eh ?

prepare.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 14:27:00 +0000

Ok actually, I have already prepared. You know, this whole school thing. Haha. That's definitely not something a small deal. Actually, it is. Or maybe it is not. But it is okay, you know, everything is just fine. Let's be optimist. Everything is going to be fine. Of course.

Let's talk clothes. Actually this is I am going to be a prefect. Oh yes. Haha. 5 years I'm at my former school, my highest achievement was only a class monitor. And that was also because of somebody forced me to. And that was on my last year at the school. Well, it is just that last year I heard from Aisyah, my classmate, says that "it is better to be a prefect next year [this year], you know, to increase our co-curriculum points. Especially when we are not even an Exco of MPP." Note that this school has this one system called MPP, Majlis Perwakilan Pelajar [Student Representative Council]. So then, yeah, I agreed with her and I thought that be a prefect isn't something bad, tbh. So then I signed up, and sat for the interview. And thank God, I passed it.

It is not school prefect, or maybe a librarian. It is actually a prefect that responsible on the jobs and works related with ICT, and our job is specifically at the school's computer lab. So, we're going to wear purple shirt, black trousers, black shoes. Just change the colour of the shirt. Anyway, so, I ordered the shirt with the school shop but then something happened and the ordering of the male shirt caught in a pretty small hitch. So I am going to be in purple starting this February, guess so. Or maybe mid February. Tomorrow, still white shirt, maybe later on we're going to have and give some explanations about what's going on, and everything is ok. Anyway, the most important thing is - I've ironed the shirt.

The other things, bag, stoking, some other more things, ok la kot. Everything settled. Right now is like 6 more minutes to 10.30. I'm going to bed, so early tonight. So, it is estimated like, 10 months and 21 days more to STPM. heh.

Okay, wish me the best. School is going to be fun this year. Just as much as I had it for the last 10 years. Yes.

let's talk resolution

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 09:52:00 +0000

Hey. Hello. Testing. This is the first post of the year. Ok. Grand. So, let's talk resolution. New year. So, how's it going ? Let's just have this short.

Well ftr, I don't think that I'm going to have something so different, or maybe so grand. You know, let's just recycle, or maybe renew something that have been done by past years. Let's talk financial. I am so going to be 2 decades starting next year. Tell me please that I am pretty looking forward to this. Anyway, that's not the case in here. The thing is, "hey it's about financial, heads up, everybody. we are dealing with the world's first problem." So, one of this year's resolution ; financial 101 number one : save more. rich more.

That's the number one. Somehow I felt like I'm giving myself a big applause in here. Heh. Ok, second one. I guess that this resolution is like, err, have been playing around in my head since 2010, or maybe 2011, like that. Study hard, of course. It is time to work hard and.. give whatever it takes.

I guess that's all. Those 2 are the mains. I don't think I am going to be able to list all of the resolutions. You know, it is just too much, and pretty unlimited. Talk about age, well, it is the time to be braver. And to do something on my own. I will, I will.

the twenty eleven.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 13:21:00 +0000

I am now writing this post at 20:12 hours. Or, 8.12 P.M. It is like.. about.. 3 hours 48 minutes more. Hey '11, farewell. We'll remember you. You taught us of a lot of things. A lot of things. Loads of them. And I say it for real. There's nothing negative about this. It is all about making us becoming more maturer and better in everything we do. No doubt.

So, this year, I've decided to make things a bit different. Well, I am still going to summarise things. You know, put things that happened together in a post, and review all of them. If last year I didn't summarise anything due to my own over-excited of the end of SPM. Well that's such an old story, anyway. OK so, I only posted about my this year's resolution, which was on.. err, January 11. So, on 2009, I wrote about the most-talked topics around the year.

Anyway, that is so history. Haha. Pretty unfortunate that I didn't write anything on about end year, new year, on 2008. And I didn't check on 2007 lol. I'm pretty sure the result for both years are the same. This time, let's have some photos to tell the story. Ok, roll out the timeline.

the font used for months is 'BEBAS font' and the description is the non-bold 'OPTIMUS PRINCEPS font'.

Well maybe the photos are a kind of, big. But somehow, that relieves me. I prepared it for like, hours. It took me a year enough to have these photos. And so, here I am presenting it here. I placed it 3 months in a row to make it, um, not so compact while to put more photos of a month. In a row contains 3 months. Each month has 4 photos. So, yeah. That's the result. And on the next December, I guess that I'll look forward in designing the next way of summarising each year in a post. And ftr, each photo above really has given me such one-of-a-kind memory. There's nothing more unique of them. And, yes, I still have a lot more memories to be placed above. But, err, I guess I didn't snap the photos of it. And some of them I did, but it is just pretty misfit to be in it.

So, that's it. And, guys, let's be a better one in the next year. You know, better than everything. It is all going to change. Yes, it is. I've been Youtubing for some music to be embed in here, but I just dunno which one is suitable haha. Ok, so, farewell '11. You'll be missed. You're already missed.

things we made today ; remembered by tomorrow.

5 months.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 03:51:00 +0000

Ok, so this is it. My post about school. This year's school. It was a part of my plan, I know, haha. I have made up in my mind for these few weeks to.. to.. um, to 'summarise' my 2011's school days before new year. Maybe this can be included as the last posts of 2011. It's been months since I'm not blogging, so yes, I guess this is the right time for me to do it.

So.. talk about this year's school. I don't think I'd want to elaborate this so long. You know, a lot of things happened. A lot of place I've visited. And, most of all, a lot of people I have met. A lot of things too I have through and done that so related with school.

At first, starting May 9, who'd really thought that I was going to SIC at the first place. I mean, that kind of thing was, so unexpected. I didn't plan for it, anyway. I spent my time for about a month, roughly. Or, well, I only went there for maybe a few days. If we combined it altogether, then I can say that I only went there for like a week. Or maybe 7 days. Or maybe whatever.

Ok, so, my second school this year. In Kubang Kerian. The first one. You know. Somehow I felt like I'm not yet ready to give out the school's name in here [even I guess I've had done that]. Well, From 19th of July, until 17th of November. almost 4 months roughly. 2 times of exams, and a lot of things happened. Of course. Everything was pretty different but I found out that I already met a few students from the school. So, a kind of like familiar faces.

"Hey we met again but yeah that was in tuition class we attended like in 2010 and so yeah I maybe remember you and you maybe remember me so yeah, hello"

What I want to highlight in here is, this year, 12 months, like 5 months of it, I've attended 2 schools. Kinda shock for me. I dunno what others would think about it. But for me, this is a new experience, and yes, thank god for giving me this chance.

flood of '11

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 03:29:00 +0000

Talk about flood, yeah, it’s been years since I keep recording about this never-missed annual event. Maybe I was just ranting or maybe reporting about this, but this year, I did it something quiet different. Yes yes, it is the time to use photos.

For the record, this year’s flood seems to be pretty early. It has been around since the first week of the holiday. So, we have been freezing since that. And, what seems to be unique is, well, my dad said the water level seen at the house compund was the highest among of all years since this house was built. So, the highest in history. It was only a few inches left before it reaches the top of the corridor. Or else, the house would be seen as ‘stairless’.

I managed to snap some photos of it. Everything was, sunk. Deep into water. I had to get our bike to the corridor since the garage was fully-sunk. If not, then it’d cannot be ignited, or started. You know, Mechanical 101, number one : if the engine is infiltrated with water, then the whole (guess so) of the system would cannot be used anymore. Solution 101 number one : change the whole engine.

Anyway, talk about photos, I've uploaded numerous of photos that roughly explained what have I seen and what have I done at the beginning of the flood of 2011. At the left is shown an edited photo of it. So, er, if you seen a few photos of a cat, well, it is truly a cat. Anyway, that cat is adorable. Haha. Well, somehow somebody adopted it like a few days after me and my dad met it, at this one warung - the location of some of the photos snapped.

Well it wasn’t just that, I went to my kampung and see how things were. OK, just like last years. Anyway, I only managed to snap a few photos of it. Heh. It was so cold. The temperature was like, so low.

If you noticed I have mentioned about the beginning of this year's flood, well, yes it is. Even right now is, the weather looks to be a kind of 'dark' again. It has been raining sometimes-heavily-sometimes-not or the flood-style of rain. Haha ok. So, yeah.

It was awesome to lying in front of tv, 10 am in the morning, had breakfast at 8, not taking shower yet and watching movies. Seriously, that was the best moment when it comes to this rainy season. Rain FTW.

ps; some of the photos. uploaded to Picasa. Click.

some farewell letters.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:54:00 +0000

So.. well I'm talking about the "split paths". You know, people at this age, haha, ok, laugh a bit, well actually this post is supposed to be a bit of sentimental.

You know, when you're 18, everything is so different. When you're so hoping that you'll be entering 18 and everything will just have a slight difference from the previous ages, you're definitely putting yourself on a very, very tore apart of little hope.

"you might think that you're still young to do some things, but at the same time, you should be realize that you're also too old for some things."

Talk about some farewell letters, yeah, I have been reading and not so expecting it since the starter of this year. Especially after March, then May, and so on with others.

Plus with the situation of I'm in Form 6. I could see much, much more people going somewhere. Somehow I found myself pointless when I'm writing this. Ok, it took me about 15 minutes to get in this paragraph. What I really want to say is, when it is going to be my turn of giving this 'some farewell letters' to the others ? Well, I'm still hoping for one more gate away next year, and if I'm going to fail on that, then I know my fate for sure, STPM. I'll still be giving my full attention to prepare myself for this big exam from starting of next year.

With the prayers to wake up the efforts, I'm so sure that everything is going to be smoother than how I was last year. I guess that's also will be one of my resolution. It's already December, and there's nothing but to build more hope, and prepare ourselves to have more, courage, and strength to overcome whatever coming from next year.

holidays of '11

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 13:58:00 +0000

I'm not pretty sure if this is somekind of a review or not. But in the scale of 10, maybe I'll have this only until 5.. but less than 6.

Ok the bad thing about this is, it is kinda private for me to tell in here. Haha. Some things were so great. But some things were not. Maybe it is somekind of a phase, or something. Come to think of it, 2012 is so coming, guys. What can we say more.

About blogging, well, after a few of thoughts made, I guess it is by the time for me to go for quantity, instead of quality. It is about the time for me to start, or vigorously rewriting again. I hope that starting from this point, I'll just stop thinking a lot about 'sequences' or maybe some 'big bang ideas' to write. Let's just be, spontaneous, simple, like I had a few years back. And for one more time, I really hope to stop this 'hiatus' thingy for real.

Anyway, I won't put that on my 2012 resolution list. Hahaha. About these all new year's resolutions, I've always play safe. You know, I won't put anything much impossible for me to achieve. Like what have I already did for this year. Until 2010, I managed to get everything done [as far as I could remember]. But not for 2011. Which, kinda failed.

Talk about this year's holidays, well, at most of time I went to bed so freaking late. And.. today's date is Tuesday, December 27th, it is about the time for me to, start sleep early. It is time to sync back with what have I done back in 2010 and below. 2011 is the year of, wild. That's what can I say about it.

consistency

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:35:00 +0000

Hey. Yeah, I know that it has been a period of time since I've been, umm, hide ? Well tbh I'm not hiding. Somehow a few weeks ago I came up with this one phrase.

Blogging isn't about the daily posts. It is all about the consistency you played.

Somehow just now I went to some sites, wandering around at the late of night since Shaffiz just told me that he's going to bed. Is it true that a blogger could really give out some readers an inspiration ? You know, just by reading our blog, and it could give such a.. err, inspirations, thinkings, whatsoever that give bring some positives effect to the readers ?

Some people told me about how my writing could help them to improvise their English. And I'm so glad about that. Really. And also some people that have the interest in knowing of what is going on with my life. I was like, so shocking. I thought that once I left a while this blog, people will start to 'move out' and not to see this site anymore. Thanks to Ana for bringing me up about this. And also, a place to bring up some memory. Haha. Am I right, dude ? A few hours ago Fahmi, my former classmate tweeted me about this. Saying that he takes a look at the 2010 archive in this blog. And I was like, really man ? Haha. That shocked me.

So, what can I saw more ? I did have some plan on back on blogging when it comes to school holidays. I did. I did. I mean, I really did. Which, the plan is like, 50 failed, 50 no. So.. I really want to back on blog. Again. Like what have I done before. Months before.

Come to think of it, when something I dislike just happened to me, it is just blurred up every single sense in me to blog. I will think to blog about it. Brag about it. Just, have it written in here. Of course, generally, I don't want that to happen. You know, when the whole world knows about the crisis that happen in you. That is just, not cool. Not cool, man. No, it is not.

So, I guess that you just can imagine of how I could still 'stand up' and blogging, from 2007, until a few days before 2012. It is not about daily posts I've made. It is about the consistency. Haha. Yeah. Ohh yeah.

it's been a new year

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 15:35:00 +0000

Okay so 1432H is now so history. Say hello and warmly greet the new year of 1433H.

I'm not sure so much about the year of Hijrah, since about almost of the things in our daily routine we use the year of Masihi. I'm not pretty sure of 'Masihi' in English.

So, let's reminiscing. I still remember like so many years ago, back then when I was in primary school, my teacher taught us in Fardhu-Ain class of this event. The Hijrah event. She sang us a song related to Hijrah event. And then we sang it too [I guess so]. It was cheerful back then. But then she told us that Hijrah is all about the "movement" or the "migration" of Nabi Muhammad S.A.W and some other more Muslims from Mekah to Madinah. Which is it was all about the order from Allah to do so. The reasons are to save themselves from the dangers and threats from the non-believers in Mekah and to spread Islam at Madinah.

Well that event ignited a lot of things about the expansions and the increase of numbers of Muslims. And also the birth of the first-civilized country - Madinah.

So, that is something about 1433 years ago. But now, we also have to 'Hijrah'. You know, mentally, in general. From bad, to good. Or maybe from good to better. To a better person. Leave the negatives behind, and start over with something so positive.

p/s, ; somehow I remembered what my Form 3 English teacher told me and the whole class, "be good, good-er, good-est person - whether in academic, or personal life". LOL much. But that is a fact, anyway. Good point. Kudos!

app: one week.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 12:01:00 +0000

Okay so what's my plan for this one week ? Frankly, 6 days. I've made my schedule. But somehow these 2-3 days got loads of tasks and homework need to be done. So yeah I still don't have enough of time to have these study things settled.

Actually this exam can be divided into 2 terms. First term is going to start this 18th until 20th. Pengajian Am both papers and one paper of Bahasa Melayu. About 10 days later, the exam continue. Until 3rd of November. So, for this upcoming 18th, I'll put more attention on Pengajian Am 1. Loads of things need to be revised. And I've asked the teacher until which chapter will be asked in the exam and he said he dunno because the other teacher is in charge for this exam. Plus he's also a bit busy with invigilating PMR exams. So, Bahasa Melayu paper is, Bahasa Melayu 1. Also a lot of things need to be revised. I guess I have more guts with Bahasa Melayu than Pengajian Am, since I don't know much about PA. I mean, like so real. A few things popped and.. I seemed to can't so concentrate with PA. Instead of BM 1, haha.

Then on the next term, the rest subjects. The schedule is on my desk and I don't think I'll reach it for now, until 8 p.m hahaha. I just want to say is, well, at least I already have a plan. And, it needs a bit of 'job' to make the plan work. I still remember this one quote,

I plan my work and I work my plan.

You see, I planned my work and/but I still haven't work my plan, which is a bit of contrary. Heh. Today I've photocopied some questions of Microeconomy. It seems that I'm more comfortable with Microeconomy rather than Macroeconomy. Both paper got essays and ABC and subjective questions. Haaaaah. It's Economy and we have to deal with essays, too. So so not right, kan kan. Haha. I won't tell that to the teachers, anyway. Talk about Geography, both papers, err, kinda, well, I'm still not so sure about, both of them. My marks on the both papers of the last exam was, okay. Compare with my classmates, my marks was not so high and not so low. I'm not at the top and even at the bottom. Neutral. Middle. Yea, middle. Kinda. And.. talk about History. It's like, alamaaak. My mark was like so so low. Like, lower than 20. Like, so serious. The syllabus is like so big. Haha, like real. So wide. The only thing that I can say is, almost all the time before this I only relied on the things that I've studied back then when I was in Form 4 and 5. Thank God I still remember some of them. Oh.

Hm. Eh, checking the calendar.. and.. talk about 3rd of November, which is like err, 3 weeks and 2 days left. Or frankly 1 day. Haha. Talk about exams, it is all about the end of it. And talk about the end of exam, it is all about the results. Haha. It's not so contrary like ~~whatever I'm so scare~~.

process of reuniting.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 12:02:00 +0000

Haha I'm not talking about so magical-and-powerful drama series. Or even Power Rangers. Okay. I'm talking about meeting again. Meet again. After months of splits. So now, we're heading back for a day of meeting. A great meeting.

Currently still discussing about this on Facebook. Well, fb is the only way to discuss about this, since everybody has an fb account. Unless for 1. Talk about Aisyah, it has been months since we're not connecting. I don't think that she even own an fb account. We do asked about her in the group, but I guess that almost every of us don't even hear a thing from her. Best suggestion about where she's now : pursuing Form 6 at the same school.

Okay so. Err. Our plan is on this November. It were actually Mariam and Amanina that suggested about this. So, they planned to held this event on this November. And thanks to Amalina for offering her place as the venue of this reunion. Her place is just about my area, which I am very support of holding this event at her place. Haha. I've told them that I'm not going if this reunion is held at a very, very far place. Or maybe somewhat not reachable by me.

The month and the venue are all on. Except for the exact date. Then we could proceed to discuss about the payment and whatsoever related. To discuss, another problem popped. There's not enough of people to talk. I mean, we do online. But, not every of us. Maybe because of exam, or maybe because of no connections. Guess that I'm going to suggest of sending them a text later on. Heh. That's going to cost some bucks but, what can we do. We have to get a green light from the whole classmate before we're saying, "okay, we're on, this Nov."

It is not just about the discuss, but also the clash of the holidays. I guess the majority of us pursued our study in Form 6, which I don't think that would be much problem for us. But, how about those in universities and colleges. University, I can say that all of them are in UiTM. So, same days of holidays. But I'm not so sure about the colleges that under the management of UiTM. I hope they're just the same. And how about those in private colleges. Geeez. I'm pretty sure that it is something a whole lot trouble in reuniting us back.

I guess right now is.. exam ? Haadzal text me 2 nights ago saying that he's now off from exam and currently in about a month of holiday before continuing the second semester this mid November. He's in UiTM. And I'm kinda sure about those that studies at the related institutions like Hafiz in Unifield. But kinda not sure about those in KPM, and I heard that one of us is now studying in KLIUC or KLMU. Unsure. And, how about those in Kolej Komuniti, Politeknik, and KPTM. Haiiih.

Status, still dunno. Some of us still talking about this. And still trying to get connect. Today is 10th of October.

revise

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 12:32:00 +0000

I guess it is about the time now for me to start, revising. Exam is just about, a few days from now. Well, starting this 18th. At first on 12th, but then postponed to 18th. Well, thank god, since I could use the remaining time after October 5th to study until the 18th.

So, what's to be revised ? Err, revise[d]. It has been a while since I'm not having this "revising" thingy. Almost a year, yeah. So, I can say that, starting this week, or maybe tonight, I should have start forcing myself to revise. Come to think of it, there will this "changing class" system, made from this exam. Which means, students with high performance will be placed on the first class, starting next year.

Well, come to think of it, again and again, it is not so bad though to be placed on the second class. The first thing about it is, be cool. Of course. We can say, "heyya just stay relax lah there's nothing to be worried about, cause we're at the second". If we're at the first, "let's work much so that our class will be stay the first all the time,". So have no time to enjoy. Study isn't just about study, but also to enjoy every bit of moment when we're studying. But, try to take a look at a much better side, we will have a greater chance to perform better, since we're at the second, so that, there will be a feeling inside us to work harder, and take over the people in front of us.

But, it is not so cool to say, "hey my plan after this end year exam is to get down to the second class". Instead of, "let's work harder and maintain our place for the upcoming year."

Err, tbh, I'm still not, so, studying right now. Physically okay, mentally is, kinda not okay. I'm still looking at the best side to study. I'm still forcing myself to be in front of the book and finish all the tasks give by the teachers. Deep in my heart, and also every of my classmate, we do still want to be placed at the first class in the upcoming year, but it is only the matter of time, and our own effort in 'protecting' our place. And we do realise of the competency shown by the second class, and also, even the teachers talk about this : the second class looks like to be better than the first.

So, what can or should I do now ? Study, of course. It's time to do it.

the touch

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 11:27:00 +0000

You know, talk about the things that we're always craving for. And for me, this "thing" is just enough to satisfy, well for right now, at least.

I'm not talking about iPhone. Err, okay, I already have one, I mean, a phone, which is now, I guess, I don't need another right now. This is, let me introduce, just in case it looks almost identically, it is iPod touch.

My first impression when I saw this gadget, about a year ago on the paper, I was like, "even if I have a sum of money which enough to buy this gadget, I don't think I will. yea, come to think of it, it should be an iPod, right ? should it be, so-iPhone ?" I was like, blarrhh. Then a few days later, when I read again the article, I was like, "it is not so bad to own one too, anyway." And these few weeks, "alah, just put it inside the wish list." and now, "blog it ah, if there's a chance, I'd like to have it, someday."

After a few weeks of surveying and checking up about these gadget thingy, well, you know, just in case if, err, I will have a tiny chance to get it. When you're looking and staring at the same thing for a multiple of times, then your mind knows something even better than yourself could ever realise it : you want to get it. So, err, yeah. I guess I'd want this gadget. Maybe now, or maybe next time. Maybe later on. But really, I want it.

So what's the point of writing this. Umm. The thing is, I already have an MP3 Player, it is Sony. My aunt gave me on the last April. But, alaaa, it is not wrong for me to want this one, right. Technically you can say that I'm one of the victim of the technology, but why would I really care since, if you want to say so but I guess it's okay because I do think that I'm a victim now. Haha.

Actually I've made a survey just now. Between iPad, iMac, iPod and a few days before I've take a look at Sony Ericsson's Live with Walkman. First, the iPad. iPad is just too big. iMac is just too costly, I mean, like real. Talk about iPod, haha, Nano seems okay, Classic seems, okay, but Touch is like, so so good, to be seen, of course [and to have]. Live with Walkman, well it is a phone. An Android phone. I have a Sony phone too, it is not android, it is just an 'ordinary' phone, and I'm happy with it, so that is why I'm not surveying iPhone.

I won't tell my dad about this. I'm quite, pretty, and very sure that he'll say, "it is not worth to buy". So, just keep it in mind and, keep it for myself. Haha. Like I will have a sum of money, like 1.5 grand and go to the shop and buy one. Even on birthday : just dream on. It is something so not possible. Plus right now we're in a short of budget, so I guess it is too much for me to ask something so "tiny" and "worthless to own" in this condition. Even when we're not in this condition.

So.. I guess that, it is quite healing and soothing for me to look at the screenshots, photos, specs and whatever related. Haha. Plus with these days of frustration.

respecting a decision

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:23:00 +0000

Talk about my SPA interview, and also this UiTM application, I still remember about these 2 breaking questions.

"why did you just decide these things without the advices of the people that known better of this field ?"
"so you can't stand anymore in Form 6 ? what is so wrong with you ? you don't even want to pursue your study to the higher level ? so now you're running away ?"

Actually, there were so much thing that I'd like to give feedback about that. I was technically mad at that time when I was asked by such questions. If could, these are my answers:

I'm not running away from it. I chose to be in Form 6. And it is something included in my plan. It is true that maybe sometimes I can't stand to be in Form 6. The subjects, Economy, is so challenging. I hate maths. And yeah I do. Whatever. But it is just Economy, deal it like Add Maths. Everything is going to be fine. But talk about the things that I want ever since I was in primary school. It is something hard to let go, damn easily.

Yea, maybe I was dumb for making such decision by my own. But that is how I define what I want to be in the next 4-5 years. I defined it as, "something that I want ever since I was a kid", It is true that I still dunno about what's about to happen later on, if I choose this path, but that's life. I mean, that's life. Just choose a road, and you'll be amazed by what's coming. We can't always stand on the high pace. Maybe I'm going to suffer on the next 4-5 years, because of the decision I've made. The dumb decision. geez.

And and, and, unsymmetrically, that is also a thing that has a chance, to be, when I choose that path that you were talking about. So please, what I want to say is, don't just straightly "abolished" what have I planned. I'm maybe can't be like what everybody wanted me to be, but at least I want to be somebody like what I wanted myself to be. Just, respect my decision.

You know, symbolically, maybe this is the situation of when a doctor wants to be a painter.

And yeah, now, I decided to choose this way. Maybe, in life, it is not just about something to only satisfy our own self, instead of anybody else around us. Right ? In this case, I just want my move to be respected. Haih.

I know that it is hard for me to say, to tell everybody about what am I feeling right now. Maybe I don't need someone to understand me. But at least, I also don't want someone to make things worst. I know I'm still young, literally I'm not a kid anymore, and yeah I just can't think rationally like an adult.

decided.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 12:15:00 +0000

Actually, I didn't even, plan, to, have it done by today. Just after a few things happened, a few conversation occurred, and I guess that, before it is too late, it is much better to just, "cut it off" by now.

So, about the university application, microbiology thingy, actually, yea, sorry guys, it is chosen that I'll just pursue my Form 6. It is a hard decision to make, and such a very thing to accept. I do love microbiology, I mean, like, I do have such a big interest in learning Biology. I've been dreaming so much to take the science stream when I'm in Form 4. And thank God, I managed to get my PMR result, enough to be in science stream. Even not pure science, but still, have that Biology subject. I didn't even thought much about Chemistry. And I do know the risk of Additional Maths. But for the sake of Biology, I guess that, Chemistry and Additional Maths were just, "alah, just another small deal".. and, I also tried my best to keep my head held high with English for Science and Technology, EST. Talk about EST, I still remember when my sis told me briefly about the subject, when she was in Form 4. And at that time, I was in Standard 6. Somehow, I felt that, taking that subject is like, just another big mission for me.

And yeah, somehow today I made the decision to continue my Form 6 study, which is, totally so not related with Science, especially, Biology. Haihh. Maybe this is the problem that kept playing in my head for these few months. I really wish that, after this thing is finally decided, I can let my head to be "superficial" with some more "big" problems, and focus on what am I should do now.

I had some polls, I even asked myself at the same time. I asked my family about it. My dad was neutral. My mum was, at first, she gave the green light, then after she had a little conversation with my bro, then she told me that she's giving me red light. And somehow, without my own knowledge, I didn't even know that my aunt was the same as well. I thought that she was giving the green light too. And somehow I was wrong. So wrong. If those 2 people were disagree with what am I planned, then it is better for me to just retreat and do nothing. There's nothing even more important than the blessed given by them, yeah. And I really wish that I will forget about this so much easy.

Talk about my next step, just continue my Form 6. Let it be settled till STPM, next year. Maybe I'm not so into this thing, but at least, I am blessed by the 2 people that I respect much in my life. Much more than anybody else.

talk about, issues.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:32:00 +0000

In here, I mean, personal issues. I am a person that, not a very good person, in, a, talking about my own problem. And the one thing that I am a bit of, happy, about the low traffic to this blog is, I can write again about my problem. At least not.. "commercializing" them.

If you think that you're the only human that packed with problem, then you better think again."
At least, that is the way I think when I have one. I'm pretty sure that there are some more people that had a far more worst problem that I'm in. So, just be grateful that, you're not that person. I do know that we won't know who's that person, or maybe there's a meter to calculate how far our problem is, but, you know, just, be positive.

Talk about my habit. Well, keeping them to myself is like, just, the best way to settle them. Like, keeping, reviewing and think about how to solve them. For years, I treated and assumed some people as my best friend, but I still like, "ow, I better just keep this as my problem. My problem, it is mine." So, that kind of thought, really taught and teach me, to deal with my issues by my own self. Even to my own sis or bro, and even my own parents.

For me, if you keep your head held high and eventually you're 'announcing' that,"I have a problem. A personal one." that means, maybe you still dunno how to deal with that by yourself, or you might be really inside a big problem. And inside you, you're crying for help. Especially when you feel like there's nobody that could understand you. Well, for me, I'm still not on that stage.

So what's the point of writing this post ?

Guess that there's no exact point. Maybe this is the thing that I'd like to say at this moment. Like what I've never thought, really, I have never thought that being in 2011, is like, so crucial. Choices, yeahh, choices. I have to make choices. The situation isn't like, "choose. if wrong, you're dead. if okay, you're fine." Ummm.

october

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:03:00 +0000

I wake up at 5.45 a.m. After a little more naps, I got myself to the bathroom. Brushed my teeth, had my shower. Then I had my Subuh prayer. Just an hour after I woke up, everything is just, so different.

So today is October 6. Yesterday was October 5. You can say that it was a, bad day. I had my interview. My third interview on this year, or, the third interview of my lifetime. It was SPA interview. Even I know that I had a few disagreement regarding this interview, saying that this SPA chance won't give me any further "bright future" whatsoever related thing that really a bit of bugged me, but I still made up my mind to just go. I was like, so pensive. When I was mentally and physically ready for the interview, it was like, so wrong wake-up call [for me]. And, fyi, I'm so going to fail the interview. I was failed to answer the formula Index Body Mass. So I can say that, everything was just, screwed up. A few hours before the interview, my mind of was like already flailing, and I was asked such question [which I was so-not-taking-any-attention to the formula, even when I was in Form 5]. So I'm going to be failed, yay for me, right. Whatever.

So, today is the sixth of October. The death of Steve Jobs. Rest in peace. I just knew it when I was on my way home from school. Anyway, today I had a 1.20 ringgit-cup-of coffee. Kinda shock, that it was only costed me 50 cents. But it's okay, sometimes we have to buy ourselves something expensive, right. I take that as a "gift of myself, for myself". Kinda like a, token. Maybe. Guess what, by doing this, you'll deeply thank yourself, thus you're going to grow as a happy human, and will create such a beautiful life. Haha. I had this "system" worked for a few years, and for me, it is something fun.

Then I had my walk to school. Crossed the road. Walk a bit. A walk in every morning, sometimes there's nothing more fresh than it. What can I say, it is like another pensive walk. Pensive. Pensive. And somehow I reached the school. Heh. I'm not trying to be cynical, anyway, it's like, a fact. A part of my thought was still disturbed. And even now.

I went up straight to class, knowing that somebody would be already in the class, plus the time was almost 7.05. So, Afiqah was in there. And her first question was, "dude what's up with yesterday's interview?" I was like, "everything was okay, instead of this one IBM question that really failed me up." In my mind, "Nothing to be worried, I don't think that I'm going to leave this school any sooner." Then Fariza popped in, asked the same question. Then about 8, when everybody was inside the class, after the brief assembly, almost every of my classmate asked me the same question. They were like, "alah it's okay lah, later on you can try again. nothing to be worried about."

I did even mention about them to the interviewers, since they asked me about friends. I told them that they were one of the most supportive people in this world, to succeed this interview.

So the lesson today was so, no problem. Everything was fine. We were given such a very long task to be done. Dateline : 1 week. History 1. Thought that I'm going to settle it this evening, but somehow I felt that, sleep is the best thing to be done on Thursday's evening.

Err, tomorrow is.. October 7. 7. Friday. Weekend. Somehow after a few months, I feel like, it is not a bad thing anymore to meet Sunday.

september 14

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 12:07:00 +0000

Okay. I do realise that, I have no more suitable title to be posted. Or to be written. Or to be chose. Ala, just put the date. Back in 2009, again, I guess, where I just put the exact time, instead of the date.

Hari Raya is over. I mean like totally over. Please stop lagu raya on the radio. Sometimes it is better to just stop it for about 11 more months. But, for some occasions, it would be okay. But not for the radio, anymore. My sis went back to UM. Last Sunday. So it is only my parents and I at home. Back to 3. Like how we used to be, back in May.

So, how's life now ?
It's okay. Fine. Just a bit of busyness. I still go to school. Running on with schedule and dateline. Still not deciding of continuing Form 6 or just go through with Diploma. I'm still, not deciding it. I still have about, well, a month, like that, before deciding it. It is back to normal now. A school boy. Wandering at a new school. That is the new thing.

Friends. Staying at a new atmosphere. Somehow really such a very challenging moment. Being surrounded by new faces. Everybody is great. I guess it is just me to keep a distance for some times. Maybe that is a normal thing for a new person, to be in such situation. Maybe we're looking for some spaces. But somehow, we will found ourself inside the conversations - without we even knowing it.

I can say that I'm still stuck at the same old problem. Not very old. And for the meantime, I'm still not brave enough to think about it. And, I don't think that I'm ready enough to speak about it with anybody. It is just my own little personal problem. And it is so myself to keep my problems away from anybody else, and keep the positive face to everybody.

So, how's my life, and I guess, this is of how I am now.

#kenanganpuasa

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Thu, 25 Aug 2011 08:22:00 +0000

On Twitter, about early Ramadhan, this #kenanganpuasa hashtag was the local Trending Topic. Well, but I was like a bit of not joining it because it would be so much for me to say about it. So, I thought that when I have a free time [and a bunch of mood, of course] I would like to blog about it.

Okay. So, haha. I guess it's just too much. So much. I still remember when my late grandma came to our house to have buka puasa with us. The scenery was like so havoc. I guess it was like, maybe 14 or 15 years back. Where, it was about 15 more minutes to buka puasa and I was like so young and know nothing about this. My mum served the beverage. Then somehow I took a sip of it. Then she asked me whether it has about the time [to buka puasa], then I said, yes. Then she drank it too. Then of course, we had it together. Then my mum came and asked. Hahaa. I was like so dunno about it.

Okay. I don't think I do still remember so much about #kenanganpuasa of 10++ back. So so far. So so old. But, what can I say is, it is something so memorable. You know, good times, when we want to think about it so much, then it would be so blur. But when we're in the midst of the busyness, then it would be so clear to think. Where we will able to see whatever feelings, the good moments with our friends, pals.. whether it was about to iftar, having morning meal or even during those 2 big moments.

I still remember last year where I was chilling at the back of my class with my friends. That is the brightest memory that I could ever remember. One year has been passed, and somehow I could remember it clearly. Especially when I'm seeing my new friends. Where everything changed. Where I had some laughters with my friends, or even being scolded by the teachers. I guess everything is just the same, wherever and whenever we are. Friends are still the same. I guess these 1-2 years are all so much about friends. Chilling with them is the best moment that we can ever have. And for this Ramadhan, that memory comes to my mind.

For this year, I guess that's the best #kenanganpuasa that I have ever had. For this year, or maybe not for this year. But it is still something remarkable.

memories are like a force which we can't ever forced. but it will force us to be forced to remember it. even it's all about the force, that we could never know that we're being forced to.

for once again.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:43:00 +0000

I am.. kinda.. a bit not okay.

Just now when I was about to start studying for tomorrow's papers.. I was like a bit of, thought of something. And now, after what I've made, I'm blogging at the late of night. And it's raining outside. My sis and mum already on their bed. TV is still on. Dad went out with his pals, going to another pal's place. Got some business to be done.

Hey. I guess that I didn't mention about this on the blog. On the early of July, I made this one application regarding of pursuing my study. It is UiTM. Second intake. November intake. Semester 2/2011. My first choice is, Diploma in Microbiology. Biology is my fave. For real. And tonight, I got it. Like.. so.. happy. For real. I mean, for real. I'm so happy. I got the course that I wanted. The subject that I guess something that is my.. fave.

But. So then, I will just say farewell to my plan in TeSL. That's the real case. I mean, like a real case.

I'm maybe only have a week to think about this. To confirm. If I'm confirmed to go, then I'm going there in this mid November. So.

I chose Microbiology because.. this is my childhood ambition. An ambition of a child. And I chose to sit for STPM and going for TeSL, this is my newly ambition. Maybe I'm not so good with kids, but, somehow.. it is also an ambition. I can't just say, "oww, i'm going here." "oh noz, thiz iz my latest choize." That's just doesn't make any sense.

For real. I have to admit this. This is far bigger than what have I been through on the last May. I really like computer. But I chose to grab a chance as a teacher. And I do adore to be a microbiologist. But do I still choose to be a teacher ? Being a science teacher isn't bad as well. But how about English ? If I go for English, then how about Biology [or specifically Microbiology].

Whatevs. Night.

second round.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 14:22:00 +0000

Or.. the half time.

Today was like, kinda havoc [like always] in the hall. Well. I'm a new student. Maybe that's the main reason why.

The first paper : History 2. Paper 2. Essay. I mean, 2 essays. Like, so so long. Haha. For real. I guess it is like a, a bit of revolution for me to write such essays in less than 1 hour and a half. 8 paragraphs for an essay. Or.. 16 paragraphs both. Well, even myself also couldn't believe it. It is History.

Outside the hall, the students were discussing about what's going to come out. What's going to happen on the hall just in a bit of time. This is our first exam. First as a Form 6 students, and the first after almost 8 months time.

Second paper : Geography 1. 4 questions were asked and we were instructed to answer 2. Almost the same with History 2. Guess what, I can say that I'm going to be so [completely] failed in this paper. I didn't learn much about Geography. And, the questions asked were all about the syllabus that learned just before I enter the school. I was like, "omg, it's like what have been thought". No surprise. So, I did my best. I was just, answer the whole questions. Haha. For real.

I still remember this one article that I read. A bit extract from it,

"if you read a lot, hear a lot, learn a lot, you will know how to say things in a good way. even you don't even know a single detail about it. and that's how most of the good debaters live."

I was thought, so, it is not wrong for me to try. Even I'm not a bookworm, a good listener or even an avid learner, but.. well.. let's just, do it. This time, who would really care about the facts, anyway. Haha. Just create your own fact, and write the answers like you know everything. That would be so much confident.

Third paper : History 1. We thought that we will be instructed to answer 2 essays. In an hour time. It is estimated that normally a normal student only able to answer a good essay in like, 45 minutes time. And 2 essays in an hour ? No. Haha. We would not. I mean, like, it is something so "unreachable". Well, thank God, 1 essay only. From 12 till 1 P.M.

I can say that, I didn't encounter so much of trouble in answering this paper. You know, sometimes it is better to just take everything easy. I didn't had my revision so good. I only had a few hours on yesterday and a few minutes when I was at the school. I have the books, notes, so I just used them as much as I could. Thank God, with what have I been revised, and what have I learned since Form 4, I managed to have them answered. It is not guaranteed if I had them all correctly. But at least, that is my effort.

So, tomorrow is the third day. Paper. First paper Bahasa Melayu 1. Second, Macroeconomy. And third, Bahasa Melayu 2. I've revised Macroeconomy when I was waiting for my parents at the school. Since I moved to this school, I felt like so so, lazy to bike to school. So, since we left home in the morning at the same time, and we come home at almost the same time, so I guess, it is not so much big deal for us to go and back home together. Alah, car poll, save the nature. Let's go green.

p/s, ; this site is now re-layouted. the wider, the better. so next time i don't need to resize the photo to upload in here. hehh.

diagnostic test.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 11:07:00 +0000

School. School is something wondrous, isn't it ? With the friends, teachers, lessons, whatsoever, until la it is related with exams and tests, it is something even more wondrous. Isn't it ?

Okay. Frankly. I'm on exam. Or, test. Whatevs. Just the same. We have to read books to answer on the sheets happily. Hehh. So. Today is the first day. And this Wednesday is the last day. 4 days. Who would ever thought STPM is only for 4 days ? Like, real ?

This is our first test. Only an hour and half. Usually it is 3 hours. For some papers only 1 hour. So. This is it.

Bahasa Melayu, Pengajian Am, History, Geography, Economy. And MUET.

MUET is on the last day. 1 paper, out of 4. Today was.. Pengajian AM and Economy. Both papers of Pengajian Am and first paper of Economy. Called, Microeconomy. It is not about the easier part of Economy. It is just another part of Economy. Level of hardness - same. Hahaha.

So tomorrow, both papers of History and second paper of Geography. Hard revisions need to be done. 3 papers. And, all of them are considered as heavy subjects. Haha, real lah. Come to think of it, today's paper, Microeconomy, really could make us, the students, felt so so so, so.. err sad. Like, so sad. Most of us was unable to answer the whole questions. I managed to answer all of them. But it really saddens me after I checked my papers with my friends. I got loads [or even tonnes] of wrong answers.

That's the dark part of checking out the answers right after the exam. Uhh.

Anyway. 3 more days to go. And on Thursday, it is stated and decided that I'm going to have a one-day holiday. Hihi. Next week is one-week holiday. And about 2 weeks more, we'll have the results.

How I wish the days are going faster. And slower at the max, starting this Wednesday.

1432's Ramadhan.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 10:54:00 +0000

Guess I'm a bit late. Haha for real. Maybe a bit late, but, err, late.

So today is the 21st day of Ramadhan. 2 phases have been passed. So now we're at the third or the final phase of Ramadhan : the freedom from the hell's fire.

So, last night was raining and my dad woke my sis and I so early. Early in the morning. Like, 4.11 A.M. He said that he guess that last night is Lailatul Qadar, so he woke us so that we could perform Solat Hajat and whatever things that related. But today looked like a sunny day which, maybe his guess was wrong. But it's okay. We still have a few more nights to look up for.

Talk about berbuka. Hehh. Berbuka puasa. The moment that is loved by everybody. This year, sis at home. She'll be back in KL in a few weeks time. Like, 2 weeks after raya, her class will start again. So, talk about iftar, this year, so far, 21 days, we only had our iftar at home. On weekdays we bought some foods at the stalls. We didn't go to bazaar since it would be so much of people. So.. yea. I just love at the weekends where we cook, at home, together. Haha. Really. So much of fun.

And, sahur. Or the morning meal. Come to think of it, it is really.. something.. new for me this year. I guess last year is the red line. The end line for me to have rice. Starting this year, I only have a cup or 2 of coffee. I guess I have the problem of indigestion. I still remember when I feel so contented. I mean, like, my stomach, felt like so elated, so full. Until iftar. So uncomfortable. So this year, at least it doesn't give me any feeling of, full.

So what can I say about this year's Ramadhan ? It is, fast. That's of course. It is something we didn't even realize when we're on it. But at the end of an interval of time, we will sense it. It's like so real. The time is getting faster.

p/s, ; Ramadhan is so leaving us soon. according to the calendar, Aidilfitri is only one week and 2 days away from us.

one question : are we ready. to be left ?

the dateline.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 15:36:00 +0000

You can say that this is like a, second part of the previous post.

So, yeah, dang, it is school. Again and again. School and school. So what's the most 'enlighten' about school, anyway. It is the dateline, of course. Geez. Okay, I'll try to be not so sarcastic. Whatever.

It had been such a problem for me to follow rules - especially when it comes to time management. So far, I still manage to get myself follow the rules. The time, of course. I jotted down all the works that should be done from 'this' date that should be submitted by 'this' date. And yeah, thank God, I managed to get them in track. So what is the thing that really gets me this time.. is the notes. It has been years since I'm not having these such notes. I mean, for real. Starting Form 3, the teacher as if to stop giving us the works or jobs to write some notes. Until la Form 5. Well, I wasn't stopped.. I mean, completely stopped, but almost entirely. And now, I have to get my hands restarted again.

Whatevs, this time I'm not writing just to complain. It is, when I was writing, I felt like I should blog about this. And yeah I'm having it now. Eh, actually, I'm now blogging. I mean, like, err, for real. This time, by the time I'm writing this post, 11.31 P.M, is the time when I was planned to do a work but then I felt like so, lazy. I managed to get like 70% - 80% done just by the evening. From 4 P.M++ straight till almost 7. Something that I've never done before. Well that's not the only job that I have to settle in these 2 days. Uhh.

You know, chasing the dateline is like running towards the yellow line in front of us, which is not with the other people, instead of the time. Seconds and minutes are the power ups. And the clocks are the competitors.

Okay, maybe that's too much. Come to think of it, this is not the way I'm blogging, back to months ago. If you read my previous posts, then you'll notify this. I can say that I'm currently writing without too much of ideas. Just ranting about chanting about what's going on.

Just, err, next week I have to submit all of these jobs. Tomorrow, after sahur, I'll have that until 100%. And start for another task.

familiar faces.

noreply@blogger.com (hazari.) — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 09:05:00 +0000

Just writing up this post, after 2 weeks I start studying at the new school. And today is, July 31st. And insyaAllah, tomorrow is the first day of Ramadhan.

Okay. So. Why do I say, "familiar faces" ? I went to the school, I mean, for the registration, nothing so much happened. It was just, a bit of shock. Well, just like when the registration day at SIC. This one school is really such a, familiar face. But, it's not just the school, but the atmospheres, the students, teachers, and I can say like it is, umm, 50-50 la.

The atmospheres. It reminds of my old school. The kids. The students. The girls which I finally can see. Haha. Like, really. It has been a while since I'm not seeing such groups of girls until I left my old school on the last November. So, yeah. And the students. Boys, girls. So, so student. Less nerds, I guess. I finished my registration like, almost noon. I have to wait for the.. err.. I guess he is the discipline teacher at the school. After a bit of interviews, like this, like that. I can say that the rules in here is the most strictest rule I have ever been through. For comparison, in here, we have to wear black shoes, black socks, long-sleeved t-shirt. Not just that, the school also has daily early morning assembly before we head to the class. It is just, err, a bit earlier than what I have been 'trained'.

The assembly is held on the field. It shocked me that the school has such field. From the front gate, we only could see a quarter, or smaller portion of it, of the school. It's big. And has such numerous class. Maybe like 7-8 classes in a form. Different from Form 6, which only got 8 classes. Upper and lower 6. Well, for the record, they didn't call us "Upper 6" or "Lower 6" in here. Haha. Kinda not-so-always-being-heard if I say this is the name of my class : PUB 1. Err, so where's the 6 ? No. Nonono. PUB. It stands of, "Pre University Bawah" or mainly in Malay is, "Pra Universiti Bawah". Haaa. I'm in the first class. So got number "1" at the back. Talk about the upper 6, it is PUA. Now you got it ?

They even have their own specialised block for the pre university students. We own the block. That's how it is in the simplest word. 3-storey building. Lowest floor for DK or "Dewan Kuliah" and staff room. DK is the merged room of the 3 classrooms. The second until the fourth class of Lower 6 students. Which means, my class is at the top. Along with the first until the last class of Upper 6 students.

Okay, that's the non-familiar faces. Talk about familiar faces. I met several guys from the tuition centre that I went last year. And also a few guys from my former school. Come to think of it, Farkhan is one of them. Anyway, he's at the second class for the reason, "The first class is located up high on the building." You got what he means by that.

So. I guess that is what it means by "familiar faces". So, it has been 2 weeks since I'm staying at the school. It were such a busy day. Busy weeks. Hectic in the bizarreness. It is something real. So real. Duh.