You Never Stop Learning

16 Reasons We Love Our Dogs

2012-08-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

If you haven't got the day off, think how much fun it's going to be to go home to your best bud.

Your Frenzied Friday will be rewarded.These people have all said it so well!
We love our dogs, don't we?
And there are good reasons for all that love...

(I promise to get to work on human behavior and behavioral styles on Monday).

1. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.
-Anonymous

2. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

3. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

4. There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

5. A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

6. The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

7. We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

8. Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

9. I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

10. A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

11. Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

12. If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

13. If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.
-Unknown

14. My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $2100 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

15. Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

16. Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

The five images come from:
Dogs1 petscareblog.com

Dogs2 bbjoseph.edublogs.org
Dogs3 fantom-xp.com
Dogs4 antom-xp.com
Dogs5 flashcoo.com

Go ahead: post your bud's picture!

It’s Time to Start Putting It All Together & I Need Your Help

2012-07-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today is a sort of test drive of material I'm preparing for the launch of the product I've been writing about for most of July. This isn't really a blog post as much as a web page that will introduce the product/service.

I'd be happy to have you put yourself in the place of a small business owner or an entrepreneur and let me know your reaction. MUCH appreciated.

As small business owners and entrepreneurs we’re consumed with social media connections, short and long- term plans, time-lines, organizational systems, tracking mechanisms and more.

And we certainly have some great customers, but wouldn't we love to have more?!?!?

What could still be missing from the toolbag that would help with ATTRACTING and RETAINING more clients?

Have you thought about the relationships you’re developing – or NOT developing – with current and potential clients?

What if you could WORK MORE POSITIVELY with clients and potential clients to…

Close more sales?
Save time so you can focus on the income producing activities?
Increase your bottom-line?
Develop valuable relationships?
Create long-lasting relationships?
Talk with clients in a way that appeals to them and gets results?

What if YOU could…

Get a grasp on your own tendencies and priorities?
Understand why you act the way you do?
Sleep better at night knowing you’re working with clients in ways that will strengthen the relationship?
Strengthen your bond with co-workers for better business outcomes?

What if you could develop a SUPPORT TEAM for your business that…

Would work together to grow the business?
Could better manage the inevitable conflict?
Value each others’ differences and develop mutual respect?
Work energetically toward common goals that you all share?

Relationships make all the difference in our business – you can accomplish all of the above with:

A Self-Study Program in Building Strong Business Relationships

This is a four part program that will IMPROVE YOUR SUCCESS and understanding of:

Your uniqueness and how to leverage it for positive outcomes

How others respond to you and why you get the reactions you do

How you can best approach others for long-lasting partnerships

How to strengthen your own skills and abilities in dealing with others

The Four Components to Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile
Self-Study Guide that supplements the profile, includes lesson, worksheets, planning docs and more
One-on-one coaching with Christine Mann – one free 30 minute consult to clarify your understandings, ask questions, plan for next steps
Online personal development system – ProStar Coach – that you’ll be able to access like a personal gym for 24/7 workouts in developing Personal Strengths and People Skills

Though we’ve spent nearly a month in the lessons of DiSC® styles, this program will take you much deeper, give you a chance to appreciate subtleties of behavior and make plans for handling some of your more difficult business relationships.

Learn more here and read a portion of the Self-Study Guide.

AND…hear what DISC® users say about this profiles’ effect on their growth – personally AND professionally.

Question for you:

What is your reaction to Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™?
   I'm looking for info on:
   Content
   The multi-faceted approach to learning
   Price ($197.00)
   And any other comments you care to offer!

THANK YOU

Tomorrow: How ProStar Coach complements DiSC® and takes your learning to a new level

Time Management - What's DiSC Got To Do With It?

2012-07-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

There are so many good blogs out there about Time Management that I certainly don't want to reinvent.

But since we've been discussing DiSC styles, I thought I'd add a few notes about each styles’ unique strengths in this area as well as some tips for getting a better grip on time.

Your Strengths

Fast-paced

Organized

Self-discipline

Goal-oriented

Planning

Areas for Improvement

Listening

Consistency

Attention to detail

Teamwork

Patience

Your Strengths

Fast-paced

Energetic

Desire to look good

Goal-oriented

Areas for Improvement

Self-discipline

Punctuality

Attention to detail

Tendency to over-commit

Your Strengths

Organized

Methodical

Systematic

Cooperative

Areas for Improvement

Sense of urgency

Learning to say “No”

Goal-oriented

Your Strengths

Organized

Accurate

Self-discipline

Orderly

Punctual

Areas for Improvement

Sense of urgency

Reduce procrastination over more detail

Perfectionism

Question for you: As we've studied behavior styles this month, have you identified some skills or behaviors you've like to improve upon? Over the next couple of days, we'll look at specific resources for doing just that.

image: salesforcetraining.com

Here’s the Smart Stuff About Styles- Part 2 of 2

2012-07-23T17:41:00.001-07:00

Today let's consider the S and C simple behavior adaptations for winning relationships.

“Treat Others As They’d Like to Be Treated” and see if you can’t make a difference in some relationships – personal OR professional.

This is People Reading 301: Adapting to Other Styles

Remember: simplicity and authenticity, not false behaviors

If you are a strong S try these simple adaptations:

To Interact with a “D”

Try to be more confident in your interactions.
Don’t be intimidated by the strong-willed and challenging “D.” Be prepared and respond just as strongly with the answers they want.

To Interact with an “i”

You may not like the “i’s” over-friendly, time-wasting attitude, but you should get along fairly well.

To Interact with an “S”

Again, you should get along fairly well. But remember that you, the “S,” will require lots of assurances. So try to come on as strongly and confidently as possible.

To Interact with a “C”

You should get along well with a “C” as long as you can confidently answer all questions, and firmly present necessary facts and figures. Don’t be intimidated by the “C’s” challenges and skepticism.

If you are a strong C try these simple adaptations:

To Interact with a “D”

Be careful! Don’t overwhelm a “D” with all those facts and figures. Just hit the high points. And try to muster confidence to present your ideas assertively.

To Interact with an “i”

Again, resist the urge to lay all the facts and figures on the “i.” Just hit the highlights and try to be as friendly as possible. Any innovative ideas you have will be accepted by the “I.”

To Interact with an “S”

You should get along fairly well with an “S”. Just don’t talk too fast, let an “S” take time to digest the facts you present. Talk about family and friends a little, and don’t be too pushy.

To Interact with a “C”

This should be your easiest interaction. You both should see eye-to-eye right from the start of the interaction.

You know I'd love to hear about any successes as you try these simple approaches!!

Tomorrow: How Your DiSC ® Style Impacts Your Time Management

image: studosfera.net

Here’s the Smart Stuff About Styles - Part 1 of 2

2012-07-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

“Treat Others As They’d Like to Be Treated” and see if you can’t make a difference in some relationships – personal OR professional. Everything this month has been leading up to this.

This is People Reading 301: Adapting to Other Styles

Remember: simplicity and authenticity,
not false behaviors

If You Are a strong D try these simple adaptations:

To Interact with a “D”

Be yourself. One “D” communicates with another “D” fairly well.

To Interact with an “i”

Be a little friendlier than usual, and not quite as business-like. You should get along easily with an “i.”

To Interact with an “S”

Slow down, present assurances, give more detail, be friendlier, give them a chance to digest facts, don’t overstress new and innovative items.

To Interact with a “C”

Present plenty of proof and facts, make sure all questions are answered, take it slower than usual, don’t be pushy or go too fast.

If You Are a strong i try these simple adaptations:

To Interact with a “D”

Don’t tell jokes or make small talk. Stay very business-like and don’t waste time.

To Interact with an “i”

You’ll have no trouble relating, but just remember to conduct some business.

To Interact with an “S”

Don’t become overly friendly until you’ve earned trust. Stick to facts and figures. An “S” will enjoy some socializing and small talk, but still needs lots of basic information in order to make decisions.

To Interact with a “C”

This could be your most challenging interaction. “C’s” are not impressed by storytelling, time-wasting, or socializing. Give facts, figures, and proof.

Tomorrow: Adaptations for S's and C's

image: heidimorton.net

Can You Spot the Clues to Another Style?

2012-07-22T18:33:00.002-07:00

Recognizing Other Styles is only important because it gives us an indicator of how to best approach someone (“treat others they’d like to be treated”) if we want to create a winning relationship.

We’ve studied Understand the Basic of Behavioral Styles which I consider People Reading 101.

People Reading 201 is Recognizing Other Styles - Link to a Bonus "Cheat Sheet" is below.

People Reading 301 is Adapting to Other Styles (tomorrow)

Here’s simple summary of signals people may give as to their preferred style - the challenge is to understand the basics in order to recognize the signs - then act on simple adaptations of your own.

D’s are:

Extroverted (though I’ve seen lots of introverted strong D’s – I think it’s believed that just because they’re dominant, D’s are extroverted – not necessarily so!)

Task Oriented
Direct
In Excesses: Impatient, aggressive
Needy for: Results/Control
The Emotion that may clue you to this style: Anger/short fuse

i’s are:

Extroverted
People Oriented
Indirect
In Excesses: Undisciplined, reactive
Needy for: Acceptance, is fun-loving
The Emotion that may clue you to this style: Optimism, enthusiasm

S’s are:

Introverted
People Oriented
Indirect
In Excesses: Possessive, unsure, wishy-washy
Needy for: Trust, security
The Emotion that may clue you to this style: Non-emotional

C's are
Introverted
Task Oriented
Direct
In Excesses: Critical, stuffy, slow to make decisions
Needy for: Logic, procedures, data, to be “right”
The Emotion that may clue you to this style: Fear of criticism

Get your FREE Bonus "Cheat Sheet" here

My-Never-To-Be-Forgotten—Oft-Repeated-Very-Important-Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Understanding the styles of DiSC® is NOT an opportunity to stereotype and refer to someone as a “D” (or i, S or C). We all have some of each style within our range of behaviors so it’s unfair and possibility offensive to call someone by their primary style indicator. And remember that DiSC® is focusing on a particular role in your life – circumstances and situations may cause a change in that role and a change in behaviors. So can styles change? YES! No stereotyping or labeling allowed.

Resources:
The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MN
ProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA

My Real-World Experience – all over the place!

DiSC Research Reports

What we’ve been talking about is the high-level view of

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

The program all entrepreneurs can use to develop strong client relationships

image: clipof.com

Let’s Test Your Understanding….

2012-07-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

We've looked at the outstanding characteristics of DiSC® styles, team strengths and value of each style to a team, those strengths carried too far and the basic fears that may drive each styles' behaviors. That's a lot of ground to have covered!

Now it's time to test yourself - can you match the descriptor below with the style it represents?

Needs Accuracy/Order
Needs Results/Control
Need Security/Stability
Needs People Involvement/Recognition
Quick-do it quicker!
Let’s have a good time and get the work done!
Prefers handling details, working alone
Enthusiastic/Sparks excitement in others
Very loyal to jobs & people
Impatient/Domineering
Conforming/Indecisive
Works for perfection

Answers at:

http://www.youneverstoplearning.com/disc-quiz-answers/

We've complete a significant section of Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ - the abbreviated version. Next week we'll continue with quick tips for recognizing other styles and simple behavioral adaptations for yourself to create more winning relationships.

Image: faculty.maxwell.syr.edu

Going to take a couple of days off to celebrate our wedding anniversary - we're taking a jet boat ride on the Snake River/Hell's Canyon - one of our very favorite things! See you next week.

Can Our Strengths Be Taken Too Far? Part 2 of 2

2012-07-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

OK, I’ll admit I’m finding this is a tough project to do at this bird's eye view (by blogging) without the interaction of a classroom – covering behavior styles and learning to understand yourself and others is typically a live classroom module with loads of interaction and learning. Subtlety and levels of detail are missing here that would illuminate distinctions and fine points of different styles. (Maybe you'll have to take your own profile - there's an idea!).

I want this to have value at the high-level view and I also hope you’ll go on to explore more about yourself and others – MY GREATEST FEAR is that it will appear rote - it’s not a matter of being an automaton in your approaches and response to others, it’s learning to:

Understand your own and others’ style for success in your business and life
Recognize what they would most appreciate in your approach
Then simply making a few adaptations of your own to create a winning outcome and a lasting relationship (if that’s what you’re looking for).

And it’s true that the deeper you go, the more you find in common with styles you may not have considered to be like you – we all have some (!! Almost everyone!!) of other styles in our makeup.

So let’s wrap up this segment of major characteristics of each style that I’ve been running since July 8 with the remainder of taking a strength too far - seriously overused - and creating a possible negative outcome.

S – Steadiness

As a strong S your basic fears are (and you behave in ways to negate this)

Loss of stability in relationships at home and at work

Loss of security, routine

When you go into “excess” (behaviors you may tend to overuse), you may come across to others as:

Wishy-washy, can’t make up your mind (you are slow to make decisions because you want to consider all the ramifications – for home and for work)

Avoiding dealing with a conflict situation, staying in a bad situation too long

Waiting for orders before acting

Not projecting a sense of urgency (I’ll repeat: you are slow to make decisions because you want to consider all the ramifications – for home and for work)

Too conforming

C – Conscientious

As a strong C your basic fear is (and you behave in ways to negate this)

Criticism of your work (if others do criticize, they’d better be right!)

When you go into “excess” (behaviors you may tend to overuse), others may see you as:

Picky

Judgmental

Too critical of yourself and everyone else

Stuffy

Suffering from analysis paralysis

Remember the DiSC® model and it becomes easier to see how styles can conflict. You can see how the more action-oriented D and i get impatient with the S and C, but you can also see the value of all four strong styles working together.

But don’t worry!

After tomorrow’s QUIZ, I’ll give you simple tips for recognizing other styles quickly AND for making those simple adaptations to your own behaviors to create the winning outcome you want!

Question for you today: If you are a strong S or C, can you identify a behavior of yours that you could/should take down from “excess”?

Tomorrow: The QUIZ! What have you learned?

I’ll close today with:

My-Never-To-Be-Forgotten-Oft-Repeated-Very-Important-Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Resources:
The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MN
ProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA
My Real-World Experience – all over the place!
DiSC Research Reports

What we’ve been talking about is the high-level view of

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

This is the program all entrepreneurs can use to develop strong client relationships

Overused image: electronicsketchbook.blogspot.com

Can Our Strengths Be Taken Too Far? Part 1 of 2

2012-07-16T21:02:00.001-07:00

It’s true that we all have great strengths that add to our successes personally and professionally. We’ve spent the postings on this blog since July 11 reviewing what those were.

But can there be too much of good thing? Sure ‘nuff! A strength taken too far can become an “excess” – just too much of a good thing.

Let’s consider the strong tendencies of the D and i in the DiSC® model.

If you’ve determined that you’re a strong D (Dominant), you know that means people see you being active, assertive, not necessarily subtle, strong-willed, possibly intimidating, aggressive, competitive, risk-taking, a fast mover, a REALLY fast mover! You persuade people by saying do it because I say so.

After all, you’re trying to get things done and produce results, aren’t’ you?

At times D behavior is driven by a basic fear (we’re back to the below-the-water-line influences on our observable actions) and will behave in ways to negate this.

D’s are often suspicious of others and don’t want:

· Any loss of control over your own destiny or the situation
· And you certainly don’t want to be taken advantage of.

If you’ve determined that you’re a strong i (Influencing), you know that means you show tendencies that are enthusiastic, persuasive, optimistic, people-oriented, involved with others, social, ready to work, but to enjoy it. You persuade people with excitement: let’s do it have a great time!

As with a D, i behavior is driven by a basic fear (once again the-below-the-water-line influences on our observable actions) and i's will behave in ways to negate this.

The i’s fear is rejection and loss of social approval

When a D or i is in "excess" - coming on with too much of something - consider likely reactions from the view-point of a strong S or C (Steadiness and Conscientious). They think:

Well, let's just say it! You D’s can be simply annoying! You come across as pushy, impatient, a really bad listener, no concern for necessary details, lacking in tact and diplomacy, harsh and well, domineering.

Strong i’s – you can appear to be irrationally impulsive, undisciplined, you place heart over mind, have difficulty planning and managing time, you’re inattentive to detail and go out of your way to avoid conflict and can be viewed as manipulative.

Hardy the way to win friends/clients and cultivate winning relationships, right?

That’s why Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ begins with:

Understanding the Basic Styles
Recognizing Other Styles
Adapting to Other Styles

In summary, it’s just not enough to “be myself” whatever the circumstances – if I want more winning relationships, I begin with understanding, recognizing and adapting my OWN behaviors.

Coming: Too Much of a Good Thing for S and C, clues for Recognizing Other Styles and great tips for Adapting to Others

Question for you today: Can you identify a behavior of yours that you could/should take down from "excess"?

Resources:

The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA My Real-World Experience – all over the place! DiSC Research Reports

What we’ve been talking about is the high-level view of

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -

A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

This is the program all entrepreneurs can use to develop strong client relationships

Images:

Too Much - minnesota.publicradio.org
Fear faucet - maria-alqobtia-newspaper.blogspot.com

Fabulous Blog Award Thanks

2012-07-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

I certainly want to thank Refreshingly Riki for the Fabulous Blog Award. She’s been one of the great finds in the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

The rules suggest I provide the following:

1. Thank the blogger who gave it to you and share the link back to the awarding blog - check out Riki's blog

2. Name 5 fabulous moments in your life

3. Name 5 things that you love

4. Name 5 things you hate

5. Pass the award to 5 deserving bloggers

Fabulous Fab moments in my life

1. Snowmobiling through Yellowstone in a January years ago – the place was nearly deserted, we rarely saw other riders on the 168 mile trip and it was spectacular in way you can never see in the summer trip.

2. Living aboard our 42’ Grand Banks trawler on the York River in Glouster Point, VA. Marina life was so much fun, so social, some of the greatest friends I’ve ever made and of course the boating in Tidewater Virginia and North Carolina and out to the Chesapeake Bay was extraordinary.

3. Living in Corolla, NC on the upper Outer Banks – how amazing in the winter, no tourists – hardly anyone but locals around, hayrides and toddies for the holidays, the Currituck Lighthouse beam seen for miles at night and splendid seclusion.

4. Becoming a mother to my husband’s grown son and then his wife – I missed all the tough growing-up-raising-kids years, but sure do like this new role.

5. Realizing last night that my husband and I are celebrating our THIRD wedding anniversary today! It always surprises us because we’ve been together for so many years – just sneaks up each July. We were perfectly fine with our living status until his grandson came along (I claim him too) and then it seemed important to all have the same name – good decision.

Five Things I Love

Time to read

Sunshine and the water

The mountains – the more remote the better

Time with family, not just the kids, but Mom, Dad, sisters and brother – we’re just too spread out around the country – wish we had an old homestead where we could gather

The Snake River jet boat rides – we’re going this week as our third anniversary celebration – it’s the deepest canyon in the US and wickedly wild country

Five Things I hate:

People who cut in line

Keeping up with my hair color

Those who answer their cell phones while I’m talking to them face to face

People who park in the left lane without passing anyone (riding with my mom one time, I got nervous about all the people who passed us on the right and commented that maybe she should be in the right lane – well!– shouldn’t I have known better?!?!? – she said, “I pay taxes that pay for this road! I’ll drive in any lane I want!” And she does.)

Not seeing my five year old grandson every day – his most recent “too-cute-for-words-comment” was last week on the phone, ”My mom has a baby in her tummy and I’m a frog with a fly in my tummy!” (Maybe you have to be the grandmother, but it was hysterical!)

Five Favorite Bloggers in this Challenge (I’ll break the rule and name more than five that I look forward to following.) In no particular order, I like reading:

Tammie and Alessa of http://www.carolinaheartstrings.com/ - just gorgeous

Celebrations: Roy A. Ackerman - always interesting reads

April Smith AdmnSuperwoman - excellent tips

Allison Crow - her inspiring attitude

Shawn Snyder of the Odd Couple Blog - common sense applied to marriage and life

Jackie Bledsoe Jr. - the whiteboard thought of the day and more

Thanks again for the Fabulous Blog Award

Image credits:
Yellowstone: winteryellowstone.com
Currituck Lighthouse: lighthousefriends.com
42’ Grand Banks: grand-banks-classic-42.yacht-spotting.com
Snake River jet boat ride: riverquestexcursions.com
Rose: polyvore.com

What Are Your Strongest Teamwork Muscles? Part 2 of 2

2012-07-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today's style focus: the strengths and muscle S and C bring to a team or a group.

These are the DiSC® styles in the Thoughtful, Moderate-Paced, Calm, Careful quadrants of the DiSC® model.

If you’re a strong S your value to the team or a group may be:

Great listener

Dependable team member

Provide solid implementation plan and see it through

Will help others first

Good at reconciling factions, calming and stabilizing them

Hard worker for team and cause

Will finish tasks assigned

These are the types of questions you’re likely to ask:

Is this fair for everyone affected?

Will it benefit all?

How can I help – I want to be of service

Is there more to do?

If you’re a strong C your value to the team or a group may be:

Organized, disciplined

Set the standards for the team

Keep the team honest with their objective thinking process

Perceptive, can see things other don’t

Ask the tough questions

These are the types of questions you’re likely to ask:

How does it work?

Who does what?

How will it impact us?

When….?

What…?

Where…?

Alternatives?

Process?

Question for you – the same as yesterday: Have you consciously appreciated what other styles bring to the success of a team?

Tomorrow: I mentioned that were some negative or "less-than-attractive” features to our behavioral tendencies. Sometimes a strength is so strong that it becomes excess and works against us. We’ll next look at those “excesses” and behaviors driven by our greatest fears.

My-Not-To-Be-Forgotten-Very-Important-Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Resources:
The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

What we’ve been talking about is the high-level view of

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -A Self-Study Program in Building StrongerRelationships

The program all entrepreneurs can use to develop strong client relationships

Flexed muscle image: inmagine.com

What Are Your Strongest Teamwork Muscles? Part 1 of 2

2012-07-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

Everyone who’s read this series has a pretty good idea of his or her own primary DiSC® style. True, we can go much deeper to understand self and others and we’re going to spend time on that for the remainder of the month.

Most of us like who we are (we’ll hit some negatives about ourselves in a couple of days! OH NO – it can’t be!)

That makes it a good time to outline the great strengths we each bring to a team or a group of people working together - what muscles do we flex and how do they enrich a team?

Some of us work alone, others have co-workers, but we all interact with people on a daily basis – many of them of different styles. So let’s think about what the muscles - the strengths - of each style are because it’s so easy to fall into the trap of preferring or surrounding ourselves with people who are most like us.

And that is a trap! Where does the creativity of different points of view, of challenges, of new ideas come from if we’re so happy with our circle of “self” – all of that could be missed. (OK, D's, this is where you have to admit that other styles ARE worthy and have value to a team!)

In general you could sum it up as:

D generates ideas

i promotes the idea

S supports and implements the idea

C ensures quality in process and results

A huge generalization, but think about the famous people highlighted in previous posts – some were from sitcoms and you saw all four styles represented – what a great team they made.

I don’t watch sitcoms so my examples are fairly dated. Let me admit – and don’t hold this against me – that I am hooked on Burn Notice [USA on Thursday nights] and I like watching those four characters represent the four DiSC styles and make an entertaining team - and they all have strong back up styles.

Michael = D

Sam = i

Maddy/Mom = S

Fiona = C

In my own family the four siblings are the four styles – it’s amazing to watch and fun to manage! It certainly gives me clues about what to do and not to do just for the fun of it!

Today we’ll look at the two styles in the Active, Self-Paced, Assertive and Bold quadrants of the DiSC model – D and i

If you’re a strong D your value to the team or a group may be:

Being a bottom line organizer
Challenging the status quo

Innovation

Initiating activity

Dealing with challenges/problems

Tenacity

Getting things done

You’ll ask these types of questions:

What’s in it for me?

Who’s in charge? (Shouldn't I be?)

Obstacles? Let's charge them!

Opportunities? What can we get out of this?

When do I get started? Let me at it!

A strong i - equally determined to get results - your value to the team or a groupmay be:

To articulate thoughts – your own and others - well

Sharing your can-do attitude

Enthusiasm

Making tasks fun

Motivating others - even charming others

Being a team player

Negotiating conflict

In a group, you’ll ask questions like these:

What about others’ opinions? Have we involved everyone?

Can we have some fun at the same time we do the work?

Can we keep our options open?

How can I be part of the action? I WANT to be involved!

Tomorrow we'll do the same with S and C.

Question for you: Have you consciously appreciated what other styles bring to the success of a team? Let me admit that at times I’ve been impatient with team work (high D boorish behavior on my part) because I’m not in sole charge. But when I force myself to slow down and apply what I know about dealing with others effectively, I always learn something and that’s my mantra: you never stop learning – apparently true for me!

My-Still-Very-Important-Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Resources:
The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

What we've been talking about is the high-level view of

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

Flexed muscle image: inmagine.com

Perfection is My Name and I’m a Strong C

2012-07-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Like strong D's in the DiSC model of styles, the C is task oriented. D’s like the big picture and dislike being bogged in detail, but C’s know there’s a necessity for detail - and correct detail at that.

So can you be a strong D and C? Oh, yes. Many entrepreneurs are just that combo because you have to be able to do both – vision/big picture AND manage the nitty-gritty to get there.

C in the DiSC model is for Conscientious.

C’s are perfectionists, you're objective, accurate and disciplined. You are also sensitive (!yes!), perceptive, patient and mature.

As a strong C, your emphasis is on quality, getting things done correctly (and let’s face it: no one else can really do as good a job as you can). You’re intolerant of sloppy work and can be your own worst critic.

Major characteristics of the strong C include:

Fact-finder

Accurate

Analytical

High Standards

Perfectionist

Methodical

Compliant (rules were NOT made to be broken)

Courteous

Restrained

Diplomatic

Sensitive

Evasive

Melancholic

Precise

Systematic

Conventional

Exacting

Patient

Conscientious

The strong C’s needs-driven behaviors are due to a quest for correctness and being right. (remember those below-the water-line influences?)

As a strong C you may have these tendencies…

· You are highly analytical

Make decisions by facts and logic

Data is critical

Ask the tough questions

Objective thinker

· You focus on excellence

Strong task orientation

Accurate, detail-oriented

Maintain high work standards

Do it right the first time (and you do believe you’re the only one who can do it right)

· You are sensitive and intuitive (this may seem surprising in light your tendency toward analytics, but you are very attuned to others)

Ask the right questions

Appreciate a business like-atmosphere

Good at giving feedback

Diplomatic

Are you a C in your tendencies?

Keep in mind:

1. That you may be different at home than you are in a business setting.

2. Your predominant behavior can change based on a situation; being responsible for a bottom line and being forced into accountability can increase your C behaviors.

Would you agree that these are famous C’s from our past?

Clint Eastwood (in real life)

Frazier & Niles (Frazier)

Fred Mertz (I Love Lucy)

Robert (Brother on Everybody Loves Raymond)

Bill Gates

Mr. Spock (Star Trek)

Jack Nicklaus

Diane Sawyer

Felix Unger

Question: What famous people can you identify as strong C? Do you have strong C’s in your life?

My-Still-Very-Important-Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Understanding the styles of DiSC® is NOT an opportunity to stereotype and refer to someone as a “D” (or i, S or C). We all have some of each style within our range of behaviors so it’s unfair and possibility offensive to call someone by their primary style indicator. And remember that DiSC® is focusing on a particular role in your life –circumstances and situations may cause a change in that role and a change in behaviors. So can styles change? YES! No stereotyping or labeling allowed.

Resources:
The Universal Language ÔDISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.
DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MN
ProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA
My Real-World Experience –all over the place!
DiSC Research Reports

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

Image: iheartshirts.com

Keep-It-Calm-Don't-Rock-the-Boat S’s

2012-07-13T06:38:00.000-07:00

DiSC Styles - we've looked at D and i, today is S...

Like strong i's, the S is people oriented. But D's drive S's crazy and vice versa! Why?

S in the DiSC model is for Steadiness - D's move way too fast and make too many changes without the thorough planning a strong S relies on. i's are so much better to work with say you strong S's.

S’s are easy-going, sincere, modest and great team players. You are terrific implementers (totally unlike D’s and i’s who hate detail).

S’s are peace-makers and people love to talk with a strong S because you’re such a good listener.

If you have a strong S orientation in your profile, you place a huge emphasis on relationships – work, family, friends. Most of your decisions are made slowly because you’re considering the consequences for all those relationships - will this be to my family or team's advantage? Let me think about it for a while.

If I walked into your strong S office, I’d find lots of family photos to look at (D’s have lost their pictures, i’s have misplaced the camera or phone and a C would need to know you very well before they’d share photos).

The DiSC Behaivor Model

The more pronounced your S is in the profile the harder you work to minimize conflict and get along with everyone as well as be of service.

Major characteristics of the strong S include:

Passive
Inactive
Team player
Reliable
Relaxed
Family oriented
Steady (don’t rock the boat)
Amiable
Systematic
Methodical
Loyal to people and to tasks
Trusting
Patient
Understanding
Good listener
Non-emotional - you give very little away with you facile expressions (unlike an i who shows it all on their face)
Slow to make changes
Complacent
Possessive
Non-demonstrative

The strong S’s needs-driven behaviors are due to a need for stability and security (remember those below-the water-line influences?)

As a strong S you may have these tendencies….

· Your are team and family oriented

Responsive, patient, relaxed

Work to maintain alignment, common goals

Good listener; combined with another’s logic, you can help others work through problems

Empathic

Peacemaker

· You are loyal

Strong emphasis on relationships

You like to maintain status quo

Minimize conflict

Trusting

· Your are a good implementer

Logical, step-by-step thinker

Consistent, good planner

Get tasks done by cooperating with others

Are you an S in behavioral tendencies?

Keep in mind:

1. That you may be different at home than you are in a business setting.

2. Your predominant behavior can change based on a situation; becoming part of a family can bring out more pronounced S tendencies in some people.

Would you agree that these are famous S’s from our past?

Larry King

Mr. Rogers

Tom Brokaw
Ethel Mertz (I Love Lucy)

Frank(Dad on Everybody Loves Raymond)

Mother Theresa

Gandhi

Danny Glover (Lethal Weapon)

Andy Taylor (of Mayberry) (Sorry to see Andy Griffith leave us)

Daphne (Frazier)

Question: What famous people can you identify as strong S? Do you have strong S’s in your life?

My Very Important Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on and relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Resources:
The Universal Language ÔDISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MN
ProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA

My Real-World Experience –all over the place!

DiSC Research Reports

Image: flickriver.com

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

The Fun-Loving Influencer

2012-07-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

i is for Influential in the DiSC model

i's are renowned for their love of life and enduring desire to have fun – after all, you should be able to have a good time doing just about anything, right?

Even if the work is tough, you're more like to cheer others on and inject some good times.

The catch is that i's are as bottom-line results-oriented as strong D’s, but they’re just so much more charming about it!

The DiSC Model

The more pronounced your i is in the profile the harder you work to influence others to your point of view

Major characteristics of the strong i may include:

Effusive	Self-promoting	Emotional	Trusting
Affable	Charming	Convincing	Optimistic
Influential	Personable	Gregarious	Sociable
Poised	Good mixer	Enthusiastic	Impulsive
Popular	Generous	Persuasive	Inspiring
Confident	Open-minded	Talkative	Cheerful

The strong i’s needs-driven behaviors are acceptance and social recognition
(remember those below-the water-line influences?)

As a strong i your tendencies may include....

· You are people oriented

Need to be involved with others

Good persuader - can sell ideas

Positive sense of humor

More people than task oriented

· You show emotion

Outgoing

High need for attention

Impulsive

· You are optimistic & harmonious

Motivate others toward goals

Look for the good in people and things

Trust willingly, forgive easily, you have difficulty reprimanding

Strive for harmony, can negotiate conflict

· You are creative

Can be ingenious in solving problems

Can look at issues with a different, fresh eye

Are you an i style in your tendenices?

Keep in mind:

1. That you may be different at home than you are in a business setting.

2. Your predominant behavior can change based on a situation; my i became much higher as corporate trainer – I was in education and very interested in influencing class participants. I have to mention that I'm rereading Gone With The Wind right now and was there ever a greater change in predominant styles than Scarlett O'Hara before and after the war?? She was an extremely strong i antebellum (acceptance and social recognition) and an very strong D (and C) post-war (bottom-line: make money!)

Would you agree that these are famous i's from our past?

Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy)
Jim Carey
Billy Crystal
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Roz (Frazier)
Raymond (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Carol Burnett
Jay Leno
Oprah Winfrey

Comic characters of:

Steve Martin
Robin Williams
Eddie Murphy

Question: What famous people can you identify as strong “i”?
Do you have strong i’s in your life?

Resources:
The Universal Language ÔDISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

Image: store.ournameisfun.com

Are you a results-oriented, bottom-line kind of person?

2012-07-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

If so, you may be a strong D kind of person

The DiSC Model

D represents Dominance

The more pronounced your D is in your profile, the more aggressively you tend to respond to problems and challenges

Major characteristics of the strong D include:

Direct	Inquisitive	Bold
Persistent	Forceful	Challenge-oriented
Domineering	Quick	Daring
Innovative	Aggressive	Impatient
Goal-oriented	Authoritative	Blunt
Responsible	Decisive	Problem-solver
Strong-willed	Power	Adventuresome

The strong D’s needs-driven behaviors are results and achievement(remember those below-the water-line influences?)

Is this sounding like you? Read on...

As a strong D these are your likely tendencies...

· You have a high ego-strength, strong self-confidence

Strong force of character and belief in yourself

Know who you are, what you’re about and where you’re going

Aggressive, often with assertive body language (take someone by the arm and walk with them while you talk)

· You are results oriented

Like direct answers

Like freedom from rules

Are a risk-taker

Desire change – often make it happen just to enjoy whatever is new!

· You are competitive

Want to win

Thrive on challenge and problems to be solved

· You tend to be impatient

Bottom liner, you may not be a good listener

Take action immediately

Do everything quickly

Are you a D? Keep in mind that you may be different at home than you are in a business setting - I've seen that many times.

Also keep in mind: your predominant behavior tendencies can change based on a situation. For instance...

My D became much higher as a branch manager because of my responsibility for business results and as an entrepreneur, it's very high. Still responsible for business results!

Would you agree that these are famous D's?

George Bush - post 9/11

Frank Sinatra

Martha Stewart

Michael Jordan

Charles Barkley

Katie Couric

Martin (Dad on Frazier)

Ricky Ricardo on (I Love Lucy)

James Bond

Madonna

Colin Powell

Judge Judy

Rush Limbaugh

Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry

Doris Roberts (Mom on Everybody Loves Raymond)

Question: What famous people can you identify as strong “D”?
Do you have strong D's in your life?

Resources:
The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

Check out the program designed to help you know yourself better
AND
to help with those pesky personality differences you experience

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ -
A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

What Tendencies Do You Bring to Your Success?

2012-07-10T07:30:00.000-07:00

What are the signals and clues we give as indicators of who we are and how we’d like to treated?

What's the best way to create a positive, productive and lasting relationship with a client or customer?

I'm going to recommend DiSC® - I use these profiles in all my coaching – why?

Every time I’ve used a DiSC® profile in a leadership class, the level of self-discovery is unbelievable.

People say:

This is so “me”!

Has someone been following me with a camera?

How else could all of these details be in here?!?

Did my spouse tell you all this??!!

These are great reactions – the accuracy of the profile is almost always

validated by the user’s response.

Most importantly, it worked for me the first time I was introduced to it. Short story: I had eight managers working for me in branch of a large corporation; my “ops” guy was great with money and figures and of course, I was responsible overall for the revenues, expenses and customer sat levels of my district. But every time he came into my office, loaded with ledgers and files, my eyes would glaze over and I’d say, “Just give me the bottom line.”

As you can imagine, there were hitches in our working relationship! I’d invited a corporate trainer in for our monthly professional dev series and he used DiSC profiles with us. Well! What a revelation!

I discovered I was a big picture person and Buddy was a major detail person. My behavior was very offensive to him, implying I had little interest in his work. Naturally, we reached a great compromise on how to handle the data mountain and became successful working partners.

It seems so obvious as I look back on it, but I desperately needed to understand something about myself AND others to make it all work.

So what is DiSC?

DiSC is a model of human behavior that helps people understand “why they do what they do.” The dimensions of Dominance, influencing, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness make up the DiSC model and interact with other factors to describe human behavior.

Originally created by Dr. William Marston at Columbia University and researched and updated by Dr. John Geier and Inscape Publishing at the University of Minnesota, the DiSC model and its training assessments and various other tools have helped over 35 million people in 20+ languages over the last 40 years.

DiSC is profile of YOU, providing a snapshot of your preferred behaviors in a given setting such as your business environment. It’s really a picture of you in a current situation.

You get detail on how likely you are to behave in specific environments and what strengths or weaknesses you’re likely to exhibit – you also begin to understand how others see you.

Some people are assertive or active; they want to shape or change their environment to better suit themselves. Others are more responsive; they tend to accept things as they are and try to do the best job possible within their environment. Using these four factors: task vs. people, assertive vs. responsive, we can place people into one of four quadrants.

A DiSC® profile is not a "test" – there are no "good profiles" or "bad profiles." DiSC® is a learning resource that helps people understand their behavioral tendencies and can help teams communicate more effectively and work together more cohesively.

Here's a quick overview of the four styles:

Dominance: Direct & Decisive
High D's are strong-willed, strong-minded people who like accepting challenges, taking action, and getting immediate results.
influence: Optimistic & Outgoing
High i's are "people people" who like participating in teams, sharing ideas, and energizing and entertaining others.

Steadiness: Sympathetic & Cooperative
High S's are helpful people who like working behind the scenes, performing in consistent and predictable ways, and being good listeners.

Conscientiousness: Concerned & Correct
High C's are sticklers for quality and like planning ahead, employing systematic approaches, and checking and re-checking for accuracy.

Can you see some potential for collaboration and conflict between styles?

We'll look at that in detail this week as each style is examined.

Please remember…

DiSC® isn't an exam; there are no "right" or "wrong" answers or styles –

DiSC® is...

A universal language of behavior & emotions that crosses cultures – it doesn’t belong to any one ethnicity

A description of how people approach problems, other people, pace and procedures

An observable language – the above-the-waterline-actions we can see

A neutral language - no right or wrong behaviors

DiSC® is not...

The total answer to work or personal situations

An indicator of yours or others’ intelligence or value

A measure of your or others’ skills, experience, education or training
The complete picture of any one individual

Tomorrow: D’s in Depth – their major characteristics, some famous D’s and more.

My Very Important Note: Discovering your behavioral style is intended to help you understand more about your impact on relationships with others and how you can use that information to improve or create strong and effective relationships – in your personal or professional world.

Resources:

The Universal Language Ô DISC, A Reference Manual, 1993, Target Training International, Ltd.

DiSC® Classic 2.0 Online Profile, Inscape Publishing, Minneapolis, MNProStar Coach, Performance Support Systems, Inc. Newport News, VA My Real-World Experience – all over the place!

DiSC Research Reports

Check out the program designed to help you know yourself better

AND

to help with those pesky personality differences you experience

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ - A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships

Icebergs and Our Behavior

2012-07-09T12:48:00.000-07:00

From our experiences, we each form a perception – a self-image - about who we are, how we behave and how others see us.

But is that self-image accurate? Do others see us as we see ourselves or as we believe we come across to others?

Simine Vazire, Ph.D., Washington University assistant professor of psychology in Arts & Sciences says,

"I think that it's important to really question this knee-jerk reaction that we are our own best experts," says Vazire. "Personality is not who you think you are, it's who you are. Some people think by definition that we are the experts on our personality because we get to write the story, but personality is not the story -- it's the reality. So, you do get to write your own story about how you think you are, and what you tell people about yourself, but there still is reality out there, and, guess what? Other people are going to see the reality, regardless of what story you believe."

[From her article: Others May Know Us Better Than We Know Ourselves,
published in ScienceDaily, Feb. 26, 2010]

It all begins with Getting To Know Yourself…and Others™ - (more on that below).

Think of an iceberg; we all know there is more to that iceberg than what we see on the surface of the water.

If you’re the iceberg, what’s seen on the surface is the observable you, the behaviors you display, the actions you take, the thoughts and ideas you express – these are all the above-the-water-line displays that tell the world who you are.

Where do the observable behaviors come from that give others clues to who we are and why we behave as we do?

Well, think of that mass of the iceberg under the surface that can’t be seen.

"The depth of a soul is not measured by what appears on the surface."

Others don’t SEE below the water line, but we’re all displaying above-the-water-line-behavior (“the depth of the soul”) that’s based on:

· How and where we grew up

· Genetic traits

· The values that were instilled in us and that we developed early in life creating a core personality

· Specific needs we have: emotional, spiritual, physical, intellectual, financial, etc. that influence how we behave

· Attitudes we’ve developed about people and things

· Significant events that influenced us

Our below-the-water-line-needs shape our values and beliefs, how we think and feel and that translates into above-the-water-line-behavior. We’re each an iceberg, full of the unseen that influences what others observe.

Over time, we think we’ve come to know ourselves pretty thoroughly – how we’ll react, how we’ll interact with others.

But occasionally there’s a surprise – even a shock; we receive a message that someone views us differently than we see ourselves and that can cause questions for ourselves to surface – we’re not coming across as we intend to or our style is rubbing someone else the wrong way. What to do about it?

Learn more about our own behaviors displayed to the world. As the saying goes:

He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.
Lao Tse

Basics of human behavior and the styles we’ll be looking at tomorrow are all part of a program - self study AND one-one-coaching - that is based on what we’ve taught in leadership development classes:

Getting to Know Yourself…and Others™ - A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships - it's a four part learning experience that will lead you to:

1. Discover your own preferred behaviors

2. Learn to recognize other peoples’ predominant behavior style

4. Focus on the specific People Skills and Personal Strengths that you want to develop for real effectiveness

Check it out here

Are You Familiar with the Platinum Rule?

2012-07-08T17:26:00.001-07:00

For the remainder of July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge, my posts are about our behavioral styles and how we can become more aware of own styles – as well as others’ - in order to strengthen business relationships.

Think about the people with whom you interact...
Have you ever wondered why...
You get the reaction or response from some of them that you do?

Do you find that….

You have friction with someone at work though you're both working for the same goals?

Some people get bogged down in detail and can't see the big picture?

Some people can only see the big picture and have no patience for detail!?

Some people can't keep up with the pace of change – they move slowly and deliberately – why?

Others seem to thrive on a fast pace and creating change?

Some people just can’t get down to business right away – they have to take the time to chat about the weekend?

Others have no time to chit-chat – they just want to get on with business and in fact, seem cold?

I could go on with "wonder why's", but you know the point...people are different! We behave differently, we're driven by varied needs...and we aren't going to change others, are we?

But we can surely change how we interact with others to get the best connection – create a strong relationship whether it’s at work, at home, in community activities -anyplace you interact with others and want to accomplish something together.

For me it starts with our Natural Behavior vs our Adapted Behavior.

When I'm behaving naturally, I'm doing:

· What is most comfortable for me

· What I feel like doing at the time

· What meets my needs

· My-take-me-as-I-am-routine

If I'm adapting my behavior, I'm potentially strengthening relationships by doing:

· What is most appropriate or effective with this business associate

· What I think is the best thing to do to connect with this person

· What meets the needs of the situation

· What will build trust & improve our teamwork

Of course, it’s important to be authentic, to be ourselves, but by understanding more about someone’s else’s behavior style, we can develop a strong relationship faster if we take into account THEIR behavior preferences.

Let me explain:

Yesterday’s article - Are We Wired to Live the Golden Rule? - by Denny Coates concluded with: “Isn't it wonderful that being a good person is a survival mechanism, a part of our biology? And that being a grumpy, nasty, self-serving jerk will eventually lead to your downfall?”

He was referring to the brain science behind the Golden Rule , which most of us grew up learning, recognizing as important – and trying to practice.

This basic approach of ethically and morally interacting with other people gives us an important guide to living life and building relationships.

Basically, it says:
Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Certainly, a most excellent rule to live by, but what if we go beyond golden to platinum? If you want to maximize relationships, consider the Platinum Rule©.

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

Treat others as they would like to be treated.

There’s a subtle difference here, isn’t there?

Now we’re talking about understanding how to best approach others so that the growing relationship can sincerely develop.

This means recognizing how YOU come across to other people (sometimes we get surprised here), but ALSO recognizing how THEY could best be approached: the Platinum Rule in action.

It's important to me to emphasize that this isn’t manipulation – that’s a technique many use and few appreciate.

This is about honestly acknowledging that we’re all different, that to build stronger relationships it’s a successful practice to knowledgeably adapt our behavior to someone whose style is very different from ourselves. After all, this is a connection we want to be successful.

In a business relationship it may be:

√ working toward common goals in an organization

√ a customer/supplier connection

√ a team leader/team member working together

Simple changes in our approaches to an associate doesn’t change who we are, it doesn’t in-authenticate us, but can indicate how smart we are in our ability to develop strong business relationships – it’s just good business. This isn’t about changing personalities or being insincere, it’s just considering how to better connect with others. Much more detail to come!

Tomorrow: I promised we’d look at icebergs in connection with this topic – so we’ll look at the above-the-water-line-behaviors and those below-the-water-line (what really drives us).

Images:

http://www.youngink.biz

crossstitch.about.com

Are We Wired to Live the Golden Rule? Let's ask Dr. Denny Coates - it's his title and article

2012-07-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

The Ultimate Blog Challenge for July is underway and with the holidays almost over, I'm finally ready to get down to business.

My focus this month will be on human behavior styles; I'll be extracting information from my program:

Getting to KnowYourself…and Others™ - A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships.

Early in the program I reference the Golden Rule - something many of us grew up with - and we'll see how we can even go beyond it to build stronger relationships in our professional lives.

To get our minds working in this direction, enjoy this fascinating article by Dr. Dennis Coates about science and "feeling or doing good" and the Golden Rule.

Don't be put off by the "neurons" in the title - it's good reading and Denny knows his stuff.

MirrorNeurons - Wired for the Golden Rule

Tomorrow we'll look at the Platinum Rule®, our natural behavioral tendencies and what effects they produce (perhaps as apposed to the effects we want to create).

Golden rule image:

callprobest.com

Our Uniqueness

2012-07-06T07:00:00.001-07:00

A beautiful thought for the end of the holiday week...and to begin our look at behavior styles beginning tomorrow.

We are not powerless specks of dust drifting around in the wind, blown by random destiny.

We are, each of us, like beautiful snowflakes- unique, and born for a specific
reason and purpose.

by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Not only is this beautiful and commonly understood, it ties into the series beginning tomorrow on human behavior styles; so this is good time to remind each of us of our amazing uniqueness and the snowflake analogy is apt.

Whatever we can learn about why we behave the way we do, it's vital to remember that we are each our own person; that we have a core that’s developed in early life and been influenced as we grow by environment, adults, other kids, values that were instilled and so much more. We’ll take a look this month….
image:

its.caltech.edu

Amazing Striped Icebergs

2012-07-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

July heat can make you want to cool down - how about this for cool? Icebergs in Antarctica.

This amazing set of photos comes from...I don't know where, but they are priceless. I loaded them to Pinterest right here - have a look and cool off.

When I begin my human behavior styles discussion next week, I'll be referring to icebergs again as they relate to human behavior, but for now it's just a pleasure to look at these and imagine what it must be to actually SEE them.
The notes from the photos say that icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions.

Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet
fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form.

When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can
freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a
green stripe.

Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up
when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

Truly amazing and something so few of us will see for real.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

2012-07-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

What a great day to celebrate - Happy 4th!

We think of so many American symbols and traditions on this date and one of them is the Statue of Liberty.

But how many of us have ever seen her represented this way?

Just imagine what it took to create the
HUMAN Statue of Liberty

This took place at Camp Dodge, Iowa

You're looking at a vintage 1918 photograph by Mole and Thomas that captures an aerial view of 18,000 enlisted men and officers forming a
'Human Statue of Liberty'

18,000 men!!!!

Eighteen thousand soldiers of the Camp Dodge, 163rd Depot Brigade formed the silhouette of the Statue of Liberty for the renowned photograph shot by Chicago, Illinois, photographers Mole and Thomas on August 22, 1918 at 2:30 p.m.

“COL. William Newman, commander of the 163rd Depot Brigade selected the statue of liberty as the formation for the brigade picture.” “COL. Rush S. Wells, Regimental Commander, had charge of the formation.” COL Newman was an 1892 graduate of the U.S. Military Academy.

“Beginning at 1:00 p.m. companies were assembled and by 2:30 the proper formation was completed and the photograph taken. The ground was marked out by blocks, in the shape of the statue, which facilitated getting the soldiers into correct formation. From the goddess’ feet to the tip of the torch the symbolical statue measured 499 yards. The picture was taken from a tower forty feet high, constructed for the occasion. On account of the mass formation and the heat twelve men fainted and were carried from the field.” The high temperature reported for the day was 94 degrees.

The photograph was taken with an 11" x 14" view camera following several day’s worth of work by the photographers to set up the image on the ground using thousands of yards of white tape. In addition, substantial coordination was required between the photographers and COL. Newman’s staff to ensure the various folds of the gown, the bible, the left hand, and the crown was properly
outlined by soldiers wearing white shirts. The design for the living picture was laid out on the drill ground at Camp Dodge, west of current building S 34 and Maintenance Road. “The large photographs were on sale for $1 at all the exchanges in the camp. Many soldiers sent the photo home to their families.

The layout at the reported 499 yards was nearly 5 times the length of the actual Statue of Liberty and the viewer will note that the correct perspective is maintained. The number of men in the various parts include: Flame of Torch – 12,000 men, Torch – 2,800, Right Arm – 1,200 men, Body, Head and balance of figure – 2,000 men.

Some have speculated that the soldiers in the photograph were members of the 88th Division who had been in training at Camp Dodge. This is erroneous as on August 16, 1918 all organizations of the Division were reported to have left Camp Dodge. The soldiers in the picture were members of the 163rd Depot Brigade under the command of COL Newman.

FACTS
Base to Shoulder: 150 feet
Right Arm: 340 feet
Widest part of arm holding torch: 12 1/2 feet
Right thumb: 35 feet
Thickest part of body: 29 feet
Left hand length: 30 feet
Face: 60 feet
Nose: 21 feet
Longest spike of head piece: 70 feet
Torch and flame combined: 980 feet
Number of men in flame of torch: 12,000
Number of men in torch: 2,800
Number of men in right arm: 1,200 Number of men in body, head and balance of figure only: 2,000

Total men: 18,000

See more amazing human-formations-becoming-famous-photos at:

http://americafyeah.com/2012/03/02/living-photos-formed-by-thousands-of-us-soldiers/

How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns?

2012-07-03T05:57:00.000-07:00

Did you ever wonder how many steps the guard takes during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns?

This is probably better posted on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day, but this is a very patriotic week in the US, and at Arlington, you are in the throes of patriotism.

I hope you’ve had the chance to walk through Arlington National Cemetery –
the entire site is overwhelming.

I was so fortunate to work with a man in my corporate life who was a retired master sergeant from the army – one of his postings included overseeing the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier (as it was known then) and I learned a lot from Pete. He helped me understand some of these impressive stats.

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns and why?

He takes 21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason

3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30." Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat
and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the
top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.

Among the notables buried at Arlington:

U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis

U.S. President William Howard Taft

Audie Murphy: The most decorated and honored American combat soldier from WW II.

U.S. Supreme Court justices Harry Blackmun, Thurgood Marshall, William O. Douglas and Potter Stewart

Robert F. Kennedy: Former U.S. Attorney General and United States Senator from New York

Ruth G. Bradley: A U.S. Army colonel and one of the most distinguished military women in history, with 34 medals.

Abner Doubleday: A Civil War general who is considered the man behind the game of baseball .

Glenn Miller: A U.S. Army major and the famous band leader.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

Engraved on the monument:

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

Interesting Note:

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC
evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknowns were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

More info about Arlington National Cemetery:

http://www.washingtondc-go.com/attractions/arlington-national-cemetery-facts.html

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/The-Battle-of-Arlington.html

Question for you: Have you been there and what was your reaction?

Do you have any idea where these old phrases came from?

2012-07-02T06:16:00.000-07:00

Everyday we hear or use - or try NOT to use - phrases that have become automatic in our language. But interestingly, they've been around a long time and they come from somewhere don’t they? And many of us couldn’t say how they originated. So here are illuminating history lessons about a few of those trite phrases.

√ They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".

√ But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...they "didn’t have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

√ Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

√ Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. (Did you SEE the Hatfields and the McCoys on History Channel??!!) Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

√ Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.

√ It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

√ There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

√ The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."

√ The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Therefore: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

√ In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added
things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much
meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the
pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

√ Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

√ Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so
for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

√ Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

√ Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone
walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

√ England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night - the graveyard shift - to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth...I suppose!

It all makes good sense when you put it in context.

Whoever said history was boring ! ! !

Question for you: Got any bits of history to share that tells us where a phrase we use all the time came from?

Images:
history1
youmustdosomethingnow.wordpress.com
history2
specsprice.blogspot.com

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1. Thank the blogger who gave it to you and share the link back to the awarding blog - check out Riki's blog

2. Name 5 fabulous moments in your life

3. Name 5 things that you love

4. Name 5 things you hate

5. Pass the award to 5 deserving bloggers

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Happy 4th of July!!!!

How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns?

Do you have any idea where these old phrases came from?

√ But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...they "didn’t have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

√ Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

√ Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.

√ It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

√ The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

√ Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

And that's the truth...I suppose!

It all makes good sense when you put it in context.

Whoever said history was boring ! ! !

Question for you: Got any bits of history to share that tells us where a phrase we use all the time came from?

√ The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."