The Journey

An attempted walk

2014-02-21T11:02:00.001-08:00

Last week, the kids and I were craving adventure. It has been a month of being pretty shut in because of the incredible wind and cold and rain. Well this particular day, it wasn't supposed to rain until the afternoon and the wind was much lighter than it had been. We ventured out to a beautiful park with trails that are great for kids. We saw ducks and little birds in the bushes. We saw a mom with a couple boys and a dog. Suddenly, we hit the puddles... Zariyah thought it looked fun so she walked right in... just past her knees. Her boots were full of bacteria laden frozen (there was still ice!) water. This was only about 200 meters from out car and we had intended on about a mile and a half walk. That dream was over. Back to the car we went. Zariyah's feet were already frozen from the water. Her socks were removed and we headed back home.

How often do we hold expectations on how days are going to go. Or how our life is going to go. What if our 5 year plan doesn't work out quite as we expected or turns in to a 10 year plan or a retirement plan or a never happened plan? I'm learning to let things go. I'm learning to set boundaries for what is right for our family and when things don't work out, let it go.

That walk felt monumental to my tired, overwhelmed brain. I was looking forward to the peace and quiet, but instead I got a freezing cold adventurer that needed to experience what it was like to run into knee-deep water in the middle of winter. I get it. I sometimes do that too... not run into knee deep water, but choose to do something that I instantly regret. It's part of learning. Just like Zariyah learned that her action probably shouldn't be repeated, I was learning how to let go of my intention and be on point for my child. We went home and played trains and got cozy.

I feel grateful for the experiences that I get to have with my kids. I'm grateful for being challenged and having an opportunity to make the right choice in the same way that I expect my kids to make right choices. I'm learning right along with them.

Blessings

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Thankful

2014-02-15T15:03:00.002-08:00

Today, I'm thankful for laughter.

I've struggled finding joy for years. It seems that pains from childhood like something one person said or an another person took or an observation made can change the way we perceive the world at a very young age. Until it comes to the surface.

My very children are bringing back memories from my childhood. The carefree laughter and pure and simple joys. I miss feeling free to feel. I want that joy that is carefree and full of love. With the help and healing from my father in heaven, my joy is returning. Love is being made new. Freedom to be me in the most unique of ways is being given to me. No more guilt, no more shame, no more fear. I'm thankful for the gift of children.

Blessings to you and yours

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Just about two years later

2014-02-14T15:31:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened in the past couple years. For instance, this little beauty went from a pretty little chunker to a beautiful little lady.

The boys grew into men

Instead of killing myself in an attempt to recap our last two years, I will tell you what we are doing now...

Nathan is doing great at work. Moving up and enjoying what he does. I am so thankful to God that He has a job that allows me to be home with my kids. We are so blessed.

I am staying home with my three and watching another girl 5 days a week. We homeschool and are learning how to play together nicely right now. :) She is a wonderful addition to our group and we are thankful for her every day.

Ezekiel is growing up way too fast. He is tall enough to reach the kitchen faucet and if he struggles he finds a chair and gets the job done. He loves helping, tickling, snuggling and making inventions.

Isaiah is learning how to express his imagination through story telling. He told us an adorable story at the dinner table about two friends who were fighting off a thumb... he was using his one hand for the whole story. We love seeing his free thinking.

Zariyah is our little spitfire. Extremely beautiful with an attitude. She is sweet and loves to hug and kiss and snuggle, but also loves her independence. She can be demanding and can through fits with the best of them, but she is learning boundaries and keeps us laughing almost constantly. She is a little warrior too... she is constantly instigating attack style play with her brothers... growling like a tiger and chasing until she can catch them and give them a tickle. Apparently she is pretty good at tickling too... based on the belly laugh and begging for mercy that Zeke was expressing the other day. :)

We are Expecting our 4th baby on July 4th! We are so excited and looking forward to our journey with another little life.

Keep checking back because this blog will soon be more active.

Blessings

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Happy Birthday Zariyah Toa

2013-05-08T15:32:00.000-07:00

Zariyah Toa Allen is 1!!!

One year stats:
Weight: 18 lbs 11.5 oz's - 15th percentile
Height: 30.5 inches - 90th percentile
Head Circumference: 18 1/4 inches - 80th percentile

Her weight is not one the same pattern as it used to be so she is scheduled for another weight check in one month. Crazy girl!

Zariyah is such an incredible girl. She is sweet and loud and ferocious. She keeps up with her brothers and is absolutely stunningly beautiful as she does. She loves digging in the dirt with them while wearing her dresses and keeps her princess fingers poised. Zariyah is a thinker. She will look you in the eye until she has you figured out. She will go to some immediately and others have to wait until she is ready. At one year, Zariyah, babbles... she reads to us. She likes to point out tree and practice trying to make the sound. It sounds more like t-hee which is more like the sound of a deep exhale. She says pretty - p'tee. She knows she is beautiful and loves to pick her own outfits. She loves being adored. She loves her Dad. She will attack her brothers almost on command and loves to laugh and play with them. She is the best shower snuggler and wants to be with Mom all.the.time. She feels safe and special with me. She likes to eat the things I eat and doesn't like it at all if she can't taste my coffee. poor girl is going to have to get used to that one. She sleeps through the night, but wakes about 5am and cuddles me in bed for 2 hours until her brothers wake up. I love those cuddles. I love the little remnant of co-sleeping that we have left. I'm so thankful for her. She has been walking since she was 10 months and has been trying to run lately. she signs more and claps and nods her head. Zariyah is perceptive and loves to share her beauty. She loves beards and playing peek-a-boo. Chocolate is her favorite and drinking water from a water bottle. She likes to point out the eyes on her baby doll and likes to take things out and put things in or take things off and put things on. She has an incredible sense of humor and loves laughing and smiling and hanging her head upside down and having "upside downtown" time. She has 6 teeth and two on the way... teething has been crazy lately since she had her first on December 5th!

Dear sweet Zariyah,
as I sit to write this post, I am brought to tears. Remembering how you first entered the world and changed my life forever seems like ages ago. Life would not be right without you. When God gave you to me, he gave me a gift that I never could have known in my wildest dreams would mean so much and be so different than any other. You love so deeply and so purely. You have taught me how to be free. You have taught me how to go back to the beginning with knowing how to be a woman. You have shown me true beauty. Zariyah as you grow, please remember the beginning. Remember how beautiful you are. Don't let the world tell you that you are not beautiful or that beauty could go to your head. It can't. Know it. Own it. You were created to be a beautiful beacon of light. You were made to light up a room. I'm so thankful that I get to be your mom. I love helping you. I love teaching you and protecting you. I love watching you learn and grow. You are destined for greatness and I'm so blessed to be a part of your journey.
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Zariyah Toa Allen

2012-06-05T09:07:00.002-07:00

Zariyah Toa Allen

Born at home on 5/8/12

at 6:46pm

7 lbs 1.5 oz 19.5 inches

Zariyah's birth story:
I had been having contractions through the week... I think the first painful one that I had was on Wednesday May 2nd, but it was just one contraction and done. I think I had another one a couple days later too... Then I started having a couple a day and so on. It was odd to me because with the boys, I had braxton hicks throughout the pregnancy, but I definitely didn't have labor contractions until labor started. So Sunday May 6th we got up early to meet Nathan's parents at the Bellingham airport. They were returning from their 4 month stay in American Samoa. After that we went to breakfast with the family and then to church. At church, worship began and so did my contractions. I had about three painful ones during the 30 minute worship set. I started wondering if my body was ready... They stopped after that and returned that afternoon while eating at a family BBQ. Once everyone went home, they got closer together. Probably consistently 30 minutes apart and then closer... 15 minutes apart and in the evening after putting the boys to bed I was timing them at about 10 minutes apart for a couple hours. We got excited! We made sure we had everything ready just in case she came that night... and as soon as I got in bed, they stopped. I noticed right away and was upset. I know that so many woman go through false labor, but I didn't think that false labor contractions acted so similar to "real" ones. I prayed about it and went to sleep. I woke up around 4:30 with very painful contractions for about an hour and a half. Then they stopped and I went back to sleep. I got up around 8 frustrated with my lack of labor and decided to go for a walk around Lake Padden with Keturah. We got to Padden and immediately, Isaiah did a huge poop in his diaper. We were strapped for time because Keturah had to be at work soon. I started changing his diaper only to realize that I was so distracted that I forgot to bring diapers! I decided to just put his pants on him and put a waterproof pad in the stroller and walk anyways. I needed labor to start and I needed to be outside! I had already told Zeke that we could play in the play area for a bit so we had to try to fit that in too... once we got to the play area, Isaiah had wet himself. I felt sooo bad for him! It was totally a bad mom moment... I know. I let Ezekiel play for about 5 minutes and then explained to him that Isaiah was uncomfortable and we needed to go home. While that was going on we talked the whole 2.6 miles about my frustration, what God was trying to teach me through allowing me to go through this pain and frustration. I realized that I already knew what he was doing. I needed to change my perspective and start worshipping him through trials instead of whining about it. During and after the walk the contractions where strong, but probably only 30 minutes apart. I had to stop through a few of them or pause conversation to focus at some points.
I went home and they continued to be about 30 minutes apart. They stopped for a couple hours in the afternoon and then picked up again a little bit when we went to a friend's house for dinner. We had such a nice time with them and I was trying the whole time to just focus on enjoying that time rather than allowing my frustration with the "false labor" to carry on. Once we got home, they hit hard again and were much more painful than before. Nathan put the boys to bed while I laid on the bed trying not to cry as the contractions came and went.
I talked to Nathan a bit that night, but it was frustrating for him too. How could a guy really understand the frustration of false contractions when they have no idea how they feel? He really did a great job trying to be understanding, but it was difficult for both of us to know how to deal with it. We went to sleep and I had a few contractions. I don't remember any waking me in the night. So Tuesday I woke up to contractions around 7am when the boys woke up. Nate was getting ready for work and running a little late. He was trying to help me get set up for the day knowing that I was exhausted and in pain. by the time he was ready to leave, I was beside myself. I was in almost constant pain at this point even between contractions because the muscles were so exhausted from the "false labor" I begged Nathan to stay home from work because I didn't want to be alone with the boys in that state of labor. I felt irritable and didn't know how I would survive the day without snapping at the boys constantly just for being kids or needing me for something. I needed him to be home. Finally he got it and walked out of the room and called his boss to let him know he wouldn't be coming in that day. Thank God!!! I laid in bed all day! I continued having painful contractions and Nate would come in to sit with me, rub my back or just listen to me in my frustration. They were still inconsistent at this point... between 30-18 minutes apart. But painful. I was really having a hard time though them. At around 3pm Nate prayed with me. He sat on the bed and rubbed my arm while I relaxed against him. I was focusing so hard on relaxing my body that he thought I was sleeping during his prayer. My husband's prayers are amazing, but when he doesn't think anyone is listening... They are even more amazing. I am so thankful to have such an amazing man of God as my husband and friend. As he was finishing his prayer a song came on pandora by Jesus Culture from the album Come Away called My Soul Longs. It caught my ear and I started singing it in my head: Let it rain, let it rain. after I sang it through, I immediately had my most painful contraction. Then 18 minutes later had another one after continuing to sing to myself. I felt at that point like God had given me a war cry. It was my inspiration to carry on and finish what was started. I got up and the contractions stopped. I used the bathroom and came out feeling frustrated that the contractions stopped, but announced to Nate that I thought we needed to just call the midwife, Ann, to let her know what had been going on the past few days. He agreed so I called and explained that I knew that I wasn't in "active labor", but felt like something was happening. Since my birth with Isaiah happened so quickly, Ann wanted me to come in to check dilation quickly before she had an appointment at 5. So I jumped in the shower and then Nate and the boys brought me to her office. I went in by myself at about 4:35. She checked my dilation and got a strange look and said that I was dilated to a 5!!! When I went into labor with Ezekiel, I was dilated to a 2 and with Isaiah it was 0. I was shocked and so relieved that I was actually making progress and that the baby could actually make her appearance soon! Ann asked if she could strip my membranes and I agreed. She said that if that didn't send me into labor, she wanted to discuss breaking my water because walking around at 5 centimeters dilated in my case meant that I could go into labor and have my baby anywhere... driving, at the grocery store, alone with the boys... anything so I told her that I would talk to Nate about that and that she could call after her 5pm meeting. I got in the car and told Nate what happened. I felt such relief that something was actually happening! I had my first contraction on alabama st on the way home. The second one when we parked the car and the third one on our door step. I had a feeling it was actually happening. I timed the contractions for about 30 minutes and they were consistently 3 minutes apart lasting 45 seconds to a minute. Nathan called an and told her that what was happening reminded him of what happened last time (while in labor with Isaiah) and asked her to come. Then called Abby who was at work so he called Jesse and he came to pick up the boys. They were soooo excited! as you can see!!

while they were waiting for Uncle Jesse to pick them up, they started getting concerned for me as my labor was getting more intense. Between contractions I was explaining to Zeke how the bones in my body had to move to make room for his sister to come out. Below I was telling him how her head would pop through and then her shoulders... He thought it was hysterical. I on the other hand was having a hard time thinking about what was to come!

Jesse and our midwife Ann got here at about the same time. I continued laboring and as it got more intense, focus got more intense too. This is my mid-contraction focus face.

I was laboring in my room on my knees with arms up on the bed for a while, but once the boys were gone and things quieted down, my body needed to have something lower to lean on. I moved to the living room so I could lean on the couch. Ann and her assistant were sitting in the corner talking quietly and Nate sat on the couch talking with me while I went through it. He was encouraging me, telling me how good I was doing and giving me kisses and rubbed my hands. He is such an amazing birth partner. I could not believe how amazing he was. Every labor and delivery he has been amazing, but it still makes me love him more and more every time. He is such a blessing.

Suddenly things started changing... first of all... I'm sure all of you want to know this... I totally started to notice that I had some intense body odor. In between contractions I actually said "I stink!!" I needed to use some deodorant stat! Which was odd because I usually don't stink. I haven't used any deodorant in maybe 3.5 years? sick. Anyways, I was getting closer and closer and then my water broke and I made a comment about how I felt what I thought was her face moving back and forth and then she entered the birth canal! Transition started and I felt every bit of her body moving through. Man! I think that was the most painful of my three labors. Once I started pushing I think I may have pushed for 10 minutes... It could have been 5. I know that part always seems like an eternity. When she reached the "ring of fire" I heard/felt a pop and thought that I had torn big time! Her head was out and then her shoulders... They hurt worse or the same as her head! I found out later that she had her little fist right up next to her chin as she was coming through the birth canal. Silly girl. Once her body was out I felt almost immediate relief. I felt my body going back to some sort of normal and almost forgot that she was still attached to me and we had the placenta to deliver too. I rested for a brief second and they passed her up to me. I sat back on my knees expecting excrusiating pain from my tear, but I felt no pain. It was odd.... Then they asked me to spin around and lean on the couch so we could deliver the placenta and as I tried to sit, I couldn't sit straight. It wasn't until the next morning at the chiropractors office that I discovered that I may have broken my tail bone during delivery, which would explain the pop and I didn't tear which I am incredibly thankful for.
When they put her in my arms I was so taken back by how beautiful she was. She had a full head of dark brown hair and beautiful little eyes, ears, lips, nose and cheeks! I instantly fell in love with our little baby girl! So in all, once the midwife got to our house we had her about 45 minutes later. It was fast, but also felt like an eternity!

This was as soon as I turned around. She was still attached! The placenta took it's merry time to deliver. :)

Zariyah is a great nurser and is growing and changing so fast. It really is amazing how fast things change. She went down to 6lbs 14oz the first few days but at two weeks was back up to 7lbs 5.5oz. She is growing and changing and super strong! Her eyes are stunning! They are three distinct shades of blue like a rainbow. Light in the center then a ring of medium blue and then a dark ring around the edge. I can't wait to see what color they settle into.

Nathan's first time holding his daughter

Look at that hair!

The boys got to see her the next morning. This was their first time meeting their sweet baby sister.

Isaiah was so eager to hold her. He kept saying "me? me? hold, baby?" So cute and of course lots and lots of kisses! He is such a great big brother!

Zeke was a little more unsure of her. He loved her from a distance but has since warmed up quite well. He is a great big brother!

We are so thankful to God for blessing us with the most perfect children. We love them in every way and we consider ourselves blessed beyond belief.

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What's in a name?

2012-04-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

A lot. In my mind, names can be a blessing or a curse. It's something that you speak over someone every day of their lives and in a sense declare it over them. I am not writing this to criticize anyone for their name or name choices. This is just a strong conviction that I have for my family.

My name is Shaloma. It comes from the Hebrew word shalom (שלום) which means: "Peace, wholeness, safety, prosperity, wellness, to restore..."

My husbands name is Nathan. It is also a Hebrew name (נטהן) which means: "He (God) has given" or "He will give." The popular translation is "Gift of God."

We named our first son Ezekiel (אזקיל) which means: "God will strengthen" or "Strength of the house".
His middle name is Manuia which is a Samoan word meaning: "blessing, peace, grace"
His personality lines up very well with his name. He is a tough boy with so much heart and cares for the people around him. His mind is strong and he can focus intently on tasks that would make my mind feel crazy!

Our second son is Isaiah (ישייה) which means: "God is Salvation" or "Salvation of the Lord".
His middle name is Tumau which is a Samoan name meaning: "to stand up/to stand firm"
God has recently shown me how much the word salvation means love. Or how great love is to save to the extent that he has and wants to do for people. Isaiah is a bundle of love. He hugs and loves constantly! He gives kisses and still at 21 months old, loves to just rest on my chest with his head on my shoulder and hug me for minutes at a time. He looks you in the eye and has the most tender of hearts. He also knows what he wants and stands firm in it. He is a very decisive little bugger sometimes.

We obviously put a lot of thought into our kids names. When it came to naming our little girl we had a couple names picked out from right around the time that we found out we were pregnant. Our understanding of the meaning of the name was that it meant "princess of the Lord" or "daughter of the King". However, after doing a ton of research, we found that it means: radiance in Russian, Shining/flower or beauty/light in Arabic, I saw one site that said it means princess in American. It's across the board. We finally decided that we needed to be ok with what ever it actually means considering that all things seem positive and go with it the way that God gave it to us.

Last May I had been reading a book called Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge which was amazing. God was showing me a side of being a woman that I had never allowed myself to embrace. I went on a long run from home down the interurban trail. It was raining and when I had run about 4 miles I noticed a name etched into the cement on a corner that I had run on for years. This was obviously very old etching and it was the first time I had seen it. The name caught my eye. I will reveal it in a minute. I continued running for another few miles and felt led to pray Psalm 23 into my and Nathan's life. As I was praying this, I saw a vision of Nate and I on a hill. It was a stormy, cloudy day with the wind barely blowing. We had conquered the hill together. Nathan was holding a long sword out with a strong stance. One hand on the sword and one arm back as though he was protecting me. Eyes fixed forward as if he was defending what had been conquered. I was beside and slightly behind him wearing a long flowing white dress. Obviously dirty and torn from battle holding a small dagger with my eyes fixed on the offending party.
The feeling I got from this picture for me was that I can be rugged and beautiful. I can battle in a dress and be graceful and beautiful and strong and a threat. That Nathan and I can and do work together and that it had to do primarily with spiritual warfare.
At this point in my run I ran another mile or two and turned around. I was praying about what I had seen and again passed the etching on the sidewalk. When I was about a mile from home I saw a homeless man up ahead on the sidewalk in an area that was a bit secluded and started feeling a little nervous. Mostly because at that point I was exhausted and he had looked up and taken an interest in me. At least enough of one to stare as I was running toward him. As I got close, he stepped back and took a very royal bow toward me as I passed. I felt like God had spoken to me at that very moment. I am his princess, I can and will defeat the enemy and He made me to be rugged and beautiful. I am a daughter of the king.

Later that night I asked my sister if she had heard of this name that I saw etched in the sidewalk and without hearing my story she responded by saying that she though it meant "princess of God" as she was going through all her knowledge of Hebrew words and trying to put it together for a meaning. Come to find out that it doesn't mean princess of the Lord.... If the first letter of the name was changed from a "Z" to an "S" then it would mean princess of the Lord. However, I felt strongly that she needed to have this name that God showed me on my amazing run that left me feeling very empowered as a woman and a mother and feeling somewhat capable of raising a daughter now that I knew what my place was in the eyes of the Lord. Nathan and I have discussed it and discussed it and decided together about a week ago that this is what she needed to be named. There was no other possibility for her and we need to trust that His intentions are met with the meaning.

So the name...

The second part is the middle name which I have loved ever since I saw it the first time. The Samoan word for Warrior. How fitting with the vision that I had at the time that I saw the name etched in the ground.

Our beautiful daughter is to be named:

Zariyah Toa Allen

A name fit for the beautiful daughter of the King that she is and will always be. We are so excited to have a little girl join our family and we are excited to see the personality that God has chosen for her. We are honored to be entrusted with her care.

It's hard to see, but this is the etching in the cement from my run. I went back several months later to take a picture.

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36 weeks and updates

2012-04-19T17:06:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken Tuesday. I was 36 weeks and 2 days. I also had my midwife appointment where I was unfortunately lectured because I am still sick. I have been sick for between 4-6 weeks so far. Coughing, sneezing, tired... Doesn't feel good with an almost full term belly. I have been ordered to go to the Dr. for antibiotics by the end of the week if it isn't better. :(

Her heartbeat was in the 140's and sounded strong! My blood pressure was good and all seems to be well. The one thing that I had as a complaint this time around was how intense the braxton hicks (BH) contractions have been. She informed me that this happens the more babies you have. Pretty crazy... I've had one BH contraction last for 5 minutes... it isn't painful, but it is intense.

My belly grew two centimeters in the last two weeks and is now measuring at 35 centimeters which is technically small, but she has already dropped so Ann said that it isn't reliable as an actually measurement at this point. I also learned that I have only gained 15 lbs during this whole pregnancy so far! That is far below what I gained with my previous two. I will thank the Paleo lifestyle for that!

Yes, I look excruciatingly tired in this picture... Mostly because it was late in the evening and I've been sick and it's been difficult sleeping lately with all the aches and pains associated with being this far along. I will say that since then, I feel much better and intend on only feeling better from here on out!

In other news, the boys are now officially in their bunk beds and absolutely love it! Nathan finished them about a week ago and we couldn't wait to get them into the room so the boys started sleeping on them a week ago today actually! We have rearranged their room a bit and we are trying to get our room arranged to fit her crib until we move her into the boys room in a few months. We finally have a car seat and we feel like we are close to ready. Still have a bit to do, but at this point if she came early, all would be well.

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35 and more

2012-04-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

Today marks 35 weeks of pregnancy and 35 days until my due date! If our little girl is anything like her brothers, she should show her pretty face within a couple days of the due date.

Things have been going well for the most part. Pregnancy is hard... I've decided though that I have it pretty easy... I think I mostly just get annoyed with the inconvenience of pregnancy. I can't sleep so I get cranky, I am hungry a lot, I have a ball attached to my belly that makes activity difficult and I can't eat certain foods. I know I have a ton to be thankful for because there are so many woman out there who have much more difficult pregnancies than I have. So I am grateful for the ease of this pregnancy and my previous two.

Nathan is still working hard on the bunks. They look great! It is going to be a nice ebony color but here is a sneak peak at the bed before staining and finishing touches.

about a month ago Nate discovered a fun app for my iPhone that allows trailer editing... He spent a few hours on this adorable video of our kids. I shared it on Facebook before so you may recognize it.

I was outside playing with the boys and put this one together in about 15 minutes... You can tell the quality difference from Nate's and mine because he actually had the patience to make it cool. Mine on the other hand still turned out fun even though it is seriously the same shot and the cast members were less than enthusiastic about the whole thing.

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The family

2012-03-12T13:30:00.003-07:00

Nathan has been working his tail off on this project! Bunk Beds for the boys! We are pretty excited about them. I will post pictures of the finished product in the coming weeks... It is still under construction.

This is a common scene in the kitchen while I'm cooking/washing dishes. They are pretty stinking entertaining! Sorry its long, they are just so cute!

This is what happens when the boys find the forward facing camera on my phone. Crazy munchkins! They sure are cute though!

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30 weeks

2012-03-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

This picture was from last week at 30 weeks. My 30 week midwife appointment was good. We are still measuring correctly and baby's heartbeat is strong. Can't believe its 10 weeks until the due date!
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26 weeks!

2012-02-07T18:06:00.000-08:00

This is my belly at 26 weeks 4 days or almost 7 months

I had my midwife appointment this evening! My belly is measuring big! She is measuring at 27.5 weeks. I had a huge growth spurt a couple weeks ago so I guess that measurement was proof that I wasn't just seeing/feeling things. :) Her heart rate was in the 140's and seems to be head down despite the kicking I feel that is low... she must just have really strong punching arms. Crazy girl! I have had a itchy rash on my belly for a few months now so we did a blood test for my liver. I will get the results within the next couple weeks. I'm sure all is well, but they just want to be sure.

Our next appointment is March 5th and then we start with every two weeks!

Beautiful

2012-01-11T10:07:00.001-08:00

Nathan texted this image to me this morning. This is a view of the sunrise from where he parks for work in the morning. I can't help but thank God for his beautiful creation. What an amazing gift.

New year and more

2012-01-07T19:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I last used this blog, but I figured that I should just start again. We have had quite a year this past year and I'm so thankful every day for my family. As for blog news, most of you already know that we are expecting our third baby, but some of you may not know that we are expecting our first GIRL!!! We are beyond excited about this (we would have been with a boy too, but still... it's a little different.) Now we get to come up with girl names and start filling our home with pink in preparation of her arrival.

In other news, the week after Christmas, Nate and I drove with my sister Keturah and her roommate Kristianna across most of the country to Kansas City Missouri. We felt strongly that God was leading us to go to a conference called "One Thing" hosted by the International House of Prayer in Kansas City. Tino & Donna graciously took the boys for a week while we went. It ended up being an amazing transforming trip for both of us. God met us there and we definitely have a renewed need to follow Him, to know Him and to fulfill our God-given calling to love and obey Him by worship, prayer and reading His word.

Tomato Basil Meatballs

2011-07-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

In early June our family decided to start following the Paleo lifestyle. We have removed grains, dairy, refined sugars, legumes and nightshades from our diet. It has been pretty amazing. I've been pretty challenged by the necessity of cooking all of our food. Granted we can still eat out if we do major modifications to our meals, but for the most part, we are eating pretty tasty home cooked meals. I have been so grateful for all the people out there who love blogging! there are so many people who live paleo and have tons of great recipes on their blogs. We have enjoyed all kinds of foods that stay within the paleo limits. Including cake, brownies, cookies, hamburgers and pizza! I've really enjoyed trying to come up with good recipe's of my own too. So here is the first one that I feel like is absolutely amazing. I feel silly putting that out there because I realize that everyone has different tastes, but I think this is pretty good.

Tomato Basil Meatballs

Makes approx 36 meatballs

3 lbs Grass-fed ground beef

1 pint cherry tomatoes diced

5 bunches of fresh basil

1/3 cup of garlic cloves

11 oz tomato paste

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

3 eggs

1/2 tbs Honey

turn your oven to 400 degrees

Lightly grease an 9 x 13 and 9 x 9 baking dish

Place eggs, garlic, tomato paste, basil leaves, salt and pepper and honey in a food processor or blender until mostly creamy, but still has a few bits of garlic and basil.

In a large bowl place the ground beef and tomatoes. Add the contents of the blender and combine using your hands or a spatula. Once combined roll into golf ball sized balls and place in the baking dish. Bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes. Enjoy!!

Isaiah Tumau is 1!!!

2011-07-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

Isaiah Tumau Allen

June 30, 2011, 3:37 am

8lbs 2oz, 20 1/4 inches long

Birth Story

Dear Isaiah,

Every day I am amazed by you, by your appearance, our blond hair, blue eyed boy! Then by personality. You are CRAZY! I love your attitude. You are always up for a laugh. Always trying to get others to laugh. You make the most amazing crazy faces... Like your famous scrunchy face which I really hope you keep forever! You are sweet and considerate. You love playing, you love people, you love to explore! I was amazed when you were six months old and were completely mesmerized by a car wheel, the way you looked at it and touched it and watched the effect of your hand make the wheel go around. You are always trying to figure out how things work. Your mind seems to be racing all the time. Now, you try to mimic the syllables we use while talking to you! Dog, duck, dad and cat all sound similar. Isaiah, you are such a gift. God provided the perfect son for your dad and I and the perfect little brother for Zeke. I love the way you look up to Zeke and want to play with him or attack him whenever he allows it. You are great at bringing him out of his shell and being a great friend to him. I love watching the bro's play together! Thank you Isaiah for the blessing that you are. I am utterly amazed by you. I can't wait to see the things you learn and the ways you develop this year. I'm so thankful that you are here. I can't imagine life without you!

Ezekiel is 3 years old!!

2011-06-26T22:08:00.001-07:00

June 26, 2008

4:21 am, 7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 inches

Happy 3rd Birthday Ezekiel Manuia Allen!

Zeke had a wonderful birthday! When we woke up in the morning Zeke opened his first present and then had some breakfast with Nate and Zai. We had a pretty good morning. Zeke helped put the favors in bags for his cousins. We did a very cute train birthday theme and it turned out amazing! The kids loved the favors and everyone seemed to have a great time. Zeke did a great job opening his presents and thanking everyone for all the great stuff they gave him. We all had a wonderful day, especially Zeke!

Kaden, Ezekiel, Danica and Isaiah dressed up like Train Engineers

Chugga chugga, choo choo!!

Dear Ezekiel,

It's hard to find words to describe how completely blessed I am everyday by you. You are such an amazing boy. So thoughtful, careful, curious, grateful, sensitive, loving, joyful... the list goes on. Zeke, you are growing into such a wonderful and amazing young boy. God loves you so much and is shaping you into an awesome person. You want to help all the time, you absolutely love your little brother and you are so good to him. I love the questions you ask, the stories you tell and your silly pretend voices. I love watching you try tirelessly to figure out how to accomplish difficult tasks and that you are willing to ask for help if you need it. I love it when you figure new things out and do your wonderful celebratory dance! Jumping up and down on your tip toes!! Your joy is contagious and your smile melts my heart. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for filling this house with smiles, laughter, joy and love. I can't wait to see the new things you try and the new things you learn this year. I know that I will be continually amazed. You are a blessing. You are strong inside and out. I love you my little warrior!

love, mom

Happy 30th Nathan!

2011-03-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

In honor of my wonderful husband Nathan's 30th birthday I thought I would share some of the many amazing things about him.

- He chose to marry me!!!! For this, I am forever grateful.

- He is an absolutely wonderful Dad and role model for our two beautiful boys.

- He loves me and supports all my crazy needs for exercise

- He hangs out with the boys so I can go out with friends and so I can train for my marathon.

- He works 40+ hours a week so that we can have food in our bellies and a roof over our heads and never ever complains.

- He believes that being a stay-at-home-mom is a full time job and respects me for what I do with the boys.

- He still looks at me like I mean the world to him.

- He gives great hugs.

- He loves what I cook for him.

- He puts up with my rambling graciously and is a great listener. =)

- He loves God and tries hard to lead our family toward Him.

- He is strong and handy.

- He is pretty stinking handsome for a 30 year old!!!

Some of his accomplishments this year (forgive me if I can't remember all of them, I was pregnant half the year after all):

- He lived through my 3rd trimester with Isaiah.

- He was the only one present during Isaiah's birth and he did an absolutely amazing job. He was calm and in control the whole time. Hands down the best birth partner anyone could have asked for. He caught Isaiah! What a MAN!!!

- He took us for a couple amazing camping trips.

- He kept his job through a huge amount of layoffs from his employer.

- He was promoted at work.

- He did the "whole30" challenge with me an made it all the way through!

- He designed and built a very handsome fence gate for our backyard.

- He (along with our brother-in-law) fixed our broken sewer pipe.

I am really so thankful for being Nathan's wife and being able to spend all my days with him. He is a wonderful gift from God. Thanks Tino & Donna for raising such a wonderful man.

I love you Nathan!

"Boat Dinner"

2011-03-10T14:35:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to change my family's eating style to primarily Paleo... I've had a hard time recently because I (and Nathan) have felt like a lot of the Paleo food I've been making is a whole lot of the same thing... so, I researched a bunch of blogs and found lots of ideas and that is where the inspiration for this "boat dinner" came from (Zeke calls it "boat dinner." Cutie).

Boat Dinner

2 Delicata Squash halved

1 TBS Coconut Oil

Salt

Pepper

Onion powder

Garlic powder

Filling:

1 lb Ground Beef

1 red bell pepper

1/2 a yellow onion

2 cloves garlic

1/2 inch of Serrano Pepper

1 small bunch of Broccolini cut into bite sized pieces

Heat oven to 415 degrees use coconut oil to cover the insides of the delicota squash and place skin side down on a baking sheet. Sprinkle seasonings on the squash to taste. Bake for 10-15 minutes or until the squash become soft. Remove from the oven.

Meanwhile, brown the ground beef and in a separate skillet saute the onions, garlic and Serrano pepper on medium heat. After about two minutes, add the peppers and broccolini.

Put a thin layer of the veggies in the squash then top with ground beef and place in the oven for 10-15 minutes. Combine the remaining beef and veggies. Once the squash are done, top with the remaining mixture and serve. Yum!

Biker

2011-03-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

Ezekiel is getting older and more bold. It's apparent by the things he is willing to do all of a sudden. All of last summer, I tried to get him to ride his bike. He was interested, but hesitant and then just didn't want anything to do with being on the seat or trying to move his legs, but as you can see, all that has changed. Zeke rode his bike from our house all the way around BHS to Assumption and back home. He only walked for about half a block and pushed his bike that whole way. My sister-in-law Jolene posted pictures of their 1 year and 10 month old son Kaden riding his push bike like a champ! These boys have very different mentalities... Kaden is a go-getter and Zeke is much more cautious so in no way do I feel like Zeke is behind... I was just inspired to give it another try on our first 50+ degree day this year. Zeke did awesome! So now, Kaden and Zeke need to get together for some bike racing and tricks!

God is good

2011-03-06T20:44:00.000-08:00

Let me say that again... God is GOOD! This year He seems to be making every effort to grab my attention and bring me back to a full and amazing relationship with Him that I have let go astray the past few years.

We recently started going to New Hope Church... Well, I guess the first service we went to was a random visit in August, but in December we decided that we wanted to call it our home church. What an amazing group of people. Every time we go, people search us out to talk to us and help us feel welcome. The congregation is small which is perfect for us. The most amazing part is that every week, it seems like the pastor wrote the sermon just for us. The subjects are always exactly what we are going through at the moment or contain answers to discussions we have been having. God knows what we need and has been faithful to provide.

God is putting several amazing women in my life to encourage me in my faith and my calling. Some of them don't know how instrumental they have been in reminding me of where I was and where I should be now in my relationship with God. I'm so thankful for all of you who listen to what God is instructing you to do and say. You and your willingness to be a vessel for God have impacted my life and I'm sure many others. God will bless you for your faithfulness.

One major lesson I'm learning right now is how important it is to pray. For those of you who know me well, you probably thought I already knew that right? Well, I guess knowing and acting are two different things. As I said earlier, I've let my relationship with God go astray for the past few years, but recently I've started challenging myself to pray more. I would like to announce that after two weeks of praying more, my relationship with my husband has improved and my desire for God has increased. I've been challenged to start praying for people too... this in the past has always made me nervous. I feel extremely vulnerable when I pray out loud and I don't like vulnerable situations. I still feel extremely nervous when I do, but I know God is with me and wants to challenge me so that I can grow.

The hard part with this new emphasis on the greatness of God is that I start noticing how not-great I am. My current thoughts are focused around how I discipline my kids, planning meals, shopping for groceries, joy (or a lack of joy), my body (weight, fitness level, etc..), and being faithful with the little things. All of the above mentioned things are areas where I feel that I have failed miserably. Which makes me feel irresponsible and unfaithful. If any of you are people who pray, you are welcome to include me in your prayers surrounding the above subjects. I am a thinker so this is where my thoughts will lay for the next few weeks while I try to figure out how to change my my outlook. I know the first thing to tackle is joy. James 1:3 says:

"Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

As they say, "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" I realize that I set the tone for the family so I need to make sure I can find joy in God without depending on my circumstances providing it for me.

Discipline is something that has been tough. You read parenting books, but remembering all the instructions during real life is hard. I need to have a sit down with Nate to decide on a method and stick to it.

My body is a tough one. I believe that keeping my body fit is an act of worship to a point. God gave us our bodies as "temples" to house Jesus in our hearts. Therefore, we need to keep our bodies in good shape to honor Him. I'm trying... I started training for a marathon, but suddenly I started getting all these injuries and the past two weeks I've been unable to train because my joints are killing me. This is extremely frustrating. I kind of feel like it's an example of how I act in general... I don't ease into things (unless it's a new group of people, but that's another issue), I tend to jump in head first instead of starting slow and making sure that I'm following God's will for my life. I'm also a pretty independent person so having something like running is a great way for me to have time for me. I feel so much better mentally when I run, but my body is not on my side.

Planning meals and grocery shopping are hard ones for me. I want so desperately to feed my family healthy foods. I primarily buy organic and try hard not to eat processed foods or many sugars, but this is a very expensive way to eat and I'm not a very organized person. I tend to get overwhelmed with the idea of grocery shopping and have a hard time sticking with meal plans which often makes food go to waste which causes even more frustration. I need to figure out a system and stick with it.

As for being faithful with the little things, I think this sums up all my problems. In the end, I feel like I'm not a very responsible person. As a wife and a stay-at-home-mom, I have automatic duties: Cook, clean, create structure for the kids, be joyful and stay healthy. I don't think I routinely do any of these things. I will for a while and then let it go. I have a long list of reasons why I can't get things done, but in the end, if I was at a job outside the home, none of those reasons would matter to a boss. I just need to do things instead of dreading it or feeling like I deserve a rest. My kids mean more to me than that and so does the sanity of my husband, myself and my kids. So now, I need to process all this and make a plan to change. Then implement the change and stick to it. I need to make it a lifestyle. I know I can do it because I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

Slacker

2011-03-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

I realize that I'm totally slacking on posts this year... I've realized sadly that I have a hard time posting without pictures and my picture taking this year is lacking severely. So here is an update on us without pictures. =)

We are doing great! Nathan and I are doing very well in our marriage! I can't believe that we are in our sixth year! God has been good to us and we are continually growing closer together, challenging each other and becoming more of a team. I love spending time with him so much and I'm thankful for all he does for our family. What a catch!

The boys are good. Ezekiel is talking up a storm and all of a sudden he's pretty social. He will actually talk to people he hasn't met before and can interact with other kids pretty well. I'd say that's pretty good for such a reserved kid! He is so sweet too! He comes up to me all the time and says "Mom, I love you so much. I just really love you." He is so amazing! I love it! He loves his little brother and is pretty protective of him. When Isaiah cries, Zeke wants to help him feel better. He shares his toys and tries to make Isaiah laugh. He is such a great kid.

Isaiah is an extrovert for sure! He talks non stop. Says Mama when he's mad puts his arms up to be held by strangers... He's super wiggly all the time! That kid never stops! His smile melts my heart and he snuggles so much! He is mobile now. He army-crawls and has started getting up on his hands and knees when he stops, but hasn't figured out how to actually crawl yet. He is learning how to use a push walker... it's cute because he walks on his tip-toes with extremely stiff knees. He's eating 1-2 meals of solid food now and has started demanding to eat what I'm eating. He sucked on my steak for a while the other day and absolutely loved it! He cried when I put it back on the plate!

I've been trying to train for a marathon, but have been having some major set backs. My knee and ankle joints started swelling up pretty bad so I took two weeks off running then started up again and now it's my hip. I'm pretty discouraged, but hoping to still be able to at least finish the marathon. I guess we'll see. As for now, I'm just thankful that spring is coming. This cold weather is effecting me too much and I can't wait to take the boys out for a bike ride and go for more frequent walks to parks. We just need to get past this 40 degree weather!

Thats all for now.

1-1-11

2011-01-01T23:28:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!

I can't believe we are already in 2011. It's amazing how fast time flies by. My baby's are growing up!!! Ezekiel is 2 and a half and Isaiah is 6 months already!

Zeke went to visit Grandpa & Grandma Allen while Nate & I had a great time with Amit & Betsy last night playing "Would You Rather" to ring in the new year. I have to say, it was way harder to stay up until midnight this year than ever before. New years day Nathan hung out with Isaiah so I could sleep in. :) Then he made me a breakfast burrito! What a guy!

We were able to talk about what our family values are and who we are as a family which was great. I'm looking forward to our new adventures this year! I'm looking forward to seeing how God works in us to help establish us as a family and help Nathan and I become more unified. I really think this year is going to be legendary!

Boyz

2011-01-01T22:24:00.000-08:00

It's catch up time again!

With all the cold weather lately, we've been practicing the art of bundling up. Isaiah is super cozy!

Isaiah is getting in some quality Dad time.

Two of my handsome men opening their first Christmas gift together.

The cutest thing ever... Little babies falling asleep all by themselves. :)

Peek-a-boo!

The last day the farmers market was open in 2010.

Aren't they cute!

This had to be documented... Isaiah can suck his toes.

It's pretty stinking cute.

One of those wonderful times when your baby actually wants to snuggle with you. Man, I love those moments!

Best Buds!

Since November, we've been busy getting ready for Christmas. We've done lots of baking... We got all of our shopping done relatively early and Ezekiel made his first Gingerbread House! He loved it!

Ezekiel has been growing and changing. He's wearing 4T shirts and pants now and is officially 2 and a half! He is talking in sentences and has a really great sense of humor. He's totally a sponge now so we have to be super aware of what we or anyone else says around him... it will be repeated. He talks constantly! He likes to practice his alphabet and numbers. He will sit down with me and ask: "Mom, what game should we play?" or he'll say to his dad when he comes home from work: "I'm so glad you're home Dad. I'm so glad you're home." When I come out of my room wearing something I haven't worn in a while or something new he says: "I love your outfit Mom! I love your outfit!" He is such a sweetheart! He's pretty much 100% potty trained... We still help him every time, but accidents are few and far between. I'm so thankful that he is a thoughtful quick learner. Zeke loves to help his brother too... sometimes. He is having some issues with jealousy and has been learning about feelings... I'm trying to help him understand that other people have feelings just like Zeke does so he needs to be sensitive to that. I think it's kind of a hard lesson, but he's catching on slowly.

Isaiah is sitting very well on his own now. He still throw's himself forward or back sometimes, but mostly he sits very well. He does not like being on his belly... Sometimes he surprises me by being ok with it, but most of the time he starts crying if he rolls onto his belly. It's pretty tough at night because he starts tossing and turning and wakes himself up by ending up on his belly. He is getting better and better dexterity. I'm always pretty impressed at how good he is at getting a hold on things. We got him a walker a while back and he's pretty much mastered it already. He loves having the freedom to move around the room as he pleases, however, with that mobility, we have to re-childproof the house because he can suddenly get into things... Isaiah has a wonderful little personality. He has bright blue eyes and loves to smile at everyone. He loves being with his mama and is good at showing love to people. He gives the sweetest hugs! I absolutely love being his mom and I love seeing how much he looks up to his big brother. It's amazing how much he loves being around Zeke and trying to keep up with him. It's going to be fun this summer when they can actually chase each other around.

Nathan and I are doing great. We are learning more and more about each other and how to run a family. Nathan is a great husband, dad, protecter, provider and friend. I'm so thankful for him everyday.

Cookies!!!

2010-12-02T12:30:00.000-08:00

I was looking around online trying to find a recipe for cookies that don't contain flour, sugar or dairy and I ran across this blog. I ended up tweaking it a bit and came up with this!

Raisin Spice Cookies

1 c. Almond Meal

1/4 tsp Cinnamon

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp baking soda

2 Tbs unsweetened Apple sauce (for a chewier cookie, use 1 tbs Apple Sauce and 1 tbs avocado.)

1 Egg

1 tsp Vanilla

1/3 c. Raisins

combine dry ingredients in a small bowl and set aside. whisk together egg, vanilla and apple sauce. mix in dry mixture and raisins.

Place tablespoon sized portions on an un-greased cookie sheet (it should make about 20 cookies) and pat down to the preferred shape (they hold whatever shape you give them at the start). Place in the oven at 350 for 8 minutes or until the edges look crispy.

They are so good! the raisins and apple sauce sweeten them just enough! I feel great feeding them to Zeke too! He also thinks they're a smash hit!

Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 c. Almond Meal

1/2 tsp Baking Soda

1 Egg

2 Tbs Unsweetened Apple Sauce

1 tsp Vanilla

1/4 c. Chocolate Chips

Combine dry ingredients in a small bowl and set aside. whisk together egg, vanilla and apple sauce. mix in dry mixture and Chocolate Chips.

Place tablespoon sized portions on an un-greased cookie sheet (it should make about 15-20 cookies) and pat down to the preferred shape (they hold whatever shape you give them at the start). Place in the oven at 350 for 8 minutes or until the edges look crispy.

I prefer the raisin ones. They taste like a breakfast muffin or something. I really like them. :)

Selfish Parenting

2010-11-17T13:45:00.000-08:00

Isaiah is 20 weeks old today or close to 5 months... He still has bright blue eyes and has such a sweet personality. He's funny, loves to laugh and smile and loves getting his mama's attention! These days when we put him on his back he starts playing with his feet. It's pretty cute. He's getting better at sitting.... he isn't nearly ready to do it on his own, but he wants to and his muscles are developing. =)

He still hasn't rolled from back to front, but I think it's because he doesn't like being on his stomach. He's very good at rolling from front to back and does lots of baby crunches. Isaiah is very vocal. He likes to compete with Zeke for noise levels and attention. I think both boys have been dealing with jealousy issues...

I've realized during the past week and a half why I haven't potty trained Zeke yet. The reason is that I can no longer change his diaper when it's convenient for me. I can't make him last just a little longer at the grocery store or take a little longer on our walks in the stroller or go for a long run. I also hate cleaning up that kind of mess so why would I want to initiate that kind of mess happening in my house for a week plus???

Well, I finally broke down and tried it. A week ago last Monday we started potty training Ezekiel and he is doing amazing! The first 3 days were a mental hell for me trying to read the signs and figure out what Zeke's own personal pee dance looked like, but now we're a pretty good team. Zeke isn't fully trained yet, but he's pretty great at going potty on the toilet. I feel sane again and now I don't have to change a 2 year old's diapers. I think that is pretty awesome. Way to go ZEKE!!
In other news, Nathan and I are participating in a 30 day diet that is supposed to help your body heal from processed foods and so much more. The reason I wanted to do the diet was because I felt like we were too focused on the carbs or grains in our diet and not focused enough on veggies and foods that were good for us. Now we have seven days left. I've lost 15 lbs and I'm pretty sure that my mental function has improved. Nathan and I actually have the energy to have a conversation after the boys are in bed. My cravings for sugary foods have decreased and I've realized that it isn't impossible to make meals every day. I think this diet has shown me that I'm more capable than I thought I was and I've made some pretty awesome foods. Now I'm nervous for Thanksgiving which is the first day off the diet. I don't want those 15 lbs to reappear in the first day! Zeke has been on the diet with us, but not so strictly... We haven't had any bread in the house for the past 23 days so yesterday Zeke came up to me with his shoes and said "We better get going to the restaurant so we can buy some bread. We better get going!!" It was so cute! So I broke down and bought a loaf of bread for Zeke. He's pretty happy. Thankfully though, on this diet, Zeke has discovered that he absolutely loves broccoli, fresh bell peppers and cucumbers. =)

Nathan and I just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary! I'm so thankful that I have such a wonderful partner in my life. God has blessed us in our marriage and with 2 amazing little boys and we couldn't be happier.