It's all a Bunch of Nonsense

Yahoo Answers to my rescue!

2012-01-22T12:52:00.000-08:00

Today I got a little bored and decided to play around on Yahoo Answers. It never ceases to amaze and amuse me how sensitive people can be. Here are the questions I asked with the answers that were provided. (Keep in mind, these questions have only been up for about 5 minutes. There could be a part B to this later.) ;)

Question number 1:

I have a Chinese Crested, but I don't like the way she looks. Is it possible to give her hair implants?

My Chinese Crested frightens away all of my family and friends. And I'll be honest . . . She frightens me. Is there a way I can give her hair extensions? Or like a weave or something so that she is more attractive? She's absolutely hideous! But I paid $6000 for her, so I don't want to just get rid of her, like everyone suggests. Please help!

Bobman says:

Why on earth did you get one if you don't like the way they look?

Ladystang says:

if you have the money and can find a vet
why not just rehome?
why did you pay that much for a pet?

Tia says:

On my birthday my mom bought me a 2000 dollar dog. It took my about a week to pick out the one I really wanted. Honestly if you think your dog is ugly then you were better off not buying her. Maybe next time wait and see what do you Truly bond well with and lives up to your cuteness expectations then buy the dog.
Always poodles are cute but they do get a little pricey sometimes.

Ama says:

Ah trolls, so pathetic.

Hairless chinese crested are adorable dogs that make wonderful companions. If you didn't like the hairless' appearance, stupid you, could have just got the powderpuff Chinese crested. Ah, but that would have required thinking-which trolls do not do.

Gloria says:

First off, if you saw her before you bought her, you knew she wasn't beautiful. Second, why on earth did you pay that much for a dog? if you really want to do something about her appearance just get her a dog coat. Chinese crested have faces only a mother can love, if you can't love her do the best thing for her and find her a new home. I have included a site to get dog clothes.

Source(s):

http://www.littlepamperedpets.com/

Question number 2:

What tattoo should I give my Sphynx?

I recently purchased a Sphynx cat online (who knew they were so expensive?) and I've decided that he's too ugly. (I have the same problem with a Chinese Crested dog. I need to quit buying animals with no fur.) Anyway, I have decided to give him a tattoo because I think it would make him more attractive. I can't decide what tattoo to give him, though. I'm down to three options.

A) A dragon with the chinese symbols meaning "Bad-A and Furrrrless" (get it - it's like "fearless", but not). Problem is -- I'm not sure there is a Chinese symbol for that . . . Is there?

B) A picture of my ex boyfriend whom I never fully got over. (If you could see him, you'd understand why it would be nice to have his face around again).

C) Hair. I could simply tattoo hair onto him. Think about it . . . Then he could have whatever color/pattern of fur I wanted!

I'm kind of leaning toward C . . . but maybe A or B. I don't know! What do you guys think? I really need some help here!

Mama Cat says:

Cats don't get tattoos. Get him a sweater instead.
A cat will not be still for a tattoo and no tattoo artist would think about it.

Liz says:

Yes, you need help. Leave the poor animal alone! How could you put him through that just because you don't like the way he looks?

Deesky says:

Get him a body toupee.

Emm Tree says:

Find a new home for your "ugly" animals. There are plenty of people who will love them the way they are. If you like tattoos, then get one for yourself. Any tattoo artist you approach should, and likely will, report you for animal abuse. I hope you live in Maricopa County, Arizona. Sheriff Joe can always make room for people like you in Tent City.

Question number 3:

What happens if my Chinese Crested and my Sphynx mate?

I recently purchased a Chinese Crested and a Hairless Sphynx, (one is a female and one is a male) and now I'm afraid they will mate because they are both so incredibly hideous! What happens if they mate and create even uglier babies?!

I'm afraid of taking them to the vet to have them fixed because someone told me that the scars are very ugly, and since there is no fur to cover them, you can totally see them! The last thing I want to do to my poor animals is make them even uglier!!

I suppose I could just separate them, but they've really bonded. It hardly seems fair to take them away from each other.

How do I keep my animals from mating?

This is a DISASTER!!!

Horseluver says:

Yeah, seeing as one is a dog, and one is a cat. I think your safe

Marc says:

You can't stop them from mating.

Pamela D says:

Nothing, nada,not a thing.
Dog and cat can not and will not ever be able to cross breed and have young.
Their genes and Chromosones are completely different.
Had you paid attention in Biology you would know this.

Ahhhh, fun. Well . . . that killed a good hour or so. :) On to the next thing!

The Joys of Voice Texting

2011-12-23T09:02:00.000-08:00

Last night - as my sister and I lay awake in our beds unable to sleep . . . yet again (those green teas really do give you all-day energy! – we discovered the true joys of voice texting.

The following is an actual texting conversation that provided us with literally hours of wild and utterly enthralling entertainment.

(Me)
(What voice texting said): I’m going to text to choosing my place and I’m going to see weird
(What I wanted to say): I’m going to text you using my voice and I’m going to say weird stuff.)

(Hailee)
Did you try to hear your boys texting thing again?
(Did you try to use your voice texting thing again?)

Commander have a voice texting works
(I wonder how well voice texting works)

Did you see if you click play in the rain?
(Indigenous Amphibians like to play in the rain.)

Burger King this is so funny you looking at bn westland’s cal.
(Rouger is looking at me so funny and wagging his tail.)

I’m using speak now I’ll change it to Thursday for another wanna get an accident guy
(I’m going to always use speak when driving so I don’t get in an accident and die)

U did somebody ##&# (It really sent those symbols)
Ew, did somebody fart?

Corny my birthday cake.
(I don’t even know what that was supposed to say)

Julie do you have your an ass.
(Hailee, don’t even sass me right now.)

Can your trip swim is very specific.
(Can you guess what this one is really supposed to say?)

Speak now very effective give me 98 super well
(I don’t think speak now is very effective. You have to enunciate very well.)

Your face looks like Chewbacca!
Hey! It got that one right!

So I can back to my room and Roger was so happy to see me.
(So, I came back into my room and Rouger was so happy to see me.)

This is Richard you really can get him out of your room.
(Why is Roger in your room again? Get him out of your room!)

Houston museum of this is really entertaining.
(I’m so amused. This is very entertaining.)

If don’t talk to that would be too drunk because people on drugs here things talking to them?

. . . . I don’t even remember what that one was supposed to say . . .

How did you fertilize if you can rest what I really said.
(I’ll give you $5 if you can guess what I really said.)

Stressing is called speak now my call say your message and something like that.
(Your thing is called Speak Now? Mine is called Say Your Message, or something like that)

Kiss my little sweetie speak.
(Well, it tells me to “speak now”.)

Call it Bangkok.
(So that’s what I call it)

Totally sucks ass
(I need a back massage)

I speak now thing I have a potty mouth
(My speak now thinks I have a potty mouth)

Okay dog is wet now new site
(Okay, going to bed now, good night)

This is james.
(Okay, sweet dreams)

Super cala fragilistic expialidocious

Wt?? That is gets???

Needless to say, voice texting is highly, highly efficient.

My sister's weird dream

2011-12-22T20:44:00.000-08:00

My sister has the strangest dreams. And this is no joke. She'llwake up in the morning and say to me, "Last night I had the strangestdream." Then she'll proceed to tell me the dream and I am obligated toconcur because . . . well . . . the dream was weird.

Take this one for example: (I'll do my best to repeat this inexactly her voice so you get the full effect.)

"Last night I had the strangest dream. Idreamt that you shot my dog.”

“You dreamt Ishot your dog?”

“Yes. There was a badger running through thehouse. It was running around wildly and driving everyone crazy. I wanted toshoot it, but much to my dismay, I couldn’t find any bullets. Instead, I optedto use small licorice pieces as ammunition. As I was loading them into the gun,I heard a gunshot from somewhere upstairs. Then you appeared carrying my deadpuppy in your arms. You apologized and said you shot him mistaking him for thebadger. I punched you in the face."

As you can imagine, as I am listening to this I am thinking that is absolutely absurd! Why would I ever pick up adead dog?

Here is yet another example of the things my sister's subconsciousmind can conjure. (Again, I'll be doing it in her exact voice.)

"Last night I had the strangest dream. (did I not tell youshe says that?) I dreamt that I was movingto the moon with Sara. I tied all of my stuff to really large balloons and sentthem on their way, but then Sara decided she no longer wanted to go, so I had areally big problem. How was I ever going to get my stuff back?"

That is a pickle. I’mglad it wasn’t my problem.