SUNSHINE

Skills You Need to Thrive in Life

2017-09-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

What does it take to thrive? A positive attitude? Well, sure, but that’s hardly enough. The Law of Attraction? The Secret? These ideas might act as spurs to action, but without the action itself, they don’t do much.

Success, however it’s defined, takes action, and taking good and appropriate action takes skills. Some of these skills (not enough, though) are taught in school (not well enough, either), others are taught on the job, and still others we learn from general life experience.

Below is a list of general skills that will help anyone get ahead in practically any field, from running a company to running a gardening club. Of course, there are skills specific to each field as well – but my concern here is with the skills that translate across disciplines, the ones that can be learned by anyone in any position.

1. Public Speaking

The ability to speak clearly, persuasively, and forcefully in front of an audience – whether an audience of 1 or of thousands – is one of the most important skills anyone can develop. People who are effective speakers come across as more comfortable with themselves, more confident, and more attractive to be around. Being able to speak effectively means you can sell anything – products, of course, but also ideas, ideologies, worldviews. And yourself – which means more opportunities for career advancement, bigger clients, or business funding.

2. Writing

Writing well offers many of the same advantages that speaking well offers: good writers are better at selling products, ideas, and themselves than poor writers. Learning to write well involves not just mastery of grammar but the development of the ability to organize one’s thoughts into a coherent form and target it to an audience in the most effective way possible. Given the huge amount of text generated by almost every transaction – from court briefs and legislation running into the thousands of pages to those foot-long receipts you get when you buy gum these days – a person who is a master of the written word can expect doors to open in just about every field.

3. Self-Management

If success depends on effective action, effective action depends on the ability to focus your attention where it is needed most, when it is needed most. Strong organizational skills, effective productivity habits, and a strong sense of discipline are needed to keep yourself on track.

4. Networking

Networking is not only for finding jobs or clients. In an economy dominated by ideas and innovation, networking creates the channel through which ideas flow and in which new ideas are created. A large network, carefully cultivated, ties one into not just a body of people but a body of relationships, and those relationships are more than just the sum of their parts. The interactions those relationships make possible give rise to innovation and creativity – and provide the support to nurture new ideas until they can be realized.

5. Critical Thinking

We are exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of times more information on a daily basis than our great-grandparents were. Being able to evaluate that information, sort the potentially valuable from the trivial, analyze its relevance and meaning, and relate it to other information is crucial – and woefully under-taught. Good critical thinking skills immediately distinguish you from the mass of people these days.

6. Decision-Making

The bridge that leads from analysis to action is effective decision-making– knowing what to do based on the information available. While not being critical can be dangerous, so too can over-analyzing, or waiting for more information before making a decision. Being able to take in the scene and respond quickly and effectively is what separates the doers from the wannabes.

7. Numerical Ability

You don’t have to be able to integrate polynomials to be successful. However, the ability to quickly work with figures in your head, to make rough but fairly accurate estimates, and to understand things like compound interest and basic statistics gives you a big lead on most people. All of these skills will help you to analyze data more effectively – and more quickly – and to make better decisions based on it.

8. Research

Nobody can be expected to know everything, or even a tiny fraction of everything. Even within your field, chances are there’s far more that you don’t know than you do know. You don’t have to know everything – but you should be able to quickly and painlessly find out what you need to know. That means learning to use the Internet effectively, learning to use a library, learning to read productively, and learning how to leverage your network of contacts – and what kinds of research are going to work best in any given situation.

9. Relaxation

Stress will not only kill you, it leads to poor decision-making, poor thinking, and poor socialization. So be failing to relax, you knock out at least three of the skills in this list – and really more. Plus, working yourself to death in order to keep up, and not having any time to enjoy the fruits of your work, isn’t really “success”. It’s obsession. Being able to face even the most pressing crises with your wits about you and in the most productive way is possibly the most important thing on this list.

10. Basic Accounting

It is a simple fact in our society that money is necessary. Even the simple pleasures in life, like hugging your child, ultimately need money – or you’re not going to survive to hug for very long. Knowing how to track and record your expenses and income is important just to survive, let alone to thrive. But more than that, the principles of accounting apply more widely to things like tracking the time you spend on a project or determining whether the value of an action outweighs the costs in money, time, and effort. It’s a shame that basic accounting isn’t a required part of the core primary school curriculum.

What Else?

Surely there are more important skills I’m not thinking of (which is probably why I’m not telling Aliko Dangote what to do!) – What are they? What have I missed? What lessons have you learned that were key to your successes – and what have you ignored to your peril?

What Leader Profile Are You?

2017-08-25T11:19:00.002-07:00

A sense of real frustration had set in. The team wasn't meeting the expectations I had for them and not one team member seemed to be getting better. It felt as though we were stuck in quicksand with no relief in sight. So I did what most inexperienced leaders do, made changes on the team.

"Holding people accountable for their behavior is an act of love."

From the research survey results, five distinct leader profiles became evident depending on the levels of love and discipline a leader leveraged.

1. Exploiter
The exploiter at their core thinks about themselves before others. The idea of leadership being about serving and empowering others doesn't make sense to them until their team starts to rebel, and even then they just blame others. They rarely get maximum effort from their team. You could easily spot an exploiter if you looked at the browsing history of their team because it would be filled with glassdoor.com, monster.com or LinkedIn messages from recruiters.
Scores low in love and discipline
Rarely loved by their direct reports
Highly driven by financial success

2. Pleaser

The pleaser tends to avoid conflict at all costs and prefers the sensation of harmony. They rarely give constructive feedback or hold people accountable in fear they might upset those that they lead. Pleasers also tend to be okay with mediocre performance for an extended period of time.
Scores high in love, low in discipline.
May get taken advantage of by their direct reports.
Often passed over for promotions.
3. Ruler

Rulers love authority and people tend to follow them because of fear. They rely heavily on rules/processes and live by the motto, "my way or the highway." Conflict might as well be their middle name, because the minute they sense their control or power is being eroded they know it.
Scores high in discipline, low in love.
Driven by a set rule-book. Rigid.
Typically gets good or bad results quickly.
4. Dabbler

The dabbler tends to have good relationships with their people, just not great. They usually meet team goals and objectives but never blow them out of the water. One common complaint we hear from people who report to a Dabbler is, "Not sure exactly what leader is going to walk through the door today."
Score middle of the road on discipline and love
Leverages both love and discipline just not always enough
Gets good results, not great
5. Welder

The welder profile got its name because much like a welder these leaders simultaneously bring together love and discipline at high levels. These leaders have low turnover rates and their people often will follow them to different roles when they get promoted or take a new job. They also create more leaders, not more followers and consistently get above average or great results.
Scores high in discipline and love.
Has deep relationship with their direct reports.
Sustains long-term success and results.

The best news is no matter what leader profile you most identify with, leadership is a journey and not a destination. You can begin changing your mindset and your actions to become a better leader today.

How to Pitch Your Idea to Investors in Minutes

2017-08-10T12:33:00.002-07:00

As a young prospective entrepreneur without capital, you need investors to raise money to bring your idea to life. A good investment boosts your moral; it also gives you this extra motivation seeing that someone actually believes in you.

Also, if you wish that your idea/startup must live beyond you, seeking investments from outside source helps make this a possibility.

Another important reason we need investors is for growth. Maybe, you already have your business off the ground and it has been widely accepted, you need funds to grow the business so you can meet demands, beat competition and expand

How do you pitch your idea to an investor?

Anyone willing to invest has profit at the back of their minds. An individual investor wants his money to make more money in the nearest future, the government wants you to start making money so you can not only reduce the problem of unemployment but also to pay taxes when your business starts generating profits.

That being said, you need to prove to any investor that their money and time will not be a waste (wasted effort). First, you must be confident and believe in yourself.

“The mind is everything. What you think, you become.” – Budha.

So to convince an investor, here are my best 5 tips to pitch your idea in 5 minutes.

1. Start by telling them the origination of your idea and why you believe so much in it.

2. Tell them the problems your idea can solve.

3. If you already started but need expansion, tell them about your success with verifiable facts and why you need their money.

4. Explain the niche and market, and if there are competitors, vividly state how you can offer the market a better product/service thereby outwitting competition.

5. Tell them how you plan to assemble your marketing team, finance department and most importantly, how they will be getting their ROI.

These are my best suggestions to any entrepreneur seeking funding from investors, but remember, your appearance, countenance and boldness matters a lot. Those can best be achieved if you really know what you are doing and how passionate you are about your idea/startup.

Source Naija NEXT Entrepreneur

Creating A Personal Branding Plan in 30 Minutes

2017-07-13T12:20:00.002-07:00

You're ready to make a career move—maybe you’re looking for a new job, launching a side business, or eyeing a promotion. In all of these instances, boosting your personal brand can help you achieve your goal.

That’s because a strong personal brand is a carefully designed message that’s compelling and attracts the right people. It helps you stand out for who you are and what you do best.

You’re probably nodding along, because you already know all of this. You don’t need to be convinced how valuable personal branding is: What’s holding you back is the time commitment.

That’s why you have a LinkedIn Profile, even though you haven’t updated it since you set it up. After all, who can devote hours each week on top of working or job searching? Well, believe it or not, 30 minutes is all you need to take your efforts to the next level. Here’s how to spend them:

Minutes 1-10: Evaluate What Makes You Stand Out

The first thing you want to do is perform a self-assessment. This step is often overlooked, but it’ll be super helpful as you find your voice in a sea of professionals with similar experience.

This evaluation helps you have a clear vision of your USP, or “unique selling proposition,” which is just a fancy term for the value you offer to your target audience.

Here are some questions to get you started:

1. What are you passionate about? You want to think about what excites you, and what things you truly enjoy doing.

2. What are your core beliefs? This is important because it’s like a mission statement. It’ll help you relay your personal approach to getting things done.

3. What are your top four strengths? This’ll help you share what you do better than anyone else, to set you apart from the competition.

4. Are you a good leader or a good doer—or both? This is good to know because it’s a way to identify and highlight the kind of roles that complement your strengths.

5. What do others say about you? Ask around! You may have strengths you’re unaware of, or talents you need to put more emphasis on so people know they exist.

To be clear, I don’t expect you to answer these questions with witty taglines. This exercise is to help you target your branding efforts. So, answer the question(s) that inspire you by jotting down notes, and honestly writing what comes to mind.

Minutes 10-20: Compare That to What You Already Have

Now that you’ve done some reflection on what you want to say, it’s time to see how it stacks up against what’s already out there.

If someone were to read your LinkedIn profile, tweets, or personal website, would they see messaging that points them toward the answers you came up with?

You might be thinking: Wait, I only have 10 minutes, that’s not enough time to read my whole website or review my LinkedIn line by line. But, here’s the thing, people who click into one of your social profiles or visit your website are probably going to spend a fraction of that time looking at it.

So, you want to look for things that shout what you do. On LinkedIn, that means moving beyond filling out the basics and adding links to media, writing posts, and getting endorsements for skills. On your website, that might mean building a portfolio. On Twitter, it’s about not just following influencers, but composing tweets, too.

This step is about comparing what you want to highlight to what you have and asking yourself: What’s missing? What can I add?

Minutes 20-30: Create a Schedule

Truth talk: Personal branding isn’t a “set it and forget it” kind of thing. Once you’ve figured out what you want your message to be and how you can share it more effectively, you’re going to need to start posting—consistently.

A helpful way to be consistent is to set a schedule that you can use as a guide. It shouldn’t feel like a chore, but if you’re anything like me, if you don’t schedule it, it could get back-burnered. All I ask is that you give it 10 minutes a day!

Here’s an example of a schedule you can start with:

Monday: Make (or update) a list of people you’d like to engage with more (a former manager) or simply connect with (an industry influencer).
Tuesday: Reach out to someone from that list. If it’s someone you’re reconnecting with, try one of these ideas. If it’s a stranger, you can test out this Twitter trick, or, if you’re brave, just send a cold LinkedIn invite using these templates.
Wednesday: Spend time looking for industry-related articles in publications popular in your field and share one. Or, alternatively, comment on someone else’s post (or at a minimum, share it).
Thursday: Make (or update) your list of improvements you’d like to make to your online presence. Break it down into baby steps. For example, you wouldn’t write, “Build personal site.” You’d write, “Look into site designers” and “write copy for personal site bio.”
Friday: Spend today looking yesterday’s list and knocking just one thing off.

Of course, you can tailor your plan to whatever works best for you. Honestly, if you just do the five things above even once a month, you’ll see traction. Regardless of the schedule you choose, feel free to switch it up, and see what gets the best response. You won’t see results overnight, but, that’s OK.

My final piece of advice is to avoid being misled by the term “personal branding.” What I mean is: The most successful brands aren’t just about you. Take the time to know your target audience, and listening to what’s on their minds as well. Genuinely connect and build relationships! As best-selling author Dale Carnegie said, “To be interesting, be interested.”

Have You Thought About Investing In Treasury Bills?

2017-07-09T05:45:00.001-07:00

What is a treasury bill?

A Treasury bill (or T-Bill) is a short-term government debt security, which yields no interest. Rather, it is issued at a discount on the redemption price.

Basically, the Federal Government issues treasury bills at discounted prices for maturity periods between 91 and 364 days. At the end the selected maturity period, the government buys the bills back at full price. For example, let’s say you buy a 182-day ₦200,000 treasury bill at a discounted rate of ₦180,000. The Federal Government of Nigeria writes an IOU for ₦200,000 and agrees to pay back in 182 days. You don’t get any monthly interest payments, rather you make your money back when the bond is purchased back from you at full price. In this case the T-Bill pays 11% interest rate (₦20,000/₦180,000 = 11%) over the 182-day period.

You will not get any e-mail alerts of notifications until the end of your tenure, so don’t expect any – just be patient. You only get a debit notification when the money is taken out of your account, and a credit notification when the money is returned at the end of the tenure. If you want proof of your investment, it is best to request this from your bank once the money has left your account. You will need to ask them for a T-bill certificate after payment has been made.
Where can I purchase T-Bills?

T-Bills are sold via commercial banks and official agents such as merchant banks, and sales are open to individuals and corporate investors.

Is there a minimum purchase amount for T-Bills?

It depends on the bank. Some banks offer a minimum of ₦50,000, while some offer a minimum of ₦500,000.
How long can I invest for?

There are 3 tenures available: 91 days, 182 days or 364 days.
How can I buy T-Bills?

First, you will need to complete an application form issued by your bank or an approved discount house such as Kakawa Discount House Ltd. You will need to submit your application early, as most banks are required to submit applications received by the Wednesday before the dates announced by CBN – which you can get on the CBN website or in the dailies. Alternatively, your bank might be able to provide you with notifications ahead of time.

When completing the application form, you will be requested for a discount rate – which is the percentage by which the face value of the bill is discounted by. Current rates in Nigeria are around the 12% – 14% mark. You can request for this rate to either be set by your bank, or specified by you (under the “stop rate” section of the application form). If you do however choose to specify a rate which is significantly higher than what the CBN is prepared to offer, your bid will fail.

Various banks will offer you various stop rates/discount rates, depending on how much you want to invest and how long you want to invest it for so it is a good idea to shop around and not go with the first offer you receive. Do your research and select a bank carefully as people have reported banks offering as low as a 2.4% discount rate. As at October 2015, unverified informal accounts suggest that Firstbank seems to have the best bid rate for a 91 day tenure at 9.5%.

How do I calculate the return on my investment on T-Bills?
It is very easy to calculate the returns on your investment, and how this is paid. If for example you purchase T-Bills worth ₦100,000 at a 10% discount rate, CBN only debits your account of ₦90,000. At the end of the maturity period, you are paid your face value sum of ₦100,000.
Can I sell my T-bills before it matures?

It is possible to sell your T-Bills before it maturity using the OTC market. Because this is governed by the forces of demand and supply, you might make a loss if you choose to sell them before their maturity date.

How secure are T-Bills?

As T-Bills are based full faith of the Federal Government of Nigeria, they are considered one of the most secure investments to make. They can also be used as collateral, and are accepted by all banks.

If you want more insight on this, Let me know by commenting below or contact us.

Speak Up for Yourself More (Without Becoming Unlikable)

2017-06-24T14:06:00.003-07:00

A few years ago, I was tasked with creating a standard PowerPoint presentation that my company would use at a variety of trainings and conferences.

Needless to say, I was really putting my all into it, determined to prove that I could handle an assignment of this size. I was already up to my eyeballs in fonts and statistics when my boss dropped by my desk and said, “Turns out we need this presentation sooner than expected! Can you have it done by the end of the week?”

My internal monologue went a little something like this: “Absolutely not, you crazy person! Unless you expect me to live here, there’s no way I can get this done that far ahead of the original deadline.”

But, what came out of my mouth? Something along the lines of, “Absolutely! Not a problem.”

Following that dishonest exchange, I worked ridiculous hours to get that presentation wrapped up in time. I arrived early, ate lunches and dinners at my desk, and took work home with me late in the evening. It was torture.

Sigh. Can you relate? Have you put yourself in a similar situation because you didn’t want to stand firm and speak your mind?

You’re not alone. It’s tough to speak up and advocate for yourself, even when you know it’s important. None of us want to be viewed as unhelpful, uncooperative, or defiant. So, we grit our teeth and bear it—even when we know we should be standing up and saying something.

Fortunately, there’s a tactic that you can use to voice your concerns, opinions, and even disagreements—without seeming totally unlikable. It’s called “perspective-taking.”

What is Perspective-Taking?

You’ve heard all of the clichés about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. But, that doesn’t change the fact that this is difficult to do, as social psychologist, Adam Galinsky, points out in his TEDx talk.

During his talk, he asks audience members to draw the capital letter “E” on their own foreheads. Go ahead and try it for yourself right now.

Of course, there are two different ways to draw this letter. One method is entirely self-focused, meaning that it looks like an “E” to you. The other is the perspective-taking “E,” as it looks correct to another person.

Which way did you draw your “E”? If you took the self-focused route, don’t feel bad—it’s practically human nature. “We often get self-focused,” says Galinsky, “And we particularly get self-focused in a crisis.”

But, perspective-taking is a way to challenge those natural tendencies. Using this approach, you step outside yourself in order to comprehend something from someone else’s viewpoint—because, as you likely already know too well, context can play a huge role.

Perspective-Taking in Action

To illustrate this point, Galinsky shares an interesting story about a man who threatened to blow up a bank unless the manager gave him $2,000. In that moment, the bank manager took his perspective and realized that he was asking for a very specific sum of money.

When she asked him why he needed that exact amount, he explained that his friend would be evicted unless he helped him get $2,000. At that point, the bank manager was able to state that he didn’t need to rob a bank—he simply needed to take out a loan.

This story might generate a chuckle from the audience, but the point is still clear.

“Now, her quick perspective-taking defused a volatile situation,” Galinsky states, “So when we take someone's perspective, it allows us to be ambitious and assertive, but still be likable.”

That last part is crucial. Seeing things from both sides gives you the power to stand firm, without seeming stubborn or obstinate.

In hindsight, I should’ve taken my boss’ perspective and inquired about why he needed the presentation by the end of the week. What was happening at that point in time that required this project to be done?

Had I asked these questions, I would’ve realized that he really only required a few slides that contained specific economic impact statistics—meaning I could’ve prioritized that small portion of the presentation and saved myself a lot of stress, time, and tears.

Speaking up and advocating for yourself might never seem like second nature—particularly if you’re used to rolling over.

But, if you take a moment to understand where the other person is coming from, you’ll be much more empowered to voice your opinion in a way that’s constructive, rather than argumentative (switching this one small word can help with that too!).

Give it a try for yourself the next time you need to stand your ground. I’m willing to bet you’ll be pleased with the results!

HABITS THAT MAKE PEOPLE UNHAPPY

2017-06-10T04:19:00.001-07:00

Circumstances can certainly make life unhappy. But a part – often a big part – of unhappiness comes from our own thinking, behavior and habits.

In this article I’d like to share 7 of the most destructive daily habits that can create quite a bit of unhappiness within and in your own little world.

But I’ll also share what has worked, what has helped me to minimize or overcome these habits in my life.

1. Aiming for perfection.

Does life has to be perfect before you are happy?

Do you have to behave in a perfect way and get perfect results to be happy?

Then happiness will not be easy to find. Setting the bar for your performance at an inhuman level usually leads to low self-esteem and feeling like you are not good enough even though you may have had a lot of good or excellent results. You and what you do is never enough good enough except maybe once in a while when feels like something goes just perfect.

How to overcome this habit:

Three things that helped me to kick the perfectionism habit and become more relaxed:

Go for good enough. Aiming for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else never being finished. So go for good enough instead. Don’t use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever you are doing.
Have a deadline. I set deadlines every time that start with a new premium guide. Because about a year ago, when I was working on my second e-book, I realized that just working on it and releasing it when it was done would not work. Because I could always find stuff to add to it. So I had to set a deadline. Setting a deadline gave me a kick in the butt and it is generally good way to help you to let go of a need to polish things a bit too much.
Realize what it costs you when you buy into myths of perfection. This was a very powerful reason for me to let go of perfectionism and one I tell myself still if I find thoughts of perfection pop up in my mind. By watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of perfection. It sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
But in real life it clashes with reality and tends to cause much suffering and stress within you and in the people around you. It can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are out of this world. I find it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.

2. Living in a sea of negative voices.

No one is an island. Who we socialize with, what we read, watch and listen to has big effect on how we feel and think.

It becomes a lot harder to be happier if you let yourself be dragged down by negative voices. Voices that tell you that life will in large part always be unhappy, dangerous and filled with fear and limits. Voices that watch life from a negative perspective.

How to overcome this habit:

Replacing those negative voices with more positive influences is very powerful. It can be like a whole new world opening up.

So spend more time with positive people, inspiring music and books, movies and TV-shows that make you laugh and think about life in a new way.

You can start small. For example, try reading an uplifting blog or book or listen to an audio book while eating your breakfast one morning this week instead of reading the paper or watching the morning news on TV.

3. Getting stuck in the past and future too much.

Spending much of your time in the past and reliving old painful memories, conflicts, missed opportunities and so on can hurt whole lot. Spending much of your time in the future and imagining how things could go wrong at work, in your relationships and with your health can build into horrifying nightmare scenarios playing over and over in your head. Not being here right now in life as it happens can lead to missing out on a lot of wonderful experiences.

No good if you want to be happier.

How to overcome this habit:

It is pretty much impossible to not think about the past or the future. And it is of course important to plan for tomorrow and next year and to try to learn from your past.

But to dwell on those things rarely help.

So I try as best as I can to spend the rest of my time, the big part of my time each day, with living in the now. Just being here right now and being fully focused on these words I am writing and later as I cook and eat my lunch and work out be fully focused on doing that.

Whatever I am doing I try to be there fully and not drift off into the future or past.

If I do drift off then I focus only on my breathing for a few minutes or I sit still and take in what is all around me right now with all my senses for a short while. By doing either of those things I can realign myself with the present moment again.

4. Comparing yourself and your life to others and their lives.

One very common and destructive daily habit is to constantly compare your life and yourself to other people and their lives. You compare cars, houses, jobs, shoes, money, relationships, social popularity and so on. And at the end of the day you pummel your self-esteem to the ground and you create a lot of negative feelings.

How to overcome this habit:

Replace that destructive habit with two other habits.

Compare yourself to yourself. First, instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to yourself. See how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made towards your goals. This habit has the benefit of creating gratitude, appreciation and kindness towards yourself as you observe how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and the good stuff you have done.
You feel good about yourself without having to think less of other people.
Be kind. In my experience, the way you behave and think towards others seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and think about yourself. Judge and criticize people more and you tend to judge and criticize yourself more (often almost automatically). Be more kind to other people and help them and you tend to be more kind and helpful to yourself.
Focus on the positive things in yourself and in the people around you. Appreciate what is positive in yourself and others. This way you become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind.

And remember, you can’t win if you keep comparing. Just consciously realizing this can be helpful. No matter what you do you can pretty much always find someone else in the world that has more than you or are better than you at something.

5. Focusing on the negative details in life.

Seeing the negative aspects of whichever situation you are in and dwelling on those details is a sure way to make yourself unhappy. And to drag down the mood for everyone around you.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcoming this habit can be tricky. One thing that has worked for me is to kick the perfectionism habit. You accept that things and situations will have their upsides and downsides rather than thinking that all details have to positive and excellent. You accept things as they are. This way you can let go emotionally and mentally of what is negative instead of dwelling on it and making mountains out of molehills.

Another thing that works is simply to focus on being constructive. Instead of focusing on dwelling and whining about the negative detail. You can do so by asking better questions. Questions like:

How can I turn this negative thing into something helpful or positive?
How can I solve this problem?

If I am faced with what I start thinking is a problem I may use a third solution, I may ask myself: who cares? I most often then realize that this isn’t really a problem in the long run at all.

6. Limiting life because you believe the world revolves around you.

If you think that the world revolves around you and you hold yourself back because you are afraid what people may think or say if you do something that different or new then you are putting some big limits on your life. How?

Well, you can become less open to trying new things and growing.You can think that the criticism and negativity you encounter is about you or that it is your fault all the time (while it in reality could be about the other person having bad week or you thinking that you can read minds). I have also found that my own shyness used to come from me thinking that people cared a great deal about what I was about to say or do.

How to overcome this habit:

Realize people don’t care too much about what you do. They have their hands full with worrying about their own lives and what people may think of them instead. Yes, this might make you feel less important in your own head. But it also sets you free a bit more if you’d like that.
Focus outward. Instead of thinking about yourself and how people may perceive you all the time, focus outward on the people around you. Listen to them and help them. This will help you to raise your self-esteem and help you to reduce that self-centered focus.

7. Overcomplicating life.

Life can be pretty complicated. This can creates stress and unhappiness. But much of this is often created by us. Yes, the world may be becoming more complex but that doesn’t mean that we cannot create new habits that make your own lives a bit simpler.

How to overcome this habit:

Overcomplicating life can involve many habits but I’d like to suggest a few replacement habits to what have been a couple of my own most overcomplicating habits.

Splitting your focus and having your attention all over the place in everyday life. I replaced that complicating habit with just doing one thing at a time during my day, having a small to-do list with 2-3 very important items and writing down my most important goal on white board that I see each day.
Having too much stuff. I replaced that habit with regularly asking myself: have I used this in the past year? If not then I will give that thing away or throw it away.
Creating relationship problems of any kind in your mind. Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste or time and energy.
Getting lost in the in-box. I spend less time and energy on my email in-box by just checking it once a day and writing shorter emails (if possible not more than 5 sentences.)
Getting lost in stress and overwhelm. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind then, as I mentioned above, breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again. Then you can start focusing on doing what is most important for you again.

Make Your Life Simpler

2017-06-08T23:58:00.002-07:00

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.
“The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity.”
Leonardo da Vinci

I love simplifying my life. It makes me more effective and life less stressful. It makes me calmer and happier.
But where do you start? Or continue if you are already on your way?

These are the ways to simplify your life. Pick one of these to get started and keep doing it until it sticks and becomes just another normal part of your life.

1. Breathe. When stressed, lost in a problem or the past or future in your mind breathe with your belly for two minutes and just focus on the air going in and out. This will calm your body down and bring your mind back into the present moment again.

2. Do one thing at a time. You’ll get better results and feel better and less stressed while doing those things.

3. Write it all down. Use your mind for better things than remembering what to do. And the mind is often like a leaky bucket. So write down all your great ideas, insights and thoughts before they go missing somewhere and add what you need to do to a to-do list.

4. Do all your food shopping once a week. You’ll save time, energy and – in my experience – money.

5. Stop trying to do things perfectly. It will only get you stuck and drain your self-esteem. Go for good enough instead and when you are there you are done. Get things all the way to done this way and then move on to the next thing.

6. Stop doing what you don’t like doing anymore. Life changes and so do you. If you you don’t like doing something anymore then stop doing that (even if it may take some time before you can do so by for example switching jobs).

7. Pack your bag before you go to bed. Then you don’t have to get stressed out by that in morning and you are less likely to forget something.

8. Throw out the things you haven’t used in 1 year. Go through what you have and ask yourself if you have used it in the past year. If not, give it away to charity or a friend or simply throw it out.

9. Ask yourself simplifying questions every day. Questions like “What is the most important thing I can do right now?” and “What is one small step I can take to simplify this situation?”.

10. Keep everything in its place. If everything has its own place then it is whole lot easier to keep your home reasonably ordered and decluttered from day to day. This also helps you with your inner stillness as the outer environment affects how you feel on the inside.

11. Cook more food than you’ll eat. We usually make four or more servings of what we’re about to eat. This cuts down on time that you spend on cooking and you’ll have to do less washing up in general. Plus, it’s good to have portions of food to bring to work to save some money.

13. Write shorter emails. I tend to write emails containing only a few sentences, usually between one and five. If you focus on keeping it short and focused then you’ll probably discover that this is a good solution in most cases.

14. Ask instead of guessing. Reading minds is hard. So, instead ask questions and communicate. This will help you to minimize unnecessary conflicts, misunderstandings, negativity and waste of time and energy.

15. Use a minimalistic workspace. My work space contains a big monitor and a laptop on an adjustable standing desk. I use a comfy chair and there is room for my glass of water beside the computer. That’s it. There are no distractions here. Just me, the computer and the water.

16. Check everything just once a day. I check my email inboxes, blog statistics, my online earnings, Twitter and Facebook just once a day. I combine all that checking into one small daily ritual at the end of my work day so I don’t slip and go checking it more during the day and waste my energy and attention.

17. Choose small daily acts of kindness. Instead of small acts of judgment and criticism towards the people around you (and towards yourself).

18. Stop trying to please everyone. There will always be people who you don’t get along with or that do not like you for some reason.

19. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. Before you start thinking too much about something and building it up something big in your head, ask yourself: “Am I making a mountain out of a molehill here?” And if you get lost in victim thinking then ask yourself: “Does anyone on the planet have it worse than me right now?”.

20. Spend 10-15 minutes each Sunday or Monday morning to plan out the week. Write down your plans for the week, organize your prioritized to-do list and get ready for the week before you are in the middle of it all. This will help you to find more clarity, get more of the most important things done next week and minimize stress.

21. Cancel subscriptions for things you rarely get around to watching or reading anyway.

22. Spend more time with people that help you to keep things simple. And spend less time with people that drag you down into overcomplicating everything and creating unnecessary drama.

Questions to Ask Yourself if you’re Questioning Your Career Path

2017-05-24T10:55:00.002-07:00

You’re not completely sold that you’re on the right career path, but the idea of making a change is daunting. There are so many unknowns, and we all know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Plus, if you do decide to change course, you may have to take a step back to develop necessary skills .

The time and energy required to transition into the right career path may be valid concerns, but they shouldn’t stop you from pursuing a path you love.

Before you make a switch of your own, ask yourself the following three questions.

1. Are You Developing a Competitive Advantage?

In The Start-up ofYou , authors Reid Hoffman and Ben Casnocha teach that we’re all entrepreneurs of our own careers. They argue that to become competitive in today’s global market, it’s critical to understand your assets (what you’re good at), your aspirations (what you want to do), and the market realities (what people will pay you for).

As you look at your work history, think of these three areas as puzzle pieces. Having only one or two isn’t enough. You need all three to develop a true competitive advantage.

You’ve likely heard the axiom, “Find a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” This may be true for some, but blindly following passion can lead to an unsustainable career. I’ve found Hoffman and Casnocha’s framework more practical. Know your assets and aspirations in light of the market realities—then pursue a path that maximizes all three.

2. How Often Do You Think About Work Outside of Work?

The importance of this question is best illustrated through a story. Henry Eyring, a former business professor at Stanford University, tells how he ended up choosing his path. His father, who was a renowned scientist and professor, hoped his son would follow in his footsteps. In Eyring’s words: “My father was [teaching physics] at a blackboard we kept in the basement…Suddenly he stopped. ‘Hal,’ he said, ‘we were working the same kind of problem a week ago. You don’t seem to understand it any better now than you did then. Haven’t you been working on it?’”

Eyring admitted he had not. His father then said: “When you walk down the street, when you’re in the shower, when you don’t have to be thinking about anything else, isn’t this what you think about?”

“When I told him no,” Eyring concludes, “my father paused...then said, ‘Hal, I think you’d better get out of physics. You ought to find something that you love so much that when you don’t have to think about anything, that’s what you think about.’”

I found this true in my life. When I was in finance, I rarely thought about work outside the office. Rather, I thought about people-related challenges my team faced and how I could improve the company culture. To be successful you don’t need to obsess about your job 24/7, but if you’re only thinking about your job during the hours of 9 to 5, it may be a sign you’re on the wrong path.

3. What Does Your Career Path Look Like 10 Years Down the Road?

Think of those in your company or industry who are more senior than you. Do you eventually want to be doing the type of work they’re doing?

This long-term view on your career is critical because many jobs change as you advance in your field. For example, junior investment bankers spend most of their time building financial models and client presentations, while senior bankers focus largely on sourcing deals and maintaining relationships. Even if you don’t love your current job, it may be a necessary step to develop skills that’ll help you get where you ultimately want to be.

If you don’t know what your current path looks like, schedule an informational interview with someone more experienced. These informal meetings are a great way to find out what you can expect in the future. Consider asking people what they like most about their job, the types of projects they work on, and what advice they’d give to someone in your shoes. I had a lot of informational interviews when I was in finance, and they’re what ultimately influenced me to take my career in another direction.

Determining whether to change industries is no small task, but asking yourself the three questions I’ve shared will help you make an informed decision. Are you developing a competitive advantage by maximizing your assets, your aspirations, and the market realities? How often do you think about work outside of the office? What does your career path look like in the future?

Your answers to these questions will help you understand whether you should double your efforts in your current job or start figuring out your next move.

PHOTOS: At The Premier of "Industreet"

2017-05-22T11:50:00.001-07:00

The highly anticipated TV drama series “Industreet” created & directed by JJC Skillz and produced by ace Nollywood actor, Funke Akindele Bello premiered over the weekend on the 19th of May, 2017 at the IMAX Cinemas in Lekki.

The premiere of the music-oriented TV drama which is set to start showing on the 26th of May 2017, was an interesting one, as many stars like Kate Henshaw, Toke Makinwa, Ariyike Akinbobola, Rita Dominic, Bolanle Olukanni, Linda Ejiofor, Akpororo, Lilian Afegbai, Lolo and more were in attendance.

See more Pictures Below

JJC Skillz, Funke Akindele Bello

Cast of Industreet

Mo Eazy

Sonorous

Kate Henshaw, JJC Skillz, Funke Akindele Bello, Annie Idibia, Rita Dominic

Dede, Rita Dominic, Kate Henshaw

Kay Switch

Kemen

Kemen, Lilian Afegbai

Lilian Afegbai

Lolo

Toke Makinwa

Annie Idibia

Bolanle Olukanni

JJC Skillz, Leo Ugochukwu

Lilian Afegbai, Layole Oyatogun, Ariyike Akinbobola

Ariyike Akinbobola

Funke Akindele Bello

VJ Adams

Linda Ejiofor

Gemstones, Linda Ejiofor

Gemstones

Soledayo Adegbite

Layole Oyatogun

Mo Eazy

Leo Ugochukwu

JJC Skillz, Funke Akindele Bello

Mo Eazy, Ariyike Akinbobola, Toke Makinwa, Funke Akindele Bello, Mabel Makun, JJC Skillz

Joke Silva

Discover Who You Are and What Will Make You Happy in Life

2017-05-17T11:44:00.000-07:00

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” ~E.E. Cummings

At twenty- six I had graduated and had a great career, many friends, and some money. During that time I also became deeply depressed and entered what would be a very long relationship with worries.
It was a real struggle for me to understand why I wasn’t happy when I had everything that I thought was important in life. Was I selfish? Were my expectations too high? I honestly couldn’t understand what was missing and how to fill this huge void that gnawed at me every day.

When I look back at my life later, I realize that I really had no idea who I was or what made me happy. I kept expecting something or someone to answer this question for me.

The journey to find out who I was and what really mattered to me eventually involved meeting people, and resigned from my job

Who am I? What do I believe in? What is my purpose? What fills me with joy and wonder? These are questions that I am just beginning to understand after thirty years of living my life, and I have to admit that getting there has been extremely difficult.

The hardest part for me was just knowing where to begin. After meditation, self-reflection, and reading, I asked myself five big questions that served as a launch pad to begin my journey of self-discovery.

If you are ready to begin the process of truly understanding who you are meant to be, start here:

1. What or who would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?

The risk of failure terrifies most people. How many times have you wanted to change jobs or careers, move to a new city, promote a cause that is important you, or become an expert in a certain area? Think about it. No risk of failure.

If you were 100 percent certain that you could be or do anything you wanted and not fail, do you know the answer?

2. What is your ninety-second personal elevator speech?

Probably the most important and poorly answered question in most job interviews, this is similar in nature. You can certainly include your career or career accomplishments in your personal speech, but think of this from the perspective of how you might answer this if you were making a new friend or going on a first date with someone.

How would you describe yourself so that the person asking the question would truly understand who you are and what is important to you?

3. What are your core personal values?

Personal values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live. They give you a reference for what is good, beneficial, important, useful, desirable, and constructive. Once you are able to determine exactly what values are most important to you, you can better determine your priorities.

In fact, having this information about yourself is the key to making sure your daily life is aligned with those values. If you need help defining your personal values, there is a great five-minute assessment tool here.

4. What makes you genuinely happy?

This one is closely related to your core personal values. However, ask yourself this question once you’ve really nailed down what those values are.

For example, if family is one of your core personal values, will taking a job that involves tons of travel make you happy? Take it a step further and really consider dreams you had when you were younger or currently have about what will make you truly happy.

5. If money were no object, how would you live your life differently?

Many people equate happiness and success directly to the amount of money they have. How many times have you heard someone say, “If I hit the lottery, I’d…”

But remember, this question isn’t really about money at all. It’s more about thinking outside the limits we tend to put on our aspirations and actions because things seem out of our reach financially.

You may not be able to do those exact things, but once you know what those true desires are, you expand your thinking and begin to develop a plan to work towards goals you may have never imagined possible.

—

These are tough questions and the answers may not come easily or quickly. In fact, I found myself having to think and re-think my answers several times. This work is hard but necessary in order to really understanding yourself on a deeper level.

While I can’t say that I now know everything about myself, answering these questions completely changed the negative internal dialogue that was limiting my ability to see myself as I exist today and the me that I can become in the future.

But the biggest change came from revisiting dreams and aspirations that I had long ago put on the back burner while I was stuck in the process of “getting things done.”

So, find a quiet place and allow yourself plenty of time to go through and really think about each question and then just go for it. Go ahead. Begin your journey. Change direction. Create new dreams or rediscover dreams you left behind. Now that I have started, I haven’t looked back since

Topics You Should Steer Clear of in a Professional Setting

2017-05-16T11:09:00.001-07:00

For most of us, finding just the right words to use when striking up networking conversations is, at best, intimidating. For some, especially the more introverted among us, it can be downright terrifying. Small talk is pretty much never a breeze, but chit-chat can feel even more complex because you may have more to lose than someone just thinking you’re uninteresting or too talkative.

You may have a future job opportunity or business deal at stake.

That being the case, it’s important to avoid bringing up anything that may give the person you’re speaking to a reason to pause and reconsider working with you (or even just reaching out in general).

Here are five topics you should never bring up :

1. Polarizing Views About Tribe, Religion, or Politics

I’m having this, “Do I really even have to remind people of this?” moment as I type, but you’d be amazed at some of the awkward, uncomfortable discussions I’ve been pulled into over the years. Am I saying it’s not your entitlement to have strong views or opinions on sensitive topics?

Absolutely not. I’m saying that a professional event is almost never the forum to share these opinions, especially if you’re a job seeker conversing with someone who has decision-making influence.

What happens if that person you’re talking to feels strongly about the topic, too, in the exact opposite way you do? Chances are you’ll reduce or eliminate your opportunity for further conversation. Even if you’re not a job seeker, if you blurt out something annoying or offensive to the other party, you might alienate someone who could have been an ally or professional friend.

What do you do if someone brings this up?

Simple. You smile and say, “I’m sure this would be an interesting conversation, but I typically keep my views on this one to myself. Care for another glass of wine?”

2. Personal Issues That Are Weighing You Down

I truly understand how all-encompassing personal issues can be, especially if you’re bogged down by a stressful day or slow job search. And I know it might provide at least momentary relief to share (or overshare) these problems with others.

However, this is not your audience for spilling your guts on these things.

Why not? First, heavy conversation when one is expecting small talk may make the other person feel uneasy (which doesn’t make for great networking). But also—if the person is someone who may be useful to your career—giving her the impression that you’re unhappy or prone to complaining isn’t going to help your cause.

If you’re feeling bogged down with what’s happening in your life, seek out a friend, relative, or even a counselor who will listen, especially if that person can also help you sort through your challenges or support you in your time of need. (If you’re unsure of who to speak to, this article lays out when to talk to a mentor, career coach, or therapist.) Also, realize that it may not be the time to put yourself in professional situations, period, and that’s OK.

3. Habits That Imply (or Blatantly Announce) a Problem

Similar to the polarizing views topic, if you have habits that may lead a stranger to believe something’s not quite right, consider avoiding discussion related to these habits entirely. I’ll never forget an interview conversation I once overheard, during which the candidate jokingly said that she likes to go get drunk with clients at lunchtime.

I don’t know with certainty what happened from there, but the look on the person across the table’s face suggested that this may well have been the last conversation.

Just like in an interview, demonstrating or mentioning in a networking conversation—even casually—that you drink a lot, can’t get through an hour without a smoke break, have a bit of a Facebook addiction, or just love zoning out over video poker can serve as a true “record stop” moment for the other party.

4. Lies That Aim to Impress, But Could Backfire on You

Have you ever lied to impress someone and then got caught in that lie months, or even years, later? Even if it were a “little white lie” that you never intended to be a big deal, it could come back to haunt you later

Here’s an example:

Say you meet someone at a trade show mixer whose stories or credentials impress you to the point that you feel compelled to, ahem, embellish your own background to seem more interesting. Maybe you talk about a study abroad program that you never actually participated in, or a degree that you simply don’t hold.

Why not, right? This person is a stranger. He won’t know the truth. Maybe not. But, what if that person ends up being the hiring manager for a job you want in four years? Or, what if you bump into him again in a year and he references your global travel only to be met by your blank stare?

Put your best foot forward, in every networking conversation, of course. Just don’t be a liar.

5. Gossip About Colleagues or People in the Industry

It feels good to be viewed as the one who’s all dialed in and “in the know” about your industry and its players, doesn’t it? But being dialed in is not your license to be a gossip, especially not at a professional event.

What happens when you share a story about how so-and-so didn’t quit, but was actually fired for dating a subordinate—and the person you’re standing talking to is (as it so happens) his best friend, or brother-in-law?

Enjoy that moment.

Being a thought leader or industry insider is fantastic. Being a blabber mouth? Not so much.

Certainly, I’m not intending to make banter with strangers even more challenging for you. I’m not working to make the whole concept feel stringent or overwhelming.

Rather, I’m suggesting that you keep your marbles in your head as you participate. Even when the conversation becomes super casual and loose (alcohol tends to do that to people), remember that you’re still in a professional setting, and those with whom you’re speaking could very well play a role in your future career momentum. It would stink if an innocent networking mistake took you out of the running for a cool opportunity.

Always watch out.

How to Find Business Deals Online

2017-05-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

When we say the internet, it actually covers a few things, which we will try and discuss. Everything boils down to your online presence. This includes being active on some of the most popular social networks, but also active on forums and other websites where you can showcase your portfolio. It doesn’t matter if you are a dentist, or if you are selling chocolate, there are some common ways of properly advertising yourself online, and we are going to start from the basics:

Social Networks
Using social media to your advantage is of the utmost importance. Current trends suggest that you are not likely to be really successful if you do not incorporate every popular social media into your marketing plans. Facebook is generally the weapon of choice, as it is extremely easy to promote yourself and your page, and also target your desired audience. All the major businesses around the world are using Facebook, combined with Google+. Both offer paid advertising, where your page will appear as sponsored. Even Pinterest is great, although it is more inclined towards the visual products, as the majority of its users are female. Social networks are perfect for engaging your audience and maintaining a constant flow of information back and forth. You can easily ask questions, have Q&A, and everything you find out there, you can use to improve your products or services.

Browse for Jobs Online

You must not be passive. When it comes to making business deals, you sometimes have to find them for yourself. There are plenty of specialized websites that specifically deal with job proposals, where you can post what you want and what you have to offer. Maybe you have something to provide for someone who is not even aware of your existence. That is why you should actively search for jobs online, and you can even check out some forums that are related to the particular area of your work. Finding a business deal is hard, now harder than ever, so you must try even harder. The internet is a great place for this.

Create a Unique Website
Having your own website is extremely important. I wanted to mention this as my last suggestion, but believe me, it is maybe the most important one. When a good website is combined with the tips above, you will find clients in no time. Of course, websites do not grow on trees, they must be bought, and you should not cut corners on this one. A quality website can cost up to $5.000 for a medium company. For a larger business, the prices can go up to a $100.000. The website must be lightweight and neatly organized. It must attract the customer and provide him or her with all the necessary information. Create a portfolio where you can showcase your work and your service, and be sure to include prices. Having a catchy brand name helps, and having a recognizable logo is a must. You should definitely hire a professional company, with a lot of experience, to help you accomplish all of this. Once you have a website, with an attractive logo that you can use on your business cards, you are all set.

This is probably all there is when it comes to online marketing and creating an impressive online presence. You must be competitive with you prices, and you should try to be unique in what you have to offer. Try and persuade the customer that you are the person they are looking for, and that you are the best at what you do. That is why you must use all social platforms, as they are a highly effective ground for pitching your products. Dedicate your time and patience to browsing the internet and finding some potential business deals. Naturally, all this should be backed up with a nicely developed and attractive website. Once everything on this list is completed, you are on a direct train to success.

GET UP!

2017-05-12T14:01:00.003-07:00

"There is no greater agony than an untold story inside of you"- Maya Angelo

You can never tell your potential until you begin to take action. The easiest "road" to a life of regret is to remain idle with great ideas.

Our inspiration for today's write up is a quote by Maya Angelo. Every individual has a treasure (a story) down deep inside. There are several ways to give expression to this story, and to let the world into our world, this is where we mostly find fulfillment in life.

If your pen can't drip on paper and your heart is revealed to the world, let your vocal chords go into action, let your hands paint, play that rhythm and let those legs move. Sing it, play it, act it, speak it , paint it, however you wish to do it, let the world follow that rhythm. How do we sing along when we have never heard your song? Get up and let it out!

Its high time we got up and try, until then, you won't know how much you can do, and you can't tell how far you can go till you start. Take courage and conquer that fear.

Get up, don’t bury it, let it out, let it out grow.

Get up from that comfort zone,

Where your dreams dormant lay,

And time is not a friend,

Get up and move,

Crawl if you can't run,

Then someday you’ll fly.

Get up and Start!

Written By Ochi- Samie- Wonder

Strategy for Getting Started When You Are Just Not Feeling It

2017-03-24T12:01:00.004-07:00

In my spare time, I’m a runner. Some days, I’m really into it. But on other days, I just want to curl up on the couch and eat my weight in potato chips. A couple weeks ago, I had a 12-mile run on my calendar for a Saturday afternoon and I just did not want to do it. Even after my wife reminded me that we didn’t have plans until later that night, I tried making excuses for simply throwing in the towel.Fast forward to an hour and 45 minutes later and my run was over. I’d done it!

How did I go from finding ridiculous excuses to actually completing my run?
Baby steps.

First, I changed into my running clothes.
Then after watching an hour’s worth of Netflix, I stretched.
After that, I put on my shoes and got going.

Halfway through that run, I couldn’t help but think about the parallels between the challenges of starting that workout and kicking off a workday. How many times have you dragged yourself into the office with no desire to do anything? How many times has your to-do list practically yelled at you, “Just sitting there isn’t an option!”

In that moment, I realized that sometimes the best way to get things done when you’re not in the mood isn’t to take the age-old advice of “Just doing it.” But rather to start with the easiest thing on your to-do list.

For my running schedule, sometimes that means simply putting on my shoes. And at work, if you’re struggling just to started in the morning, the equivalent might be giving your workspace that overdue cleaning (which is a task that I completed about three hours before starting this article), or handwriting your to-do list, or getting to inbox zero.

Those might feel really easy—but mornings are hard and why not let yourself ease into them? As long as these quick wins get you into the pool and swimming laps, it doesn’t really matter if you started out by slowly walking down the stairs or if you cannon-balled (I promise you that when I became a writer, I swore to myself that I’d never compare sports to my work—and now I’ve done it twice.)

Stop Feeling Guilty And Forgive Yourself

2016-08-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

Guilt is perhaps one of the most debilitating emotions, and one that has the potential to negatively influence the human mind. Such feelings can build to the point where they become unmanageable, creating a fragmented mental outlook the prevents us from achieving goals, pursuing dreams and becoming the masters of our own destiny.

Guilt is also one of the most misunderstood emotions, as numerous scientific studies can testify to. In order to explore the nature of guilt and dispel many of the misconceptions surrounding it, psychologists Claire Adams and Mark Leary devised an experiment which focused on women who were striving to lose weight. The pair split the subjects into two groups and encouraged them to eat doughnuts and candy, with the simple goal of determining whether people would indulge less if they were relieved of their guilt.

This premise seems both cruel and ridiculous in equal measure, but while one group was made to feel better about skipping on their diets, the other was made to experience feelings of guilt. While logic would suggest that the former would eat more, they were actually found to have consumed just 28 grams as opposed to the 70 grams eaten by the group that were left to feel guilty. So what does this tell us about guilt, and what steps can we take to stop feeling guilty as individuals?

1. Remember that the brain exists as a separate entity to the mind

These findings can be explained by the fact that the brain exists as a separate entity to the mind, meaning that we cannot fully control our emotional responses to specific events. In this instance, it is important to understand that all emotional triggers are processed in an area of the brain known commonly as the limbic system, which is driven by short-term cravings and wants to indulge specific impulses. So when we feel guilty, we are empowering this part of the brain and allowing ourselves to indulge more than we otherwise would.

It is therefore crucial that we remember this, while taking steps to manage our response to emotional triggers and rather than giving in to sudden impulses and feelings. One of the best options is to engage in a process called mind-mapping, whichinvolves the visual representation of your thought processes at any given time. This has emerged as a popular business tool, but it also has the dual benefit of mapping your personal thoughts into a structured form and helping you to plot specific responses to debilitating, emotional triggers.

2.Learn to consult yourself like your best friend

If you are struggling to accomplish a specific goal (think of weight loss, for example), it is easy to become consumed with guilt, remorse and the emotional response to failure. You can strive to avoid this by introducing objectivity to the situation, and imagining that it is as a close friend or beloved family member who is struggling to remain focused on what they are aiming to achieve.

This instantly changes your perspective, as rather than focus on the emotion you are instead required to offer actionable advice and viable solutions. So rather than berating them and forcing them to feel guilty for their perceived failings, you would instead focus on rationalising the situation and empowering them to rebound from short-term setbacks. By visualising such a scenario and challenging your perspective, you can become your own counsellor and negate the emotional impact of guilt.

3. Learn from your mistakes and embrace the lessons of failure

When we are children, we are much more tenacious and fearless when learning new things. When learning how to walk and developing our academic skills, our burgeoning minds are incapable of guilt and therefore purely focused on the attainment of a single goal. As a result of this, we simply consider failure as an inevitable part of the learning process as children and build on our mistakes with the encouragement of others.

As we grow older and lose our inhibitions, however, we begin to fear failure and become consumed with guilt when we do not accomplish important goals. We subsequently allow the negative emotions that are associated with failure to prevent us from trying further, which in turns creates a vicious cycle of guilt, depression and anxiety. If we can instead focus on the core lessons of each specific failure and use these to inspire future efforts, we will gradually become more successful and eliminate guilt as an influential emotion.

4. Learn to say no instead of acting out of obligation

Let’s face facts; there will also be little chores and activities in life that we do in spite of ourselves. From visiting the in-laws to food shopping, these mundane tasks are completed not out of love but because they are a fundamental part of everyday life and crucial to our interactions with others.

It is important to draw the line between necessary (but functional) tasks and voluntary activities that we have no obligation to participate in, however, as otherwise we can be made to spend the vast majority of our time either feeling guilty or acting out of obligation. If you can learn to make this distinction and simply say no to invitations that do not appeal to you, you live a more enriched life without becoming burdened by excess guilt.

Working on your delivery helps this process, as it prevents you from feeling as though you have been unnecessary rude or harsh.

5. Learn to forgive yourself by righting specific wrongs

If you are to stop feeling guilty and manage your emotional response to failure or adversity, you must ultimately learn to forgive yourself. While this may be easier in instances where we have only let ourselves down, we must strive to forgive the mistakes that have impacted negatively on those who we hold dear. This can be an extremely difficult challenge, but you must ultimately ask yourself who benefits from your underlying feelings of sadness, guilt and helplessness?

The answer is nobody, as this simply creates a scenario where you are incapable of atoning for your mistakes and righting the wrongs that have hurt those around you. Such atonement is the only thing that can help you to move on as an individual, while this can only be achieved if you forgive your own mistakes and believe in your ability to make amends. Interestingly, the part of out brain that drives willpower becomes stronger when we have the belief and desire to accomplish something, and forgiving ourselves is the first step towards fostering this mind-set.

Here’s Why You Should Never Skip Your Sleep On Weekends

2016-08-22T11:14:00.002-07:00

After putting on a professional face for five days and 40 hours, many people use the weekend as a time to break free from routine and relax. Although you definitely deserve some downtime, relaxation for many people means late nights out, bar hopping, or even just indulging in movie marathons with friends and family that last far past midnight. You should look after your mental health, but getting enough sleep and following your normal sleep cycle are part of it.

Everyone is familiar with the short-term side effects of not getting enough sleep— temporary memory loss, impaired brain function, a bad mood you just can’t shake. After reading this article, you will never skip your sleep on weekends. Continue reading to understand why researchers say you should definitely get enough sleep on the weekends.

1. You’ll be happier

Sleep is important in regulating your mood, so you feel positive and don’t overreact. Studies show a lack of sleep affects serotonin levels in the brain, which helps keep you on an even keel. If you don’t get enough shut-eye, you may be more likely to lash out.

2. You’ll learn and remember better

Although scientists are still unraveling the link between sleep and learning, hundreds of studies show sleep is important to encode memories for the long term, and one study even showed power napping for 45 to 60 minutes increased learning and retention fivefold.

3. Increase your attention

If you don’t get enough sleep, you’re so prone to driving accidents you might as well have drunk a bunch of alcohol. The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimated that 100,000 crashes each year come from a lack of sleep.

4. Up your sex drive

Studies show men produce testosterone when they’re sleeping, which is important in sexual functioning, but getting about 5 hours of sleep each night for a week decreased testosterone levels by 15 percent. Sleep is important to regulate hormones in general, so getting less than you need will affect their levels.

5. Reduce your risk for metabolic syndrome

According to the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute, poor sleep increases your risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and stroke. This is definitely a reason to go to bed when you feel sleepy.

6. Amp up your energy

Stop relying on caffeine and use the most natural source of energy – sleep. If you get enough sleep and go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, you’ll be getting all the energy you need to function.

7. Look better

Ever heard someone say “you look tired”? When you don’t get enough sleep, it shows. A study in the journal Sleep showed people who didn’t get enough had redder, baggier eyes, more fine lines and wrinkles, were paler, and just looked, well, tired.

How you sleep on weekends is just as important – getting 8 hours of sleep if you go to bed at 4:00 AM won’t give you the same benefits as going to bed at 10:00 PM.

8. You’re more likely to indulge when you go to bed late

The Daily Mail reported that people who go to bed after 11 PM are more likely to eat unhealthy snacks and drink alcohol, which translates to an increase in over 200 calories compared to those who go to bed before 11 PM.

9. If you eat late, sleep late, and wake up late, you may gain more weight

In one study, those who ate after 8 PM, went to bed around 3:45 AM, and woke up around 10:45 AM had higher BMIs, the National Sleep Foundation warns.

You also can’t sleep in to “catch-up” on sleep. If you didn’t get enough sleep during the week, sleeping in might be more harmful than helpful. Studies show the best way to make up for lost sleep is just to follow your sleep schedule and circadian rhythm.

So, give your body what it needs this weekend — a much-needed rest.

How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

2016-06-24T14:01:00.002-07:00

Everyone strives to be a great person, kind, caring, and compassionate. But for some people, that’s not always the case. There are many behaviors or ‘bad habits’ that people have that make them seem unattractive, annoying, or someone that no one wants to be around with. A few of these harmful characteristics are offered for you below, and if you happen to realize that you embody any of them – quit! You might find your circle of friends grow once you do.

1. You are Self-Absorbed

Many people do this without realizing it. You focus solely on yourself, talk only about yourself, and often don’t care what others around you have to say. You think you’re the only one that matters. If this is you, it’s time to change. No one wants to be friend with someone who only cares about themselves.
2. You Focus on Outer Beauty, Ignoring What’s Inside

Surprisingly, true beauty comes from within your heart, body, and soul. Your physical appearance isn’t something that matters the most, but people with unattractive behaviors think that outer beauty is all that matters. Take a look in the mirror – deep within yourself – and you might see what lies beneath. An ugly person. Unless you change your way of thinking.
3. You are Always in Competition

Are you the person who has to be better than everyone else, see more, do more? If so, you’re an unattractive person. You should care more about your friends, and let them have their moment. If they overcame their fear of heights and climbed 10 feet in the air, don’t say, “That’s all? I’ve climbed 30 feet!” Instead say, “Wow! That’s awesome. I’m really proud of you.”

4. You View Your Friends as Enemies

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People who are seen as unattractive are often in fights with their friends. Instead of banning together and truly being able to care for others, you’re always turning your back, and stabbing them in theirs. Your friends are not your enemies. They are your allies.
5. You Question Your Importance to Others

You are definitely an unattractive person when you constantly question why others don’t see you as important as you think they should. For instance, your two friends went somewhere without you – it doesn’t matter to them – but to you it does. Get over it. They’re still your friend, and their lives don’t stop when you’re not around.
6. You are the Boss

In a group of friends, everyone should be on an equal playing field. If you’re the one always making decisions, constantly needing to be in charge, or trying to control what others are doing, you’re acting in an unattractive way.
7. You are Dishonest

When it comes to being a great friend, or someone whom others want to be around, you need to be honest. Many people who partake in ugly behaviors are often dishonest, lying about everything, inquiring about every question asked about them, and how they truly feel about different things. Yes, honesty is the best policy.
8. You are Rude

If you’re the person that’s frequently impolite, offensive, or embarrassing your friends with your rude comments in public – quit. You’re not someone people would want to be around. There are going to be times when you don’t agree with someone, or see something you didn’t want to see, but there’s no point in making a scene, because you’re making everyone look at your terrible behavior and they’re not seeing what you’re seeing.
9. You are Unreliable, Yet Dependent Upon Others

Are you there when your friends call for help? Or are you always busy when someone needs you? If you’re the person no one can count on, that’s an unattractive quality in friendships. Similarly, if you’re the one always calling for help from others, yet never offering yours when they need it, that’s another unattractive quality that no one wants in a friend.
10. You are Always Negative

Pessimism is not an attractive quality. If you’re constantly putting things down, or seeing situations in a negative light, try and change your attitude. Nobody wants to be friends with someone who’s constantly seeing the negative instead of the positive.

Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It How You Become Unattractive And You’re Not Aware of It

Muhammad Ali's 15 Quotes of Wisdom for everyone

2016-06-05T06:40:00.003-07:00

Two days ago we lost Muhammad Ali. If you want to reflect upon how remarkable he was, look beyond his audacity and performance in the ring -- stunning as they were. Think about who he was at what time in history.

He always had a lot to say to people in the arena since that was where he was raised. Here is a sampling for those of building something from nothing -- any of us trying to make impact in any way:

1) "I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want."

2) "I should be a postage stamp. That's the only way I'll ever get licked."

3) "What you're thinking is what you're becoming."

4) “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

5) “He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”

6) “Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill, and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”

7) “Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.”

8) “I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'”

9) “If they can make penicillin out of moldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.”

10) "I shook up the world. Me! Whee!"

11) “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

12) "Life is a gamble. You can get hurt, but people die in plane crashes, lose their arms and legs in car accidents; people die every day. Same with fighters: some die, some get hurt, some go on. You just don't let yourself believe it will happen to you."

13) "Don't count the days; make the days count."

14) “Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything.”

And perhaps most importantly of all:

15 "Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth."

Best Quotes from the Favorite Books of 8 Billionaires

2016-06-02T12:03:00.003-07:00

Below are the best, most representative quotes from the reading lists of Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg and Richard Branson.

1. A Short Guide to a Happy Life, by Anna Quindlen

"You are the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on the bus, or in the car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart."

2. An Inconvenient Truth, by Al Gore

"Many people today assume mistakenly that the Earth is so big that we humans cannot possibly have any major impact on the way our planet's ecological system operates. That may have been true at one time, but it is not the case any more."

3. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists ... it is real ... it is possible ... it's yours."

4. Be Here Now, by Baba Ram Dass

"The cosmic humor is that if you desire to move mountains and you continue to purify yourself, ultimately you will arrive at the place where you are able to move mountains."

5. Bossypants, by Tina Fey

"My unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on."

6. Common Stocks and Uncommon Profits, by Philip A. Fisher

"Competitors are only one and not necessarily the best source of informed opinion. It is equally astounding how much can be learned from both vendors and customers about the real nature of the people with whom they deal."

7. Conscious Business, by Fred Kofman

"Have you ever driven down the highway on cruise control, engaged in a conversation or daydreaming, only to realize you missed your exit? You didn't literally lose consciousness, but you dimmed your awareness. Relevant details, such as your location and the actions needed to reach your goal, receded from the forefront of your mind Your eyes were open, but you didn't see. This is a poor way to drive--and an even poorer way to live."

8. Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, by Chögyam Trungpa

"Decency is the absence of strategy. It is of utmost importance to realize that the warrior's approach should be simple-minded sometimes, very simple and straightforward. That makes it very beautiful: You having nothing up your sleeve; therefore a sense of genuineness comes through. That is decency."

9. Data-Driven Marketing, by Mark Jeffery

"These statistics are symptomatic of why data-driven marketing and marketing measurement are so difficult for many organizations: the internal processes do not support a culture of measurement, and they also do not have an infrastructure to support data-driven marketing and marketing metrics. But beyond these high-level processes, my experience is that most marketers are overwhelmed with data and do not know where to start in terms of measuring the right things to drive real results."

10. Dealing With China, by Hank Paulson

"We face daunting challenges in today's increasingly complex and inter-connected world. Almost all of them, from cybersecurity to opening big markets for American exports, will be easier if the United States and China can work together or in complementary ways. Our task will be much more difficult, if not impossible, to solve if the world's two most important economic powers work against each other."

11. Good to Great, by Jim Collins

"Our findings do not represent a quick fix, or the next fashion statement in a long string of management fads, or the next buzzword of the day, or a new 'program' to introduce. No! The only way to make any company visionary is through a long-term commitment to an eternal process of building the organization to preserve the core and stimulate progress."

12. How to Lie with Statistics, by Darrell Huff

"The secret language of statistics, so appealing in a fact-minded culture, is employed to sensationalize, inflate, confuse, and oversimplify. Statistical methods and statistical terms are necessary in reporting the mass data of social and economic trends, business conditions, "opinion" polls, the census. But without writers who use the words with honesty and understanding and readers who know what they mean, the result can only be semantic nonsense."

13. Inside the Tornado, by Geoffrey A. Moore

"After the better part of a century being content with letters, telegrams, and telephones, we have in the past 30 years adopted touchtone phones, direct-dial long distance, Federal Express, answering machines, fax machines, voice mail, email, and now internet addresses. In every case, until a certain mass was reached, we didn't really need to convert. But as soon as it was, it became unacceptable not to participate. As members of a market, our behavior is invariable: We move as a herd, we mill and mill and mill around, and then all of a sudden we stampede."

14. Lean Thinking, by James P. Womack & Daniel T. Jones

"Lean thinking therefore must start with a conscious attempt to precisely define value in terms of specific products with specific capabilities offered at specific prices through a dialog with specific customers. The way to do this is to ignore existing assets and technologies and to rethink firms on a product-line basis with strong, dedicated product teams."

15. Long Walk to Freedom, by Nelson Mandela

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."

16. Now, Discover Your Strengths, by Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton

"From this point of view, to avoid your strengths and to focus on your weaknesses isn't a sign of diligent humility. It is almost irresponsible. By contrast the most responsible, the most challenging, and, in the sense of being true to yourself, the most honorable thing to do is face up to the strength potential inherent in your talents and then find ways to realize it."

17. On Immunity, by Eula Biss

"The United States was engaged in two ongoing wars that seemed to be benefiting no one other than military contractors. People were losing their houses and their jobs while the government was bailing out the financial institutions it deemed too big to fail and using taxpayer money to shore up the banks. It did not seem unlikely that your government favored the interests of corporations over the well-being of its citizens."

18. Only the Paranoid Survive, by Andrew S. Grove

"The sad news is, nobody owes you a career. Your career is literally your own business. You own it as a sole proprietor. You have one employee: yourself. You are in competition with millions of similar businesses: millions of other employees all over the world. You need to accept ownership of your career, your skills, and the timing of your moves. It is your responsibility to protect this personal business of yours from harm and to position it to benefit from changes in the environment. Nobody else can do that for you."

19. Rational Ritual, by Michael Suk-Young Chwe

"Public rituals can thus be understood as social practices that generate common knowledge. A public ritual is not just about the transmission of meaning from a central source to each member of an audience; it is also about letting audience members know what other audience members know."

20. Structures, by J. E. Gordon

"The struggle to understand the real reasons why structures work and why things break has been a great deal more difficult and has taken much longer than one might have expected. It is really only quite recently that we have been able to fill in enough of the gaps in our knowledge to answer some of these questions in any very useful or intelligent manner."

21. Superintelligence, by Nick Bostrom

"The expected arrival date has been receding at a rate of one year per year; so that today, futurists who concern themselves with the possibility of artificial intelligence still often believe that intelligent machines are a couple of decades away."

22. The Better Angels of Our Nature, by Stephen Pinker

"If the past is a foreign country, it is a shockingly violent one. It is easy to forget how dangerous life used to be, how deeply brutality was once woven into the fabric of daily existence. Cultural memory pacifies the past, leaving us with pale souvenirs whose bloody original have been bleached away."

23. The Black Swan, by Nassim Nicholas Taleb

"Our world is dominated by the extreme, the unknown, and the very improbable (improbable according to our current knowledge) -- and all the while we spend out timer engaged in small talk, focusing on the known, and the repeated."

24. The Dice Man, by Luke Rhinehart

"To change man, the audience by which he judges himself must be changed. A man is defined by his audience: by the people, institutions, authors, magazines, movie heroes, philosophers by whom he pictures himself being cheered and booed."

25. The End of Power, by Moiss Nam

"Today's power players often pay a steeper and more immediate price for the mistakes than did their predecessors. Their response to that new reality, in turn, is reshaping the behavior of those over whom they have power, setting in motion a chain reaction that touches every aspect of human interaction."

26. The Innovator's Dilemma, by Clayton Christensen

"When faced with a disruptive technology, people and processes in a mainstream organization cannot be expected to allocate freely the critical financial and human resources needed to carve out a strong position in the small, emerging market. Creating an independent organization, with a cost structure honed to achieve profitability at the low margins characteristic of most disruptive technologies, is the only viable way for established firms to harness this principle."

27. The Intelligent Investor, by Benjamin Graham

"The art of investment has one characteristic that is not generally appreciated. A creditable, if unspectacular, result can be achieved by the lay investor with a minimum of effort and capability; but to improve this easily attainable standard requires much application and more than a trace of wisdom. If you merely try to bring just a little extra knowledge and cleverness to bear upon your investment program, instead of realizing a little better than normal results, you may well find that you have done worse."

28. The Lean Startup, by Eric Ries

"Startups do not yet know who their customer is or what their product should be. As the world becomes more uncertain, it gets harder and harder to predict the future. The old management methods are not up to the task. Planning and forecasting are only accurate when based upon a long, stable operating history and a relatively static environment. Startups have neither."

29. The Little Book of Common Sense Investing, by Jack Bogle

"[There is] a profound conflict of interest between those who work in the investment business and those who invest in stocks and bonds. The way to wealth for those in the business is to persuade their clients, 'Don't just stand there. Do something.' But the way to wealth for their clients in the aggregate is to follow the opposite maxim: 'Don't do something. Just stand there.' For that is the only way to avoid playing the loser's game of trying to beat the market."

30. The Most Important Thing, by Howard Marks

"What, exactly, is 'the most important thing'? In July 2003, I wrote a memo with that title that pulled together the elements I felt were essential for investment success. Here's how it began: 'The most important thing is X.' And then ten minutes later it's 'The most important thing is Y.' And then Z, and so on. Successful investing requires thoughtful attention to many separate aspects, all at the same time. Omit any one and the result is likely to be less than satisfactory."

31. The Mythical Man-Month, by Fredrick P. Brooks Jr.

"Systems program building is an entropy-decreasing process, hence inherently metastable. Program maintenance is an entropy-increasing process, and even its most skillful execution only delays the subsidence of the system into unfixable obsolescence."

32. The New Jim Crow, by Michelle Alexander

"Studies show that people of all colors use and sell illegal drugs at remarkably similar rates. If there are significant differences in the surveys to be found, they frequently suggest the whites, particularly white youth, are more likely to engage in drug crime than people of color. [Despite that,] in some states, black men have been admitted to prison on drug charges at rates twenty to fifty times greater than those of white men."

33. The Outsiders, by William Thorndike Jr.

"The metric that the press usually focuses on is growth in revenues and profits. It's the increase in a company's per share value, however, not growth in sales or earning or employees, that offers the ultimate barometer of a CEO's greatness. It's as if Sports Illustrated only put the tallest pitchers and widest goalies on its cover."

34. The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, by Thomas Kuhn

"The transition from a paradigm in crisis to a new one from which a new tradition of normal science can emerge is far from a cumulative process, one achieved by an articulation or extension of the old paradigm."

35. Wild Swans by Jung Chang

"I was extremely curious about the alternatives to the kind of life I had been leading, and my friends and I exchanged rumors and scraps of information we dug from official publications. To me, the ultimate proof of freedom in the West was that there seemed to be so many people there attacking the West and praising China."

36. Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, by Shunryu Suzuki

"Even though you try to put people under control, it is impossible. You cannot do it. The best way to control people is to encourage them to be mischievous. Then they will be in control in a wider sense. To give your sheep or cow a large spacious meadow is the way to control him. So it is with people: First let them do what they want, and watch them. This is the best policy. To ignore them is not good. That is the worst policy. The second worst is trying to control them. The best one is to watch them, just to watch them, without trying to control them."

37. Zero to One, by Peter Thiel

"It's hard to develop new things in big organizations, and it's even harder to do it by yourself. Bureaucratic hierarchies move slowly, and entrenched interests shy away from risk. In the most dysfunctional organizations, signaling that work is being done becomes a better strategy for career advancement than actually doing work (if this described your company, you should quit now)."

Genevieve Nnaji steps out in style

2016-04-19T08:49:00.000-07:00

The actress looking corporate chic in an outfit from her St.Genevieve clothing line..

Flavour shares photos with his dad,mum and daughter

2016-04-19T08:42:00.002-07:00

The star pictured with his dad,mum and daughter with Anna Banner at his dad's birthday celebration .He captioned it three generations.

How Fear Affects Your Thinking and Ways You Can Fight Back

2015-09-29T10:37:00.002-07:00

Fear can be a great survival tool. But as a way of life? It has some nasty side effects.

In every stressful or threatening situation, your brain starts logging details and adding warning labels. You may not notice at the time—you're too busy dealing with the situation—but later, whenever you encounter one similar detail to that threatening situation, you'll find yourself with sweaty palms and a racing heart. Once triggered, fear manifests in one of two primary ways: as a continual low-level fear or as a high-level, intense fear.

Anxiety is the low-level, everyday, garden-variety type of fear. It's an alertness to potential danger rather than a response to present danger. When you're anxious, your brain releases stress hormones and shuffles your priorities. Instead of focusing intently on one thing, you go into a vigilant scanning mode.

This is really useful if, say, you're on the savanna and need to notice that clump of bushes swaying before the lion jumps out. It's not so useful if the anxiety is triggered by deadlines, strained relationships, financial pressure or an overloaded inbox. In those cases, hyper-alert mode keeps you from concentrating, which is precisely what you must do to solve those anxiety-inducing problems.

The full fear response is intense, usually short-lived, and has profound effects on your body and mind. The first major effect is energy redirection. When fear kicks in, survival—rather than health—becomes paramount. Your brain reroutes energy to necessary survival skills, like eyesight and muscle response. Other functions, such as your digestive system, get put on hold.

Fear also redirects your thinking. Normally, sensory inputs take a long, leisurely route through your prefrontal cortex, where they are evaluated. Logical, abstract moral, and creative thinking all happen here. Fear gives your sensory inputs a short-cut, straight to your emotional, instinctive center: the amygdala. Here you get quick, concrete, reactive, specific thinking and emotionally or instinctively-driven decisions.

You can probably see how emotionally driven decisions might not be helpful when the fear you face is, say, an angry boss or an unhappy spouse.

Fortunately, there are some actions you can take to keep fear from controlling how you think. Here are three:

1. Recognize fear with body check-ins.

Perform a simple, hourly body check-in by asking yourself, What am I feeling right now? and then scanning your body, head to toes. When you find something off, such as strained vision, tense shoulders, heartburn or shallow breathing, ask yourself, Why am I feeling this right now? If you can identify the source of the fear, you can then face it consciously and determine if it is a real threat or not.

2. Reduce fear with buffers.

Everyday situations can cause unending anxiety that literally disables your brain from doing concentrated, creative work. Ease your anxiety by building buffer into your work and personal life. Set up soft deadlines a few days before the real deadlines. Add transition time between meetings, clients or events. Schedule extra commute time. As much as you can, space out your obligations and projects so your brain can relax and do its work well.

3. Face fear with controlled experiences.

For defined triggers, those distinct fears you know you have, you can slowly train yourself to handle them better. Nothing extreme; just decide on a simple action you'll take instead of freezing the next time you encounter the trigger. Freezing is the body's initial, automatic response. When you force yourself to take a different action instead, you slowly retrain your brain to respond to that particular fear in a different (more productive) way. Over time your brain learns that this trigger is not an unpredictable danger, but a manageable, if unpleasant, situation that you can handle.

Being unaware of fear can keep us locked into it. But when you know what fear feels like, looks like and does to your brain, you can start taking control.

A little stress is good, too much stress is bad, and understanding it can be everything. There’s no escaping everyday anxiety, so learn how to harness it.

Amazing Things That Will Happen When You Stop Caring What Other People Think

2015-04-15T10:11:00.003-07:00

Where would you be if you learned how to stop caring what other people think?

As humans, we have a primal need to fit in. In order to be initiated into the tribe, we try to come across as “normal” people. We often express ourselves conservatively, in order to not come across as weird or awkward.

The truth is everyone is normal (average) until you really get to know them. Owning your actions and making yourself vulnerable in front of others can be incredibly difficult at times but in the end it is healthier for you and for those around you. Here are 11 reasons why you should stop caring what other people think.

1. You use less energy filtering your words and actions, and expend more energy on creating relationships

If interacting with others is like driving a car, then filtering your words and actions is like putting speed bumps all over your highway of interaction. The more speed bumps you have, the slower you have to go to avoid losing control of your car. It becomes incredibly difficult to gain momentum, and takes a long time to reach your final destination (making an emotional connection and mutually benefiting each other). Isn’t that why we interact with people?

The more you filter yourself, the less people will truly get to know you. You might be a Mercedes Benz in your head, but as you constantly filter yourself, you’re going to come across as an old, beat-up Ford Pinto.

2. You become much more attractive

There is something inherently attractive about someone who doesn’t care what other people think. I’m not saying that more people will like you; there is a difference between being likeable and being attractive. Having an indifferent, carefree attitude is refreshing and contagious, and is a great way to help others break out of their “autopilot”.

Think of it this way. If you’re confident and don’t care what others think, people are going to want to be noticed by you, not use you to feel better about themselves.

3. You attract people that are good for you, and eliminate the ones that aren’t

Having a mindset of not caring what others think is a self-weeding garden. The people that appreciate your opinions and enjoy your company will stick with you, while the people that don’t like you will stay away from you.

The feeling of being well-liked is great, but having too many “friends” can be stressful and difficult to manage. You have to ask yourself if you want a wide array of shallow relationships with acquaintances, or a more concentrated group of deep and meaningful friendships.

4. You don’t feel obligated to change yourself for people

You don’t have to wear a ton of hats for all your different social situations. Trying to fit into a variety of groups can be exhausting, and is not a worthwhile endeavor. It is healthier and less stressful to simply be respected for being who you want to be.

5. You please yourself instead of trying to please everyone

Who are you really living for? It’s not selfish to please yourself at times, because after all, you are at the center of your own universe. Doing things for others is a great way to boost your self-esteem, but you have to ask yourself: am I getting what I want out of life?

6. You feel free

When was the last time you truly felt free as a bird? Free from the fear of failure? Free from the bondage to a life chosen for you by others? Free from social constructs that prevent you from doing what you want to do?Not caring what other people think is a great first step on your way to this nirvana.

7. You start enjoying interactions more

It is easiest to get the most out of interactions with others when you are outcome-independent. When you aren’t trying to convince others that you are a really cool person or trying to sway their opinion on something, you can spend time basking in the beauty of a mentally-stimulating interaction.

When you genuinely don’t care whether someone likes you or not, it is easiest to be yourself and paradoxically this makes it easier to connect with people!

8. You rely more on yourself for happiness, not others

When you look inward to gain happiness as opposed to judging your own value based on others, it is significantly easier to obtain a sustainable happiness that stays with you, regardless of how other people’s lives affect you. Other people’s happiness comes and goes, and it is not healthy to rely on others when trying to maximize your own happiness.

9. People will feel more comfortable around you

Living with an intense fear of social judgement can lead some people to a shy demeanor that severely limits their social contributions. Being more of a quiet type is not a negative thing, but it can cause some apprehension at times.

According to recent studies, we have about 50000 thoughts per day. If you don’t share any of these thoughts, people can get nervous. If you never share anything, how do they know you aren’t an ax murderer? How do they know you don’t run science experiments on small animals in your free time?

These examples are a bit extreme, but the fact is you feel more comfortable around people that you know and understand. When you live silently, you may know that you aren’t a crazy person, but others may be left with an uncomfortable apprehension about you.

10. You subconsciously allow other people to stop caring what other people think

Emotional contagion is a powerful tool.

When you have the mindset of not caring what other people think, it is easy for that mindset to become contagious and be adopted by others. When people know that they aren’t being silently judged, they can feel more comfortable in their own skin, and they anchor that feeling to the person who allows them to obtain that feeling – You.

11. You can fall in love

One of the greatest ways to bond with members of the opposite sex is to so show not only confidence, but vulnerability. A 1997 study on love at Stony Brook University found that: “Escalating reciprocal self-disclosure under conditions of mutual vulnerability can have rapid, dramatic, long term romantic consequences.”

In other words: when you share and escalate embarrassing stories/details about your life to a member of the opposite sex, you can actually fall in love. By sharing intimate details about yourself, you show that you don’t fear their judgement and are not overly concerned with their opinion of you, which is an incredibly attractive trait.

It is important to note that not caring what other people think is NOT the same thing as being selfish or self-centered. It’s about being self-confident and owning yourself, and not fearing the social judgement of others.As soon as you realize that people’s judgements of you are not going to harm you, it is much easier to feel free and become your best self.

Pulling Success Out of Setbacks

2014-07-14T23:57:00.001-07:00

I thought i should share this with your! Credit to THINK STOCK

To say we’ve had setbacks is an understatement. On just about every one of our major projects, there have been setbacks from the start, continuing on through every phase, including finding the right partner, negotiating the deal, staffing up, delivering, assessing and even winding down. I wouldn't know what smooth sailing feels like.

Setbacks aren’t the same as failures. Failure is when you reach the point where you can’t continue on toward your goal; you’ve ended up on a dead-end track, and there’s no way to get from here to there. Setbacks, in contrast, can be part of your path to success—they may be detours from a straight-line route, but they might lie along a potentially viable route, leaving you with a way forward.

In fact, you could define success as the positive culmination of a series of setbacks. If you’re not encountering any hitches, either you’ve failed to lead your organization toward its most promising and therefore challenging opportunities, or you’re simply missing all the clues that setbacks are brewing.

Even though setbacks are part and parcel of success, they can still sink you if you don’t deal with them effectively. Here are my strategies for pushing past setbacks:

Establish an early warning system. It was when we failed to see trouble on the horizon that we were most badly bitten by a setback. In general, the sooner you start in on a fix, the more options you’ll have to avoid real damage. Everyone in the organization from the front lines to leadership should feel encouraged to report bad news immediately. We also solicit frank client feedback on an ongoing basis.

Measure. Sometimes you won’t be able to notice that things are slipping unless you’ve got good data at your fingertips. Setting up a solid measurement and analysis system can take real effort, but it will pay for itself many times over.

Don’t overreact. You want to move swiftly to assess your options and begin repairs, but often our first instinct when confronted with trouble is to do what turns out to be exactly the wrong thing. If you take drastic action before you understand what’s happening, you can make things worse.

Trust your team. It’s tempting for a leader to jump in and try to solve serious problems when they arise. But if you’ve done your job as a leader, you’ve put a team in place that deserves a shot at fixing things. Certainly you’ll want to provide guidance, support and resources, but that should be all you need to contribute, unless things continue to go downhill.

Don’t bail out prematurely. It’s hard to tell a setback from failure until you’re looking back on it. Better to assume it’s just a setback and pound away at the problem as long as you see options. One of our biggest challenges, for example, is a sudden shortage of talented, experienced people to staff a large, new collaboration. We don’t solve that problem as much as wear it down through recruiting, training, mentoring, shuffling positions, and much more.

Don’t make failure worse. All organizations encounter failure. Don’t flail and throw good money after bad, or place further demands on partners and clients who have clearly had enough. Back away as gracefully as possible, leaving as few bad feelings and wasted resources in your wake as possible.

Build an institutional memory. Every setback and failure comes with a build-up, warning signs, recognition of a problem, repair efforts, assessments, and good or poor results. Record these in a lessons-learned database that all managers can use, so that when history repeats itself, it’s to good end.