Day by Day

Not Much Of A Fishing Day

2009-12-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

So we were all ready to go out fishing. The rods, the spinners, the reels, the line were all ready. Even the dog was ready. Our fishing tackle boxes were loaded and the sandwiches were made.
Then one car broke down. Never mind. A quick change into my friends car and we are ready to go.
And that car was also on the blink.
One of my more frustrating fishing trips ever. Specially as I had not only been looking forward to it for a long time, I was desperate for day out by the river and away from it all.
Still it is one of the first things we learn as anglers - patience.
They say silence is golden - it is patience that is golden and is surrounded by a silver lining.
Next week we'll try again.

Back Again And Getting Ready For The Fishing Season

2009-11-12T18:38:00.001-05:00

We are now in mid November, and this makes it that time of the year again - the time for some good, and hopefully extraordinary, trout fishing.
First some basic facts:
Location: Latitude - '0' degrees
Altitude: 2800 meters
Country: Ecuador
River: In the Andes mountain range, before reaching the Rain Forest.
Climate: Normally this side of the mountains it would be the rainy season - which means raining everyday. On the rivers side, it may occasionally rain, but it is the dry season.
State of River: Very little water. It hasn't rained, not even in the Amazon basin. Rivers are nearly dry.
Potential Fishing: Should be good this year, unless the locals have been using nets, poison or "Dupont" lures. It sounds terrible and it is, but it is a reflection of both the educatio0n and the lack of control. Hey, sometimes it is the military who use the dynamite.

Having said all that, it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. When nature is on your side, and it usually is, the river, the mountains, the birds (some extraordinary river ducks and parrots) are there to guide us.

So it is time to find my fishing tackle boxes, get my tackle, check it, replace some of the stuff and maybe tie a couple of flies.

This year I will be posting about my fishing on a "day by day" basis.

Magi Of The East

2009-01-10T15:12:00.001-05:00

The biblical Three Wise Kings are celebrated on the 6th January. The Gospel of Mathew tells us that they found the baby Jesus by following a star. Along the way they came across King Herod, who tried to trick them into telling him where this new king was.

They came bearing gifts of frankincense, gold and myrrh. Warned in a dream about Herod's intentions, they left following a different route. Herod followed this up with the massacre of young children of Bethlehem.

Not much more is known about them, though popular myth gives them the names of Balthazar, Melchior and Caspar.

So on Tuesday we decided to begin our own family tradition (based lightly on the Mexican one) of celebrating the Magi from the East.

We prepared a cheese fondue, and my wife made a ring shaped loaf which after slicing became an excellent piece for scooping up the cheese.

Before eating we shared a brief prayer and talked about the Magi, not only about the biblical reference, but also about their possible journey.

We all decided this would become a yearly tradition as we had great fun (after the religious side of things it became a moment of sharing, joking, laughing and overall healthy fun).

We all had a glass of wine (a very small sip for the two youngest) and fed to our heart's content.

This is something to be repeated as it also provided an interesting alternative to the typical New Year Resolutions.

As we invented different adventures for the Magi, we realized that though the religious view has always stressed that they came to adore the Messiah, to get there they had to have had a vision and the strength of mind and dedication to follow that star.

So we shared our vision for the coming year - one particular point each. Travel, spending more time together, work and school related, and so on.

In all a moment of great joy. And a great lesson for all, but especially the children (5).

The lesson: the importance of having a vision (a goal) and the willingness to go for it.

Let's see what happens next year.

I Will

2009-01-07T11:33:00.002-05:00

You may have noticed that at the bottom of this page I have said: I Will.

Many years ago I read an Ayn Rand novel - it was either The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged - and one of the secondary characters had a yacht and he named it "I Will".

According to him many people asked why he named it that way, and eventually he told the hero.

All his life, and he had been born in a poor neighborhood, everyone kept telling him:

"You can't do this ... you can't do that... you mustn't this, that or the other".

And all the time, but keeping it to himself, he decided that he would do what ever he chose to do, no matter what people said or did.

And that became his motto.

I kind of liked that and so decided that I also "would", but I have always been aware that this could mean trampling over others and so have never forgotten that respecting the rights of others must go hand in hand with my "I Will".

Calm, Cool and Collected

2008-10-31T16:37:00.001-05:00

Yesterday morning at around 10.45 a.m., as I was working in my office (at home) I noticed some noises in the house. When I am working or reading I disconnect from everything (this drives my wife crazy, by the way).

Anyway as I started to get up from my desk a woman appeared, saw me and walked back out. I started to follow her to find out what was going on - frankly I was just curious. As I walked out I was confronted with this woman and two young men, with balaclavas covering their faces and waving a gun in my face. This guy was extremely nervous and that gun was shaking all over.

I guess subconsciously I had realized that the noises I was hearing were out of the ordinary - so I was able to take in the situation very quickly; wasn't shocked or scared. My mind did go into overdrive immediately.

I told them to relax, and repeated this two or three times. We walked back into the office. I was told to lie face down, which I did, with my hands in front. I told them I was taking my glasses off, which I did, placing them in front of me. The rest went rather quickly - they tied my hands behind my back, and my feet.

These guys were extremely nervous, and I remembered hearing or reading somewhere that amateur thieves are much more dangerous as they can get very violent due to fear and inexperience.

So at different intervals, not to close together, I told them to relax and take what they want.

The woman seemed to be in charge - she was the only one who spoke, the others whispered. (At this point, due to the noises and whispered conferences they were having I realized there were between five and six thieves).

She kept on asking where the jewels and money were and threatening that they had a gun.

By this time they had covered me with a blanket. I told them that we don't have any cash or jewels - she kept on threatening, but eventually began to believe me.

I then asked them not to step on my glasses or break them - and she answered with less nervousness, that they wouldn't. The atmosphere which had been heavily charged with fear and adrenalin started to calm down. I repeated my request and someone lifted the part of the blanket covering my head and placed my glasses next to me.

She still insisted on the whereabouts of the money and jewels, but less forcefully until she accepted there wasn't any around.

All this time the others were ransacking the office, and the house in general. Drawers were being ripped out and contents thrown all over the place - they were making a right mess in their quest for treasures (with little luck I might add).

I asked them (politely but firmly) not to take my ID or license as it was of no use to them ...

She answered, quite nicely actually, that they wouldn't. In this last exchange she started (I am sure she didn't realize this) to refer to me as "sir".

I repeated my request and the blanket was again lifted and my wallet placed next to me.

They continued going over the house for about ten minutes. Very occasional whispers came through to me and I overheard a couple of phone calls - in the first one of the men just said "In a few minutes", and the second something like "Nearly ready".

I heard them walking downstairs and a male voice asking loudly for a rubbish bag. Then silence until I heard the front door being closed softly.

I strained my wrists apart and managed to loosen the cord round my right wrist. I slipped my hand out and it was free. I wobbled and jumped around to the telephone and called the police.

I finished untieing myself and quickly looked around. I then went down stairs.

On Thursdays a lady comes to our place to help with the cleaning, and she had arrived earlier on with a friend. I found them also tied, face down and covered with towels. I told them that it was all over and nobody was hurt. They were quite understandably shaking and crying. I untied and tried to calm them down.

By then I heard the police giving a short squirt of their siren and opened the front door.

In all I guess around fifteen minutes elapsed between the moment the thieves appeared (it looks as if they climbed over our neighbor's fence), tied the girls, and left.

The girls were treated much worse than I was. They were thrown to the ground, one of them was kicked in the ribs. They were stepped on while being tied and threatened much more than I was.

Anyway, the rest isn't important. They didn't take very much. My kids' CPU, my monitor, an ipod, a bit of cash the two ladies had with them.

They left me my ID's and credit cards.

The point of sharing all this is we never know what may happen, how we will react or the consequences of our actions.

Always keep calm, no material thing is worth anyone's life or health. If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, cooperate and keep calm. Don't waste time or energy in being scared, getting angry or panicking (the girls did and they had a much harder time). Think and try to manage the situation.

I think I was able to do this and ended up with a bit of control - these guys were really nervous and dangerous, but I was lucky enough to diffuse this - and, hey, to them I am "Sir"

Monthly Family Review

2008-09-16T16:52:00.002-05:00

Once a month Amore and I get together to review the month that was and uncover the month that will be.

We usually do this on the last Saturday. We plan a time for ourselves, sometimes at home, many times at the Schoenstatt Sanctuary that is about half an hour away.

This is our favorite spot, as we can have all the privacy we need. The place is beautiful with its surrounding gardens, we can enjoy the view of the snow tipped volcano and have a place for prayer that spreads tranquility.

We follow a pattern.

We begin with a prayer of thanks for the gifts we have received, be they positive or apparently negative. (I say apparently as I have found that even the hardest moments end - perhaps years later, many times sooner - with positive results).

We then review, individually, the previous month.We measure our actions and responses against our objectives; we look at new things that happened or didn't, and we ask ourselves three questions, and write all this down:

What can I learn from this? (What is God telling me).
How did I respond? (How did I answer).
How should I have responded? (How would I have liked to answer Our Lord).

We apply these questions to three scenarios from our lives:
- As a family, as parents and as husband and wife.
- On personal human relationships - friends and relatives.
- Professionally. On our spiritual growth. Both prayer and in regards to action.

We then share those things we believe should be shared.

After this we do something very similar for the coming month - based on what we see coming, and more importantly, regarding our attitude and goals.

Part of this, is that we set aside a time just for ourselves, once every week.
I like films, and eating out (fishing isn't allowed on a night out).
Amore likes museums, plays and concerts. So we combine these, alternating weeks.

Tonight is Amore's turn and we are going to the ballet.

We also plan a specific outings, either one day or the whole weekend, dedicated to the family.

This past February was the trip to the jungle - rafting, kayaking and caving.

We finish knowing we have charged our batteries; we have invested in our relationship and we look to the forthcoming month with optimism and knowing that living each day to the full will be possible as well as delightful.

Privacy policy

2008-04-06T13:04:00.000-05:00

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And Then There Were Nine

2008-03-13T11:04:00.005-05:00

Too many interesting things have been going on since I was here last, so for a moment I had no idea where to start.

Since the "nature" type of entries are the ones I most enjoy, I´ll start off with one of those.

Apart from the dogs, the disappearing cat and the now defunct rabbit (who died of a tumor)we now have quails and until yesterday eleven chicken.

Our dog Sazu, the old and apparently worn out Akita, has been up to his old tricks. He raided the hen house and managed to sequester two of the chickens. The cackling and barking brought us rushing to the rescue and though we managed to recover nine hens, for two it was too late. And now there are nine.

Sheba (our other dog) is furiously jealous of all the attention Sazu has been getting. She kept trying to steal the bodies but the king of the kennel would have none of it. I am not sure if it is an age thing (she is a young teenager) or that she isn't as smart as she thinks. Trying to imitate Sazu while he is being chastised makes me wonder.

The kids after mourning the hens for all of two seconds were thoroughly enjoying the spectacle.

- Sazu proudly lining up the two ex-hens in the midst of all the fuzz.
- Sheba rushing around, excited and nearly bitten by a roaring giant of a dog.
- Mummy chasing everything that moved with a stick.
- Cackling chickens.
- An elder teenager trying to tempt anyone with another live hen.

We didn't have chicken for lunch, but we did enjoying reliving these moments.

Girls Can Be Annoying

2007-11-08T09:31:00.001-05:00

Following with the "Annoying Habits" theme of my last two posts, it wouldn't be fair not to mention something about girls.

And these do come from the heart.

First and foremost, shopping is not fun. It is not a sport, it is not a game and at the end of the day you end up poorer. As far as I am concerned unless it is books, music or an interesting gadget, you don´t need to share it with me. In fact when it is books and so on, I still prefer to do it on my own.

When I come up to a baby, I also want to make cooey noises. But please don`t make baby voices when there are no babies around. You sound infuriatingly empty headed, and as if you lost your marbles. And definitely don`t do it in front of your husband's boss. It doesn't look good.

Girls who start pouting and slowly build up into a hiccoughing, I am out of breath, type of crying.

Nagging and bossy women. This is only good in jokes. When St. Peter told the men lining up in front of the pearly gates that only those whose wives didn't boss them around should step forward, only one man did. St. Peter congratulated him and then asked him how he did it. This man explained that his wife on the other line told him to step forward. No nagging and bossy women, please.

Women who paint their nails all day long, chew gum and talk on the phone while clients are waiting.

Women who say honey all the time. It sounds better coming from Winnie the Pooh.

Don't You Hate People Who ...

2007-11-06T14:55:00.001-05:00

Don´t you hate people who ...

Are always late and just shrug it off. This is not just bad manners, as far as I am concerned they are not only rude they are stealing my time.

Just stare at others. Rude and aggressive. Why don't they do something more productive?

Know everything. And then interrupt to show the world and their aunt how brilliant they are. If they only knew!

Sneeze loudly in a crowded place and look around as if waiting for applause.

Then they bring out a used and dirty handkerchief. Blah! (Sigh of disgust).

Have bad breath and lean into you as they talk.

Eat with their mouths open and then start yabbering away, spluttering the stuff all over the place.

Always jump in with the punch line of somebody else's jokes.

And those who are just loud, decibels above everybody else.

Well I just had that sort of a weekend, a new acquaintance that managed all the above. I guess I won't accept his invitation next week.

Boys Will Be Boys

2007-11-05T16:29:00.001-05:00

OR ...

Toilet Seats and Loud Noises.

I am sure it is a male thing. We have three boys ranging in age from 9 to 19, and all have these habits (habits my wife has convinced me are annoying).

From the moment they learned how to pee, they leave the toilet seat up. (Why do women leave the toilet seat down?)

They stop listening very quickly, specially when you begin to repeat yourself.

They enjoy their bodily noises, and are quite fluent. It seems to be a question of practice and natural ability.

They love lavatory humor.

They fall asleep with a hand comfortably between their legs.

As they grow older they will probably graduate into the more annoying male habits, but as I told my wife, girls also have their fair share.

Family Meal Time

2007-10-30T14:52:00.001-05:00

Many of us have heard over the years that one of the most important family times is meal time.

I couldn't agree more.

The problem is that in this day and age it is getting more and more difficult to manage the time part of this equation.

For a family of seven, 5 kids plus mom and pop, everyone has different engagements and different priorities. We span the age spectrum going from 9 to 50.

Breakfast is always hectic as everyone starts the day with a large disparity of energy, time awareness and occasional peskiness. It is always a rushed affair, with family members appearing and disappearing at different moments.

Lunch is just about impossible with the different school and work schedules. I never make it as my work is over 45 minutes away, and the rest glide in at intervals.

We do manage a few dinners together every month, but the quality family time is weak.

How to get round this.

We (as in all of us) have come up with a few alternatives that are fun and contribute to family bonding.

Once a week we have a family night. One of us acts as master of ceremonies, which means he or she can choose the menu, the conversation subjects as well as the after dinner activities. Usually a movie. We all get a chance to be in charge once every seven weeks and as we all have different favorite foods we learn to accept other family member's choices - which is very important in such a rowdy home.

Once a month we "the parents" take one of the children out for his or her night out. A meal at a restaurant, followed by skating, bowling or a movie. We therefore also manage to make that one child feel extra special.

Either Saturday or Sunday morning we have an extra special brunch. This is a new development which everyone wants to keep. Everybody, including the dogs and the cat (by the way we have a new white frog in the home), pitches in with cooking, setting the table, talking, laughing, dancing and playing. We are not doing so well yet with the cleaning up, but I am optimistic.

In short, family time, together time and specific time is quality time put to very good use.

Tomorrow Never Comes

2007-10-26T11:10:00.000-05:00

At regular intervals I sit back, comfortably, and try to look at my life objectively; where I am going, what I expect and where I am at.

I have often wondered if this habit is just my own or whether it is a "baby boomer" trait. Or simply middle age?

Whatever the case may be I did this last night. I realize that many illusions have disappeared but they have been replaced by new, more tempered ones.

I keep reminding myself that it is not what you do, it is how you do it and with whom.

And the main lesson I gave myself yesterday is a gentle reminder to live a day at a time. To live fully, as tomorrow will take care of itself when tomorrow becomes today.

Sneezing Cat Thoughts

2007-10-19T13:20:00.001-05:00

While feeding cat some milk he fell into a fit of sneezing. Some misplaced hair I'm sure. I enjoy observing his classy style of pretending nothing out of the ordinary happened, and the fact that he is in complete control of any situation.

This reminded me of the times he accidentally slips off a cupboard, or steps on a plate or any of those many times one of the dogs wants to play.

He is the master of style, very self conscious and the embodiment of cool. He reminds me of a few people but he carries it off much better.

I noticed that the same thing happens to cat as it does to people. There is a split second at the start of the sneeze when we close our eyes. There is nothing we can do to control this; believe me, I have tried.

This peculiarity always strikes me when I am driving and have to sneeze. And on top of it all, the burst of air (and other things) slips out at over 100 mph.

Mine always come out in high volume making me the object of stares and a few smiles.

But cat would be offended if I laughed.

Nature in The Home

2007-10-18T14:48:00.001-05:00

Since I last wrote we decided to have closer encounters with nature.

The dog, the cat and the rabbit have turned into three dogs and a cat.

If you are good at reading between the lines you will have noticed the sad demise of our rabbit. He had been living the last year with a tumor below his throat.

The cat is still very catish, temperamental and disappears every so often.

The fiend has convinced us his is quite intelligent although he gets carried away at times and wallows in mud. For a mini (medium?) Schnauzer, this coating of mud transforms him into something out of primeval and slimy bog.

Our next door neighbor's Akita (she also happens to be my mother-in-law - our neighbor not the dog) has also adopted us. He is quite fearsome looking, but behind that savage demeanor he is a gentle beast. Actually to be fair to him, he is just old. I can tell when he sleeps (a large part of the day) he still has youthful dreams. They must be interesting as he hardly whimpers, but snarls instead.

And the young lass, our latest addition is a beautiful dog. She is a Swiss shepherd something; cute, lovely hair, great disposition and happy pup.

Perhaps her only fault is she has a weak bladder, which I constantly forget.
Just about every day I come home she greets me enthusiastically whereupon I do my old man's impersonation of a cross country runner as I rush avoiding puddles in the yard, but always manage to get splattered.

Which in turn means when I enter the house I am immediately welcomed with glorious shouts of joy ordering me to go and clean up.

It is during those times I fully realize nature IS in my home.

The Travelling Loo

2007-03-25T18:49:00.001-05:00

My 11 year old girl was quite excited this morning as she told us her dream. (Though she kept getting confused and referred to it as the movie).

She had gone up to her cousin Ben (14) and proposed they build a club house. He refused as he already has his own.

So she next found her self in the toilet and sat down on the "loo". She flushed and with a sinking feeling found her self (still sitting there by the way) whooshing downwards until she landed in an almighty cave.

The colors were amazing, as were the sounds of dripping water and gorgeous smells. (Better than the loo she insisted).

Ben was there ready to great her as this was his club house. They walked towards a chamber, all furnished and carpeted when she saw her elder brother and Father Rodney. Her brother rushed to her to give her a great big hug and as he did ... she woke up with the fiend hound licking her face.

Anyway she was so happy and excited that her younger brother kept on telling her to finish the story.

So now I know she dreams in Technicolor, with stereo sounds and loads of smells.

An Educated Young Lady

2007-03-23T17:36:00.001-05:00

I was leaving work when the phone rang. As I answered a very young voice asked to speak with Daddy.

Although I am on close terms with a few young voices wanting to talk to this Daddy, this wasn't one of mine.

So after exchanging a few sentences I understood it was Michael our friend, she was asking for.

"Your dad has left and is on his way home right now, so you'll see him shortly."

"I am not at home", she went on "You see my mother had an operation on her ... well I don't really know, except that she'll give me a talking to if I tell anyone she did something to her breasts".

"Well thank you and bye-bye".

And that my friends, was Cynthia, Mike's well brought up 5 year old little girl.

Future Perfect

2007-03-22T10:44:00.001-05:00

Many years ago I actually studied Latin at school. Quite honestly I hated it. I barely remember "amo, amas, amat..." (I love, you love, he loves..). I always felt it was a contradiction in terms - to begin with love while learning a dead language. For a time I thought it was Tiddles'(Latin master) sense of humor. I was quite deflated when I realized it was standard practice.

One thing that did stay with me was the tenses. I can't remember if you decline or conjugate verbs. Be that as it may, I had to learn the tenses. Apart from the present, the past and the future, you have the active and the passive voice.

But my favorite, without really knowing how to apply it, is:

The Future Perfect

What a marvelous concept. A perfect future.

For the immediate future, this coming week includes:

- Our 20th wedding anniversary, and Amore's birthday on the same day. I have always insisted I am her present so she shouldn't expect much more. Somehow she doesn't agree. I wonder why. So instead we will have a private party.

Longer term that is our ideal. A Perfect Future.

If our past is anything to go by, and it is, we are living this perfect future. A brief view must include the fact we met one Thursday evening, decided to get married a week later and married within the month. I was living in England at the time so for the span of two weeks we exchanged letters daily, until she caught up with me in London.

For some time after our marriage the postman still brought our love letters. And this is a habit we have kept, more or less. Come to think of it I haven't written to her for a while. (Something else for my to do list).

I still remember my first letter to her, written on the plane from Quito to London. I explained that I was absolutely sure of what I was doing, but if she had second thoughts, she had every right to do so. About ten days later in London I received a letter from her where she stated the same thing.

Back to the first letter I wrote her.

I went on to say that I would do my utmost so that our love would never become ordinary, a habit. I could see us walking had in hand, with occasional eye exchanges that were full of meaning, as we talked without saying a word. This would take place sometime, when I had less hair, was rounder and perhaps using a walking stick. She would also be older, with gray hair and most importantly be by my side.

I would pass my fingers over her face, hesitating slightly over the wrinkles round her eyes as I admired and loved them. These were the well earned scars of a full life. Each one reflecting a life lived and loved to the full.

This Perfect Future is also born out of the Future Past. And the Perfect Present is the one where it all comes to be.

It's Only Human

2007-03-16T08:36:00.001-05:00

We are only human, and that is a cliche we use to justify our faults and shortcomings.

It is also a sentence that exemplifies our true potential.

We are born with the ability to love.
We have the need of being loved.
We have the wish to grow and find the reason for it all.
We search for God.
We think (most of us anyway), we feel, we communicate, we create, we wonder, we fear, we laugh, we play, we cry.

All these and many more are ours.

What and how we use them is our decision.
When is the action.
Why is the question.

And the answer ...

A loving God.

I Dreamt it was My Funeral

2007-03-12T15:43:00.000-05:00

I dreamt it was my funeral. I hid in the church and watched.

There was a sadness in the air. Tears in many eyes and a blankness in others.

I was also saddened as I tried to guess the memories I left behind.

To my wife.
To my children.To my friends and relatives.
To my colleagues.
To my town and country.
To society.

And then I thought,
What if?
What if, this and that, with all I came in contact?
What if to each their own gift?
What if I had lived giving more of myself?
What if I had fought the battles that should have been fought?
What if I had shared my gifts and talents with others?

Then perhaps this day and in this church, my parting gift to those in sadness, to those with tears and to those in blankness, would have been a bit of joy, of light, of wisdom, of selflessness, of love.

As I stood there, hiding, I realized regrets are the saddest memory one could have. A waste of time, of meaning, of life.

Such a waste ... and as with all waste, it is lost amid our mindlessness and can never be recovered.

I woke up, and here I am.

A Place Called Home

2007-03-11T10:05:00.000-05:00

Do you know that place called home?

- Where nobility and honesty walk hand in hand
- Where harmony of life joins in ever flowing wonder
- Where loved ones are friends and friends are always true
- Where the light of God shines out, bright and true
- Where knights of old join hands and pray, and fight against injustice
- Where all in bravery and joy have a vision of peace, and the will to act

It is a secret place in our hearts, hidden behind misguided doors and dungeons of fear

Do you know this place?

- Where men and women are bonded in eternal love
- Where you and I, are We
- Where all are strong in bonds of love
- Where the light of day outshines the night
- Where suffering and hardship are taken lightly
- Where the strength within overcomes all fear
- Where the beauty of it all is our just reward

It is a secret place in our hearts, and souls, that expands in joy whenever it is found.

It is God's gift to all.

Healing Man

2007-03-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

I went to the doctor. For most of my life I have suffered from headaches. Now I am an expert on these.

There are the subtle ones that begin at the back of my head and slowly increase upwards and in intensity. The ones that go from my right eye heading inwards. And the one that gives notice when my hand begins to get numb and then bursts out into an almighty whopper.

Anyway, he is Cuban and has lived here a short while. He also studied in Russia and in China.

He is a simple man who has a mission and works toward it.

He is not a the typical Western doctor, with all the western science backed by chemical assistance.

He is, above all a healer and he looks at those he will help as a whole, as a complete person.

Everything is interconnected, and his special talent is finding where the connections are broken or weakened.

We had never spoken and met only there and then.

Xocé (pronounced Jose) asked me to lie down and put my arms above my head. He held my wrists and pulled two or three times lightly.

Above my right thigh, on the side of my belly I have emotional scars he says. They were caused by two men, my father and my brother.

I turned and looked at him in the eye. My father, the man I have most admired and loved, died when I was fourteen; my brother, my emotional twin, died when I was sixteen.

The session lasted an hour and there were many other thing that I accepted without question. I have a very developed third eye. When I asked him how to develop it further, he just repeated it is developed - I just have to practice, meditating.

He has a gift and he uses it to help those who are willing to be helped.

Xocé has given me a list of natural herbs and medicines, as well as a diet. We are what we eat.

My body will recover its natural harmony that has shifted its balance due to emotional battles, by guilt, by hurt, by life.

My spiritual and mental balance will also get into line.

Xocé, a healing man. You have a lovely name and you are a beautiful person.

Bugs and Things

2007-03-06T06:23:00.000-05:00

Some of our jungle photos:

The Centipede (the one that curls up and dies if you touch it):

The Legionnaire Ants (I have them on a short clip as well, but haven't the faintest idea how to post them):

This is an amazing shot of a Stick Insect:

A Spider, one of many.

Parenting Lessons

2007-03-05T05:10:00.000-05:00

With five children and nearly twenty years of marriage, I have come to realize that you do get to know your kids. You get to know how they act, how they think. The differences between each one.

Watching they way they react is fun in a way. Under the same circumstances they come up with completely different results.

But all in all this day to day experience does come with a learning curve. And after a time you find there are a few lessons you can pick up.

* Don't Jump to Conclusions. I love this one. It applies not only to your children and to your spouse, but to everyone. As for your children, you can easily jump to conclusions, because you know them, and they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. And then with a little research you find you have really put your foot into it. It wasn't Jane it was Joe.

* Don't Be Hasty. An easy way of looking at this is: Slow down, I'm in a hurry!

* Don't Judge. This is my all time favorite. Perhaps because I`m tempted to do this. It really makes a difference on your outlook, how you act or react, the outcome and above all the future relationship. If you judge a person, you have in effect closed the doors. Judgment implies a guilty / not guilty stance.

- Not guilty, which is far easier to live with, is an OK, a good mark. (But still implies the other went through a process where there was doubt).
- As for guilty, well, some sort of sentence will come forth. From forgiveness to outright life sentencing.
- With a little effort, based on awareness of one`s mental process, the end results of looking at the whole picture will have a better chance of positive results, with a long term relationship intact. In addition to that personal, long term view, this allows you to be much more objective. This objectivity, even if it sounds a contradiction in terms, allows for the personal approach as the decision making can take into account individual needs and impulses, without the emotional weight of a judgment.

Having said all that, there are moments when a parent reacts with what seems a contradiction to all the above. It is a fast reaction and appears impulsive. In actual fact, it can be an intuitive reaction. A parent's intuition, and notice this implies not only a woman's, but also a man's intuition (but that is a subject for another blog), is based on reading the signs very quickly, and most of these are the non verbal kind. This reading of the signs is contrasted with the knowing of the person.

And the point I am trying to make with a parent's intuition, is that:

* Don`t discard it. Look into it.
* If there is smoke, there is fire. If you as a parent, feel there is something wrong, it usually means you are reading the hidden signs. Trust your self and your feelings, then apply the don't jump to conclusions and don't judge rule.
* Once you have perceived the feeling, the intuition, review it consciously.

A couple of examples on intuition.
1. We felt something was going wrong with P., before having any kind o proof or knowledge. Amore, had the strong "intuition".
2. We recently had to make some choices with C., our middle child. I just didn't feel comfortable with the obvious one, but couldn't put why into words. We went with the obvious, and really messed it up. What did help though, is we were able to correct very quickly as I had my doubts previously so I was ready for a quick reaction.

So, in a nutshell: Trust your intuition, don't judge, don't jump to conclusions and slow down - you are in hurry.

Tips For A Successful Marriage

2007-03-01T09:37:00.000-05:00

Did you hear about the couple who have ten children and recently celebrated their fiftieth wedding anniversary?

When asked how they managed fifty years of marriage and with so many children, she answered that many years ago as a young couple they reached an agreement.

Whoever walked out on the marriage would take the children!

Another, a British couple, reached their eightieth anniversary. He was around 101 and she 98.

When asked for the secret of their success she said that they never went to sleep angry or without a goodnight kiss.

He, on the other hand, stated his secret. He always answered "Yes, dear".

There are a few lessons here, including the magic of humor.

And, as the second case shows, their ability to recognize, respect and enjoy the differences between the sexes - and living their compatibility to the fullest.