The Homesteading Housewife

The Redneck in Russia.

2010-01-05T06:04:00.004-06:00

Ok.. so the Man-of-My-Dreams isn't really in Russia...
But "The Redneck in Kazakhstan" just doesn't have the same ring.
So, we shall deal with me being a little geographically incorrect, ok?

I may have been absent from writing, but I have been hoppin-busy around the farm.
Getting him ready to be shipped off to a strange new land,
Kids home for Holiday break,
Friends and family visiting for the Holidays.
Cooking, cooking, cooking.
Chasing random escaped cows.
Fighting the flu.
Crying in my beer and missing my man.

...yeah, it's been one hellova month!

Anyway...
My redneck is in a third-world country.
He doesn't speak their language.
He is not being welcomed with open-arms.
He stands out like a sore thumb.
In other words, he is just about as far from his comfort-zone as possible.

Everything has been new for him...
The food,
The language,
even the shower and toilet took some figuring out!

The food? well.. it's different, but "not bad", except for the fact that they serve nothing cold.
Drinks, salads, everything, is served at room temperature or hot.

The toilets are "simple troughs in the floor, or square".
Even the thermostat in the uber-expensive hotel room was funky and difficult to figure out.

There are many other "issues" going on that are making this trip more than a little concerning, and unsettling for the both of us.

And... well.. I DON'T like it!

As the wife, I am not dealing with it too well.
I am the one who makes sure my man is safe and comfortable,
I am the one who makes sure he is eating well,
I am the one who takes care of the "little things" that make life more livable.
And the fact that there is nothing I can do to help him out over there, is NOT settling well with me!

Helpless is NOT a feeling I am used to dealing with.

I'm sure it will all be ok.
I'm sure it will all work out fine.
I'm NOT so sure it will happen before this Texas woman sticks a fork in someones eye tho!

More soon...

The List.

2009-12-29T06:12:00.005-06:00

As I have ~~whined,bitched,cried,about~~ , mentioned, the Man-of-My-Dreams is going to leave and work out of the country.
In Kazakhstan, as a matter of fact.
He leaves tomorrow. As in, less than 36 hours!

I am not impressed, neither is he...
But this job will be a good thing for our family.
He will be home every-other month, so he'll actually only be gone for 6 months working over the course of the year.

But.... BUT.... he's gonna be really REALLY far away!
In an attempt to freak out a little less, I have compiled a list of pro's and con's for this out of the country venture.

Lets see what I came up with...
And please! feel free to add your own.

Pro's about the Man-of-My-Dreams working out of the country.

1.) Career advancement.

2.) More income = can get some much-needed home improvements done.

3.) I hear frequent-flier miles are a good thing.

4.) I'll get the chance to surprise him with my weight-loss each time he comes home and see's the change. (I'm down 60lbs as of yesterday by the way! in less than three months! whoo hoooo!)

5.) We will save water! I will spend MUCH less time in the shower, if I don't shave my legs.
And... Why do I need to shave my legs if he isn't home? huh?

6.) I will be the one driving the truck!

7.) I will cook more Asian and fru fru meals. (NOT something he enjoys)

8.) I will control the remote!

Con's

1.) I will have no way to warm my cold feet. His warm feet work wonderful for this!

2.) I will have frizzy, limp & lifeless hair! Because there is no way I can rinse the conditioner out of my hair in the shower as well as he does!

3.) I'll have to schmoosh the spiders by myself!

4.) I'll be parenting solo... Without my Tag-Team partner.

5.) Paris, the love-struck cow, won't listen to me like she does him.. (her boyfriend)

6.) Who will remember it's trash day on trash day?!?

7.) I will actually have to get off my butt and fold the laundry by myself.

8.) I will miss him terribly.

*sigh*
THIS is gonna be interesting....

And They Lived to Tell the Tale...

2009-12-14T07:42:00.004-06:00

So, we all know I was away this week-end.
We all know I, usually, avoid leaving the farm at all costs.
We know I don't leave my family if I can help it.
We know I am quickly becoming a Hermit.

But... This week-end was a week-end so full of wonderfulness that I couldn't pass it up!
So, I left my family and flew to New Orleans.

The Man-of-My-Dreams was home to hold down the fort.
I'm not gonna say I wasn't a little bit worried,
I'm not gonna say I wasn't a little bit homesick,
I'm not gonna say I didn't call home every chance I got.

Especially when The Little-Foreman-in-Pink came down with a fever the night I left.
Especially when I heard (and saw the pictures) of the 4inch very dirty and rusty nail that the Man-of-My-Dreams impaled his forearm on.
Especially when I remembered that I forgot to order a propane delivery and my family was out of gas to keep them warm.

Each of these things could have ruined my week-end of crazy-goodness.
But....
It did not.

The Man-of-My-Dreams had it all under control.
He medicated the little sick one,
He kept her all snuggled down in "Daddy's Bed" with cartoons,
He cooked nutritious meals for the family,

He cleaned his deep puncture wound,
He soaked his arm in Epsom Salts,

He got the propane truck out to the farm at sunrise,
He kept the children on task,
Chores were finished,
The house was clean,

No one died!
No one was mangled (well... except for him!)

They did just fine without me...

...that's a good thing, right?

and it means I am a very lucky lady!

WINNER for Harrah's BEST Weekend EVER!

2009-12-13T21:42:00.001-06:00

And the winner is!! (by random drawing...)

William Meznarich said...: PS: I am actually cooking gumbo, for the saints game of course, as I am writing my comment. Retweeted! - TexasWineGuy; December 13, 2009 9:46 AM

Congrats William!
e-mail me at Dana@homesteadinghousewife to claim your prize!

The GREATEST Week-End EVER!

2009-12-12T09:49:00.009-06:00

Once upon a time, there was a girl.

This girl lived on a farm surrounded by stinky, muddy animals, and loud energetic children.

She spent her days battling dust bunnies and trying to reach the summit of Mt. Laundry.

She also dabbled with writing online.
She started a blog about her life on the farm,
Then she started a blog about cooking and her comfort food recipes,
Then she started a blog about stuff her Grandma made,
Then she started a blog about her battle with weight and new shiny new Lap Band.

She typed and wrote silly stories, yummy recipes, old fashioned tricks and tips...
And she was happy...

One day she got an e-mail inviting her to come visit New Orleans.
Harrah's Casino & Hotel in New Orleans, as a matter of fact.

They were inviting her and some other bloggers to come and enjoy the
Greatest Weekend Ever.

This weekend was geared towards people who love food from the Houston area.

She was surprised,
She was intrigued,
She was excited!

Obviously, there had been some sort of mistake...
They MUST have meant to invite another blogger from her area.
One who was interesting...
One who was popular...
One who occasionally left their homes...

She decided she couldn't pass up such a great sounding adventure.
Now she finds herself in the incredibly welcoming and charming town of New Orleans.

She finds herself staying in an amazingly beautiful hotel room.
She finds herself taking a bath in a tub thats bigger than her whole bathroom back on the farm.

Everywhere she goes she finds new and exciting things to see hear smell and taste,
She has found herself surrounded with an amazing group of people.

Together, they ate at famous restaurants in New Orleans,
They had amazing conversations,
And the food? On My Goodness the FOOD!

One thing that she noticed, that convinced her for sure that there had been a mistake made when she was invited is...
These other bloggers?
They are SERIOUS foodies!

She felt like a fraud.
She felt like she didn't belong with such knowledgeable people.
But she fell in love with each of them anyway.
She is learning from them.
She is thrilled to be in their company.

They are used to the fancy schmancy foods...
They have never made "Prison Wine"
They are used to the "good stuff".

She finds herself giggling as she eats dinner... Trying to imagine how her family back on the farm would react if she served them a platter of prosciutto wrapped figs for dinner.

She knows that they will figure out that they have made a mistake....
She knows it's just a matter of time before they toss her out on her big 'ol redneck butt.
But before they do...
She is gonna give YOU the opportunity to come and experience New Orleans like she is.

Win a FREE 2-night stay at Harrah's Casino & Hotel!

How to enter...

Leave me a comment telling me why YOU want to come have Your Own "Greatest Weekend EVER" At Harrah's NOLA.
Tweet this about giveaway using the Hashtag #HarrahsNOLA
Blog about this giveaway on YOUR Blog/Facebook page/ Myspace page etc...

Please use a separate comment here for each Tweet/post/etc... Make sure I know your Twitter name and/or leave a link to your post. Enter as many times as you'd like.

The winner will be chosen on Sunday 12/13/2009 by a random drawing.

Disclaimer.... yadda yadda yadda...

The winner will receive a 2-night stay at Harrah's Casino & Hotel in New Orleans.
Prize does NOT include travel, entertainment, meals etc...
The winner much be a US resident.
The free 2 night stay must be used before 12/30/2010

The Day The Blog Died.

2009-12-08T13:28:00.003-06:00

You know what?
The Man-of-My-Dreams has killed my blog!
Yep... Altho I love the man more than words can say.
I blame him for the demise of The Homesteading Housewife.

While he was working out of town,
I sat home with all 6 of the kids,
All of the critters,
All of the laundry,
All of the mud & muck that is our life here on our homestead.

One of the things that kept me writing was knowing that he was out there... somewhere... reading it.
Somehow it would make him feel closer to us,
Somehow he wouldn't feel like he was missing all the silly little things I write about when he was so far away.

While he was away,
I wrote every day.
I wrote about the "nothings" that happen every day.
I wrote about quirky kids.
I wrote about yummy food.
I wrote about muddy critters.
I wrote about my many MANY shortcomings in the Mothering, Wifeing, and Domestic Goddessing categories.

Now that he has been home,
I haven't been writing....
I haven't been able to think of anything "clever" or even remotely "interesting" to say.

I have, however, spent my days following The Man-of-My-Dreams around as he split & stacked fire-wood,
Cleaned the dust bunnies out from under the heavy furniture,
Refereed spats between the children,
Basically, he worked like a dog, while I sat on my big 'ol butt, admiring the view.

The view of the his muscles flexing while he does strenuous work outside.
The view of him sitting at his desk with his incredibly sexy furrowed brow, while he is working.
The view of him in the bed that I have slept in for so many months alone.
The view of the NO-dust bunnies under my couch.

I haven't written,
I have just been enjoying my time with The Man-of-My-Dreams while I have him in my hot little hands. (both figuratively and literally).

Anyway...
I have some good news...
And some Bad news.....

The Good News?
I'm gonna be writing a lot more again!
You will be able to read more of my pointless rambling soon.
I will once again be spewing my own inadequacies all over the huge world-wide web.
Oh joy!

Why? You Ask?

The Bad News.
The Man-of-My-Dreams is leaving again soon.
He will be further away than before.
He will be gone longer than before.
He will have less contact with us than ever before.
He will be in Kazakhstan...
... For at least a year!

Stay Tuned....
and thanks for Hanging in with me this far!

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Someday I'll learn not to brag.

2009-12-05T06:48:00.004-06:00

Just the other day I was talking to one of my online friends.
She lives in the frozen north.
She was complaining about her short growing season and her other cold weather gardening issues.

Being the great friend that I am, I, of course, had to send her some pictures of the beautiful blooming roses that I had in my garden.

Well... I guess I managed to anger her, and I guess she has a stronger bond with Mother Nature than I gave her credit for....

Because today, I took these pictures of the same roses.

Covered in....
SNOW!

We don't get snow here.
We don't get hard freezes here.
We don't like goosebumps.
We don't like frostbite.
We don't own windshield ice scrapers.
We don't own snow shovels.

And yet.. this is what my homestead had all day yesterday!

The up-side of the sudden and shockingly cold snap?

Homemade Hot Cocoa,
Homemade chili,
Camp fires,
snow men,
and...
Maybe...
just maybe....

this ice and snow will kill off some of the skeeters.

I will have to learn how to keep my big mouth (and camera) shut from now on!

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National Cookie Day! (Forgotten Kiss Cookies)

2009-12-04T06:38:00.002-06:00

It's National Cookie Day!
So, to celebrate, I'm gonna re-post the top three requested cookie recipes.
Recipe number 1 will bring a smile to anyones face!!

These cookies are bite-size bits of Heaven!
They call for mini chocolate chips in the dough,
But I live in the boonies and was out of mini chocolate chips.
I had a choice... use mini M&M's or driving to the city to buy the chocolate chips..
M&M's won!
And the Little-Foreman-in-Pink loves the "rainbow" look.
Dana's Forgotten Kiss Cookies

Ingredients

1 cup softened margarine
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup light brown sugar (packed)
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups flour
1 cup mini chocolate chips
1 9oz. bag Hershey Kisses

Chocolate drizzle (optional, directions below)

Directions

Preheat over to 375 degrees f.
In a large bowl, beat butter, sugars, and vanilla until well blended.
Add the flour and blend until smooth.
Stir in mini chocolate chips.
Mold a scant Tablespoon of cookie dough around each unwrapped kiss, covering completely. Shape into balls.
Place into un-greased cookie sheet.
Bake 10-12 minutes or until set.
Cool slightly, move from cookie sheet to wire rack. Cool completely.
Prepare chocolate drizzle, if desired, drizzle over each cooled cookie.
Enjoy!

Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

Chocolate Drizzle = In a small microwavable bowl, place 1/4 cup mini chocolate chips and 1 teaspoon shortening. Microwave for 30 seconds to melt. stir until smooth. Drizzle over cookies.

He's Leaving Me!!

2009-12-01T18:14:00.004-06:00

The Man-of-My-Dreams is leaving me.
He has been home for over two months.

We have had fun together.
We have laughed together.
We have loved together.
We have worked together.
... Well actually.... I sat on my big 'ol butt and watched him do the work.

And now,
He is leaving me.

He is, in fact, leaving the country!
He is going all the way to Kazakhstan to work!
Ugh!

Don't know anything about Kazakhstan?
Neither did I.
So, as I do with all things I know nothing about,
I Googled it.

This is what I learned...

It's just south of Russia, North of Iran.
And on this map.. it's a pretty green color.

I wanted to know a little more about the culture of Kazakhstan, and this is what I found.

Apparently there is a famous guy from there.
Borat....
I know nothing of Borat.
But...

If the Man-of-My-Dreams comes home wearing one of these I may have to put him down!

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The 5th Anniversary of my 33rd Birthday.

2009-11-30T14:28:00.007-06:00

Today is the 5th Anniversary of my 33rd birthday.
33 is My number.... so I plan on staying 33.

Anyway...
One of the things the Man-of-My-Dreams and I do most years is attend the Texas Renaissance Festival.

A renaissance festival is a fabulous place to go if you enjoy to "people watch".
I love to people watch.
Especially when you get to see such... um... "colorful" characters.

You get to see kings and Queens.

Fairies making beautiful art with colorful sand in the dirt.

Happy people who you want to hug.

Studly Santa'ish Barbarians who make ladies weak in the knees and beg you to take their picture with them.

odd kinda spiky leathery guys who you do NOT want to hug.

Then there were these guys..
They put on a very funny show involving a mud pit.

This fella ate and then spit mud all over the place.
Ok... It doesn't sound that funny..
Trust me, it was!

Especially when THIS happened!

This other muddy fella ran into the crowd.
He vowed to find the biggest and toughest man in the crowd.
Guess who he chose??

Yep!
The Man-of-My-Dreams!

This was not exactly what I had in mind when I told him I wanted to go "people-watching" at the Renaissance Festival!

If there was ever a time I was thankful I had my camera handy,
This was it!

It was a great day.
I got to watch lots of people.
We got to eat lots of food.
And the Little-Foreman-in-Pink hitched a ride back to the truck.

We were all happy.

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Wife Swap Re-Run ALERT!

2009-11-25T17:57:00.003-06:00

For those who asked to be told...

Our Wife Swap episode will re-run
This Friday (11/27/2009) at 2pm Eastern Time
On Lifetime TV.

Just when I get used to my title and shiny crown, it's all being taken away!

2009-11-23T14:00:00.003-06:00

The Man-of-My-Dreams has been home and off work for about 7 weeks.
During his time home, I have earned a new title...

"World's Greatest Slacker"

You should see my shiny crown and robe! It's awesome!

He wakes in the morning raring to go!
He's emptied the dishwasher and folded the clothes before I finish half of my coffee!

The toilets are clean, the hard water deposits have been scrubbed off the shower walls.
The tub has bright new caulk.

The closet is organized.
The dust bunnies are out from under the couch.

You've never seen such a purdy pile of perfectly split firewood!
He even cleaned out the fridge!

Now, don't get me wrong...
I want to do these things...
No, really..... I do.

But he doesn't give me a chance.
So what have I done while he is working up a sweat on his handsome manly brow?

Ive tried on all the clothes in the closet that didn't use to fit me.
I watched hundreds of Hot Air Balloons take flight.
I've colored my gray hairs.
I've Tweeted.
I've lost 46lbs.
I've kept the fire going outside and sat and watched it for hours.
I've painted my nails.
I started a new Blog.
I've cooked food.
I was banded.
I've gone to bed every night before 9pm.
I even took a nap or two.

Much to my dismay, I'm fixing to have to give up my title of the "World's Greatest Slacker"
Because....

He's going back to work!
In Mississippi!!
9 hours away!!

What am I gonna do?
What if I forgot how to wash clothes?
What if I forgot how to wash dishes?
What about the dust bunnies???

Who is gonna do all this stuff?
Do you KNOW how much work there is to do around here?!?!?

Oh...
Never mind...
The kids are all staying here....
whew...

Oh... that silly child labor law isn't still on the books.
... right? RIGHT??

... help!

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What Did She Do Now?

2009-11-21T05:43:00.003-06:00

She looks a little too triumphant....
She looks a little too proud of herself...

Did she finally succeed in stealing her brothers Hot Wheels?
Did she gulp down the last precious gulps of my coffee?
Did she lock her Daddy out of the house?... again?
Did she snitch on her brother and get him in trouble?... again?

Maybe she turned off NASCAR and turned on Dora before she hid the remote from her Daddy?
Maybe she ate the last cookie from the cookie jar undetected?
Maybe she flushed the cat down the toilet?

Never-mind....
I don't think I even want to know!

I'll just let her experience this uninhibited moment of pure glee while I remain clueless.... again.

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It's The Little Things....

2009-11-17T21:10:00.004-06:00

I mentioned last week that things have been pretty hectic around here.
I have found myself in quite the "funk".

When I find myself in a funk,
I grab my camera and take a walk...

It helps me to see the world around me from a different perspective.
It's amazing how much better it makes me feel!

Instead of a dormant for the winter, half-dead tree,
I see the contrast of the cool Fall against a beautiful blue sky.

I couldn't help but giggle at these silly buds who obviously don't know what time of year it is.

Who could walk by this fluffy & cuddly ball of fur without snuggling with him and smiling?

Even something as simple as leaves from my banana tree,
begin to look glorious, with that brilliant blue sky as their backdrop.

Then I heard this fella calling to me.

He made it possible for the Little-Foreman-in-Pink to become the envy of every other girl in her Kindergarten class.

Because she actually DID get a pony for her birthday.

After walking around the farm for awhile looking at it through a new set of eyes, I begin to notice the little things that I may have just walked by the day before.

Like this fiery-yellow fall leaf.

Oh, how I love Fall!

I'm envious of the fat barn cat who rolls up against the bottom of an Old Oak tree, soaking up his sun-beam.

What a life!

Even looking at something as mundane as the fire-wood pile.
The Man-of-My-Dreams and the boys worked so hard clearing, cutting, and splitting it for the winter.

Seeing a full wood pile makes me feel safe and secure and ready for anything.

I realize I don't have to wait for Thanksgiving to be thankful...

No matter how bad things seem,
I have everything I need, and more that I could ever want.

This guy tho?
Um....
He's got about another week to walk around the farm.
He'll be our guest of honor for Thanksgiving.

He better get to it!

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I Want That Wednesday!

2009-11-11T19:41:00.006-06:00

It's been awhile since I did an "I Want That" post.
The Holidays are coming and I have found soo much cool stuff that I want!

I thought I'd share my "wants" with you....
you may find something to make your gift-giving list a little shorter.

Or.... something to ad to YOUR I want that list! :)

Lasagna Pan

How cool is THIS???
You can make three different lasagnas!
The Man-of-My-Dreams can have super-spicy sausage.
The Little-Foreman-in-Pink can have triple cheese.
I can have lots of Ricotta cheese.
etc etc etc...

The really cool thing is that each section is made to fit a standard lasagna noodle perfectly!
BRILLIANT!!

And......
It comes with it's own non-stick spatula that fits it perfectly!
Ooooooh I want one!! Or two.... Or Three!!!

And.. who says you have to use it just for Lasagna??
Can you say BROWNIES???
huh? right?
RIGHT???

I found it HERE

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If I don't find the snooze button for my internal alarm clock, I may have to shoot someone.

2009-11-08T07:00:00.007-06:00

Yes, I know we all turned our clocks back over a week ago.
Yes, I know that people often have a hard time adjusting to the time change.
Yes, I know it messes with lots of peoples sleep patterns.

But... I also know that MOST people get over it!!

Me? Not so much.
The Little-Foreman-in-Pink? Not so much!
Guss the Pug? Not so much.
The Man-of-My-Dreams and workers #1 - #4?...
Sleeping like babies!! the ~~JERKS!,~~ darlings.

Each and every morning I find myself laying in bed with my eyes wide open at 4 am.
I try rolling over and squeezing my eyes shut, to no avail. I simply cannot go back to sleep.

If I ever did manage to drift back off,it would be short-lived because the darling Little-Foreman-in-Pink would be in my room at 5am looking for breakfast, or asking how to turn on the TV, Or telling me she is alone and wants to talk to me.

This means that I am ready to go to bed around 7pm each night.
This does NOT go over well with the My-Sleep-Pattern-Is-Not-Messed-Up members of the house.

I've tried staying up late to reset my clock.
That doesn't do anything except make me MORE tired!
I've tried going to bed at 7pm hoping the rest of the house can survive bedtime rituals without me.
That just makes the following morning MUCH more chaotic when we are looking for missing backpacks and lost socks before school.

The Man-of-My-Dreams tried his best to do the bedtime thing....
But Dads don't do it right! Sorry, fellas.... you simply are NOT Mom!

The lack of sleep has made me a tad ~~bitchy~~ cranky.
The lack of sleep has made me deal with stress with very little Grace.

And this week has been a Stressy Ball of stress-covered Stress!

Between the Man-of-My-Dreams being laid off from a job who promised him they would NOT be laying him off -- some pretty serious Stupid-Teenage-Boy stunts -- Army recruiters -- legal documents -- Police officers -- Recovering from Surgery -- school meetings -- class reunions-- bills that demand to be paid -- broken heater thermostats -- Jr High Bullies -- First heart-breaks -- NO DIET COKE -- a Pug who refuses to remain house-broken -- and car wrecks.
-Not to mention my inability to control when and where I decide to randomly inject a Capitol Letter into my Post!

- I consider anyone and everyone who has come within my reach Lucky to be alive!

So, my wonderful ~~readers~~ friends.... Bear with me while my posting has become a ~~Jumbled mass of few and far between bunch of rambling nonsense words~~ , tad sporadic.
(boy! does that sporadic word look spelled wrong or what?!? I looked it up and everything! ok nevermind... I really DO need more sleep ya know!)

Know that I will be back to normal.... Someday.... Maybe..... When the time changes again at least!

Love,
The Crazy Woman,
formerly known as - Dana (the Homesteading Housewife)

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I Wanna Try YOUR Recipes!

2009-11-03T06:34:00.004-06:00

My cooking site www.CravingComfort.com has been kinda quiet this month due to my surgery and following liquid diet.

Things are getting back to normal in my kitchen, and the recipes are starting to flow once more..
But I'm looking for YOUR recipes!

Would you like to submit a recipe to be featured on Craving Comfort?
For all the details...
Take a look! www.CravingComfort.com

I can't wait to see what YOUR cookin!

It ain't getting easier

2009-11-01T18:27:00.005-06:00

When I had my first child,
The endless nights with no sleep as we went through colic were hard.
The sleep deprivation was hard.
The constant worry, wondering if I was doing everything right was hard.

As my children got older...
The teaching was hard.
The dealing with snarky attitudes was hard.
The worry as they gained some independence was hard.

Now that my oldest is 17, I am realizing that this parenting thing doesn't get any easier.
As a matter of fact, this newest challenge may be one of the hardest so far.

See this cute couple?

This is Worker #1 and his girlfriend of 2+ years "M".
They are young and in love.
They spend every waking minute together or at least thinking of each other.

They are adorable together.
They make a really sweet couple.
As his mother, I couldn't have hand picked a better girl to be his first love.

But today, they are both devastated.
You see...
Today "M" moved to Pennsylvania.
It was a very sudden change of events.
They found out Thursday afternoon that she would be leaving on Sunday.

It's been a very difficult few days, filled with sadness and tears, promises, and good-byes.
We are all sad and will miss "M" deeply.

But...
I am realizing that trying to comfort your child through his first heartbreak is one of the hardest things I have had to do as a parent thus far.

I miss the days when My magic kiss could make things all better.
I miss being able to "fix" things.
I miss the days when my love was enough to bring him joy.

When my mother told me things like, I wish it were me hurting and not you....
She meant it!
I would gladly have it be my heart broken than his.

I have no words to make him feel better.
My hug isn't enough.
Only time will help heal this wound.

This parenting thing stinks sometimes!

Add one more thing to the list of
"Things they didn't tell me when I had a baby!"

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When Rednecks Find a Cause....

2009-10-26T16:25:00.011-05:00

Ever seen this many pick-up trucks at one place?
If you don't live round these parts, probably not.

This is what the road looks like when Rednecks find a good cause.

Know what this is?

These can be found when Rednecks find a good cause.
It shoots clay skeet far and fast into the air.

Can you believe these weren't even a fourth of the guns that we rednecks brought,
All because we found a good cause?

So... Just what do Rednecks do when we find a good cause??

We Shoot Stuff!

Men shoot stuff.

Women shoot stuff.

We shoot stuff in groups.

We shoot stuff alone.

Young people shoot stuff.
And old people shoot stuff.

Some of us shoot with really BIG GUNS.

Some of us shoot with little guns.

When Rednecks find a good cause it is always fun.
We all get along and are friendly.
We have a great time!

Speaking of our "Good Cause"...

See this adorable little boy?

His name is Lane.

Doesn't he have the sweetest face in the world EVER?

On this Day...
Our Good Cause Was Lane.

Lane is just three years old.
He has a blood disorder that requires him to have a bone marrow transplant.

Do you know how expensive a bone marrow transplant is?
I can only imagine the fear, worry & desperation his family must feel.

The least we rednecks could do was have a benefit and shoot stuff
in hopes of raising some much needed money for Lane and his family.

If anyone would like to help and join our Redneck Fundraiser.
There is a PayPal account that has been set up to accept donations for little Lane.

Anything would help!

You can go to www.PayPal.com
Click "Send Money"
and send anything you wish to donate to

FriendsOfLaneHoffpauir@gmail.com

Click "Send as Gift" and PayPal won't charge their usual fee.

Thanks!
And if you can't send some financial help.
Please keep little Lane in your prayers.

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I didn't call.... I didn't write....

2009-10-24T07:30:00.003-05:00

But, rest assured, I am still alive.

The past week has been a blur of activity around here.

I'm working on posts about everything that I, in true bad blogger fashion, haven't had the time or energy to hop on my computer and write about.

Here is whats coming in the next 24 hours.....

When Rednecks find a cause.
I feel like I've been stabbed 5 times... Oh.. wait.. I WAS stabbed 5 times!
What's a girl who loves to cook supposed to do??

these posts and tons of pics will be up soon
stay tuned....

Finding Fall.

2009-10-15T08:06:00.003-05:00

Ahhh the beautiful sights of Spring and Summer...

The trees are green.
The flowers are blooming.
Children are running through sprinklers.
There is a constant hum of lawnmowers in the distance.

And in Texas,
You sweat like a stuffed pig.
Mosquitoes are threatening to carry off your young children.
You can grill meats on the front seat of your truck.
Drought kills your vegetable plants not matter how much you water them.
My chickens lay hard-boiled eggs!

In Texas, we long for Fall.
We dream of Fall.
Fall is when we get the two weeks out of the year that we can actually turn off the Air Conditioner and open a window.

Fall usually comes this time of year.
But today?
It's gonna be 92 degrees outside!
Oh.. and did I mention the 327% humidity?

Can you say Bad Hair Day?
And a very disgruntled Dana who longs to wear a sweater someday.

and yes, this picture was taken yesterday!
*sigh*

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Where I've Been...

2009-10-13T10:38:00.005-05:00

I know I've been a bad blogger and haven't posted in several days....
But, lookie where I was!

I may be gone another several months going through the thousands of pictures I took of the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta, Because it was so breathtakingly beautiful.
But until then.
Take a look!

More soon....

Coming out of the closet.

2009-10-07T20:05:00.001-05:00

So, the Man-of-My-Dreams is home again.
He has been working out of state for the past two years.

One thing that I have mentioned about this man is the fact that he is just a tad bit of a clean freak.
He is a tab bit anal retentive.
He is a tad bit CRAZY when things aren't in order.

I am none of these things.
You see, I tend to get overwhelmed when facing such a huge task.
So our closet became quite the catch-all for all the odds-n-ends that found their way into our house and didn't have a home.

We had to tackle it before he could relax and enjoy himself.

He was wonderful and helped get it done in a matter of a few hours.
We found lots of things I had forgotten all about.

Toys and gifts I had bought through the years to give at birthdays and Christmas that were forgotten about.

Clothes that were too tight.
Clothes that were too big.
Shoes.
47 boxes of crayons.
Yards and yards of fabric that were supposed to become a quilt.
Enough yarn to crochet 72 afghans.
Old purses.
Old pictures.
Old vinyl records.
Then we found a basket of pictures I hadn't seen in years.

Lets take a look at some of my favorites...

Oh Man! a Nude picture of me on the internet?
Now I'll never be able to run for president.
The press always manages to dig up this kinda stuff.

Awwwwh
This my baby brother Ryan and I when I was 8yrs old.
Ryan died from a heart defect shortly after this picture was taken.
I was such a proud big sister.

Oh and check out the bumpy plaid couch....
Nice call Mom!
I remember the day I got that watch... Loved it!

This is My Big Brother Dan,
Dan died when he was hit by a car at the age of 17, I was 14.

He's holding my spoiled rotten little sister.
She looks sweet in this picture...
Don't let it fool ya!
She is evil, I tell ya... Evil!
Dan?
He's a real angel!

This is the 16 yr old me that would be so very disappointed in the 37 yr old me for living on a dirty farm surrounded by muddy boys,
NOT eating lobster in Hawaii, and living the glamorous life.

Could I have gotten my bangs any higher?
I'm just sayin...

Homecoming dance...
How did I even manage to walk straight with that mum?
I LOVED it though, sparkling lights and sharp pins included.
We won't talk about my date.

I was a 20 yr old over-stressed un-wed mother...
This kid was my first born.
He broke my tailbone after 32 hours of un-medicated labor and left me with 37 stitches in a very sensitive place!
He deserved this!

Whats up with the mushroom POOF hair?

Oh My...
This was taken at the baby shower for worker #2
when he was 389 days overdue!

Finally, My best friends wedding.
She bestowed the nickname "Paco" on worker #1 the day she first saw him...
He loves her anyway.

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Reason He's the Man-of-My-Dreams #673

2009-10-01T20:20:00.005-05:00

The big, mean, tough-Man-of-My-Dreams called me today.

He is finishing his out-of-state job tomorrow and coming back home.

The big, mean, tough-guy who doesn't want any more "@#*!^ animals" asked me to bring the big dog crate with me when I come to help him move back home.

It seems that he and all the other big, mean, tough-guys at the construction site have been adopted by a stray dog.

She wandered into the plant one day full of mange, and covered in fleas and ear mites and decided to stay.

Several months and $700 dollars later, she has been spayed, immunized, treated for mange, and is bug free.

She is "Super-Smart" he says.
She needs a "Good Home" he says.
She is a "Really Good Dog" he says.

....interesting, because these are the EXACT same arguments I would have used on him!

Reason #673 he's the Man-of-My-Dreams?
He's a big softy underneath the rough-n-tough shell.

Don't tell anyone though...
It might ruin his rep!

Why I look like this!

2009-09-29T09:46:00.005-05:00

You know...
I used to consider myself a pretty cute gal.
I used to at least LOOK like I had it together.

My hair was "done"..
I used to wear neatly-applied make-up.
My shirts were stain-free.
I had no wrinkles between my eyebrows. (that were neatly plucked by the way!).
I used to speak in complete sentences.
I used to leave my house.
My shoes matched.
My socks matched.

But that was before I had children.
More exactly, that was before I had TEENAGERS!

Now I look like this picture.
I have a perma-look of bewilderment and shock on my face.
I have those deep mean-looking, I'm-gonna-kill-you-wrinkles between my eyebrows.
My hair resembles Medusa more than a fashion model.
I'm wearing stretched-out yoga pants and a baggy T-shirt, Crocks on my feet, and NO jewelry.
My poor saggin-from-birthin-all-them-babies-body is slower and fatter.
My once sharp-as-a-tack mind now spends it's days wondering how in the heck I got here.

It's not time that changed me.
It's not old age settling in.
It's the Teenagers!
The teststerone-filled-snarky-farting, knowing-more-than-me-because-I-am-a-stupid-idiot, teenagers!

The teenagers who do things like THIS.
The teenagers who are convinced that I suddenly am dumber than dirt.
The teenagers who's heads are firmly planted up their girlfriends backside.
The teenagers who eat too much, drive too fast, and fart too smelly.
The teenagers who are taller than me.
The teenagers who think they can use their size as an advantage.
The teenagers who play ,what they call, music too loud.

Can I sue them?
Can I force them to fund my plastic surgery?
Can I at least make them liable for the years and years of therapy that I will most certainly need soon?

Is there a lawyer in the house?
Call me!

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