Me

One Year Survivor

2007-02-14T06:51:00.000-05:00

I can still hear the sound of the rain that was pounding on the windows when I sat down to write my first blog entry. It seems appropriate now that as I write my last entry, it is quiet. I decided about two months ago that my last blog entry would be on the anniversary of my diagnosis. Here we are, one year later. I am officially a “One Year Cancer Survivor”.

I thought I would throw in another Q & A to help wrap things up.

Q – Am I cancer free?
A – Let’s hope so. My oncologist tells me that it will be ten years before we know if all the treatments worked. One down, nine to go.

Q – If I could change the events of the past year, would I?
A – Strangely enough, no. I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I think cancer is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. After the past year, I can say that life seems richer than ever before.

Q – If I had to do it all again, would I?
A – Yes, in a minute.

Q – What kind of testing or appointments will I have from here on in?
A - I will continue to see my oncologist every 9 weeks for the next 2 years. I will continue with my Herceptin infusions until June. I will be taking Tamoxifen for 5 years. I will have annual mammograms; the next one being February 23rd.

Q – Will I have my tattoos removed?
A - No. They’re a good reminder for me on how precious life is.

Q – Will I miss writing in my blog?
A – Yes, but seeing as things are getting back to normal, what would I write about? ‘Today I had soup for lunch. Andrew had a hockey game tonight. I baked cookies for Valentine’s Day.’ I’ll spare you from all those boring details.

Q – How will you know what’s happening to me?
A – Call me, e-mail me, drop by.

I have to take this last opportunity to thank all of you for ‘getting on the bus’. You were part of my therapy; you kept encouraging me and kept me moving forward. I will be forever grateful.

To Steve, who endured more than anyone, no words can ever describe how much you mean to me. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Thank you.

The end.

me

Fulltime

2007-02-12T20:44:00.000-05:00

Today I started back to work fulltime. I laugh because I had at doctor’s appointment at 2pm...so maybe tomorrow is my first official fulltime day. So far so good.

Friday I’ll be having and ECG and Echocardiogram to make sure all is well with my heart. I’ll be wearing a heart monitor for 48 hours so if you see me at wearing it you’ll know it’s not a new iPod.

me

1 in 9

2007-02-08T21:33:00.000-05:00

Today the doctor in genetics said, “I have good news, we did not find any mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2.” Translation…I did not inherit a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation and I will not pass one on to Andrew or Sean. The Lincoln’s and O’Bryan’s can have some relief that this mutation isn’t floating around our family. So I fall into the 90% pool of people who get cancer for environmental reasons. When you figure that 1 in 9 women will get breast cancer in their life, someone has to get it, and I guess my number was picked.

My next appointment today was with my radiologist. This was just a follow-up appointment. The doctor said that everything looked and felt good so she didn’t want to see me for a year. Although I’ll still have appointments with my oncologist every 9 weeks, it was strange to hear a doctor tell me that I wouldn’t see them for a year. During this process you lose the ability to think too far into the future. So it was like, ‘Wow, she thinks I’ll still be alive in a year…that’s awesome!’ As trivial as all that may seem, today it gave me huge sense of accomplishment, even more so than when I finished chemo or radiation. It makes me smile.

me

Remember

2007-02-04T19:06:00.000-05:00

This past week at work just seemed to fly by. I’m slowly starting to remember everything I used to do including my routine at home.

It was a year ago on February 2nd that I had the mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy then the wait to find out the test results. It was on my mind all week. I can remember every detail of that day as if it were yesterday. It’s amazing what I’ve learned in a year.

This week I will be seeing my radiologist for a check-up. I will also be meeting with one of the doctors in genetics…my test results are finally in. Remember the blood work they did for the tests??? That was back in May! As I said before, only about 5 - 10% of cancer is genetic; the rest is environmental. If my cancer is not genetic, it makes me wonder what I did or didn’t do, what I ate or what I touched or where I went that started those cells to go wacko in the first place. Perhaps we’ll never know.

me

Back to Work

2007-01-29T20:48:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day back to work. Rosemary did a wonderful job decorating my office with pink balloons and streamers. Many of the staff were wearing pink shirts and pink leis. I was surprised at the number of people who came to the office for cake. As you may have already guessed, my tears started to flow and I wasn’t able to say much more than, “Thank you for coming and read my speech tonight on the blog.”

So, thank you to everyone who took the time to come to Finance to welcome me back. It was nice to see so many smiling faces. I came to Western to go to school when I was 19 and I have never left. (The past five years have really flown by.) Western is like a second home to me.

It’s good to be home.

me

Disney

2007-01-27T11:50:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a trip. We all had a fantastic time at Disney. Everyday was packed full of fun from 9am to 10pm. This is Disney’s “Year of a Million Dreams”. As part of the celebration, at each park they randomly give out a lanyard with fastpasses (a fastpass allows you to get on the ride ahead of everyone else in line so the wait time for the ride is only a few minutes) to the most popular rides. Getting the lanyard at each park is just a matter of being in the right place at the right time. It turned out that in Animal Kingdom, MGM Studios and Epcot, we were in the right place and got the lanyard. The chances of getting just one lanyard is slim but three is unheard of! We were very lucky.

I can’t even begin to list all the great things we did and saw; the list is so long. I will say though that I managed to get Steve on the Tower of Terror (with a $100 bribe) and Mission: SPACE (orange team).

A special BIG thank you to Steve’s parents Bob and Carolyn who made it all possible.

We arrived home Thursday night and my appointment in Nuclear Medicine came all too early at 8:45am Friday morning. I had to have another Wall Motion Study to check effects of Herceptin on my heart.

I’m back to work on Monday…seems hard to believe. Andrew said, “If people ask you if you got a haircut, tell them you didn’t.” I asked what I should say. He said, “Tell them you had to take care of something.” I asked again what I should say if they asked what I had to take care of and he said, “Tell them to mind their own business.” I told him I was pretty sure that everyone knew I had cancer so everything would be fine.

Well, back to the unpacking and laundry.

me

The Secret is Out

2007-01-17T07:19:00.000-05:00

Let the fun begin!

The Letter

2007-01-16T09:25:00.000-05:00

A year ago I was standing in my closet trying to figure out what to wear to work…what was clean, what could pass as clean and what had to be ironed. So I was thinking, “Black pants, striped sweater, no, blue pants…I have cancer.” I was thrown by the thought but just kept getting ready for work. Here we are now January 2007, you know the rest.

To bring a happy ending to the last year, tomorrow we are going to Disney World with the kids and Steve’s parents. The best part is that the kids don’t know yet. They think tomorrow is another school day. Because Andrew and Sean LOVE to get mail, that’s how I decided we should tell them, in a letter at breakfast tomorrow morning. So here it is.

Dear Andrew and Sean,

We want you to know how proud we are of you both. You are two very special boys. You have made the past year easier on us as Mom gets rid of her cancer.

So, we are going to have a family celebration. There will be no school today or for the next eight days. After you have breakfast and get dressed, (don’t forget to brush your teeth) we will be going to the airport and flying to Florida to go to Disney World!

We love you so much. This will be the best vacation ever!

Love,
Mom and Dad
xoxo

Needless to say, they are going to freak out and we’ll have the video camera set up to catch it all.

me

Herceptin Infusion 10 of 18

2007-01-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

Today I was back at the Cancer Clinic to have my 10th Herceptin infusion. I ran into Colleen, who had had her 4th radiation appointment and was waiting to see her surgeon. She was able to hang out with me for my infusion; it was nice to have her company. This picture was taken at the Pink Party when we were both follicly challenged.

I’ve been keeping a hot flash diary this week as part of my follow-up appointment for the hot flash clinic on the 16th. So far I’m having 7 or 8 a day which is better than my experience before taking the Effexor. I’ve also noticed that the hot flashes aren’t as intense as they were before the Effexor.

Tonight I was at the running clinic where we moved up to 7 and 1’s ( 3 sets of 7 minutes of running followed by 1 minute of walking). I was amazed at how well I felt after the run. I guess doing my ‘homework’ paid off.

Off to bed now,
me

Haircut

2007-01-08T21:38:00.000-05:00

Ah...the sweet sound of scissors. I had my first real haircut today. My hairdresser Elias, even got his hair dryer out! Elias actually had to sweep the floor when he was done. He has all these plans about colouring my hair a mahogany colour at my next appointment. A year ago I probably would have nixed the idea but now he can colour it green for all I care; after being bald, I'll go for anything.

I've decided that I really need to get serious about getting some exercise so I've joined a running group. I thought I had joined the beginner group but it turns out I joined the 5km group by mistake. I told Steve and the boys when I got home. Andrew said, "Just quit." Steve turned to Andrew and said, "Mom doesn't quit anything." I laughed, but I guess it's true.

me

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T18:44:00.000-05:00

Day 3 of 2007...so far so good.

I'm still trying to figure out the side effects of Tamoxifen....nausea, fatigue, hot flashes. Hopefully they will subside once my body gets used to taking the medication.

I've started the process of getting things in order to go back to work. I've spoken to the insurance company and to Rehabilitation Services at UWO. Things seem to be running smoothly for my return at the end of the month.

With any luck, things should be back to normal soon.

me

Farewell 2006

2006-12-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

We have enjoyed a busy week at The Groves. Of course there was Christmas on Monday, then the Lincoln Christmas on Wednesday then Andrew’s hockey tournament for the rest of the week. The team made it to the finals where they lost when the other team scored to make it 5 to 4 with 28 seconds on the clock. It was a real nail biter.

Tonight the kids dined on McDonalds while Steve and I had a catered meal from Custom Cuisine. It was fabulous!!! We officially toasted the end of 2006. It was certainly an interesting year to say the least. I just wanted you all to know that the challenge of the past year was made easier by the many e-mails, phone calls, cards and visits from you all…they kept me going. I sat down the other day and re-read all of my cards…wow…I have a lot of friends and family!

Thank you to my parents who would do anything for us, at any time of day, no questions asked. Thank you to my brother, who gave me his St. Christopher’s medal (St. Christopher is the patron saint of travelers) to wear on the day I was diagnosed. It has kept me safe on this journey. Thank you to Andrew and Sean for being two happy, silly, crazy boys. A special thank you to Steve who has been there for me every step of the way from the tests, the appointments, the diagnosis, the chemo, the radiation, the ups and the downs. We are a good team.

Farewell 2006.

me

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T21:59:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

We had a great time today. Andrew was up at 5am but we managed to hold him off until 6:30am. Then, we woke up Sean to open our stockings and gifts. We all got some amazing things.

I hope everyone had a good day.

me

T'was the Night Before Christmas...

2006-12-24T16:44:00.000-05:00

That's what the calendar is telling me but it's hard to believe. Steve and the boys are outside golfing on the front lawn and someone down the street is flying a kite. I've just come back from doing some shopping. I promised myself some new clothes for when I go back to work so I thought I would take advantage of some of the Boxing Day sales that have already started.

I got my wish to have hair for Christmas. I've actually scheduled a hair appointment for the beginning of the year to even it out a bit.

Well, I better get the troops in for dinner.

Merry Christmas to all; and to all a goodnight.

me

Tamoxifen

2006-12-22T20:41:00.000-05:00

Today I had my Herceptin infusion; it was infusion number 9 of 18 so I’m half way there. I also had some blood work done today. Although my white cell count was low, everything looks to be in the acceptable levels. It was actually nice to be back at the Cancer Clinic today to see some familiar faces…the radiation technician, radiation receptionist, Cancer Society volunteers and countless others.

The main topics covered in my appointment with the nurse practitioner today were my return to work and Tamoxifen. I will be returning to work at UWO on January 29th. I will be working part-time for 2 weeks then hopefully I’ll be back fulltime in mid-February.

When the pathologist did the biopsy on my tumour, they found out that it was estrogen receptor positive. Basically the estrogen was promoting the growth of breast cancer cells by causing the cancer cells to divide and multiply. What the Tamoxifen will do is slow or stop the growth of cancer cells. I will likely stay on Tamoxifen, an oral pill taken daily, for two years. Once it has been confirmed that I am officially in menopause, I will probably switch to taking an aromatase inhibitor. The aromatase inhibitors block the conversion of aromatase, an enzyme pumped out by adrenal glands near the kidneys, into estrogen. In women who are premenopausal, the aromatase inhibitors may actually boost estrogen levels so that is why I can’t take them now. Like all medications, there are side effects to taking Tamoxifen. The most common being hot flashes (just when I thought I had that under control), nausea and weight gain. In reading an article about Tamoxifen, one woman said she gained 20 pounds while another gained 60lbs!!! %$*&!!! Less common side effects include bone pain, swelling at the tumour and blood clots.

That’s about all my brain can process for today. Take care.

me

Volume

2006-12-19T09:13:00.000-05:00

When my hair started to grow back, my dad kindly bought me a bottle of 'volumizing' shampoo. He is always asking if I have used it yet. So Dad, these pictures are for you. The shampoo really works as you can see from the before and after shots.

Thanks,

me

beyond

2006-12-15T13:19:00.000-05:00

Last night when I went out to buy some stamps for my Christmas cards (which are still not done), I quickly scanned the magazine racks. A bright pink magazine caught my eye…it was called ‘beyond’. I picked it up and noticed that this was the premier issue of a magazine focused on living and thriving after breast cancer. Needless to say, I bought it, and it is a magazine I will be reading from cover to cover. It’s amazing to have a magazine with articles such as, “Chemo Brain…It’s Not in Your Head”, “T & A… Tamoxifen or Aromatase Inhibitors…What Do You Really Know About These Wonder Drugs?” (not popular articles for Cosmo or People). It’s also sad that there are enough readers out there with breast cancer to warrant the creation of the magazine.

me

Snow Day

2006-12-09T11:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was planning to go to the university to attend a meeting I wanted to participate in. It was going to be my first real taste of work after many months away. Instead, the university was closed because of the all of the snow. Is this a coincidence or should I take it as a sign?!?

Yesterday when the kids found out that there was no school, they got dressed faster than any morning I can remember. They spent at least five hours outside playing in the snow. This photo is a picture of Andrew and Max, our neighbour, trying to build a fort out of the snow bank in the driveway while Sean, peeking over the top, had other plans.

me

Healing

2006-12-04T09:26:00.000-05:00

My appointments last week were uneventful as expected. You would think that I would be tired of going to the hospital by now but I actually find comfort in being there. I know so many of the staff there and they take care of me.

Now that the physical healing is well underway, it’s all about the mental healing now. I know that my prognosis is great but you know how the mind works. Every time I get an ache or pain, I have to remind myself that everyone has aches and pains…it doesn’t mean the cancer is back.

Last week Sean had his fifth birthday. How time flies.

me

Another Update

2006-11-29T09:46:00.000-05:00

I have been a little lax on my blog updates since I finished radiation, so here’s an update. I will be seeing the surgeon tomorrow for a follow-up appointment. I don’t except much to come out of this appointment but since I haven’t flashed anyone in awhile, I figure I’m due.

On Friday I will be back in the Cancer Clinic for a Herceptin infusion.

I’ve contacted the Genetics Department at the Cancer Clinic and my test results are still not finished. They took my blood in May!

My dose of Effexor was doubled which has helped with the hot flashes. I still get the hot flashes but they aren’t as intense so I am able to sleep better.

My skin is still peeling and healing from the radiation boosts.

That’s about it.

me

Peeling

2006-11-22T20:31:00.000-05:00

The radiologist was right when she said that my skin would get worse before it got better. I’ve been peeling in places that have never peeled before and the skin under my arm appears to be blistering. I’ve been given a prescription of Flamazine which in an antibiotic topical cream that they give to burn victims. I’m told that in another week or two, the skin should start to get back to normal.

Today I made a trip to the dentist that had been put off because it is not recommended that you have any dental work done while you are having cancer treatments. Actually, I made the trip down to St. Thomas yesterday to see my dentist. After I took my coat off and found a magazine to read, the receptionist called me and said, “You do realize your appointment is tomorrow.” I guess if I had to screw up any appointment, that was the best one to choose

me

Cartwheel

2006-11-15T20:44:00.000-05:00

Today was the end of another chapter. Radiation is finally done.

Steve came with me to my appointment today…it was nice to have some company. When I signed in with the ladies at the radiation reception desk, they asked me if I was going to do cartwheels since it was my last treatment. I said that I was hoping some confetti was going to fall from the ceiling when the radiation machine turned off. After the treatment was over and I was walking out to the change room, my brother was there with a dozen red roses. I have been lucky to have him close by for all my treatments since he works next door to the Cancer Clinic. After I changed out of my hospital gown, I went up to the ladies at the reception desk, tucked in my shirt and said, “Are you ready for my cartwheel?” They said they were only joking, but I wasn’t…you know how I love a challenge. They didn’t want me to hit someone in front of the Tim Horton’s so they followed me down the hall where I did my cartwheel. It was a satisfying end to a long process.

It seemed fitting to end radiation on the '15th'; I think Jamie had something to do that one.

me

Break

2006-11-13T16:49:00.000-05:00

Today I am thankful that the Cancer Clinic is closed to observe Rememberance Day. It was nice to have a break from going to the hospital. My skin appreciated the break too as some of the skin on my neck and under my arm is uncomforatably raw.

Two more days and the hardcore treatments will be done. It's hard to believe.

me

Today

2006-11-10T09:07:00.000-05:00

The purpose of the radiation boosts is to kill any cancer cells that may be lingering around the scar site. The radiation doesn’t have much of an affect to the on the first centimeter of skin, which is where they want the radiation to so it’s job, so they put a sheet of thick rubber over my scar to act as the first centimeter of tissue. That way, the radiation will be focused on the superficial area of my skin, where it’s needed. The attachment that they put on the radiation machine comes about 1cm away from my scar. In order to have the machine line up parallel to my scar, they have me lay on my side with a pillow between my legs, a foam wedge to support my back and my arm over my head. At times I feel like a contortionist. Anyway, three more to go. Today I will also be in the chemo suite to have another infusion of Herceptin; this will be number 5 of 17.

Have a good weekend,

me

Sunburn

2006-11-07T16:39:00.000-05:00

Today was radiation appointment number 25...5 more to go.

Now I know what it's like to get a sunburn from sunbathing topless. Not that I was ever that curious before, but now I know. I don't recommend it.

me