Overheard in Philly

Extinction of the Guido

2012-01-30T07:04:00.001-05:00

Two twenty-something guys at Standard TapFirst guy: "What do you think of Tina?"Second guy: "Fat ass small car."First guy: "Dammit now there's no way i can fuck her."Standard TapOverheard by Michael G

When Only The Best Will Do

2012-01-27T06:04:00.000-05:00

Lady #1: "Aww, what you doin' here?"Lady #2: "I'm on a date!"South Philly WalmartOverheard by MTSBspidey

Compassionate Gunplay

2012-01-25T07:04:00.000-05:00

Young woman on her phone talking to a friend: "If you're big I'm not gonna fight you, I will go to my room, get my gun and I will kindly shoot you"Anne Taylor Loft, Liberty PlazaOverheard by mimi

Wall-e Was A Future Documentary

2012-01-23T06:04:00.001-05:00

A group of folks sitting at a table at the coffee shop.Woman: "I'm trying to get my husband to use a French Press."Man: "Oh, those are a lot of work. I can see why he wouldn't. It's a lot easier just to go to the place + buy a cup of coffee."OCF Cafe on South StreetOverheard by Andrew on the bus (still not on the bus)

I Hear The Words Coming Out Of Your Mouth....

2012-01-19T07:02:00.001-05:00

Lady At My Job (She is exiting the stall, I'm brushing my teeth): "I could never brush my teeth in this bathroom, it feels to unclean, you know what I'm saying?"Ladies Restroom @ WorkOverheard by MP

5-10 Years Is Too Often

2012-01-17T07:13:00.001-05:00

Woman working at coffee shop (sure, call her a barista if you must): "Sure I could totally move to New York. I'm not the kind of person who goes home and hangs out with old friends."Second woman, incredulously: "Really?"First woman: "No, that's what high school reunions are for."OCF Cafe on South StreetOverheard by Andrew on the bus (not on the bus, obviously)

Was That Some Kind Of Pickup Line?

2012-01-11T06:56:00.001-05:00

Two twenty something couples walking thru Macy's in Center City (aka Wannamaker's). Dude one: "You know I think this building has the largest organ in North America" I answer to them: "I thought the largest organ in North America belonged to Ron Jeremy" Awkward laughter ensues.Macy's in Center CityOverheard by Michael G

Philadelphians Are So Helpful

2012-01-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

Woman yelling on cell phone: "I'M AT 8TH & MARKET, YEAH 8TH & MARKET, YUP!"Man unknown to woman standing nearby subtly interjects: "9th & Market"Woman on back phone: "YEAH, 9th & MARKET!"NW Corner of 9th & Market StsOverheard by jt

Darwin Award Runner Up?

2012-01-05T06:53:00.000-05:00

Co-Worker #1 is eating Cashews and coughing, almost like they are choking, and is very red in the face.Co-Worker #2: "Wow...are you okay?"Co-Worker #1: "Yeah I'm fine. I'm just allergic to nuts."My Cube FarmOverheard by WD40

Fucking Short Bus Kids Get All The Cheese

2011-12-28T07:02:00.001-05:00

Guy to bartender: "lemme get the casadilla. And some cheese on dat."Bartender: "what u think you're special?"Guy: "I AM special. I had to take the bus here and wear a helmet. The whole bit."Bills Olde TavernOverheard by Scottie Onetime

Brad Pitt's Martial Arts Expert Common-Law-Wife

2011-12-26T07:10:00.001-05:00

Two guys talking about recent movies:Guy: "I liked dat other one too wid Johnny Depp and Ang Jo-lee-a"Bills Olde TavernOverheard by Scottie Onetime

Lesser Known Rosa Parks's Demand

2011-12-23T07:05:00.000-05:00

5-year-old white boy to mom:" I want to sit next to the window! Why does he get to sit next to the window?" [points to an old man] "Is it because he's black?"Paoli/Thorndale LineOverheard by Anna

When I'm Sixty-Four

2011-12-21T19:04:00.001-05:00

Sixty-ish couple at the supermarket:Hubby: "Here's what we came for" (pulling something off of the shelf).Wifey: "No, that's not it. We want this." (puts back what hubs took, takes different item.)Hubby: "So sorry, Uncle Albert."Mayfair Shop RiteOverheard by PaulMcCartneyLives

Whatever Works.

2011-12-19T07:03:00.001-05:00

Mother to her 2 teeenage children: "You better fucking behave or it's going to be a Kmart Christmas"The children suddenly went silent.The shops at Liberty PlaceOverheard by Michael G

Gotta get Your Fix Somehow

2011-12-16T07:05:00.000-05:00

Guy picking cigarette butts off the ground: ‎"Don't worry, people, this is just what drug addicts do when they run out of money."Frankford TerminalOverheard by Phoebe

Nope, Just Male.

2011-12-14T07:04:00.000-05:00

20 something guy to a girl adjusting her top: "What are you doing pushing them both together to make one good one?"20 something girl: "You're an asshole"Outside Rotten Ralph's in Old CityOverheard by Michael G

Homeless People Have All The Good Lines

2011-12-12T07:04:00.002-05:00

Homeless man asking for money: "Give me a dollar so I can join the 1%"Broad and LocustOverheard by Michael G

Two Balls Enter A Bar...

2011-12-09T07:03:00.003-05:00

guy 1 - "And then the penis walked through the door and slammed into the wall!"guy 2 - *shocked look on face*15th street between lombard and southOverheard by jigi

Truth: It's What's For Dinner

2011-12-07T07:03:00.000-05:00

Teen girl 1: "People always want me to stop talking because I talk too much, haha!"Teen girl 2: "No, people want you to stop talking because the things you say are stupid..."South StreetOverheard by Claire

They Went All Oscar The Grouch On Her Ass

2011-12-05T07:04:00.000-05:00

Two guys on the street:Guy 1: "Stay in the trash can."Guy 2: "I don't want to stay in the trash can."Guy 1: "If you want to have fun, stay in the trash can."Guy 2: "I don't want to stay in the trash can."Guy 2: "It's perfectly safe - stay in the trash can."NoLibsOverheard by the anti-littering ads seem to be working

They'll Never Have Paris

2011-12-02T07:04:00.000-05:00

Two young women talking before the start a play."I've heard France is very hoity toity. I want to go but I'd be heartbroken if I went there and I wasn't good enough."Rittenhouse SquareOverheard by Scoats

Bar Of Soap Is His Kryptonite

2011-11-30T07:04:00.000-05:00

Crazy homeless man: "I fight like Superman" (punches the air with both fists)"See, I don't need no weapons!"Corner of 10th & MarketOverheard by Mad Mike

Team Taco

2011-11-28T07:04:00.000-05:00

Trendy Odd Future fan: "I mean, he a snitch... But he smart, dog."Chestnut & 16thOverheard by vapidcunt

Jazz Hands FTW

2011-11-25T07:02:00.000-05:00

Two 20 yr olds running towards the bus stop.One starts falling back & the one in front says: "I didn't take that dance class for nothin!"16th & walnutOverheard by pbenjamin

Sodium Misogynist

2011-11-23T07:03:00.000-05:00

guy: "lemme get a couple pretzels."cashier: "do you want salt on them?"guy: "yeah i want salt...."*screams to friend at a table*"DO YOU WANT SALT ON YOUR PRETZEL? OR ARE YOU A GIRL?!"hall of fame in the phillies stadiumOverheard by tracy