Heather's High Points

Only a Fool...

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:53:00 +0000

I was reading this morning in a book recommended by a friend, The Power of a Praying Wife. It is a really good book, kind of like a devotional that teaches a woman how to go to God in prayer with requests about her relationship instead of trying to "fix" things herself. It teaches quiet submission, but not doormat cowardliness - if that makes any sense.

Anyway, reading the book every morning has been something I look forward to. The author's quick wit and down to earth answers are very relational, and you immediately feel a kindredness with her. BUT, there is a disclaimer in the beginning of the book...it basically says that while reading through its pages, you will most likely be convicted - yep that's right...you, the wife. And, it's true.

It's like sitting in a really good sermon, and saying, "I really hope so-and-so is here tonight to hear this." And then you get smoked by the Holy Spirit who says something to the tune of, "I hope you are taking notes for yourself. If not we are going to have to have another intervention, and it won't be the kind where you get to sit and listen to someone talk."

Yeah, that is what happened this morning, except without the dialogue. I am reading chapter 11, so I am kind of used to asking for forgiveness before I even get to the point of praying for my husband. The section that caught me was this one:

We have to remember that all men think they are doing the right thing. "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes..." (Proverbs 21:2). But God is the only one who can give true discernment.

It goes on to say...

The bible describes a fool as someone who only "trusts in his own heart" (Proverbs 29:26). He despises wisdom (Proverbs 23:9). He always wants to talk and never wants to listen (Proverbs 18:2). In other words, you can't tell him anything.

OK, so it's not like I run around yelling I hate wisdom. I don't verbally say that I trust in my own heart or that I am always right. But, if I take an honest look at my actions, at my body language, my motives in conversation...they are usually designed so that I come out on top - so that I am right and you are wrong. And if we expand that to all of humanity, like the bible does in Proverbs 21:2, you can pretty much extrapolate that everyone naturally thinks that they are right, and everyone else is wrong. (Only a wise person looks outside of himself for guidance - he asks God for discernment.)

Hmmmm...I bet the devil loves that one. The poor humans can't control their tongues AND they always think they are right. This should be easy. Let's go pick a fight. You know what? I will probably just happen on its own, and we can sit back and watch.

The good news is, that with the help of the Holy Spirit we can recognize our foolishness. We can ask for forgiveness from God. And with the help of Jesus we can repent. The whole Trinity is ready to take action.

The book goes on to say:

[God] can give us wisdom when we ask for it. Wisdom brings success (Ecclesiastes 10:10), and it enables us to learn from experience (Proverbs 15:31)...The bible says, "The Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding" (Proverbs 9:10).

So, we can start by praying that we will have the fear of the Lord, and that we will keep godly council. We can pray that the Holy Spirit will show us when we are trusting in our own hearts, and when we are leaning on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).

The next time I am in a conversation, I am going to hear the other person. Not just see my vision, not just force my opinion, or push for my way. Just listen, ask for discernment, pray for wisdom, and submit, knowing that in His sovereignty all things will work to the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

I hope you have an incredible day, and walk in wisdom!

The Double Yield

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 03:59:00 +0000

The message of grace has been a hot topic around here for the past few days. Actually, Mark and I continue to encounter this theme regularly in our everyday lives.

Grace is such a deeply complex idea for something that is so simple to access. All you have to do is accept God.

There is even a song that tries to explain how amazing grace really is, but falls short on so many levels.

By grace we are saved...
His grace is sufficient...

These are familiar phrases, but can we ever fully understand grace?

I think that salvation is just the beginning of grace. As Papa Jack said it is the "tip of the iceberg." It is the first point of contact between God and man. It is the first admission that we cannot save ourselves. It is the first step on a journey of yielding.

I looked up the word "yield" yesterday. I think it is very interesting that there are two common definitions. 1. To surrender. 2. To produce.

If we yield to God, by accepting His grace - the idea that we can't do anything alone, that we need Him for everything, that we need to surrender our selfish ambitions in favor of His will in our lives - then He will yield a mighty work in us and through us. He will produce a harvest.

God will cause great things to happen if we only listen and obey...like all little children should.

"For I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."
Matthew 18:3 NLT

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 19:51:00 +0000

Mark and I have been traveling in the States for 2 weeks now. We have been refreshed by the church services we have attended, honored to have shared what God is doing in Honduras with church congregations and college and university students, and blessed to spend valuable time with our families and friends.

I don't know if you have ever experienced the feeling where you are doing exactly what you always wanted to do, and more. That is how I feel right now. I have always wanted to travel across the US, visiting people and seeing the greatness of the country-side, and now Mark and I have the opportunity to do that. Before we head back to Honduras we will have traveled through 7 states - but not only that, we will have spent time with people we love and cultivated relationships that we cherish. God is so good.

My constant prayer has been that God wold go before us and come behind us. That He would protect us as we travel, but also that He would set our schedule. It is amazing, as a planner, to watch our schedule unfold before us - or really change before us. When we started out on this adventure we had a plan (a tentitive plan) to travel stoping to see old firends, and hopefully meet some new ones along the way. I am just so amazed how God has taken the shell we had on paper and transformed those dates into divine appointments. How He has taken meetings and turned them into times of worship. God does so much more than we can imagine - when we just hold things with an open hand, allowing Him room to work.

We have almost four more weeks of traveling. Of course we are a little bit tired, but we know that God will sustain us. He has promised to go before us, He has promised to guide us, and we have promised to go with Him.

So to every smiling face we see - thank you. To ever neck we get to hug - thank you. For every 5 minute chat in the foyer and every hand we shake - thank you. Please know that we value you so very much. Please know that we love you and we covet your prayers. There is never enough time for us to see everyone we would like to - but I belive that is what heaven is for - we will have an eternity to catch up, an eternity to swap stories, and an eternity to laugh together.

Seek Wisdom, Develop Good Judgment

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Sat, 24 Sep 2011 02:42:00 +0000

Wisdom and good judgment are words you will run across frequently in the books of the Bible written by King Solomon. Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are full of references to becoming wise, acquiring wisdom, developing good judgment, asking for wisdom...the list goes on and on.

Most of the time, the Bible talks about asking God for wisdom. Obviously it is not something we are born with. We have to get it from someone else.

Why then, do we so often think we can do things based on our own knowledge base? Why do we think we already know everything there is to know? Or worse, we think we know enough to make an informed decision on our own. That is probably the one that gets us in the most trouble.

I am trying to stop more often - acknowledge that I may not have all of the information - and then ask those around me with more experience.

Sometimes you have to stop, remove yourself from yourself and look at things from a completely different point of view. Sometimes you have to dissect a sentence or an emotional response to find out why it was offensive to you. And sometimes you just have to shut up.

Yep, I said it. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue.

I have an incredibly hard time withholding information, mainly advice. Since I think I know everything already, I have a hard time not sharing all of it with other people. Sometimes is it the right time, and sometimes it is not. Usually I just end up with a women's size 10 in my mouth looking for a place I can spend a few minutes chewing on shoe leather.

So, lately I have been asking for wisdom, and swallowing the FACT that I don't know everything. I have been trying to develop good judgment - and sometimes the development process is a little painful, and comes with the side dish of humility.

What I mean to focus on here, is that life is about learning. Don't ever think you have arrived, cause you will arrive flat on your face.

I think I will just stay down here for a while. The weather is really nice.

Am I Jericho?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 15:48:00 +0000

I was reading this morning...more like mid-morning...and came across one of my favorite accounts in the Bible, the fall of Jericho (located in the book of Joshua 6:1-27).

You know how sometimes you read something and it reminds you of the last time you read the same thing? Well that is exactly what happened. A little memory bomb exploded in my mind and I had to look back through my journal to find the entry, and to remember what God was trying to get across to me.

I found the entry back in early March, but the verse I wrote down in my journal that day was in Hebrews 11:30, "It was by faith that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for seven days, and the walls came crashing down." Most people know that Hebrews chapter 11 is called the "Hall of Faith" because it lists men and women, along with events throughout the Bible that required great faith. It's not that the people were great, in fact most of the time they were afraid, but God gave them the gift of faith and they were able to bring Him glory and accomplish something great in his honor. So the account of the Fall of Jericho was so significant that the writer of Hebrews included it in his letter hundreds of years later.

So I went back to Joshua and read the account of the battle, and one verse in particular stood out to me:

Joshua 6:1 Now the gates of Jericho were tightly shut because the people were afraid of the Israelites.

You see, God had given Joshua the job of leading the Israelites across the Jordan River to take hold of the Promised Land. The thing was, that there were already people living there, so the Israelites had to fight in order to take hold of what God was giving them. (That statement could be a blog unto itself.) Word had spread throughout the land that Israel was undefeated because God fought their battles for them. So, out of fear they closed themselves up behind their walls, and no one was allowed in our out.

Most of us know the rest of the story...God gives Joshua a command to march around the walls of the city once a day for 6 days. The priests were supposed to lead the way blowing rams horns and carrying the ARC of the Covenant. Then on the 7th day they were to wait for His signal (given by God through the priests) and then let out a mighty shout and that the walls of the city would come crumbling down. Then they were to go into the city, destroy everything, except for the things that were sacred to the Lord.

And that is just what happened.

The people obeyed the Lord's command and when the city walls fell, the Army of the Lord ran into the city, destroyed everything except for the items that the Lord wanted for His treasury, and then they occupied the city.

There are so many things you can draw from this story, but what stood out to me back in March, was... "What if I am Jericho? What if I have walled myself off because of fear? What if I am hiding within myself because I am more comfortable with the sin in my heart than with the idea of being purged and occupied by God?"

It only took 7 days for the Lord to break through the fortified walls of a city, how long do you think it would take Him to occupy a heart that is ready to surrender to Him? This is the prayer that I wrote in my journal,

Lord,

Will you take the walls of my heart and break them like you broke the walls of Jericho? Will you burn out and kill anything that you don't find useful? Will you take the next 7 days and increase my faith? I believe that you are with me. I believe that you want me. I will give you my heart, but only you can breach these walls with your battle cries and your pure undiluted presence.

How many times in our lives will we be tempted to build a wall of protection around our hearts? Every time I am hurt, or let down, or offended it would be easy to add another block to the wall. It would be easy to make the promise, I'll never let anyone do that to me again. But think about it friends, what happens to a city under siege? They waste away; they starve to death. Disease takes over and they die slow and painful deaths, their hearts full of bitterness and hatred. What they built to protect themselves, ultimately kills them.

Why don't we trust the Lord instead? Why don't we open the gates to Him, and let Him be our Strong Tower? Let Him be your fortress and refuge in time of need. He is there, waiting outside your gate. Waiting to protect you, to love you, and to guide you. He is very patient, but a time will come when every knee will bow and call him Lord; even those that are still starving behind their walls will bow to Him - but they will perish as enemies.

When this battle on earth is over, where will you be kneeling?

Night Owls Unite

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Fri, 02 Sep 2011 04:08:00 +0000

Lately I find myself a night owl.

OK maybe, I have always been a night owl, and now I am spreading my wings a little bit.

How can real, true blue night owls function in society? I am not trying to be silly here...think about it. If you have a natural tendency to stay up late, it is hard to wake up early. I really believe that some people function better in the evening time, some better in the morning, and some people, well let's just call them middle of the day people.

I have be jolted out of delicious sleep for the past 24 years of my life. Those of you who know me, are doing a little math right now saying, "Now she knows she's older than that." It's true...but I can't remember much of my life before kindergarten, so I am canceling the first 5 years of my life. I digress.

I have been awakened either by alarm clock, panicked mother, roommate, dog licking me in the face, or by my wonderful husband with a cup of coffee at my bedside...you name it, I have hated it - nothing personal to the waker-uppers. I just don't like waking up early. Especially when I hit my creative peak right about now...9:44pm and I can ride this wave well past midnight if I let myself.

The way I see it, there are only a few options out there for night owls.

1. Suck it up, go through life tired. This has been my method for the past 24 years. It is just the way it goes. When we get to heaven there won't be time, so we won't have to worry. Ahhh...heaven...it will be like...well Heaven!

2. Become a trucker. Semis own the road after dark. You can have miles and miles of highway under your tires and stay up as late as you want to. Just park by a Taco Bell or a 24-hour Wal-Mart and you've got it made.

3. Take the graveyard shift. Most jobs have one...and no one wants it - except for the night owls. We reap the benefits of the extra hourly pay to work while the rest of the world sleeps.

The problem most creative types will find with options 2 and 3, is that there's no space...the time is too structured. When we would rather be whipping up the latest, greatest, newest thing we are stuck driving or watching the security monitors at the airport.

What are we to do? I guess there is only one thing we can do...refer to option 1. We take what we can get when we get it. We have to monopolize on the moments when we can spread our wings...cause the cage is going to come back some time.

So here's to all the night owls out there. Those who are just logging on to check their email, those who are just signing on to Skype, those who are just typing out a blog...oh wait that's me.

Here's to creative energy, and to the people in our lives who understand us - and don't mind falling asleep with the glow of the computer screen cast across their face.

A Day in Town

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 01:23:00 +0000

On Tuesday I rode the bus into town to take care of some errands. I had to go to the office of immigration and to the dentist. I knew ahead of time that I would be doing a lot of waiting; I stayed up late to finish the book I was reading so I could take the next on in the series with me. I didn't want to have to lug two gigantic books around town with me!

Everything went very smoothly. I walked in and out of immigration with no surprises! Hallelujah!! I went to Pizza Hut for lunch - they have free internet and good specials. I even had enough time to walk over to the mall and pick up a few new movies, before I caught a cab to the dentist. I spent an hour in the dental chair...going to my happy place...and then scheduled another appointment to take care of my remaining cavities. :-( Then I headed over to the bus station for another few hours of waiting. I selected a shady spot on the curb and continued reading until the bus arrived. We left the terminal at 4pm and pulled up to my gate almost 2 hours later, just as it started to rain.

All-in-all, it was a great day, but there was one thing missing...my husband. Mark stayed back at the ranch to help the crew finish out the last week of work on the volunteer housing. I missed his jokes at lunch time, and his protective presence while running errands.

I am so blessed to have such a great husband. I am at a loss for words to describe him, but just know that he is really cool.

Soon and Very Soon

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 02:56:00 +0000

I see in the distance, a light at the end of the tunnel. Our summer teams are coming to an end, we have the last one with us right now from Longview, Texas. This is an incredible team of nursing students from LaTourneou University, a PA from the Great White North, and a new and fast friend Greg Seager of The Christian Health Service.

These guys have been a bundle of laughs, and have brought a fresh perspective to our ministry along with a high energy level of service. The students are helping us reach out to our local schools by delivering a health education program and loving on our patients and students.

I am grateful for their youth and their energy. As the summer comes to a close for us, I can already feel my body shutting down. At 7:30pm I start yawning in devotions and at 6:30am I am still wishing I could press snooze again. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. This group has been great, and I am seeing the students develop before my eyes. I can only hope that God is unfolding His plan for their lives, and confirming things for them as they seek His will.

Soon and very soon...rest will come. I just hope that God will continue to use me and work through me in these last few days with the team.

Pot or a Pipeline?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 16:48:00 +0000

OK, so I know I talked a long time ago about how much faster times flies as you get older...well, for time to be going this fast I must be a million years old. I can't believe that it is almost July, which means Mark and I will be making our 1 year wedding anniversary soon. I can't believe the summer of 2011 is almost over. I can't believe I am 29 now - since my birthday last week. And I can't believe how much has been accomplished in the last few months.

God continues to amaze me at the rate He can do things, and how He can bring them about through the willing hearts of His people.

This past week we took Lee University to serve the community of Nueva Florida. We packed up the team and took off on the 3.5 hour drive - my co-pilot was Sam Williams. I hadn't had much time to talk with him since he had returned from his first year of college, so it was a great time to hear what was going on in his world.

We ended up on the subject of 1st Corinthians chapter 13 talking about the body of Christ and the definition of Love. He told me how those verses were challenging him to love better, love others like God loves us. It was really cool to see him growing in Christ and digging into the Word. Then he began telling me about a conversation he had with the Lord about a year ago, and it was so similar to what God had been speaking to me at that time as well.

I am not sure if I have already written about this on the blog - it may have just been a journal entry, but I think it is cool enough to share twice.

The question is, are you a pot or a pipeline?

For a long time there has been a great analogy taken from scripture that we are earthen vessels put here to carry "treasure" or God's Word to humanity. The word picture works for so many different circumstances, but I think the most common one is this: if you aren't spending time with God your pot is empty, and you don't have anything to offer to others. If you are full of the Spirit, you will have plenty in your pot to pour out as an offering to God by serving, ministering, and working for the Kingdom. You can even go so far as to say that if you hoard all of the blessings that God is pouring into you you, by not generously sharing whatever it is, that your pot will become stagnant, full of mosquito larvae, and it won't be any good to anyone.

What Sam and I both feel the Lord is trying to tell us, is that we need to step it up. There is a sense of urgency He is trying to covey by challenging us to turn our pots into pipelines. What do pipes do? They connect things, they bring a resource from where it is stored in point A to a place where it is needed at point B. What happens if you cut the bottom out of your pot? Everything will fall out, right? You have the potential to lose everything you have stored up. BUT what if you are simultaneously connected to the Lord in a way that you are constantly bursting at the seams? Your pipe stays full - you are being ministered too at the same rate that you are ministering to others.

The challenging part of that is it takes intentional connection with the Lord and with the people you are ministering too. Not to mention you can't be stingy with your time, talents or treasure because you will create a backup - a clog, and no telling how long that will take to repair. But I think the pros outweigh the cons. You are either full or empty, hot or cold - there is no lukewarm position. You know immediately when you need time with the Father because you feel the emptiness, the drop in pressure, the decrease in your output.

So ask yourself, are you a pot or a pipeline? You may not like the answer you get, in that case bring it to the Lord and ask for help. Or you may finally understand why God has been urging you on, challenging you to step it up. Time is of the essence!

It is all for His glory, all for the glory of the Lamb!

Full of Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Sun, 15 May 2011 23:43:00 +0000

We have had an incredible week here at the Jungle Hospital, with a combo medical team from HPC and Big Lake Heights COG. It was so great having Dr. Cheri here again, and I only let her go home since her daughter is coming to spend the summer with us.

The week went very smoothly...supernaturally smoothly. We have done a lot of medical brigades, and not all of them have gone as planned. Not all of the teams have been unified (let alone two different teams coming together in heart and mind). We got to witness a special miracle this week...God bringing people together.

You know that He is going to do amazing things in the last days. And I believe He is doing those things. These 2 churches were from different parts of the country, from different denominations, serving different groups of people, but they came together here in Honduras, to serve our people - the ones we believe are God's favorites - the least of these, the orphan, and the widow, the sick and the forgotten.

My heart overflows as I think about what happened last week. How our HHG team played their parts, and made the whole thing come together. Sometimes our part seems small...but that is when we have to remember that this isn't about us. It is about Him and how He can multiply some thing so small and make it effect countless people for eternity.

From reception to pharmacy, from the consult room to the construction sites, our team pulled their weight and more.I am so proud of HHG, HPC and Big Lake Heights COG. It brings joy to my heart to know that God is in the unity business, and I pray that He continues to blow our socks off. Let 2011 be the year of miracles - small ones, big ones, practical ones, and wow ones.

Father open our eyes to see your hand at work.

I Keep Reminding Myself

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 02:10:00 +0000

There are so many things I have to keep reminding myself about life. You think you'll be able to learn a lesson, file it away in the "Already Got It" file and be done with it...but life really isn't like that. Sometimes, you keep revisiting that file folder, and right now...it is open on my desk.

I feel like it's review week for "things I thought I already learned" test; the exam is next week and I am cramming! I was never a big fan of the Final Exam.

The good thing is, that I am surrounded by people who give me grace, and might I add, I am taking double helpings of that at the moment.

So here is are 5 things I Thought I Already Learned but Get to Learn All Over Again:

Be sweet - This one sounds simple, but it's not. There have been a few days this week where I felt like I was trapped in an episode of Ally McBeal, where she imagines that she sucker punches her coworkers in the face, but in reality she says "Sure, I'll take care of that for you," in an icky-sweet voice. So I don't want to be Sweet-n-Low sweet, I want to be 100% real sugar sweet. Louisiana Iced Tea sweet.
Over communicating is a good thing - it is better to say the same thing 1,000 times and have everyone on the same page, than it is to say it something twice and have it blow up in your face later.
Everyone is NOT out to get you (self explanatory).
Sarcasm is the exact opposite of Duct Tape - it doesn't fix anything!
Planning is important, but the ability to "whing it without loosing it" is just as important.

As funny as these things are, they are an important part of living together and working together. I love my job and the people I get to do it with. I am so grateful that they give me grace when I need it, and that they aren't afraid to give me a swift kick to the backside when I need that too.

See, I didn't forget my promise!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Sat, 26 Mar 2011 14:29:00 +0000

We are getting ready to receive our first purely medical team of the season. That means...brigades, brigades, brigades! It will be interesting for Mark to see what Medical Teams look like, and this will be our nurse's first rodeo as well. Bay Community Church arrives in a few hours...and we still have to clean up around here -you know that little junk-y stuff that accumulates and no one seems to know where to put it - that is my job. I am the de-junker on group days, lol. We also have to trek down the mountain for supplies and then come back and cook dinner.

OK, what am I doing blogging?!?!?!

I wanted to uphold my end of the deal here, and keep you posted! Pray for us! This is going to be a wild ride.
4 brigades in 4 villages in 4 days

OH, yeah...I am been feeling the urge to learn how to write grants. Let's see what God does with this, and how He can use me in that way on the mission field. More uncharted territory!

Love you guys!

Oh Where, Oh Where did the last 3 months go?!

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 21:59:00 +0000

When I logged on today I saw this staring me in the face, "Last post on Dec 27th."

OUCH!

A few months ago, I would have rushed head long into feelings of guilt and condemnation for not keeping you guys in the loop, but that was 3 months ago. I have been lost in the world of Twitter and Instagram, thanks to Heather Leblanc and her iPhone donation! (Please look me up on FaceBook, where I post pictures via Instagram on a regular basis.)

One thing I have noticed since the iPhone appeared in my hand is that things these days are all about the "now." Sending a picture about what is happening now. Tweeting something someone just said. After a few minutes pass that event, or quote, or picture loses it's appeal. So if you don't send it right then...it just fades into the background of your life; it becomes a part of the tapestry.

Don't get me wrong...I love, love, love being able to send a photo to all my lovely Stateside counterparts. It is thrilling, and I hope you guys love receiving them via whichever social network I appear on. BUT...I miss the blog. I miss taking the time to chew on something for a few minutes. I miss dwelling...savoring.

So many things have happened in the way of married life on the mission field. I can't believe Mark and I are working on our 8th month of marital bliss. I can't believe it is already March and the season of activity and groups is well underway. I can't believe how different this year is from all of the rest. I keep thinking that I will get a handle on it at some point...but just as I think I've got it, POOF there's a curve ball.

Here's to living on the edge. Here's to the fast paced lifestyle of juggling groups, practitioners, interns and marriage. BUT...I promise not to forget about the blog-sphere. I don't want my life to be a camera roll of unsent pictures. Nope. We must take time to work things out on paper...or a computer screen, lol.

Love you guys!

Merry "Far-Away" Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 16:35:00 +0000

So, of course Mark and I are navigating this marriage thing, and this missionary thing all at the same time. This was our first Christmas as a couple, and although we had a great celebration with the missionaries here in Honduras...we were both missing home. It is a strange thing living on the mission field.

Visitors often ask me what it is like living in Honduras, and I have to tell them the truth, "When you are there you miss here and when you are here you miss there. You always feel split right down the middle."

This Christmas was no exception. Well, maybe it wasn't a 50/50 split for me...more like 70/30 and the bigger part was on the US side. Last year I was with my family in the States for Thanks Giving AND Christmas. The year before that was my first Christmas in Honduras, and everything was so new and adventurous, that the sting of loneliness was kept out of the picture.

I am learning a lot of things:

I am complete in Christ no matter where I am or whom I am with.
We are in charge of establishing the traditions in our own families. (It just so happens that I have a family of my own now, and although we are still a small part of our bigger families, we have to start setting up our traditions as "The Youngers.")
There must be space in your life: space to breathe, space to rest, space to be with Him.
Sometimes it hurts, and that is OK.

There are some other lessons I am learning as well...but they haven't quite defined themselves yet. But those 4 are pretty BIG all by themselves. They are all difficult for me to grab on to, and even more difficult to implement in my life on a practical level.

I am so grateful for my family that understands I am where I am supposed to be. I am so grateful to God, who continually confirms that for us in undeniable ways. It is all about Him anyway.

So Merry "Far-Away" Christmas! I love you guys and gals, and I miss you train loads. I hope your New Year's plans will include Honduras in some shape or form. Live blessed, not busy.

Where did all of the margin go?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 13:27:00 +0000

November 14, 2010 was my 2 year anniversary of living and working in Honduras. I didn't realize that it had past until today...December 8, 2010. Not that it is really a big deal, or that I would have thrown myself a party or something, but I think that missing it is an indicator of the business of my life. I missed a couple of my friend's birthdays, and my dad's...life is a little out of control.

I am not sure what is going on. Everything seems to be in the air above my head, just out of reach, and then WHAM, one of them comes crashing down and that is the one I rush to work on. What is happening to me? There is no focus, there is no planning...it is all damage control.

I think there is some unspoken pressure for me to perform. I am "fresh" and "new" to the mission field, so I feel like I am supposed to work harder and longer than anyone else. I'll be honest, this pressure doesn't come from anyone but me. I keep asking myself, "Why am I so tired?" Maybe it is because I have been running non-stop for 3 years. I have got to find some sort of order before this whole thing comes tumbling down.

So for the next how ever long it takes, I am going to be focusing on not burning out. If I go down, I am no good to anyone. I can't hold myself to some unachievable standard, and then get upset when it doesn't work out. I crave encouragement from people, approval and verbal affirmation - but that should be what drives me. I think I need to realign. I have got to find some margin - that space between you and the end of the rope. I can't keep going all the way to the end of my limits, over and over again, and expect not to burn out.

If you are praying, pray for clarity, for God to show me what is driving me to perform. This isn't going to be easy, but I don't think I am alone in this struggle. Maybe we can walk this road to discovery together.

Good Bye and Then Hello Again

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 21:32:00 +0000

I have never had someone close to me die before, until yesterday morning. This is a very difficult thing. I know what it feels like now. Maybe I can be a comfort to others one day, if I can ever stop randomly crying.

Jordan Gautreau and I went to Elevate together. He was like a little brother. It really hurts to think that I won't hear his goofy laugh again, or see his sincere smile. Jordan was one of a kind.

When we were in internship, he would eat other people's expired food with relish. He would watch it in the staff refrigerator until that fateful day when it would go out of date. And then...he would eat it. Yogurt was his favorite. I think he survived Elevate from eating other people's expired food...that, and Cooking for Christ leftovers.

He was always ready to laugh. A giggle, a chuckle, or a full out belly laugh were always just right under the surface.

For most of the time I knew him he looked homeless. Long shaggy hair, giant beard, he wore clothes that didn't fit him...and had questionable hygiene...and then it was like the style button was finally turned on. I came back from Honduras to see that he had turned that ho-bo look into something fashionable, something all his own.

We had a huge garage sale to support our mission trip during the internship. And I think Jordan tried on every item he thought was cool. Even if it was 10 sizes too small, or smelled really, really bad. He loved to dress up. He took it to the next level. He became whatever he dressed up as...he acted the part, looked the part and it was incredibly hilarious. His last exploit was Wolverine, and he WAS Wolverine.

But, out of everything I remember about Jordan. I will remember his love of Christ and the lost. He was easy to read. If you knew him, you knew that you could read him like a book. He wore his emotion on his face. He was real. His love for God just jumped off of him. He took service beyond the second mile. He was always ready to do whatever anyone asked him...and with a great attitude.

Mark and I got to see him last week when we were in town. I will cherish those moments. We were at HPC a lot, and of course we saw Jordan everywhere. Sometimes, I think he lived under a stairwell or something. Every time we saw Jordan, he would come over and hug us. He said, "We've got to get them while we can." He said that because Mark and I were returning to Honduras, but now I will remember those last hugs, because he has left us.

I know that there will be tons of people in Heaven because of Jordan.

Welcome home Jordan. We will miss you, but I am so glad that we will see you again one day.

The Youngers Global DOT COM

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 23:43:00 +0000

I have been super busy around here for the past couple of weeks. It was like all of a sudden a "productivity bomb" dropped on me and there wasn't anything I could do about it. We reopened the outpatient clinic at HHGlobal, so that meant early mornings and visiting patients again. I have been doing tons of computer work trying to get a hold of our growing inventory of medicines, supplies and donations for the school kids. We are also trying to revamp the website, catch up on blogs for the ministry, and of course, shuffle things around in storage (our favorite rainy season activity).

On top of those projects, I am now a wife.

Hey, no laughing!

So about 6 months ago, I could come home from work -dead tired at 9pm- and eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, shower and be in bed by 10pm...that wouldn't be much of a home life for our new family. Learning how to manage time is always on the top of the list. I am a planner...married to a non-planner.

Learning how to live together is a lot more than figuring out where you are going to keep all of the socks, or not fainting at the grocery bill when you can't just by cereal and milk anymore. Marriage is about sacrifice. It is about dying to self all of the time...it is about being like Christ. I hope I get better at that.

As we combine our material things, we are combining our internet things as well. We are launching - drum roll please - theyoungersglobal.com. Our new internet home. I will still be here at hlstewart.blogspot.com, but now at one location you can link to both of our blogs, see updates that affect us as a couple, see pictures, donate, get prayer requests, and much more.

So here's to getting married and starting life with someone else...together...even on the internet.

No Weapons

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:38:00 +0000

I have been getting a lot of prayer requests lately. Most of them have been to health related problems, and I find that kind of interesting since I work at a hospital where our mission is to bring health, hope and healing.

It would be easy to get overwhelmed by the amount of suffering that happens in this fallen world...
It would be hard to read all of those requests...
There would be too many needs...

IF....there were not a God.

I am so grateful to know that my God is bigger than all of these prayer requests. On top of that...He knows each person individually, and can minister to them in a completely personal way. He has promised to hear our prayers, He has promised never to turn His back on believers, and He has promised that He WILL be there when we are united in prayer.

When you look at God through the clouds of your problems it may be easy to lose sight of Him. BUT if you look at your problems through the love of God Almighty you realize that no weapons formed against you will prosper.

The John 10:10 Equation

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 19:03:00 +0000

The Day after I posted the "Should I Stay..." blog, Mark and I were talking about the gospel John and some things he was reading in Hebrews, Heb 10:19-23 to be specific. With the story of the disciples trial fresh on my mind, and the last thought of the blog still on my heart, I listened to him read out of Hebrews...and things started to fall into place for me. I wanted to share what I wrote in my journal with you.

The idea of God always being with us, is so big to me. But more than that...maybe we should realize that we are always with Him. That was like a light bulb turning on in a dark corner. Showing me that I was walking in the right direction, but now that I can see where I am going...my path is brought into greater focus.

See...this circles back to humility. I was, in my own prideful way, saying that God was with me. He is, yes, and He will never leave me nor forsake me...but the revelation that I am also with Him...put things into better perspective for me. John 15 talks about the concept of us abiding in Jesus and Jesus abiding in us. That if we are going to be truly fruitful in this world, we have to abide.

Jesus being with us is only part of the equation. The other half, is that we are with Him!!!!

Ok, not there yet? Hang with me.

Here are the notes from my journal:

He is not only with me, I am with HIM...in HIS throne room.
We must be in the right place of humility all the time to live in His will....to abide in Him.
Saying, "He is in my heart" makes Him seem small...in reality I am in His hands. I don't carry Him around, any more than He carries me through life.
I am not His keeper...I am His vessel.
Mother Teresa said, "I am only a pencil in the hand of a writing God."
"He must increase, I must decrease." John 10:10
TRUE Humility is the key...identifying your right position under the all powerful creator God.

OK...so after reading those notes again, I went for reinforcements. I blogged about my love for Andrew Murray and his book Humility, a while ago, so I went back there for a reference. His definition of humility is this:

Humility is the place of entire dependence upon God...It is not something we bring to God, or that He bestows; it is simply the sense of entire nothingness that comes when we see how truly God is everything. When the creature realizes that this is a place of honor, and consents to be - with his will, his mind, and his affections - the vessel in which the life and glory of God are to work and manifest themselves, he sees that humility is simply acknowledging the truth of his position as a creature and yielding to God his place.

It is the last line of that paragraph that is so powerful to me! If we are to really understand that the glory of God lives in us and manifests through us, we must find our right place of humility before Him. So in true abiding - God is in my heart, but I am also in His hands. It is a 2 part equation, that uses the entire power of the Trinity.

Check it out:

Submission to God, in surrendering everything, to be His hands and feet through the power of the Holy Spirit working in us, is only made possible through the sacrifice and blood of Jesus. HA! Hallelujah!

That, for me, is huge, and I wanted to share it with you guys too. So beautiful is the plan of God; it is such a tapestry, rich with the colors and patterns only known to the artist. Oh to be a thread in His hand! Lord, may the color of my life bring you pleasure, and may it be long enough to make the connections you seek.

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now...

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 17:04:00 +0000

"If I stay there will be trouble....if I go there will be double...." Remember that song?

There are so many decisions in life. Some are little, like..."what will I eat for lunch"...some are big, like "should I move my family to the mission field?" It is true that decisions affect the people in our lives and can create chain reactions that go farther and wider than we can imagine. So how do we know in which direction to go?

I was reading in John the other day, about the time when Jesus walked on water: John 6:16. I pictured myself as a disciple. Jesus had just fed 5,000 people and sent them away so he could have some time alone.

In this story, the disciples wait for Jesus at the docks until well after sunset but when he doesn't come back they take off in the boat for the other side of the lake. Here is where they get into trouble. A storm catches them in the middle of the lake, and as they struggle against the wind and waves they see what they think is a ghost on the water. Of course, it isn't a ghost...it is Jesus, and once they realize that it is him, "they were eager to let him in the boat."

That last line reminded me of how often in life I leave Jesus behind, not waiting for him to help me make decisions. And then...when I am in trouble...I am "eager" to turn to him so he will save me from the mess I made.

So what do you think...should the disciples have waited for him at the dock? If they would have waited...they may have had some valuable time with Jesus. He only had a 3 year ministry, so I can only assume that every minute was valuable to him.

But if they had waited for him...they would never have seen him as master of the wind and waves. Maybe the decision wasn't the important thing...maybe they were supposed to know Jesus was with them all of the time, regardless of his physical presence.

Will we ever truly understand the fact that He is always with us? That we have authority over things of this world because He lives in us? I am not sure I will ever get the immensity of that statement, but I am willing to get to know him better, as a person, as the son of God, and as my Savior.

I would love to know your thoughts.

Remembering Times Past

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:54:00 +0000

Yesterday I found something really special in the reception room of the hospital: a Scofield Reference Bible in the Authorized King James Version, of course. The first printing of this Bible was in 1909 by the Oxford Printing Press. I don't know when this copy was printed - but it is in great condition, so it can't be that old.

The thing that makes this Bible so special to me is that it is the same edition my Great Grandmother Addie Semion used to read. I recognized the spine of the book immediately and when I opened it I almost expected to see the birth dates of my aunts and uncles written in the front cover. The typeface was so familiar, and I closed my eyes and let myself drift back to when she used to read the Word to her grandchildren and great grandchildren. If you slept over at Maw Maw Addie's house, you were going to listen to her read the Bible every night. There was no option, but you know...I don't ever remember any of us putting up a fight.

We almost awaited it eagerly. We would all pile up on the green vinyl sofa-bed in her living room, pull the handmade patchwork quilts up around our shoulders, prop up on our elbows and listen. She would read from no where in particular, sometimes she took requests - and we always wanted to hear of the epic battle scenes, or the famous stories of Noah's Arc or Sampson and Delilah. She would also share with us, the notes at the bottom of the page, and it was from her Bible that I learned what those little numbers in the middle meant. She would flip back to the concordance, and show us the maps at the back of the book.

So...what did I do...standing in the reception room at the hospital...holding this little link to my past? I took the Bible. The Bible is the most shoplifted book in the world - it's true. Ha Ha...I am not really sure if this is stealing. I am still working on that one. I can't ask permission because Martin and Wendy won't be back from the States until Friday, so until then...I have moved it to my apartment for safe keeping. :-)

The Bible even smells like Maw Maw's house - like an old library, and I like that. There aren't many things I have to remember her by, so this - while it lasts - is very special.

So here's to past traditions, and to making new ones. We get to decide what we pass on to our children and grandchildren...so what will it be? What traditions are you making in your home?

Apartment Tour

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 17:51:00 +0000

So, here's to married life! It is like having a sleepover every night with your best friend. The only challenge so far has been...where to put all of our stuff! haha

I thought that you may want to see exactly where we are living now. There are tons of different types of living quarters on the mission field. There are mud huts, wooden houses, concrete structures; there are dirt, cement and tile floors; glass windows, screens or wooden shutters...the possibilities are endless. So I wanted to you have the grand tour of our home.

Mark and I are living in the little apartment on the 2nd floor of the HHGlobal dormitory. When groups are here we will be like the live in supers, lol...ready to fix shower head heaters in the middle of the night and enforce the no girls in the boys room rules. :-) Right now however..we are just enjoying our space, and still trying to get everything in it's place!

So here is the Vitrual Tour of the Younger Dwelling:

The Kitchen

The Bathroom

The Exercise Room

The Office

The Library

The Living Room

The Entertainment Center

The Bedroom

Mark has already started making some improvements to our living space, to make it a little easier for 2 people to live in here at the same time! We absolutely love our little place, and we are already making some great memories here!

We are so blessed to be living and working with the Williams and HHGlobal! We can't wait to see what God is going to do next!

What Can I Say?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 18:48:00 +0000

With the past few months so full of blessing I am having a hard time deciding what to blog about. We finished an incredible summer season with HHGlobal. Our team really pulled together in the last few months. It was a tough time of stretching and growth for us all, and we really hope me made the Father proud.

At the end of July, all of my free time and thoughts were totally consumed with my fiance Mark and the upcoming wedding. There wasn't a minute that passed without thinking of him and thanking God for giving me such an incredible man to do life with. OK enough mushy stuff =D

I returned to the States on July 24th, just a week before the wedding. I couldn't have had any better help with all of the wedding arrangements. I really don't feel like I did much of anything until that last week. It was so much fun to help put together all of the flower arrangements, bows, backdrops, and table decorations. I felt like I was setting up for Live the Dream or another HPC event...except this one was my wedding! haha

It was so great to see my family and friends from all over the place come together with Mark's bunch. My mom and Mrs. Karen (Mark's mom) are already planning some joint family adventures...I just hope we get to be a part of some of them ;-)

Mark and I left for Honduras the morning after the wedding. We went home to Rio Viejo for a night and then left for Utila, Honduras the next morning for a few days of honeymoon bliss. Check out our Facebook pages for some great pictures of that island paradise. Then we spent a night in La Ceiba, thanks to Martin and Wendy and the Lee University bunch, who went in together and put us up in a beach front hotel!

We have just been overwhelmed by the generosity of God's people. We are completely on cloud-9 right now...and not sure if we ever want to come down. It feels good to be home. Mark is settling in nicely, and I pray for him to find his place. He is making friends fast and taking the bull by the horns.

It also feels good to be back at the blog. For a while there wasn't time for anything...sleeping and eating were on the necessary list, and everything else fell by the wayside. I am looking forward to this season of planning and asking God to give me creativity for the future.

I love you guys, and I can't wait to share more with you!

Provision

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:41:00 +0000

Here is a picture of God's provision! Mark is having a garage sale today in Addis to help raise support for our time in Honduras. This is a picture he sent out last night at midnight. God was still providing donated items for the sale! I love our God!

Thanks to everyone who is helping to make our first year together on the mission field a success. We love you guys!

Faith and Obedience

noreply@blogger.com (Heather Stewart) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 20:41:00 +0000

Last night we had a time of devotion with the Lee University students who have been here serving the medical needs of the community for the past 2 weeks. We talked a little bit about our internship program at HHGlobal and our 2 summer interns Chad and Heather Jo, AKA Chepa, shared a little bit about how they came to be in Honduras.

They shared about obedience and faith. It was so encouraging to hear those words come from the youngest members of the meeting. Chepa talked about how she came to Honduras following God's call on her life, and Chad shared about the faith that it took to get him back for his second tour of duty this summer. In all of this I see God's faithfulness. I see His hand for sure...shaping the young lives around me. I pray for the courage to be obedient to Him. I pray that I have faith to trust in Him...not only for my provision...but for that of my new family.

I am learning so much about God's love for us though my relationship with Mark. I think I will learn a lot more as the months turn into years...but right now, I am learning that it is a bit more difficult to trust God with those that are closest to you. For some reason, I can trust Him without a second thought when it comes to my well being or provision, but it is more difficult now that there are 2 of us.

Lord, please help me to trust you, no matter how big my family becomes. Give me the faith I need to continue to serve you. When I say the words "I trust you" please make them true. I stand on your word, and I believe in your promises.