Creating Space For Being

"Financial Recovery" by Karen McCall

2014-01-08T12:16:00.001-05:00

I've read my share of financial nerd books, and still curiously pick up new titles. The ones that peeve me MOST are too simplistic (build wealth in 90 days!) , or pretend you can be your own financial advisor (financial DIY is not for the faint of heart).

That said, this book fills gaps I haven't seen before as it delves into desires, income gap, and serious debt. This is not a book for messy over-spenders who need a written budget. This is a book that deals with behavior and desire, or "financial dis-ease".

Seems pretty relevant to today's main stream America. Come to think of it, I'm not sure when was the last time I read one like this. Am I missing out?

I want to understand my relationship with money, the heart and soul of how now and my hope for wise future decisions. Has anyone helped you with this relationship?

Living in the Now: Epiphany

2014-01-08T11:37:00.001-05:00

On the 13th day of Christmas, we celebrate Epiphany. This is a sweet holiday for me, and the "rest of us" coming to the Light.

It's also the day we take down our Christmas decorations, which have only been up since Christmas Eve. How does anyone keep theirs up for the whole month of December? Or even since THANKSGIVING? Boy, I was already tired of Christmas.

Returning to normal is such a relief, even if that requires defining a new normal in the new year. When does this happen for you?

I hope it is not too irreverent, but we also have a traditional Epiphany meal of chicken curry. It seems possible that the wise men might have liked their curry, and a little heat in the dead of winter goes a long way. This is usually a shared dish with our Epiphany practicing family, with prayers for the new year, but this year we were all home bound with severe cold weather.

How is your new chapter beginning this year?

Practically Speaking: Christmas brain dump

2013-12-27T12:01:00.001-05:00

A few days post Christmas, I try to do a quick brain dump. I will read it for next year. Going with my gut, I set the timer for 10 minutes, make a quick list of what worked, what didn't work, what seemed to be worth repeating, and mistakes not to be recommitted. It helps to look at all the lists I made over the past few weeks, and even staple those to the brain dump (gift lists, meal plans, etc.)

I shove this brain dump in my 3 ring holiday binder and glance through it come Halloween each year. Do you do something similar? I'm thinking about dropping it all in Evernote. Gasp. Suggestions?

Some good I liked this year:

We sat down for Christmas Eve dinner. We ate on my mom's old china, a first for us.

We played Pandora stations until we were sick of Christmas music. Jackson learned many new songs. That makes my sentimental heart happy.

after the Christmas Eve church service, we decorated and strung lights without fights. How did that happen?! Probably because we ate first.

We set aside quiet for us. Yes.

Remembering the poor, lonely, orphaned, and strangers in the land. Giving to them is a practice of love.

Some things I wouldn't do again:

Make so many gifts so close to Christmas. It's not like they have a shelf life.

Neglect time teaching Jackson to be a giver. We helped him create and give some gifts, but not as many as I hoped. I know he is just 7 years old, but he had some concerning "give me" moments.

Budget poorly. We did not overspend, did not use credit cards, and stuck to the budget. But there was no wiggle room and This gave me a lot of gray hair. Good budgeting needs breathing space.

Remember, reflect.

A new book

2013-12-27T09:15:00.001-05:00

This is a new chapter. Or maybe a new book altogether. This conversation has been silent for a long, often disorienting period. I need to pick it back up as a simple discipline of humility, a practice in seeing the transforming work of my walk with God. Hopefully, this will give you some space to ponder and walk in worship. Like all reasonable people, let's start with a cup of coffee.

Reconnecting with Eyes Wide Open

2012-08-06T11:36:00.000-04:00

Its been awhile. One of those seasons when I look around and think, Has it only been a few weeks? How many miles have been trod. God can transform and move so much that my sense of time is disproportionate.

What about you? Where have you been journeying, traveling, or seeing God? How has your relationship been transformed?

Big eye openers in the last few weeks:

1. Parts of me have been dying to my true self; those little parts that I've given up. God's breathing life back into them. THANK GOD.

2. Learning to ask God to breathe life into my dead and dying parts.

3. Dreaming bigger. I'm shocked to see the ways I've let go of my dreams.

4. Having the eyes to see the journey God is leading. Seeing His fingerprints.

5. Surprised to find I have little tolerance for unhealthy patterns. Not sure if this is good. Poor family; must be shocking.

Are you changing? How do you embrace change?

Practically Speaking: 13 Reasons I Choose Kroger

2012-06-15T06:00:00.000-04:00

If you're around me for a few conversations, you'll know I'm a die hard Kroger shopper. Here's the short version why:

Simple "ALT ID" at check out. Silly enough, its a relief to merely punch in my phone number instead of digging for my loyalty card. Plus, this is an easy method for everyone in our house to centralizing all our loyalty points, and cash in at the gas pump.
Online, digital coupons that load to my loyalty card. The only grocery store in my area that lets me pre-load digitally. I keep my card loaded with items I might buy. When I swipe my loyalty card, or enter my "ALT ID" at check out, these digital coupons are automatically calculated in my transaction.
Straight-forward coupon policy. I love a short list. One of the best coupon options in the area. Worth mastering.
Generic of generic products. I'm a deal-seeker, ya know, and I'm not afraid to buy generic. Kroger has a high end, mid end, and low end generic products. Remember when there used to be a "white aisle" of generic labeled items? They now have generic white label options for most of their products. Great option for savings when I'm not carrying coupons.
Clearance labels brightly marked in ORANGE. All clearance items are a bright orange label on the item, or a plain white tag if on the shelf. Not only is it marked "clearance", but the original price and clearance price are both marked for comparison. Some stores mark items as "clearance" that are a mere 10% marked down. Not in my world! Kroger clearance is at least 50% off.
Clearance section. Not all locations have this feature, but mine does. A whole clearance section is a great place to start my shopping!
Sub-price. All price tags, even sale tags, clearly show the price per ___ (ounce, pound, item, set, etc.). This makes for quick, accurate price comparisons.
Nicest clerks. My favorite clerks and I have great conversations. They still offer to help me to the car, and often I take them up on it. They've been there for decades and still love their job.
Convience. Fortunately for me, there is a Kroger in my path nearly every direction I head. Even better, most now have neighboring Kroger gas stations. I believe in shopping conveniently to save time, money, effort, and energy.
Fuel points. We're frugal with our grocery purchases, and we still get a discount each time we pump up. Hold on to your fuel points until you have maximized your savings.
Shelves are always stocked. There are a few unnamed chains in the area that cannot make this claim. No names mentioned. My drive for efficiency and limited interest in shopping makes this a high priority.
Produce is excellent. Again, not all chains can make this claim. My Kroger can.
Free treats for the kids. Of course, the Krogering stickers. Sometimes suckers. I'm a sucker for freebies.

Practically Speaking: Juggling 5 Areas of Eating Better

2012-06-08T06:30:00.000-04:00

Approaching the table and eating well is a big undertaking. The hours involved gathering supplies, the brain power invested in making solid plans, are challenging. We all consider these challenges, no matter the number of mouths.

While I often find the process satisfying, it can also feel like the plan that never ends. There's that nagging feeling knowing I could have done more, or done "better". At best, I can only juggle three or four of these areas, but it has been a rare, single day--or hour!--when I could juggle them all.

Give yourself space for this limitation, and take on only what you can do well. Let me know short cuts that let you invest in these areas. On a normal day, how many areas can you juggle? When do you reach your limit? How do you find peace, and let enough be enough?

Buying local produce: regularly visiting farmer markets, supporting local business (East TN farmer market directory here); eat seasonally.
Buying organic: either some or all of your purchases are organic (economical tips here); remember the "Dirty Dozen".
Buying in bulk: grain co-ops, Bulk Herb Store, Vitacost, or splitting warehouse purchases with friends.
Grow your own: cheap, but requires sweat investment; takes creative alternative planning for small spaces (think vertical); minimal time investment.
Cook from scratch: varying extremes, from making your own ketchup to making your own bread to making your own yogurt; control preservatives, sugar, and food colorings that are in your food.

Living in the Now: Worthy Meal Shortcuts

2012-06-06T06:30:00.000-04:00

"If anything is worth doing, it is worth doing badly."

G. K. Chesterton

Eating together as a family, even a single meal a day, has fallen to a rare normal. A mere 27% of families eating together, only eat, drink, and converse at meal time (listen to Les and Leslie Parrot talk about this sobering pattern). Eating purposefully, together, and regularly is indeed worth doing, but admittedly, sometimes needs a few shortcuts. Create space to mealtimes. Give these a try. Be realistic. Suggest a few of your own shortcuts in the comments below:

Use paper plates. Try fun colors or paper party plates. Special touch for sabbath family meals. Easier for you, you'll also win eager eaters.
Try frozen entrees. A reheated lasagna and fresh salad is a cinch to prepare, and is a step above frozen pizza.
Prepare two, freeze one. If you go to all the trouble of preparing a meal, save yourself some work by preparing double, and freezing half for a future meal.
Rotate helpers. Even middle schoolers can make a pot of mac and cheese and throw in some tuna and veggies for a one pot wonder. To simplify, assign a specialty meal for each helper to prepare on their meal night.
KISS. Keep it Simple, Silly! Have a regular finger food night that is simple to prepare and fun to eat. Find a hummus recipe you like. Dip veggies and bread. Easy to make ahead and serve in a moment!
Commit to 15 mealtime minutes. Be realistic. An average week night meal need not carry the pressure of a long drawn out ritual. Focus on sweet and prompt times together. You will be more likely to connect regularly if you set a reasonable goal.
Think outside the norm. Instead of family dinner time, try Saturday morning pancakes or Sunday pizza parties. Spending a family meal together is most important.

Practically Speaking: 5 Reactions & Secrets to Couponing

2012-06-01T18:34:00.000-04:00

Do you coupon? What's your strongest reaction to the idea? Coupons bring strong feelings to the surface:

Thrill: moving in for the kill. The wide-eyed wonder of watching your bottom line disappear, pennies at a time. Its you against the cash register.
Dread: the overwhelming work of it all. The job is mundane, repetitive, and could make a sane woman loose her mind.
Guilt: mostly when you pay full price. Once you're hooked, its hard to walk away from clipping your paper money.
Relief: stretching a tight budget even further. Empowering to make your dollar work.
Embarrassment: be honest, some folks judge. Plus, some don't want to shop next to your tedious pace, nor get in line behind you at the cash register (solution: shop on senior discount days; you're more their pace).

I confess, I do coupon. These are 5 feelings I experience every single cycle of clipping and shopping. Couponing is not my hobby. I have never tried "extreme couponing" In my little world, couponing is a necessity, and dare I say, a spiritual discipline. Frugality, simplicity, stewardship, and all that. On an average grocery trip, I "make" about $30/hour (including research, clipping, shopping, and putting groceries away). That's good enough for now.

Can you share any couponing secrets in the comments? I need a few new ideas. Planning gives me the peace of mind to be fully present for the task at hand, and not fully consumed. Planning is freedom of heart. A few secrets I've learned:

Shop at your favorite store every time. You'll know the prices, where to find items, and you will learn the coupon policies.
Follow Coupon Mom. Her book is sharp, her research spot on. Get on the weekly email alerts. Print the weekly database price sheets for your favorite store, and shop based on what is a good deal.
Focus on a single product. Commit to clipping and watching sales on laundry products only, or maybe meat, dairy, or beauty products. Truthfully, I can't do it all. But, I can handle one area.
Dual ink your grocery list (uh-oh, my anal side is showing....). Sometimes, a sale price is not the actual shelf price. Girl, don't buy it if its not on sale AND you have a coupon! Instead of sorting coupons in the aisle and deciding if it is a good price, I pull all coupons at home, based on Coupon Mom's weekly database. My grocery item is written black for a normal, non-coupon item, and blue for a coupon item with the sale price. Double check your research! If it ain't a good deal, or the manager adjusted the sale price, keep walking. Before stepping up to the cash register, sort your coupons one last time.

Living in the Now: Food Swap

2012-05-31T17:52:00.001-04:00

Pondering the soulful knitting between eating and being, I wanted to hear how you handle the daily logistics of good eating. My little rut-full system always needs updates and fresh ideas. Especially, have you:

jumped on the once a month cooking bandwagon, shopping and prepping a whole month's worth at a time to simplify your routine?
found a fabulous frozen entree (not that I would ever serve it to you, but sometime I want a night off)?
found a good rhythm for favorite meal rotations?
stashed your favorite staples in the pantry?
juggled dietary restrictions for the whole family without driving anyone crazy?

Your ideas will help me, and maybe save my little family a bit of peace!

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 3

2012-05-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom. She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 3 is my favorite, uniting our sisterhood of women. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you. I'll let her tell you the story herself:

As I age, I realize how important it is to be in community with other women, walk alongside each other, bear each other’s burdens, share the joys in the ebb and flow of life. I have had the amazing opportunity to have friends that are willing to be transparent with me, to allow who I am to be accepted, and to walk together still. We are refined and strengthened by our struggles, and our trials. Our laughter and joys are multiplied when we share them (women can have so much fun together!).

I encourage women to be real with each other, to get together and work together, to love each other’s children, to serve each other, talk about what we are learning, to encourage each other in the challenges, help to provide needs. There is a richness in working together. We need to encourage each other not to be tempted to pretend we are someone we aren’t.

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 2

2012-05-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom. She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 2 gives you a glimpse of our average--but most meaningful--practical, daily moments. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you. I'll let her tell you the story herself:

Some super practical, totally true favorite moments we spent with Mom.

We are on a journey together, whether young or grown, dealing with the truth of our hearts. Our hearts are the wellspring of life. God desires our hearts to be devoted to Him. Loving isn’t all about us, but is all about others and the Lord. He gives us the greatest joy in this process.

I believe that caring for children, nurturing them to adulthood, is a precious journey. Some seasons are full of trials, others are more smooth sailing. I’ve learned to grasp the joy in a moment. I can be impulsive, spontaneous. If the day was pretty and I could we’d grab an opportunity. If it was cold and cloudy, we’d grab another. Many times, it depended on my mood (sorry kids).

Each year in the fall, after a hard freeze, the trees really let go of their leaves. On the first windy, sunny, cool day after, we’d grab the cast iron skillet, some bacon and potatoes, and head to make a fire in the back yard. I’d send some kids to search for wild onions while getting a fire going with others. Then we’d lay in the yard on our backs, watching the leaves fall, while smelling our feast cooking. Sometimes we’d talk, other times, just peaceful quiet. (as the boys got older…we had more ‘interesting’ times around the fire, but that is another story)

We’d go to the library often. Then come home with our stacks of treasures, I mean books. We’d sit in the living room around the woodstove, with everybody content to be in their own world.

Other times, we’d read chapter books together around that woodstove, drinking hot tea from the kettle on top. It gave me time to rest and feed an infant while snuggling with my older kids. If we didn’t have a fire, we’d light a candle. Fidgety children would draw pictures or fall asleep. It was peaceful, and we enjoyed a lot of stories together (I do like a good story).

A blessing in disguise, we didn’t have very good reception on our TV, so we watched other things a lot…sitting on the front porch watching a storm roll in, huddling around a closet watching a litter of kittens being born, watching baby chicks scurry to see who can get the grasshopper first (one of our favorite things to watch!), fireflies, the flame of a fire, all very peaceful and better than any TV show, in my opinion.

We’d head out for walks together on foot, or taking turns on our patient pony. That led to some good conversation, or comfortable quiet together. We’d camp on our property (lots easier than going away!), play board games, look through old photos and home videos, and play lots and lots of games.

We’d head to the lake to swim. Swimming is one of my favorite things, so I’d drag the kids along whether they liked it or not. We’d catch all kinds of living critters, ride in the canoe, and bring junk food for picnics.

Sometimes we’d just get the urge to make a big batch of pudding for supper…skip the main dish and go straight for the desert. And every Sunday evening we were home, we’d make lots of popcorn for supper.

Things I wish I had done: Listen to their hearts more, draw them out, ask questions about what they were thinking, what they loved, etc. Spend purposeful time with one child on a regular basis. Cherished one child.

Somewhere in there, some of the kids grew up, finished their education, and are on their own now. They know my failures well. Thankfully, they don’t expect me to be perfect.

We need to share our failures with them, to be vulnerable and human. Help model before them what is real, not what is in the magazines or TV shows. Real humanity, real sin, a real need for forgiveness. When we mess up, admit it and apologize, learn from each other’s mistakes, humility and forgiveness. They learn from our example, not our perceived perfection. Laugh, play, work, cherish.

In the picture of reality of our home, there was bickering, dirt, messes, chaos, endless dirty laundry, a never ending to do list, strife. But more than that, the laughter, family, friends, working and playing together, a bottomless amount of love, loyalty, forgiveness, balances it very well. It is on this journey of life that God does His work in our hearts. I’ve learned to be real, to give myself permission to be human (with my gifts and shortcomings), to stand with someone who is struggling, have people stand by me, to choose to see God’s many blessings, and enjoy them. To teach my children about deeper things of the heart. It is because of our humanity that Christ died for us.

The most important thing to me is to show my children that God loves us as we are, He redeems us. The striving can cease. We don’t have to get cleaned up before coming to him. We don’t have to ‘be’ anything else but who He has made us to be. I want to teach my children that to love the Lord isn’t to be perfect, but to follow Him.

I believe that we need to know that we can fail and be loved. I think our children need to know this too. That their value isn’t what they ‘do,’ it is in who they are, who God has created them to be. Part of our jobs as mothers is to help them discover who that is, asking questions, and cultivating their gifts. Choosing to love when it is tough. My children have loved me and continue to love me when I am unlovable.

Her Life Story: The Short Version

2012-05-16T13:00:00.002-04:00

This is little peek into a few moments of Mom's life story. Mom to eight kids. Most determined woman I know. Queen of DIY. Stead-fast Christ follower. Spunky with a sense of humor. Constantly curious. Out of this world cook--on a dime a day. Gumption of an explorer. Most beautiful smile there is. In her own words:

My daughter has asked me to write a little in honor of mother’s day, so I agreed. I am grateful to be a mother to eight children, 4 boys and 4 girls (some grown, some still little), and a grandma to one very special grandson. They are all very precious and incredible individuals. Their gifts and personalities are all very unique, each a very special gift from the Lord. I cherish each and every one of them. Knowing and loving these people is a very rich experience. They have stretched me (not always pretty) far beyond where I thought I was capable. I am thankful for the privilege of nurturing these precious children. I enjoy them immensely and learn so much from them. Much of what I’ve learned about mothering, I learned from my mom.

Mom is a devoted mom to 4 children, a grandma to 12 grandchildren, and a ‘great’ grandma to my grandson. She taught me to love in many ways. Throughout the years, she has been thoughtful and giving of herself. As well as caring for our needs, she somehow managed to provide little surprises for us along the way. As a mom, I now realize how much effort these ‘little’ surprises took, and wonder how in the world she fit them in to her busy days. I like to think of them as little celebrations of life and those we love. I am amazed as I walk through my own journey of motherhood and think of things she did in the midst of the responsibilities and struggles of her life. She found a way to pause, to bring joy into a day. I believe it was a choice for her, to intentionally take a moment and make it special, to choose to love in this way. She had a knack for turning a simple day into something really fun, taking a limited budget and providing good food and entertainment, a gift of love. These taught me to ‘celebrate’ in the midst of my own chaos, (I lack organizational skills) to look for joy in the sorrow and trials (the deepest joy is sometimes in the midst of our most difficult trials), and to cherish my own children, a gift from the Lord. I’ll share just a few of those memories.

For no apparent reason, Mom made us a treasure hunt. I have no recollection of what treasure was at the end, but I sure remember my brothers and my excitement as we followed clues and searched all over the house. It was great fun.

Mom provided each child with a little hiding place for a piece of candy or a coin (a coin could buy a lot of candy then), under a candlestick, a mug, a figurine. That place was ours alone, and we knew Mom was thinking of us when a surprise awaited us there.

We lived where we had some pretty amazing winters, and in the days where kids played outside most of the time (even in single digits!). We (my siblings, and the neighborhood kids) loved coming in to our house. We were cold, our fingers and toes were numb, and were hungry. We all knew that we would find yummy food, hot drinks, and a fire to sit around. (my father worked hard to see that we were always warm) Mom often fed us a special treat, peanut butter and jelly toasties with hot chocolate to drink. I’ve found a lot of people don’t know what they are, so I will explain. Take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and grill them like a grilled cheese sandwich, then sprinkle with powdered sugar. Kids and adults love them. After getting the hunger taken care of, we’d sit around and play games while our coats, gloves, and boots dried (there were a lot of those), then go out and repeat the whole process. My friends were impressed, and I was happy my mom was mine. Now that I’m a mom, I realize the effort and the gift of herself that she gave not only to her own children, but to the neighbor kids as well.

She ‘let’ me cook beside her. I suspect that her goal was to teach me to cook, but she did it in such a way that I felt privileged to spend the time with her alone. (absolutely nothing came out of a box) Not only did my mom let me cook with her, but I remember a few special times around Christmas that we turned out all of the lights and cooked by candle light! What fun that was. How did she squeeze that into her evening, after a day of working to serve? I still haven’t figured that out!

We had everything we needed, my father saw to that. He worked hard to provide. Steady, serving, whistling. But we didn’t have a lot of extra money, so had to be creative with fun things. I learned from Mom how to take a moment and bring joy and spontaneity into it, to look at circumstances I can’t change, accept them, and find something to celebrate in the moment. Sometimes I just don’t have it in me to do this, I know that is okay too. At those times, we don’t celebrate (to say the least…you can fill in the rest). These are just a few of the memories that I have of Mom giving of herself. There are many more.

Living in the Now: Mom's Heart, Part 1

2012-05-15T18:25:00.000-04:00

Celebrating motherhood, I'm excited to share some perspective from my own mom. She is a super hero rock star in her own right, and gave me the best mother's day gift this year by compiling a few stories and advice. Read more about her background here. Part 1 tells the story of nurturing and journeying with your children. Her real life experience blesses me, and I hope encourages you. I'll let her tell you the story herself:

When I was young, a wise mentor taught me some things that affected my thinking. She taught me that children are a blessing, not an inconvenience, not a burden. Believing this has resulted in an attitude of thankfulness in my heart, through days and nights when I didn’t know if I could really do the job I was called to do. This simple truth has filled my heart with joy throughout the seasons (I think joy and happy are different). The overall job of nurturing their little minds, souls & bodies gave me a sense of joy that the trials couldn’t defeat (although attempted).

Kiddos are a lot of work. They come to us 24/7 and are very needy. Through many years of being stretched, sleepless nights, challenging behavior (mine & theirs!), I felt very overwhelmed at times. Sometimes it seemed as though we did the same thing every day, like we weren’t getting anywhere. The responsibilities and trials of life can be daunting at times. Sometimes it was so hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. I learned to walk through those hard times, pressing on in the direction my heart was called to. The Lord gave me strength to continue, sometimes just for the next hour. He also gave me a deep conviction of my calling and the gift these precious people were. In this was an underlying joy in my journey. I am so thankful I realized that at a young age.

So, real life is full of messes everywhere, work calling us, projects needing to be tackled, diapers, meals, meals, and more meals, laundry, cleaning, playing (yes, playing is part of our job, yeah!), shoes everywhere (but not where they are supposed to be, and rarely a pair together), teaching, training moments, deep heart discussions late at night (forget that you have to get up early, grasp this, they are the best!) Some homes are orderly, mine is orderly some time, at others, I have no clue what happened!

We can make a purposeful choice to look for joy in the journey. A choice to pause and to see. To gaze upon sweet little face, and smile. To thank the Lord for piles of dirty dishes. We ate, we were full. When the laundry room is full of dirty clothes, I can choose to see God’s provision, or the endless piles. I can make a choice to see the blessings, or the drudgery. (isn’t any career this way?) My work is much easier when I choose to let my heart choose thankfulness. I try to take time to stop and to not only allow, but to treasure reality in my home. It is a fleeting season, full of life and what comes with life.

I think that the most valuable things in life cannot be bought. Some of the sweet, simple things I shared with my children brought joy to my heart, and I hope theirs. Sometimes I had to snatch time from our responsibilities to get them. If I had waited to plan them, few would have come about. I chose to walk away from a messy house, close a door to a messy bedroom, made a simpler supper, let the laundry wait (yes, it does reproduce), etc. It wasn’t always easy for me to take time out in the midst of responsibilities, a big part of me wanted to get them done. But now that I have 4 grown children, I am so glad we did. Choosing to nurture this way is sometimes hard because you can’t check it off your list, the visual accomplishment isn’t there. Our culture tells us we have to accomplish this or that (I do a good job of telling myself this too). Nurturing children is seldom obvious, but one of the most valuable things we can invest in our children, and probably one of their greatest needs.

Just a Breath

2012-05-15T17:39:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been a deep journey, and the spiritual discipline of blogging (do those words belong in the same breath?!) has long taken the back burner.

Just a breath. It was rich and good. But, so is this. So here I am again.

Living in the Now: The Heart of Being Kosher

2012-04-18T13:48:00.001-04:00

Sometimes the best library books I find are when I just stroll the aisles. Hence this random jewel:

Buy on this fab website

Old Testament law reminds me of why I love being Anglican: God's abounding love for us began before the foundations of the world. How He desires a relationship. His heart towards me is good. This soulful story's foundation is in these first few books.

But, I have never read a book on being Kosher. I found it worth a toe dip, even if it is too much to jump all the way in. The motive for this lifestyle can be found here:

For you are a people holy to the Lord your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. You shall not eat any abomination. Deuteronomy 14:2-3

At its heart, Kosher is eating purposefully, honoring heritage, and acknowledging the Lord. Kosher is a humble lifestyle of submission. Live-giving, nutrient rich food is eaten purposefully to bring glory to the God who feeds us, mind, body and spirit. The author, Lise Stern notes:

Deciding to keep kosher, and how you keep kosher is a personal choice. For me, keeping kosher reminds me of my Jewish beliefs and of God every time I eat. It makes me consider what I am eating, and helps me appreciate it.

I was startled--and convicted--to find Stern's heart was practically opposite of how I eat on an average day. When was the last time my PB&J reminded me of God? Maybe I've been sacrificing a moment to worship.

The most purposeful meal I prepare or eat is Eucharist. The pattern of preparing and receiving is well-considered. No other distraction demands my attention, and I'm fully present in this feasting moment. There is soulful music, companionship of family, and deep satisfaction in participating. Maybe communion is the most Kosher thing I do all week. What if "keeping the feast" was a culmination of keeping little feasts all week? What if my undivided heart seamlessly worshiped God the same way, communion wine or PB&J?

My challenge for you is to consider the heart of being Kosher. See the stark contrast that our average American day leaves us wanting. What ways can you live purposefully, to honor our Creator with each life-giving morsel?

Humor: Extrovert's Guide to Introverts

2012-04-16T12:32:00.002-04:00

Need I say more?

Practically Speaking: Light a Candle

2012-04-13T15:57:00.000-04:00

Remember the times we strike a match to light a candle as we mark an event:

Eucharist and liturgical,
Paschal and baptismal,
Wedding and ceremony,
Emergency and storm,
Romantic dinner,
Birthday cake.

Can you think of other times? Lighting a candle is soulful, a deliberate ritual that causes thoughtful pause. Bring this simple act into your daily reminds that ordinary is extraordinary. Breathe. God is here, right now. His light shines in the darkness. Out of the chaos of darkness, He created order. Not only can you see a candle burn, if you are completely quiet, you can hear a candle burn.

Try bringing this sweet practice into your family time. Kids thrive on ritual, on setting aside special time. Wait until all are ready to sit at the table for dinner, then have someone light a candle. A moment of quiet brings attention to the now that is being shared. Or, try lighting a candle for prayer time. Especially for children (or ADD adults!), it helps to focus our hearts and minds on one object, to quiet wandering minds and worried thoughts, opening our eyes to see.

Each time you light a candle, remember the romance and thrill of all the extra special times candles are lit: celebrating new life, celebrating communion, celebrating vows.

Ironically, as I write this, its Friday afternoon when our spiritual cousins are making preparations for Sabbath. When the table candles are lit, the past week's worries, routine, and ordinariness are marked past. For a single day, the all-sufficiency of God's grace is celebrated. The mere idea is romantic and idyllic, even if it sometimes requires discipline and focus to not work. Claim this sweet ritual as your own, strike a match and be in God's presence.

Living in the Now: Consuming Food

2012-04-11T15:09:00.002-04:00

This is a conservative formula for the past month. There is often an extra mouth, not to mention the times we've eaten with a friends or family. My immediate family now numbers 14, so you can image the orchestration to just share our two birthday celebrations last month. Check it out:

3 Mouths per meal

3 Meals per day

31 Days per month

----------------------

279 meals prepared in the month of March

Not to mention my needful morning coffee routine. Not to mention snacks. Not to mention second breakfasts. Not to mention helping friends. Not to mention...

HEAVENS. There is freedom for me in realizing food is consuming. How could it not be? I'm thinking about food more hours than not. Researching good food (recipes, diets, restrictions). Buying good food (grocery runs, coupon clipping, organizing my way-too-tiny pantry). Eating good food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bites in between).

What about you? Or am I just a food addict?

I have been completely committed to two ideas, at different times in my journey:

1. Food is a necessity. Meals are important because creates space for communion together. Thinking too much about food shows you have an eating problem. Being fed is a practical, yet often inconvenient task.

2. Food creates space for worship. Most of the time, I can't NOT think about food. God gave me a body needful of good food. I'm going to worship Him by eating deliberately completely, fully, and well.

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! Psalm 34:8

Could it be that tasting--eating--is a way for us to see how good the Lord is? That it teaches us to take safety in His faithfulness? Can we really worship while feeding our faces? God, give me the heart that eats in a way honoring to You.

Living in the Now: Making Choices

2012-04-10T14:33:00.002-04:00

It's 2:00 in the afternoon. I wish you were here to see the polite, quiet struggle. While I've had an extremely productive day checking off responsibilities, Someone has been slightly less productive. Quietly, respectfully, he refuses to work on his school. Purely won't pick up the pencil.

A little less quietly, he has clearly refused all food offered, and somehow that was the breaking point for me. He used to be such a good little eater, and this insane pickiness, this overwhelming stubbornness, hurts my pride.

Ah, there's the root.

Its somehow shocking that I can't force him to make good choices. And eating wholesome food, lovingly prepared from scratch, being served with a kiss and a smile...he won't choose it. His undying stubbornness to sit at the table, on strike, for this many hours is unsettling. Lord have mercy, what will he be like when he's 15?!

In the meantime, I'm committed to letting home be a place where it is safe to make choices--good or bad. A safe environment to live out what you choose, going hungry or grazing. How much more my Father does for me, a mindless sheep in His pasture:

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Psalm 23: 5-6

How do you coach your little one into making good choices? How do you let go of pride and humbly walk with God? This has been an ongoing battle for months. We've probably tried the basic ideas, so dig deeper. Input needed.

Living in the Now: 6 Ideas for Simple Hospitality

2012-04-04T03:00:00.000-04:00

There's one thing for sure about living in community with others: community happens rarely with notice. The neighbor that pops in, the friend who hopes for a chat, or an unexpected emergency occurs. Living together usually has no script. I've had my share of unexpected, stressful moments. Shockingly, it often leads to irrational resentment.

Instead, know that moment is coming. Make a plan to be fully present, to create space to hear the Spirit lead you in relationship with this person. Pray as you serve. Even a sweet sentence of blessing as your pour a drink will remind you of the God Who is now-here.

When it comes to stress-free hospitality of food, keep a few of these ideas on hand:

A Southern woman knows how to make a real glass of ice tea. Master it. Offer it often.
Lemonade mix is super simple and satisfying for those wild, little rascals from the neighborhood. Make your place be the favorite hang out. Oh, and send it outside.
Keep a few basic mixes on hand (cookie, cake, side dishes). You'll be more likely to share if you can whip it up quick.
Stash your favorite jarred sauce (mariana, pesto, white sauce), and keep pasta on hand. I've never met a soul who would turn down a fresh meal of pasta. You're more likely to invite someone to dinner last-minutely if you already have a plan.
Have a couple "go to" casserole recipes for shut-ins. My favorites make a double batch and can be frozen ahead of time: they'll eat one, and I'll keep one. Sending food suddenly is good for everyone.
Bring a tasty morsel to that meeting you kind of dread. Cookies go a long way in lightening a heavy load. Don't count on bringing any home.

Journey: Feeding and Following

2012-04-03T18:11:00.000-04:00

The next few weeks, we will be journeying on the ups and downs, sweets and savories, of eating. Discovering how much energy and time is invest into this necessity has been revealing the depth spiritual heart. Eating is such a funny thing, universal to all of us: a necessity, often a lot of trouble, generally satisfying, revealing of culture, and a point of gathering. No wonder prison punishment would be bread and water. Look what would be stripped away.

Eating forms us. Eating reveals our heart.

After my first child was born, I immediately lost almost all my pregnancy weight. Before pregnancy, food was a point to satisfy craving and little more. Continuing this mindset post-pregnancy with a new metabolism (biggest new mama shock!) crashed into an out of control self, speeding in the wrong direction for many months.

Dieting for the first time revealed that I was a binge eater. That was super embarrassing. Face to face with doubt, I wondered not only if I was worth all the work it took to eat well, I also wondered if I had the gumption to keep going.

Today, three years later, I am at my perfect ideal weight, have my life totally in control, eat only healthy, organic, locally grown food, and am now going to share my pearls of wisdom with you.

NOT.

Honestly, the art of eating as a worshiper--in a way that glorifies God--is a constant struggle. Maybe its been that way since that first forbidden bite of fruit in the garden. Instead of mastering a skill set, settling that battle, I'm finding ways to worship God while eating. Eating is so spiritual, and maybe its the first steps toward following God. Hopefully, you'll share your feeding journey, as well.

Precious Life with my Brother

2012-03-21T17:39:00.000-04:00

Today is World Down Syndrome Day. Wrestling with the best way to show a complete picture of life with my 10-year old brother with down syndrome (up syndrome!), I've rediscovered the depth of his intuition, the free love he extends to the known and unknown, and the crazy sense of humor he proudly displays. To me, grieving his lack of normalcy is like grieving that you and I are not exactly the same. He is a bearer of God's image in ways that are special--and completely unique--to him. Ask me sometime, and I'll tell you more about this.

In the meantime, check out these videos for a broader picture than what I can paint.

This video is such a godly, true picture of my brother that it gives me goosebumps:

This documentary is superb, following the journey of young worshiping Lior:

Living in the Now: Rooted in God's Renewal

2012-03-21T03:00:00.000-04:00

N. T. Wright says that "a mission-shaped church must have its mission shaped by hope; that the genuine Christian hope, rooted in Jesus' resurrection, is the hope for God's renewal of all things, for his overcoming of corruption, decay, and death, for his filling of the whole cosmos with his love and grace, his power and glory.... To be truly effective in this kind of mission, one must be genuinely and cheerfully rooted in God's renewal."

While this truth is grand and beautiful, personalizing this mission brings it closer to my heart--

...a mission-shaped person must have her mission shaped by hope; that her genuine Christian hope, rooted in Jesus' resurrection, is the hope for God's renewal....

This is a song of Gomer and Hosea, of the restoration of lost love, death of desire. Being rooted in God's regeneration is deep, heartfelt, and soul shaking. Mission shaped by hope is rooted in the stump of Jesse:

Then a shoot will come out from the stump of Jesse,

and a branch from its roots will bear fruit. Isaiah 11:1

Book Review: The Bishop of Rwanda

2012-03-19T03:00:00.000-04:00

Buy on B&N $0.99

Easier not to read, but if you can summon the courage, the truth will gobsmack you right where you stand. In 1994, at least 1,117,000 innocent Rwandans were murdered by their neighbors. This account journeys the severe struggles of suffering, forgiveness, reconciliation, and the true heart of God. Anglican Bishop John Rucyahana introduces, "It is my intention to show you this miracle--the miracle of God in Rwanda."

This account has transformed my heart, finding the God Who is there (Rwanda) is the God Who is now here. His heart towards those He loves is the same: a passionate Father, desiring truth, Giver of life, and Author of redemption.

Bishop John's account begins with historical background, an overview of the events surrounding 1994, and centers strongly on reconciliation efforts. His work was bestowed with the 2009 William Wilberforce Award.

This balance of perspective grants sharp clarity in your walk with God.

"Rwanda as a nation sought God because it was desperate," Bishop John concludes, "and God answered because He is a loving God. That is what is behind our healing and the power of our reconciliation, and it is available to the entire world. The God who is healing and blessing Rwanda wants to heal and bless the entire world if it will but call upon Him."

"I fell in love with this country," Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, reflects on his numerous journeys to Rwanda, "I prayed, 'Lord, help me find out what You are blessing and help me get in on it.' I think God is blessing Rwanda."

Follow this journey, and your mind and heart and soul will never be the same.