One Bad Apple

Wiwille's movie reviews part 86

2012-01-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

I have little recollection of the original The Blob. I know I've seen it, and Steve McQueen was in it, and he ran from a theatre which I can only assume contained the mysterious antagonist, but that's about it. When I was asked to review the remake I was thinking about revisiting the original first, but decided against it and let this film speak for itself.

The Blog is hardly original, which being a remake is no shock at all, but it's a safe formula. A small town gets exposed to a threat of fantastic origins and it's up to teenagers to save the day. In this film, the teenagers are a young Kevin Dillon and no one else you've heard of. They fit every cliche, Dillon plays the misunderstood loner who has a the look of someone you want to punch in the face for reasons you can't understand. There's a mildly attractive cheerleader, and jocks with questionable motives. Also present are evil scientists who are in the pocket of the military industrial complex. Combine this with a script that even borrows a line from Star Wars: A New Hope and you have a sci-fi horror film that serviceable.

What makes the film stand out above others is that even though the blob concept seems ridiculous, it actually has suspense. You don't see the creature have any emotion, but you can tell it's cunning. The special effects are really well done in a pre-CGI world, and actually look real instead of the cartoonish images you see today. It did what a sci-fi horror should do, keep you a bit on the edge of your seat.

As a remake I imagine it's no worse than the original, but I'm hard pressed to recommend it. Even though it was far better than I expected, I doubt many would enjoy it above superior sci-fi horror remakes of the time, such as The Thing.

Thanks to Tad for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Surprisingly worthy remake." - Widgett Walls

It's only a game.

2012-01-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

Kyle Williams seemed to have a great season. He was playing for a playoff team, in one of the biggest games of his career. All was going well for the 49ers last Sunday, until the Giants punted to him. He set back to received the punt, grabbed it, and ran as punt returners are want to do. Sadly, he was tackled, but before he was brought down, he fumbled the ball, ensuring a Giants victory.

This wasn't the only fowl up he committed that day, but it may be the one he's remembered for, forever. And now San Fransisco fans aren't letting him forget it, by sending him death threats.

I find the whole thing sad. Sure I'm a fan of the 49ers, but never will I wish harm on someone who doesn't play well. Football is a team sport, and one play does not make or break a victory. Had the team played better, forced a turnover as they did so many times before, converted on third downs, and held the Giants from making a field goal, the bay area team may have been headed to Indianapolis. Sadly one man is shouldering the blame for a poor performance, and he may be rested in the hallowed halls of major sports blunders with the likes of Trey Junkin.

To all that wish Williams harm I have this to say, if there's anyone that knows anything about ball handling, it's San Fransisco fans.

"Cause there's only one reason for doing anything that you set out to do. if you don't want to be the best, then there's no reason going out and trying to accomplish anything." - Joe Montana

Open letter to no one listening.

2012-01-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

Dear Republicans,

At the start of the election season, which keeps getting earlier every four years for whatever reason, I had reason to believe you may have had a fighting chance to contend with the incumbent. Obama, even with all his victories, was seemingly unpopular even with his own base. People were tired of the slow growth of the economy, and even more tired of a President they saw as gaining minor bills passed through Congress, instead of enacting real change in the way we do business.

Then you sprung up a list of candidates that proved to have some merit, but now that's all gone. Sure you've gotten rid of some of your crazies (Bachmann) and some of your grossly incompetent (Perry), but what's left is a terrible choice for voters.

Let's look at Gingrich, a serial adulterer and someone who resigned from Congress in disgrace. Now for the former I normally wouldn't care as I expect ambitious, powerful men to act as such, but for someone like him who keeps making the claim that they want legislation to protect the sanctity of marriage aught not tell the people how to live and love.

As for the latter, how can a voter trust Gingrich to accomplish his job when he can't even hold onto a Speaker position? His resume doesn't speak highly of his accomplishments, other than the Contract with America, which should've been titled "don't let Clinton pass anything" bill. We all know how terrible and useless it was, and was hardly the work of a uniter that we expect from a leader.

Now we have Romney, who seems like John Kerry circa 2004. An uninteresting, candidate that you might just settle for. You seem sort of like the unattractive middle age woman looking for a man to finally have children with. Why you think a man who's so out of touch with the common clay can somehow rally the base to your cause is anyone's guess.

Paul and Santorum are just laughable. Now I know a lot of well meaning Paul supporters, but they don't seem to understand what all he stands for, or refuse to learn anything about him. Santorum hasn't a prayer, even though that seems to be his only strategy at this point.

So you've basically given another four years for Obama, and I'm hoping when he takes the podium on election night he'll thank you for your gross incompetence.

Yours,
Wiwille

"I'm not a natural leader. I'm too intellectual; I'm too abstract; I think too much." - Newt Gingrich

Tales of parenting.

2012-01-20T08:12:00.001-08:00

When people told me I would experience sleep deprivation after Kenadie was born, I never really comprehended how hard it would be. I don't think anything prepares soon to be parents how little rest they would get, unless they previously served in combat. Now some without kids may think it's no big deal, just drink your coffee and man up, but really lack of REM sleep makes you do some really incredibly dumb things. Let's take a couple of examples.

1: The other day Kenadie decided sleep wasn't for her, and the next day I went into work feeling like I boxed 24 rounds. I had to use the restroom, so I entered the bathroom as one is want to do. I was face to face with a lady who had a look on her face that was half confused and half frightened. I apologized for my mistake and walked out.

2: Today I sat at my cube and attempted to unlock my laptop. I pressed the buttons on the external keyboard, but nothing was happening. Nothing. After a few minutes of pressing more buttons in vain I realized I hadn't put my laptop in it's docking station.

3: When my wife wakes me to get something in the middle of the night, I go into the kitchen and immediately forget what it was she wanted. Sometimes I try to make it look like I knew what I was doing, but will come back with something completely unrelated to what she had asked for, to her great frustration. A friend of mine was sent into his infant's room to pick up a diaper, only to come back with a pillowcase. He's not sure why either.

Sometimes I miss the energy I had when I was 22.

"Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him." - Erik H. Erikson

Help stop SOPA.

2012-01-18T07:08:00.000-08:00

Well the internet has unleashed the dogs out on SOPA, because it has nothing better to do than protect the world's favorite time waster. Still SOPA is a piece of crap bill that does little, but to harm free speech and unecissarily put businesses and writers at risk for simply linking to a site that may have copyrighted content. I agree that copyright enforcement is paramount to promoting creativity, but this bill reaches beyond that and would punish the people it claims to protect. I urge you all to sign every petition you see today and write your congressman urging them to vote against this.

And to those webmasters who are going black to protest this, well enjoy your day off!

We actively support it.

2012-01-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrate the life and accomplishments of Dr Martin Luther King. We do this as we wear clothes made by child slaves, use machines that destroy the environment, and consume services and products delivered by the oppressed world wide. I'm sure he'd be proud.

While there are many good lessons to be learned by King's work, we often fail to remember them. During the later years of his activism, King spoke about how we'll never gain true racial equality until we strive for economic equality, something we'll never do, nor even want it seems.

Slavery still exists here in the US. We see underground brothels here in the US where women are forced to give sexual favors for those who can't seem to want to get some action through legitimate means. Children are traded amongst those who have no right to breath oxygen, and yet we have no leader attempting to change these horrible practices.

If Martin Luther King Jr taught us anything, is that people are empowered to change our political and moral landscape. Anyone can be a leader to help stop the things that plague us, but yet none of us attempt do so. I'm afraid the dream may have died with him, sadly.

Still, we should never forget what one man can do to make the world a better place, and that's why today I give thanks for the man who's shown so many how righteous actions can provide a better landscape for many.

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Overrated films part 31

2012-01-13T12:03:00.000-08:00

As anyone who's traveled outside of Mississippi knows, racism is everywhere. Yes, America has made great progress in race relations, but if you only watch Hollywood crafted media, one may assume it only existed in the deep south, pre-1974.

The Help attempts to chronicle the blatant prejudice that many black people endured during the civil rights movement, and does it adequately, but fails in many respects. It's the story of a local reporter, who decides to tell the story of African-American maids who are treated as second class citizens in their work and personal life, but the only difference between their careers and the ones of slaves is that their paid a barely livable wage.

In an attempt to finally break free of the bondage of Jim Crow and those who adhere to it's philosophy, the maids bravely tell their sad tales of having to use separate bathrooms at their employers, endure cold and often juvenile taunts, and being mistreated in every way imaginable. It's an inspiring story of the power of the pen and it's ability to change our perceptions.

As moving as the story should be, the film is bogged down with so many faults it's almost difficult to list them all. The real drag are the subplots, which are at best unnecessary, and at worst distracting. A forced romantic subplot tells us nothing about any of the characters and a heartfelt, but anti-climatic tale of a maid who stole a ring to pay for her son's education took me out of the film.

The real issue I had was not the Hallmark-ish speeches delivered every five minutes, but the antagonists, which can make or break a film. In The Help, the racist maid employers are so one dimensional that one can only imagine early 60s housewives as having no other emotion or life goal than to oppress black people. They were just evil for the sake of it, and had absolutely no depth. It's as if they were perpetuating stereotypes while at the same time crushing others.

The film does have it's merits, like most overrated films. The acting by the leads is at times remarkable, and for that I would recommend it alone, and the cinematography makes the city of Jackson as picturesque as a Thomas Kincaid painting. And really, that's the target audience of this film, people who enjoy their message films to be sanitary and unchallenged, and in that it succeeds in spades. Perhaps it is a good idea to see such content, if only to remind us that we sometimes need to see issues in such black and white contrast in order to understand the grey.

"As in many reductive period pieces, there are no real characters here, just archetypes, namely reactionary cretins and sensitive souls who anticipate modern attitudes." - Ben Sachs

The history of personhood.

2012-01-12T12:50:00.000-08:00

There's been a lot of discussion regarding the idea that corporations should be considered people in the eyes of the state. What's funny about this is that most media sources cite the fairly recent Citizens United as setting the precedence for companies having the same rights as an individual. Oddly enough that was not where this idea started, nor ended obviously. It goes back as far as the early days of the Republic, but Citizens United was the first case of this issue that the Supreme Court specifically cited First Amendment protection, at least that I'm aware of.

Now it's popular to think of corporations as run by people who bathe in the blood of Japanese virgins, but the question remains, should we abolish person hood protections for them? Should the government be able to search and seize their property without a warrant? Should the government be able to regulate their business structure, including prices for good and services? Should they not be able to endorse a candidate they want elected, just because they're wealthy?

Let's just say corporations no longer have the right to endorse a candidate, couldn't a shareholder, or a group of them, do so on their own accord? I know that sounds fatalist, but if powerful people want a candidate elected, they can just simply write the checks from their own bank account and not from the assets of the company they partially own. What will really change if the Supreme Court changes their mind? If you're a shareholder should you be barred from giving to a campaign individually?

There aren't any easy answers to this complicated issue, and since it's in the court's hands there won't be any compromise, unless the public demands a new amendment that outlines clearly how a corporation should be viewed by the Federal Government, but this will never happen, because we're lazy and love the luxuries big business gives us, damage to the Republic's soul be damned.

"One of the fundamental necessities in a representative government such as ours is to make certain that the men to whom the people delegate their power shall serve the people by whom they are elected, and not the special interests. I believe that every national officer, elected or appointed, should be forbidden to perform any service or receive any compensation, directly or indirectly, from interstate corporations; and a similar provision could not fail to be useful
within the States." – Theodore Roosevelt

Debating homeopathy

2012-01-11T07:37:00.000-08:00

I have friends who'll swear by homeopathy, something which I don't understand, but I tend to not care. If they want to abuse their health with nonsense, then it's their business. What bothers me is their promotion of the quackery to others, swearing unproven methods works for peoples' health, which can be risky at best, negligent at worst.

You may ask why I care about even that. It's a valid question. My father has high blood pressure and was recommended, by a doctor no less, to take a cheap alternative, a homeopathic remedy (name eludes me). He abandoned his then current prescriptions to try the sugar pill, with almost fatal results. This is the dangers of magical thinking behind seriously diluted "medicine". Thankfully my father is OK and his blood pressure is under control when he went back to taking proven medicine and kept up his diet and exercise.

A friend posted on Facebook a homeopathic remedy she recommends as a sleep aid and something to combat anxiety. The product is Calms Forte, a homeopathic substance designed to help those who suffer from sleep deprivation. Her friends asked questions about the substance and she claimed it worked swimmingly for her.

Against my better judgment I posted a video (below) of a girl demonstrating how Calms Forte has no active ingredient by downing the entire bottle of the substance. I commented that I can't speak for it's efficiency, but it is safe.

My friend was not pleased that I posted this video and stated the girl is "full of crap" and "wasn't intelligent about homeopathy". I took the bait and asked exactly how she got it wrong, as the girl's description seems to fit with Hamenann's law of similars and dilution preparation. This sparked an anecdotal testimony to how other homeopathic remedies helped her kids cure coughs and the like, but as expected never once addressing the lack of data proving the treatment.

Her tone seemed defensive and even a bit offended, so I politely apologized for any offense I may have caused, which I didn't mean to. I didn't expect to change her mind, but I believed that her friends should hear the other side of any argument before they put their health at possible risk. Perhaps I should've let it go.

My friend is a good person with a kind heart and I believe she genuinely believes in this stuff. She was simply attempting to help people with their ailments, something I normally applaud, but such misguidance can be dangerous.

In the end I feel I accomplished nothing, because man hears what they want to hear, and I probably came off as arrogant for daring to challenge homeopathy, which in my experience, is promoted by the extremely thin skinned.

Below is a video made by James Randi, who was challenged by the maker of Calms Forte to try the "overdose", but since relented.

"I do not expect that homeopathy will ever be established as a legitimate form of treatment, but I do expect that it will continue to be popular." - James Randi

Conspircay theorists, this is your champion.

2012-01-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

There was a brief time I liked Jesse Ventura. He seemed like a rare straight shooter in politics, even if he was a bit incompetent. After he left the governor's office of Minnesota he decided to jump the crazy train and entertain viewers and spread fear with all sorts of nutty conspiracy theories that make about as much sense as why I like to read Hawthorne naked in a on the hood of my car...uhh...

Anyways Jesse Ventura would have you believe that if you don't think the government orchestrated 9/11 that you'll let "the man" implant listening devices in your reproductive organs and you'll become an informant for the police of those who are unpatriotic. It's horse shit, but there's a market for it and he's exploited people's fears all the way to the bank.

Lately a Marine sniper, who reportedly has the most confirmed sniper kills in US history, got into a spat with the former pro-wrestler. According to the sniper, Jesse showed up at a wake for a fellow Seal and started bad mouthing the war, which was highly inappropriate, especially considering he was so upset at the memorial service turned political rally in Minnesota a few years back.

According to the sniper's account, Jesse took things a bit further and said some of the seals deserve to be lost and were murders of innocents. Chris Kyle, the sniper, punched him in the face.

Did it actually happen? Who knows. I don't normally condone violence, but in this case Jesse got what was coming to him. To bring your politics to a wake is unforgivable and you deserve getting your saggy geriatric ass handed to you.

"I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am." - Jesse Ventura

Pat knows it all.

2012-01-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

A majority of Evangelicals have never read the Bible, which is strange to me, but that's for another post. They like to rely on their religious leaders to guide them on the morality of being a Christian and on the character of God. Enter Pat Robertson to guide the flock about the Testaments.

Recently he had a conversation with God, a act that if I claimed the I took part in my wife would have me committed. God did speak to Robertson and told him some interesting things. One, he said he was now aware who will win the Presidential election this year, and that America will be divided and mass chaos will ensue, because God believes Obama is out of touch with the majority of Americans, never mind that the majority once elected him, unlike his predecessor.

Why God told him to tell everyone what he knows, but fails to let him go into details is anyone's guess. It's obvious that he's deluded, or worse, lying, but the sad part is is that many will believe this nonsense. I wonder if Pat will make any bets....

"This is a spiritual battle which can only be won by overwhelming prayer. The future of the world is at stake because if America falls, there’s no longer a strong champion of freedom and a champion of the oppressed of the world. There must be an urgent call to prayer." - Pat Robertson

Traveling to North Korea.

2011-12-30T08:11:00.000-08:00

As I've written about before, I'm largely ignorant of North Korea. Granted this is largely due to the fact that they're isolationists of the highest order and rarely is western media allowed into the country, but still outside of the revolution and the Korean War (Police Action) I have a hard time even remembering the name for the country's founder. Most communist revolutionaries come to mind rather quickly (Pol-Pot, Castro, Lenin, and Mao), but the glorious founder of North (Best) Korea is largely absent from the Western collective concious.

Now that Kim Jon Il's is dead, and most of the world is happy to be rid of him, nations are anxious to see how their foreign policy will change, if any. After watching the below documentary, I have my doubts that the country is even interested in becoming a better neighbor in the world community, much less South Korea. I highly recommend viewing it:

"All of North Korea is a jail." - Kim Y. Sam

Wiwille's best and worst films of 2011

2011-12-28T08:19:00.001-08:00

Now that I'm married and have a kid I rarely go to the cinema, which is a shame. I love films (you knew that), but I wait until they come to a format I can watch at my leisure. Still it's time for my annual best and worst list of the films I made time to sit through.

1. X-Men: First Class: After watching the abomination that was X-Men Orgins: Wolverine I was less than estatic about this, but I was pleasantly surprised with the story and the above average acting from most of the cast. I think the writers made a good choice in it's historical setting, and really brought a sense of wonder back to superhero films.

2. The Tree of Life: Another film I was expecting to not like, but enjoyed immensely. Some may call it pretentious Malik being all pretenciousy, but I found it to be a beautifuly shot film about the nature of life. It worked for me, which is surprising since I'm not one to worship at the feet of all thinks Malik.

3. Thor: Another film I expected to hate, but again it struck me how much attention to detail the filmmakers gave it. With a script littered with Shakesperean themes and a great performance by Anthony Hopkins I found this to be a refreshing change from comic book films that have little if nothing to say (I'm looking at you Iron Man).

4. Bridesmaids: Unlike the often compared to film that is The Hangover, this has an actual story and characters you can either relate to or actually know in real life. Plus it's amusing and the script let's the talent of the actors really shine. I haven't laughed harder with a film this year.

5. Captain America: The First Avenger: I know you're probably thinking enough with superhero movies, but this has to be included for the atmosphere alone. Not exactly a gripping story, but a decent orgin story was created for this iconic superhero that is just plain fun.

6. Limitless: Not exactly high-brow cinema, but it has style and an intriguing enough plot that kept me hooked.

Ok so the list is less than arty, but I haven't had time to see things I really wanted yet.

And now for the worst:

1. Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon: Big, loud, stupid. The plot is so silly even twelve year olds would have to roll their eyes at it, plus there's not a single moment in the film where you're asked to connect with any character what so ever.

2. The Hangover Part II: Same as the first with a different setting, except it wasn't funny at all. It was like hearing the same joke over and over again.

3. Green Lantern: Even the worst comic book films often times give you a sense of wonder at the majesty of a hero's power (Superman Returns), but this had nothing. The main character was horribly uninteresting as well the ridiculous and confusing plot was just draining. It possibly could've worked if it had a sense of humor about itself, which the screenwriters tried to go for, and failed.

"We all love a good creation myth. That's partly why X-Men: First Class is such fanboy fun." - Rick Groen

A day in the life of Wiwille

2011-12-27T09:27:00.000-08:00

As you probably gathered, my life has changed completely since the baby arrived. Longtime readers will remember the days where I woke up, worked, came home, drank more than was safe or reasonable, involved myself in drama I never wanted nor needed, and repeated the process over and over again. Now I'll give you a tasted of what's it's like to be Wiwille today:

6:30am: Wife wakes me up and announces the baby is up. Groggily go into the kitchen, make a bottle, and get other items ready for the wife to do her motherly duties. Go back to sleep. Wake up again fifteen minutes later to let the dogs out.

7am: Wash used bottle. Get up and get ready for the gym. Go to gym and workout while watching bad morning news shows.

7:45am: Go home and shower.

8:30am: Sit down and log into work. Let the dogs out. Make breakfast and coffee.

9:30am: Wife announces baby needs attending to. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

10am: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Attend a meeting and pray the baby will sleep through it.

10:30am: Let the dogs out.

11:45am: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

12pm: Go grab lunch for you and the wife.

12:15pm: Start to eat lunch, but baby needs another bottle. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Spend the rest of the hour with baby, because it's kind of awesome to do so.

1pm: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task. Have television playing in the background.

2p: Make snack. Let dogs out. Throw in a load of laundry.

2:15p: Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

3p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

3:30p: Wash used bottle. Log back into work. Try to complete a task.

4p: Blog. Fold laundry.

4:30p: Ask wife about dinner. Cook or go out and get said dinner.

5p: Sit down to eat said dinner. Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break. Watch dinner get cold.

5:30p Eat remaining dinner. Log back into work to see if any last minute items need attending to. Watch television with the wife.

7:p: Let dogs out.

7:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

8p: Wash used bottle. Do dishes. Go back to watching television with wife.

9:30p: Wife and baby go to sleep. Go play video games.

10p: Let the dogs out.

10:15p: Go back to playing video games.

10:30p: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Feed and change baby if wife needs a break.

11p: Wash used bottle. Turn off Xbox. Go to sleep.

1a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

3:30a: Wife announces baby needs to eat. Make bottle and gather items for the wife to do her motherly duties. Thankfully the wife lets you go back to sleep while doing said motherly duties.

6:30a: Wife announces...you get the idea.

I wouldn't change my new found life for anything.

"Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other." - Edgar Watson Howe

Wiwille's movie reviews part 85

2011-12-26T08:33:00.000-08:00

You young readers may not be aware of the 80s, but to those growing up in it recall it mostly consisted of fear of everything. Parents in the 80s were glued to talk shows and the like, trying to learn about the latest trend that would turn their precious little snowflake into a coke snorting, satan worshipping, goat rapist.

The satanic panic is one I remember with not so fond memories. Thanks to the journalists with a less than stellar moral code and the neurosis of many, those with children were frightened of harmless things such as heavy metal music and role playing games, one of which was the popular Dungeons and Dragons.

I only played Dungeons and Dragons once, but I ended up getting in a fist fight with the game master and that ended my role playing career. I did enjoy the game, but even as a kid I lost interest quick realizing how much of a money pit it was, and how I couldn't afford it as there was no way my folks would ever buy that stuff for me. They were told by their church and friends that D&D would lead to things such as pagan worship and suicide, and of course believed all of it, because Satan was lurking at every corner after their children.

A cautionary tale was made to warn parents of the dangers of role playing games in the format of a made for TV movie called "Mazes and Monsters." Starring a young Tom Hanks as Robbie, the film starts with three college students convincing Robbie to play a role playing game. Robbie at first relents as he just promised his folks he wouldn't, but of course there's an attractive woman in the group so he has to go.

Robbie then becomes obsessed with the game and his character. He abandons his love life and cares less about his studies. He starts dreaming of the game and a mysterious man who tells him how to live. Why this happens is anyone's guess, but it's assumed he's mentally ill. He leaves school and becomes a missing person as he wanders around New York looking for the "Great Hall" he's been dreaming about, and ends up stabbing a thug in the process. A man hunt ensues for Robbie by his three friends who are certain he may hurt himself as he can't distinguish reality from the game.

My god this movie is horrible. Not only is it satanic panic propaganda, but it's so horribly dated and incompetent that instead of warning viewers of the so called dangers of role playing it ended up being a laughable piece of work. Propaganda should be anything but dull, and this is a great cure for insomnia.

I've had this sitting in my queue for almost a year as WIGSF requested it a long time ago. Why it's even out on DVD is a mystery as there's no reason to watch this outside of a morbid curiosity. Put any interest aside as it sucks. I should add a rule that anyone who submits films this bad will be kicked in the crotch repeatedly.

Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see
it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"Although intended as a cautionary tale, it's far more likely to inspire snickers than shudders." - James Sanford

Empathy

2011-12-23T08:16:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm a parent, sleep is something that is foreign to me. It's not that bad really as I got enough practice at giving up slumber when the wife was pregnant. Still sleep is something I kind of miss, as I get very little.

Whenever I express my newborn duties, the childless of my friends express their sympathy; however those with children seem to laugh at my exhaustion. It's sort of like how people watch a guy get kicked in the nuts, and laughter ensues. Pain is comedy for most, for whatever reason.

My parents, naturally, seem to enjoy the misery that is my lack of REM sleep. I guess becoming a parent means you have to take pleasure in the pain of others.

It's all worth it though.

"Babies control and bring up their families as much as they are controlled by them; in fact the family brings up baby by being brought up by him." - Erik H. Erikson

Homefront may not be just a video game...

2011-12-19T12:18:00.000-08:00

Kim Jong Il (not pictured here) is no longer ronery. Ok that was a cheap joke, but I'm kind of surprised about the mix feelings from the world community about his passing. China still considers the barbaric country a close friend, which I guess shouldn't be shocking. Russia seems to want to stay friendly with the regime that doesn't seem to mind seeing it's citizens starve or have basic human rights.

The west is less than kind to North Korea, or Kim Jong's memory. I'm kind of indifferent to his death. Sure he was a horrible leader and a terrible human being, but he was just incompetent enough to not be a threat to anyone, but his own countrymen. Now that he's gone, little will change probably. If I had any hope that North Korea could progress into a country seriously interested in peace for the region, then I might care, but there is none. The North Korean people seem to be under massive discipline and even through the oppression the government is their savior.

My friend Tad, aka Kim Yoon Sup, pictured above, should take his rightful place amongst his people.

"Overall relations between the North and the South have developed in favor of national reconciliation, unity and reunification." - Kim Jong Il

Nigeria sucks.

2011-12-16T12:58:00.000-08:00

I spoke with my parents the other day when mom informed me she had an "evil" phone call the other night. An office from the Department of Homeland Security phone them and informed my mother she had won a Reader's Digest sweepstakes totalling $490,000. All she had to do was send the Department of Homeland Security $2,000 to claim her prize.

Thankfully she didn't fall for the scam and informed the FBI. The office she dealt with looked up the number that appeared on the called ID originated from somewhere outside the US, and as such there was nothing they could do.

So the pig fucking scammer not only called my folks, which boils my blood, but is so stupid as to identify himself from the Department of Homeland Security. Why they didn't say they were from Reader's Digest is anyone's guess, but since these people have as much talent at scamming as a Colt's receiver does at catching footballs I wouldn't expect sound judgement from them.

The Nigerian scam has been with us for many years, well before the internet, but it's growing with frequency as people, few as they may be, are still falling for it.

"I don't think I'll ever escape the fact that I don't belong anywhere in particular. I've often dreamed about going back to Nigeria, but that's a very romantic notion. It's a hideous country to go to in reality." - Hugo Weaving

Trust him, he's a "doctor"

2011-12-14T05:43:00.000-08:00

My wife hasn't been feeling well since labor. Due to a painful experience of the anesthesiologist taking up to an hour to apply the epidural, and sitting in a hunched over position while waiting for it, she started having back spasms and the like. Headaches have ensued while she's also suffered various aches in her neck and back.

Frustrated that time hasn't alleviated her symptoms, we got desperate and made an appointment for a chiropractor. Now I'm no fan of the practice. I understand some people swear by it; however my experience with them have been less than positive. Granted the adjustments feel good, but I found that I could just replicate the results by constantly stretching and exercising.

We went largely to see if we could rule out the possibility of the epidural causing the pain or if it was the result of her back being in a largely unnatural state for a prolonged period. I was skeptical if chiropractic care was the answer, but was again a bit desperate to learn more about my wife's illness.

We go into the clinic and instantly there was a red flag. I saw a brochure about a weight loss program the Dr endorses, and in huge letters it talks about the homeopathic weight loss medication called HCG, which has just been ordered under a massive recall by the FDA for...wait for it...having no proven effectiveness. Plus it's homeopathy, which is bullshit of the highest order, but I kept my mouth shut hoping that we would learn something.

The doctor introduced himself and the wife explained her symptoms. The doctor then went on a rant about epidurals and how women should just be taught to 'tough it out'. I wanted to punch the fucktard in the fact, not only for being a hawker of snake oil, but for being an insensitive prick. Luckily he caught himself by telling the wife he wasn't suggesting she wasn't tough, but that it is his opinion that women should do things natural, and that's why his last two children were all home birthed. I didn't feel like debating the fact that most of nature would like to kill you, as there's no changing the mind of a respected physician, but it crossed my mind.

Anyways he gave the wife an adjustment, which didn't help at all, and asked her to follow up with him later, which we'll never do. Hiring a witch doctor would've had the same effectiveness, and would've at least been entertaining.

Wiwille creates life.

2011-12-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

"Jumping Jesus," I shouted. "I got to go. I'm going to be a daddy."

I was running a meeting at work when I received the text message from my wife that her water broke. Everyone told me to get off the call and get to the hospital. At home I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to pack last minute items. I drove to the hospital, sent texts and made phone calls to appropriate folks, and went to the room to see how Kelly was doing.

Labor is kind of like combat, it can be hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror. For most of it I sat around and greeted people who stopped by, tried to keep my wife as comfortable as possible, and tried to keep my mind occupied. Then, after over 17 hours the nurse decided it was time to push.

Now I expected to be in the room and coach my wife through the process, but I had no idea how much of an active participant I would be. In the old days fathers just chain smoked in the waiting rooms, cigars and whiskey ready to be passed out. The nurse ordered me and my mother in-law to grab the wife's legs and press them up against her as she made each push. The nurse then took out a sheet and tied a knot on each end and asked me to do a tug of war with Kelly as she pushed. The wife was getting exhausted as pushing took over an hour and a half, but finally the doctor showed and it was time to meet our daughter.

The wife pushed the head out and the doctor grabbed the baby's head and twisted it, making me think she may be crushing it. I wanted to punch the physician, but of course I trusted the fact that she knew what she was doing. For those who've never seen their wife in labor, I was shocked at how much adrenaline was running through me. Actually, I've never had a bigger rush, and this coming from someone who used to jump out of planes.

They finally let me hold my new baby girl, and I never felt more happy nor proud.

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper." - Emo Phillips

Wiwille is going to have a baby.

2011-12-08T07:47:00.000-08:00

I'm going to be a daddy today.

That is all.

Wiwille's movie reviews part 84

2011-12-07T11:29:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it's great to fantasize about being able to altar the course of history. You've been in those conversations about if it's moral to kill Hitler before he became the Furher, or whether you could stop the career of Nickleback.

"The Final Countdown" plays with this idea. It's the story of the aircraft carrier Nimitz, which sounds like a schoolyard bully's taunt. Regardless this 80s carrier has aboard a civilian observer, played by Martin Sheen, and an old fashioned captain played by Kirk Douglas. The carrier leaves Pearl Harbor for a routine voyage, but is then transported back in time to Dec 6th 1941, the day before the Japanese attack Hawaii.

After some initial confusion the captain finally accepts that the impossible has happened. He picks up two boaters who have come under attack of Japanese Zeros, as well as one of the pilots who was shot down by the American jets. One of the boaters is a senator who when he learns of the plot tries to warn the naval base, but is laughed at.

The captain has a decision to make, attack the Japanese fleet with all the might of his overwhelming superior weapons and save thousands of lives, or not altar the course of history. After much debate he finally makes his decision...

"The Final Countdown" is extremely dated, with awful special effects and horrific music, but it's not without merits. The acting by the leads is far better than expected and the plot is interesting, even if the dialogue is not. There are some impressive flight scenes that would even rival "Top Gun", but largely the military readiness shots are straight out of a recruiting video.

I would recommend it based upon said strengths, but the ending is a cop out of the highest order and really made the viewing experience not a worth while one.

Thanks to Greg for submitting this. Wanna see a film reviewed by Wiwille? Drop me an email or comment and you'll see it soon on One Bad Apple. Rules are posted here.

"A solid movie with a lousy ending." - Walter Chaw.

Bad Movies I Love part 31

2011-12-05T08:36:00.000-08:00

Some bad movies are best remembered when you're young. I recall watching "The Warriors" for the first time when I was in my late twenties, based on numerous recommendations. I didn't care for it, but others who do seem to do so based on their memories from when they were twelve years old. We all have those films that are best preserved in the databanks of our youth, such as my love for movies such as "Rad" and "Red Dawn".

I recently watched "They Live", directed by John Carpenter, on Turner Classic Movies, of all channels. I've heard it quoted endlessly in my younger years, but never took the time to view it in it's entirety. After watching it I was dissapointed I waited so long to see this classic, dark comedy/sci-fi film.

"They Live" tells the story of a transient referred to as Nada. He meets Frank at his newfound place of employment, who takes him to a homeless dwelling for food and shelter. The church across the street has some strange doings, so naturally our hero decides to investigate. He finds it's a front for some weird sciencey devices. Confused, he leaves.

The next day police raid the shantytown and bust it up. The church goers leave in a hurry, so afterwards Nada looks through the church and finds a pair of sunglasses. He puts them on and sees that all media contains subliminal messages, like "Obey" and "Marry and Reproduce" and "Consume". He also sees some of the citizens as aliens, who control said media, which freaks him the hell out. He then aquires weapons and decides to fight the alien menace, as only a John Carpenter hero can.

"They Live" is a b movie in almost every fashion, but the story and the one liners are very entertaining. It does make fun of consumer culture, which is often an easy target, but surprisingly it's really funny and subersive. The movie has charm, even though the acting ranges from bad to unwatchable. The plot has holes, but I'd watch the movie again just to see Roddy Piper deliver such awesome lines such as "I have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. I'm all out of bubble gum", which is delivered at random.

I could only recommend maybe a handful of B-sci/fi films, but this is definitley one of them, maybe even at the top of my list.

"Carpenter's ability to fuse the bawdy humor and action with an intelligent script make for a genre film that is both thoughtful and entertaining." - Derek Smith

Wiwille is not a good leftie.

2011-12-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

I feel like a terrible liberal when I admit that I don't find Jon Stewart nor Stephen Colbert that funny. It's almost hard to come out with it, as if I should hold my head down in shame as I don't worship at the altar of comedians who aren't as humorous as they and their audience think they are. The Daily Show and the Colbert Report are similar to watching modern SNL, you might get one chuckle in a half hour viewing. The rest of the jokes makes me scratch my head and wonder how the audience didn't see the punch line coming 20 seconds before it was delivered.

One of the reasons I was so happy to see Bush leave office is I didn't have to hear Stewart do that lame impression of him anymore. I could only stand watching him raise his fist in the air and damn something unrelated to whatever he was talking about so many times where even in my most bored moments I couldn't struggle a smile.

Granted Stewart has his moments, as does Colbert, and when they're on they're hilarious and insightful. Problem is that lasts maybe 12 seconds. I remember seeing Stewart take on the host of Mad Money and give him the what for and expected the poor bastard to answer for all of CNBC lack of journalistic excellence in the wake of the then new recession. We learned absolutely nothing from that interview, yet somehow Stewart was proclaimed a hero on the left, someone who took someone to task for all our sorrows. As if the host of an afternoon television show was responsible for poor mortgage lending.

Now I like it when Stewart verbally spars with people that actually matter in the public discourse, but what really bothers me is why he hasn't taken Adam Sandler to task for making unwatchable films and marketing them as funny. If he really cared about his audience he'd make sure to never have Sandler on the show to promote his mediocre films ever again.

Colbert's act is just getting old and the jokes are pretty stale. His writers only have to replace a few nouns here and there for each show and they're done. It just feels lazy each and every time.

Being fresh with material on a daily basis can't be easy, but at least be somewhat funny when you're being insightful or pretentious. Audiences are very forgiving, even when the host is being an arrogant ass. Bourdain's made a career of it, and he says nothing even remotely interesting.

Maybe I'm just missing the party, or I'm not as good a liberal as I think I am.

"I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'" - Jon Stewart

Quackery.

2011-11-29T16:23:00.000-08:00

Sadly, all of us have been touched by cancer in one way or another. We all know someone who has suffered from it, or at least the threat of it. The plague of the twentieth century has taken many lives, so it's no surprise that those diagnosed with the horrific disease can be desperate to find a cure.

Of course there are many who'll promise a cure, or at least a simple remedy, for a hefty fee of course. Not surprisingly, none if any of these miracle cures have actually been proven to work, but many in the "alternative medicine" business will defend the unscrupulous practice of selling snake oil to the sick and dying with the zeal of a religious fundamentalist.

This brings me to Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, who operates a cancer treatment clinic out of Houston, Texas. He makes strong claims for something he calls antineoplaston therapy, which is found in urine and supposedly replaces missing peptides in the bloodstreams of cancer patients. It sounds like a reasonable way of tackling cancer, but as most things in medicine and life, if it sounds too good to be true, it often is. As I'm aware there have been no randomized clinical trials that prove this therapy to be effective at all. The FDA tried to bring down the hammer on Dr Burzynski, but an appeals court decided he could continue with the quack treatment, so long as he calls them trials instead of therapy.

So patients shell out hundreds to thousands of dollars to Dr Burzynski for a method that hasn't passed the test of science, of whom I can't really fault. If I or a loved one had cancer I can't say I wouldn't try anything to save them, even if it meant abandoning all sense or reason.

This brings me to Rhys Morgan, a seventeen year old blogger from the UK. He saw some of his fellow countrymen take donations from people in order to be flown to Houston for Dr Burzynski's trials. He wrote a factual blog about how it's a load of horseshit, so as alternative medicine practitioners do, Burzynski had his lawyer threaten a teenager with a libel suit. Morgan decided not to take this lying down and posted the exchange with the mentally challenged attorney online. I suggest reading about it here.

The lawyer, some fool with serious ethical issue named Marc Stephens, has also threatened other bloggers who have wrote about the quakassery of Burzynski, even going so far as to include his subjects' families in the correspondence. His incompetence has created the Streisand effect for Burzynski, and more people are being educated about what a fraud his claims are.

So why am I blogging about this? Well personally I have a special kind of hatred for 'alternative medicine' practitioners and their supporters, as they prey upon the sick and dying while selling snake oil. Homeopathy, anti-vaccine, and other nonsense have endangered public health with their bullshit. Even well meaning, intelligent folks subscribe to this, but they're just as guilty as those who know full well they're peddling crap to the weak and needy.

Also Rhys asked other bloggers to tell the story of Mr Stephens, attorney extraordinaire, and quack Burzynski, in hopes people actually take science seriously and maybe spend their money on finding a real cure for cancer. In Rhys' words:

"So in order to spread the word, I need your help. I would really appreciate
it if you could do the following two things:
Tweet about the Burzynski clinic. You could either write your own tweet or
you could retweet my suggested tweet: RT @rhysmorgan Patients need to know the
whole truth about Burzynski’s cancer treatment claims: http://josephinejones.wordpress.com/2011/11/25/stanislaw-streisand-and-spartacus/
OR you could retweet this: RT @rhysmorgan Dr Burzynski does not want you to
know the whole truth about his cancer treatments, which is why he tried to sue
me http://rhysmorgan.co/2011/11/threats-from-the-burzynski-clinic
Add a link to this blog from your website so that it will increase the
PageRank for this blog so that when patients search for Burzynski, they discover
this blog as well as Dr Burzynski’s propaganda. This way, they can discover the
whole truth and determine for themselves whether it’s worth investing in his
treatment."

Bravo to you Rhys and others who have been bullied by these jerks.

"I posted the blog so that patients, their friends and families would be aware of the whole story about Burzynski and his unproven therapy. I want them to be aware that the treatment seems to be in a constant cycle of trials generating unpublished results. As Dr Howard Ozer, director of the Allegheny Cancer Center in Philadelphia, said – it is scientific nonsense." - Rhys Morgan