Overheard in Philly

Give The Lady A Seat!

2013-03-06T05:30:00.000-05:00

Standing female passenger on crowded bus to grumblers: "Paying your fare guarantees you a RIDE on the bus, it does not guarantee you a SEAT on the bus." #33 SEPTA busOverheard by Mad Mike

Frogs Here, Frogs There. Frogs Were Jumping Everywhere.

2013-03-04T06:00:00.000-05:00

Co-Worker #1: "I'm decorating my cube for Easter. What about you?" Co-Worker #2: "Um, he's Jewish. They don't celebrate Easter." Co-Worker #3: "She's right, I am and we don't but I can still decorate for Passover". Co-Worker #2: "How do you decorate for Passover? Do they even make Passover decorations?" Co-Worker #3: "I don't know, I was just going to paint some lambs blood on my cube." My

Mama Was So Proud

2013-03-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

"Junior" singing the "Alphabet Song": "H, I, J, K, Lemon Yellow Pee." Market-Frankford ElOverheard by Plaster Dog

He'll Be Here All Week Folks!

2013-02-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

40ish female Comcast Customer: "I am glad you here my cable is out & I really miss the news" Comcast employee: "We all miss the News Ma'am, but Huey Lewis needs time to create." Queen's VillageOverheard by Joe Camel

Good for you?

2013-02-11T06:09:00.000-05:00

Black man to another: "...and I told him I ain't no stupid nigga. I studied economics - in high school." 18th & WalnutOverheard by Mad Mike

Nancy Is Rolling Over In Her Grave...Wait, She's Not Dead?

2013-02-06T05:30:00.000-05:00

Contractor #1: "Can you believe they changed all the lyrics to the song?" Contractor #2: "Wait, they changed all the lyrics? What the hell?!" Contractor #1: "I know, right? Now I can't sing it when it comes on the radio!" My Cube FarmWD-40

YouTube Is Your Friend

2013-02-04T07:00:00.000-05:00

Woman on trolley: "...Then she punched him in the face?!! I wish I'd been there to see THAT!!!..." #34 trolley Overheard by lost-in-philly

Do It Anyway. We'll All Be Better Off.

2013-02-01T04:00:00.000-05:00

Guy on trolley: "...If he was MY brother, I'D cut MYSELF!..." #34 Trolley Overheard by lost-in-philly

Everyone Needs A Little Assistance Sometimes

2013-01-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Window Guy [leaning out window]: "Hey man, what you up to this weekend?" Guy2: "I dunno man, not much." Window Guy: "Well, I guess I'll just leave you my SMALL pry-bar." Off the corner of 49th & Baltimore Overheard by lost-in-philly

Bringing Out The Best In Us All

2013-01-28T07:30:00.000-05:00

Man in a hurry, on his phone: "...Baby, I don't want you to think I'm leaving town because I'm running from the law, I'm leaving town before I do something that's gonna get me arrested, like kill someone. Philly makes you wanna do that sometimes..." Corner of Arch & 20thOverheard by lost-in-philly

Well, Maybe For You....

2013-01-25T07:30:00.000-05:00

Two doctors at Starbucks: "Surgery can wait, but coffee can't!" Starbucks at 8th and WalnutOverheard by lost-in-philly

Your Next Angie's List Review

2013-01-23T07:30:00.000-05:00

Contractor #1: "Yeah so I told him I'm not an Electrician and I don't work weekends but I know how to put an outlet in so I'll do it for $500." Contractor #2: "And he was okay with that?" Contractor #1: "Hell yes he was. I ended up making $800 that day. $500 for the outlet and $300 for some other odds and ends he wanted done around the place." Contractor #2: "You are a whore! A filthy, stinkin

Seems Like A No Win Situation

2013-01-21T07:30:00.000-05:00

Angry woman on phone: "What?! What was that?! If you can't come and say that to my face, then you have just signed your own death warrant!" 4900 Block of Baltimore AveOverheard by lost-in-philly

Grad School Is The New 13th Grade...

2013-01-07T06:00:00.000-05:00

Bookseller: "Sorry, nobody in the area has that book. We can order it for you if you like." Grad student 1: "No...I have a 5 page paper due on it by Monday." Bookseller: "You may want to check if any of the library branches has it." Grad student 1: "Hey, that's a great idea. There's a library right down the street from me." Grad student 2: "Dude, that's not a library...that's a bar" Barnes

Smart Thinking

2012-12-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

Two guys get into conversation on the bus about work, wives, girlfriends and life. Guy #1: "Put your number in my cell phone. I need new friends. All of my old ones are dead or in jail." Guy #2: "Well, if those are your stats, man, I'm not sure I want to be one of your NEW friends..." Septa bus from King of Prussia Mall Overheard by Tina C.

The Gays Don't Use Puns

2012-12-26T07:30:00.000-05:00

Gay guy to friend wearing mismatched clothes: "I see you are wearing a safe today." Friend: "Huh?" Gay guy: "Only you know the combination to that outfit." 10th & Chestnut Overheard by Mad Mike

Here's Hoping For A Second Chance

2012-12-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

(talking about upcoming honeymoon) Guy1: "so where are you two going?" Guy2: "Jamaica" Guy1: "Have you been there before?" Guy2: "Once. But it was with my dad so it wasn't as romantic as I thought it would be." workOverheard by Scottie Onetime

That Was Going So Well...

2012-12-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

Costumer: "Why do you love Philly?" Me: "The thing I love about Philly is that there's hidden beauty everywhere. Most places they throw it in your face and hide the ugly side. But in Philly you have to find it yourself and that's why people appreciate it more. I grew up in a bad neighborhood so I had to search for the beauty here and it made me love the city when I found it." Costumer: "You

Once You Go Black....

2012-12-12T06:56:00.000-05:00

Girl to Guy: "Hey I like video games too. I've played Call of Warfare Black Duty before!" Sticky WicketOverheard by Scottie Onetime

Go Eagles! Fire Andy Reid!

2012-12-10T07:54:00.000-05:00

Raining hard outside 1st Guy: "Hey, Andy Reid is outside and asked if he could borrow your umbrella." 2nd Guy: "No!" Post Office at 9th & MarketOverheard by Mad Mike

Confusing For Fat Men...

2012-12-07T05:46:00.000-05:00

(looking at the mens and womens bathroom signs) Guy 1: "Boars.. and Bulls. Boars and Bulls? That's weird." Guy 2: "What? It says BOOBS and BALLS. And I'm the one with glasses..." Kung Fu NecktieOverheard by Scottie Onetime

He's A Keeper?

2012-12-05T05:51:00.000-05:00

Guy: "If you really want that for Christmas, I'm going to have to get a Sugar Momma to pay for it." Girl: "Oh? So does that mean I get to have a Sugar Daddy?" Guy: "No, I'll be your Sugar Daddy and my Sugar Momma will be your Sugar Grandma." The GalleryOverheard by WD40

College Graduate?

2012-12-03T06:43:00.000-05:00

Guy 1: "So we can take the train to Penn Station then the Bowery is about 3 miles from there. We should get a cab tho cuz it'd probably take us like 45 min to walk there." Guy 2: "45 minutes?? dude you could walk a mile in like 15 minutes." Guy 1: "and three miles..." Guy 2: (pauses) "oh duh." Kung Fu NecktieOverheard by Scottie Onetime

Such Skills A Such A Young Age

2012-11-30T06:40:00.000-05:00

Little girl, about 7 years old walking down the street with her mom: "I once burped and farted at the same time" Old KensingtonOverheard by maphilly

Probably?

2012-11-28T07:35:00.001-05:00

Voter: "Did it count?" Local polling place Overheard by s