than just me. But the folks at American Girl, in putting out a more traditional baby doll, have given us some sweet, sweet relief. Her name is Bitty Baby, and she's well ... look at her!

The Bitty Baby above is white with blue eyes and blond hair -- chosen simply because she's a match to my own daughter -- but the American Girl company has done right by girls around America with a variety of skin tones and hair and eye colors so your little girl can find a baby doll that looks "just" like her.

And did I mention she's got no hair? Well, OK, just the painted on close to the skull hair of an itty bitty baby. It's all the cuteness of an American Girl doll without all the work.

She's cheaper too -- Bitty Baby runs a cool $80 with a book and "wish star."

But you can get one for free!

The folks at American Girl have provided me with two (one to facilitate this review and one to give away). Want in? Of course you do ... and you know what to do:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

In Her Eyes, I Can See the Future

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sun, 13 Oct 2013 16:48:00 +0000

It's corny? So what ... it's true:

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Come on America, Is This the Best You Can Do?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sat, 12 Oct 2013 18:17:00 +0000

Chilling with Merida at Disney

What is it about vacation that makes Americans so crazy?

I spent last week with my family at the happiest place on earth -- Disney World. There were certainly happy moments. My daughter delighted in Tinkerbell's embrace, and she hooted and hollered with the best of them at the Main Street Electrical Parade.

But as the days went by, our patience grew thin.

True, the lack of sleep didn't help. Nor did the subsistence on that food group known as "vacation food" aka grease, cheese, and cardboard (usually masquerading as pizza dough or sandwich bread).

Neither, however, can be blamed for the inability to swallow the frustrations with some of the antics we observed.

Take, for instance, the folks standing in the center of a sidewalk, cameras aloft, taking photos of a rat. And by rat, I do not mean the well-loved cartoon character with which Disney is synonymous.

I mean the infectious disease carrier rodent from which normal people run (often accompanied by loud yelps).

Still, I'd much preferred these slightly perturbed folks to the ones who'd forgotten to pack their manners for the trip. The folks who couldn't be bothered to throw their litter in the (many, many, MANY) receptacles scattered throughout the theme parks. The ones who allowed the door to slam at their backs without so much as a "may I hold it for you ma'am?"

It's not just a Disney thing. Anyone who has rounded a blind corner on a Sullivan County road to find an out-of-county car parked (PARKED) in the center, the occupants standing outside, a small point-and-shoot camera aimed at a cow, knows that.

It's a vacation thing.

Vacation brings out the crazy in people. It brings out the rude in people.

Maybe it's the food. The lack of sleep. The feeling of being a fish out of water.

Whatever it is; I'm just glad to be home.

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

The Little Mermaid Is a Father/Daughter Tale for the Ages

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 20:21:00 +0000

We were walking into Fantasyland's relatively new Ariel's Under the Sea ride at Disney World when the seagull sensed movement and started talking. "Who is that?" I asked. "Scuttle!" my husband piped up.

I was asking our 8-year-old daughter, but the fact that the answer came from him should -- I suppose -- be no surprise. The Little Mermaid, now out in a new "Diamond Edition" Blu-Ray is one of the films that hails from a time when both my husband and I were still young enough to be taken to children's films. It came to the screens in 1989, turning Hans Christian Andersen's rather forbidding tale of a mermaid who (spoiler alert) kills herself after getting "all she ever wanted" into a eminently more kid friendly tale of a plucky young mermaid who goes after what she wants and ... surprise, surprise ... finds her happily ever after.

Still, he was not your typical The Little Mermaid fan; IS not your typical Little Mermaid fan.
What he is is a father of a little girl, a father who would do anything for said little girl ... even watch a movie full of song and dance about a mermaid. Even stand in line for 45 minutes at Disney to spend 2 minutes on a ride about, you guessed it, a mermaid.

It's a message of the Little Mermaid oft over-looked in the scuttlebutt (pun intended) about the songs, the feminist (or not) messages, and the fish-out-water storyline.

When Disney offered me a copy of the new Blu-Ray to share my thoughts with the world; I expected to be caught up in all of that, to perhaps be caught up in the fun of the crab-e-oke with Sebastian (I won't lie, I sang along ... you try not to; I dare you).

But the Blu-Ray of the Little Mermaid that I sat down to watch with my daughter is special for the fun extras -- including the addition of Carly Rae Jepsen singing the classic Part of Your World -- but what got it to this point, to being worth a "Diamond Edition" in the first place, is the story it tells about families, specifically about fathers and daughters (because, like so many Disney tales, the mother is long since dead).

King Triton does his utmost to keep his little girl safe, but at the risk of quashing her spirit. And when she rebels, he realizes it isn't what he wants for her that matters. It's what she wants; what makes her happy. It's a realization that our kids' have dreams far beyond those we will dream for them.

What is your favorite father/daughter movie?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

My 15 Seconds of Fame -- Or Was It 10?

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 02 Oct 2013 00:09:00 +0000

I've gotten a lot of the same comments this week when I've been out and about: "Hey, I saw you on TV!"

Yes, that was me you saw on the TV screen as you munched your breakfast and flipped through the channels, trying to find something worth watching. For about 10 whole seconds, my daughter and I were beamed into living rooms across the nation via Good Morning America. I will forever be known among my friends as the mom who admitted on national television that she doesn't bother to sit her kid down to eat cereal in the morning; we're a grab-and-go type.

That's all I had to say about the decline in cereal sales.

Or at least, that's all America saw.

I had a lot more to say about the impossible strain American moms put on themselves when they log on Pinterest and see these impossibly perfect breakfasts that uber moms are supposedly making every single morning for their kids.

I talked about the need to balance nutrition against the need to get my night owl kid some much needed shut eye in the morning.

I talked about the strain put on working parents who are trying to maximize time.

I knew very little would make it on the air. That's how these things go. My daughter was filmed all around our house: eating a breakfast bar (at 9 o'clock at night mind!), playing with the dog, and later "getting" that breakfast bar from me. Yes, they filmed her getting the bar after they filmed her eating it. I guess it's a good thing I'd just stocked up on more breakfast bars?

He filmed her getting up and down from the same stool some 5 or 6 times.

For folks in the TV industry, this is the norm.

For those of us aren't in the TV industry, it's a little strange.

Imagine your dining room being filled with lights and booms and mikes and cameras, your living room being disassembled and reassembled.

And then the same thing happening in your kitchen.

In all, there was a camera man in my house for an hour and a half.

For about 10 seconds of airplay and that one sentence on cereal.

But hey, at least people noticed!

Check us out on GMA:

Unfortunately your browser does not support IFrames.

Breaking News

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

She Said She'd Shoot My Dog ... In Front of My Kid

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Tue, 24 Sep 2013 19:44:00 +0000

You learn a lot about your neighborhood when your dog slips out the front door and decides to take your family on a run through the neighborhood.

You learn there are folks who will recognize your dog and stop their car to help.

You learn there are folks who will stop what they're doing to point in the direction they last saw him.

You learn there are folks who will grab a baggie of cold cuts and tempt your wayward pup with turkey so that your child can snap his leash on his collar.

And then you learn there are people who come charging out of their house to tell you they're going to shoot your dog.

For being on her lawn (for the first time that I know of, I might add).

In front of your 8-year-old.

I tried to stay calm. I used "ma'am" a lot, asked for a little human respect and compassion as I explained our predicament. She didn't budge. She insulted us for not having him on a leash.

Do you leash your dogs in their house? Me neither. But we did have leashes - two of them, in fact - as we tried to capture our dog, as we tried to do right by our pet and by the neighborhood.

And we had an 8-year-old who was out of her mind with worry about her puppy.

Actually, it wasn't just my 8-year-old. It was two 8-year-olds who were worried sick that our dog was going to run out in traffic and be hit by a car who were faced by an angry voice full of cruelty and violence, devoid of neighborliness.

You see, my daughter had a friend over on Saturday, and in the excitement of one 8-year-old greeting another, the dog slipped out the front door and decided it was a good day for a run.

We grabbed some leashes and all ran after him. Me. My husband. My daughter. Her friend. Her friend's mom.

We ran from lawn to lawn, yelling everything you yell to entice a silly dog to just come home already, would you?

"Treats! We've got a treat! Come here boy, and get your treat."

Still, he ran as hounds can only run, his long legs bounding over fences and around hedges.

He ran into stranger's lawns. I'll admit it. He hasn't yet learned the difference between "his" toys and my 8-year-old's. Expecting him to know the difference between our lawn and private property is, well ... did I mention we were chasing a dog?

And so he was on this woman's lawn. So were we as we yelled in increasingly desperate tones, for him to please, come back to us.

We didn't tromp through gardens. He didn't do his business.

He simply ran, and so did we. Until we were stopped by a threat of violence.

A threat made to two small children who were trying to catch one's puppy.

The irony that my daughter had just seconds before fretted to me that our dog was nearing the main road and could get killed by a car wasn't lost on me. Here was a child anxious that her dog was going to die, and here was a human being threatening to make it happen.

Thank goodness for those neighbors with the cold cuts.

Have you ever had someone threaten to shoot your dog? What happened?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Life on the Wrong Side of the Digital Divide

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 18 Sep 2013 21:34:00 +0000

I suppose I should have known better than to eavesdrop. But then, they could have spoken a bit more quietly. As it was, I was privy to a not-so-private conversation between some visitors to our county recently while waiting for a friend outside of a local restaurant.

They were nothing if not complimentary of our beautiful scenery. I agree with them wholeheartedly; we do have a pretty piece of countryside. But I can't say I agree with their assessment that Sullivan County is lovely for providing a chance to truly escape the hustle and bustle of city life.

They love visiting the Catskills because it's a place where their mobile phones don't work, where there is no ding announcing an incoming email message. To them, this offers a respite from the day-to-day.

Let me be clear: they love visiting because of this "advantage." They wouldn't live here.

They likely couldn't.

Not without those modern conveniences that so many depend on these days.

And this is where I am troubled by their assertions.

Living in a place so many would visit but would never call home isn't lovely. It's a problem.

How are we to attract real industry, real jobs, if we can't even provide Internet access to all of our citizens? At least not access of the type required to visit any modern day webpage?

Need I remind you that beautiful scenery doesn't pay the bills?

I didn't speak up, didn't insert myself into a conversation that I wasn't a part of, but I wanted to. As it happens, I live here in the boonies, but I'm fortunate to live in a small pocket of the county that's part of the digital age and thank goodness -- it provides my livelihood. Without Internet access, without cellphone access, I couldn't have my day job at a major American website. I couldn't bring in a salary from outside of the area that I use in local businesses, that I use to pay local taxes.

I'm not unlike those visitors in that respect; I couldn't live in much of Sullivan County either, my love for the area notwithstanding. I love this place, but I love being able to put food in my daughter's belly all the more.

And so I'm growing increasingly frustrated to live in an area where the emphasis on beauty is accepted as an excuse not to push us forward into the 21st century.

We are living examples of what is known as the "digital divide." We here in Sullivan County are the "information have nots."

Our workers are the "information have nots."

Our kids are the "information have nots."

And people outside of here know it. According to federal statistics, in the state of New York, there is no one living outside of a rural community who can't access high speed Internet. NO ONE. Residents of rural communities, on the other hand? More than 10 percent can't. That's a huge jump and a huge divide.

It says everything about what people outside of our community think of us. Sure, our hometowns are pretty, but they'd never live here and they'd never bring their businesses here.

And they'll let us know it too ... loudly.

My question: is anyone listening?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

10 Signs You're an Adult Now

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Fri, 13 Sep 2013 19:57:00 +0000

Know what this is? You're old.

I was perusing Facebook this weekend (or as I call it, taking a mental health break from editing photos) when I stumbled across a photo of two high school friends. They looked ... exactly like they looked two decades ago.

It should have made me feel young. Look! I went to high school with girls who still have it!

It did the opposite. They look like we just graduated.

I keep spotting grey hairs in the mirror.

When did this happen? When did I become an adult?

When did I start feeling OLD?

Was it when I became a mom? I don't think so. I left the hospital feeling like a teenager, wondering how they could possibly trust me with a human being. Were they nuts? I could barely balance my checkbook ... and now I had to balance motherhood and a career?

It's been 8 years.

It's gotten better. Or perhaps I've just come to accept that she's a kid, so I must be a grown up, or at least get really good at pretending to be one.

How does one pretend to be an adult? A few rules:

1. Getting excited about getting the mail is not done. You used to get cool magazines. Now you get bills.

2. Turn the music down ... or at least blame the kids for blasting that jam.

3. Buy kale. Eat kale.

4. Go to the farmers' market for the vegetables. Bypass the baked goods.

5. Stay home on a Friday night. Be happy about it.

6. Get up by 7 a.m. Every. Day.

7. Tell stories about "when I was young" to the cashier at the grocery store.

8. Be horrified that your teenage babysitter hasn't watched any of the classics ... like Top Gun. Rectify immediately.

9. Have a teenage babysitter. Remember when you WERE the teenage babysitter. Mention the latter frequently.

10. Moan about the price of gas.

I'm there. How about you?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Summer Will Be Back

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 04 Sep 2013 14:56:00 +0000

Well, I guess it's over. Summer, I mean. The kids go back to school tomorrow, and we adults go back to pretending we are, well, adults.

But it happened so fast.

Yesterday we were watching fireworks and flying the flag.

The day before that I was putting my daughter up on a tractor in the Callicoon parade.

That was last week, wasn't it?

There were so many things we did, and yet so many never done.

This is the blessing and curse of summer both: it holds such promise, so many chances, but only so many days to get them all done.

We didn't make the river this year. Again.

I was raised on the river -- literally, right in front of it, and yet I'm the mom whose daughter has never floated it. Shame on me.

Shame on the fast feet of summer racing toward Labor Day.

We didn't make the corn on the cob this year either.

Let me explain: we bought it. Several times. We just ... never made it. Somehow each ear got lost in the fridge and ended up in the compost pile. It will feed next year's tomatoes.

And don't get me started on the grand plans for the grill. Pizza! I've never made pizza on a grill! This was to be the year ... but we just ... never made it.

Just as we never made a concert at Bethel Woods this year (sorry Luke Bryan, I heard you were a looker), or hit the community pool, or, or, or ...

Oh summer, you are a fickle friend, and you are much too finite.

But word has it you'll be back.

Make it snappy, would you?

What did you miss this summer?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Giveaway: Phineas and Ferb Quest for Cool Stuff Video Game

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sun, 01 Sep 2013 17:34:00 +0000

There aren't a lot of "kid" TV shows we can agree in our house. This is why the kid has Netflix on her Kindle -- so she can fry her brain without frying ours (mom fail or mom win ... you decide). But Phineas & Ferb is one of those shows that's addictive. I will cop to watching it when she isn't home.

Heck, I'll cop to once having housed my iPhone in a Perry the Platypus case. OK, and wearing a Perry the Platypus sweatshirt (but, but, but it was from Hot Topic, so that makes it cool, right?).

You get the point: there is nothing better than watching Phineas and Ferb as a fam.

Except maybe playing Phineas and Ferb as a fam? The kid has long had a P&F game for her Nintendo DS, but when the new Phineas and Ferb Quest for Cool Stuff video game landed on my doorstep (yup, blogger perk), I was all over that thing like a fat kid on cake.

No more dreaming away the summer vacation, now we can actually surf tidal waves, create some nanobots and dig around Frankenstein's brain!

Or, well, you know, sit on our duffs in front of the TV and play the Wii together, but it's the thought that counts, right?

The kid is in love with the game at the moment because it provides the option to play as Phineas, as Ferb, OR as Agent P -- naturally doing battle with Dr. Doofenshmirtz. As she explained (in 8-year-old speak), "I'm IN Phineas and Ferb." Meaning she's in the show, I guess? The HD quality of the Wii U and the game's graphics quality combined to make it seem so -- they're top notch.

Phineas and Ferb Quest for Cool Stuff is available on Xbox 360, Wii U, Wii, 3DS and DS.
And now youuuuuu can have one of your very own!

The folks at Majesco Entertainment are offering up three games, each signed by the show creators Jeff “Swampy” Marsh and Dan Povenmire, to some lucky readers! Want in?

Make every minute count, jump up, jump in, and seize the day:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

I'm Dreading Back to School. There. I Said It.

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Wed, 28 Aug 2013 20:02:00 +0000

We're a week out from back to school, and I'm feeling conflicted.

Moms are dancing in the streets already, and I'm staring at them, nodding my head but not so sure I'm ready to get down and boogie.

In a week I'll return to crawling from my bed early, arguments over brushing out tangled hair, and saying "come on, let's go, hurry up" so many times I might as well record myself and set the iPod on repeat.

Back to school, ain't it grand?

As much as I'm looking forward to a return to quiet days in my house -- days when I can work, work, work as fast and furiously as possible so I can be done by the time the school bus chugs around the corner on its return trip -- there's something to be said for the summer routine we've fallen into.

Sleep, if nothing else, has become my friend. When you work at home, you can remain in your bed until 7:58 and still make it to work by 8 a.m., at least when school is not in session, when there is no cereal to pour, no homework folder to ferret out from the piles of paper on the dining room table.
And speaking of homework. I haven't missed it.

Certainly not the fights.

Not the sudden, "oh my God, I forgots" at bedtime.

Definitely not the acknowledgment that second grade (well, third now) math is much harder for the 30-something me than it should be.

Elementary math makes my head hurt worse than a 8-year-old's scalp after Mom's done working out a mane full of knots.

So go ahead, sing your back-to-school song and dance your back-to-school dance. I'll be in bed, getting sleep while I still can.

Are you dreading back to school?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Children's Book Giveaway: Giada De Laurentiis' Recipe for Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sun, 25 Aug 2013 20:07:00 +0000

A funny thing happened in my house this week. Well, two really. I had a weekday off from work, for one, and my daughter wanted to do exactly two things: cook a meal and watch a movie with me.

Which of these things is not like the other? With a self-confessed Disney obsession, let's just say movies are a regular happening in this household. Days off and Mommy and Me cooking, on the other hand? They don't happen as much as either of us would like.

I have a book to thank, more specifically Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis' new children's book series, Recipe for Adventure. Set for release in September, it's being hailed as a foodie's version of the popular (and ingenious) Magic Treehouse series and follows a little boy named Alfie (short for Alfredo) and his sister on food-fueled adventures through the world's culinary landmarks.

You see where I'm going with this, don't you?
My 8-year-old sped through Paris, book two in the series, and she had but one thing on her mind: eating.

Well, that cooking, but really that was just a means to a gastronomic end.

Specifically she wanted to eat crepes, which happen to be one of my few standbys for homemade breakfast (I admit we're more yogurt and cereal people than whip out the griddle folks in this house), but she had pulled out one of the two recipe cards that come with each of De Laurentis' new books. She wanted to make Giada crepes, not Mommy crepes.

And so we did:

Yum!

I'm never one to say no to a new book that my daughter enjoys, but I have a feeling we'll be working our way through the Recipe for Adventure series as much because it facilitates really fun Mommy and Me time as anything.

What could be better than a book that teaches your kids AND makes them want to spend more time with you? Score!

And now for the best news: the folks at Penguin have offered up one of the Recipe for Adventure books to an Inside Out reader. Want in? You know what to do:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?

Go Ahead: Tell Me I'm a Bad Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Jeanne Sager) — Sat, 24 Aug 2013 14:24:00 +0000

It was a rough week all around. At work. At home. Especially at home ...

I was not a perfect mom this week. I didn't have a perfect kid this week.

It's not that either of those things actually happens any other week, but this was a particularly bad one, and by the tail end of Friday, I was feeling like a failure. It's easy to get down on yourself as a parent: when the kids are acting up, when you've done everything you can possibly think of doing (Lengthy time out? Check. Taking away the electronics? Check. Telling them they will have to write an apology letter to the friend they were mean to? Check. Cancelling special events? Check ....), when you're losing your cool, when you feel like everyone else is doing so much better at it.

It's never been easy being a parent, but I'm starting to wonder if it isn't so much harder these days because everyone is willing to tell you how much you suck at it ... and plumping themselves up as bastions of parental greatness.

Go on any blog site, and read the comments. These people will tell you how wonderful they are at everything! Their kids never misbehave! They never lose their cool! And they can juggle six oranges behind their back WHILE making a perfectly balanced breakfast!

It sounds wonderful, doesn't it?

Well, it's bullshit.

We all have sucky days as parents. Sometimes we have sucky weeks.

I had one. But I did something different this week, something that was surprisingly therapeutic.

I admitted it.

I was a bad mom.

I put it all out there on Facebook -- well, not all, I'm not big on oversharing. I reached out to other moms and dads not to cluck my tongue about this, that, and the other mama doing something wrong on the playground but to get real, to admit that every day with kids is not a walk in the park.

And they did.

These were some of the stories I got (names have been redacted):

1. I seriously said to [my husband] yesterday "I am a bad mom. Because the children of good parents do not behave like this, right?" He reassured me that even the best parents in the world have kids who scream like banshees, run away from them in parking lots, and give them massive amounts of attitude when they have to leave a fun event to go home.

2. My daughter tells her friends their parents are going to die because they're old.

3. My son sticks his fingers in dog's butt holes and asks overweight women in public why they are so fat and I could go on.. Point being, kids are weird sometimes. You are doing great. I know. I have seen you in action:)

4. [My son] was acting up when I picked him up from the babysitter the other day and I said "I missed you all day and couldn't wait to see you and now your acting like a jerk" Now every time I say I missed you today he says "And I'm acting like a jerk?" Epic. Parenting. Fail. blah

5. i got 5 CALLS, 5!!!! In one day from a summer camp about my 7 year old's behavior. 5!!!! And then we had to find him a new place entirely after that. SO. seriously it happens to all of us. Or at least I hope it does or I'll feel like the worst mom ever. *hugs*

6. Well, I'm the worst mom today co my daughter has been watching TV for about 4 hours, is currently drawing all over her legs with marker and I just fed her cold leftover mac and cheese from yesterday. Yeah, I suck.

7. Well I know for a fact your kid is not the baddest kid ,because my 10 year old is. I got told by security in my complex that she was swimming in one of the pools in the complex, with her school uniform and her brand new shoes.

Why did I share these? To let the world know that my friends suck as parents too?

No.

I actually admire all these parents. I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't think they loved their kids and had their best interests at heart. I wouldn't want to be around them if I didn't think they were trying.

I share their downfalls because that's exactly what I needed last night: honesty. Reality. A community of parents rallying around me to say, "You know what? Perfection is a myth perpetuated by parenting magazines and Pinterest."

Parenthood can be absolutely fantastic. And it can absolutely, without a doubt, suck.

We need to remember that's OK; we need to re-convince ourselves that it's one thing to strive for perfection but another to actually expect it.

Our kids don't need the best. They need trying. They need the best they can get.

And we parents need to remember that when we talk to one another, when we talk about parenting. We need to stop talking about ideal and start talking about real.

Because kids -- and parents -- are human beings. We're not automatons, programmed to do things to a "t." We're people dealing with emotional and physical limits, with the ebb and flow of patience and compassion, with hormonal surges and the will to just blow this popsicle stand ... but the knowledge (and frustration) that that's not a valid option.

This is the truth about parenting, not some sanctimommy up on her high horse insisting she's got the secret to raising kids "right." Some days she is a bad mom too.

Some days, we all suck as parents. Some days, our kids suck.

But we are not alone, and tomorrow is another day.

What is your suckiest parenting moment? Care to share?

Have you "liked" Inside Out Motherhood on Facebook yet?