The Walker Fireside Chats

Coming Clean: Infertility

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Thu, 12 Jul 2018 03:39:00 +0000

Recently, the following announcement appeared on my personal Facebook and Instagram pages:

Many of my friends on social media know what this announcement means and what it pertains to, but many do not. I thought it would be appropriate to revive my old blog to come clean about what Jared and I have been enduring for the past three-and-a-half years in relative silence: infertility.

The word "infertility" may come as a surprise to many of you. Honestly, infertility came as a surprise to us as well. We wanted to start expanding our family in December 2014. It took about six months of no baby for me to realize that Jared and I were experiencing one of my worst nightmares. I have always been one of those little girls who wanted to be a mother. All of my toys growing up lived in family groups. I dreamed of baby names often, doodling those dreams in my diaries. I sang and cradled my baby dolls as if they had come from my own womb. So to become a member of the "one in eight couples who experience infertility" statistic was not just hard. It destroyed me from the inside out (read this previous blog post to understand what I mean by "destroyed"). It devastated my faith and made me question for almost two years whether I actually believed in a good God or not.

In the wake of this tragedy, Jared and I decided that we did not want to live our journey publicly on social media. Infertility is actually the reason why my blog fell to the wayside: the joy had been sucked out of my life, and I had no desire to talk about any of it. Also, Jared and I fell into silence because we were ashamed of our glaring brokenness. More recently though, our fertility journey has been more about preserving our privacy. As a childless couple our ages, Jared and I are quite conspicuous in everyday life. We enjoy just being the Megan and Jared you know and love on social media, rather than being defined by our current lack of children. With that being said, you will not see updates from us on social media regarding our personal fertility journey until that glorious day when we can announce our first child's arrival (and we believe that day is coming soon!). However, if you have questions for us about our journey or would like updates, please feel free to ask! We will never turn away an honest question.

Even though there are no children yet, Jared, Henry and I are a family!

But as I said, after the recent announcement on my social media pages, I wanted to share with you all the victory that has taken place in our lives. And while we have not yet experienced that final, tangible victory over infertility in the form of a first baby, we have experienced victory of another kind.

For me personally, this victory started manifesting in May 2017. My faith in a good God had been restored (someday, I would like to share the full story!). Jared and I were living in Jacksonville, Florida, during his residency and I was happily involved in Women's Ministry at our church. I also led a small group of preteen girls who filled my heart (and still do) with immeasurable joy. Even though God had given me these opportunities to use my maternal instincts in healthy, positive ways, I was looking for more. One day, I stumbled across a group called Moms in the Making on Facebook. Here was exactly what I needed: a group of faith-filled women who understood my fertility journey, with all its grief and joy. Here was a group of women who cared more about following God and seeking Jesus during this season than comparing test results or commiserating with one another.

One of my biggest blessings from Moms in the Making has been my prayer partner and sister in Christ, Katie!

At last, I could fully be myself. I did not have to hide my questions regarding what God wanted me to learn during infertility. I did not have to pretend to be okay on my sad days. I could relish in a true community. I joined Moms in the Making and have been an active member of it ever since. The founder, Caroline Harries, is one of my biggest heroes. Around this time, God started speaking to me about leading an infertility support group. I had been praying and talking to the Lord about infertility, telling Him that this journey would not be over until He (1) redeemed my suffering by allowing me to minister to others enduring infertility and (2) gave me a baby. I just had no idea how God would answer that prayer.

Earlier this year, when applications opened to lead a support group through Moms in the Making, I reluctantly turned in an interest form. I did not feel qualified to lead anybody, because I have gone through infertility very imperfectly. Still, I felt this calling on my life. You see, infertility opened my eyes to the silent suffering that so many of us endure and overlook in others as we focus on our own problems. I am no stranger to hiding in corners and weeping, and suddenly I saw others doing the same everywhere I turned. I could no longer shut out the suffering around me, and I did not want to. I wanted to do something about it and give people hope through the One who already paid for their victory and healing, Jesus Christ!

So here we are today, the official announcement of my support group. I went through the interview process and bared my soul. I did not lie and try to make myself sound like the perfect support group leader. Instead, I revealed the heart that God has given me for women enduring infertility. This group is the first part of my victory, one of the ways in which God has avenged me against the schemes of the devil. And I want you to know, even though my face is on the announcement, this victory belongs just as much to Jared. He has exhibited incredible courage in allowing me to share our story. He has given me his blessing for this support group and done so much already to make it happen.

Celebrating seven years of marriage with the love of my life. How am I so blessed???

Jared and I believe our total victory is coming soon. And even when our suffering is fully redeemed and we are holding our children (because we believe God has more than one in store for us!), we intend to continue on in this fertility ministry.

If you are a woman who is suffering and feeling hopeless during infertility, please know you are not alone. There is a group of women waiting to lift you up. I encourage you to check out the Moms in the Making Web site. Join us also on Facebook! If you are in the San Marcos, Texas, area and would like to attend my support group, please email me at meganwalker(at)momsinthemakinggroup.com.

Infertility is not the end. Jesus paid it all!

Chapter Two: Life After Medical Training

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Fri, 05 May 2017 17:02:00 +0000

Jared, Henry and I would like to announce the location of our Chapter Two: Life After Medical Training...Texas! We will be moving back to Texas the last week of June. Jared will be working in a hospital in Seguin, Texas, near San Antonio, and we will be living about 30 minutes away in San Marcos. Announcing this move officially is beyond surreal. After 11 (yes 11!) years of schooling and training, it feels surreal that our family will finally live with no deadlines looming over our heads.

It has taken me awhile to settle upon some words that will adequately describe how Jared and I are feeling at the end of our training journey. The one sentence that sums it up is, we did it! And yes, we did do it. Together we tackled benchmark tests, long periods of time apart and tight finances to reach this point. We sacrificed more than I care to write about in order to reach this dream, all so my incredibly compassionate, intelligent and gifted husband can heal others in the time of their greatest need. One of the thoughts that has given me the greatest comfort during Chapter One: Medical Training is knowing that whenever Jared leaves me, he is going to the aide of someone else who needs him more at that time.

I think a sentence that sums up this journey better than we did it! is WE did it! And by WE, I mean the countless people who have come alongside us during this journey in support of the dream. WE includes our families who sacrificed so we could even get started on this journey, who have loved us from afar and always made sure we had everything we needed. WE includes the friends here in Jacksonville who included us in their holiday celebrations when we had no where else to go and who helped us during our times of need. WE includes the other resident families who checked on us and understood when we wanted to give up, but served as a reminder of the ultimate goal. If nothing else, medical training teaches you to have a long-term perspective on your life!

But the most important WE in this equation is none other than God Himself. Looking back now, I see the hand of God guiding us along the path and making a way when there was none. One of my favorite stories of God's provision during Chapter One is when Jared needed to find away rotations before he started applying for emergency medicine residency programs. Jared applied just like he should have, and then we waited for invitations to arrive. One week, two weeks, three weeks and nothing! Jared started to get worried and wondered if he would have to change specialities or give up altogether.

But I had this great feeling of peace in my heart that no, emergency medicine was Jared's calling and God would provide. Sure enough, not long after, Jared got two invitations for away rotations. We were also able to find good friends and family to house Jared during those weeks away, which was a tremendous blessing for us poor medical school folk. Not only did God open the door, but He provided a way. And that is just ONE example during Chapter One of God's provision.

Chapter Two still feels far away even though it is so near. More than anything, I am excited for the TIME Jared and I will have together. We have spent at least half, if not more, of our marriage apart, so having this time now with him feels like I won the lottery many, many times over. When I think of leaving Jacksonville though, my heart hurts. So many of the people in our WE are here, these people who have loved us like their own families. God made a way for us in Jacksonville, and I know He will again in Texas.

Here's to Chapter Two: Life After Medical Training!

Trusting God in the Midst of Trials, Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 05 Sep 2016 16:13:00 +0000

Recently I have been giving a dose of practical spirituality to the often difficult task of trusting God in the midst of trials. In Part One, I laid the foundation of what you must believe about God in order to trust Him. Now in Part Two, we will discuss the practical action you can take in order to grow your trust in God: thankfulness, otherwise known in the Bible as thanksgiving or gratitude.

About a year ago, I did Priscilla Shirer's study "The Armor of God". This study forever changed my perspective on broad Biblical topics like spiritual warfare, prayer and thankfulness. My discussion today uses and expands upon what I learned from Priscilla's work. In "The Armor of God", Priscilla teaches that thankfulness to God encourages trust and ultimately activates His peace. Today, I am going to focus on the trust part of the cycle.

Two Types of Thankfulness

Did you know there are two types of thankfulness in the Bible?

Psalm 107:8-9 encompasses them both:

"(8) Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind, (9) for He satisfied the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things" Psalm 107:8-9 (NIV).

I'm going to flip the verses and talk about the first type of thankfulness with verse 9, Thankfulness for Blessings. As the name suggests, this type basically lists the blessings we have been given by God and thanks Him for them. While this process is extremely important, it does not tend to activate trust in God. Why? Because in our minds, I think we can disassociate God from blessings and attribute them to circumstances or our own hard work.

The key to activating trust in God with gratitude is to thank God for doing what only He can do. This type of thankfulness written about in verse 8 is Thankfulness for Provision. According to verse 8, Thankfulness for Provision means thanking God for His "unfailing love" and "wonderful deeds". For the blessings that could have only occurred because God intervened.

I have known for awhile how important it is for me to thank God for His provision, so I added a category on my blog to remember it in my own life. Here are a few of my favorite examples:

Some people may argue these things would have happened without God, but I know better. We all know the way our world works: injustice, nothing for free, fulfillment always just out of reach. These situations, despite how hopeless they initially felt, would never have worked out without the loving provision of God.

God is Good At All Times

In the midst of my current trials, I remember these past experiences and how God worked them for my good. And if God was working for my good when I didn't even know it, I can trust that He will work things for my good in the future. Even if I can't see it. Even if the situation seems hopeless. THAT is the point where trust begins. A good God is good all the time: past, present and future.

"[I]f we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself" 2 Timothy 2:13 (HCSB).

From this verse in 2 Timothy, we learn God cannot be unfaithful. He cannot act with a different character in the future than He did the past, because He would be denying Himself. God cannot be good to you in the past and not good in the future.

So the next time you find yourself struggling to trust God in the midst of trials, remember those provisions God gave you in the past. Remember He was good then, and He is still good now. I think you will find trusting God a little easier.

Reference: Shirer, Priscilla (2015). The Armor of God. LifeWay Press: Nashville, TN.

Trusting God in the Midst of Trials, Part One

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 29 Aug 2016 16:25:00 +0000

Not long ago, I introduced the topic of practical spirituality.

One of the key questions I believe needs a strong dose of practical spirituality is how to trust God, particularly in the midst of a trial. It amazes me how many secret struggles people carry with them every day. What a relief it would be to serve a God we can trust with our circumstances, our fears, our dreams. As Christians, we know intellectually we should trust God, but convincing our heart is sometimes another matter.

As someone who just experienced the most heart-wrenching, soul-shaking year of my life, trusting God in the midst of trials has been of particular interest to me. In the course of praying and reading the Bible, God taught me that trusting Him is like trusting anyone else: we must get to know Him! How we do this is where practical spirituality comes into play, by spending time with God.

Don't worry, I'm not going to start preaching about personal devotional time, even though I do think that is a critically important step of learning the character of God. In this discussion, however, I would like to ask you a question: who do you believe God is?

Who Do You Believe God Is?

"'But what about you?' [Jesus] asked. 'Who do you say I am?'" Matthew 16:15 (NIV).

This question lays the foundation of whether or not you trust God.

At one time in my life, I would have given you some pretty convincing Sunday School answers about who I believed God was. I would tell you Jesus is my Savior and I worship God. But deep down, I thought God was withholding good things from me in order to punish me. I thought God considered me unworthy, and my lackluster relationship with Him reflected those beliefs. I unsurprisingly had zero trust in God. Who would trust someone like that? I realized I believed quite a few lies about the God I claimed to serve, and that motivated me to investigate His true character.

So no Sunday School answers here! Deep down, what do you believe about God? If you are not sure, your attitudes about the things of God are a good indicator. Are you generally happy to go to church and be in the assembly of believers? Are you hungry for the teachings of God? Do you apply those teachings as best you can to your life? If not and you find yourself struggling to trust God, you may need to examine your beliefs. Let's look at what we should believe about God in order to trust Him.

God Exists & He is Good

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe He exists and He rewards those who earnestly seek Him" Hebrews 11:6 (NIV, emphasis added).

This verse lays the foundation for our trust in God. First, we must believe He exists. We cannot trust God if He isn't real.

Second, we must believe He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. This is really the key to unlocking your trust in God. You must believe God has your best interests at heart, that He is good. Because if God exists and He is good, it completely changes the purpose of trials in our lives. A good God does not allow trials without a bringing good from it (Romans 8:28). A good God does not withhold any good thing from His children (Matthew 7:7-11). A good God can be a Father rather than a punisher (Isaiah 63:16). A good God is worth trusting, even if we don't understand our circumstances, because we know He is in control (Isaiah 55:8-11).

The Challenge

Answer Jesus' question, "who do you say I am?"

If you can answer honestly "God is good", you have the seed of trust already planted in your heart. If not, we have some work to do! But no worries, because we serve a good God. And with practical spirituality, we can learn the practical steps to increasing our trust in Him.

In Part Two, I will share one of the concepts that has made the biggest difference in how I trust God.

Practical Spirituality

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 21:21:00 +0000

I have a spiritually incorrect question to ask you. Not politically incorrect, but spiritually.

But before I ask it, let me give you a little background. I have been trying to write this blog post for some time now, because the question I have been pondering in my heart is taboo by typical Christian standards. I did some field research by discreetly speaking with some fellow Christians, and what I learned is people in the church are thirsting for honesty and authenticity (let me clarify by "church" I mean the church in general, not necessarily the specific church I attend). People are looking for a place to ask these "spiritually incorrect" questions and not be judged as heretics. People are looking for answers in a confusing, discouraging world.

So I'll jump first and ask my question: why does Christianity seem so impractical sometimes?

I was blessed to grow up in the church. I went to church before I was even born (thanks mom!). So for 28 years, I have experienced the highs and lows of the Christian walk, even before I was saved myself. This past year, it has bothered me tremendously that Christians are often told to do things, but are not told how to do these things. Take for example the commonplace response of "trust God" in the midst of a trial. Well...sure, okay. I know I am supposed to trust God. But I find it difficult to trust Him when I don't know what He's doing and my emotions are plummeting me into discouragement. So since trusting God doesn't come easily for me, I must be a failure.

You see the cycle people are put in? There has been much debate over the past several years why young people are leaving the church. Of course we may never know the full reasons, but I am beginning to think one reason is how impossible the "perfect Christian walk" seems. Jesus warned His disciples, "watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" Matthew 26:41 (NIV). We are given victory over sin through Jesus Christ's sacrifice, but the daily struggle of the flesh is still very present in our lives. I think more battles would be won if people were given the tools of practical spirituality.

Think about it this way: God is a practical God. He is a planner. Before Eve even took a bite of the forbidden fruit, God had a plan for a Savior. The Bible says God has a plan for each of us (Jeremiah 29:11). So it is hard to believe that God would expect us to follow His commands without giving instructions for application.

The concept of practical spirituality has emerged from my research and prayer into the question I posed earlier. So what is practical spirituality? Practical spirituality gives us the tools to apply broad Biblical teachings to our own lives. No matter how you feel, who you are or what circumstances you are in, practical spirituality helps you apply God's Word.

After the difficult year my family and I have endured, here are a few topics I think could use a dose of practical spirituality:

Wrestling with God - should we feel shame for disagreeing with God's will?
Trusting God - how to do it in the midst of confusion and disappointment.
Failure - what is the appropriate response when we fail spiritually?
Emotions - (this is a big one for me, because emotions are where I am weakest) how to obey God's Word when we feel like doing otherwise.

My personal study time has been devoted to talking to God, reading the Bible and addressing these topics in my own life. Now that I have laid it all out there, I am curious what you think. What questions do you think could use some practical spirituality?

I Have Loved You

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 13 Jun 2016 22:20:00 +0000

When I was a preteen, I wrote poetry all the time. Something about the fluid, rhythmic nature of poetry helped me express deep emotions in a way no other method could. Today, I share my first poem in years. It is called "I Have Loved You".

I have loved you in the midst of the shriveling ache,

the negative signs my sorrow make.

I have loved you though we have never met,

my hope for you a worthless net.

I have loved you enough to recognize the pit,

nothing, no matter how good, a perfect fit.

Your absence is a grief, strangling and deep.

I hide it and give it away, but the peace never keeps.

Please God, tell me how to cope

With grief that smothers every faith and hope.
Time doesn't help, the desolation only deepens,
The path to the one I have loved only steepens.
God, You tell me to trust You, to arise and go
But maybe I want to give up, I hate that only You know.

I have loved you as I watch others live my dream,

I sink beneath the waters as they flourish in the cream.

I have loved you as I watch the light dim in my beloved's eyes.
We miss you together, him and I.

Though you may exist only in my heart, your future with me unclear,

I have loved you, will always love you, through the unending years.

Creating an Environment of Healing for Surgical Incisions

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Fri, 03 Jun 2016 18:52:00 +0000

I have always been a slow healer. It seems like I am always waiting for my body's normal functions to respond.

My recovery time is always at least twice as long as a normal person. When I had my tonsils taken out at around five years old, I started losing weight because the pain made me lose interest in eating. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, I was out from school for a week in pain. My brother, who had the exact same surgery, felt better the next day. When I had my appendectomy, the surgical incision through my belly button got infected, prolonging my recovery (in hindsight, that may have had something to do with the dermabond!).

So I suppose it should not come as a surprise to me that I am STILL recovering from my recent surgery. Yes, two months later I still have an open incision on my body. Boy, that dermabond really did a number on me. I have tried everything from leaving it alone to steri strips (little white bandages that are designed to hold the two sides of a wound together). Nothing has worked. My doctor, who has been so supportive through this whole process, told me because of my allergic reaction to the dermabond, I missed the window for my body to heal outside, in. I now must heal inside, out, which can only be done by my body itself.

After seeing no improvement for two weeks, I was determined to find another solution. I had lost patience with the constant drainage. I searched the Internet (I know, usually a bad idea) to get some inspiration on what I could do. I realized there are many people who struggle with wound care and there are not many answers out there. So I thought I would share the answers I finally discovered in hopes it will encourage someone else.

Before I continue, let me insert a disclaimer: I am NOT a medical professional and my experience is not a substitute for sound clinical advice. Everything you read here is based on my own experience and my own research.

My incision is strictly a skin wound with normal drainage. There has been no infection (thank God!) or special care instructions I needed to follow once I left my physician's care. I did this to encourage my body's own healing ability. If you are in a similar situation, read on!

My desperation led me to prayer. I asked God to heal my incision and help me find the solution. On the way home from Texas recently, I saw an ad in Southwest Magazine for the Vaseline Skin Healing Project. (By the way, this is not a sponsored post). As I did more research into the project, I had no idea Vaseline had such skin-healing properties. It dawned on me perhaps Vaseline could be the answer to my problem. When I got home, I researched using Vaseline on a surgical incision. There wasn't much information about it, but some surgical centers did recommend patients put Vaseline on the incision site in order to keep the wound moist.

Why Vaseline?

How I feel about Vaseline right now. Via

Conventional wisdom states wounds should be kept dry in order to heal. Normally, that is not too much of a problem. But for wounds that need major healing, the site needs to be kept moist. This encourages the natural skin-healing process. If you think about it, all of your internal healing occurs in a moist environment. Why not external healing as well?

I realized perhaps the reason why my incision kept draining is because it was trying to stay moist!!! Rather than heal, my body was wasting energy as it tried to create the optimum environment for healing.

I had nothing to lose, so I decided to try Vaseline. It was a miracle, praise God! My incision has healed more in five days then it has in two months. I see beautiful, glorious new skin growing within the incision where there used to be a black hole. The incision itself is almost closed completely, and I expect it will close in a few more days. There is no more drainage either!

How to Apply

To get these results, I followed what instructions I could find for application and my own observations of the healing process. Here's what you need to know:

Apply as needed to the incision site with clean hands, Q-tip, etc. (Please read, CLEAN!).
Initially, the Vaseline should be thick like cake icing to start creating that environment of healing. We want our bodies to realize they can start doing internal work rather than focusing on closing the outside. As my incision has healed and is trying to close, I have reduced the amount of Vaseline and apply it only to the edges.
The key is MOIST, not WET.
Applying too much or keeping the incision plus Vaseline under a bandage all the time can degrade the healthy skin around the incision. As much as possible, keep the Vaseline confined to the incision site and keep it uncovered. I've been a bit of a homebody since I started this regimen, but I don't care because IT'S WORKING! I apply a bandage if a need to go out, but I take it right off when I get home. Plus my skin is extremely sensitive to adhesive (yay, me), so bandages only irritate the area worse.

Other Information for the Environment of Healing

As I have stumbled through this recovery, here are a few more things I have learned:

DO NOT use hydrogen peroxide after the initial cleaning.
For a week or so, I used hydrogen peroxide whenever I felt my incision needed a cleaning. Something about seeing those little white bubbles is satisfying! Then I started to wonder why my incision wasn't healing. Turns out, hydrogen peroxide is actually a little too effective at its job. Your body needs some bacteria as a stimulus to heal. If you keep applying hydrogen peroxide, your body will never be prompted to heal. Obviously, follow your physician's instructions if they have prescribed hydrogen peroxide as part of your wound care routine.
Use antibacterial gels or creams sparingly.
Again, your body needs some bacteria as a stimulus to heal. You obviously do not want infection, so again follow your physician's instructions. But my incision never seemed in danger of infection, it just stayed open! Antibacterial gels or creams carry the same negative effect as hydrogen peroxide, just to a lesser degree.
You might need steri strips to finish healing.
Once the Vaseline helped my body fill in the skin internally, I hit a healing plateau. The Vaseline didn't encourage such miraculous progress anymore. It's like my body didn't know how to fill in the external portion of my incision. So, based on my doctor's recommendation, I used steri strips. Steri strips are thin white bandages you can purchase at the drugstore. These bandages are designed to hold the two sides of a wound together so they can heal. Wear the steri strips around the clock to encourage the external portion of your incision to heal! Once I did this, I finally started seeing external healing.

I know some people do not believe in prayer, but I do not think it was a coincidence I saw the Vaseline ad in a random magazine I happened to pick up. If you are struggling to heal a surgical incision, I hope this post gives you a place to start creating that environment of healing!

Eulogy of a Simple Man

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Fri, 27 May 2016 03:01:00 +0000

One of my favorite family photos

Today we laid Richard Walker to rest.

For the funeral, Jared and his sister Tristin wrote the most beautiful eulogies for their father. As I remembered the life of this man who I love, I thought I would write my own in his honor.

I first met Richard in 2007 when Jared and I started dating. It was Family Weekend at Texas Tech University. The co-ed service fraternity Jared and I were both a part of hosted a luncheon for all the parents, and I was seated next to Richard. Once Jared introduced me to his father, Richard spent the rest of the luncheon telling me about Jared's many accomplishments. How successful he had been in soccer, bassoon and school. How Jared had plans for the future, and if I wasn't going to support those plans, I needed to step down.

I was stunned. My parents had given several boys who wanted to date me the "treasure speech", saying I was their treasure and they expected me to be treated as such. But I had never been the recipient! What Richard didn't know at the time was how much I loved his son, specifically for his ambition to become a doctor. For the hopes and dreams he had for his life. I had never met anyone who shared my motivation to live life to the fullest before Jared.

Fast forward a year. Jared took me to his hometown of Brownwood, Texas, to have dinner with his grandparents. Cindy and Richard came as well. At the end of dinner, after Richard had paid for everyone, we all walked outside and I said, "thank you for dinner, Mr. Walker".

Richard said, "Megan, you're family! You don't need to call me Mr. Walker. Richard is just fine". Even then, I knew I had been welcomed into a very sacred circle: the Walker family. Richard loved his family more than anything. To be included in that love means more than I can ever write.

Cancer is one of the greatest evils of our time. Over a period of six months, Richard battled a brain tumor and succumbed. I have really struggled with God's timing. Why now? Where was He during Richard's battle? During the funeral service, the minister read passages Richard had marked in his Bible for the funeral. Richard stunned me again. What kind of man, enduring such suffering, would have the presence of mind to write about his ending?

Later, I got the opportunity to look at Richard's Bible more closely. In the front, he had taped pictures of Jared and Tristin. In the back, he had written what he considered to be the most important dates of Jared and Tristin's lives: when they accepted Jesus as their Savior, when they were baptized, and when they were married and began their own families. Finally, on the last few pages, he wrote a section titled "The End". There, he detailed the Bible passages and hymns he wanted used at his funeral.

Immediately, I knew where God had been the past six months: at Richard's side, giving him peace. And because I knew Richard had peace, I have peace. I know where Richard is tonight. And it is not in a cemetery.

Richard was a simple man. He loved simple things: family, friends and living life to the fullest. But his beliefs were not simple. Imagine the faith and trust in God it took to write those words in his Bible. Perhaps God even gave Richard a glimpse of his future home. I do not know, but one day I will when I see my beloved father-in-law again. I hope we enjoy a cup of coffee on the front porch of Heaven.

The view from where we laid Richard to rest

Etching Scars of Remembrance

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 09 May 2016 17:49:00 +0000

The healing process from surgery (read the beginning of this story here) is still ongoing, y'all. It has actually been quite fascinating to see my body slowly knit itself back together. I have never witnessed the healing process so close to the surface. It is actually quite miraculous how God made our bodies!

These incisions, when they finally heal, will apparently leave some pretty terrific scars. I recently had my last post-operative appointment with my doctor. As he examined my healing progress, he lamented about how careful he had been to leave no trace of this surgery. He had used especially small instruments and placed the incisions so they wouldn't be seen, no matter what type of clothing I chose to wear. He even told me about another patient of his who had the same surgery as me around the same time. Two weeks later, you could barely tell she had surgery at all! Not so with me.

My doctor carefully gauged my reaction as he told me I would have some scars. I think he expected me to be upset. Strangely, I accepted this reality very peacefully. And no, it is not because I have no vanity. If you have ever met me in person, you know how I love to wear beautiful dresses and makeup! No, I accepted these scars because I see a larger purpose for them. I believe God is etching scars of remembrance on my very skin.

The past three years have brought many lessons for me, some I learned much slower than I wished. I believe these scars are intended to be a reminder of those lessons, the lessons I will need for the rest of my life. As I thought about these scars, I wondered if the Bible had anything to say about scars. After all, we all have them. Maybe not so literal as scars after surgery, but we all have scars lurking on the surface of our hearts.

The Bible does in fact record one particularly significant instance of scars:

"Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve [disciples], was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, 'We have seen the Lord!'

"But he said to them, 'Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it'.

"A week later His disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you!'

"Then He said to Thomas, 'Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe'" John 20: 24-27 (NIV).

Have you ever considered Jesus was scarred by His crucifixion? God could have healed those nail marks completely, but He allowed Jesus to keep them. Why? Based on these verses, Jesus' scars had a purpose. He used them as evidence, not only to prove to Thomas who He was, but to prove to the world what He had endured for love.

Compared to Jesus' scars, my scars are insignificant. The last thing I claim is to be like Jesus. However, I think there is a powerful lesson for all of us who have scars. Those scars you have not only on your body, but on your heart, are likely the evidence of life endured. The life stories, etched permanently in place. The sacrifices you have made for love. The injuries and mistakes you were delivered from. The lessons you learned during great suffering, but shaped you into the person you are today.

I think if God allowed His own son to have scars, He places great significance on them. Scars are not for nothing. If anything, they are for remembrance.

Leading from Behind

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Tue, 03 May 2016 21:40:00 +0000

"How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you. Whether you turn to the right or the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, 'this is the way, walk in it'". Isaiah 30: 19, 21 (NIV)

These verses spoke to me the moment I read them. However, one thing left me wondering: why would the Bible say God will speak behind us? Wouldn't it make more sense for God to be in front of us, leading us forward? I asked God to explain the concept to me. Recently, He explained the concept of "leading from behind" to me through a powerful demonstration of His provision.

I will be honest with you: I really debated sharing this story because the background is a little more than I am prepared to share with the whole world. However, as I have been thinking about God's provision in this circumstance, I just can't stay silent. When God answers your prayer in a powerful demonstration of faithfulness, I believe it is important to share that story to encourage others in their faith. That is the original purpose of The Walker Fireside Chats: to encourage others. And even though the blog itself has diminished, the power of the purpose behind it has not.

On April 18, I had laparoscopic surgery on my abdomen. The surgery was not emergent, totally something my husband Jared and I planned. I don't have the best history with surgery (see here and here for proof), but we thought this surgery would give us some much coveted answers about our future. The surgery itself went fine. The recovery, however, did not.

The laparoscopic surgery left me with four incisions: one to the upper left of my belly button, one through the belly button and two along my pelvic bones. My doctor closed the incisions after surgery with dermabond, a very typical surgical glue. I went home for a week under the care of Jared and my mom, who flew in from Houston just to take care of me.

For a week, things seemed to be okay. I had some pain and couldn't move well, but I was okay. After a week, though, I became concerned. My incisions didn't seem to be healing. In fact, they were getting more and more swollen and inflamed, particularly the bottom two. By the time my mom left 10 days after the surgery, my skin had blistered and bubbled around the incisions. I could barely walk, much less sleep.

I called my doctor's office in desperation. They route all calls through a call center, and for some reason, the people answering my calls did not take me seriously. They told me to go to the emergency room, but frankly, I didn't want to risk waiting for hours through triage. I was at the end of my rope. I had no idea what to do. I was alone and scared for my health. This was supposed to be a routine procedure, not the suffering-filled nightmare it had become!

I prayed a desperate prayer to God, asking Him to help me. "Tell me what to do!", I cried. I had been crying before and during my prayer, but once I finished, I became silent. I got mad. How dare the call center not take me seriously? I know my own health, not them! I decided to throw a Hail Mary pass and just show up at my doctor's office. I thought perhaps if someone could see my incisions, someone familiar with my medical history, they would realize how serious the situation had become.

So I drove to the office and told my tale of woe to the receptionist. To her credit, she listened and disappeared in the back to speak to someone. Praise God, my doctor himself had just finished clinic hours and agreed to see me. I thought, "what a coincidence!", but really it was a divine planning.

My doctor and his nurse took me to an exam room and I showed them my incisions. They gasped. I could see the horror on their face. I explained everything that had led me to this desperate act. Apparently the call center didn't have my correct information, so they didn't bother forwarding my messages to the office. My doctor promptly said I had a terrible reaction to the dermabond, the worst he had ever seen. After he removed the glue, my incisions were still open underneath, even after a week of healing!

The help I needed was waiting for me. All I had to do was get up and move forward in faith. Once I got home and thought about the miraculous circumstances that allowed me to see my own doctor with no appointment, I realized what the concept of "leading from behind" meant.

Sometimes God reaches into our lives and helps us like a CIA extraction team, miraculously turning our circumstances around. But I think most of the time, God allows trials because what's important is the process and what we learn. I remembered Joshua from the Bible. After his mentor and friend Moses died, Joshua was called to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. I am sure Joshua was terrified, his instincts telling him to sit still. Such an incredible task was impossible.

Instead, God tells Joshua,

"Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land I do give them" Joshua 1: 2 (KJV).

Basically, God tells Joshua, "get up, son! The worst has happened, but I have bigger plans for you. Get up now, and cross this seemingly impassable river. I have made a way".

In the midst of trials, just like Joshua, I think our instinct is to sit still and beg God to rescue us. And sometimes He does it just like that. But as Isaiah 30: 19, 21 illustrates, God more often leads us as we move forward in faith. I hope my experience gives you the courage to move forward and cross that seemingly impassable river! God has made a way.

The Texas Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Wed, 09 Mar 2016 20:08:00 +0000

I recently just got back to Jacksonville after visiting my family in Texas for a week. After achieving a little outside perspective in Florida, I realize just how Texas Texas can be. I mean, state pride is everywhere you look! Case in point, the first thing I see after getting off the airplane in Houston...

Isn't Snapchat so much fun???

Yes, that is a life-sized replica of a horse-drawn coach, complete with Western-themed murals, to honor the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo being in-town. And don't let me forget the other Texas sight at the airport:

Oh yes, y'all, a cowboy boot the same size as me! Don't miss the Western memorabilia in the nearby display case either. All I can say is, what a welcome home! It was good to be back in the Lone Star State.

No self-respecting Houstonian would miss the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo of course. This rodeo is not your typical rodeo, y'all. It's more like a festival. I have such fond memories of going to the rodeo when I was growing up, so being able to go twice during my visit was really a treat. The first time I went with both my mom and dad. We hit all the animal exhibits, including Brahmin cattle, the birthing zone (lambs and piglets!!! My heart almost burst), honey bees, chickens and rabbits. The bunny below was one of my favorites for obvious reasons. If you know me, you know how much I love eyeliner.

The actual rodeo events are also incredible. My favorite is the barrel racing (girl power!), but the bullriding is like a train wreck: you can't look away, it's so compelling! One of the cutest events is called mutton bustin'. Basically, five-and-six-year old kids get put on the back of a running sheep to see which one can stay on the longest. It's like tame bullriding.

If the rodeo events aren't your favorite, one of the best parts is how many other things there are to do! On both nights, we enjoyed the Wine Garden where they serve award-winning wines from across the country. Oh yes, the rodeo awards not only livestock, but wine as well! Besides wine, food vendors of all kinds offer you whatever kind of food you can imagine. Since I was in Texas, I naturally indulged in some much-missed Mexican food.

One of my favorite parts of this trip was being able to spend quality time with both my parents. My dad took me to the second night of rodeo. We walked around the shops and looked at turquoise jewelry. I can't remember the last time I spent time with just my daddy. My mom and I also got to take a cooking class at Sur la Table! We were the only two in the class, so we got a lot of neat cooking tips.

We're chefs now!

I learned how to properly salt and pepper meat by holding your hand high for even distribution. Apparently, my previous method caused a lot of salt pockets...whoops...also, make sure you whisk from the center, out! Much more effective. Cooking is one thing I always love learning more about, so this was a particularly special experience for me with my momma.

To end the week, my parents and I traveled to Dallas to attend my grandma's 90th birthday party. My mom and dad got my grandma a GIANT chocolate cake that we took with us. I mean, this thing was four layers tall! My mom and I were nervous about how to cut such a monstrosity, but the main thing about cutting cakes is don't be afraid! We managed to parcel out most of the cake. It was delicious!

90 years, what an achievement!

The best part of the party was seeing a lot of folks from my dad's side of the family, whom I haven't seen in quite a long time. To me, that is the Texas experience: loving on my family and enjoying the things I remember from growing up. What a fabulous trip!

The Most Important Love Lesson

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 01:28:00 +0000

In honor of Valentine's Day, I'm pulling one of my favorite blog posts out of the archives. In 2014, I did a series exploring my experience with different types of love. If you want to read the original post with links to other posts in the series, go here!

The post I am sharing now explores true love vs. infatuation. For a large portion of my life, I did not know the difference. It took God, a pastor and Jared to teach me the meaning of love. So on this auspicious day when we celebrate love in all its forms, I hope you enjoy!

Today's Learning About Love lesson has to do with a pastor and a broken heart. The pastor is the man on the left in my photo, Jason. He is one of the people I admire most in the world. The broken heart belonged to me my freshman year of college.

How did I get a broken heart? Well, it had to do with a boy named Jared (my now-husband!) of course. Jared and I met our freshman year in 2006 at Texas Tech's Welcome Week. We semi-dated, but Jared did not return my affections at the time. And that's ok, folks! It all worked out in the end. But because of my one-sided feelings for Jared, I went home the summer of 2007 with a deeply broken heart.

You see, I thought I loved Jared. I couldn't think about anyone else when he was around. I couldn't understand how such strong feelings wouldn't be reciprocated by the man I loved. I had a lot to learn.

That summer, I did an internship with the children's ministry at First Baptist Church of Boerne where Jason was an associate youth pastor. The children's minister reached out to Jason and asked him to take me under his wing. I think she knew I was lonely. Jason invited me to Bible Study with the youth group at his house.

I was leery of participating at first. I had absolutely no friends in Boerne. The people my age showed zero interest in me, even when I tried to befriend them. My first impression of the youth group occurred when the head pastor's daughter publicly shunned me when I introduced myself to her. Needless to say, I was nervous.

But Jason and his beautiful wife Mindy made sure I was included in the group. Jason would ask me questions in the large group and Mindy would include me in small group discussions. I don't think they realize how grateful I am for the love they showed me that summer.

Because of Jason and Mindy's example, I learned what true love looked like. True love ministers to all people without any thought of return. True love makes you want to be a better person instead of making you want to die. And most importantly, true love doesn't make you suffer. It makes you sacrifice. If I truly loved Jared like I thought I did, I would have to let him go if he wanted to leave. I needed to sacrifice my self-interest and let him be happy with whomever he chose.

Over the course of time, Jared realized his mistake (duh!) and here we are almost three years later. But I never forgot the lesson Jason and his wife Mindy taught me. When it came time to pick the pastor for my wedding, I knew it had to be Jason.

To Jason: thank you for the love you showed me in a very difficult time. You have truly made a difference to me and the outcome of my life.

Oops...

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Tue, 02 Feb 2016 16:10:00 +0000

It has recently become obvious to me a hallmark of adulthood is figuring out how to get yourself out of trouble.

Case in point:

See those keys sitting on the seat while Jared and I are on the outside? Yep, talk about trouble. (Side note: it makes me laugh Jared is trying to find help while I'm taking a picture haha! The situation was so absurd, I just had to document it). I have a real attraction for car trouble, let me tell you (see here!).

I drive a 2005 Honda Civic named Teddy (I got him in high school, cut me a break!) and I think Teddy is the last car on earth with manual locks. Since it's much easier than normal for me to lock my keys in the car, I have always been very cognizant of knowing where my keys are when I lock my car. In fact, this is the first time in 10 plus years I have locked my keys in the car.

Jared and I were grocery shopping and leaving the building when I realized I couldn't find my keys. Sure enough, there they were lying on the seat in plain sight. We weren't really sure what to do. Breaking the window sounded violent and expensive, and we had no tools to break in. So we decided to see if someone would come pick us up. But who? Most of the people we know have kids and/or don't live in the area, and we felt bad inconveniencing anyone.

Finally I decided to call my friend Mary from church. Her husband Jeff answered the phone. They were at Walmart shopping with their children. I quickly explained the situation and apologized for calling, because it sounded like they were busy. I did not expect Mary and Jeff to drop everything to help us, because it was a lot to ask. Over my protests, Jeff said he and Mary had a plan. He would come pick us up, no problem, and take us back to our apartment. I was stunned. How kind is that?

I also called our apartment complex and asked them to unlock our apartment for us, since of course our house key was with the car key...no problem. The office took care of it right away. As Jared and I waited for Jeff, I thought this situation could have been so much worse! We could have known no one to call. This could have happened after our apartment complex office closed, and then how would we get inside the apartment? I guess we could have called Pop a Lock and hoped a maintenance emergency call would get someone to unlock the door. Even Jared, who could have been really angry at me, took it all in stride.

I had a moment of clarity standing there. God makes provisions for us in all circumstances, if we have the eyes to see. Yes, locking my keys in the car was a mistake, but we had kind friends, good (for the circumstance) timing and a wonderful apartment complex office on our side. I think this was a timely lesson, especially after all the sadness in our lives the past several months. I'm going to start looking for those provisions!

Arise, and Cross the River Jordan

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Thu, 31 Dec 2015 17:23:00 +0000

With 2016 fast approaching, now is the time to reflect on the previous year and look towards the future. We traditionally reflect on our blessings and contemplate what goals we might want to pursue in the new year. How I wish I could say 2015 was a year filled with blessings and opportunities. And in a way, that is certainly true. I became of member of my church and cemented many relationships which are near to my heart. I made a positive change in my working life. I decided to go back to school and pursue my own dreams. But overall, I would say 2015 was a year of sorrow for my little family. Nothing went as we hoped.

The end of this year has been particularly horrible. The week before Christmas, Jared and I found out some devastating news about the health of someone we love dearly. Fortunately, Jared had a random four days off where he could travel to see this family member and help in any way he could. While he was gone, I contracted the flu (and yes, I did get a flu shot!). I spent the Christmas week huddled by myself on the couch trying keep my body in one piece. One blessing out of that illness is the people from my church and my family who kept checking on me. I don't think I would have made it without their encouragement.

At this time, I am not comfortable sharing the details of all these trials. Perhaps one day I might. You could legitimately then ask, well then Megan, what is the point of this post? You're raising more questions than you are answering! For the time being, I would like to share a tiny pinprick of hope I experienced in the midst of this life valley. Perhaps if you had a year like I did, this post might give you hope as well.

This past Sunday at church, the sermon covered Joshua 1:1-9. I read ahead through chapter three to get the full picture of this story. In these chapters, the Israelites are poised right outside the Promised Land, waiting to enter. But in this crucial moment, their beloved leader Moses, the man who led them out of Egypt and brought the Ten Commandments down from God, died. Joshua, Moses' right-hand man, now had to step up and lead right after losing one of the most-important people in his life. I can't imagine what kind of fear and sorrow Joshua was experiencing when God called him to be "strong and courageous".

I'm sure Joshua was also worried when he saw the obstacle he would have to lead the Israelites across to reach the Promised Land: the Jordan river, swollen past its normal size by flooding. Moses had led the Israelites across the Red Sea during the Exodus. No doubt Joshua wondered if he could do the same across the Jordan. Joshua was no Moses, but God had called him nonetheless.

Though I am not leading God's chosen people, I feel a little bit like Joshua these days. I'm reeling from grief about how I wished life would have gone. All I can see at this point is the swollen waters of my own personal Jordan river. The river is so wide, I can't see across it to the future. The river is so deep, I'm afraid I'll drown in it. I feel so powerless in the face of these waters...what can I even do?

Here's what God told Joshua to do in Joshua 1:2 (KJV): "Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan..."When I heard this verse, it was like God said to me, "this year is over. What is done is done. Now arise, and cross the river Jordan". God told me to move forward to the Promised Land.

Even as I was writing this post and looking up the specific words in Joshua 1:2, another passage jumped at me: "This is what the Lord says - He who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, 'Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland". Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 (NIV).

So what does this all mean. What is the point? The point is, life is hard. We live in a broken world. Things often do not go as we wish. But we must move forward. We must arise, and cross the river Jordan. For God is making a path through the wilderness. If you continue to read in Joshua, God halts the flow of the Jordan river all together so the Israelites can pass. The waters pile up, but God's mighty hand keeps them in their place. Joshua and the Israelites cross safely into the next part of their journey.

My prayer is the same. To cross this river Jordan into the new year, with hope that God is doing a mighty work in the Walker family. I don't know what this "new thing" is yet, but if God is in it, how can it be bad? If you are also glad to leave 2015 far behind, cross this river with me!

The Pentecostal Shepherd

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Tue, 15 Dec 2015 16:25:00 +0000

This past weekend, I helped with the children's Christmas play at my church called "Hark the Herald Angel". It was an adorable affair filled with sweet children, music and beautiful sets. I've never seen a church commit so wholeheartedly to their drama team! I mean look at the fantastic set in the picture above...that's a hand-painted backdrop and real hay! We covered the middle "heaven" portion with batting to look like clouds. As a member of the church drama team and a lover of theatre in general, it makes my heart happy to see things like this.

Last year when we did a dinner theatre show with a nautical theme, some church members built a set like a cruise ship complete with railings. I was so impressed, and still am, with the talents at Southpoint Baptist. These people so willingly give from the gifts God gave them.

For the Christmas play, I was asked to help finalize the set decoration and wrangle the little ones during the dress rehearsal and show. In a genius move, the little children played the characters from the nativity scene. I mean, how cute is that??? A lady from the church sewed all the nativity costumes. The sheep in particular were ADORABLE! I wish I could post a picture, but I didn't think posting a picture of other people's children would be appropriate...but trust me on the sweetness! The sheep wore white zip-up suits with hoods, plus black socks on their hands and feet to look like hooves. Oh man, it was cute.

During the final scene when the angels were singing the finale song, one of the little shepherds on the stage hopped up and started dancing to the music. Of course, his enthusiasm stole the show. Our pastor lovingly referred to him as a "Pentecostal shepherd" during his final words. I thought, if Pentecostals are like this, maybe we Baptists should take some notes! There is nothing better than watching a little child express their love for life. That little boy loved the music so much, he couldn't help but move. I thought how much of that enthusiasm adults lose as we slog through the responsibilities of life.

There's no better time than Christmas to recapture some of that childhood love for life. The twinkling lights, piping hot chocolate and food your mom used to make create a time warp we can all jump in. Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I think we can all take a lesson from the Pentecostal shepherd and take a moment to enjoy the blessings God gives. Those blessings are there, if we will only take a moment to dance!

Florida Finally Feels Like Home

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 18:02:00 +0000

Merry Christmas, y'all!

Growing up, one of my favorite Christmas traditions was getting a new ornament. My parents would take my siblings and me to Hallmark and we would choose our ornament for that year. By the time I moved out of the house, I basically had a tree-full of ornaments with lots of special memories attached.

As I've gotten older, I find myself buying ornaments to sum up my year. It's all part of attaching new special memories since I have started my own family. (Now what did my ornament from last year, Belle from Beauty and the Beast, say about 2014? No idea, except I have a very understanding husband and I LOVE Beauty and the Beast : )

I can say with full honesty 2015 is the first year I feel like Florida is home. Up until now, I felt like I was a tourist in a foreign land waiting until my exile could end. Boy, did I have the wrong attitude. I had already softened up to Jacksonville, but circumstances taught me Florida could be more than a pleasant place to live if I would let it.

The first thing to make a difference was joining my church here in Jacksonville. Jared is usually working on Sundays, so I've been using the opportunity to involve myself in a church which is incredibly important to me. I suddenly became a part of a family and found a place not only to worship, but to serve my community.

A couple of months ago, with the holidays looming, Jared and I tried to start planning what we would do for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Residency is so unkind when it comes to the holidays, I have to tell you. It's not even that I feel entitled to celebrate the holidays on the actual day. No, it's more like I would love to see my husband and family at all during the holiday season. For awhile, it looked like we would be in Jacksonville not only for Thanksgiving, but for all of Christmas as well. Seeing family looked like a very small possibility, especially since airfare is so dang expensive.

I mourned for a little bit, and then I got on my knees and did what I should have done in the first place: ask God to provide a family for me. Residency has taught me to expand my definition of family, so I asked God to help. I didn't even know how He would answer my prayer. As the Bible says, God often gives us more than we can ask for or imagine.

First of all, two of our dear friends from church took us out the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We had a great time just hanging out and enjoying each other's company. I realized how loved I felt.

A wonderful family from church invited both Jared and me to their home for Thanksgiving. Surprise upon surprise, Jared didn't have to work until 7 pm that night, so he could participate in the Thanksgiving meal. I thought it might be awkward intruding on this family's traditions, but it was the exact opposite. Before lunch was ready, many of us stood in the kitchen chatting and snacking on deviled eggs. That's exactly what my family does! I realized again how loved I felt in that moment. You don't feel those kinds of feelings unless you are home.

As for Christmas, Jared will be working quite a bit, but has some time off the following week. His parents are coming to visit us! We will be flying to Houston to see my family the second week of January, right before my birthday. Even though Christmas will technically be over, I will still get to celebrate my birthday with my family.

All in all, family of all kinds abounds in the Walker household. God is good. He understands the deepest desires of our hearts. To commemorate all of these blessings, I HAD to get a Florida ornament this year. Every time I look at it, I will be reminded of God's faithfulness and the power of family. Remember, family is who you choose and who chooses you.

Merry Christmas!

Bahamas Cruise 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Sat, 21 Nov 2015 15:04:00 +0000

Jared and I were fortunate enough this week to check off a huge item on our Florida bucket list: go on a cruise! Back in August when we learned Jared's first vacation week of the year would fall Nov. 16-20, we decided to do something fabulous as a couple. The second year of residency has been more challenging than both of us hoped, so what better way to recharge than to stick our toes in the white sands of the Bahamas?

We chose Royal Caribbean based on friends' recommendations and were not disappointed. I dug out my old point-and-shoot camera from college to document our trip.

Port Canaveral

First sighting of our cruise ship at the terminal

One perk of living in Florida is our proximity to so many cruising ports. For our first cruise, we decided to go out of Port Canaveral near Orlando, about two-and-a-half hours from Jacksonville. It's basically a straight shot down I-95.

Since this was my first cruise, I had no idea what to expect with check-in. Royal Caribbean did an excellent job of making the entire process smooth. We checked our bags with the porters outside the terminal and went through security. Since we were sailing to The Bahamas, we had to bring passports and go through customs. The entire process was very smooth, much like going through the airport.

On the ship, we used a card called a SeaPass for all security access and payment. The card made everything very efficient. Once we received our SeaPasses, we were able to board the ship. Our stateroom wasn't ready for another hour, so we lugged our carry-ons to the ninth deck for lunch.

The Departure

Top: waiting on the bridge to board! Bottom: we found a quiet place to watch the world go by

Leaving the channel and out to sea!

Aboard the Ship

We talked with a lot of passengers on the ship who had cruised on other lines before. One of the best things they ALL had to say about Royal Caribbean is you can make the vacation whatever kind of experience you want. Whether you want to party all the time, relax or do something in between, you have the choice. Jared and I really found that to be true. We really enjoyed the wide variety of activities, including singing a duet of "Summer Nights" from Grease during karaoke and being featured as the newlywed couple (under five years) in the Love and Marriage game show. (Jared and I were minor celebrities aboard after that, haha! It was so embarrassing!).

Our four-day cruise was supposed to stop at Coco Cay, a private island owned by Royal Caribbean, on Tuesday and cruise to Nassau, The Bahamas, on Wednesday. Thursday was supposed to be our sea day on the way back to Port Canaveral. Due to extremely high winds, the ship couldn't anchor at Coco Cay on Tuesday. When the captain tells you this massive ship has been dragging its anchor all over the bottom of the ocean, you know those are some strong winds! So we skipped Coco Cay that day and sailed on for Nassau. Jared and I made the most of our time aboard!

The Centrum, the social hub of the ship

Cupcake decorating class! I tried to decorate mine (far left) with an "M" and "J"...Jared made a Christmas tree!

Arrival in Nassau the night of Day 1...with a pina colada!

Living Aboard

The ultimate perk of cruising? Never having to worry where your next meal will come from. Jared and I enjoyed so much delicious food, especially at dinnertime. In fact, a favorite saying around the ship? "You'll walk on as a passenger and we'll roll you off as cargo". Fortunately, we walked off, but you get the idea...so much delicious food! At dinner, the portions were small, so you could try anything which struck your fancy.

Formal night

As for our stateroom, it felt a little bit like living in an RV for four days. The stateroom was perfectly comfortable, but still compact like an RV. Jared and I spent most of our time around the ship or ashore, so we used our stateroom as a welcome place to rest. We did have a fabulous stateroom attendant who kept our room spotless and offered us first-time cruisers lots of tips.

Loved all the towel animals! Jared and I were going through Henry withdrawals, so we called this guy "High Seas Henry"

Nassau, The Bahamas

With our itinerary change, we arrived in Nassau a day earlier. Jared and I didn't go ashore until Wednesday. We did a glass bottom boat tour of the harbor outside Nassau and got to see some underwater life.

Nassau had such colorful architecture. From the boat, our guide showed us the TWO homes owned by Oprah. One is her house and one is the guest house, apparently (bottom middle). It was difficult to get a good picture of the fish in the dark environment above the glass bottom, but by Jared's reaction, you can tell it was cool!

After the exceptional glass bottom boat tour, our experience in Nassau went downhill. Nassau is huge in tax-free, duty-free shopping. Since Jared and I weren't in the market for any diamonds, designer goods, or straw accessories, there wasn't much for us to see. Plus, the local people know you're a tourist, so they try to get you to buy anything imaginable.

We did go to a local craft brewery and enjoyed a sampler, but after that, we were ready to head back to the ship!

Coco Cay

Thursday morning, we swung back around and were able to anchor at Coco Cay. The wind was still pretty strong, but at least we got to go for beach day. Jared and I had booked a snorkeling adventure, which neither of us had ever done before, so we were excited to give it a try.

Loved snorkeling! Jared and I both saw lots of fish. The waves were high, so it was a little rough, but well worth it

Perfect beach day

Overall, beach day was one of our favorite experiences!

The Verdict?

Jared and I had an amazing vacation. The best part, of course, was having almost an entire week together with no responsibilities, no chores and no worries except what to pick for dinner that night. Sometimes, you just need a fabulous getaway. I definitely want to write another post of tips I picked up as a first-time cruiser and share a few funny memories!

Fallish Comfort Food

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Thu, 12 Nov 2015 23:08:00 +0000

One thing this native Texan loves about Florida? THE WEATHER! Besides the humidity, I have never lived in a place with such killer weather. Case in point: it feels like spring here rather than fall, or even almost winter. We have had temperatures in the mid-70's or low 80's for awhile now, and I am loving every minute. If I'm not spoiled by this weather, I don't know what I am!

Since there hasn't been a real "fall" season here yet, I'm celebrating "Fallish" instead. How do I like to celebrate Fallish? By doing a lot of regular fall activities like eating comfort food. I've been pulling a lot of soups out of my recipe book lately and trying others I find online.

My favorite soup right now comes from one of my ABSOLUTE favorite food blogs, Gimme Some Oven. I'm very picky when it comes to trying new recipes because I like my food very flavorful, with lots of spices. I can generally read a recipe and tell if the food is going to be bland or not. The thing I like best about Gimme Some Oven is the recipes often call for very fresh ingredients or interesting techniques I haven't heard of before.

Case in point: Slow Cooker Chicken Tortilla Soup.

Via

I love to use the slow cooker in the fall, especially on Sundays. I'll go to church, come home and fill my slow cooker with goodies, then take a nap : ) This particular recipe intrigued me because it called for seasoning the soup by putting a dried chile on top of the ingredients while they cooked. I was skeptical the dried chile would add flavor that way, but it did! The resulting soup was tasty.

One of my two favorite recipes from this blog, and the one I've really been enjoying during this Fallish season, is Cheesy Enchilada Soup.

Via

Have you ever had the enchilada soup from Chili's? I originally tried this recipe because I LOVE the enchilada soup at Chili's, and wanted to make it at home. I tried one other recipe before which turned out horribly. What intrigued me about this recipe is the use of homemade enchilada sauce (really easy to make, and tastes so much better than any canned sauce, particularly if you use good chile powder) and masa harina.

Masa harina is corn flour, basically a finely ground cornmeal. It gives the soup the corn tortilla flavor you would normally get from a pan of enchiladas. I mean, isn't that genius??? If you love enchiladas, but don't like the assembly, give this soup a try.

One tip: this recipe calls for chicken. I usually roast two chicken breasts with olive oil, salt and pepper at 350 degrees for 35 minutes. Gives you perfect roast chicken for other recipes every time! I learned that foundational recipe from Ina Garten : )

What's your favorite Fallish food?

Trunk or Treat

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 18:32:00 +0000

Confession: I am not really a fan of Halloween. I just think the world is scary enough, why devote a holiday to celebrating gore and fear? Thankfully, though, there is a lighter side to Halloween I can enjoy with candy, happy children and costumes. This year, Jared and I decided to celebrate Halloween by participating in our church's annual Trunk or Treat.

I had never heard of Trunk or Treat before moving to Jacksonville, but it's mobile trick or treating! At our church, members decorated their car trunks with a theme and invited the community to trick or treat. Jared and I went with a 50's Sock Hop Party theme.

Ready to start our party!

My handsome date to the Sock Hop...he played some "Grease" soundtrack for me! Of course, I had to sing along and teach him the hand jive

We had a "Greased Lightning" theme going on, plus a cute tray shaped like a record for candy

We estimated 300+ people came through the Trunk or Treat, so I would call that a success! I wish I could have gotten more pictures of some of the other amazing trunks...I think this is my new favorite Halloween tradition. Residency doesn't give you the luxury of time together, but it does help you savor the special moments. This is one of my favorite residency memories with Jared.

Playing Chicken

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Tue, 27 Oct 2015 21:10:00 +0000

I never had much interest in cooking growing up. I dabbled in baking and became pretty adept at homemade chocolate chip cookies, but otherwise, I didn't really care. That changed after I graduated from college and moved into my first apartment as a single girl. Now that I had my own kitchen, I decided I might as well use it and start learning how to cook.

Ina Garten from Barefoot Contessa on Food Network is actually the person who first inspired me to cook with her, "now how easy was that?" Her food always turned out so delicious on TV and thankfully, her recipes are pretty foolproof. Best of all, she tells you how much salt and pepper to add so you can start to develop your palette.

Once Jared and I got engaged, I REALLY had to step up my cooking game. Suddenly I was cooking dinner almost every night for a man who LOVED to eat. Jared ate way more than me, and I quickly realized my single girl routine of half cooking, half eating out would no longer work as a married girl. Too expensive! Plus, seeing how loved Jared felt when I cooked for him motivated me to learn even more.

This handsome man loves to eat

Right out of the gate, I decided to tackle the holy grail meal for Jared: roast chicken. I watched Ina do it on her show, and I just knew I could pull it off. One of Jared's favorite foods is chicken drumsticks, so I was excited to prepare my man a treat.

Well...the roast chicken was an utter disaster, And I mean, UTTER DISASTER. I bought the whole chicken frozen, and didn't defrost it enough. Somehow the outside portion I could feel defrosted, but the interior was still frozen. I didn't know until I cut into the chicken later and saw huge portions of half-cooked meat. I roasted vegetables under the chicken per the recipe, and they turned mealy because the chicken never really came up to temperature. The recipe said to cut into the skin between the body and the leg to check doneness, and if the juice ran clear, it was done. Of course I didn't know if "clear" meant like chicken stock or water. I went with chicken stock, and was obviously wrong.

And speaking of cutting into the chicken...Ina made it look effortless to carve her whole chicken, but once I got that bad boy out of the oven, I realized I had no idea how to even begin. I basically hacked the half-cooked meat off the carcass. WHAT A DISASTER!!!

Thankfully for me, the only portion of the chicken that was salvageable were the drumsticks! Jared happily ate the drumsticks and the best of the vegetables and called the meal a success. (What a good man, by the way). I, on the other hand, was mortified. I had thought my cooking chops were up the challenge...

Five years later, I am up for the challenge again. This time, I have five years of cooking experience under my belt, plus a secret weapon:

My ally

I got this thermometer when I cooked a turkey breast for Thanksgiving last year, and it was been a godsend in terms of cooking meat properly. I didn't know such as thing as meat thermometers existed when I first tried roasting chicken. I was very intimidated to cook even a turkey breast, but thanks to the thermometer, it came out perfectly.

Since the roast chicken disaster, I've also done research to fix what I did wrong the first time. Obviously, it's important to defrost your meat properly. This time, I bought the whole chicken fresh and didn't freeze it at all, just to be safe. Ina also mentioned on her show once the size of the roasting pan is important. If the pan is too big, the vegetables won't cook right. This time, as recommended, I'm using a pan just big enough for the vegetables and chicken.

Did I redeem myself...?

God speed, little guy

How do I know the chicken is done?? The right temperature!

Ready to carve

Even redeemed my carving job...not too bad!

And the veggies? Perfectly cooked! I had to cook them about 15 minutes longer without the chicken on top. But at least this time, I knew I could do that!

REDEMPTION!!!

There's another couple of things I might tweak the next time I roast a chicken, but overall, I call this attempt a rousing success. Jared, of course, was thrilled with his drumsticks : )

Junior Year

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Sat, 24 Oct 2015 20:19:00 +0000

Jared and I are almost halfway through the second year of residency.

It's wild to meet the new interns and realize my husband helps supervise them, because he has a year of experience under his belt. (In the real world, a year of experience wouldn't translate to a supervisory role. Boy, the medical world sure operates differently! You can't even imagine how many hours of work are packed into a year of medical experience...). We are reaching the time when we have to start asking ourselves questions about the future like, where do we want to go? What do we want our family to look like? What is the next step?

These are all questions for our Junior Year.

For me, Junior Year has brought the opportunity to change course. I worked at a hospital as the surgical liaison, ensuring communication flowed smoothly between the surgery department and surgeons to patient family members, for about a year. Then when I saw Jared for 30 minutes in five days one week, it became very obvious this schedule no longer worked for our family. Jared usually works during the weekends and is off randomly during the week, which means I never saw him. One day, it became abundantly clear that time is more precious than money at this point in our lives.

So I quit. I miss the relationships I built at the hospital, but I still volunteer at the front desk there so I can interact with the people I love. If the traditional career path is not ideal right now, then what am I doing? (I get that question a lot!).

I decided to go back to school and pursue a graduate degree in Human Resources. I have a bachelor's degree in Public Relations, and Human Resources seemed like the next logical place for my career to go. I am going to do an online program through the University of Texas at Tyler for the flexibility and the credibility of the University of Texas name (I'm still a Red Raider to the core though!!!). I start classes in the spring. I am nervous to go back to school, but also ready for the opportunity to invest in my personal growth and interests. Sometimes I feel like Megan gets a little lost on this journey to become a doctor, so I am doing something about it.

What does this increased flexibility get me? Well, for one thing, it allows family trips to the beach. It's easy to be a good photographer when the backdrop is so flawless!!

While I no longer operate in the blogosphere per se, I am really interested in turning this blog into a way to update people on the Walkers. Some of my favorite blogs are written by my friends about their lives. It lets me keep up with them in this busy world!

So look for more updates from the Walkers. Here's to Junior Year!

Puppies & Planes

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 29 Dec 2014 12:50:00 +0000

For Christmas 2014, Jared and I flew to Houston to be with my family.

Christmas selfie!

We decided to take Henry with us because honestly, we like having the little guy around. Henry has some pretty bad separation anxiety, especially in new situations, so I did what I could to prepare us and him for the trip.

First, I did some research and discovered it's fairly easy to fly with a pet on Southwest, our airline of choice. To try and ensure success, I picked a nonstop flight to and from Houston. I didn't want Henry to have to suffer through layovers if possible. You do have to call Southwest to make your reservation with a pet rather than doing it online. Jared took care of this, and it was a painless process. You also have to pay a $95 fee both directions. It's up to you if this fee is worth it, but for us, it was!

One important rule of traveling with a pet is they MUST be in an approved crate at all times. Jared and I thought Henry's hard-sided crate would be just fine, because it's small just like him. Unfortunately, we got a bit of a rude awakening when we checked in at the Jacksonville airport. Apparently, our crate was too big, so we had to purchase a soft-sided Southwest one on the spot. Jared and I saw no such requirement for a soft-sided crate on the Web site, but apparently, it is a rule. We saw soft-sided crates much bigger than our hard-sided one being admitted, so rule of thumb: travel with a soft-sided crate!

Unfortunately, we had to stuff Henry into this new crate in a new environment, which he did NOT like. Fortunately, the noise of the airport and the plane drowned out his protests. Towards the end of the flight, he finally calmed down.

The return flight went much more smoothly. Henry was more comfortable with his new crate and knew what to expect, so he sat quietly until the very end of our flight. Overall, it was a fairly pleasant experience and I would certainly do it again.

So if you're planning to fly with a pet on Southwest, here is what I recommend:

Try and book nonstop flights if possible.
Call Southwest to make your reservation.
Purchase a soft-sided crate and give your pet time to acclimate to it. It also helps to put toys and blankets they are familiar with in the crate with them.
Make sure they take a good potty before going through security, because there's no where to go once you get to the gate!

Have you flown with a pet before? Any tips to share?

A Christmas Tradition Revisited + A Link Up!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 22 Dec 2014 12:50:00 +0000

Remember when I made the commitment to Just Say Yes? Well on December 14, my commitment led me to participate in a Christmas tradition very close to my heart: the annual Christmas play. Guess who I played?

Mary!

When I was very little, I played Mary at my church in Borger, Texas. Even at the time, I remember approaching the role with reverence because I was going to play the mother of baby Jesus! My mother was one of the most important people in my life at the time (and still is), so even my little mind could comprehend the honor of playing Jesus' mother. In fact, I didn't want to let the baby doll standing in for baby Jesus go after the performance!

Besides playing Mary, I also sang a solo to open the performance. I haven't sang a solo since elementary school...I think...needless to say, I was extremely nervous. For some reason, I can speak and act in front of any number of people with no issue. But when you ask me to sing a solo in front of the same crowd, I am absolutely terrified.

I didn't help that during dress rehearsal, my mouth and throat dried out from fear. I started missing notes I had easily achieved during practice at home. My eyes filled with tears because I was going to let the play down!!! I was opening the show with my crappy solo. But more than that, I was so frustrated I couldn't control my fear.

But I sang that solo on Sunday night. And you know how I did it? By the encouragement of my good friends at church who reminded me God only asks us for a willing heart. He never asks us to do anything He will not prepare us for. And I knew deep down God wanted me to do this solo, to confront my fear and use my voice to honor Him. Part of my discouragement with the solo came from the fear of dishonoring myself and my fellow performers with a bad performance. But what I needed to be reminded of is this performance wasn't for them or me. It was for God. As long as my heart was in the right place, God would honor that effort.

So with a trembling heart, I walked out on that stage and sang. In my own ears, my voice faded in and out of key. But towards the end, I gained strength and heard my voice ring loud and clear. Several people congratulated me on a wonderful performance after the show. To me, the performance was mediocre. But to them, it sounded like a song which honored the Lord. And that is was matters.

So what Christmas traditions will you be revisiting this week? I'm partnering with Lewis Lane Designs, The Adventures of Noble & Pond, and A Savory Feast to find out! Link up your Christmas-related posts below:

Let Me Tell You About...My Favorite Christmas Ornament

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Thu, 04 Dec 2014 12:50:00 +0000

One of the Christmas traditions most ingrained in my memory involves my favorite ornament, this little baby Jesus.

My parents had this ornament for as long as I can remember. I'm sure it came from a Nativity set somewhere along the way, but for some reason, baby Jesus lost Mary and Joseph. I gladly pulled him out of the decorations box each Christmas and took immense joy in placing baby Jesus on our tree. To me, the tree wasn't done until baby Jesus took his place of honor. I loved putting the ornament on the tree so much, my parents reserved the honor just for me each year.

When I moved out of my parents' house, my mom gave me a box with all the Christmas decorations I had accumulated over the year, plus baby Jesus. When Jared and I decorated our tree this past Friday (I did it as soon as I could!), baby Jesus once again took His place of honor. A lot of special memories are wrapped up in those swaddling clothes, and I'm sure many more are to come.

What is the one ornament you need on your tree every year?

Turkeyphobia

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Walker) — Mon, 01 Dec 2014 12:50:00 +0000

As I mentioned before, the Walkers hosted our first Friendsgiving this year comprised of some good friends we have made through Jared's residency program. As hostess, I offered to make the turkey...which immediately set me into fits of panic.

While I had never roasted a turkey before, I had roasted a whole chicken...and it was a dismal failure. I attempted this feat when Jared and I were engaged. Jared loves roast chicken legs, so I decided to make him a special meal. The problem was, I didn't thaw the bird properly, so it didn't cook right in the oven. Only the legs cooked properly, ironically enough. Jared was happy, but I was scarred by how fine a line you have to walk when roasting a whole bird.

Besides my traumatic past with whole birds, I suppose my fear of cooking the turkey also involved the responsibility of cooking the centerpiece. My lovely friends were bringing delicious side dishes and desserts to complete the meal, but I was responsible for the anchor. I mean, what do people think first when they consider the Thanksgiving meal? TURKEY!

I gathered advice from a lot of different people before I decided to cook a turkey breast instead of the whole bird. The breast would be easier to carve and more appropriate for the amount of people at Thanksgiving. (And bonus, no giblets!). I decided to use Barefoot Contessa's herb roasted turkey breast recipe, because her recipes are basically foolproof. And that's what I needed.

The turkey, ready for the oven! I forgot I didn't have a roasting stand, so I improvised...

I also bought a special thermometer which alerts you when the turkey reaches the necessary temperature. No food poisoning at my Thanksgiving!

Once the turkey went in the oven, I felt like I could breathe again. I had done everything I could do. Now, I just had to wait for the turkey to reach the correct temperature and take it out.

When my friends started to arrive for Thanksgiving, they piled their delicious-looking dishes in my kitchen. My friend Stephanie brought a ham to take some of the pressure off the turkey as well. Right before we started eating, Stephanie, who had made a sweet potato soufflé, said this was her first time making it, so please judge kindly! My friend Kristin said the same thing about her pumpkin pie and brussel sprouts with balsamic glaze.

Listening to them, I realized turkeyphobia is not exclusive to the person making the turkey. It extends to everyone who has a part in the Thanksgiving meal, because we all want it to be perfect. We all want to honor our childhood memories and the incredible meals our grandparents and parents have created before us. We all want a semblance of tradition, even though residency has made that impossible for the time being.

And you know what, everything was delicious. We all enjoyed that down-home, comforting Thanksgiving meal we thought we wouldn't have away from our families this year. I realized my turkeyphobia was completely misplaced. Instead of worrying about the turkey, I should have spent my time being grateful for the incredible people Jared and I have met in Florida. While I certainly missed my family back home in Texas, I feel so thankful to have had a Friendsgiving this year.