of Health and Heartache

Hoping for Pregnancy

2014-01-10T18:59:00.000-08:00

We're still trying for our first bundle of joy.

As each month goes by the roller coaster of emotions becomes more and more familiar...the excitement over the potential, the agonizing waiting period, and the disappointing let down. Then the doubts and questions creep in. Is there something wrong? Are we somehow not compatible? Should we get tested? If adoption is something that we are open to, at what point should we begin the process? Should we use modern technology in helping us conceive?

We have no answers as of yet. I am trying not to become anxious over the matter. There are many stories of childless couples and many stories of happy families. Our story is still unfolding.

Reflections on Attitude

2013-05-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

This past week was...an interesting first in our new marriage. My husband and I both went through periods of grumpiness/irritability and just having an overall bad attitude. Luckily our bouts of sourness did not coincide with each other. First I took my turn, then he, and I had to finish it out with another round.

Now, my husband is pretty wonderful as he rarely gets very cranky. Usually I am the one growling and glaring at the world. So it was an experience to be on the receiving end of someone's foul mood... most definitely not a pleasant time. In the context of marriage these issues need to be dealt with quite differently I'm finding. You can't exactly leave and just avoid the entire issue. It needs to be addressed to keep the tension from escalating. By the end of the week we had apologised and worked through the problems.

Reflecting on the entire affair has brought home to me again that one's attitude is a matter of choice. It is up to us to choose our demeanor and how we react to life's little irritating occurrences. For my poor husband's sake I shall endeavour to not immediately default to negative reaction.

Your Vagina is not a Storage Unit

2013-05-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Just a quick holler out to all you ladies. Please, please, be careful about what you put in your vagina. I have heard many horrors stories about women who basically use their cooch almost like a purse. Change, paper money wrapped in plastic, drugs, rings, and the like have been put up there for "safe-keeping." This is not what the orifice is intended for.

Items that I have come across in my career thus far are on a somewhat tamer level. For the most part I have seen women come in because they have forgotten to remove a tampon or part of it somehow was left behind. Several days have passed and they start to notice an itching or burning. A strange odour may start to emanate from them. Let me tell you, once we've gone into the dark cavern to fish the offending remnants out, the smell in the room is usually close to unbearable. So out of concern for your health and my nose, please be very cautious about putting things into your vagina.

Experimentation

2013-05-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

I've found that it's so very easy to slip into a routine during our times of sexual intercourse. Too often we just resort back to the same old tried and true methods. Now I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with the missionary position. But every now and again a bit of variety should be thrown in....some spice to your sex life, because who doesn't eventually get tired of blandness.

Kiss, caress each other, have him get on top...and we're done. Try to get out of your comfort zone. I know for us ladies it might be harder. Personally I'm wary of attempting new positions for fear that they may cause pain. However, how will you know if you don't try.

I will be making a conscious effort over the next few months to try a new position every several weeks. Hopefully some of you ladies will join me in this venture. I'm sure there will be few complaints from our husbands.

Body Image

2013-05-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

Remember ladies, your husband may be insecure about his body too. He might be self-conscious about that pudge that he is developing around his middle, his height or lack there of, bald spots, the size of his member, hair in unwanted locations, etc.

Try giving him a random compliment today and see how he reacts. Just the other day my husband swept me off of my feet...literally. He picked me up, tossed me over his shoulder, and headed for the bedroom. Surprised, I blurted out, "Honey you're so strong." Well that certainly gave him a boost. He seemed to be quite pleased by the compliment and started to preen and flex his muscles.

You may not be a fan of certain aspects of your spouse's body. However what good will it do to tear your partner's confidence to shreds? Build each other up. Appreciate the good, the things that you love. Finally, if there is a health issue that needs to be addressed, do so with all kindness. Don't criticise.

Absent Husband

2012-11-21T13:08:00.000-08:00

My husband is gone. Again. It has been incredibly hard for us. His work regularly takes him away from me for weeks at a time. In our first few months of marriage when all you want to do is constantly be around each other, we've had to learn to cope with the separation.

A nurse friend of mine recently told me that it was all that her and her husband could manage as newlyweds when they had to be apart for a single night. ...whenever she had to work a twelve hour night shift.

I think for the most part we have dealt with these long periods of separation. However, for myself, I still am having difficulties upon his return. "What???" You ask, "How does that make sense?"

Well, after my dear husband has been away for several weeks, he arrives home raring to go. Immediately, as soon as we walk in the front door, he wants to head into the bedroom.

I suppose I should be counting my blessings that I have a husband who wants me so very much. But my difficulty lies in this: I feel used...that I am just a pit-stop for a sexual fuel up before he goes out on the road again. I understand that for men sex is one of the ways in which they connect with their wives emotionally. But for me, my emotions are not quite there. I operate on a slower track. I need time to get used to my husband when he returns before we head off to the bedroom.

We've discussed this issue with each other. I've explained my feelings. For him leaving his job is not an option, and so we have not yet been able to come up with a solution. Any thoughts? In the meantime whenever we have intercourse upon his return I feel like crying.

Dying with Drama

2012-11-21T00:14:00.000-08:00

She was a tiny slip of a woman in her seventies. At four foot something she weighed just about 80 lbs. A heavy smoker for most of her life she spent her days attached to the oxygen machine. She fell from her bed during my shift fracturing her hip. Surgery was not recommended. The decision was made to change her level of intervention. No heroic measures were to be taken.

The ensuing weeks were painful. I found them to be incredibly frustrating. The nurses refused to stay on top of her pain management. There was no regular dosing of pain meds. They would wait until she was nearly frantic and inconsolable before administering anything. Then finally giving just an ativan.

I was working nights at the time. At the start of each shift I would immediately have to give pain meds so that she would be able to sleep. Still able to communicate, we would often have brief conversations before I would tuck her in for the night.

Then came the fateful night. I could immediately tell that she was in decline though she was still responsive. A check of the vitals confirmed my fears. P 140, BP 175/114, oxygen saturation of 64%, resps 38. This was the occurrence of another underlying cause. It was not the slipping away that was expected for the end of her life.

A call to the Dr. was quickly made. Send her immediately to the hospital. Though the hospital was just a short hallway away, we were an attached facility, it was required that we still call an ambulance. The paramedics showed up a short 10 minutes later. In this time, she had changed. No longer responsive, her pupils huge, and agonal respirations. The decision was made not to transport her. Quickly, quickly, the family was informed. Her daughter came in tears. Minutes later her spirit left her body. I gave the family time before knocking gently. The daughter, in denial, kept asking "Are you sure she's gone?" "Yes" was my response accompanied with a hug.

She was gone, but she had made her departure memorable.

Appreciate your Husband

2012-11-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

Once again I put my fingers to the keyboard. How long will this resurrection last? Ah, that is completely unknown. Who knows when my interest and enthusiasm will wane. The only reason for this comeback is that I am avoiding some other task which I detest. This is my outlet of procrastination.

I initially thought I could memorize some Bible passage to distract me. Song of Solomon was my choice. As a newlywed I thought it might provide me with some direction and inspiration. In this modern day it is expected that the men shower their women with compliments. However, in the Song, the Shulamite offers up very clear appreciation for her husband's body. See chapter 5: 10-16. My beloved is white and ruddy, Chief among ten thousand....His body is carved ivory...His mouth is most sweet, Yes, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved...

Ladies remember to voice desire for your husband. Too often we forget to share our appreciation of him. Choose a physical feature or character trait that stands out to you and compliment him. Let him know that he is the number one man in your life and that you wouldn't have it any other way.

What to Say?

2012-10-10T14:21:00.000-07:00

I recently had a young woman come into my care. She was thirteen weeks pregnant. As part of my initial assessment I asked "Is this your first child?" She nodded in agreement and I continued on through the rest of my task.

For some reason this short exchange remained on my mind...perhaps because the previous day I had a patient who had just undergone a D & C. Was my question politically correct? Likely not. People have differing opinions as to life in the womb. Would it be better to ask, "Is this your first fetus?" Probably, if you want political correctness. But to my ears it simply sounds cold.

What do women want to hear? Does it depend on cirmcumstances? If the tissue in the womb is wanted or not?

Pain in hiding

2012-02-22T16:46:00.000-08:00

Questioning an elderly demented female patient who had a recent fall....

"Do you have any pain?"

"Yes, I do."

"Can you describe to me where the pain is located?"

Following a short pause "....it's around the corner."

Lazy charting

2012-01-16T19:19:00.000-08:00

No I'm sorry. Using the word "gross" in your charting of a patient's wound is simply not acceptable. Even if it is a quote from another nurse. And especially not if it's a quote taken from casual conversation. Here is an idea....why don't you go look at the wound yourself. Then you can actually chart something worthwhile on it.

Random thoughts

2012-01-11T17:09:00.000-08:00

No, your demanding yells of "nurse, nurse" will not endear you to me. In fact, I will be more likely to avoid you altogether.

I conclude that people perceive age differently after being called a little girl by one of my patients. However, should I be flattered?

Yes doctor, if the patient is sedated to the point that they are not responsive to verbal stimuli during your visit, the risperidone dose should be reduced.

Things might be too busy....
I had an anxious man waiting out in the hallway. "Is it ok that I stand here, I'm not in your way am I?" he asked. "That's fine, you can stand or sit there for as long as you'd like" I reassured him. One of my other patients, an elderly female, piped up and said "or you can drop dead there."

Time heals?

2011-12-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

I was asking my female patient if she enjoyed her Christmas celebrations when she started to tear up.

"I don't like this time of year" she said, "the last time my father spoke to me was on Christmas and then he died two days later."

"I'm sorry to here that, how many years has it been since his passing?" (I asked this thinking that the death had been recent because of her emotional reaction)

"Oh... in '52"

Flirting

2011-12-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

In the elevator at work I overheard an eighty something year old gentleman in a wheelchair tell a ninety-six year old lady: "You have a beautiful face." So cute.

When life gives you lemons....

2011-12-24T17:03:00.000-08:00

...use them. Several years ago I heard a lecture by a geriatric psychiatrist on non-pharmacological methods of calming elderly patients. She stated that the scent of lemon had been found to have an effect in soothing the distresses of the older population. Her recommendation was to regularly spray the lemon-scent as a type of air freshener to keep those in the vicinity mellow. Though I never acted on this advice, it has held a place in my mind. Recently I have begun to drink the juice of a squeezed lemon mixed with warm water and a bit of honey each evening before bed. The results have been incredible. Never before have I been so relaxed and stress-free in the evening. High in vitamin C, this drink is popular for those with sore throats, but consider it for its alternative use. Now, I'm off to find a lemon-scented air freshener because who actually likes to de-escalate angry/aggressive patients.

Learning How to Die

2011-12-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna miss you.
I'm gonna miss you when you're gone.

She says, "I love you, I'm gonna miss you in your songs."

And I said, "Please don't talk about the end, don't talk about how every living thing goes away."

She said, "Friend....all along I thought I was learning how to take, how to bend not how to break, how to live not how to cry. Really, I've been learning how to die, been learning how to die."

Hey everyone...I got nowhere to go.
The grave is lazy, he takes our body slow

I've been learning how to die.

Learning how to Die by Jon Foreman

A Christmas Passing

2011-12-21T15:17:00.000-08:00

She was dying. At fifty-five lung cancer invaded her life. Unbeknownst to her the insidious growth had metastasised throughout her body. Though the doctors were kind, their eloquent words did not disguise the harsh reality of her situation. Nothing more can be done to save you. She left the metropolis and returned to her home, a small town of fifteen hundred souls, where we recived her into our care. It was just days before Christmas. A steady stream of visitors frequented her room in the ensuing days. Friends, and what little family she had, came to pay their last respects as the time slipped by. The nurses did not have much regard for her life partner. His visits were sporadic and very brief during which his treatment of our patient was less than kind. He seemed too wrapped up in himself. His own life and suffering consumed him and he did not offer any comfort to the one he had committed his life to. Her decline was steady and all could see that the end was close at hand. Christmas day dawned as a cold, dark winter day. The hours ticked by and no one came to sit with our young patient. Had they forgotten her? Given up? Were they too focused on their celebrations of the holiday to offer comfort to one in turmoil? The nurses checked in on the patient often to prevent the pain from becoming unbearable. She suffered from brain mets and was at times confused. We were not entirely sure that she had constant awareness of what was to occur. Finally, all alone in the greyness of the afternoon, she slipped away. Is this what Christmas is? Do we so insulate ourselves from the dark part of life, the suffering and death of others, and focus on the light, joy, and happiness for ourselves? Are we so selfish that we cannot allow any interruption to our happy holidays? I certainly hope not. To me, Christmas is about loving others...a love that can be so painful at times.

No more Florida?

2011-12-21T00:05:00.000-08:00

At work today I was assisting this sweet elderly lady who has dementia. Attempting to engage her in conversation I mentioned that Christmas was in just a few days. She didn't have much of a reaction to this news. To help orientate her I said "it's Dec.20th today and you would never believe it looking outside, it's such a gorgeous sunny day." And it was. Though somewhat on the colder side, the day was brilliantly lit by the rays of a nearly winter sun. I continued, "I can't imagine having Christmas when it's so sunny outside" (usually weather is quite miserable around here for the holidays). My patient still gave no indication that she was following the conversation. "Mind you," I said, "it's usually sunny in Florida and they seem to manage Christmas just fine." My patient finally roused herself to speak and quite definitively said, "Florida? Florida is disappearing." .....okkkayy then. I won't argue.

Hello World!

2011-12-20T22:45:00.000-08:00

...and so I begin to write, though for what purpose I do not entirely know. Perhaps a desire to undertake a new project and change the world, or it could be that boredom simply propels me. My hope is that through this new adventure I might broaden horizons (both yours and mine). I have always wanted to compose grandiose scripts with my words but until now have never made any significant effort. Wherever my bumbling attempt takes me, I hope to be better for having tried.