Evolving Self Discovery

2012-06-18T09:45:00.000-07:00

5 Points To Consider: Is It Normal Hesitation Or Is It Commitment Phobia? (via http://idatesmarter.com) Everyone has fears about making a commitment to another person for life. When we look at the statistics for divorce being at or above 50% and we

New Blog Update on Dating Smarter

2012-04-10T05:58:00.006-07:00

You too can datesmarter... Read my new blog about my dating program! "5 Things You Can Do To Find The Right One For You"

Want To Learn To Date Smarter?

2012-03-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am almost done putting my dating program together and it's pretty exciting! All of these years of thinking and trying different things in my own life and helping others to find and maintain healthy relationships is flowing out of my head and onto paper more easily than I imagined. I've been thinking of doing this for years but never thought I had enough time and didn't trust I could put it

5 Ways We Sabotage Our Relationships

2012-02-05T08:10:00.001-08:00

http://www.yourtango.com/experts/gina-schuchman/5-ways-we-sabotage-our-relationships

Working On Relationships

2011-12-26T09:10:00.000-08:00

If you are a "deep thinker", you are always trying to make your relationships better. What could I do better? What could my partner or loved one do better? What dynamics are at play that are not working for us? It's important to know that no matter how smart you are, nor how hard you try, you cannot work on a relationship if someone is active in their addiction or if there is untreated

Changing And Controlling Those We Say We Love

2011-12-18T07:22:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes I have people in my office talking about their relationships and I see them trying to force the other person to be what they want them to be and being continually disappointed in what they get. They feel wronged by the other person because they aren't getting what they need. Sometimes they don't ask for what they need and then pout and sit around all victimy when they don't get it.

What Impacts My Dating Patterns?

2011-10-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Every day I talk to people who are frustrated with their attempts to find the right person to date and join in a satisfying intimate relationship. I try to help them sort out all the different variables that are impacting their patterns of choice. Want to learn more? There are a few things that help people free themselves from the shackles of their bad dating patterns: 1. Look at what you've

Would You Like To Automatically Get Notices When I Blog?

2011-10-11T20:48:00.000-07:00

Did you know that by clicking on the orange box with the white lines in it you can sign up, anonymously, to get notices when I enter a new blog? Or you can sign up to be a follower towards the bottom of my blog page. Check it out!

Online Dating: Setting Boundaries

2011-10-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Often the idea of these first blind dates can be terrifying. You don't know what to expect, worry about whether or not the person will like you or if you'll be lucky enough to meet someone you might like. How should you act? What should you wear? Where should you go? How can you make sure you're safe? My recommendation is to set up your own boundaries and expectations about dating before

Online Dating: Writing The Profile

2011-10-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

When you look at the millions of profiles on Match.com or eHarmony or OKCupid.com or any of the websites out there attempting to match you up with the person of your dreams, what do you see? Is there anything in the profile that stands out, that helps you feel as if you can really "see" that person? Most people write profiles that sound pretty much like everyone elses. They dryly list off

Therapists Doing Counseling Online Through Skype?

2011-09-25T14:40:00.000-07:00

More and more people are requesting phone or Skype sessions for a variety of reasons. Some clients move, or a therapist moves and the client doesn't want to have to start a new relationship with a therapist when they are already connected and getting the help they've been looking for. Some clients live in isolated rural areas where there aren't therapists within several hours drives of their

Dating, Making A Choice, Doubting Yourself

2011-09-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

Once we've been in the dating scene for a while, had a marriage or two and suffered some disappointments and surprises, it is easy to start second guessing your choices. Many times this anxiety sends us into relationships for the wrong reasons. I remember one of my early relationships I thought maybe I wasn't so into the guy because of my own childhood issues and it took me 4 years to work my

Whose Label Are You Wearing?

2011-08-25T07:53:00.000-07:00

I often talk about this in my work with clients. We take some kind of definition of ourselves that is formed before we are 18 years old...before our brains have even fully developed and then battle with it the rest of our lives! At what point can we be the person we have been for many years post 18 and shed the old, and usually negative beliefs we have about ourselves? http://kingskiddd1.com/

New Rules of Dating, Old Rules of Dating

2011-08-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

I believe that the original idea for dating was that people would go out and do activities together so they could get to know each others "real selves". This dating process allowed us to evaluate how we felt in relationship to different people, more about their true character and if we were getting enough from the relationship to decide to take it to the next level=a relationship. Somewhere

Gratitude by Melody Beattie 8/1 (And my comments)

2011-08-01T13:36:00.000-07:00

We learn the magical lesson that making the most of what we have turns it into more. Say thank you, until you mean it. Thank God, life and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into

Abuse

2011-07-29T19:34:00.000-07:00

For many years I have been using the Power & Control Wheel to help people understand more about abuse. It isn't just about hitting but abusers try to control and hurt in many ways. At the center of abuse is the desire to have power and control over another person. The spokes of the wheel show the other areas of life that are commonly attacked. Here is the link for a great website with a lot of

Being Is Enough, Melody Beattie 7/21 And My Comments

2011-07-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

We are not always clear about what we are experiencing, or why. In the midst of grief, transition, transformation, learning, healing or discipline--it's difficult to have perspective. That's because we have not learned the lesson yet. We are in the midst of it. The gift of clarity has not yet arrived. Our need to control can manifest itself as a need to know exactly what's going on. We cannot

iPhone Apps For Relaxation

2011-07-07T06:32:00.000-07:00

I found a couple of free apps in the App Store that people might find helpful. One is Breathe2Relax which takes you through different relation breathing exercises. The other is T2 MoodTracker which helps you pay attention to emotions throughout the day and over time. I found them both on some websites where there is help for vets but these can be helpful for many people. And don't forget that

Dating Tips

2011-07-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me recently about his attraction to a woman he knows is in a committed relationship. He thought it wouldn't hurt him to fantasize about her since he doesn't have any other prospects.He is also admitting to not feeling so good about himself since he is (like the rest of us) getting older and feeling like he might not be attractive to women. And he thinks that the women he'd find

Whoo hoot! I am on to page three of my book! It's a miracle!

2011-07-01T09:47:00.001-07:00

I am trying to write an ebook on how to Date Smarter. Are you into it?

Find a job at our Minneapolis Career Fair on July 11, 2011

2011-06-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Find a job at our Minneapolis Career Fair on July 11, 2011

Making Lemonade Out Of Chaos

2011-06-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

I am a well organized slob. I am not the person who puts things away right after using them. Never was, mostly sure I never will be. Over the years of living alone, living with a family, being a single mother, I have gotten better. I do realize that if I don't clean things up, they will just sit there. I have come to appreciate that I am living in a community, even if that community is only

Panic

2011-06-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people's fears or past experiences trigger panic. The first few times this happens might be pretty scary and people have often worried they are having a heart attack or "going crazy". Sometimes people have had anxiety for years but haven't had panic attacks before and some people have been having panic attacks occasionally but not on a regular basis. What happens is that once you

Are You Listening?

2011-06-07T12:59:00.000-07:00

Listening is such an important skill to have when we want to have healthy and rewarding relationships and yet we are trained from childhood in many ways that get in the way of being a really good listener. When we listen well to others it gives the message that we are committed to the relationship and that we value them. It is important to set aside our concerns, prejudices, beliefs, anxieties

Patience

2011-05-31T09:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life we just have to be patient. When I was younger I thought I could control more...no, actually I thought it was my responsibility to make everything right. If anything in the world might could be wrong or go wrong somehow it was my job to make it better. As I have traveled through life I have not only learned that it is NOT my job, but also that I can't control things anyway,