I want to go HOME

What has happened

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:54:00 +0000

May 28, 2011

When I look back over the last year I never in a million years thought it would be like it is now. We left Virginia a year ago to come back home. I do not know now if it was right or wrong but irregardless we are here now. Over the last year, we have had one child leave us out a window to be with his girlfriend. Over a few months I learned to accept that. They were home for Christmas and everything seemed to be normal. Little did I know that because I wanted to work that my world was about to change forever. Hubby had received a promotion at work shortly after moving and we were doing more things as a family. But our daughter was not happy just meeting people at school she had to meet a guy from a local town. OK I understand you want to fit in but she could not just wait until school started and meet someone there. Over the next few months I figured it would fade but somehow it just got stronger. Then the youngest one starts meeting people the same way. What is wrong with the world today that you can not talk to someone face to face but you can text. We had some rough goings but other than the normal everyday stuff our life seemed to be going pretty good. We bought a new car, taking the kids shopping at the outlet malls and doing extra things because we were now able to. Maybe it was too late, maybe they just didn't care. Who knows. Well, about 3 weeks ago we find out that the creep that my daughter was talking to had been sneaking into our house and having sex with our daughter. Really, how could she. She was only 3 weeks from graduation and the world exploded. We ended throwing her out and not looking back. Now we come to find out we are going to be grandparent. What the heck! I am so mind blown I can hardly stand myself. I can not comprehend what in the world has gone on over the last year. A daughter that I would have done anything in the world for has stabbed me in the back and walked all over me. Someone that I thought I could be proud of, has completely disgraced me. How can I go and watch her walk across the stage at graduation and be a proud mom like I was a year ago. How can I stand there a clap for her for this accomplishment and know that she has fucked up her life and turned our family's life upside down. I really don't know if I can do. I ask God for the ability to forgive her and help her through it but I think it is too late. I just can not get it. I am so hurt and disappointed that this may never go away. Now I have to think of a grand baby. What in the world is in for him. A father that is a deadbeat and will not get a job and a mother that has no comprehension on what the world will do to her. This sucks. Totally sucks. I want to go back to a time when we as a family stuck together no matter what we were going through. I wanted a better life for them and all I got was hurt. Whatever God cruel joke is I hope it is almost over because I am not laughing. Please God help me get through this because I can not do it by myself anymore. My husband is so disappointed that he wants nothing to do with any of it. I want to support her just for the baby but I do not think I can. Where do I go from here. I have a father with Alzheimer and is getting ready to evicted because he is a threat to himself and others. All he keeps saying is that he needs a car and a companion but I just don't see it happening. He does not realize what is going on from day to day not to even think about what he should do. I can only take so much before I hit the end of my rope. And to tell you the truth I am almost there. I have no one to support me in any of my decision making so here I am alone in my sorrow and hoping one day for it all to end. Do I support my daughter and move my father in with us? Or do I just turn a blind eye to everything and let the rest of world work it out? Do I go against my husband request and loose him or do I just leave my child to face the world of being possibly a single mother alone? I just can't make any decisions without loosing something. Please God help me. I can no longer face this alone.

A Year later

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 28 May 2011 14:52:00 +0000

We finally made it home a year ago today. Alot has changed. We had one move back to Virginia to be with his girlfriend and one leave because we had to have her leave because of her actions. We both are working and my dad is no better than to be expected.

One more week

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sun, 23 May 2010 14:27:00 +0000

This time next week we will be on our way HOME! Thank God. I can hardly believe that it has been 7 weeks since hubby left. We must be nuts to be away from each other so long. But our love is stronger than ever and can't wait to see him. Talked to dad last night and he is so excited. I can hear it in his voice. I will be so glad when we are all HOME again. Keep us in your prayers.

Only 10 more days

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Fri, 21 May 2010 00:57:00 +0000

We only have 10 more days until we go HOME. I am so excited. I can hardly wait. Everythingis pretty much packed and ready to go. My dad is excited too. I talked to him tonight and he has a doctors appointment tomorrow for blood work. I am glad that this doctor takes time to explain things to dad. He is already counting the days too. I am glad that he wants me home. Hopefully this will work out for all of us in the long run. God Bless and keep us in your prayers.

What was he thinking

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sun, 16 May 2010 16:52:00 +0000

With only 2 weeks left before the move the oldest one has decided that he would rather return to Virginia and go to a community college. I knwo it is all about a girl but he is throwing his life away. He has the grades that if the applied now he would get in to the winter quarter at Ohio State one of the best colleges in the country. And he wants to go into the medical field. Ok, Ohio State is one of the top colleges for medical. What is he thinking? He is not. Please God just tell me it will be ok.I just hope that he will change his mind before he turns 18 because the girlfriend is only 16 and all heck can break loose. His father is ready to kill him and I don't want that to happen. I just want my family back HOME!!

So Much To Do....

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Thu, 13 May 2010 23:15:00 +0000

Well, here we are 2 weeks from the move. I am trying to get this house ready to move out of while hubby is getting measurements and getting the new one to move into. And at the same time feeling alittle emotional. While we are in the middle of a move, the oldest one is so confused. He is graduating in 2 weeks and still has not decided on what to do afterwards. I feel for the kid but it is own fault. He knows deep down inside what he wants but has a girlfriend that is infuluencing him. Hopefully, while he is in Ohio with us it will all come to him and he will make the right decision. If not then he is the one who will have to suffer the consequences. Oh well. I am just happy to be going HOME to take care of my father and have friends and family around me again. I am miserable here except for the people I work with. They are like a second family to me.Wish us luck and keep us in your prayers.

Finally a house!!

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Wed, 12 May 2010 00:52:00 +0000

We finally found a house! Thank God! We are coming HOME!

No House Yet

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Mon, 10 May 2010 23:58:00 +0000

With less than 3 weeks to go we still do not have a house or place to live once we get to Ohio. I don't know what we are going to do. All the boxes are packed and the house is down to the bare necessities. I am totally frustrated. Every one that we have looked at and liked we have had to fill out an application and wait to hear from the people. We can't wait much longer. I have already put my notice in at work and told the landlord here that we are leaving the end of the month. I am so frustrated. And to top it off, our oldest one, that I thought had his plan in order, has changed it completely because of a girl. Please God help me. I can't take much more stress.

Hopefully will have house

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Fri, 07 May 2010 14:28:00 +0000

Hopefully this will be the day that we get our house. Hubby is meeting with the gentleman at 6pm tonight. I pray that we get it. And then I will feel better about moving. Please pray for us in our journey home.

3 1/2 Weeks left

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Thu, 06 May 2010 00:17:00 +0000

With only 3 1/2 weeks left we are finally getting things together. Hubby ended up with 3 cars last week and made some money in the process. We think we found a house. We will know definitely on Friday when hubby gets to see the inside. Please pray that everything turns out alright. The house is only 6 minutes from dad and has a fenced in backyard for the dogs. Just when I am getting ready to leave we are working entire weeks again. Isn't that always the way things go? Oh well, just more money for moving home. Things are going better but we are still not confident on things so continue to keep us in your prayers. God Bless us all.

Four Weeks To Go

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 01 May 2010 00:32:00 +0000

With only 4 weeks to go, we are still not sure of where we are going to live. I have called on several houses but it is hard to find someone that will take pets. It will come. With the grace of God it will come. Hubby has finally decided on where he is going to work. He is going to stay where he is at. Thank God. He has sold 2 cars and waiting on a 3rd so he is making money.
Dad is doing better. He met another lady today that wants to go fishing with him. Finally someone that just wants to do simple things. That is what dad needs. He doesn't have a whole lot of money but still wants to go out. Maybe, with the grace of God, things are finally starting to turn around. Please keep us in your prayers that from here on out it as smooth as possibly can be.

Bad News

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:20:00 +0000

Dad got a phone call today that was distrubing to me. His prostate doctor called and said that his count is high so they want him to get hormone shots for the next couple of months to see if they can bring it down. I don't understand it but ok. So I got him directions to the office and he seemed to understand them lets just hope he can find it ok. Hubby is doing ok at his job but still not sure of it. I hope he is ok with it we only have 4 1/2 weeks left. It seems to be going faster now. Before long we will be HOME hopefully.

Bad Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 21:10:00 +0000

Well, it was a bad weekend. Not for me or hubby just dad. His memory seems to be getting worse. Plus the fact that he is eating something that is making him run to the bathroom. I am just glad that hubby is there to keep an eye on him. My poor father could not remember one of his favorite restaurants and what he ate. I am so glad that we are only 5 weeks away from going home. Please keep us in your prayers.

Getting Closer

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:12:00 +0000

I guess today I realized how close it is really getting to going home. Hubby got a new job and is really excited. I am glad but I still feel like I should be doing something. It is hard to be 400 miles away and not be by his side. I guess I didn't realize how hard it would be. I miss him so much but this is what we need to do.

Talked to dad last night and he was having a rough day. He said that he was in the kitchen and heard something make a crashing sound and it was his glasses He said that the glass in them just broke. Now he has to go and get new lenses that will cost him a couple of hundred to get. With his income he just doesn't have the extra. I hope he can work something out. I know it is rough on dad trying to keep things straight and I hope us being there will make it a little easier. Hubby says that he will go check on him and make sure everything is fine but it not like being there.

The oldest one got his cap and gown yesterday. The days seem to be flying by for him now. But his has also realized that after this the real world starts. I feel bad for him because he has just realized that now he has to make decisions on his own and it is difficult. I know he will be ok but as a mother you worry.

Another Weekend gone

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 00:37:00 +0000

Another weekend has passed and it brings us one more week closer to moving HOME. I wish the time would go by faster. Dad is getting by but I will feel so much better whn I can be there to ask the doctor questions. As the days pass I can't help but think about how much has changed over the last 10 years. But hopefully for the better and all will be ok.

Time

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:24:00 +0000

The time is going by so slow now. I thought that once hubby got to Ohio that it would start moving faster and now it seems to just stand still. The house seems so lonely when I am home by myself. I guess it will all be for the better when we all get HOME. Hubby doesn't know if he really likes his job yet but at least he is working and can still look elsewhere. Dad is doing good and is glad that hubby is working and trying to find a house. It is still hard because of our animals and I am not getting rid of my dog even if I didn't just spend 400.00 on her because someone hit her with their car and drove away. I guess one will turn up when we are supposed to find it. Wish us luck and keep us in your prayers. I only worked 5 hours this week and it doesn't look like I am going to work any more this week anyways. Oh well, such is life. I can wait to get back HOME.

Quiet Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 11:50:00 +0000

It was a very quite Sunday around here. Trying to keep busy and get the house cleaned. But other than that it was uneventful. I got to spend time with the kids and then the oldest one was off to work. Hubby looked at another house and said it was OK but if we find something else it would be alright too. We still have plenty of time to look. He starts work today and I hope he has a good day. It is hard being away from him and trying to get things in order. I have another day off of work and am not sure when I will work this week. I just hope things start going our way instead of being in the dark all the time. God please bless us and keep us all safe.

Still Looking

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 23:59:00 +0000

Hubby is still looking for a house. But I know it is going to take time being that we have pets. I don't care I am not giving up my animals I have too much money invested in them. He is very excited about starting his job Monday though which is great.

Dad is doing good. He got out of the house today and got some running done. I am glad that hubby is there to watch after him too.

49 days to go

Prom Night

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 12:25:00 +0000

The oldest one went to prom last night. He looked so handsome. I can't believe that my baby is grown up enough to wear a tuxedo and go to prom. I guess this is the end of a long journey for him. Just around the corner is graduation and then shortly afterwards going off to college. Where has the time gone. Talked to dad last night and he was so surprised that it is almost time to come HOME. I am getting excited too. Hubby starts work on Monday so he is going to start looking for houses today. Hopefully he has some luck. We are going to spend the day together, me and the kids, just hanging out.

50 days to go

Exciting News

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:05:00 +0000

Well, today hubby called me at work to inform me that after one day of job searching he has a job. He gets to start on Monday. That is great news. Now that he has a job we can start looking for a house. He says that he is going to start looking tomorrow. He made a valid point you don't want to look for a place to live and tell someone that you are just moving back to the area and don't have a job.

More good news dad may have found us a house. He said that a friend of his knows of a 3 bedroom older house that will allow us to have pets. He is going to get me more details and get back to me or tell hubby about it.

Dad is in a good mood today again. He was watching Tiger Woods playing golf again. He loves watching golf and would like to play again. Hopefully he can get back into it.

The oldest one went today to pick up his tuxedo. Can't wait to see him in it. Hard to believe in less than 2 months he will be graduating. Where has the time gone. My baby is all grown up. He had to work tonight and their father said that I can't tell any of them about his job until he talks to them all at once. So I told him I would call him once they were all here. It may finally get going on the right track for a change. Something will go wrong it always does. I am prepared for it. Please God let it be smooth from here on out. Keep us in your prayers.
50 days to go

Another Day Another Drama

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 23:03:00 +0000

Talked to dad last night and he went to the prostate doctor. They said that everything was fine which is always good news. Hubby went for job interviews today and they all looked promising. He said that he might have a pick of where he wants to work which would be great. I worked all day yesterday and again today. There should be enough there for me to work all day tomorrow also. I am glad that it is finally picking up but is just a little too late for me to stay. Dad needs me to help take care of things back home. He is still active and going out with friends but I can tell he really wants me there to help with the bills that need to be paid and balancing his checkbook. I want to be there for him too. Well not too much longer. I pray that hubby will be able to start working soon and find us a house. Oh well prom is Friday and the oldest one is happy. Can't wait to see him in a tuxedo. Graduation is 51 days away. It is going faster now. Wish us luck.

The Start

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 00:10:00 +0000

Hubby left today at 3pm. It is the beginning of the long journey apart to get HOME. I hope we can do this. It has been hard on me. I miss him so much because for the 18 years we have been married we have not lived apart for more than a couple of days. This is going to be 6 weeks. I know we can do it but it is something we are going to have to get used to. Dad is looking forward to him being around though. At least now when he has a question hubby can go and see what he is talking about. I took the day off today to spend with hubby so I am back to work tomorrow. Thank godness.
54 Days to go.

Happy Easter

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 20:27:00 +0000

Happy Easter everyone hope it was nice. Ours was uneventful except for the fact that the 2 oldest ones have to work today and hubby is leaving tomorrow evening to go and get started. I am going to worry about him driving by himself. I don't recall him ever driving the 400 mile trip by himself. I know he will be ok though. He has to go so he can go to his interviews and get things started for us to move HOME. Dad is doing better and he didn't know where he was going to go today. I will call him later this evening and wish him Happy Easter and see how he is doing. When I talked to him last he was just enjoing the weather and getting out of the house. I guess with the weather his spirits lifted too. It is hard to tell when it will be a bad day but for now I will enjoy the good ones.

Its a Good Good Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 00:27:00 +0000

Dad has had a good couple of days. He went out with his friend the other night and has been in a good mood ever since. I am glad. He said that he would help by getting hubby some pants and shirts for him to start work. Hubby is thinking of leaving Monday evening so he can get a head start on work. I am glad everything is finally starting to work out.

Nice Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Just Want to go HOME) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 23:22:00 +0000

Dad had a nice night last night. He got to go out with a friend of his last night and he enjoyed himself. I am glad. His doctor told him that he is going to give him something because his ears are itching but he also recommended him to an ear-nose-throat doctor. They sent him some papers and he doesn't want to go. I told him that if he didn't want to go then he didn't have too. He was in a really good mood that is always good for me. I got to work today for 6 hours and working tomorrow for 3 hours. Then we are off until at least Monday. I can't believe that it has gotten this slow. I sure hope it picks up by next couple of weeks. I can't wait to go HOME.
59 Days left