Diary of a Mad Businesswoman

Breaking the silence

2010-02-23T21:33:00.003-06:00

I'm sure alot of people wonder why I would do a show where I talk about my own personal experience with abuse. Being a victim of spousal abuse changed who I am as a person. I used to be one of those people who believed in the inherent goodness of the world, and that bad things only happened to bad people. For a long time, I blamed my terrifying experience on my innocence, and became very jaded.

It hasn't been easy for me to talk about. I've been divorced for 2 years and I still cry when I think about the things my ex husband did to me. I suffered from a kind of post traumatic stress syndrome, and I literally wasn't able to face life for a long time. luckily, during this time I read eat, love, pray. While the author of that book may not have had my harrowing experience, it made me feel better about needing time to heal, and different ways to do so.

Then I hit my turning point. I began to ask myself if I hadn't already suffered enough. Yes, I made a mistake in choosing my life partner. Yes, I allowed others to take advantage of my innocence. But hadn't I paid the price for that in tears and blood? I would say so.

It's been a long road, but each day I am on my way to healing. I know there is a reason I went through everything that I did, and I wanted to talk about it because I now know that my story belongs to millions of other women out there who have suffered like I suffered, but didn't have the platform to broadcast their experience. For better or worse, I have the microphone now, and I wanted to say something that mattered.

I know that there are people who will be angry that I have spoken the unspeakable, and that's fine. The time has come for me to move past the hurt, and into the joy. Part of that is losing the gag that kept me from finally, once and for all letting go of everything I was holding inside. I hope that women across the nation hear this, and take note. It happened to me, it may be happening to you or someone you know, and you are not alone.

A businesswoman's Dirty Little Secret

2010-02-21T17:09:00.001-06:00

Domestic violence and abuse do not discriminate. It happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. It occurs within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels.1 in 2 women will experience abuse at the hands of a significant other. This statistic increases based on race, and economic status. Even though women have achieved sucess in the business world, why are we still suffering in our relationships?

Resources for women:

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-787-3224.

http://www.soroptimist.org/news/fs_dvi.html - offers business grants for women headed households

www.makeityourbusiness.org.- business policies on domestic abuse

http://www.preventabusiverelationships.com/

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/2626967/checklist_for_recognizing_domestic.html- checklist for abusive relationships

Margaret Anderson Kelliher for Governor

2010-02-14T11:25:00.000-06:00

Summary of show:

Women need to become more active in the political process. We have shown up in record numbers to vote, but not to participate in the process. Margaret Anderson Kelliher has over a decade of experience in public service, and has dedicated her life to serving others. As Governor, Margaret would champion our causes: Health Care reform, Job Creation, Education, and protect our environment.

For more information on Margaret, you can visit her at
www.margaretforgovernor.com
Twitter: margaretakelliher

If you are ready to participate in the process, you can do as little as volunteer, or as much as run for office.

Visit:
thewhitehouseproject.org
emilyslist.org

Margaret Anderson Kelliher Live on Mad Businsswomen's Radio!

2010-02-09T19:20:00.000-06:00

Listen in at www.blogtalkradio.com/mrsmadbiz

Mad Businesswomen's radio is excited to present the possible first female governor of Minnesota, Margaret Anderson Kelliher live! Margaret is currently engaged in a tight race to lock down the DFL nomination in the 2010 Governor's election, and showed exceedingly well in the DFL caucus.

“It’s really important to me that Minnesotans from all over the state, all different walks of life, all different backgrounds, are involved in my campaign for Governor because it’s not just my campaign for Governor. It’s our campaign for Governor.”

Margaret has been endorsed by Emily's list, and is accumulating union endorsements at the speed of light. Both the AFSCME council 65 and the IBEW have endorsed her for governor.

Don't miss this once in a life time opportunity to hear for Margaret Anderson Kelliher live and in her own words.

Listen in at www.blogtalkradio.com/mrsmadbiz

More articles on Margaret Anderson Kelliher

Best of the Gubernatorial Debate 2010
Governor Anderson Endorses Margaret Anderson Kelliher
Margaret for Governor

Eating your cake, and loving your family too

2010-02-05T21:02:00.000-06:00

Eating your cake, and loving your family too

Is it possible to really balance work and home life? Mad Businesswomen get real on the subject of being a mom and managing your business. Join Ini Augustine and special guest Heather Sedlock as we discuss real life issues that affect women in business.

Search Engine Optimization and SEO Tools

Heather E. Sedlock, age 33, is a married, stay-at-home mom of two boys. Heather and her two boys are on the autism spectrum while her husband has various physical disabilities. Her lifetime experience as someone with autism and her two sons having autism led her to write about it in various places. It is her passion to share quality information with parent about autism and other issues that affect parents whose children have special needs. Heather currently writes for examiner.com as the National Special Needs Kids writer. She discusses the types of special needs that kids may have and reports relevant science-based news on studies, new products or services of interest. You may visit Heather at www.examiner.com/x-10560-Special-Needs-Kids-Examiner .

A Worthwhile Cause

2010-02-03T22:46:00.000-06:00

A Worthwhile Cause recycle your old bras

Governor's Debate Awards 2010 Part II

2010-01-31T10:43:00.000-06:00

Governor's Debate Awards 2010 Part II

The official awards list for the Minnesota Governors Debate 2010

The Magic Text

2010-01-22T20:13:00.000-06:00

I've always said that having my own business is like having a child. During the first years of a child's life, they largely depend on you for everything. If your child doesn't show certain behaviors on time, it's implied that it is your fault. I just released my new trainee into the field, and I am worried to make sure that she succeeds. After all, if you can't help others be successful, are you really a success yourself? It also doesn't help that my future career hangs in the balance.

No pressure or anything. When I moved over to Minneapolis from my previous office, there was a hysterical level of drama. The office got closed down because the other manager was having an affair with one of his agents, and everyone was in an uproar. Complaints were filed, fits where thrown and chaos ensued. While this is clearly an abbreviated version of events( the true story being too convoluted for a blog posting), I escaped from that office with my reputation singed, but my honor intact. The rumor was that I couldn't train other agents because I was too Difficult to Work With.

The Difficult to Work With label is very very sticky. It is what men call women they can't control or predict. I must confess. I secretly admire the Wilhemina on Ugly Betty. But does this make me evil? I think not! This label is the corporate version of the scarlet letter. Interestingly enough, Hillary Clinton is described as " Difficult to Work With". That label cost her the presidency. So you can understand my concern.

I had to start all over with hiring when I moved to Minneapolis. I hired someone I thought was a rock star, and have tried my best to pour everything I know about sales into her for the last 2 weeks. I'm proud of her, but I can tell the stress is getting to her. Insurance, weird as it sounds, is not for the faint of heart. Every day in the home is a a war to sell, and either you sell a policy and leave with a check, or you get sold the " I want to think" about it excuse, and leave with a headache.

I wouldn't have hired her if I wasn't convinced she could be successful. Who would want's that on their conscience if a new hire fails? At the end of the day though, the question has to be answered. Can she be successful? I'm waiting on pins and needles for the magic text: I got a sale! If I get that text, she will be one of the highest producing agents, I know it. But if I don't get the text,she may become discouraged, and I may not be trusted to train new agents again.

Pray for success Ya'll!

Love Peace, and stamina

Mrs. Mad Biz

Mad Businesswomen get Benefits!

2010-01-17T11:35:00.000-06:00

Social justice can never occur without economic equality.

That is why Mad Business Women's Radio has partnered with American Income to provide a no cost benefits package to each and every member! We are committed to serving all families, and protecting each child. Mad Businesswomen will receive:

up to 5 Child Safety kits sponsored by the International Police Union Association

$2,000 Accidental Death and Dismemberment policy

Health Services Discount Program that helps families save 10-60% on health care expenses
Family Information Guide to consolidate important family information

Most importantly, all Mad Businesswomen will receive access to the Family Care program, designed to help protect America's working families.

All at no cost to each member!

All members are encouraged to protect their children and families immediately!

To receive your benefits package, simply join the blog today, and receive your enrollment information via email.

Maintaining your health while chasing that wealth

2010-01-17T10:23:00.000-06:00

Maintaining your health while chasing that wealth If you ignore your health, it will go away. If you don't make time for wellness, you will be forced to make time for illness. Join Ini to discuss how health factors into your business plan. Exclusively for Mad Businesswomen, Inie Clement will share secrets on staying young and healthy while pursuing success. Inie Clement is a certified Nutritionist and Pharmacist. Self employed for 27 years, Inie knows the ropes to managing your health, and your business together. This is a can't miss event. 3 lucky listeners will receive a free private nutrition consultation with Inie! Visit Inie online at www.ichealthpluswellness4all.com or call her at 1-888-687-2573

The Nuclear N Word

2009-12-22T10:46:00.000-06:00

I was one of those people who believed that racism was dead. I attended school in Iowa, with a largely Caucasian population, and was pushed by my teachers to attain academic excellence, with never a thought that my color might be a setback. I have worked in corporate America for the past 14 years, and have been promoted, paid, and generally treated well by my co-workers. Then, in the culmination of all that I believed, in 2008 we elected our first black president. While many of my friends and family would tell me that racism was still alive and that there were people that actually hated blacks. And then the nuclear N-bomb was dropped.

To explain the situation properly, I feel I must go back to the beginning of the story. After I shut down my own company, I started a new business with Am____ I_____. I have done well there, been paid more than I could.have ever hoped, doing a job that is almost as easy as breathing for me. All of my training at fortune 500 companies, my previous self employment experience, all culminated in my astounding success with A_________I________. The only fly in the jelly was Jimmy.

Jimmy was a troubled individual. As he strolled through the office, he trailed a grim and suffocating cloud of drama with him. We constantly would butt heads. Jimmy wanted to be an agent, but due to his felony status could not be licensed with the state, and so hated on all the other agents. When I decided to take my career to the next level and start building my own team, J___ insisted that I work with Jimmy to do my interviews. Not wanting to rock the boat, I complied. However, after 3 months of calling people in for interviews, none of my people were ever hired. Odd, huh?

I decided to hire on my own, then Jimmy began to abuse me in the office. Jimmy would constantly question my qualifications, and once, shouted at me in front of my team members. In particular, I remember one instance where I had set up to do a job fair. I notified my manager, J___ of what I was doing, and then the day before I was to go, Jimmy found out. He accosted me in the front desk area, shouting that I didn’t even know what I was doing; on whose authority I thought I could do a job fair. While I was seething with anger, I very civilly told him that I am a Senior Professional in Human Resources, that I ran my own staffing company, and that I was exceedingly well qualified to attend a job fair to find new talent. And furthermore, I was confused as to why he would feel that I needed permission from anyone, much less him, to do so. After that, he left me alone, but I knew I had created an enemy.....

The Nuclear N Word, Continued

2009-12-22T10:43:00.000-06:00

My co-worker, J____ was having her 23rd birthday at Jimmy’s house, and everyone from work was invited. I came and had a great time. We ate grilled salmon, had a few beers. After things got boring, we then went to the club and generally had a ball. We then returned to his house, and were sitting around the table in Jimmy’s kitchen. All of a sudden, Jimmy’s roommate did something that annoyed him, and there in his kitchen, surrounded by his co-workers, he turns to his roommate and says” Why did you do that? You are such a fucking Nigger!” Immediately, uproar ensued. Everyone began shouting at the same time. In one fell swoop, Jimmy had ruined the night.

One of my co-workers, D____, actually said that he wanted to punch Jimmy in the face. He has a brother and sister that are half black. J_____ was shouting, and on the verge of tears.

I very calmly told Jimmy that I objected to his use of the N word. The simple fact that he would use that word, even if not directed at me, or an African American (his room mate was white) was unacceptable. So many people have died and been hurt through the use of that word, that I believe we should stop using it out of respect for all of those people who have been hurt by that culture of hate. He replied that he was raised in a racist household, where that word was used all the time. I refused to accept that excuse, and told him that people who think that way and use that type of speech are actually viewed as the lowest of the low. He apologized, and, in order to move on, I told him that I accepted his apology.

If only it had ended there. After that situation calmed down, we all went into the garage, and continued to hang out. Out of nowhere, Jimmy and one of my other co-workers, B___, began to fight. Yes, actually brawl, there in front of everyone. In an effort to separate myself from the drama, I went in side, but the sounds of a struggle continued. At that point, I decided to go home, so I go through the garage to get to my car, and see my J__ punching Jimmy in the face repeatedly. I simply waved good bye to everyone and me and B____ left. As I was driving, however, I realized that I would not be able to make it home in my alcohol sodden condition, so I pulled over and B___ gave me a ride home.

Yet the drama continued. Although I had left, Jimmy continued. After scattering the final ashes of everyone’s enjoyment, Jimmy proceeded to kick everyone out of his house. He then called all of the C level executives in A___I______, and cursed them out via phone! at 3 am!! He also contacted all of the new hires and told them that our company was a scam! Needless to say, he is no longer with the company, but he went out in a blaze of glory.

It was shocking to me that at one point in time, one such as myself (attractive, well spoken, educated) might have been owned by one such as Jimmy (uneducated, slovenly, criminal). 50 years ago, I would have had to duck my head and ignore his behavior, and possibly even been forced to laugh along. In 2009, I didn’t need to respond. The negative response of my co-workers was even more intense than my reply.

I write this blog in the hope that those of us, African Americans included, who still use this type of language, will realize the way that they look to the majority of the world. We are all family now. Most black people I know have white relatives, and most white people I know have black relative too. When you hold those types of beliefs, and use those types of languages, you are viewed by the world as a N_______ yourself: ignorant, uneducated, and lazy. If you want to keep the same company as felons like Jimmy, continue on

Heartbreak Catalyst

2009-12-15T22:07:00.000-06:00

On my way back from Galesburg, I stopped by my Auntie’s house and spent the night with her. While I was there, I looked up my old friend for lunch, and ended up spending the night there. I hadn’t really seen my friends in 10 years, and I was shocked at how much I had genuinely forgotten. The summer of 1999 was my summer of freedom. That time was when love was the purest, and the day never seemed to end.

Part of the tragedy of my life was the death of trust, the murder of the belief that the world was a safe place and people were fundamentally good. Now I remember why I felt that the world was good and that people naturally loved others. I wasn’t just a naive child, delusional and unfocused. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by love, filled with it, and not even see its radiance. I had so much love around me that I took it as a matter of course that love was easy. Back then it was. Relationships were based on that natural attraction two humans have, un-influenced by politics or necessity.

Remembering how easy and free it used to be was too painful to remember. While I was in Des Moines, I finally got a hold of the person I love best in the world. These past 10 years have been painful for more than just me. My joy at seeing him combined with my grief and guilt in losing him somehow broke through. The sudden burst of sorrow cracked my heart open like an eggshell.

I remember how I used to hang out at Greenwood Park and the weekend long parties and when I stayed with my friend’s family. I remember him knocking on my apartment door and telling me that if I wanted, I could stop by anytime. I remember braiding his hair, and us falling asleep watching TV. I remember telling him not to worry, that I would be right back. Only I didn’t come back for 10 years.

I have always been a traveler, moving easily from place to place. It didn’t matter much because I formed friendships easily. But I lost those friendships even easier. How could I not even think about the people who set the stage for who I am now? The person I stayed with that night in Des Moines was my best friend during my summer of freedom, that bridge between teenager and adult. Yet somehow, I never made the effort t to keep in touch. How fragile relationships are, how breakable. It was frightening to realize that I still love all the people I have ever loved.

Is it arrogant to believe that one person can change a life? Perhaps. I still wonder what the quilt of our lives would look like if my thread had been included. Would the picture be different? Of course. Better? I suppose that’s subjective. Richer? Without a doubt. I have to move, grow, and still hold on to the people I have in my life. People haven’t changed. I have. I stopped making the effort.

The change starts today. I’ve been hurt in the past, and I’ve made mistakes. I didn’t need to be alone in these experiences, and I won’t be again. The only thing that matters is the people in your life. Hold on to them, and don’t let go, no matter how far life takes you. They are precious.

How to use Welfare for Job Creation Part II

2009-12-11T08:46:00.000-06:00

In this economy, people are not unemployed because they don't have job skills. They are unemployed because there are no jobs they can work that pay a livable wage. Yet the County of Anoka is willing to pay upwards of $2,500 to train them on how to become a professional customer service representative. These hard working, fully trained individuals will receive beautiful certificates to hang at home. But they will not receive a job. There’s this thing called a recession going on, and they will wait for months to even get a call on their meticulously written resumes.

You see, having a job to work in is the key to employment. This may come as a surprise to the state of Minnesota, but all the training in the world does not one bit of good unless there’s a job opening. So why not use our welfare dollars to create job openings?

The infrastructure is already in place. Make the small business option an approved work plan through the Diversionary Work Program, or MFIP. If some resources are redirected in this way, possibly supplemented with TARP money, Anoka County could be the test market for a revolution in economic recovery, as well as providing residents with a vehicle out of poverty. The current welfare programs already offer job training, as well as cash support and assistance with utility payments. However, they actually discourage people from working because as soon as people start making enough to be marginally above the poverty line, benefits get cut.

Take the top 10% of people in that class with good work history out of that DWP/MFIP training class. Teach them how to put together a business plan. Provide training in those areas of future economic growth. Prepare them to apply for TARP or economic recovery finance dollars. Support them with professional mentors through WomenVenture, or SCORE, as well as help them pay their bills during start up. Stop wasting money on companies that truly don’t contribute to the health of our economy, and use our social programs to train the next generation of business owners.
Check out iRobot's Clearance Section!
That money would come back to the state in the form of increased tax collection, as well as increased consumer spending. With a strong, small business based economy, Minnesota will be more resilient in the next down turn.

www.minnesotahelp.com
wwww.minnesotaworks.org
www.sba.gov
www.womenventure.org
www.co.anoka.mn.us

How to Apply for Welfare

2009-12-10T18:07:00.000-06:00

The process to get approved for assistance is humiliating. They poke and prod you, asking for detailed financial information, your paystubs, bank accounts, and more. Be prepared to provide copies of all of your financial information for the past 3 months. Then, after providing the information, they call you a liar and investigate. While they investigate, they will try at every opportunity to disqualify you for assistance.

You do have to literally be destitute to qualify. I qualified after living with no heat for 2 months. I only had $20 in change to my name. I had to spend that last $20 on gas to repeatedly go to the office and make sure my benefits were approved. The clerk at the gas station was strangely unenthusiastic about counting my change when I filled up. I would go to the office twice per day: at 8 am when the office opened, and 12:30 when my worker came back from work. The key is to be constantly lurking when they least expect it. I was too desperate to play the welfare office shuffle. I don’t blame my worker for the situation. The social workers are typical government employees: under-paid, overworked, and with a tendency to shift responsibility to others.

After a month long process, they will deign to release benefits to you. By the time my benefits were released, I hadn’t eaten in 2 days. I know there are food banks, and soup kitchens, but I didn’t want to risk using my meager tank of gas on extra trips. I am lucky enough to have extra weight to spare. That said, I wouldn’t advise the So Poor I Can’t Afford Food Diet” to anyone.

How to make $65 from garbage

2009-11-28T21:18:00.000-06:00

Just had another major blow out with my ex husband. He was supposed to come and get some of his things, but I knew he just wanted to come and get his TV stand because he bought a new TV. Because I am ornery, I told him he couldn't have it. and not to come. He came anyway, brought a friend, and as he loaded his stuff, he "accidentally" loaded the TV stand too. I went ballistic because the last time he came to my house he stole a $7,000 server from me. Well, I guess technically I did sell his $4,500 TV to pay the mortgage. But still...

The point is, even if you went through a messy divorce , like I did, you probably have a lot of stuff you don't use that you can get rid of to drum up some money. Before now, I would have been shocked to know how few items a person actually needs to survive. You really only need one outfit for work, one for sleep, one for play. The poorest person I know lives a luxurious life compared to someone in a 3rd world country.

Pawn Shops
I know that bracelet you got from your cousin Millie has emotional value. All joking aside, the thought of selling the bracelet your mother gave you hurts.Keep in mind, however, the price of gold is at an all time high. Regardless of what happens with the financial market, gold and gemstones will always be an acceptable form of tender. I gathered up all of my broken rings, watches, and necklaces, and brought them in to Pawn America. I paid about $900 total for all of my jewelery a year ago, and when I left the Pawn America, I left with a little over $300 in hard cash. While I obviously didn't make a profit, I still felt good about the exchange. When you have lost everything, you feel somehow braver with a wad of cash in your pocket.

Craigslist
When my divorce was finally completed, I emotionally could not stand the sight of the couches, TV's and decorations I had. From what I understand, this is a common thing. I ended up with a garage full of everything you would need to fully furnish a 4 bedroom home. Rather hold onto your emotional and literal garbage, why not sell it? A great, free web site is www.craigslist.org . You can post ads to sell just about anything, and usually sell it within 48 hours. I made about $200 in 2 days just from old furniture, clothes, and DVD's. You can also use craigslist to publicize your garage sale. It's also been a big part of my healing process in releasing what I don't need, figuratively, as well as physically.

Consignment Shops
Consider your current job title and situation. If you are currently working part time at the Subway to make ends meet (like a lot of people are), you probably don't need that Elie Saab right now. Yes, I know it matches the Dooney & Burke purse. I worked part time at a copy shop to have some spending money for a while, and all of my suits and scarves just sat in my closet. I picked out the 3 sharpest outfits I had and set those aside. The rest went to the consignment shop. After my items sold I added had $150. I used that money to pay for baby sitting.

Nu Look Consignment
Turn Style Consignment
Encore Consignment

C

How to survive on $100 a week

2009-11-20T22:03:00.000-06:00

No one told me that being in business was going to be easy. It’s not enough to make a dollar stretch, that dollar has to squeal like a torched pig. This week, my paycheck was only $100, so I know I need to make that last until next Friday. The most important thing in my budget is my gas, as I drive a lot.

My goal is to save $10 a week. I purchased $20 worth of food at the grocery store, and used the cashback option to get $10 out of my account without paying the $2.00 atm fee. I rolled up the $1 bills in a rubber band and furtively stashed them.

I just got the notice today from my lender’s attorney, saying they were going to foreclose. Oddly enough, as soon as I saw the envelope I got a rush of euphoria. Yes, euphoria. I have been expecting the hammer to drop for such a long time that when it finally did drop I felt better. For better or worse, it is always satisfying to be right. It hit me so hard that I think I may actually have been knocked temporarily silly.

As I tore open the letter, I saw that the bank was asking me to pay $279,000 or forfeit my home. I immediately thought “Well, at least there’s hope. I could make $300,000 in 6 months.” See what I mean? I think I must be a junkie for abuse or something. The voice ( oh yeah , the Voice) says that surely, all my problems would be over if I made, say $500,000 in the next 4 months.

I could just walk away from this house, and save up for another... hopefully. But the entrepreneur in me can let it go. This is my home, and they will have to claw it out of my hands while I kick their groin area repeatedly. I've got a few strategies I'm considering.

1. Work really hard this month and put together $10,000 to pay a lawyer just to sue Citimortgage. Repeatedly. I have been through 3 different loan modification programs with them, and the only thing I am sure of is that they refuse to agree to a permanent solution. I will have no where to live if they foreclose. The process of kicking a mother and child out of their home should be as expensive as possible for Citimortgage.

2. Make $279,000 before the sherrif's sale. Hey, it could happen, right? Right? RIGHT?

3. List my home and hope it sells in 3 months or less.I believe I could sell my home for what I paid for it. Did I also mention that I believe the world is square and fairy dust cures the swine flu?