Personal Journey and Adventures of Nina

Zombie Meets Indulgent Sufferers - My recent stay in hospital.

2025-10-05T18:47:00.005+11:00

I arrived at the Emergency Room, wrapped in my toasty blanket. Despite it being 28° outside of my furry throw rug, it was closer to 40°C inside my body, so it felt freezing to me. I slowly moved through the doors like the walking dead emerging from a post-apocalyptic horror scene. The admin nurse took one look at me and bade me sit in the red priority chairs, whilst I waited for my triage nurse to finish her tea. I lowered myself tentatively and, unable to remain upright, lay shivering across all three chairs.

The nurse arrived abruptly and suggested emphatically, before she had examined me, that I had Rhinovirus. I explained to her that, as Rhino = nose and my nasal passages were decidedly clear and my brain decidedly lucid that I begged to differ. She replied, “What do you mean by lucid?”

I pretended that the roll of my eyes was due to the fever and briefly explained lucidity as the opposite of brain fog, then went on to relay my actual symptoms. Above-normal temperature, low blood pressure, and cloudy urine. “Why do you have a blood pressure machine?” and “Why didn’t you take any Panadol?” Good lord, please, please, just take my vitals and move me to the treatment room already!

After Blood and Urine tests revealed that a nasty bacteria had indeed invaded my body, normal CRP (the protein produced that indicates inflammation) is around 0.3-5 mg/L, and mine was 176 mg/L, I was immediately put on intravenous fluids and antibiotics. As there was no bed available, I was sent on my merry way with a script and my trusty blanket, only to return several hours later with another soaring temperature and much discomfort.

“On a scale of 1-10, how much pain are you in?” I expressed this to be an extremely subjective question, and to provide context, explained that I had given birth three times without drugs, so that in comparison, this would be a 5, which is probably most people’s 9.

The Doc proceeded to push and prod. When he pressed on my back, I flinched and jerked, yelling OUCH, or maybe another four-letter word, I can’t be sure.. He replied, “As I suspected... Acute Pyelonephritis, you have a kidney infection. We are admitting you immediately”.

Well, this should be fun!

They found a space for me. Space, not a room. I was parked in a curtained-off area of the day surgery ward, where a lovely little Indian nurse checked on me at regular intervals, apologising profusely for the starkness of the space. I didn’t care in the least. I was just glad to finally have a diagnosis, other than Rhinovirus, and to be receiving treatment.

All the care staff were great. Doctors, nurses, the guys that wheeled me to the CT and X-ray rooms, to the lovely ladies who delivered my just-edible meals three times a day, all kind, soft spoken, and genuinely caring as well as efficient. So I found it difficult to believe the treatment they received from the petulant, if not cantankerous, patients around me.

During my time, roommates came and went. (Yes, they eventually found me a room).

First, there was a wheeling, dealing real-estate lady, who, in between negotiating properties, “you likey this one, it has pool. Good school make good price for you”, ”yelled at the staff for treating her like an animal. “You racist, you don’t treat me like this. I want to speak to boss.” “I want make complaint.” I overheard every conversation, and she had been treated with respect and kindness the entire time.

Next was Her Hysterectomy Highness, who was wheeled in whilst I was on the phone to a friend. She immediately sent the nurse over to ask me to stop talking as she needed to rest. I went for a walk and finished my phone conversation, and let the precious princess take a nap. I needed to move anyhow. I returned after a while, when Her Highness awoke and went on to apologise in advance for any wind she might make during the night. I replied that this wasn’t a hotel and that her farts weren’t as loud as her snoring. The woman sounded like a freight train!

Come on, kidney. You can do this. We need to escape this thankless, ungrateful cesspool.

Next came the NO Soy Milk woman. At the top of her voice (she was down the hall and along the corridor), “I can’t believe they don’t have Soy Milk!!!” What does she think this is, the Ritz! “I want to speak to the Dietician.” I don’t eat pineapple, grapes, apples, dairy, yoghurt… on and on. It’s damn day surgery, Darling. I do think you will survive 24 hours.

I wasn’t fully recovered, but I begged to be released. After five days, they relented, only allowing me to go with strict care instructions. I had wonderful care, except for Rhinovirus Nurse, and am extremely grateful to everyone at Royal North Shore Hospital. I saw my GP on Thursday and can report that I am now all clear of infection.

To all the entitled, thankless humans I encountered, I wish you a happy, grateful existence.

THE AUTHOR

As it does, life took a devastating sideways turn for me. With fierce determination, I quit my teaching job, shut down my photography business, packed up my apartment, hired an agent and rented it out on Airbnb, bought a ticket to London and embarked on an adventure of discovery, both about the world and myself. I’ve learned a great deal about people, places and myself. I’m happy that you are here for the ride. Nina x

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story - The Final Word

2024-01-01T09:14:00.005+11:00

THE FINAL WORD

Present: As I prepare for my return trip to London, I flick through upcoming walks on Meetup hoping I might join one during my stay, when I come across a picture of him from a recent event. A woman, his latest girlfriend I suspect, leans into him smiling contentedly. She seems happy. He looks mildly distressed and lost in contemplation. I suspect he needs to tell her something but he is too afraid.

He’s done it again.

The Parisian Doctor and I didn’t work out. We did go for lunch and it was all very exciting but I don’t think I was quite ready and there was that niggling feeling that I was being catfished.

After Paris, we met up a few more times for walks and drinks where he persistently asked me about “the Doctor”. I wondered whether it was jealousy or zealousness to have me attached so that I might make a trajectory out of his orbit. I think the latter.

Sipping Pinot Grigio at Gordon’s wine bar near Charing Cross station one afternoon, he confessed that he was resolved to never have a great love again and that the one woman he could see himself in a relationship with was D with whom he had been friends for many years. She, of course, is completely unaware of how he feels.

If he was hoping for a bigger impact, he missed the mark. I see his revelation for what it is, the culmination of a string of behaviours over recent weeks attempting to push me away without having to say the actual words. The longer response times in messaging, the purposeful deterioration in his appearance, and then finally not including me in his birthday celebrations. I see it all yet feign ignorance, willing him to be courageous enough to say the actual words…he never does.

I tell him that we are all capable of another “great love” and that he should most certainly reveal his feelings to D. Until he does, he is lying to himself, to her and to any other woman he might ever be with.

He doesn’t respond.

A change of scenery and a new start beckon. I travel to Ardent in the French Alps where I will spend a remarkable few weeks of contemplation and growth and where I began to write this story.

I believe you meet people for a reason and this was never more apparent to me than here in Ardent where I met women who encouraged me to act in a way that would change my life forever.

These women helped reveal in me, the courage and strength that I hold within myself. They urged me to sever the relationship completely. Not just release my affection and love but a clean and brutal break. With a new sense of confidence and control, I write him a letter outlining my feelings. How I love him but that I am breaking away. I post the letter and email him to say it’s on the way then unfriend, unfollow and release him from all of my social accounts. One of us needed the courage to do it and in the end, it came down to me.

I have not heard from him since.

In this time apart, I have not missed him at all. I have not pined. I have not regretted this decision in the slightest. On the contrary, I’ve never felt so strong and innately happy in all my life. The woman who went into this relationship was naïve, gentle, loving, and excitable. Who came out was a strong, wise, confident woman knowing that she was capable of love but that did not have to lose herself within the relationship to hold onto it.

My remarkable journey takes me to some incredible places around Europe where the chance meeting of one person led to another person and another place. I am compelled to write about this revelatory journey in a travel journal style complete with my photography. Meanwhile, I’m heading back to my source of inspiration, to London, to write it. Wish me luck. N x

P.S. I never did get the full $500 that I was owed. So much for always paying his debts.

P.S.S. As of this day, one of my sons and I are reunited. Sadly, the other two cannot seem to get past the pain and suffering they endured as children in our abusive household. Sometimes it initially seems easier to blame others for your pain, though, in the end, you are the only person who suffers. They will come to realise this in time. Until then, to my young adults, I love you. Mum x

The End...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 14 - The Paris Prince

2024-01-01T09:14:00.004+11:00

Ah, Paris.

The romance of Paris is not about romantic love. It’s the art it exudes in all its forms - paintings, sculpture, architecture. It’s in the history that seeps from its walls. The stories that echo in its chandeliered foyers. The appreciation of beauty. The leisurely pace. The love of living.

What better way to celebrate Paris and all its beauty than through photography? I am very fortunate to have my great friend J, a fellow photographer, here living in the very heart of Paris, just a moment's walk from The Arc de Triomphe. We spend each day walking and photographing and sometimes just being tourists visiting iconic spots, and partaking in the great Parisian pastime of shopping for clothes, which J is surprisingly good at.

We traverse the city scouting its best locations, where we shoot from bridges and great landmarks; the Eifel Tower at sunset, and the Louvre at sunrise.

Pont Alexandre III

Pont Alexandre III and all of its gold-gilded glory is the chosen location for our sunset photography this particular night. I struggle for inspiration, pacing and searching before finally settling myself at the south end of the bridge with a view down the Seine toward the Place de la Concorde and its 18th-century obelisk.

As I begin setting up my tripod and camera, a strikingly handsome man saunters over and asks for my advice on how he might take a better photo with his phone. He is debonair, reminiscent of a 1920s film star and assumes the air of an Arabian Prince. His peering brown eyes and smooth, sophisticated voice disquieted me somewhat and my immediate response is a fight or flight one. I look around for J but he is deep in conversation with another photographer. I smile blankly as my mind deliberates. I’m hardly dressed for such a rendezvous, this is a stranger, and I’m missing the sunset. Stop. I take a moment. As my thoughts quieten, I decide to abandon my unfruitful efforts at photographing the sunset and continue our conversation, after all, this is the start of the new me and well, this is Paris.

The story goes, his family hails from Morrocco where they own an Olive dynasty. He and his sister were sent to Paris to study. She is a lawyer and he, a Doctor. I became lost in the exoticness of his story so when it was finally time to part and he suggested we meet the following day for lunch, I agreed.

Already embodying beauty, art and history, could love now be included in its list of attributes? Paris, the city of love.

The story continues...here

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 13 - The New Woman

2024-01-01T09:14:00.003+11:00

As the train weaves its way through the vast green, undulating hills of Kent, I feel a mild flurry of anticipation. He has planned two days of adventure for us and after all of this time, I am finally granted a glimpse into his brave new world; his new apartment with recently acquired furniture and décor, the print of mine of our Tongariro Crossing that he had framed, his new sporty car, his local shops and pubs and the walking trails he takes each day.

Anxiety reeks.

He opens the door with cautious hesitation, and I see that he is nervous.

“It’s not as nice as yours”. He says

We spend the morning wandering through the historical Knole, and its surroundings, an ancient woodland home to fallow and silka deer. Then a stroll through Shoreham, a quaint unaltered village where cobblestoned streets and crooked old cottages ooze tall tales of Tudor escapades and Shakesperean drollery; and finally a brisk walk around Sevenoaks Nature Reserve, a former quarry now a wildlife conservation area and home to Nina’s pond.

At day's end, we relive the highlights over drinks and dinner at The Rose and Crown. The conversation naturally shifts to his recent walking adventures. His voice wavers as he nervously mentions that he has met someone whom he finds attractive. He quickly follows up with …“but it’s not going to work out.” He watches intently for my reaction. I’d been expecting something like this for some time and was relieved to finally hear it from him though it still caused a quiver in my stomach and a twist in my chest. I hope it didn’t show.

Inside Winston Churchill's home, Chartwell

The following day, after a fascinating meander through Winston Churchill’s home, Chartwell, he takes me to meet his daughter at her new apartment followed by a trip to Bluewater shopping centre to solicit my opinion on a Bremont watch he is keen to buy for his upcoming “special” birthday. He also wants my opinion about the size and colour of a sofa he has chosen for his apartment. When I suggest the smaller of the two would be better suited to his lifestyle and apartment size, He comments “You don’t know what I might have coming up in my life.”

Prediction. What he has coming up are coffee catchups, dinners out, nights at the theatre, and afternoon walks with her, this young accountant from Bromley called H. I know that his “it’s not going to work out” is a temporary safeguard. He will pursue her with vigour.

I walk away from him over to the home accessories department and take a breath. A tear begs to rise but I will it to stay at bay. I pull myself together and resolve that I will not let it affect me. It's time to move on.

I return to London and pack my bags for Paris.

The story continues...here

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 12 - My Return to London

2024-01-01T09:13:00.004+11:00

Anxiously, I wait precisely as instructed at the bottom of the escalator, across from the exit gates at Liverpool Street Station.

Where is he? I followed his directions implicitly. He will definitely be in a panic somewhere by now. He is a fastidious planner and adheres to agendas with meticulous precision. If not to schedule, he becomes horribly distressed. He will also be uneasy about our meeting for the first time since he left me bereft at Sydney airport more than a year earlier.

It’s one thing to hide behind the safety of our distant locations. Phone messages and calls are impervious to the nuances in a person's expression. The furrow of the forehead, the squint of an eye, or a turned-up mouth edge all go undetected behind the protection of a WhatsApp call.

In the weeks leading up to our reunion, he connected constantly about plans for the theatre, dinner and grand walking tours. These calls and messages intensified as the day approached when I would jump onto a plane and we would finally see each other, face to face.

My Qantas flight touched down in Darwin to refuel, and as I walked through to the transit lounge, his message pinged through. I smiled to myself. Was he actually tracking my flight?

“Hello Darwin!! 😊

Just the long leg to go!

Hope all is okay ✈️”

Within 10 minutes of my arrival in London, another message

“All okay Nina? 😊🌧️

After his phone call and third message that day, my cousin and I looked at each other. “OK, this really is a bit much”. I smiled knowingly.

Liverpool station is abuzz with the usual throng of transiting Londoners so I decide that the top of the escalator will provide a better vantage point. I hop on the moving stairway and as I am conveyed to the mezzanine level, scan the crowded station for sight of him.

There he is.

His head down, tension securely fastened across his face, frantically striding through the station. I about-turn and quickly hop onto the downward escalator calling out to him with a wave. He acknowledges me with immense relief as I hasten toward him with a wide smile and arms outstretched. Immediate relief comes over him. He grabs me and holds me tight as tears well in his eyes. He pushes me out at arm's length, his voice shaky he asks “Where were you?” I could tell he was anxious and excited about our meeting. “A misunderstanding I guess, there are two escalators.”

We walk and talk for hours.

Home of The Huguenots of Fournier Street

As we wander past London’s oldest shopfronts on Artillery Lane he relates stories about the Huguenots, their escape from France, their settlement in Fournier Street and subsequent lace and clock-making enterprises. I should be in awe of the significance of the history surrounding me but somehow, can’t quite take it all in. My head is swirling with the realisation that I am actually here.

As we wander, he speaks about his walking adventures. He had mentioned to me during our long-distance chats that he had joined Meetup and a few walking groups to meet new people in his area. Instinctively, I know he has joined intending to meet a love interest but true to form, he won’t say so.

“You know Meetup is a disguise for a dating app”

Finished with our history lesson, we settle into the Prospect of Whitby for a well-deserved beverage with which, our discussion becomes more lively. By the time we order our next round of wine and beer at Ian McKellan’s pub, The Grapes, things become quite animated and we are almost back to the old days, almost. We talk about his kids, doing well. Mine, not so much. We reminisce about our travels. I remind him that he owes me $500 for a COVID-cancelled Uluru trip. He replies, “I always pay my debts.” Yet despite our friendly banter, I sense a minor rift. A fissure in the foundations of our friendship. I’m certain now that he is hiding something from me, hiding something from himself.

I wasn’t certain of what this was but I was soon to find out.

The story continues...here

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 11 - The Final Breakdown

2022-12-17T21:17:00.029+11:00

"When Twin Flames meet there is a powerful recognition followed by an overwhelming intensity, as a forceful magnetism, draws the two parts of the same soul together. A constant pull toward each other to reunite."

We are inexplicably drawn to each other like dazzled-eyed moths to a fiery flame. As our messaging and conversations resume, we find new ways to bond.

One morning on my regular walk in the National Park, I happen upon a pair of Superb Fairy Wren snuggling on a fallen log. Unperturbed by my presence, I continue to watch them. Observing them takes me out of my head and stops me from thinking about how alone I feel and how much I miss him. I resolve to use being present and birdwatching combined to set me on a path of healing. I take it one step further by bringing my camera along to record my journey. A journey along which, he becomes a willing companion.

_________💙__________

"Your job as a twin flame is not to focus on your twin but to focus on healing yourself. "

He marvels at the variety of species I encounter and my ability to record them exquisitely within their environment. I am amazed they continue to find me. It is as though they sense my need for connection and pop down to let me know that everything will be OK.

I begin posting daily images on my Instagram account along with "stories" showing the wonderful places I am venturing to in my quest to find these birds. This now becomes a hub around which our connection is invigorated. As he views every story and likes each post, I begin to look out for him. When his little profile bubble appears in the viewer's list, (always at the top as Instagram has designated him my most avid follower), I am overwhelmed with a sense of relief at first, then comfort. This impels me to create and share more.

Our conversations now include my birding adventures. He seems enthusiastic about my discoveries and even helps me to identify them, and of course, I encourage him to do so. In July (2021), we plunge into another lockdown and I take the opportunity to write a children's book using the birds I've encountered to help describe emotions. He helps me do the edit.

As well as the birds, we chat regularly about day-to-day life. These conversations last for hours at a time and leave me both fulfilled and agitated all at once. On one level we are great friends but I miss his physical presence, his daily diatribes, his morning hug, and our walks.

_________💙__________

"The Twin Flame relationship is about enlightenment. It will break you down and build you back up as you are meant to be."

It is painfully difficult to hear about the life he is living without me. The trivia nights, the walks of discovery around London, and rambling through the Kent countryside. He has now moved into an apartment where his walks take in the local wildlife reserve which hosts a wide variety of birdlife, and a body of water aptly named "Nina's Pond".

"See, you can't escape me!" 😆 That's a sign if ever there was one.

Despite the difficulty surrounding our moving on, our friendship becomes invaluable and I hunger for his messages and calls.

My young adults observe this dilemma of the heart. Over an evening of Teriyaki Beef, several rounds of Catan and much lively discussion on Marxism vs Postmodernism, they see how flat I become after a message from him and comment;

"Mum, surely you are not still talking to him?"

They see he is not good for me and are clearly disappointed that I am allowing myself to be the recipient of so very little. Instinctively I agree. My logical brain begs for me to let him go so I can move on. I tell him so again but he doesn't go and so I can't either.

I plan some small trips away to distract myself but he is everywhere. His name appears on the covers of book spines, street signs, whiskey labels and even a pub. As Rumi says "no eye sees so clear and sharp as the eye of love. The lover who is nowhere to be found, you start to see everywhere."

I resolve to tell him how I feel so that we may bring things to a head.

"You know I still have feelings for you?" To which he replies "I know."

Yet, he doesn't back away or leave me be. Instead, over the next few months, our conversations deepen, and our friendship grows more profound. We talk about moving forward but neither of us seems to be able to let go. So we continue.

Back in my immediate world, my children shockingly decide to break communication with me. Without explanation, all three decide to block me out.

I try to reach out, to no avail. Then one morning, a letter arrives. An accusatory exposé revealing such intense blame and anger, that I am immediately frightened for my life. Alarm ravages my body as memories surface about murderous threats, the spilling of my blood and a police-issued apprehended violence order to protect my life.

Knowing they still have keys to my apartment, I bar my door with an ironing board. That way at least it will make a racket if they try to enter during the night. I am completely unnerved and sleep very little.

Line after line of the letters hateful venom spirals through my head as I commute to work the next morning. Around the Pacific Highway at Lindfield, my thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the sudden appearance of a Silky Terrier prancing across the road in front of me. I manage to stop in time, but looking pleased with himself for escaping, he carries on, only to step off the median strip into an oncoming truck. I shut my eyes but with my hands on the wheel, I cannot avoid hearing the thud. A scream escapes me as my body recalls the trauma of my brother's death in a similar way. I am now completely shaken and cry for the two-hour journey to Newcastle. Somehow, I manage to pull myself together just in time for class. Carry on. That's what I do.

On the drive home I revisit my thoughts around the letter and my children's decision to shut me out. At first, I fear the judgement that I imagine will come. How could a child forsake their parent if not for the fault of the parent? So, I keep the emergence of this behaviour and subsequent letter to myself. Indeed, a short while later, another equally horrid letter follows and I finally feel the need to unburden myself. Even I have limits as to what I may endure alone.

I tentatively reveal all to him in our phone conversation. If I can't truly be honest and vulnerable with one of my closest friends, what point is there in the relationship? I needn't have feared as he resolves to steer me through the coming weeks with gentle consideration, knowing that Mother's Day, my Birthday and Christmas would all be horribly difficult for me to endure.

_________💙__________

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." Rumi

This final abandonment is the absolute coup de grâce. I decide that the behaviour of those closest to me is out of my control and what I can do is focus on myself. Why has my life been filled with such desertion, abandonment, when I all I have ever wanted is to be loved? I have broken down as far as I can go. It is time to build myself back up. With righteous determination, I quit my job, shut down my business, rent out my apartment and book a ticket to London.

I wonder what he'll think about my coming over?

The story continues...here.

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 10 - The Leaving

2022-10-21T21:03:00.004+11:00

He sits childlike on the floor of his room besieged by suitcases and a seven-month hoard of clothes, souvenirs and mementoes. He looks up at me helpless and confused and utters, "please can you help me?"

I calmly sort things out for him. We take out his hiking boots and some clothing that I will give to charity. I tell him that it was okay not to take his hard copy of The Luminaries I'd bought him for Christmas in preparation for our New Zealand trip. I hand him an old iPad with the digital version already loaded along with all the music we had listened to during our time together.

"You can give it to your mum to use when you get back," I know she'll love it, now that she finds books too heavy and awkward to hold.

He takes a deep breath, and relief comes over him. He appreciates me coming to the rescue, as I have done so often. Fixing it so he could stream his football games live on TV from the UK, reprogramming the universal remote so we could watch The Hobbit on DVD and relive our days wandering the Matamata village.

Then I tentatively hand him the card I'd written. He takes it and cradles it in his hands, then looks up at me with weepy eyes.

"I can't read this right now."

He knows what's inside. How I love him and how I will always have a space for him in my heart. He tucks it safely into his suitcase. Who knows if he will ever read it?

On the way to the airport, in a final appeal to his sensibilities, I boldly and confidently tell him that I think he is making a big mistake.

"That may well be so, but I need to do this."

After checking in and paying the additional cash for all of those mementoes, we amble over to the entrance of International Departures. This is it. My previously stoic resolve suddenly dissolves into sheer panic. I begin to shake. My breath quickens. This is really happening.

He hurriedly puts on his face mask and adjusts it over his mouth. A barrier to any unwanted interaction.

I cup his face with my hand and run my thumb affectionately across his cheek. As I slide my hand softly away, I look longingly into his eyes, willing him to say something meaningful, something poignant. Wanting him to give me some shred of understanding about how he feels and why he is leaving. He offers...

"Smile because it happened, Nina".

Finally, I release him. He disappears from my sight and once again from my life.

I return to an eerily empty apartment, sit on the floor and sob.

When I gather myself together enough to stand, I walk into his room, open the cupboard door and let a wave of his smell wash over me. I pick up the jeans he has left behind and hold them to my face. I take a deep breath and inhale him in.

A feeling of loss overwhelms me and I weep uncontrollably. It's as if my heart has been detached from the very veins that keep it beating. My insides scooped loose of their contents. Raw. Empty. Alone.

Then, a message pings through. My heart lurches from my chest.

"I hope you're okay. My "smile because it happened strategy didn't quite work out!"

NO!!! Sweet torment! Eternal hope. Please release me.

He does not.

Monday..."All okay with you Nina?"

Wednesday..."All okay with you Nina?" followed by a phone call.

Friday..." Had a good day?" followed by another conversation.

I never answer the okay question because I don't want to lie and I really don't believe he wants to hear the truth but encouraged by his concern and attention, I message back and gladly accept his calls.

I suffer every day he is not physically in my life.

Sleep barely finds me. When morning finally arrives, I long to hear "Niiiinnnnaaa" called from the other room, but of course, there is only silence.

I drag myself out on our walk each day because I know that eventually, after enough days, they will become my walks, not "ours". I trudge down each of the one hundred and forty seven steps and across the walkway where he used to give me a playful shove. I gasp, put my hand to my heart and look up to the sky, take a deep breath then carry on. I can do this.

Food no longer appeals, and my weight falls away. My autoimmune disease flares up, my body's response to my suffering. My once-beaming smile is now a strained tight-lipped grin. The sparkle in my eye has been replaced by a dull glow.

Finally, the pain is too much. I muster enough courage to tell him that I'm going away from socials for a week. Each day without contact is an arduous challenge but after each day I know that I am one step closer to the seventh day when I am supposed to miss him less and feel ready to move on.

I refrain from messaging him, making it to the full week as promised to myself. Then, there he is on the eighth day.

" Just checking in to see how your week went?"

He is back. We are back.

The story continues...here.

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 9 - Tell Me What Your Heart Wants...

2022-10-16T08:23:00.007+11:00

       Tell me what you're feeling
      I can take the pain
      Tell me what your heart wants
      such a simple thing...

Ray LaMontagne's impassioned vocals stir in my earbuds whilst I busy myself with breakfast preparations. He appears from his morning ablutions energetically gesticulating through his daily Trump diatribe. No mention of my announcement.

Anger is not usually an emotion that I entertain but this agitated me. To respond with numbing silence after my heartfelt revelation then carry on as if nothing had happened, unlocked a formally dormant fervour within me.

Fuelled with seething indignation and a readiness to move on, I reinstate my dating app and within a couple of days connect with a potential suitor.

We meet at a cafe in Killarney Heights, considerately selected halfway between our two locations. I take note that as well as being thoughtful, he is more handsome than his image on Bumble represents. My interest is piqued.

As part of my job as a Portrait Photographer, I've become adept at disarming people very quickly so it wasn't long before we are in an in-depth conversation, about his past life and loves.

He nervously confesses that he has hardly slept. He felt attracted to me and was restless and excited about our meeting. I replied that I wasn't nervous at all as it was just coffee.

"Surely, you have to acknowledge that whilst friendship is one thing, this process is essentially about the possibility of a relationship including companionship and sex".

I try to hold back my tears but they spill uncontrollably down my cheeks forming little dark blue puddles on my denim skirt. This man had unnerved me. Of course, a loving relationship was what I sought. I had been promised this very love and companionship by a man that I trusted. The man before me is a stranger, how could I possibly do this. Sadly I acknowledge to myself that I am definitely not ready to trust again.

We part politely with him leaving it to me to get in touch. Of course, I won't.

By the time I return to my apartment, I have pulled myself together enough so that when questioned on my whereabouts, I am able to reply confidently, "on a date". More silence. What will it take to get a response from this man?

We continue along as normal. Our normal.

Having been cut off to visitors during lockdowns, our country towns had suffered economically so we thought it fitting to do a country town circuit and sprinkle around some much-needed custom as we went.

We pass through towns with curious names like Cumnock, Willy Wally, and Goonoo Goonoo which keep him thoroughly entertained, whilst my mispronunciation of Coonabarabran, provides us both with much laughter.

As we go through the motions of our trip, on the surface it appears seemingly reminiscent of our New Zealand days. Though on deeper inspection, it is not at all. Something has shifted for him. He has booked two beds instead of one and has started wearing underpants. His flirtatiousness has turned into amiability. His jovial banter has lost way to contemplation. He is beginning to think about his future and moving on.

Since we met, he has been going through the motions of separating and legally divorcing his wife and now things are coming to a conclusion. Documents will need to be signed and sealed. A clean break order instigated, and joint bank accounts severed. For these things to happen, he needs to return to England.

The subject that had been sidestepped for so long could no longer be avoided. I knew that my upcoming birthday was a way marker for him. The destination he wanted to see me to before making his final departure.

My birthday had been little acknowledged in the past. In fact, I didn't look forward to them at all as they were usually a source of hurt and disappointment. For my ex-husband, mid-July seemed to be a good time to conjure an excuse to travel for work. He'd appear late in the evening, throw a small gift at me, something he'd hastily purchased at the airport no doubt, launch himself into bed beside me and exclaim that he was now ready for my birthday sex.

Until now, my grown children had not acknowledged the day at all. No greeting. No gift. No handmade card. Not a word. They seemed to revel in the control they held, the hurt they knew they were causing.

The day arrived. Following our usual morning exchange, "Niiiiinnnnaaaa" and hug, I was guided to the sofa and asked to wait patiently as he went out to greet our mutual friend and florist who had arrived with an enormous arrangement of natives that he had organised to be delivered. Then one by one, he bestowed one thoughtfully selected gift after another. Not too personal I noted, for fear of sending the wrong message.

We spent the afternoon viewing the beautiful and expansive collection of work in the Biennale of Sydney titled NIRIN at the Museum of Contemporary Art followed by high tea at The Langham Hotel and a walk around Circular Quay.

For me, it was a dream day. How I had longed to have my birthday recognised in such a way. For him, it was a milestone satisfactorily achieved. With this event checked off the list, it was now time to acknowledge the source of discomfort in the pit of both of our stomachs. The subject we had both skillfully avoided for six months. His leaving.

His departure would mean the loss of my companion and friend. For him, it was trepidation about the pain he knew he was about to cause.

Alas, a date was set. He was to leave in a few weeks. Oh, take care my heart.

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 8 - Australia It Is!

2022-10-10T22:06:00.011+11:00

Australia it is then.

Of all the alternatives, including returning home to England, or staying with other friends in Sydney, he chose to live with me. Of all the people in the world with whom he could have spent lockdown and isolation, he chose me.

Every morning begins with a cheery holler from his bedroom,

"Niiiinnnnnaaaa!"

I return the call with his name.

We greet each other with a hug followed by our choice of hot caffeinated beverage, tea for him, espresso for me followed by our daily walk through bushland at the local National Park. Each day we vary it slightly but always beginning with the one hundred and forty-seven steps down the hill and across the footbridge to the park entrance where, as consistently as the sun rises, he gives me a playful shove and then catches me.

"One of these days you'll miss me. Then you'll be in trouble." I smile to myself, secretly taking pleasure in the affectionate interaction and hoping he'll note the double entendre.

As we walk, the sun filters through the Casuarina illuminating a runway of neon green fern. We brush past their dewy fronds as we climb the sandy paths toward the Blue Hole or the switchback, our destination largely energy-dependent. We delight in watching a Swamp Wallaby graze on some shrubbery before it notices us and hops away. Alongside the river, a Water Dragon scurries whilst Cockatoo agilely swoop and squawk through the Stringbark keeping an eye on us as we pass by.

The bush not only provides new wonders at which we marvel, its natural expansiveness and scattering of human life make it perfect for our lengthy conversations. It is on these walks we get to know each other on an even deeper level than before.

His childlike sense of wonder and keen interest in birdlife become contagious. As he is eager to explore his creative side with photography, we combine the two interests giving us a common activity over which we bond. Now our daily expeditions include photographing birds, first from my terrace then when restrictions are lifted, venturing out to the wetlands, each armed with a camera and eagerness to identify our latest discoveries.

After a few weeks, we fall easily and comfortably into our couple roles. Due to our difference in approach to grocery shopping, mine being a little more haphazard than he could cope with, we decide that it is easier for me to assume the hunter-gatherer role. Meanwhile, he prefers to subject our laundry to his meticulous attention to detail, hanging it precisely, each pair of socks matched and hanging neatly in a row. He sweeps the terrace, takes out the garbage and stacks the dishwasher with equal precision. Meanwhile, I prepare our meals, which he heralds contentedly to family and friends as being sublimely delicious!

He is just as fastidious about the time in which we take our meals. Breakfast after our walk, always porridge with honey. Tea and a slice of cake at 10 am, lunch never before 1 pm and dinner at 7. After our evening meal, we snuggle into our designated places on the sofa. He at one end, me the other. The cushion in between being the unofficial warden against accidental intimacy. We watch sporting documentaries like Sunderland and The Test: A New Era for Australia's Team. The brilliant Tom Petty documentary, Runnin' Down a Dream has us on a run on the music theme for a while. At the suggestion of his daughter, we spiral down the quality of TV offerings and find ourselves devouring Manifest. Compelling at first, it quickly loses our interest but does provide lively banter for our morning walks.

When my children visit, particularly my eldest son, he assumes the father-figure role, initiating a card game or a round of backgammon. Whilst he is quite the competitor, he doesn't mind it when my son beats him. In fact, he places a little wager on the game to encourage my son to win so that he will continue to have a willing opponent.

Sometimes they walk up to the local football field and kick a ball around. The new challenge being who can keep the ball in the air the longest.

With his sweet tooth as his motivator, this friendly competition moves to the kitchen and the Official Lemon Drizzle Bake-off begins.

I can't tell you who wins these challenges, only that a contented warmness comes over me as I watch them together and I don't want that to ever end. He has become the mentor my son never had.

Whilst we adore our National Park walks, both being natural explorers, we are relieved to be released from the restrictions that have held us so tightly, that we may venture further afield. We make day trips to most of the Northern Beaches, exploring Manly right up to Palm Beach. One morning, I take him to Turimetta where we witness deep pinks and reds filling the sky right before that magical moment when the sun hits the horizon. His first-ever sunrise.

Our explorative boundaries now being extended, we venture over to The Blue Mountains. The weather has cooled significantly but an open fire and hot drink make it all the more cosy. We look to the sky on our way home from dinner to see the universe in all of its mighty glory. It reminds me of his delight at seeing the milky way for the first time in New Zealand. I cherish that I am the one who has shared these "firsts" with him. They will forever remain etched in his past and nothing can take that away.

We still travel well together and he continues to make me laugh every day. It works so well that we plan three more trips to take place over the coming weeks. Firstly, a 1400 km tour west to Orange and beyond, to Bombo and Berry on the South Coast and an ambitious plan to visit Alice Springs and Uluru after that.

As pre-lockdown life begins to return, I take on photographic work and go back to teaching the Diploma at TAFE. After a twelve-hour day, I return home to a glass and bottle of wine set on the counter with a note beside it, "Long Day?! 😊". His thoughtful gesture brings a lump to my throat. I have craved this type of consideration all my life.

We have now been living and travelling together for around six months, and my affection for him has grown ever deeper. It is no longer a lustful desire but a want for lifelong companionship. I've fallen completely and utterly in love.

One morning as we enter the National Park on our usual walk, I decide to tell him.

"So......I'm in love with you."

There it is. My heart beats faster as I wait for his answer.

A long silence follows....then nothing.

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 7 - Our Adventure Begins

2022-09-30T20:05:00.008+10:00

NO, NO, NO!!! How can this be happening? How can I be rejected with such casual abandon? For the very first time in my entire life, I have allowed myself to be open and vulnerable, and now I have been shunned.

At breakfast, I ask him what is going on for him and all he offers me is...

"I didn't think you'd come away with me otherwise."

Right here. Right now. This is my chance to change the trajectory of my life. Should I ask him to leave and head off to New Zealand alone or should I carry on with the trip together in the hope that things will change?

I decide to cling to the belief that this is only a fleeting setback. A momentary panic. I just don't want to let go. I refuse to believe that after over a year of messaging and calls and what I thought was our deep connection, our beautiful friendship, this could be it.

We have our little love escape coming up. Maybe things will change for him.

I should have paid heed to the weather as a prediction of how things were to evolve. Devastatingly charred and layered in ash from the recent catastrophic bushfires, Huskisson is not quite the picturesque haven of white sandy beaches and crystal translucent ocean we had in mind. We could hardly complain about the thunderous storms, thick humidity, wild winds and drenching rain either. The poor town so badly needed a good soaking.

Bustling with family holidaymakers and horse race betting regulars, The Husky Hotel does little toward providing the romantic ambience that may have altered the mood of the place either.

With little else to do, we return to our love shack and revisit sex. He suggests oral stimulation may somehow make things different for him. Beginning gently, stroking and caressing him, I slowly increase the intensity and speed, bringing him to a climax. Fully aroused by the foreplay and fuelled with the notion that this would be the beginning of things for us, I guide his hand to my breast to relieve my begging nipples. A yearning in my core prompts me to slide his hand down where his nimble fingers can work their magic. Oh my! Surely he is satisfied now, I certainly am.

My contentment quickly dissipates as he appears uneasy and confused. Something seems to niggle at him. He confesses that he has only ever slept with two other women in his life, both of which he married. He equates sex with marriage and with two failed marriages, is it any wonder he struggles with intimacy?

With ever an empathetic heart, I relate to his suffering. It all makes sense and my heart is revived. I'm not like either of his previous wives. Upon his reckoning, both are narcissistic and plagued with mental health issues. All I want is to love him wholly with all of his quirks and inadequacies. Surely over our two-month New Zealand adventure, he will come to see my open and loving heart. There will be plenty of time for us to let the tension settle, ease into each other, and let things grow. We are still the best of friends, surely there is a chance for romance to evolve.

"Fancy a trip to New Zealand?" he greets me on the very morning of our adventure.

This is it. Our epic journey is about to begin.

Over two months, we are astounded and amazed by the breathtaking scenery of the north and south islands. Punctuated with highlights like flying over Wanaka and into Milford Sound, kayaking around Abel Tasman and helicoptering onto the glacier at Franz Josef, we were in constant wonder.

The romance of it all isn't lost on me. As he circles my waist with his arm and draws me in tight toward him for the obligatory photo in front of an ice cave, I return the embrace with vigour but quickly deflate upon the realisation that today is Valentine's Day and I am in a magical place with a man that doesn't want me.

As travellers, we make a cohesive couple. I make us breakfast. Then whilst he maps and plans our day or packs the car (he has a system that I daren't impede upon), I prepare our poké rice bowl or teriyaki chicken salad for lunch. We spend the day exploring or travelling to the next town. I photograph and diarise the trip whilst he does all of the driving. (Actually, I think he is traumatised by my driving and rather than relinquish the wheel, persists for 8,022 km despite the chronic ache in his shoulder). Each evening, we relax in town with a pint and a wine followed by a meal at a quaint pub or restaurant.

Throughout our journey, my cheery disposition is easily maintained by his high school boy banter and recycling of advertising jingles from his youth. He makes me laugh every single day.

To everyone around us, we appear a happy couple. More than once we have been mistaken as being married. Returning to collect me during a pedicure in Nelson, the technician asks,

"Oh, lady, is that your husband?"

"I wish!"

Then there are the evenings. Queen bed after queen bed, sleeping naked next to him, aching for him but not being able to touch him, I keep to my side of the bed. Night after night, I respect his wishes but longed for that one night, after a few drinks, where we would casually fall into each other's embrace and fully enjoy an evening of pleasure, even if it was just that. Fifty-two tension-filled nights.

Nearing the end of our adventure, a foreboding overwhelms me. Despite his rejection, I don't want this to end. Sadly though, it is hastened along all too quickly with the news that the covid pandemic is beginning to reach us. Lost in our remote daily excursions, we had been quite removed from it all.

Just as we reach Auckland, we are greeted with messages from friends that Australia would be closing their borders to non-citizens from 6pm the very next day. There is a decision to be made. Will he fly back to London or come back to Australia with me? I wait patiently for his answer.

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 6 - The Sydney Arrival

2022-09-23T15:03:00.006+10:00

As diffused morning rays filter through my bedroom window, I stretch luxuriously, prise my eyes open and swipe my phone awake. I smile contentedly as I am greeted with a cheery,

"Good morning, Nina. Sleep well?

He will arrive today.

I caress the space beside me. The time zone difference has been excruciating. It will be a relief to have him here waking up by my side. Sleep has evaded me often over the past seven months. I was restless thinking about what he was up to and only truly relaxed when I knew he was asleep. I caught myself glancing at my watch, calculating the time difference, pondering his whereabouts. Right now, he should be on the train into London to meet his daughter for breakfast at Dishoom or, this afternoon he'll be with his brothers bellowing expletives at a Charlton game. It's a tribal thing.

The author of my anxiety was the disbelief that this love at first sight fairytale was actually playing out. This fantastical adventure was indeed happening to me. Would I finally realise the love I had so desired but that had somehow eluded me? Will my charming Englishman help me realise the deep connection for which I had so longed?

I desperately want everything to be perfect. By now, I have moved into a spacious, modern apartment nestled in a quiet corner of a North Shore Sydney suburb. The double terrace doors provide a window into the glorious Australian bushland where the sun rises through the eucalypts to a cacophony of birdlife. It will make the perfect love nest.

I have taken a term off teaching, shut down my photo studio and notified my clients that I am taking a few months off. I am so confident in the success of our relationship that I discreetly apply for British citizenship. It gives me options.

After months of anticipation, today is the day.

I dress in a carefully selected summery outfit, white shorts and a sky-coloured halter top that nicely set off my blue eyes. Feeling like a human-sized ball of twisted tension poised to unravel, I'm not quite sure how I drove to the airport.

Waiting. Waiting.

Is that him? No. Will I remember what he looks like? Of course! How could I forget his tall sleek body, his gently receding hair, his knowing eyes, and his soft smile?

And there he is...

My heart just about stopped. A bolt of realisation shot right through me. I gasp. Beaming a smile as large as I could manage, I race to him and embrace his beautiful self with all the strength and love I have in me.

He is actually here.

He returns the hug. Nervously. Excitedly. It's happening. It is actually happening.

Back at my apartment, I am nervous but allow him to be my guide. He jumps into the shower and leaves the door open so I get my first glimpse of his nakedness. I unrobe in the bathroom across from him and tentatively wash. I know he is watching me.

We make our way into the bedroom. As our naked skin touches for the first time, electricity runs through me. Heat builds as intense arousal begins to take over my body. Kissing and touching as I'd imagined it all this time.

Then, our lovemaking becomes urgent and chaotic. We tussle about, this way and that. He begins to get a frustrated look on his face. He goes limp. It's not happening for him.

Suddenly he stops.

We slump into the pillows. He holds my hand. His face perplexed. "Nina, can we just be friends?"

Of all the scenarios that played out in my head, this was not one of them. Not the first night. Not like this. What should I do now?

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 5 - The Long-Distance Love Affair continues…

2022-09-14T18:53:00.009+10:00

Things escalate quickly now. His attentions accelerate and I embrace them with every cell in my body. The bubble and tingle are back. The brightness of my smile. The breeziness in my mood and the slight bounce in my step. The little flutter in my chest responds to the ping of his messages. "All OK with you, Nina?"

After a few weeks of messaging, the innocent innuendo begins.

"Nina, what are you up to this evening?"

"I'm soaking in the bath with a glass of wine."

"Do you need someone to wash your back?!"

"That would be divine!"

"Sigh."

"And your front?!"

"Sassy!"

"Of course!"

"Pour another glass then and I'll be over!"

He gets the balance right too. The exact amount of concern and empathy sprinkled with the occasional reference to our coupling. We are now excitedly planning an adventure for the two of us. He will arrive in January (2020), stay with me and we will travel for two months to New Zealand. He suggests commencing our epic adventure with a romantic destination and "too much sex!" I have now set his personalised ringtone to "Lovers" by Taylor Swift.

Very quickly the innuendo gives rise to blatant sexting and along with it, my insatiable desire to.........

By now I've enlisted the help of a pleasure assistant from Honey Birdette to relieve some of the built-up tension. The advertised description suggests the device will provide "toe-curling bliss". That should do the trick. Besides that, it's waterproof so should work whilst we do our bath thing. We nickname him Big John.

For his birthday, I make some tasteful, slightly suggestive photographs of my naked self, draped in an elegant negligee. Scalloped lace curves around my breast as the sheer overlay reveals gently erect nipples. In one, I am in white and in another a more suggestive black. I send him the white first, and then he asks me to send him the second so he may start his birthday with a well-deserved orgasm.

I've never done anything like this before and so I am extremely nervous about sending them. I have been careful to present the best version of myself, though. I have some scaring and sagginess, a residual from childbirth, that I am careful to hide.

Our communications increase to daily calls and messages. His updates with photos provide a welcome distraction from my house sale preparations, photography work and hunt for a place to live. Together we are reading Shantaram and watching The Capture, discussing our thoughts when we chat.

He seeks my guidance and opinion on things from Ayahuasca to my preference between Sauvage by Dior versus Bleu by Chanel. Away on a spiritual retreat, he messages to tell me that during his experience, he sees my face and I am smiling at him. My heart swells.

Slowly, it is becoming much more than just a giddy excitement between the two of us. He draws me into his life with conversations around family and friends that I am beginning to feel very much a part of. He listens as I go through the drama around bidding and losing at auctions and the countless apartment inspections. We are there for each other. He comments on how strange it is that only one day passes yet we have so much to discuss. Could we be falling for each other?

Meanwhile, my anxiety and impatience escalate. This is September. How the hell will I make it to January? I'm anxious to know that he feels the same way so I ask him. He responds "I'm looking forward to things with you. I wouldn't be coming otherwise". Well, that clears things up.

Finally, his Visa has been approved, his flight is booked and I am beside myself with excitement. He packs up his apartment, releases the lease on his Audi and moves in with his mum until that January date comes along when he will fly to Australia and our adventure will begin.

The anticipation is almost unbearable. How will things go when we finally see each other again? Not long now. We'll see...

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here..

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 4 - The Long Distance Love Affair

2022-09-03T19:05:00.010+10:00

My departure from London was more than just saying goodbye to a friend. It was about abandoning the romantic notion that I'd finally met the man who had inflamed my heart. Leaving behind the idea that I could be in love and be loved in return and, surrendering the belief that finally, good things were going to happen for me.

Assimilating back into my routine, feeling a little dejected but content to be moving on, I was surprised when after only a few days, he messaged me.

"How are things back in Sydney?"

Within a week he is signing off with xx and how he is looking forward to catching up again. His tone is chatty and playful. Full of compliments. He is attentive and thoughtful, remembering to ask about things he knew I had coming up. Boosting me up, "You're inspirational". "I think you undersell yourself! I sense that you're much more capable than most of us."

We are both at very pertinent junctures in our lives. My ex has finally agreed to a financial settlement after a 5-year battle. There was the buzz and busyness surrounding the recent engagement of my eldest son, all the while I am grading finals and knee-deep in packing up 25 years of marriage and preparing our family home for sale.

For him, there is the transition into acceptance of his new life as a single man, the slow release of the pangs of the past and embracement of the future ahead. We find ourselves comforting each other with gentle nudging guidance. We are the exact right people for each other.

"Nina, you are the one person who gets it."

As trust and comfort build, the tone changes again. Around June he talks about how he is "finally letting go of the past and truly (and fully) embracing the future." He begins reminiscing about my time with him in London. "We did do some great things when you were here!". Wait. Do I sense sentimentality? Could this be going where I think it's going?

Now we are messaging every few days. Finally, he suggests we actually chat over Whatsapp. I am so anxious that I find it difficult to listen or speak. My words spill quickly over his own. He ends the call with a casual mention that he hadn't on any clothes!

"It's good to talk Nina 😊"

"It really is. 😊..and another first for us! 😳

"Haha 😂 yes - what's the next first??!!

This obvious trajectory is exhilarating. This is what I had wanted from the moment we met. Yet, there is an underlying warying sense of disbelief. It had all gone wrong before.

Be still uneasiness. This could be your one chance at real and true love. Every ounce of my body says it's so. I decide to let down my barriers and have the emotions ravage me. I am going to be vulnerable for the first time in my life. Bring it on.

By July there is a suggestion of a return visit to Sydney."

"Get your naked butt over here!"

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here....

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - Finding Nina Adventure

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - My Curious Camera

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - My Curious Camera

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - Nina Beilby Photography

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 3 - The London Reunion

2022-08-30T18:34:00.008+10:00

It is March now and we are messaging every few days. Subjects range from making our London plans to Epictetus and the futility of trying to control outcomes. We discuss having faith that the universe is benevolent and that if we relax, good things will happen. I have stopped cursing it by now. Several times he mentioned recreating our evening of in-depth conversation and too much Drambuie.

Our plans now include history walks, the symphony, dinner and theatre. My excitement is beginning to accelerate. I visualise our reunion. A wine bar and an evening stroll. Re-creating that kiss and then there was that deep longing for more. I constantly have to restore myself from reverie. Remembering his soft hands and gentle touch. His...Enough! I need to pack.

I brought the warm weather and sunshine with me to London fuelling my excitement and impatience to realise my romantic fate. He messaged me right away and we made our plans. He checked on me the next day and the next. Finally, the day had arrived. We were going to see each other again.

Would I feel the same when I saw him? Would I be so enchanted or was this just an invention that had evolved within the cloudy recesses of my mind? These thoughts continued as I waited for him outside the Bridge Theatre. Then just like that, he appeared out of the crowd walking toward me and right back into my heart.

The play was magnificent and Maggie Smith, spellbinding. This gave us much to talk about as we sat outside on this mild evening sipping our drinks at Bunch of Grapes after the play.

I was bubbling with anxiety and holding on to his every word, until the very moment he uttered "my wife is back".

Actually, not completely back. Just hanging around, sobbing on his shoulder and sleeping with him. Of course, she was. I kept a friendly concerned demeanour whilst inside my heart sank to my feet. I took a sip of my drink to hide my disappointment. Lowered my eyes so he couldn't see the sadness. I can understand. I see your side, all whilst thinking, you're a complete fool. She knew I was coming over. She doesn't want you but she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. The ultimate narcissist. Bitch.

The evening ended early for us. He asked me to message him when I got home so I did and he messaged back right away, "Really good seeing you again, Nina. x" Give me strength.

His messages are now a little more reserved and I feel a slight shift although still quite friendly. We come alive chatting about the books we are reading, our kids and how we both make our beds each morning. He suggests for our next adventure, meeting in the middle of Tower Bridge. "Perfect," I say. He replies "I think so too."

We wander through London, visiting the more uncommon but interesting sites. We chat flirtatiously over a glass of wine at 10 Cases, a quaint wine bar tucked away in the lanes of Covent Garden followed by dinner at Busuba. All the while, playfully nudging each other as we share a laugh or a joke here and there. Further, into the evening, we stop at one pub and then another in search of our Drambuie. This evening is playing out very much like I'd imagined except for the end, where we kiss and go back to his place. Instead, we hug each other and head back to our respective homes.

We meet one final time at The Barbican to listen to the London Symphony playing, of all things, Ravel's Bolero. Could there be a more erotic composition of music? The soft repetitive drum beat behind the willowy sounds of the flute and oboe above it, slowly swelling to a crescendo, along with it, my arousal.

I sit forward to absorb myself in the music so as to not be distracted by the lustful cravings escalating within me. The music ends with a perfect cadence and so does our evening. This is it now. The last time we are to meet. Farewell, my friend.

It was a bittersweet departing. I was sad that it wasn't the big romantic reunion I had imagined yet I was satisfied that what I had felt, warmth, love and sexual energy, were all real. That was a huge step for me. I can return home knowing that I am capable of love.

As I board the plane, his message comes through.

"Safe travels home...who knows which iconic landmark we'll meet at next!"

Which, indeed...

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here....

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 2 - He Is My Destiny

2022-08-28T16:39:00.015+10:00

He kept on in my thoughts. I wished him well on notable occasions, Christmas and New Year. He shared photos from Amsterdam and reported on his visit to the Klimt/Schiele exhibition that he saw before Christmas. I sent him the articles I'd written about my Cambodian trip. We each share about our respective visits to the theatre, and he expressed his excitement and anxiety about moving into a new apartment, his Brave New World.

By February, I was still unable to get him out of my mind. I tried dating as a distraction. eHarmony, speed dating, Bumble, even Tinder! No sparks, not even a fizzle. I went out with one guy that seemed OK, but he wasn't happy when I commented how he seemed to be dating quite soon after his wife had died. It wasn't a judgement: I was interested. Needless to say, I didn't hear from him again. Self-sabotage? Maybe.

I tried to absorb myself in my work and daily life. I took up teaching the Photography Diploma at TAFE in addition to running my corporate headshot photography studio and occasionally shooting the swimming out at the Olympic Park. In addition, I volunteered for the Humor Organisation photographing The Clown Doctors in action at Westmead Children's Hospital.

If my work didn't keep me busy enough, I had four young adults living with me who required my physical and emotional attention. Whilst they did make some meals, I enjoyed cooking their main meal each day after work. Parenting alone was a huge challenge and meals felt like the one way I could still connect with them.

Whilst the whirlwind of my daily life was going on, I was still in the midst of divorce proceedings. This took a huge emotional toll as well as a physical and financial one. So, remaining physically and socially active was extremely important to me. Staying connected with friends was a huge support, and so I kept up my walks and occasional evenings out to the theatre, ballet or drinks whenever I could.

One such evening I was sipping a martini on a plush sofa in the elegant Swinging Cat bar with a group of friends. The conversation turned to me, and my love life. I mentioned the encounter I'd had and how, as much as I had tried, I couldn't stop thinking about him. How perfectly compatible we seemed and that there was a prodding instinct that we were meant to be together but that sadly he was in London.

One lady replied "What are you waiting for? Buy a ticket to London!"

And so I did...

The story continues here...

Read from the beginning here....

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - Finding Nina Adventure

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - My Curious Camera

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - My Curious Camera

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - Nina Beilby Photography

My professional work as a portrait photographer

The Love Story Part 1 - A Chance Meeting.

2022-08-27T16:07:00.023+10:00

We met through friends and the attraction was instant. A tingling sensation aroused from its sleeping hibernation. A burgeoning sexual energy combined with a sense of knowing that together we would be compatible in every sense. He would quieten my uneasiness and I would feel safe. I would be the spark to his humdrum, the wisdom to his healing.

He was recently separated, and I was a few years down the track after my own split and divorce. A horrific affair that ended up with lawyers and court hearings for over 5 years. It was an abusive marriage that lasted over twenty years and I was happy to be out of it. I had become a person that I no longer liked.

Through it, my self-esteem around relationships had taken a battering. I had been on a few dates and quite frankly, was exhausted by the entire process. So you can imagine the exhilaration when this lovely man reciprocated my attention. He was safe too because he was an old classmate of my girlfriend's husband. I didn't have to do a deep Google search or reverse photo check as I would normally before going out with someone

Our 12-hour date was magical, ambling around beautiful Sydney on a mild November afternoon. Wandering through art galleries and museums, followed by drinks at The Opera Bar and a play at the Drama Theatre. The play was shocking but it provided fuel for conversation over our shots of Drambuie until the wee hours. Around 2am, he walked me home, took me in his arms and we kissed with a promise to meet again.

Sadly, as the universe would have it, I had to fly off to Thailand the next day. My daughter and I were volunteering at a school on the Thai/Cambodian border. What Karma is this? What had I done to piss the universe off? I'm helping the poorest children for nothing in return. Is this not enough to warrant that I may be with the man that I know with every cell in my body is meant to be with me? I know the universe doesn't owe me anything, but this is just not fair. I cursed the universe for the rest of the trip much to my daughter's dismay. She tried to calm and reassure me, "Mum, you will be together. I know it".

About to board our plane from Bangkok, I decided to message him, hoping from the pit of my stomach that he may have extended his trip and stayed in Australia so that we may meet again. Alas, he returned my message with a waving emoji saying that our planes would literally be passing in the sky as we each made our way to our respective homes. Me, Sydney, and him, London.

The story continues here...

THE AUTHOR

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - FINDING NINA ADVENTURE

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - MY CURIOUS CAMERA

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - NINA BEILBY PHOTOGRAPHY

My professional work as a portrait photographer

Finding Nina Adventure - Packing up my Australian Life

2022-08-18T06:07:00.002+10:00

The daily reminders of a crumbled love affair and the heartache surrounding my now disconnected family compelled me to make a bold decision. With audacious courage, I quit my teaching job, packed away my photography business, put all of my personal belongings into storage, hired an agent, rented out my apartment, and bought a plane ticket to London.

How did I find myself in this complete and utterly dejected situation? That is an entire story unto itself. I’ll brave that one soon, so stay tuned. Meanwhile, I'm heading to London without a definite plan. I’m just going to see what comes up and where the universe takes me.

I'll go back to my roots, the place I was conceived and where I have much history. Maybe I’ll start there. Let’s find out.

Find out how I got to this point here.

THE AUTHOR
That's me. Initially, I thought to describe myself by my profession, I'm a Professional Photographer. Yet, I am much more than my work. I am an insightful, intelligent, adventurous woman on a life journey of discovery about myself and the universe. Every day is an adventure and if you are happy to follow along, I am happy for you to join me.

Where you can find my work...

I will be documenting my travels through photography on Facebook and Instagram. Prints will also be available on my website. If you are interested in following along, here are some of my sites.

Facebook Group - Finding Nina Adventure

Sharing daily adventures from my travels including discoveries about myself and the people around me

Blog - My Curious Camera

An in-depth look at places I've visited with plenty of travel information from Ireland, France, UK, Iceland and who knows where next.

Website - My Curious Camera

Where you can purchase signed, framed limited edition prints of my work.

Website - Nina Beilby Photography

My professional work as a portrait photographer

It had to happen - I finally have covid

2022-07-12T06:12:00.001+10:00

It's frustrating more than anything. I'm not actually sick yet confined to the four walls of my bedroom for fear of spreading this nasty little virus to people who are much more susceptible to becoming very ill with it.

I realise that many people do not have this level of fortitude. There are definitely people out there milling about fully aware they are carrying the virus and probably the reason I caught this darn thing after 3 years of staying clear of it. Still, I'll sit here until I show a negative result on my lateral flow test as much as I really would love to be enjoying the amazing weather we are having this week in London.

Stay well and have a great week.

Nina 😊

My work if you're interested:

My Curious Camera

Nina Beilby Photography

London On The Move

2019-06-27T17:51:00.004+10:00

London Eye from Westminster Bridge as a Red tourist bus passes

On a recent visit, I found London to be a bustling hive of activity. Everyone was one the move. Tourists, shoppers, out of town visitors, theatre goers and locals alike.

In addition to all of this busy scurrying, add thousands of passionate climate change protesters and supporters who blocked major thoroughfares and brought out regiments of regular and anti riot police squads. If that wasn't enough activity, one of the world's largest sporting events, The London Marathon brought tens of thousands out onto the streets that very same week.

Climate Change Protesters at Parliament Square

National Portrait Gallery

To give a feel for this bustling city, I decided to photograph London on the move by using movement in my images. I did this numerous ways, all with just my camera, no Photoshop. Sometimes I used, long exposures, sometimes rotated the lens, used multiple exposures and even moved the actual camera. It took some practice, especially the Tower Bridge and the geometric image from The Tate, but it was worth it. I was very happy with the images.

Archway, hall and light in The Tate

Hallway in The Tate

Photograph gallery in The Tate

Geometric hallway at The Tate

The slightly washed out look of these Tower Bridge images were inspired by some JMW Turner paintings that I saw whilst I was in the Tate Gallery. I added the moving part.

Tower Bridge

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator with a background in Corporate IT.

She is based in Chatswood, Sydney Australia. You can see her work at the following:

Website
Facebook
LinkedIn
Twitter

The Saddest Part Was Watching These Kids

2019-02-03T18:47:00.005+11:00

Not All Kids Go To School

The last few posts, we have talked about the amazing work that is being done at The Sangtawan School in Thailand. Education, nourishment and emotional support for a small group of Cambodian children who would otherwise be neglected. Well, these are the neglected ones...

The absolutely saddest part of this visit was to watch these kids who are not at the school, peer through the windows and hover in the doorways hoping that a small amount of teaching will make its way into their thoughts. They stare and wonder that maybe one day, they will be the chosen ones.

I hope they are chosen too.

Where exactly is Sangtawan School?

Sangtawan School is in Khlong Hat District, Sa Kaeo, Thailand. (13°25'50.8"N 102°21'23.7"E) Right near the border of Cambodia and Ban Khao Din Checkpoint.

It took us a total of 4 hours to get here by bus from Bangkok. As it really is the middle of nowhere, we stayed in Sa Kaeo town and bused in to the school each morning which was a 45-55 minute trip including a suspenseful stop at a military checkpoint.

The border checkpoint was only officially made permanent in March of 2018 to encourage trade between the two countries.

Walking the kids to the border

The team waves goodbye to the children as they cross the border

Previous Posts on Thailand
. Part 1 of our visit to the school - HERE
. Part 2 of our school visit. - HERE
. A look at life along the Canals in Bangkok - HERE
. Condoms, Hangover & amp; Happiness - HERE

Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to share with your friends. Back to reality now...

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator based in Chatswood, Sydney, Australia. You can see more of her work at www.ninabeilby.com.au.

Social Media: Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

Thanks for visiting!

Education Is The Key To Ending Poverty

2019-01-27T16:53:00.003+11:00

Lesson Time

Time to get serious. This is the entire reason the school exists. With education, these kids might get jobs away from their desolate lives, away from the doldrums of watching their siblings whilst their parents work in the rice fields, from a possible life of begging or worse. With knowledge of Khmer, English and some Math, these kids are well armed to break the poverty cycle.

There are three full time teachers at Sangtawan School who are wholly committed to engaging these children. The children, in return, are eager to impress.

I witnessed the teachers as encompassing a happy combination of caring and fun but with the appropriate amount of firmness.

Khmer Written Language
I was struck by the beauty of the written Khmer language. It appears lyrical and romantic tinged with a semblance of ancientness. This is from Article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

English Translation
“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”

English Language Room
One of our teams projects for this visit was to create an English Room. A small room apart from the main classrooms where the kids can interact with their daily dose of English.

We were blessed to have two teachers on the visiting team ensuring this would be one of the best English rooms in Thailand.

Playtime

The children are firstly encouraged to wash clean their own lunch boxes and cups. (I wish my kids would do this!)

After chores, the children are indulged with a little time to play around whilst the teachers ready themselves for the next activities.

We watched as they played their local games like jumping over legs adding height with feet and hands after each successful jump. We then taught them some of our own games like Ring-a-Rosy and Frisbee.

Next week
Stay tuned for more about our school visit in next week's post. Meet the team and take a look at life around the school.

Previous Posts on Thailand
If you want to catch up on previous posts, they are here:
. Part 1 of our visit to the school - HERE
. A look at life along the Canals in Bagkok - HERE
. Condoms, Hangover & Happiness - HERE

Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to share with your friends. Back to reality now...

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator based in Chatswood, Sydney, Australia. You can see more of her work at www.ninabeilby.com.au.

Social Media: Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

Thanks for visiting!

Cambodian kids bring tears of joy! - Our visit to a remote school in Thailand

2019-01-20T18:06:00.000+11:00

Steps With Hope

Desperately in need of funds to continue their support of this little school in Thailand, Founder of Steps With Hope, Jen Spoor, hosted a Mother's Day High Tea. After her presentation, I said to Jen, "if you want to make a bigger impact, you need better photos".

So that was that and I committed to visiting the school on their next trip.

Meet The Kids

If you're like us, you will want to meet the kids right away.

There are about 70 children currently attending the school with three classes starting at Kindergarten age. These children come from poor Khmer families, remnants of a recovering population that has endured one of the darkest times times in its history. Around 3 million people slaughtered and many more terrorized by the Khmer Rouge has left a devastated people still clawing its way back to normality.

Families reside in makeshift huts just over the border in Cambodia. The children walk across the Khlong Hat border checkpoint into Thailand each day for their lessons and a hot meal.

The kids were shy and reserved their emotions at first though it didn't take long for them to warm to us and us to them.

Lunch Time

The children are meant to arrive around noon but quite a few kids were already at the school in anticipation of our visit.

After a few messages from their teachers, they are sent one class at a time to receive a hot meal.

With their small containers or bowls, they line up for vegetables, rice and a piece of fruit. Some chose to take the food home to share with their families.

This darling boy has given up his lunch for his little sister who had been hanging around the school. What a sweety.

Craft Time

Between us, our team packed over 80Kgs worth of craft activities, wall decorations, learning material and clothing into our luggage to bring to the children. We also had spent a great deal of time preparing the activities so were keen to share these at the school.

Believe it or not, the photo on the right is extremely special. For two reasons. One, from the first day, this kinder girl appeared extremely sullen. There was a heartbreaking sadness in her eyes. After a couple of days, she warmed to us, thoroughly enjoyed her crafts and by the end of our time, she was smiling from ear to ear.

Second reason this picture is meaningful. This was the toughest craft activity I have ever come across. This was a major achievement for us as well as the kids.

The craft that Caity and I were responsible for were the framed portraits of each child and teachers. The team had primed the frames previously so that the kids could paint them right away. Meanwhile, I took each child's photograph. Remember, we had only just met the kids so this was not an easy task.

The morning after, whilst the team readied for breakfast, Tat (our guide and leader of the school foundation) and I had the photos printed in Sa Kaeo town.

Once the frames had dried, the kids decorated them with diamantes and stickers. They were absolutely thrilled with their frames. They've probably never had a framed picture of themselves in their lives so this was pretty special.

It was difficult not to be moved by these children who despite their circumstances, approach each day with pure joy and revel in happiness.

Stay tuned for more about our school visit in next week's post.

Thanks for stopping by. Back to reality now...

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator based in Chatswood, Sydney, Australia. You can see more of her work at www.ninabeilby.com.au.

Social Media: Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

Thanks for visiting!

Super Poor Asians - Trip down the Canals of Bangkok

2019-01-13T18:02:00.002+11:00

Despite its recent industrialisation and newfound economic success, (now the 8th largest economy in Asia), there are still pockets of people living well below a standard of living that we would find acceptable. Yet, these are the most content and happy people I have seen.

People going about their lives, day to day without complaint, yet, they have so little compared to us.

It really makes you stop and wonder about a world without materialism.

Many of the places appeared quite homely, decorated with plants and ornaments. Some took on a more eclectic, artistic approach with life sized statues, stained glass and other works of art.

Not up to Code!

Nestled amongst these, many of the homes were in disrepair. I don't think they'd be up to Council code here in Oz.

River Life

Thailand originally settled its capital on the Chao Phraya river because of its abundance of fish and wildlife. Now it is a mix of traditional fishing and food Sanpans mixed with a thriving tourist trade.

Ferries operate on the river. For 15 Baht (65 cents) you can stop at all 34 piers. There are tourist river boats and cruises but we chose the Long Tail Boat for 100 Baht (AUD$6) option which included a half day trip through the canals and stopping at the floating markets.

We did get caught in a massive downpour which soaked us right through to our underwear but hey, that's all part of the river experience, right?

Taling Floating Markets

Along the Chak Phra Khlong (canal) is the Taling Chan floating markets. I was completely fascinated and could have spent more time alas, we only had 30 minutes and as it was almost missed our boat back. Sorry guys.

This lady was doing an amazingly animated job of selling her food!

Houses along Chao Phraya River

How to Get There

Where were we exactly? We boarded the Long Boat on the Chao Phraya River just South of the city. To get there we rode the train to Saphan Taksin station then walked to Sathorn Pier where Jen negotiated our trip for approx 100 Baht each. We putt putted down the river toward Bangkok and turned left at Bangkok Noi then left again at Chak Phra to the Taling Chan Markets.

If you would like to read more about our Bangkok Trip, Condoms, Hangover & Happiness, it's HERE.

Thanks for stopping by. Back to reality now...

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator based in Chatswood, Sydney, Australia. You can see more of her work at www.ninabeilby.com.au.

Social Media: Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

Thanks for visiting!

Condoms, Happiness and Hangover in Bangkok

2019-01-06T17:38:00.003+11:00

My third visit to Thailand but my first with my daughter and Steps With Hope, a charity supporting a school on the border of Thailand and Cambodia, but more of that later.

There are several things I took note of on this visit. The streets were clean. The rubbish was swept up and neatly stacked ready for collection by the evening leaving the streets spotless for the morning mix of tourists and work commuters. The air was still polluted and humid but it didn't stink like Hong Kong.

I wasn't approached by people selling their wares. For the most part, people seemed content, as though they had plenty of business and didn't need to pester.

Maybe with the exception of this boy who was left on the steps of the 7 eleven by his mum with a large cup to collect coins. Thailand relies very heavily on migrant labour which encourages people to cross the border from Cambodia to look for work. Around 130,000 of these are undocumented. 15,000 are children. As part of the ChildSafe movement, the lovely ladies from Friends International Thailand are checking that the boy was safe and free from abuse or danger.

With their hands softly touching as in prayer and a slight bow of the head and a polite Khob Khun Ka (ขอบคุณค่ะ) Thai express their respect and gratitude. I adore this and wish we were as respectful.

In general, people seem content and happy.

Street food vendor happily cooking for guests

Colourful Tuk Tuk

Best Foot Massage In Town!

Ingenious Electrical Work

CABBAGES AND CONDOMS

When our esteemed group leader who is a devout Christian suggested Cabbages and Condoms for dinner, I wasn't quite sure I'd heard her correctly. When she added that all profits support PDA (Population and Community Development Program) who support family planning, health education, and AIDS prevention amongst 300 other projects, of course I was happy to dine amongst condom light shades and coasters.

Our food was quite ok but then you really aren't there for the food and besides, I was excited to receive my complimentary condoms with the bill instead of mints, I'm dairy free anyway.

SKY BAR

When in Bangkok, a visit to the 63rd floor of the Lebua Hotel is a must. The bar is 250m in the air, one of the tallest bars in the world but unlike the other bars, this one is out in the open air overlooking the entire city.

We arrived just as the sun was setting and it was quite spectacular. Also spectacular was the price of my Gin and Tonic. $42 aussie dollars! Thankfully just one is all I needed to keep my balance all that way up in the sky with a nervous disposition and threatening vertigo!

Sadly, I didn't have my camera but these are some fairly decent phone pics. Alright, they are terrible so I'll just have to go back. Who wants to come with me?

The bar was used in Hangover 2. Here is the clip.

Stay tuned for more including our fascinating boat trip along the canals, our visit to Sangtawan School on the border and charity work with Steps With Hope plus our wonderful visit to Cambodia....

About The Author

Nina Beilby is a professional photographer and photography educator based in Chatswood, Sydney, Australia. You can see more of her work at www.ninabeilby.com.au.

Social Media: Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram

Thanks for visiting!

Puppy Love - Beautiful Puppy Portraits and Lighting Setup

2018-08-27T08:56:00.001+10:00

I needed some sample images to show a client. I knew what I wanted to do. I had ideas flying around in my head (such is the life of a creative). The only way to show someone else what is in your head is to create it so I asked my lovely neighbour if we could borrow Lulu.

Well, Lulu was a dream.

She stayed in the exact spot for the perfect lighting setup. (Doggy treats were definitely the motivating factor.) We also used funny noises and a squeaky toy to get the expressions. In all, we had most of the images within 15-20 minutes.

The chair was a last minute thought but so glad as I'm really pleased with this shot.

I was so excited by the images that I went out to Kmart and picked up a few more doggy/kitty accessories ready for my next shoot. Can't wait to meet my next mammal subject!

FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS

Here is my lighting setup for the shoot. If you have any questions, pop a comment below this post.