ANN TILLEY HANDMADE

Dreams Are Complicated

2016-12-14T14:56:00.000-05:00

[This is a blog post I wrote 6 months ago after successfully enacting my big fashion business idea, and found myself ... unhappy? But this is my dream? I basically wrote this for myself, attempting understand and cope with how I was feeling.]

WOW, ok, here I am.

Yes, I am here, on the other side of the dreams I've been dreaming for so long. So why am I not bathing in the sunshine of making it here?

I have always wanted to work for myself. I have always wanted to start my own business. Now that I finally have, and I see and feel what it is like to integrate it into my life, I'm doubting myself. I'm doubting if I'm capable of handling it all. I'm doubting if it's what I really want.

What do you do when you finally start living your dreams and discover that maybe it's not what you want?

OPTIONS:

- have a panic attack

- cry to your mama

- cry to your boyfriend

- cry to your cat
- beg your cat to trade lives with you

- ask your part-time employer to give you more hours

- self-medicate with wine and rom-coms all night on the couch

- doubt your ideas

- doubt your aspirations

- doubt your entire life

- give up on yourself

Other other option is to go back an re-read your own advice to yourself.

Ok, at least you're breathing again.

Work is work.

No matter what kind of work you find or create for yourself, it will come with common pitfalls. Things such as stress, deadlines, doing jobs you don't want to do, and generally taking you away from other life activities you want to be doing (see: hot tub). When you find that your dream job contains some or all of these bummers, does that mean it's not your dream job?

[actual dream job]

[actual dream job]

Well, maybe it wouldn't be so great to not have opposable thumbs, and the prune-iness from being in water all day might be a bit much ..... but am I traitor when I say that sometimes the idea of giving up all my dreams and becoming a loaf seems really appealing??

[ENTER PRESENT DAY]

6 months have passed and I want to share where I have gone mentally (and literally) since writing this.

I found myself unhappy, overwhelmed, and uninspired by my original clothing-line business model.

After 6 months of actively executing my plans, I discovered that wearing all the hats needed for a well-rounded business was too much. Every minute that I was sewing production, I wasn't promoting and marketing my garments. Every minute I was crunching numbers on spreadsheets, I wasn't in my studio developing new product. And I found that there were some hats that I'm just not that great at wearing. (SURPRISE! the artist isn't a great salesman.) Not to mention, many of those hats took me away from what it is that I'm actually good at doing, and WANTED to be doing.

Then there was also the undeniable fact that where I stood in that moment, with that business, wouldn't make me much money. And I decided that I had gotten to an age where I was over the "labor of love" system of business I'd been running (for years) and was ready to act smarter with my time and skills.

So I took a hard look at the bullet points in my original business plan, with the practical knowledge I had fallen into the first half of the year, and came to a few conclusions:

-- if I want to make affordable clothing then I need to look
at mass-manufacturing and delegating the cutting-and-sewing.

-- if I want to provide custom, if I want to hand-craft clothing myself,
then I need to look into a speciality, higher-end, higher-priced clothing line.

-- if I don't want to wear all the hats, then I need to either pay others
for their expertise or collaborate.

In a bizarrely-remarkable series of events, I have turned on a dime and begun aggressively pursuing these new ideas. I chose to end my lil clothing line early in order to put all my efforts in these new directions, much to my own dismay. I hate not following-thru on something that I commit myself to but ... I think it's been a good choice.

So you wanna know what I'm up to now??

I collaborated with a good friend, who also happens to have a successful clothing line in Durham -- RUNAWAY -- and we designed our first full-fashion garment together, and then held each others' hands while we learned how to work with a (NC-based!) production house to have them made. LOTTA learning, but we just got the finished product in the door and it feels soooo gooood.

Best parts: I didn't have to sew them all and he's doing the selling!

Check out the > video < Runaway made in support of our collaboration, as well as the art show they're hosting of *my* knitted work. I've been busy!

Also....

I'm developing a new clothing line with my buddy Anne (of Red Canary) where we're using her digitally-printed fabrics with her surface designs and my pattern-making and construction skills to come up with a line of speciality garments unlike anything you've seen before. We are still in the throews of development so not many pictures, but expect to see some stuff beginning of next year. For now, it will all be sewn in-house (by me) and will offer ready-to-wear as well as custom aspects.

Best parts: Anne and I make a great team, we encourage each other to show up and get to work, and did I mention custom-printed fabric of anything we can dream up?!?

I guess that it wasn't that my dreams were bad, maybe I underestimated that there will be hard work and struggles, even with your dream job. I am proud that I chose to reassess my dreams and make them better. If I had stuck to my original plan, out of some kind of loyalty, I wouldn't be as far along with these new ideas as I am now. Working with partners has been GREAT. When you work with someone else, you get a different viewpoint, as well as, they can challenge you to grow in ways that you otherwise wouldn't have pushed yourself into.

BOTTOM LINE: Never give up on your dreams,
but never be too closed-minded to see when they need to change.

Making A Wedding Dress, Part 2

2016-11-02T14:40:00.001-04:00

OK, where was I?

Ah, yes, commence with the pleating!

When we left off, I had finished my under-pinnings and was ready to add the final fashion fabric to the dress. I had always envisioned a pleated wedding dress for myself but had never attempted intricate pleating before. I was lucky enough to find a ThreadsMagazine.com article where a group had actually taken a pleating class with the former head of Madame Gres' couture workroom! AND shared the instructional on the internet!! I was so grateful for the instant (with paid subscription) tutorial, and it was the inspiration for me to also take the time to share what I've learned in this process with YOU.

I discovered that pleating requires A LOT of pins. I always prefer extra-fine glass-head pins; they're gentle on delicate fabric and won't melt if you iron over them. I don't even own steel-head pins because they feel thick going through fabric, I struggle to grasp them and they get lost in my pin cushion. I blew through my glass-head stash quickly and found myself scrounging on the floor for strays to finish the job. You start pleating from the bottom layer (the sides of the bodice) to the top layer (the cups), making it easy to hide raw edges. So, the ends on the right side of the image above just needed to be thinned of their fullness and would soon be hidden.

Once the pleats are pinned in place, now comes the curved needle. You gently fold back each pleat and run long running stitches onto the pleat directly below it. Thus when you return the folded pleat, it will hide the stitching. I put paper in between my dress form and my corset, so that I could hear and feel when I had sewn through all desired layers and NOT caught the fabric of the dress form itself. Oh, the sadness that would've been to do all this beautiful work and not be able to take it off the form!

I found the running stitches were much easier to execute if I could lay the form on its side and be able to work upside down. I initially tried this on my studio table but soon found sweat running down my body (due to maximum summer temperatures and minimal A/C) and, let's be real, sitting on a table is uncomfortable. SO, I hauled my form into the house, put on a long-running stream of Murder, She Wrote, and stitched away!

When I finished with the two side sections, 1) I breathed a sigh of relief, they were the largest sections of pleating! and, 2) hobbled my sweaty, determined, pin-pricked ass back into the studio with the form to set up the pleating in the center of the bodice. The house is more comfortable... but the studio has better lighting...

This area proved more challenging because of symmetry. As all dressmakers know, the front left and front right of a garment typically mirror each other down the center front line. But how do you achieve symmetry if your pleats all go in one direction? Follow me? Each side can't be treated in the same manner because the pleats are folding differently. So, I did my best to make them look the same practice letting go of perfection. I considered reversing the pleats down the center front but ultimately didn't like the look of it. It was worth testing it out though. I also had enough time time that, if I wasn't sure of a design idea, I would allow myself to stop and step away; giving myself time to mull things over.

On the left, Trial A.... just didn't win me over. On the right, the final design for the cups.

When you're in a hurry, it can be desirable to stick with your first idea, but remember the big picture, with an emphasis on the word "picture". These wedding photos will be up in your and your families' homes for perceivably the rest of your life. Make sure you're happy with your dress before your past the point of NO RETURN. hehe

The cups were the most challenging because they involved shaping over a curve. The corset was a blessing because I knew it fit me, so all I had to do was follow their shape make sure to not distort them at all during the process. And since I had all the pleat practice leading up to them, I was the most confident and comfortable as I would ever be!

TA-DA!

Once the pleats were done, a lovely bridesmaid came over and helped me play with strap ideas (and convinced me to take the time to clean up the hem with a rotary cutter). I chose this standard strap design because I had gotten pretty badly burned at the beach earlier in the year and decided to match my straps to my tan.... (PROFESSIONAL WEDDING TIP!!!). I sorta made up a little twisty thing with the excess fabric from the back pleats to cover up the zipper teeth. I used a plastic separating jacket zipper that I shortened to attach to the corset. Then the back skirt crossed over the center back opening and got a hook-and-eye closure over near my left side body.

It was a comfortable dress to wear, easy to get in and out of, and thank goodness for those front slits because every time I started getting hot, I was able to stick my leg out and cool myself off!! Seriously, it helped! The only uncomfortable-ness I felt was when a hidden mob of guests bombarded us with uncooked grits flying at our face, which proceeded to get lodged in my cleavage for the rest of the night. Pretty sure they were fully-cooked by the time I took my dress off!!

I also made Adam's linen shirt and jeans. I honestly think working with the linen was harder than my entire dress! The tissue cotton worked beautifully to pleat, thin but stable.

Thanks for following my journey on this most-ambitious project. I thoroughly enjoyed the process and would recommend any enthusiastic sewer to give it a shot! Set manageable goals (in terms of fabric choices and techniques), understand your work ethic and how much time you need, and don't be afraid! Be willing to seek out advice (I'm an open door!) and maybe have a backup plan just incase. If only for the easement of your mother's nerves :)

Making a Wedding Dress, Part 1

2016-07-27T15:39:00.000-04:00

Let's get one thing straight here, I never intended to make my own wedding dress.

But, when you're as particular as I can be, the idea of shopping for a wedding dress already sounded disappointing, and, having spent the last 3 years honing my clothes-making skills, I was feeling confident. I also knew that a nearby sewing ally, Brooks Ann Camper, was available for consultations so I didn't feel so alone in my quest.

These are some Madame Gres originals that were the inspiration for my own dress.

GOAL: to look like a Greek statue, to be done before the wedding, and to not talk to my Mom about my progress so she wouldn't stress out.

Also, I didn't want to stress out either. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion and I was gonna have fun, dammit!

I knew (and feared) the first step: figuring out the underpinnings.

This would be crucial to holding the dress up on my body. With the amount of pleating I wanted to do, I knew this thing could get heavy quick, and I was determined to avoid the dreaded hoisting-up-the-strapless-dress dance us women can fall victim to. And, yes, I did end up adding straps but at this point I was designing as I went along, and had no idea what bodice iteration I would land on. Better prep for strapless rather than rely on straps to hold me up.

I also didn't want to have to find/buy a bra to go with the dress. So my plan started with mashing together basic corset principles and foam cup bra-making. Amy (of Cloth Habit) is your go-to woman for great bra-making tutorials and advice. I used her website to guide me on where to buy materials and I followed her foam cup and underwire bra info. I did look at various corset and bra patterns but ultimately decided to draft my own.

Yes, I have never worked with these materials.

Yes, I have never even worn a corset, much less made one.

But I knew that if I approached the construction in the same way that I approach any of my flat pattern-making projects, I could make it work. You're mapping the body in the same way, just this one would be the ultimate in form-fitting.

5/8 inch spiral steel boning! Brooks Ann said later I could've gone with narrower boning but what's a wedding without a little overkill??

The muslin and foam mock-up of the corset took about a day, with much-needed help from my partner to pin it on me for review. My biggest error was only making one cup in my mock-up. I really needed to do both sides so I could see how the entire thing would pull together, knowwhatImean? It's like when you're making a shirt and you only put one sleeve on. It doesn't allow you to see how much room you have across your back unless both sleeves are attached. As a result, when I made the corset out of the final fabrics, I had a bit of gapping between my breast plate and the bridge (the spot in between the 2 cups). If this was going to be a bra that I was planning on wearing every week for the next 2 years, it would be a problem. But I knew it only needed to be successful for one day.

Don't you love working on projects entirely for yourself?!
You can choose to let go of perfection much more easily, thank GOD.

I had a consult with Brooks Ann to see how I was doing so far and to hash out a plan for the rest of the dress. She helped me add the finishing touches to my corset (it was worth paying a professional just to help me pin on myself!), it was looking like a corset, and feeling comfortable to boot.

Up next: building the final fabric onto the corset.

I chose an organic cotton tissue knit fabric because, like all my clothes, I wanted maximum comfort and I knew the odds that a July wedding in NC would be HOT.

I've discovered that my motion-censored deer camera is the best way to take pictures of myself!

One problem with making your own wedding dress is that you don't get the chance to try on the final product until you finish the thing. So you better figure out a way to design something that will look good on you BEFORE you finish. Whether that's reviewing your current wardrobe for great necklines/silhouettes/etc options, going to a bridal store and trying on various pre-made designs, or my favorite choice, the quick-and-dirty method. This time, the quick-and-dirty method meant excessively pinning scraps of the fabric in various sloppy iterations onto the corset, delicately securing the damn thing to myself, and ignoring the repeated stabbing of said plethora of pins until I got a chance to look at myself in the mirror. (Adam kept getting so nervous about poking me when I would force him to pin together the back, Me: "JUST DO IT!")

It sounds messy but I was able to instantly get a read on what was working and what wasn't. For example, my first idea for pleating the breast cups made me feel like a seashelled-Ariel from Little Mermaid, so I worked hard to cut out fabric fullness as much as possible and avoid any clam-shaped designs.

By the end of the day, I still hadn't decided on cup designs so I put it off and began building the skirt. I added a flat layer of cotton over the corset so no color would show through to the final dress (that was Brooks Ann's idea, thank you!). The tissue knit was pretty sheer and, being that it's white, I didn't want to worry about that being a problem! I created 2 layers of skirting attached to the bottom of the corset, one flat and one pleated, with slits sitting over both thighs.

Let the pleating begin!

This would be the last time I would have the speed and luxury of using the machine to sew.

UP NEXT: curved needles, the great straight pin shortage, and me vs. the heat.

STAY TUNED!

Spring Design Inspiration

2016-04-13T11:31:00.002-04:00

Ann Tilley Handmade's spring collection is here!

Take a look here.

I'm still hanging on with this clothing line idea, I feel like I've created my own personal grad school with how steep my learning curve has been. Attempting to stay in front of the season change has been crazy! Mother Nature got me all scared cuz we started having spring/summer weather like weeks ago and I was panicking cuz I was still trying to sling long sleeve tops. It cooled down again but it certainly got my butt into gear!

A central start for my designs is looking to my own wardrobe and what I love to wear again and again.

Enter my all-time favorite black pencil skirt, made out of a stretchy black knit that was starting to look worse for the wear. I had never been fond of the way the waistband fit, hence I'm hiding it with a big belt ~ prime inspiration for an update on a classic. I had also been fantasizing for some time now on a great wrap skirt (check out my Pinterest board inspo!). Thus, the Goddess Drape Skirt was born.

I wanted maximum drape, full of texture and maximum comfort. Folding the fabric allowed me to get a clean edge on the front drape panels and doubled the fabric; acting like a lining.

On the opposite end of designing, there's starting with a fabric and trying to figure out what to make with it. I had planned to design a wrap dress but discovered the fabric I intended to use was much too stretchy for my original intentions. Then I just started playing and discovered how much I loved the look of an over-the-boob wrap top. Being large-chested, a standard wrap that crosses your breast can easily put you into lady-of-the-night category if you're not careful. I love that here you can get the ease of wearing a wrap with the benefit of full coverage. Having your arms exposed and the cropped hem length keeps you from looking too matronly.

This dress was inspired by a vintage girl's dress I found in a shop in downtown Pittsboro.

It was much tighter and shorter and had red stripes -- the neck was so tight I had to cut it larger to get my head in! It proved to be a little too small for regular wear and it got cycled out of my closet. I think we all know what it feels like to find a great garment that had that one flaw you wish was different. The beauty of designing from your own wardrobe is getting a chance to fix that flaw!

I'm strugglin' a little because I made this dress months ago after finding the perfect striped ponte fabric, and now I'm having trouble getting my hands on more fabric, to be able to offer this look to my customers. I'm gonna have to play it by ear and settle on another fabric if I can't get anymore.

Hope you enjoyed a peek into my spring collection and design process that went into it all!

Clothing Line Launches Amid Procrastination, Anxiety, and Ever-Neglected Household Chores

2016-01-28T11:23:00.000-05:00

I sorta love this picture. It really captures me in a candid state -- having fun but probably not sure what I'm doing, haha.

There is one thing that I do know how to do, and do well, that is make clothing. But trudging through the process of building a website, taking professional photographs (do I have to wear makeup??), learning the ins-and-outs of credit card processing, NOT TO MENTION how do I get my product to customers in the first place??

I'm slowly finding answers to these questions, in my own way. This whole clothing line is me doing it all in my own way, with the help of uber-talented friends that have brought me guidance and a helping hand. I didn't realize how badly I'd need that helping hand.

The anxiety and procrastination I've developed over the past couplea weeks has surprised me. That's not me, why do I feel this way? I ain't scared if that's what you're thinking ... or am I? I've double-checked everything so why can't I just pull the trigger on this bitch? I don't have anything to fear cause I don't even know what I'm getting myself into!

I'm just gonna say to myself that feeling all these feelings must mean I'm stepping outside of my comfort zone and I've heard that it's good to do once in a while.

So without further delay, I'd like to announce that my clothing line is officially open for business, with the first garment being released TODAY! Wahoo!! Take a look at the new site!

ANN TILLEY HANDMADE SHOP

I've got some thank you's I need to get out there.

Seth Tice-Lewis, you're tha bomb, your photography skills made it easy create a great-looking site.

Skram Furniture Co., for letting us use your space and hog the radio even though I didn't ask.

Brittney O'Brien, you made me feel so confident with a great new hair-do before the shoot, and for showing me what makeup is even though I hardly put any on.

Chris Martz and Benjamin Reed, for advising me in the ways of HTML script.

Anna Daigneault, for proof-reading, trouble-shooting, and giving lots of hi-fives.

The Tilley/Thornton families, Haley Harned and Jenny Ellis for giving me your honest opinions about my clothes and telling me my ideas are good.

Adam Joyce, for orchestrating the wonderfully-instructional measuring video, for srsly holding my hand through this process, and for continually wiping sawdust off my ass.

And for all of YOU, who have been excited about my ideas, who have shared your clothes and fit stories with me, who have followed me through my career journeys, hell, I wouldn't have started this thing if it wasn't for Instagram and the feedback I got there. THANK YOU FOR PUSHING ME TO THIS POINT.

And this is only the beginning. Once I start to work through these first 3 garments, and get a chance to tweak and troubleshoot, I'm hoping this clothing line can become a well-oiled machine that can last through the year, if not longer. My initial goal was to release at least 1 garment a month for the whole year. I don't know where I'll go from there but I'm excited to see where I find myself this time next year!

New Clothing Line!

2016-01-03T11:03:00.000-05:00

SO, I know some a y'all be thinking that I'm fully-focused on my art career right now ... I was thinking the same thing too. Well, I can't explain it but I got this bug (or rather a really good idea) to play with making clothes for others. I have been having a fabulous time these past 2 years making my own garments and honing my pattern-making skills. It's like a super-practical 3-D puzzle that engages my brain in wonderful ways. After my peanut shorts experiment earlier this year, I started to seriously consider developing a clothing line. And I finally got fed up working with clients on their ideas and decided to find an income with my own ideas.

Starting January 2016, I will be officially launching Ann Tilley Handmade clothing!

Here's how it works:

Ann Tilley Handmade is a small-batch, made-to-order clothing line focused on everyday, easy-wear-easy-care garments. We will release one look each month via social media and other online marketing tools, with particular emphasis on direct e-mail. Customers will place their order on a first-come-first-served basis online, and will be prompted to provide their body measurements. The garment will be cut and sewn to fit their specified dimensions and mailed out to them. As soon as all the fabric is gone for each garment, the product will come to an end. We're striving to exist between $30-$100 price range per garment.

To be the first to know about new products, make sure you are signed up to my email list! Those on the list will get a 24-hour heads up to make a purchase before I post publicly on social media. There's only going to be 8-20 garments offered for each look so you gotta move quick!

Here's my mission statement because, yes, I wrote a business plan so you have to read it now :)

Ann Tilley Handmade strives to provide the general public with ethically-made clothing that are unique, stylish, and comfortable, with an option for custom fitting. ATH is for those who otherwise can’t afford to shop ethically or don’t know how. ATH is for the person who has a unique body shape and is unable to fit in clothing off the rack. ATH is for the person who wants to dress like a true individual!

In lieu of photos of the actual clothing I will be offering (the photoshoot is January 9th!) here are some shots over the last year of clothing I have made for myself and loved ones.

One of my biggest regrets about pursuing a fashion career is that a lot of times it does not fall in line with my moral and environmental values. I see all these wonderful people around me are following careers that contribute to the greater good and I'm making clothes? And when you hear about all the tragedies surrounding cheap, overseas labor (watch The True Cost documentary on Netflix) or the fact that the fashion industry is the 2nd largest waste-producing industry, second only to the coal industry, it makes one feel sorta sick to their stomach walking through a Target or a TJ Maxx.

I can't change the industry -- one little girl in rural NC -- but I can choose to not support it with my money. I haven't really shopped for new clothing in 2 years, occasionally I crumble but less and less frequently. I'm lucky because I can make clothes for myself but my friends don't have that option, and me reprimanding them for shopping at Old Navy doesn't really change anything. We need some clothing and we want other clothing because it's fun, it makes you feel good, like yourself, it's a fundamental way that humans present themselves to each other.

I'll be sewing all purchased garments by myself in the lil 9 ft x 15 ft home studio barn behind my house. The fabrics are being sourced based on their uniqueness, comfort, and price, and each product will be available until I run out of its allocated fabric. Then that keeps me from getting burnt out on the same thing and a chance to try out new designs and fabrics. I guess it's the artist in me bleeding over to the fashion side. I don't have a ton of control (for now) about how ethically the fabric is being produced, especially if I am considering cost, but usually that aspect of manufacturing is less reliant on human labor. And as this project moves along, hopefully I can educate myself more on this aspect of the business and make thoughtful changes.

So... LET ME KNOW WHAT Y'ALL WANNA SEE! What garment are you missing from your wardrobe that you just can't find?

I'm ready to take your orders!

Fall Activities

2015-11-21T17:56:00.000-05:00

Gravy once again finding my work table, and all the projects I'm currently working on, a pleasing place to nap.

Hey everybody!

I have been up to a ton of stuff this fall and am very pleased to say that not much of it has been freelance work-for-hire crap. I am whittling it out of my life and it feels great! Still got a couple loose ends I have to finish up before I can state that I am completely free. And I'm serious when I say free. Doing work for others comes with a level of stress -- knowing that someone else is holding you to a deadline, the need to live up to others' expectations, etc -- and those things had a way of weighing heavily on one's shoulders. I think that's why school wasn't such a great fit for me. I work a lot better holding myself to deadlines rather than to be pressured by others, which I have recently realized about myself. AND it is a very crucial thing to have some insight on when you are attempting to work for yourself.

See how much the original lining had disintegrated?

I recently finished up a project that I was somewhat stressing about, so much so, that I put it away and promptly forgot about it (psst for a whole freaking year!). Ok, ok, lemme explain. It was for a friend, someone who had done favors for me in the past and I was wanting to do it for free for him. What happens when you lack financial compensation? You put it off.

Of course, that all seems so silly now because was it not nearly as difficult or time consuming as I had dreaded it to be ---- re-lining a leather jacket including all the pockets. It actually was kinda fun! Well, after the tedium of seam-ripping the whole thing, and trying to do a clean job of it so I could use the original pieces as guides to cut the new fabric.

And what I was dreading the most was if my sewing machine could handle all that leather. It worked so well it blew me away. I do have an industrial machine but I don't have a walking foot. Sweet relief! And I'm now thinking that I have some room to ask him for another favor...

#strategy

I met a herd of knitters in Greensboro, working on a large yarn-bomb intended to cover the whole Walker St bridge. They were very relieved when I showed up with my bulky hobby knit machine (did I mention someone gave me one? As in fo free??). I let them borrow it to help with the boring stuff. We met in the back of Shelf Life, a new, independent art supply store in town, and how great is the atmosphere? I just thought these pictures were fun and colorful.

I was able to donate some practice knits that I didn't want to throw away. Those green-and-white swatches forming the "H" were from when I was just learning how to use my fabulous standard gauge knit machine.

Speaking of knitting machines...

Did I tell y'all I got picked to be a pop-up artist-in-residence at the Greenhill Center?? 10 days in their ArtQuest space, to set up whatever work I wanted to do and to interact and engage with the kids and families that came through the space.

I attempted to try and get the kids to draw their own knitting designs on graph paper, with an emphasis on drawing houses, since I've been making a lot of houses this year. It failed miserably but I had a back-up plan consisting of using those pot holder loops to teach finger knitting and a bag-full of pom-pom makers. Isabella did draw her guinea pig and I was thrilled to use the machine to knit it for her.

So maybe I wasn't able to get the kids to directly interact with a project that I was working on, but I at least promoted the name of fiber arts. And who doesn't like pom-poms??

If you can see in the earlier picture of my knitting set-up, I had that bulky hobby machine out (bottom right) for anyone interested and during my time there I had 2 groups of kids that got really into knitting on the machine. As in, one group (consisting of 2 brothers and a grandpa) came back the next day just to work on the machine! It surprised me, I wasn't sure how they would take to it but the older brother especially (probably 9 or so) could use it with minimal help from me. And they were able to knit an entire scarf to take home with them!

At the end of my time, I had done more socializing, networking, and playing with the kids, rather than making any art. It still felt like a success though. It's always exciting to share activities with kids that engage them. As in...

...this one little girl that came to family night was finger-knitting, and I was basically putting the loops on her fingers for her. .. and doing the knitting part ... she was pretty much just holding her hand there. Then slowly she started taking over for me, one step at a time, to the point that she didn't need me anymore. And every time that she would finish a "row" of fingers, she would hold it up for me to see and just beam with joy and satisfaction. I got a lot of enjoyment out of watching her.

Family time out in the backyard.

This photograph is titled "How to keep the 2.5-yr old entertained and outta trouble". I am jealous of that full-split, Susan! Talk about open hips! She must be made of playdoh :)

Don't. Give. Up.

2015-11-18T12:02:00.001-05:00

Working for yourself can be a daunting excursion into a dark and unknown place. There are reasons to give up at every corner. I have been working for myself in some form or fashion for the last 6 years, that business has encompassed making t-shirt quilts, hand-tooling leather stools, developing prototypes for other peoples' ideas, custom clothing, trying to make and sell my own art (and don't even get me started on my attempt to get into the upholstery business) .... it's been a lot of eggs in a lot of baskets. And my brain and heart have likewise felt equally split. Some days are harder than others, and it's tough to keep the bad thoughts out...

...when you are reminded that doing what you love probably won't get you rich. Or even just financially comfortable.

...when you learn that your Affordable Health Care is going up another $100 because you have a job that doesn't come with benefits.

...when you pour your heart into your ideas and projects and some people just don't get it (especially if said people are your friends and family).

...when you tearfully search job listings on Craigslist in a fit of desperation.

...when your perceive others as having more success than you.

...when the uncertainty of your future bears down on you with the weight of the world.
WITH THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD.

All I know to do in these times is remind myself to just not give up. Not today, at least.

Don't give up.

DON'T GIVE UP.

SERIOUSLY, ANN. DON'T. GIVE. UP!

Think about it. What else would you rather do with your time on earth? Work an unfulfilling job just for the financial security, always putting your dreams on the back burner.

But it would be so easy to give up...

Ok, ok we can't listen to that voice.

Ann's Top 5 Reasons NOT To Give Up

1) ...because there are too many things in the world I haven't done yet. And I want to make everything at least once (yes, one day I will make a bra!)

2) ...because I know I am capable of something great and not proving that to myself would be the biggest disappoint of my life.

3) ...because fear of failure is the dumbest reason EVER. It's the unknown, so why fear something that has not even been written yet?

4) ...because at the end of it all, money is not important. Study after study tells us that ultimately happiness does not come from our bank accounts (that is, once you're out of poverty. If you are reading this, then you're probably doing okay).

5) ...because I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.
Remember when you worked for other people and it felt like treading water? Like you were waiting for your life to start? Yeah, you don't want to go back there. You're going to figure out how to make this work, and it's going to happen!

And because there are cotton fields out there to sit in!

Caught On Camera

2015-09-16T13:35:00.001-04:00

Hey y'all!

I haven't had much to say lately here on the blog but you know there has been nada slack on my making habits. We recently installed infrared deer cameras in our backyard after a break-in (nothing too bad, we're lucky) and as a result I accidentally documented my comings-and-goings on one of my latest projects: making new "old" flags for Wrangler jean company (they're HQ is in Greensboro!).

Serendipity is such a funny thing. After receiving the latest Textile Arts Center magazine months ago, I followed their instructions for making a rust dyebath, with no real purpose, just out of curiosity.

Aka- 1 part water, 1 part vinegar, and a bunch of rusty metal objects set into a jar for several weeks.

Then I got this freelance job to make new "old" flags, and I thought what better way to make something look old than a rust dyebath?

I wadded up the flags after they were sewn and shoved them in the pickle jar full of the rust solution. Then I would leave them out in my backyard for days on end, allowing them to get rained on and generally exposed to the elements. This would subtly deepen the rust splotches in a nice way. If you pulled one out of the jar and didn't wash it off at all, the rust would deepen dramatically (ie- the 2 on the bottom left photo below).

These are various stages of rust depth. The bottom left I tried to bleach after the rust color became too deep and apparently rust is not affected by bleach. The bottom right is a black tea stain, much too gray for this project.

Then when I was satisfied with the rust color, I took some sand paper to the fabric and added my "W". These are my guide lines before stitching. Alas! I was so anxious to drop this project off I forgot to get a final pic ... whooooops. It was a really fun project! I've never played with "aging" fabric before, you sorta feel like a mad scientist; dipping, watching, washing, re-dipping. I played with several types of stains in the beginning but the rust proved the best.

I also got a couple new toothbrush pairs framed this week. I couldn't decide what to do with the frames, the natural beech just seemed so boring so I grabbed my acrylics and started painting. I was so happy with the results that I decided to make a whole rainbow of toothbrush pairs in this manner.

Seriously, not joking. I made a whole pile of new toothbrushes!! 17 in all. There will be lots of paint mixing in my future :)

And I'm always making new houses when I can. I've started adding solar panels in now that I'm using the knitting machine to make them. My stitches are much tighter with the machine which means I can get more detail in a smaller space. The 2 on the bottom right and the top middle one are machine-knit and the others are hand-knit. Can you see the difference in the stitch size?

I have a few house available for sale on my Etsy page and I would like to add more when I can! That bottom middle house with the solar panel has become my fave and I've been loath to part from it. I guess I need to make more so I can share!!

How Peanut Shorts Led Me To A New Business Venture

2015-08-07T12:49:00.001-04:00

Something that I'm recently discovering is vitally important for creative types/business entrepreneurs/designers/makers/discoverers/ME : making time to play.

In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, I tend to "should" all over my life. "I should be responding to that client's email", "I should be regularly posting updates on Facebook", and the biggest one "I should be making more money". I am certain now that all that "should"-ing has held me back from growing my career and discovering what I really want to do.

If a scientist doesn't make time to experiment, how will she be able to discovering anything new?

If a chef doesn't make time to try out unfamiliar ingredients, when will she ever develop new recipes?

I allowed my fear of needing to make money keep me from playing in my studio. I took other people's stressful jobs, things I didn't even want to do, just for the money and prevented myself from discovering ways to take my own creativity and turn it into a career, on my own terms.

It's ok, it only took me like 3 years to figure this out but, hey, better late than never.

So let me tell you about my new business idea...

.... I'll give you a hint, it's not modeling!

A couple weeks ago I made myself a pair of cotton shorts on a whim. It was hot, and I couldn't find my other pair. I'm sure there were other things I could've been doing that day but I chose to prioritize this project. Then I wore them every day for the next week. I was obsessed with these shorts!

My #1 man encouraged me to post a pic on Instagram and see if anyone else wanted a pair, and people were interested! The next day I went back into my studio and assessed that I had enough peanut wax print fabric to make 6 more pairs. So I threw the offer out there via Insta:

6 pairs available
$36 flat + free shipping
first 6 people to respond get em'
who wants em'?

I learned with my pair that it's nice to have a tag to easily identify front from back -- personalizing the tags makes it all the more fun, and a nice surprise for my clients.

I was sold out within the hour!

That night I sent out invoices via Square (--> unbelieveably easy! Highly recommend it. BUT Venmo is the best to be able to avoid any processing fees, seriously, no fees! Only catch is you and your client both need to be signed up to use it. With Square, your client only has to enter payment info and that's it.) I also sent out emails with instructions on measuring your body.

Then all I had to do was wait for these 6 guinea pigs to fulfill their end (payment + measurements) and I happily sewed up their orders as they came in. It was enjoyable work that I created in my own studio, I was able to use up all this beautiful fabric that had been sitting around collecting dust. It overall was a great experience. I actually ended up selling more than 6 because I had a couple friends that saw more fabrics sitting around my studio and requested shorts in those alt. fabrics.

Peanut shorts seen in the wild!

My co-worker Gillian snapped this shot in her new shorts, made with another wax print fabric I had lying around.

Doing this little experiment got me really excited about the idea of creating more limited edition garments. It absolutely fits so many things that I love, those things being...

1) creating unique garments,
2) flexing my pattern-making skills and seeing them thru to full development,

3) small business, small production, small enough work that I can do by myself,

4) providing others with a chance to purchase clothing outside of the "big box",

...not to mention providing a custom fit! If only I could stand on a soapbox and preach the glories of clothes that are made specifically for one's body. I shutter at the thought that most of us wander this earth wearing garments that only kinda fit right. Or gosh! people that don't even realize what well-fitted garments look and feel like! Their ignorance pains me! I know the Truth! Follow me and I can make you look like you lost 20 pounds just with the magic of my sewing machine!

My favorite is to create a garment and fine-tune it till I can say this is a quality product. That means wearing it and judging its fit, washing it and seeing how the fabric wears. I'm a true sample-maker at heart, the engineering of it all is what I live for.

This is me creating a non-committal clothing line, as inspiration strikes and time permits. I love the freedom of this idea and I've got so many more garments I'm getting excited about offering. For this first go-round, I only advertised on Instagram but there's possibilities of expanding to other social media outlets and email marketing (join my mailing list here).

What do you think? Would you buy clothing in this manner? What platform do you think is best for this sort of business venture?

DIY Wedding Guest

2015-07-29T17:54:00.002-04:00

Spent the afternoon watching "The True Cost" documentary and knitting organic, hemp fabric scraps that I got from work. YES it was a perfectly-sunny summer day and YES I had more productive things I could've been doing (I'll refrain from photographing the dishes in the sink and my suitcase opened in the middle of the floor), but this, this was ME time and it felt utterly refreshing.

Remember how I was struggling to post any updates at the beginning of this year because I was so busy? Well, I'm still busy and it looks like I won't get any breathing room until October comes and goes. The main culprit? Weddings! I'm at that age and am reaping the benefits (and financial burdens) of investing in so many personal relationships over the years.

So today I'm knitting pot holders, and scheming on other DIY wedding gifts (I love these tea towels) I can create to show my love for all these beautiful people and keep my wallet in my pocket. Or at least save it for air fare.

Do you have any DIY wedding gift ideas? Plz share ASAP!

Liking Isn't Loving

2015-06-21T12:11:00.000-04:00

I am so stinkin' torn right now about this project. The problem is that I just don't love it, but I really like it. The "liking" part is making it hard for me to want to scrap the project all-together. It has merit, but it just doesn't create that "I'm so obsessed with this!" feeling like most of my other knit pieces illicit. So do I frog the project or do I invest the time in finishing it?

I just don't think the background colors are successful. My attempt to deepen the gradient helped but it's still too rigid, and then the separation between the 2 yellows disappeared so I'm left with the uneven distribution of colors. It feels weighted in the wrong ways.

Now here is a successful color gradient! I knit Hammered//Enamored by hand so, moving slower, I was able to assess the color-change much more closely. Also, only being able to view the backside of the knitting while using the machine, limits my visibility of what I am doing.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I HATE feeling like I wasted my time or, even worse, that my art progress is moving at the pace of a fist fight underwater. I want so hard to be prolific and react quickly on my ideas but with all life puts on each of us, it can be tricky. And I'm just not a person that can forego all other life-fulfilling activities for the sake of my art career. Sometimes I wish I was.

Have you ever been stuck about making decisions like these? How do you work through them?

Floppy Drives and Embroidery Hoops

2015-06-18T12:25:00.006-04:00

The view from my lap this week. Over the weekend I had a chance to spend some one-on-one time with a seasoned machine knitter from my guild, Cindy. She was so gracious as to allow me into her craft room and utilize some of her ancient, expensive, and highly-coveted (by me) technology.

SO, my knitting machine has electronic functions -- so far, I have only explored the more manual aspects of these capabilities -- but I knew there were ways to take designs directly out of the computer and upload them to the machine, bypassing any need to input the pattern by hand. I had no idea how, hence my idea to ask for help.

SIDE NOTE: This year, more than any other year, I have found myself actively seeking help from others with knowledge beyond my own. It's a really good idea. And if there is knowledge you can share with them..well then the cycle of learning never ends.

In anticipation of Cindy's help, I challenged myself to make the largest stranded knitting design (aka- fair isle, aka- 2-color design) ever in my lil' history. I had parameters, mainly the limit of the width of the machine, which is 200 stitches wide. So I ran with that and this is what I came up with.

I started with the familiar, toothbrushes and houses, and from there, found myself creating new motifs. In my newest body of work, I'm beginning to comment on the wide-range of technology that's seeping into our day-to-day lives, with an emphasis on my dual love and hatred for all these screens. So that's where the satellite dish, iPhones + earbuds, and solar panels are coming into play. (Also you know where the solar panels are coming from.) The design was also inspired by a traditional rug layout.

One of my inspirations for this design; I saw this rug in a museum on University of Georgia Athens' campus. Not only is the layout inspiring but I love all the little animal motifs!

This design is also a personal reaction/reflection of my own home. The solar panels that were built in my backyard were a source of great pain, but now in the wake of the dust settling, there is still much beauty around me as well as some surprising benefits as a result of the changed landscape. As in, we now get a great view of the sunset. So, there's another duality being expressed in this piece. A sort of harshness (chain-link fence) mixed in with cheeriness (flowers blooming).

Once over at Cindy's, we attempted to bring my DIY computer-knitted design into her pro knitting software called DesignAKnit, or DAK. It worked somewhat, but then I spent the next few hours cleaning it up and adapting it correctly to her program. It is such a cool program -- the next time I find $800 burning a hole in my pocket, I've got to buy this!! Once the design was completed, we hooked Cindy's Tandy floppy drive to the computer -- again, just the cord to adapt the drive to the computer comes at an exorbitant cost. It's basically an emulator function, these sort of external floppy drives were never meant to receive information from a home computer, rather you would buy the disk that had the design you wanted and that was that. We had to export the design into 6 separate tracks due to the limited memory space on my CompuKnit III. Finally, another cord connects the floppy drive to my machine, and we begin the uploading and knitting process.

Are you still following me??

Ok, now here's how we actually got to knitting. We uploaded the first track from the floppy drive onto my machine. I get it set-up with proper orientation and I start running the carriage. When we get to the end of the programmed design (carefully cause the machine will automatically begin repeating the design so you hafta hafta make sure you end on the exact right row), we plug the floppy drive back in and overwrite Track 1 with Track 2, and knit again. There's some careful steps that needed to be taken between the designs to make sure they lined up correctly, Cindy and I would speak out loud for every operation so as to be constantly confirming with each other that we had done everything. This went on for all 6 tracks before we were finally finished.

OH, ALSO during this time, I was attempting to create a gradient with my background color. See, I forgot until the night before our get-together that I would have to to bring all the yarn I needed with me and that I would require more than one ball of yarn to complete the project. That's new for me to need larger quantities of yarn. So in a pinch, realizing that I didn't have enough of any one color, I decided I would used 4 similar colors, and create a rough gradient through changing lines. Knitting 2 rows of new, 4 rows of old, 4 rows of new, 2 rows of old, and finally changing over to the new yarn color. In theory, this made sense to me.

SEE PHOTO BELOW

Was NOT happy with the result (this is the best picture I took of the lines showing). For the first color change, the 2 different yarns were so similar in shade that it looked good. But for the yellow-to-green, and then green-to-blue... I wasn't happy. So more need for ingenuity. That's where the embroidery hoop comes in. I decided to deepen the illusion of a gradient, and remove the harshness of the lines, through duplicate stitch. Basically an embroidery stitch where you're going over the existing knitting with what looks like a typical knit stitch, one at a time. I utilize this technique often to garner the results I desire and to add complication to my design.

It's a slow process but it's doing the trick! I'm about 3/4 of the way through so when I get it done, I will share a photo asap!

~~~ THOUGHT NUGGETS ~~~

I have been a little reticent about fully automating the knit process, just because to me the making is the beauty, and I never want to take away from the making process. But, I also see the wonder in being able to allow my ideas to come to fruition more quickly. Especially since no matter how many hours there are in the day, I never feel like I can get anywhere very quick. It's in those times when I feel frustrated about how slowly my projects are coming that I remind myself of the journey and how with enough baby steps I can get there one day. Just maybe not this day.

The reality of me being able to further utilize these automated abilities is limited, unless I'm willing to invest in the equipment or if Cindy can tolerate me being over at her house all the time :) but I'm glad to know how they work now and know that it is an option.

As to my sewing machines, they're far from gathering dust! I'm playing with making my own underwear, inspired by Amy from Cloth Habit. The idea was sparked from my desire to live a handmade life. Thus, now when I'm in need of a certain material possession, I try to figure out if I can make it first before I go shopping. Not to mention, I see all the scrap fabric that accrues at my 9-to-5 and we've been looking for ways to use as much as we can and throw little away. Amy provides a FREE pattern for this panty (I only customized it slightly with those diagonal seams. That was to cater to the scraps that I was working with) and this has got to be the best style of underwear anyway, so no need to improve upon it!

Finding much needed time outside with my boo thang at the frisbee golf park :)

Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading!!

Swizz Beatz, The Dean Collection & Thoughts About Treating Your Business Like A Business

2015-05-18T17:24:00.003-04:00

My latest Instagram crush is a surprising and welcomed find --- Swizz Beatz, and his latest venture with the Dean Collection. I can't say I knew anything about him, although I'm definitely familiar with his work (DMX was a staple in my Discman growing up) but what I'm really fascinated with is his fabulous contemporary art collection. Ok, so I know Kehinde Wiley (his painting featured above, a whopping 8'5" x 25' piece!) is probably the most famous contemporary artist of the last 10 years but what I'm really excited about is SB's interest in up-and-coming artists. As much as I enjoy Andy Warhol's faces and Damien Hirst's dot paintings, it's refreshing to find someone seeking out new, sometimes little-heard-of artists, purchasing their work, and adding fuel to their hype.

Tryptic by Maya Hayuk, part of the Dean Collection

Not to mention I think he has pretty fabulous taste.

After finding his Insta feed, I pursued the internet looking for more information about SB. I got a charge after reading this interview with him and it started a chain of thoughts about how I approach my own artwork and looking at the business side of it.

It's been over a year since I decided to prioritize my art life and now I'm starting to feel the need to really establish it as a business, as much in my own head as anything. Until now, I guess I was just doing it to see what could happen and now that I've figured out what I'm doing, established myself a bit, and gotten some feedback, I feel ready to take things further. I've gotten to a point where what was started as a hobby, has now become something more, I want it to be more, so I need to reframe some of my intentions towards where I want to go with all of it.

Works by Saner Edgar, part of the Dean Collection

For one thing, I need to stop underselling myself NOW. You can only short-change yourself for so long before you become thoroughly sick of it. I'm setting prices and sticking to them -- I still want to be accessible to all kinds of people so that means making art within a variety of price ranges, not adjusting prices to what you think the crowd can afford. Or feeling bad about valuing your art at a certain price point. If you don't value it, can you expect other people to?

Another one is making sure I show up in my studio like it's a job. Frequently, my studio time can get bumped to the wayside, especially since it is at my home and I could run to the grocery real quick to get food for dinner, or I could start that load of laundry -- NO -- I need to create working hours and stick to them. It's amazing what you can come up with when you're surround by all your tools and materials, even if you don't feel all-together inspired. My biggest hurdle right now is making as much as I can. My smaller pieces (like the houses and toothbrushes) have proven to sell when I make them...so that means I need to keep making them. Like Swizz said he learned from Peter Max, art is like manufacturing your own currency.

Even this blog, it started as something that I only wanted to do as it pleased me, allowing it to be an organic expression. If my art is a business, then I need to make it a priority to share what I'm making regularly here, and my other social media outlets. This blog has become so much more for me over the past couple years. Not just a place to share but a place to process my journey, to document my learning curves, and help express myself through writing. When I first started blogging, I hated writing anything -- I felt like I sounded so dumb -- and would just post pictures. Now I have the confidence to verbalize in ways that I was too shy to do before. And the greatest thing is, when I meet people in person, I know how to verbalize to them what I'm doing because I've taken the time to do it here. Seriously.

BUT anyways, really excited to see a guy like Swizz Beats buying art instead of cars and I am interested to watch where he goes with The Dean Collection. I don't know if I have the gumption to go back to school for business like he is doing but I will do my best to put my business hat on more frequently. It's almost kinda fun sometimes, I mean not knitting fun but a girl's gotta give her hands a break sometime :)

Got any Instagram crushes you wanna share?

Sprang Update

2015-05-11T18:18:00.000-04:00

New shipment of yarn arrives = I've got some big plans in the works! I'm starting to buy multiple balls in my fave colors in anticipation of larger projects.

Until then, why don't I share what I've been up to these past couplea months! I haven't been getting as much done as I would like due to now working a part-time job but it's just a matter of time before I rebalance.

I'm starting to explore the differences between hand and machine knitting. These 2 guys are the same toothbrush design, same yarn, same number of rows cast-on, but the left is done on the machine and the right is done by hand. It makes me realize what a loose hand-knitter I am! Doing intarsia color-work on the machine, you can't help but have a tight tension and I'm really enjoying it because it adds a sharpness to the design. Not to mention it now means I can pack in more detail into a smaller space.

My tiny houses have gone super tiny now with the tight gauge. This guy measures 1.5" x 2.25". Can't wait to start designing these house more intricately, especially since this house is too tiny for any of my tiny frames, hehe.

These toothbrushes tho, I think I might prefer the look of the hand-knit here. See how varied the 2 brushes are from each other? The machine would add a uniformity that I believe would take away from the character of the design. This piece recently sold to a buddy of mine who reached out via Instagram, I appreciate his support! Eventually I would like to put a series of pieces up for sale online, until then, it's been individuals who reach out to me that I'm selling to for now. Still figuring out outlets for my work.

If you are EVER interested in purchasing something you see here or on any of my web platforms (website, Instagram, Facebook) PLEASE CONTACT ME! If you love it, I want to get it to you!!

I'm now an official member of the Triangle Machine Knitters Guild based out of Raleigh :) they hosted a 5-day spring Knit-In at a local nature preserve that was a great opportunity for me to be in a room-full of experienced machine-knitters. That taught me some many little things about my machine -- like how do I adjust the volume? Is my frame set up right? It was great. Not only are they talented but fun company as well.

Got some knit inspiration off the TV the other day -- I couldn't figure out how they were knitting and purling with the same yarn but getting 2 different colors. When I brought my sketchbook in to the Knit-In, I was instantly taught about plating. Plating is where you carry 2 yarns as you knit, where one color is carried in front and the other in the back. This way the purl side will be a different color than the knit side.

Not only did I learn what plating was, but I learned I could do it on my machine! Mine came with a plating yarn feeder that can hold the yarns front and back.

Here is my first sample with the plating yarn feeder. I love the way that the contrasting yarns create a flecked sort of look. This swatch is way too stiff because I used 2 fingering weight yarns. To create a really nice fabric, I need 2 yarns that when combined, make a standard fingering weight.

Here is a piece I got done during the Knit-In. Can you tell what it says? I'll give you a hint: the dark lines are the shadows of the letters. I originally knit this design at home, and had my fair share of trials-and-errors...

...the biggest lesson being 1) I can't watch TV and machine-knit like the way I can by hand, and 2) understanding how to correctly flip my design so that it comes out the right way. See, when you knit by machine, you face the purl-side of the fabric (aka, the back-side) so you can't really see the finished side until you cast-off and remove it from the machine. After knitting my writing backwards not once, not twice but

3 times (that's where the not-watching-TV lesson was learned),

I finally realized what I was doing wrong. I would flip my pattern in the computer and then read the chart top-down, which would flip the pattern again. Flipping twice means backwards letters for me.

After maintaining my zen and dutifully ripping back, I finally got it right. Alas, even then I came to the decision that this bit of cryptic text might be too cryptic. So I decided to knit it one more time (the green one above) and loosen the tension (allowing more space between the letters) and shortening the letters overall. It's still tricky to read but no one said understanding art was easy!! Also framing it properly and being able to stand back from it helps :)

Did you guess what it says yet? TURD ON A LOG, duhhhh!!!! It's a phrase I use often when I feel like I'm not getting anything done, or I've watched too much TV and not done the laundry. I have no idea where it came from but it has become a part of my regular, nonsense lingo.

Ok, so maybe understanding art can be easy too.

This is another quick study I did at the Knit-In. Here I was inputing single motifs (one bird or one flower) and then using the machine's computing abilities to repeat and flip them as I desired. For me, this is where this software makes sense. I wouldn't want to input a large design like "Turn On A Log", especially if I know I only want to knit it once. I would rather input small motifs and have fun repeating them in various ways.

I've got some big plans for the next few months, focusing on my goal of scaling up. Now if all these friends of mine would quit being so happy and getting married then I would have more time to knit!!

Stay tuned...

Learning How To Knit Again

2015-03-11T11:13:00.000-04:00

Y'ALL, I got the grant!!

My first grant-writing experience, and I got it! In a previous post, I detailed my journey in pursuing the grant and I'm pleased to inform you that my hard work paid off, and I danced alll the way back from my mailbox when I got the news. And I've got a looong driveway! You know, I had almost given up on receiving anything on my first try. This whole art career thing is full of rejections, and it makes things easier if you keep your expectations low. I'm not saying to always view the glass half-empty, but it helps to keep reality at hand in an attempt to protect your self-esteem.

SO, I wrote the grant to ask for funds to buy a knitting machine. And now that I have one, I have to prove that it will further my career in the next year. In fact, that is part of the process. January 2016, I will be submitting a final review of how I spent my grant money and how it helped me. Not only is it a way to hold yourself accountable with others but a supreme kick-in-my-butt to learn how to use this machine as quickly as I can.

Above are some of my first test knittings, using the 2-color stranded pattern function on my machine. I designed the single-motif and repeat patterns in my computer, manually input them into the machine's primitive, electronic system, and then you're ready to knit!

My first time repeating a single motif -- toothbrushes, of course :)

My intimidation quickly dissipated as I started working my way through the manual. I forget that I am capable at understanding basic machinery -- things like oiling generously and looking closely at what's moving where. With enough patience, you remind yourself that it's simple mechanics.

The machine, in a way, works backwards. You see the purl-side (or wrong side) from where you are sitting and you have to go around to the other side to see exactly what you are doing, hence the view in the picture above.

It's hard to take good pictures of the machine but mine has found a cozy nook bumped up next to the record player. Over this past weekend, I executed my first real project with the machine. That meant using nice, wool yarn that I paid money for. Needless to say I was a little uptight at first but there's no better way to learn than to throw yourself in the ring. I decided to start with an intarsia design because I have a death wish and why would I start easy? I mean I already bought the finest gauge machine there is (aka- smallest, hardest-to-see, general feeling like your fingers are way too big when attempting to fix any mistakes, etc) so might as well add a dozen balls of yarn into the mix.

DISCAIMER: For anyone who thinks that buying a knitting machine is cheating, making things easy or automatic in any way, I'd like to debunk your assumptions right now.

Hand-knitting is WAY easier than this!! You can control everything much better since it is all in your hands or lap. With this machine you have up to 200 needles that you need to keep an eye on and god help you if you lose a stitch (or worse a dozen stitches), those babies run faster than you can blink. Just because it says this machine is electronic doesn't mean that it's automatic. You push that carriage back and forth for every row of knitting. In fact, you don't ever plug it in unless you're wanting to use the electronic pattern functions, and in that case, all the machine is doing is moving your needles into the correct position for you. You're still pushing that carriage.

What the machine does well is allow you to knit larger, faster. It really feels much more like working on a loom rather than the hand-knitting I'm accustomed to. Especially doing intarsia color-work, it reminds me of tapestry weaving -- that's where you lay the yarn by hand into each needle, depending on what color goes where, and then push the carriage across, controlling the tension of each yarn ball with your free hand -- The machine is more physically enduring than I expected. The carriage requires more force to run across the bed of needles when doing intarsia. Also my tension was pretty tight which is something I need to troubleshoot. That requires the machine to work even harder.

And of course I was knitting for hours on end because I was so excited about it all. Doing any physical activity for 6 hours will leave something in your body aching.

So what do you think?! It was fun not getting a chance to really see the work until I took it off the needles. It turned out even better than I imagined! There's a fair share of mistakes in there, but I left them in, allowing them to be badges of my learning process. Also probably didn't know how to fix them anyways, hehe. The toothbrushes are nothing new for me but it was smart to start with a design I was familiar with, that way I could focus more on the learning aspect.

This piece ended up around 21" x 18". I used all but 4 needles on the bed. That means that this is about the widest I can go. If my tension was looser it could be a little wider. I'm surprised because when I decided I wanted to scale up, I was imagining a lot larger than this, and now I'm seeing the limitations of the machine. I think this means I'm going to need to work in sections and seam edges together to get the size I'm after.

Look at all those tiny stitches! By the time I cast off, my row counter was at 270. I had so much fun, I can't wait to start my next project.

Also this past month, I've been working on a new batch of "smalls". Mostly, tiny houses but also have some lil' toothbrushes.

I'm hoping to put a series of pieces up for sale online in the near future. The good and bad of this idea is that I'm selling these little houses to my friends and neighbors faster than I can make them! Facebook has been a great platform where people have been reaching out to me about purchasing pieces (you can find me here). If you are ever interested in buying any of my work PLEASE let me know! We can work something out. I'm always open to trades and price negotiations. I need people to buy my work so it has a place to hang and I can continue making more. My house is too small to hang it all!

Quonset hut!! Wish I had one of these in real life.

SIDE NOTE: My beautiful, little niece turned 2 this past month and I can't fight the desire to make her beautiful things. This year I made her a lovely, knitted bunny that is the perfect snuggle size. I hope it brings her happiness!
Free knitting pattern for this bunny available here.

Have a great day!

What I've Learned Since Last Year

2015-02-11T12:10:00.001-05:00

My first art piece of 2015 -- a beaded portrait of Karen O (lead singer of Yeah Yeah Yeahs) titled They Don't Love You Like I Love You, part of a series I'm calling IDOL EYES.

What haven't I learned since last year?

2014 was a big year for me. I decided to prioritize my art career and it took me to some great places -- the most thrilling being that, for the first time in my life, I felt like I found a path in the right direction. I've got focus, motivation, excitement for what I am doing and deep down it feels right.

Can I get a HELL YES for that??!

As much as I avoid lingering in the past, I have found that a little self-reflection on where I used to be can be a great indicator on how far I've come. If you're familiar with me or this blog, you get the idea that I like to dabble in a variety of crafts and mediums. I've put on a lot of different shoes in my short adult life and a lot of them have already been tossed off or buried at this point. The ONE THING that I have been very dedicated to is journaling. I've been consistent with my writing since I graduated college in '08 and started this journey into figuring out a career path. In fact, my journal has been a continuing source of inspiration for my art -- it's where I tend to find the fragments of words and thoughts that turn into artworks.

One rando thing I started doing, would be to open up my journal to today's date last year or years prior and see what I was doing then. (It's amazing the things we forget!) What I discovered in this little game is how powerfully it has shown me just how far I have come. It's easy to get wrapped up in your plans for today, this month, this year, and forget how hard you work just to simply be where you are today. There's an entry in 2009 where I announce to myself that I want to be a textile artist. I say I don't know what that looks like or what kind of work I want to make, I just know that that's the title I want. I was blown away when I saw that because 1). I had no memory of wishing for that and 2). I'm there now. That dream I wished for came true. Or maybe more like, I made it happen. It gets me thinking about what I can wish for today that consciously or subconsciously I can work towards in the years to come. Sometimes I get wrapped up in developing a business plan with clearly-stated goals (not easy) but sometimes if you take the first few steps, you can be led to beautiful possibilities that your mind hadn't even thought to go.

Moral I'm getting from all this?

I should do now, worry less about defining the big picture, trust the process, appreciate how far I've come and look forward to the open doors that I didn't see coming.

Watch Him As He Goes (Dave Grohl), 2008. Back in my Foo Fighters phase (hey, can't say no to a good beard!)

My year started out with one of those unknown doors swinging in my direction. When I built my website, I put all work I had on there that reflected my self-appointed title of textile artist. Not much at the time, but I did have these beaded portraits that I made in school and had always enjoyed. I hadn't thought much about getting back into beading, it was another one of those crafts that I had dabbled in at one point in my life and then hadn't picked back up.

I Would Die 4 U (Prince), 2013. Bow down to him, children! (Still in my Prince phase :)

Then here comes the door a-swinging...

Remember how I made that piece for a poster competition? Welllll, one of the reasons I wanted to enter something was because the competition was being hosted by the best gallery in Greensboro, and probably one of the best in North Carolina. And I thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to put my name in front of their faces. Really, I was going for the prize money but there was also a little voice in the back of my head that told me this was a good move. And I was right. The fabulous lady who runs the shop in front of the gallery saw my knitted piece, sought out my website, and found my beaded portraits. Turns out that Greenhill Gallery had an upcoming self-portrait exhibit and she thought these pieces would be perfect for the shop at that time. !!!!!!!!!

Those eyes, Frida!

We met, she provided me with wonderful words of encouragement and gave me the idea to build shadow boxes for these lil' felt pieces, along with giving me motivation to build them, a place to hang them, and (painful but oh so helpful) a deadline. Like a 2-week one!! I also knew I needed to make one new beaded piece to give myself a good number. 3 small ones and 1 larger one. Frida actually was sewn to a dress for my senior fashion collection and I made the decision to cut her from the cloth. The dress proved to be impossible to hang in an art setting and it was so small and it had sat in a trunk for years collecting weird smells. She needed a new life.

So this all added to the super speed of last month but I couldn't be happier with how these turned out. Thankfully, Adam was willing to build me some last minute frames and I slowly got better with sanding and finishing. Seriously, how are you supposed to get a good lacquer finish out of a spray can in 35 degree weather?? I scraped by.

OBSESSED with how this matte black turned out behind Frida. We added a block behind the felt to give them a floating look and have them hanging from a nail. That way they can still be removed and held. I couldn't bear the idea of making fiber art that can't be touched. And I winced every time someone mentioned velcro.

After all the hustle and bustle of getting these finished, I realized that I was fulfilling another unspoken dream: to get a chance to show at Greenhill. Well, I really want to get in the gallery but the shop is still a very respectful place to be, and now it's only a matter of time before I'm in the big room :) Mind you, I wasn't just blowing on dandelions and sitting on my butt, I've worked consistently to put myself in the way of influential people and places. What I'm saying is, I think it's okay to not have supremely-defined goals but if you put yourself out there in ways, dreams can come to you. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes..

"The harder I work, the better luck I have."

SIDE NOTE: I jumped for joy when I found this single, wild daffodil blooming in the wreckage of what used to be my wooded backyard. I thought that their great shoveling machines would've all but destroyed their vast rooted network. They used to bloom all over the place. I know that this is a good sign for the coming year and all that was destroyed was not totally lost.

I can't wait for spring.

Super Speed

2015-01-27T21:19:00.002-05:00

Finished up a commissioned watercolor painting while being responsible and watching Obama's address.

This year has started off behind the wheel of a Maserati pummeling down the road of expanding opportunities and diminishing down-time. My 2014 year-in-reflection blog post has been frugally attempted in between mouth-fulls of oatmeal while shoving extra pairs of socks on my feet on my way out the door.

The MOST EXCITING DECISION I've made for myself and my art career this year is to virtually remove work-for-hire from my plate. With the addition of an ideal part-time job, I've got enough supplemental income (for now) to turn down the projects I don't really want to do. Thus, creating even more space for me to make the things my creativity leads me to. Ironically, it can be hard for me to say "no" to people when they come to me for help. I want to help and share the skills I have but I need to devote more time to my own ideas. They deserve a whole-hearted try. And so I'm learning how to say "no"!

Having THAT said, there are clients and projects I have already committed to, coming into this year, that I can't bail on. Can you guess my strategy for January? Get all of the projects done as soon as possible! THEN I can go back to my own rainbows. So that's what I've been up to.

Here's where I ended 2014: Melina Coogan, a most distinguished blogger and fiancé to one of my BFFs, approached me for my very first knitted art commission (these are the commissions I wanna take!) to be a most-excellent Christmas gift for aforementioned BFF. I was THRILLED. She gave me full artistic license and I hope I didn't disappoint. This phrase has been rattling through my head for years after seeing it on a shirt from one of my quilt commissions baaack in the day. I just thought it was so eloquent and meaningful on multiple levels. When I was brainstorming ideas for this project, I started reading through Melina's blog and I knew this mantra would be great for her and David to reflect on each day. Maybe just the boost they needs that can help up hold their heads up a little higher for the day ahead.

David has always championed my artistic endeavors and for years has hoped to own one of my pieces. I don't think Melina knew that! It became a gift from both of us to brighten up his new home.

Attempted our first juice cleanse at the start of the year. It was excellent excepting the cost of produce mid-Winter and the sheer frigidness of only drinking cold liquids. We'd like our second-go at it when the weather warms up. On a positive note, I now drink coffee black (no more cream and sugar) and I don't get migraine-ish headaches when I go longer than 3 hours without eating!

Last pair of commissioned jeans. I don't want to stop making jeans but might be more selective about who I make them for. Gravy being unhelpful, per usual.

Super super exciting project in the works involving some old beading projects and a stellar art gallery!! Can't wait to share sooooon!

So maybe Adam and I just aren't in the right place to get a dog of our own. Whether that means blaming our lack of a fence or just our lack of desire for more responsibility, we can't say. But we sure do love playing with our friends' dogs!! Like we get way too excited about it. Maybe we're just meant to be a stellar Aunt and Uncle. Please come visit us out here in the beautiful, piedmont countryside and always bring your dog!

Conscious Thinking // Working on my Hippie

2014-12-17T16:28:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had one of those moments where a thought pops into your head, then everything around you starts to fit into the theme of that thought, and you find yourself swept away into a ball of synergistic energy when your thought turns into an idea which turns into a game plan that turns into an action?

You follow me? You know what I'm talking about!

I had that happen to me this week, or has it been a month? It started with a sudden sinking feeling when I realized that I needed to make more money to sustain myself, and decided after 2 years of attempting to be a full-time freelancer, to look for a job. Something part-time, just to supplement the freelance work I've been fortunate enough to get. The universe shone their blessings on me that day because, literally, 30 seconds on Craigslist produced exactly what I was looking for. Gaia Conceptions, a business that I have greatly admired (and spoken-of on this blog here) was looking for a seamstress for 2 days-a-week. PERFECT! I started work the next Monday.

Check out my next desk!! Window and all.

Now here's where the thought started.

One of the reasons that I was really interested in working with Gaia Conceptions is their incredibly sustainable business practices, in regards to the environment. All the fabrics for their garments are organic and consciously manufactured, dyed in the studio using natural or low-impact dyes, and made-to-order, eliminating unwanted stock. With an emphasis on quality craftsmanship and made-in-America, Andrea basically built the business that I would want to build. It's still fashion, we're not saving lives here, but she's thinking responsibly about every aspect of doing what she loves doing, designing and making clothes. She's not compromising.

I feel like as I get older, I slowly become aware of ways I can apply my morals into every action I take. I think the Slow Food Movement has been great to bring awareness to food choices we make but we need to start bringing awareness to all aspects of our lives. Every thing we put on our body, in our mouths, in our environments, and what we choose to spend our money on.

Some small knittings that are finally getting framed this week. I start by stapling them to plywood painted in a complimentary color. I learned the hard way that I don't like seeing plywood through my knittings, painting them first looks so much better!

SO, working at Gaia gets me thinking about the materials I use in my art and where they come from. And, as crunchy as I am already, I hate to admit that I haven't considered it much. My focus is color then price, and where the yarn comes from or who's making it hadn't even been a thought in my mind. God.....I'm a monster!! Not to mention, the tools I use. I do gather the wood I use for my frames in the off-cut bin at work (aka Skram Furniture), so that's good, but the plywood is usually Home Depot new. How do I rectify this situation??

SYNERGISTIC SUCCESSION OF EVENTS

-- listening to this podcast ----> Woolful episode 1 (if you are interested in brevity or not a total fiber nerd, I'd say pass on listening to this)

...which introduced me to...

-- Ton Of Wool, a new company based out of Australia that is providing to the commercial market an ethically and sustainably produced yarn.

They only sell their yarn in the natural color of the sheep's hair (white, grey, black) so this got me thinking about the possibility of buying their yarn and dying it myself. This would change my color palette significantly. I would say that a signature of my work is bright color and there's limitations if you're not using powerful chemicals or synthetic fibers. Am I willing to make that change? Well, if you think about all aspects of the modern American life, there's very little of our habits that are ultimately sustainable. That means to create real change, we have to either use our amazing brains to figure out how to have it all in a sustainable way, or learn to reduce. Live with less. There's no time like the present for me to start to adapt more environmental practices into my art and, who knows, maybe it could push to an even cooler place with my work. The greatest place I could find would be to create the product I want and maintain the sustainable habits. No compromises. But, I'll never know until I start.

The studio table this week. My figure skating poster competition entry got mounted (left) and my first art commission in progress (right). Can't wait to share the finished project soon! I do love those bright colors...

The second episode of Woolful brought even more ideas for converting to a sustainable art practice. In this podcast, Ashley discusses methods for recycling yarn from unwanted garments with Jerome Sevilla, aka Grid Junky. What a fabulous idea!! I love recycling!! I'm totally in love with this idea. There's a possibility here to find more color options outside of what is dyeable in the domestic studio if you're good for the hunt. I'm certainly willing to try.

I was so amused by this giant mall in town (Greensboro), titled Destiny, accompanied by an empty parking lot. What is this? I almost don't want to know. I love living in the weirdness of a run-down city, lacking in revitalization. They just have so much character.

So what's your destiny?

Are you hoping it will find you or are you willing to cultivate it? To mold it into exactly the person that you want to be. I want my destiny to be an environmentally-conscious one, a destiny that can fulfill my creative dreams and stand by my ethical morals, and I'm starting now to make that happen. And maybe it will lead me to something that I never even knew was possible. I can't wait to find out.

Art as Therapy

2014-12-10T15:14:00.000-05:00

This past month has put me through the ringer in ways that have led me to feel very out-of-control of my own life. The worst kind of unhinged that I just can't handle. The first being total annihilation of my backyard. Where once there was secluded woods, filled with wild daffodils and fox families, now sits a most aesthetically-jarring solar panel farm. You can find a good before shot here.

That means there's been loud noises, construction, and workers crawling all over since the end of August and, even though the work seems to be finished, they have yet to completely depart.

It's led to me avoiding my studio in favor of hiding in my house, and become a general distraction to all else.

On the plus side, it did inspire this art piece. I made it before construction started as a way for me to face the inevitable and force acceptance. The worst part of all of it is, when things happen so close to you, you feel like there may be some way to have some power over it, and when you can't change it or prevent it, you partially blame yourself for not trying harder. And the fact that I'm only renting really provided a feeling of helplessness.

ACTUAL IDEAS THAT RAN THROUGH MY MIND:

- chain myself to trees (obviously)

- pour malicious ingredients into the gas tanks of their construction equipment

- go over to their office (hideous trailer parked in front yard) and scream every evil comment I know

- slash tires

- bitch to my landlady incessantly (actually did that) truth is, I think she lost her control over the project as well, at least she acted like that was the case

-move

And moving still is an option, even though at one point we seriously were considering buying the house. For now, we're still here. I put a decent chunk of money into building out my home studio and I'm just not ready to walk away from that investment yet. BUT I digress.

The greatest ending, at least the one I'd like to focus on, is that the art piece (filled with all my hatred and frustration) was donated to the Carrack's annual fundraiser and this amazing guy bought it. He and his family will enjoy it for what it is and not the negative feelings I've attached to it. I can't help but think that this is a good ending to my self-applied therapy session.

OK so that's just the first part...

Several different types of meltdowns have followed as a result of the backyard changes. Second being the crisis over what I call "home". Suddenly this house that I had described regularly as being "magical" became a place of hostility. The desire to own a home prioritized itself in my thoughts, and I used the fuel to work on building my "dream home". Therapy Session Round 2.

The Tiny House series started with the Love Signs show, all original 5 sold, which obviously meant that I should make more! So now became the pertinent time to continue with them. As you can see, I've been having fun getting creative with my architecture.

The final stressor, that I'm most currently in the process of coping with, is feelings of general offense towards modern society. I abhor construction, I feel like everyone's priorities conflict with my own, the world is backwards, and we're destroying the earth, and no one is smart enough to make a change because everyone only cares about money, and it all compounds into a deep hopelessness towards mankind and the world around me. How did I get here? It hurts so bad, how do I come out of this hole?

For starters, I'm working on fixing my thought patterns to at least keep from destroying myself but I don't know yet how successful I will be. It looks like I need to think of a new art project.

Looking Ahead (aka Grant-writing)

2014-11-18T11:21:00.000-05:00

The continuing saga entitled my art career has once again found its heroine entering new territory: grant-writing
also know as,
what-I-do-and-why-you-should-give-me-money-to-do-it.
There's certain artists out there that, with great success, follow a path of residencies, competitions and grants. This means countless hours devoted to research, writing and filling out applications. I've been of the belief that if you spend all your time pursuing these opportunities, you find yourself making less art and more persuasive essays. Why would I want to waste my time?

BUT, like all good ideas, this Regional Artist Grant for Guilford County (+ 5 neighboring counties) was placed in my inbox. All the details presented at just the right time and a far-enough-away deadline for me to think "I could do this". But grant-writing isn't me, right?

Then my next push from the universe: I went to a fundraising gala where a one-hour grant writing session, with a seasoned vet in the field, was up for auction. I took it as a sign, knowing how little I knew about grant-writing and being smart enough to see a chance to get valuable help. I made sure I won it, and I'm awfully glad I did. Sometimes, my biggest hurdle can be simply understanding the prompt. This grant proposal was no exception. The prompt was simple really; it asked "What do you want to do next year with your art?"

What am I doing? Where do I want to go?

I was stumped. I have worked so hard to get where I am this year, I hadn't even begun to think about plans for next year. I thought so hard about it I swear my head hurt for a week. I was awash in emotional instability, lost at sea on the 20-something raft of life that I had fooled myself into thinking was in the right direction. Well, not even the right direction, any direction really. I found that I didn't didn't have any pie-in-the-sky dreams for my art or art career. How can I follow a direction if I don't even have a goal? More instability, more drifting.

With the help of grant-queen Margaret, I was able to eventually wrap my brain around what was being asked of me. We improvised our one-hour into a series of emails where I would throw all my ideas at her (I mean all of them) and she gently nudged me in the right direction. I really did a lot of soul-searching over the month leading up to the deadline, including some intensive brain-storming sessions with my bff, where we wrote down as many big dreams as we could think of in 10 minutes. And then organized them into groups and talked about it. Lots of talking.

In the end, I went for something clear and definable, easily monetized into their mandatory budget proposal and simple to write about its benefits: I asked for funds to purchase a knitting machine. It was an idea I hadn't given more than a passing fancy but, as I reflected on my art, I realized how much I desired to scale up my work and how this machine would allow me to do it. The real reason I hadn't looked into buying a machine before was because I was WHOLLY INTIMIDATED. Where do I buy a machine? Which one do I buy? How do I learn how to use it? What if I can't figure it out and I wasted all this time and money?? But then, there was the magic of the grant. If I sit down and actually do research on them -- persuade others into why this would be great for me -- then maybe I'll gain some more confidence. AND if they actually give me the money, then I HAVE TO figure it out!

Along with working with Margaret and getting my friends' advice, I reached out to Instagram friends who I knew owned knitting machines and asked for their input.

----(Lemme tell you, I have been blown away with the network of artists and crafters I've met through Instagram! It's been quite the valuable tool for advancing my art career)----

Of course, they were great help and eventually led me to learning about a local machine knitters guild in my area. With fabulous luck, they were meeting the next day and 2 days before my grant was due. THAT was the ticket! They sat down with me and literally walked me through my budget proposal, telling me exactly what I needed to buy and how much it would cost. They even offered to help me shop. Not to mention, they will be a valuable support system once I actually get a machine and need to learn. That's right, now that I've done all the research, I have to get a machine, whether or not this grant comes through. I'll figure it out.

FINAL THOUGHTS ON GRANT-WRITING: I have to say, I think I might be a big fan of grants now. You still have to accept the fact that you have no control over how many other people with great ideas apply, who the judges are, and what their personal tastes may be. But I've already gained so much just in the process of writing it. It forced me to think ahead and dream big. I'm thinking that I should apply for a grant every year, simply for those benefits. It's so amazing that we have programs in place specifically for encouraging artists to keep doing what they're doing, why not try your luck at some of that funding. Even if you don't get it, you'll be amazed at where it can take you.

What are you doing next year?

Alex's Quilt

2014-10-27T12:34:00.001-04:00

Alex's Quilt

85" x 70"

It's been long overdue that I share these pictures of my last quilt commission. Alex was a vibrant young boy who died before his time from bone cancer. His family gave me the responsibility of honoring their son by repurposing his clothing into a quilt for his bed. As difficult as this sounds, I have always been thrilled to take on projects like this. To me, this is what quilt-making is all about and I love the fact that I can help people create new from the old, beauty from pain.

Here's Alex in his element, playing sports! This isn't the first time I have seen this shirt, I also made a quilt for his aunt, out of her boys' clothing, and we featured Alex there as well. Same shirts have popped up in multiple projects I've done over the years. Because I get all my business through word-of-mouth, it means that clients recommend me to their friends and family and I like getting a chance to learn their overlapping stories.

For starters, I wanted to infuse as much happiness into the project as I could. That's where the idea for the sun came in. I also had a very strict palette of red, white, blue, and gray that I couldn't help, so I knew I wanted to bring in a third color, and you can't go wrong with primaries. Oh, and one neon green shirt...how was I going to balance that? The best way I found to organize the color of his shirts was to group all the red around the middle, buffer the blue with the white and grey in between and go darker to black as I worked my way out. Then my solution for the green was to make sure there was a little pop in each section. This way it wouldn't look so out of place to have just the one green shirt. In the end, I love all the green everywhere. Something that came from constraints that I would've never done otherwise. Love when that happens.

When I made my preliminary sketches for this quilt top, I played with the idea of some kind of animal anchoring the middle. When I approached Alex's mother with the idea, she brought me to Alex's memorial garden out back - full of turtles. Apparently, he loved turtles and it became a symbol for his memory. I was thrilled to learn this because I love turtles too, so there was my next idea. I documented the making of the turtle here, including the zippered pouch along the bottom of his shell.

This was definitely my most ambitious t-shirt quilt to date. Crazy quilting with stretch knits?? I utilized freezer paper to help me construct each wedge between the sun's rays. And I made a tape layout of the entire quilt on the floor before I even started, and I barely had a floor big enough in my house to amply design this piece. See proof below.

I realized that my new studio is just not set up for making quilts anymore. In my last space, I had 2 large design walls that were fabulous! But when I tried to work on projects other than quilts (ie-sewing clothes) I found it much more difficult. My passion for making quilts had been waining and I was craving sewing projects that I could turn around faster. Not to mention, in the 4-years that I had been making quilts-for-hire, I had yet to really make enough money to call it a sustainable business practice. Let's be honest, it is a labor-of-love business that I was falling out of love with. And in the months since I finished this quilt, I have discovered the lightness of living without a long-term project in my life. As painful as it can be to turn your back on something you have loved so deeply, it's important to allow yourself to change, and reassess your true feelings in the now. Especially for an artist. To be able to find inspiration, get an idea, and act on it promptly is a dream I always lust after. For now, this is my last quilt. On to new, exciting adventures!

Basketball Moons

2014-10-13T16:17:00.000-04:00

A new piece I zipped through this past week. "Basketball Moons"

I've always loved drawing basketballs, their undulating design just appeals to me. Nothing to do with the actual sport, just the shape of the ball. But it's safe to assume that, growing up across the street from Duke, in the heart of ACC country, the game has gotten into my blood. I can never bring myself to touch the color baby blue (the signature color of UNC-Chape Hill), it just feels wrong!!

I am so happy I finally managed to knit a b-ball. To be honest, I didn't even know what I meant when I decided to mix a ball with a moon. Their 2 shapes just fit well together -- moons being something that frequently appear in my work. After it was finished, and people started telling me they liked it, instead of "are you crazy?" I realized it made sense somehow. Those of us who base our lives around the cycle of basketball. The general acceptance of a society who treats "sports as life". Or maybe the way a game can push and pull us like the way the moon controls the tides.

I use the term "us" loosely cause you know I don't give a shit!

An inside shot of how I manage to pull back the ends of my knitting and get them to lie flat on the back of a frame. After this point, I glue a piece of fitted kraft paper to the back to make it look nice and clean. And sign the paper once more. This stitching may seem crazy tedious but I gain a lot of pleasure in doing it and it really doesn't take that much time.

I was inspired to knit up the basketballs after local Chapel Hill store, Thrill City, invited me to show some work on their Franklin Street walls. I went in and hung "Tig Ol' Bitties", surveyed their empty spots, and came back with "Dead, Dead, Dead" and the freshly-framed "Basketball Moons"

Their store is very sports-centered so, needless to say, you can see where the inspiration came from. Really thrilled to have some pieces out in the public and not shut up in my studio. Big thanks to the Thrill City guys for giving me a chance to get my art out to Chapel Hill! Just don't make we wear Carolina blue!

2014-10-02T11:57:00.000-04:00

I'm really excited to share that I will be teaching some classes this fall at the Sawtooth School for Visual Art in Winston-Salem, NC. This school is situated in the Arts Council building in the heart of downtown, full of inspiring art and crafts and some seriously lust-worth studio spaces. They have brought me in in an effort to revitalize their fiber programs, and I couldn't be more pumped to offer two new classes this fall:

WARDROBE REHAB / REINVENT YOUR CLOSET

COLOR KNITTING TECHNIQUES

Color Knitting Techniques will be a 4-part class and you KNOW I'm confident about teaching that. As for Wardrobe Rehab, this is a spin-off of one of my favorite classes that I have taught over the years, where I help people repair and alter their existing wardrobe, teaching fundamental skills that will allow people to do-for-themselves and use-it-up/wear-it-out instead of buy-trash-buy. It's also a great introduction to the sewing machine for those looking to build their confidence with this amazingly practical tool.

In preparation for my new class, I decided to turn towards my own wardrobe. I'm usually pretty good about doing a periodical purge, but lately I've been feeling my style start to change, and my closet has not been reflecting that. In the past, donated items meant things that didn't fit anymore. But now, I wanted to get rid of all the things that didn't represent the direction I want to be going in and really start to dress everyday in a style that inspires me!

The whole project started with me taking every lil' thing out of my lil' closet and piling them up in Adam's band room (hehe) I wanted to take my time really curating what I was going to put back in there so moving it all into a room that I could leave messy for a while was a great luxury. Then I started with the obvious, the pieces that I absolutely love and wear to death. They went right back in. Next were some pretty easy choices ready for the giveaway pile. Now what was left is all the hard stuff. Things that used to be my favorites, things that fit but aren't exactly the style I'm cultivating, treasured vintage pieces, and, of course, piles and piles of t-shirts.

I'm gonna be honest, this stuff sat around for a while.

Ugg, decisions! I knew that things needed to be tried on and examined: does it fit in a way that is flattering? Do I feel comfortable? Do I look the way I want to look in this? Do I have complimentary garments that can make an outfit?

Day by day I would find the time to try an article of clothing on and run it through the ringer. Second opinions helped a lot when I could get them ("you say my butt doesn't look good in this? Bye bye!") Soon I discovered a third pile of "needs-alterations/needs-repairs" that would become my launching pad for coming up with some great ideas to share with my class.

As soon as I get a chance to snap some photos, I will share what kind of updates I've made to my existing wardrobe! I'm having a lot of fun with this!!

US Figure Skating Championships contest

2014-10-01T11:01:00.001-04:00

The city of Greensboro + Greenhill Center for the Arts held a poster competition for the US Figure Skating Championships, that Greensboro will be hosting in January 2015. At first, I wasn't sure if I was interested but the cash prize was enticing enough for me to get out my sketchbook and think of some ideas. I knew I wanted to design something that was a reflection of my personal artwork, so that meant it needed to be knitted. I ended up having a lot of fun designing this piece. It proved to be my most challenging original design yet! But, with this project, I finally learned a decent way to design my knits in the computer in an efficient manner, without buying a special program. That was huge! The Intarsia knitting was not too complicated for me but the scale of the final piece (18"x 22") proved to be quite time consuming. I spent several days cramped up into positions on the couch that took its toll on my back. Oh the sacrifices I make for art!! I turned in my piece yesterday and fingers crossed I make it to the semi-finalist round.

I'm really proud of how this piece ended up and really thankful that the city and the state create these kinds of initiatives to help support NC artists. I love my home state!!

In-progress, mega-knotted knitting. The biggest problem I had working on this was a single-ply yarn that had such open fibers, it wanted to grip and tangle with anything it touched including itself. The absolute trick for doing this kind of color knitting is working with short strands of yarn that are easily pulled through any tangles you might encounter. I would ignore the tangles until I literally could not move the yarn anymore and then sit down and untangle everything. Eek!!