Virtual Panhandler

2011-02-14T09:02:00.000-08:00

Hey listen Man

2011-02-13T17:24:00.000-08:00

2011-02-13T16:49:00.001-08:00

They Love me in St. Louis

2010-12-11T18:40:00.000-08:00

Hey Thanks to everyone in the Lou for helping me out. I made it out without the TSA touching my junk. No thanks to the TSA... hey if some guy tries touching your junk in the airport say hey man my junk is sacred! If that doesn't work start screaming A STRANGER IS TRYING TO TOUCH ME!
St. Louis is now my favorite town.... they don't run me out like those A-holes in Portland.... Hey anyone got a buck twenty five?

Tsa wanted to touch my junk man

2010-11-24T10:29:00.000-08:00

Hey man can you help me out? I had a plane ticket then this dude tried to touch my junk. I said no man and they say they're gonna fine me 11 thousand dollars. Help me out man i need to get a bus ticket home and a lawyer.

Booted in Boston

2010-10-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

Hey man i was just trying to get few bucks to get my car fixed and they flagged and removed me in Boston.
This sucks what do i gotta do to get a little change? Help me out man? a few bucks in the paypal?

Kicked out of Denver

2010-10-08T15:22:00.000-07:00

Hey man I was just asking for same change on Denver's craigslist and they flagged and removed me man.... I was just asking for some change.
Maybe i should just start saying I'm from the central bank of Burkina Faso or telling people they just won the lottery..... Hey man c'mon I just need a little change... help me out.

Portland man....

2010-10-05T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hey man Portland's craiglist booted me again. I gotta get home man... help me out?
I was just hangin out there asking for some change and they just flagged and removed me.
I thought this was America man.... hey you got a buck fifty?

Change Man?

2010-09-28T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hey can you help me out? I need some more scissors and glue.

You are hypnotized

2010-06-11T21:10:00.000-07:00

yes now go and give some change

2 bucks for me?

2010-05-16T00:00:00.000-07:00

Look man some greeks are after my kingdom.... you got a few bucks so i can defend my country? Alright man im not really egyptian but i got a picture of someone pretending to be one... thats worth like five bucks right? help me out

arizona sucks man..... you got a dollar?

2010-04-29T21:11:00.000-07:00

Seriously man... How did the government of Arizona get taken over by a bunch of freaks... That governor...everyone that voted for her must be on crack..... hey anyone got a dollar?

you got my million dollars?

2010-04-12T20:27:00.000-07:00

hey man lots of people in Burkina Faso keep sending me emails saying they got millions for me. It never arrives. So hey man maybe they sent it to you by accident? If you did end up with it maybe you could just drop it in my paypal account? Ok so maybe you didn't get the money from the central African Bank but you got a few million in yer bank... you can send that too. So thanks man.

alchemicalmedia.com

RE: Sprint You Suck

2010-03-16T23:57:00.000-07:00

Hey there if you are the fans that posted comments on Sprint You Suck Give Me My Money....Thanks for taking the time to read my post. I love having fans. But what I don't love is crappy service and companies wasting my time. And that's what Sprint has given me crappy service and wasting my time. You know it took me over 5 hours to get sprint to cancel my account. That was a fun night. It was so cool. and you know what else is fun? Standing in line with the other irate sprint customers at the sprint store. It is the opinion of this blogger that sprint is possibly the worst company to deal with. It seems to me maybe they should spend less money on advertising and more on customer service and retention. But hey who am I? Not a business expert by any means but you know what I am an expert at? Identifying things that annoy me and things that waste my time and things that try to waste my money.....and i have identified sprint as one of those things....

stop treating customers like crap.

and hey anyone got a dollar? I need to get a cup of coffee...

welfare man got some change?

2010-01-14T07:20:00.000-08:00

Hey man i need sum stimulus.... you got welfare for bank exec bonuses where's mine man?

Ghost needs your help

2010-01-07T20:24:00.000-08:00

hey man i was contacted through a haunted photo

can you help out this ghost man?

New fan mail you got a dollar?

2009-12-26T21:30:00.000-08:00

So I was spangin craigslist and I met this fan... This is awesome
................................................................................................
From: Matt Brown
To:alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
(I'M leaving out all the email's that the sender left exposed in this email)
Sent: Mon, December 14, 2009 2:38:25 PM
Subject: Let ME Shop For YOU!

What We Have to Offer
CMC Industries Grocery Delivery

Tired of the grocery store lines? Could you use a little extra time in your day? If so, CMC Industries can help you with your needs. Give us your shopping list and we will pick your items up and deliver them right to your door for a small fee. Listed below are our fees:
Orders under $300.00 - $15.00
Orders over $300.00 - 5.5% of receipt total (ex. A receipt showing a total of $301.00 would be assessed a fee of 16.56)
Additional Grocery Store - $2.50 per store
Specialty store (ex. Best Buy, Walgreens etc.) - $4.75 per store
Liquor Store Pick-up - $6.50
Per mile charge - $0.40/mile ( total mileage during trip)
Simply email or call in your shopping list and instructions by 8pm and most orders will be filled the next day.
As of now we are trying to build a customer base before we go on full speed. If you or someone you know may be interested in our services or have any questions/comments, please don't hesitate to contact us at any time.
At this time we can only accept cash or check.
Hours of Operation: 8am-8pm Monday thru Saturday
Matthew Brown
mbrowncmc@hotmail.com
(903) 360-3251

Matthew Brown
(903)360-3251
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Date: Mon, 14 Dec 2009 13:18:53 -0800
From: alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
To: matty1988tjc@hotmail.com;

how about just giving me a dollar instead of the spam man...help me out with some change man? like Mccluhan(sp?) ssaid man the medium is the message....

http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Mon, December 14, 2009 6:43:10 PM
Subject: RE: Let ME Shop For YOU!

What? See dude heres the thing. Im a legit business. So dont assume its spam. disect the word assume and maybe you will see what one does when they assume. Thanks for wasting both your time and mine and maybe we can do business.

Matt
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/19/2009 4:38:33 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
yeah man we can do bizness mine works like this

I say hey man can you spare sum change and you say sure dude.... and then you go to
www.alchemicalmedia.com
and click enter then you will see a paypal button click on that and deposit 2 bucks alright awesome thanks man

THE OMMITTED REPLY CONTAINED A FILE ATTACHMENT MY RESPONSE FOLLOWS

Date: Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:19:56 -0800
From: alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
To: matty1988tjc@hotmail.com
thanks man but yer gonna have to paste yer message in the email text cant read it

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 1:50:51 PM
Subject: RE: Let ME Shop For YOU!

Are you crazy or are you actually special? I was under the impression that you are a proffesional what with a buisness email and whatnot. Do you own the buisiness? If no, who does? If you were my employee I would fire you if I found out you sent such emails filled with slang and gramatical incorrectness. Sum? Bizness? Come on man, are you 8 years old? And why would I give you two dollars? Are you that desperate? Also since you are obviously the business man of the century, do you have any advice on starting one? Id be grateful for any words of wisdom. Oh and next time please refer to this email if you need some spellings of words such as business. I hate reading illiteracy. Im sorry i have bothered you by trying to promote my business.Have an awesome day!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/19/2009 11:53:11 PM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
thanks man i guess i need help with my bizness could i get 20 bucks fer a dictionary man? wait make it fourty i wanna git a thesaurus too
http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 6:58:33 PM
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!

you are fuckin dumb man. im sorry i wasted my time with you. ---------- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone

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From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/20/2009 3:41:16 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
hey man thanks fer wastin the time maybe you can waste a buck fifty too?
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Matt Brown
To: Alchemical Media
Sent: Sat, December 19, 2009 11:40:45 PM
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!

ok one more question. what the hell would you do with a dollar fifty? buy a condom so you have less of a chance of bringing more of you into thr world? no seriously whats it for? ---------- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone
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From: Alchemical Media
Sent: 12/20/2009 5:20:10 AM
To: Matt Brown
Subject: Re: Let ME Shop For YOU!
probably buy a coffee in the morning.. you got some change?
http://www.alchemicalmedia.com/spangetheworld

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:MattBrown
To:AlchemicalMedia
Sent:Sun,December20,20092:18:39AM
Subject:Re:LetMEShopForYOU!

nice talkin yo ya idiot ---------- Sent from my Verizon Wireless Smartphone

From: Alchemical Media
To: Matt Brown
alright man well god bless you sure you dont got 3.50
http://www.alchemicalmedia.blogspot.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:MattBrown
To:alchemicalmedia@yahoo.com
Sent:Sun,December20,200911:54:25AM
Subject:RE:LetMEShopForYOU!

know what? you must want your business name smashed because i swear thats exactly what im gonna do if you send me one more email asking for money. You must not be making any money at all. Maybe its because your documentary is USELESS! If you have time to sit here and go back and forth with me like this then you dont need money to make a documentary. Get off your ASS and make it. Stop Begging. Go Fuck a Chicken. I Dont care. Nobody will give you money when they know all you do is sit on your ass and beg for money. Dont do it again man.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From:Alchemical Media
To: Matt Brown
thanks man sure you dont got 1.25 i need to get a bus

THE END (SO FAR....)

Cat trapped in haunted inter dimensional time warp needs help!

2009-12-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

this cat contacted me via its telepathic super powers
please help the cat.... please

The Gallery of failed attempt to get some change

2009-12-13T09:17:00.000-08:00

help me out mAN i NEEd sum ChaNge

dude

2009-12-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

look dude i aint got enough money to get into the show...you got 3 bucks man?
I gotta get cat food for my cat too man. and i need some change for a 7 inch man.

re-run you got some change?

2009-12-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

C'mon man this has to be worth a dollar. Help me out.

stop the war and give me some money man

2009-12-04T19:20:00.000-08:00

Hey man you got money to send 30 thousand more troops man? Keep them home and use the money to stimulate my economy man.... why is that there is isn't a correlation being drawn to a crashing economy a budget deficit and the most expensive war in history? Look man if you aint keepin track of the money I will or at least I'll keep track of five bucks... hey help me out man....

we need a mini van help

2009-12-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

You think you could help us man? we need a special mini vanto drive to soccer games...help us out man.

New Video! Got sum chanGe

2009-11-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

hey man this is worth a dollar help me out

Watch man and give me a dollar

2009-11-22T06:49:00.000-08:00

C'mon man this has to be worth a dollar. Help me out.