Chalk and Cheese

WTF

2016-02-27T06:20:00.000-08:00

WTF

Me Before You -Trailer

2016-02-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

Me Before You -Trailer
Upcoming American romantic drama film based on the 2012 novel of the same name by Jojo Moyes. The film stars Emilia Clarke, Sam Claflin,

Jenna Coleman, Charles Dance,Matthew Lewis, Ben Lloyd-Hughes and Janet McTeer.
It's scheduled to be released by Warner Bros. on June 3, 2016.
Lovely Trailer- check it out below

Kate Winslet( Rose, Titanic) : Jack could have lived

2016-02-04T07:34:00.001-08:00

Kate Winslet( Rose, Titanic) : Jack could have lived

Check out Kate Winslet(Rose) on Jimmy Kimmel's show, confirming what some of us had always believed that :

Leo ( Jack) could have actually fitted on that Titanic door raft - along with her- instead of freezing to death in the icy water.

The comments below the article inspired the pics. Please scroll through them all....and enjoy! 😅😂

Kate on Jimmy Kimmel's show 3 days ago

Jack did try to get on, but the door raft toppled, threatening to tip Rose in, some did not risk it.

So, whether he would fit may have been irrelevant

Basically - as a man - he had to die! *sighs*

(On the other hand, you have to question if that door would still have floated with two of them on top. Space is not the only issue.)

Pix 2 shows ways in which they both could have shared that door raft 😏😟

Some think It doesn't matter that he would have fitted. That door would not have had enough buoyancy to stay up with both of them on it.

Pix 3- Wait! Was James Cameron in the water too? 😀😃😇

Speaking to the Guardian’s Hadley Freeman (on the question of why Jack had to die) in 2012, Director James Cameron also cited another reason for Jack’s fate: dramatic expediency.

"Wait a minute,” he said, “I’m going to call up William Shakespeare and ask why Romeo and Juliet had to die.”

Err, James, ....

Why did Romeo and Juliet have to die? ( pix 2)

Because Romeo killed Tybalt ( pix 1 ) and was banished from Verona so Juliet faked her own death to be with him but the message didn't make it to Romeo who then killed himself out of grief after which Juliet woke up and found Romeo dead and then killed herself out of grief as well.

Why did Jack have to die?

Some door( raft! ) 😏😏🙄

Check out the spin in this explanation of why Jack had to die in the movie, Titanic 😎😅

No, he has to die! - as Zizek explains:

"Is Cameron's Titanic really about the catastrophe of the ship hitting the ice-berg? One should be attentive to the precise moment of the catastrophe: it takes place when the two young lovers (Leonardo di Caprio and Kate Winslett), immediately after consummating their amorous link in the sexual act, return to the ship's deck. This, however, is not all: if this were all, then the catastrophe would have been simply the punishment of Fate for the double transgression (illegitimate sexual act; crossing the class divisions).

What is more crucial is that, on the deck, Kate passionately says to her lover that, when the ship will reach New York the next morning, she will leave with him, preferring poor life with her true love to the false corrupted life among the rich; at THIS moment the ship hits the ice-berg, in order to PREVENT what would undoubtedly have been the TRUE catastrophe, namely the couple's life in New York - one can safely guess that soon, the misery of everyday life would destroy their love.

The catastrophe thus occurs in order to safe their love, in order to sustain the illusion that, if it were not to happen, they would have lived "happily forever after"...

But even this is not all; a further clue is provided by the final moments of di Caprio. He is freezing in the cold water, dying, while Winslet is safely floating on a large piece of wood; aware that she is losing him, she cries: "I'll never let you go!", and, while saying this, she pushes him away with her hands - why?

Beneath the story of a love couple, Titanic tells another story, the story of a spoiled high-society girl in an identity-crisis: she is confused, doesn't know what to do with herself, and, much more than her love partner, di Caprio is a kind of "vanishing mediator" whose function is to restore her sense of identity and purpose in life, her self-image (quite literally, also: he draws her image); once his job is done, he can disappear.

This is why his last words, before he disappears in freezing North Atlantic, are not the words of a departing lover's, but, rather, the last message of a preacher, telling her how to lead her life, to be honest and faithful to herself, etc.

What this means is that Cameron's superficial Hollywood-Marxism (his all too obvious privileging of the lower classes and caricatural depiction of the cruel egotism and opportunism of the rich) should not deceive us: beneath this sympathy for the poor, there is another narrative, the profoundly reactionary myth, first fully deployed by Kipling's Captain Courageous, of a young rich person in crisis who gets his (or her) vitality restored by a brief intimate contact with the full-blooded life of the poor. What lurks behind the compassion for the poor is their vampiric exploitation."

Titanic survival by gender ...

Women

Total: 434

Died: 110

Survived: 324

% Survived: 75%

Men

Total: 1680

Died: 1357

Survived: 323

% Survived: 19%

So obviously a gender based policy in operation - for some reason they felt men were less worthy of life than women. Hundred years on, nothing new on that! 😋

Interesting that in the days before Feminism it was a case of "Women and Children first!" into the lifeboats.

Today it would probably be a case of "Every person for themselves!"

Equality is a good thing.

Chivalry.Is.Dead!!😇😋🙂

Pix 1 ( Jack in first class) and Pix 2 ( Rose in belly of the ship, 3rd class) won't have happened in real life!:

The whole story was bunk. The ship was heavily segregated and Jack would probably not have even been allowed on deck. He and Rose would never have met. The snobbery of the Yank toffs would never have allowed them to mix. He would never have been invited to dine. Complete bunk from beginning to end

One of the comments : "I travelled on the Empress of Canada in May 1970 and it was too flaming cold to stand on the prow of the ship in a filmy outfit. As for sneaking into first class, you'd have had to kill several stewards who were employed to keep us, the riff-raff, out of the rarified atmosphere of upper class. And we would have been kicked off the makeshift raft very speedily regardless of any hot relationship with an upper class twat! 😄😊"

Given their exposure to gallons of freezing water even before they went overboard ( remember when Rose had to go back to save a handcuffed Jack? ) , they both should have died.

In reality Rose would not have lasted very long before dying of hypothermia also. She had been drenched in freezing water and then lay exposed to the wind on that door. The combination of wet and wind is deadly

It wouldnt have ended happily ever after anyway, Rose would've gotten knocked up ( pix 1 ) and Jack would've gotten on the drink, before losing his labouring job. One day he'd have said he's going out to get milk and never would've come back ( he'd have ended up with his bevy of never-ending bimbos 😂 pix 2 ) . Rose would've ended up a street walker ( pix 4) and her children ended up at a orphanage ( pix 3 ).

The Romeo/ Juliet real life analogy-

There is a very good reason why Leo's character had to die or for that matter Romeo too. Because if they didn't then the couple would have to actually live together. Divorce would follow in a couple of years, after which Juliet would declare that she never really loved him; Romeo would confess that the sex stopped after 9 months and it had become tedium quite a bit before that; and that all Juliet ever wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch the jesters, while spending him money on her sisters and her mother, to him she had become indistinguishable from a sofa ornament.

Another comment : "It was a stupid movie. OK I was prepared to forgive, for reasons of dramatic license, them managing to get access to one another at all, or running through the engine rooms or accessing the cargo hold and having sex in a car... but really. The stupidest part of all, was Rose throwing the priceless jewel into the sea. 😡Absolutely ridiculous.

And not an ounce of remorse as Rose the elder throws the broach into the Atlantic, heartless old cow 🙂

I hate that movie🙄

One guesses that "Rose" lived her whole life like that - using men to get ahead, and disposing of them like a female preying mantis 🙄😳

Apt response: it's a movie, you don't have to ruin it by trying to make it some sort of technically perfect reality. Laugh, cry, applaud or walk the hell out and let everyone else enjoy having their imaginations taken for a stroll

Movies are magic, let go and enjoy them to the fullest. A lot of people went to a lot of trouble to make you cry (or laugh), so you better respect that

Sit all the way up front so no one can see, and cry your eyes out! ( or laugh yourself to stupor - as the case may be)

There's a bit with tits that's quite good, other than that it's rubbish 😂😀

Titanic 2 : Jack is Back!

Whatever you do, make sure you watch this fan-produced trailer of the sequel ( that never was! ) Absolutely brilliant! 😎😎😀

😃🙂

Person A- All he had to do was stand up and get out of the pool!

Person B- Time to shoot and release a 'Titanic: Alternate Ending' for the 20th anniversary.

Person C - What happened to the cameraman?

Person D- He got a posthumous Oscar😂😀😃😅

DiCaprio had to die. He was awful in the Titanic! 🙄

But in death, he was reborn as a fantastic actor.😎

It was a MOVIE, folks. 😀😊

They fished Leonardo DiCaprio out of the water, paid him handsomely for his work, and — as of last report — he's still alive, some 104 years later.😀😀

Then a bear raped him. 😂😃 ( The Revenant)

For art. 😃

Why bother saving him when he was only going to end up getting raped by a bear?

Because he will get an Oscar for it.🙂

Violet Constance Jessop (2 October 1887 – 5 May 1971) was an ocean liner stewardess and nurse who achieved fame by surviving the disastrous sinkings of both the RMS Titanic and her sister ship, the HMHS Britannic, in 1912 and 1916 respectively. In addition, she had been on board the RMS Olympic, their other sister ship, when it collided with the protected cruiser HMS Hawke in 1911.

As you can see, she died at the ripe old age of 83

Water death? Not todayyy!!! 😅

Not the sort of person you'd want to get in a boat with then!!! 😋😀

The Meek Mill-Drake beef continues

2016-02-01T12:21:00.000-08:00

The Meek Mill-Drake beef continues

Origin- Meek accuses Drake of being inauthentic, of using a Ghost writer ( Quentin Miller) late last year
Drake responded with a diss song - Back to Back
Meek's response was weak

Social media felt that Drake had literally ended Meek's Rap career back then

Drake's 'Summer Sixteen' dropped at 7 pm yesterday ( it was a diss song directed at Meek, Kanye West....even Obama) link

Meek Mill's 'War pain' dropped at 7:20 pm ( 20 mins later!! ) link

This is where it gets really interesting!!

Meek references multiple lines from Summer Sixteen.

Eg Drake said "...“I used to wanna be on Rocafella then I turned into Jay”
Meek's responded in his song thus "And you claimin' you HOV now? Why you state that shit?"

That meant that Meek either heard Drake’s song a while ago ( likely) or he magically put his verse together in a few minutes, mastered it, and released it in a 20 minutes span- while at a B/ball game with Nicki Minaj!! ( impossible)

Inference- Drake might really be a fraud!
How is it possible that Meek Mill mocks lines in a song Drake dropped 20 mins earlier?
1. It appears that the dude Drake uses Ghostwriters for real

2. Meek probably know’s all of Drake's ghostwriters.

( He definitely knew Quentin Miller)

3. He probably just paid whoever wrote 'Summer 16' for Drake more than Drake paid the guy to write the verse… Money Talks!!

4. The general consensus was that Meek Mill won this Round hands down!! Drake's credibility is on the line here. Nicki Minaj's boyfriend is literally back from the dead ( back from Rapper's graveyard )

Unlike Drake, Meek genuinely did start from the bottom. (Stop playin' nigga, we came from nothin'- was the last line in War Pain)

I mean, how can you hate on a dude that came from this (see video) to one of the biggest stars in the game (Nicki Minaj)

2016-01-27T09:07:00.000-08:00

Chelsea's Ramires joins Chinese Club

It's official: Ramires has joined Chinese Super League Club, Jiangsu Suning
His achievements & most memorable goals are in the pix & video above respectively
Thanks for the memories, 'Blue Kenyan'
All the best

The Japanese Vaginal Stick

2016-01-25T17:48:00.000-08:00

The Japanese vaginal stick

Original article

This article fascinates me because:

1. of my OB-GYN background

2. of it's play with words

''....Inserting things into vaginas to make them “tighter” isn’t so unusual. The belief stems from a practice to “dry out” the vagina—which seems, uh, not fun? The theory goes that a dry, non-lubricated vagina results in painful penetration and spasms, which will “tighten the vaginal opening.”

In fact, according to a PLOS One study, women have inserted everything from herbs, bleach, and even pulverized rock in their vaginas.
All in an effort to obtain the holy grail of vaginas: the dry, sandy, vagina. Yikes!!

gasp emoticon grin emotof vaginas: the dry, sandy, vagina. Yikes!! gasp emoticon

A vagina full of pulverized rock you say? It gives “dry-humping” a whole new meaning. smile emoticon
If you are really worried about a loose vagina, go for Kegel exercises instead:Kegel

The conclusion:
“Vaginas should be wet and they should stretch. That’s part of what makes them fun. (spoken like an OB-GYN smile emoticon ) So please don’t get the Japanese vagina stick

Perspectives 3- for the football Aficionado

2015-02-21T04:18:00.001-08:00

Perspectives 3- for the football Aficionado

Serie A

Pirlo- rolled back the years once again yesterday with a 30-yard match-winning beauty against Atalanta

He is key to the Biaconeri's success in midweek, against Dortmund in the CL

Juventus were far from impressive in that match and they've shown a tendency to concede from set-pieces in recent times ( they did again yesterday, to allow Atalanta take the lead against the run of play) They are also susceptible during counter-attacks

So, expect Reus and Aubamayang to harrass and harry Pirlo and the CBs, Bonucci and Chiellini

Max Allegri's 4-3-1-2 formation means that Pirlo can easily be the source of their midfield/counter attack vulnerability. Pirlo can also look bad when he has no one to pass to. ( see photo 1)

This is why fans prefer Caceres and Padoin at FBs. They actually play like FBs rather than Lichtsteiner and Evra who think they’re WBs/wide mids and often play the positions too advanced. Not only does this shore up defense but it means the midfielders/Pirlo are not isolated with no one to pass to.

For this formation to be perfect against Dortmund, Pereyra has to play behind the strikers. That way, you get creative attacking width through him because he moves around up there and drifts wide

( to find out why Allegri ditched his predecessor, Conte's 3-5-2 and adopted 4-3-1-2 to accommodate the vital Pirlo, the tactical formation- inclined can check out this article)

Pogba and Tevez have to raise their games too ( they've been lukewarm recently ) and Moratta has to pair Tevez up front ( although Llorente scored ( a scrappy goal) yesterday, he looks like a poor fit up front- that has been the story of his season so far )

Bundesliga

Dortmund- it appears as if they have broken through that mental block! They are now 10th after their 3rd consecutive victory. To understand how well they are playing -particularly in attack- check out this Gundogan goal ( their second, in a 3-2 victory against Stuggart yesterday) it's a thing of beauty.

They are still vulnerable in defence though ( Sahin should have been sent off for preventing a clear goal-scoring opportunity. Dortmund conceded the first goal from the resultant penalty though), this is why their match against Juve in Turin, on Tuesday is difficult to call

Hear Gundogan expressing sympathy for the hapless Stuttgart : " we were bottom ourselves a couple of weeks ago. It's not a nice situation. The head is willing but the body doesn't respond" That has to be the quote of the week :D

Bayern

How do you solve a problem like Xabi

Bayern have been poor travellers of late.

It appears that if you target Xabi Alonso by man-marking him, combining a high press defence while simultaneously maintaining deep structured defensive lines, you neutralise their build-up play and render their attack flaccid ( it worked at Wolfsburg, Schalke and Shakhtar recently) Xabi got sent off in that Shaktar game too! :-(

He is not a very mobile player, hence his game is stifled with this approach and his good passing ability is limited to ineffective sideways and backward passes.

Or perhaps Schweinsteiger just cramps Alonso's style and both shouldn't be playing at the same time. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that Xabi ran the show for the first 3 months in Bayern, but since Schweini came back from injury, Xabi's performance has dipped.

La Liga

Barca

I'm not going to bore you with the news ( maybe I should) that Leo Messi is on course to break his 91 goals a season record set in 2012.

The signs look 'ominous' too!:

1. He has 5 more goals than he did at this stage back then ( 14 vs 9 )

2. He's working hard ( getting back earlier than others to training after a break)

3. CR7 winning his 3rd Ballon D'Or is enough motivation for the vertically-challenged one :-)

4. There is Copa America this summer ( he didn't have this 'luxury' to add to his tally in that record-breaking year!! )

The search for Xavi's replacement

Rakitic has done well, but he's no Xavi. Oliver Torres might be a perfect fit. He is like a Xavi incarnate. Check out this article for more

Real Madrid

It was a solid yet oddly uncomfortable win for Real in midweek ( vs Schalke )

It's a step in the right direction though following their recent slump. The real buzz after that game was Lucas Silva's performance in the middle. The young lad was solid -considering this was his first full game. There are already talks that he is an upgrade to Khedira and Illaramendi. Time will tell

EPL

Arsenal-

For Wilshere to return, Ramsey had to be injured. The two cannot simultaneously play in the centre of midfield. It's Murphy's Law of Averages regarding Injuries in Arsenal's Midfield. :-)

If he plays, ( very likely) will he be disciplined enough to smartly choose his moments to join the attack, and to protect Coquelin in the pivot? This is the big question in Wenger's recent romance with the counter-attacking 4-1-4-1 formation. We might find out soon, starting with Crystal Palace today

Man Utd

LVG's men aren't very good, but at least they're annoying people again.

Why?

It's called the Hot Piss Paradox:

The knowledge that your team and, by extension, you have gotten away with it, and everybody is really annoyed with that. It is what Man Utd has been doing all season- the play ain't sh*t but they keep getting decent results.

Why Hot Piss Paradox? 'Cos rolling around in hot piss is literally a terrible idea, but metaphorically great fun, it seems! Ask a tantrum-throwing kid :D

We'll see if this streak continues at Swansea. Both Phil a Jones and RVP are available after short injury lay offs

Man City

Much of the talk is whether Bony will make his City debut vs Newcastle this weekend. Toure should start though and I suspect Pellegrini will keep Bony on the subs bench and start with the same line up that will face Barca in midweek- with Silva playing just behind Aguero in a 4-4-1-1 modification of the traditional 4-4-2 set up

Liverpool

Mario Balotelli tweeted about "Penalty-gate" : "Thank you hendo for let me take the penalty. Stop drama now." Apart from the slight grammar challenge, that seems like some pretty good advice. Let’s stop the drama. Now! :D

Chelsea

We are in a unique and enviable position ( and I'm not talking about the all season- long OATT status :P ) when it comes to goalkeepers. Check out this article for what we think about the Courtois/Cech situation

Scottish Championship

Stan Collymore has been fired from his job as a BT Pundit

It follows his demand that Rangers’ games should not be televised because of sectarian singing by their fans, citing references in songs to "Fenian blood".

(These are "Billy Boys" songs- composed in the 1930s

"Billy Boys" were a Protestant street gang in Glasgow led by Billy Fullerton in the 1920s

Rangers fans adopted their songs when this gang started attending games)

Collymore wrote a series of tweets about the matter. One said: "I can hold my head high and say I did the right thing to challenge hypocrisy amongst Rangers fans"

These songs were eventually banned by the Scottish Govt & the SFA in 2011 'cos of the "Up to our knees in Fenian blood" line in it

Fenian- the Fenian Brotherhood is a fraternal organisation dedicated to the establishment of an independent Irish Republic in the 19th and early 20th century.

These are Catholics. Rangers and its fans are Protestants. I hope you get the vibes now

Collymore chose the wrong medium ( Twitter) in my opinion and BT were within their rights to fire him. Why Twitter? What's the point?

Finally, a word on racism in football:

Andi Thomas makes a lot of sense in this article

"Football in general, and football fans in particular, can't persuade a racist not to be a racist. And a sport, and the people who follow that sport, cannot dismantle a system of discrimination and oppression that has existed for centuries and continues to exist, even though it's no longer acceptable to stand on the terraces and lob darts at the nearest black head. What football and football fans can do, however, is work together to make the game as safe a space as possible for everybody, at the same time as wider society works towards the same ends"

This is the kind of discussion I want to be having on these issues- Racism & Sectarianism- not the ( in my opinion) "your club has more racists than mine" mindless, waste of brain function psychobabble that sometimes happen in some fora

It is what it is

Posted with Blogsy

Chelsea 1 vs Everton 0: Three Massive Points

2015-02-12T11:56:00.001-08:00

Chelsea 1 vs Everton 0

3 words: Three Massive Points

Oscar didn't feature for this one. Official reason- injury. I'd love to think it might be related to his poor performance recently. Willian was on the left wing , Cuadrado was on right and Hazard was the No 10 with the free role behind Remy. Cech replaced Courtois in goal and Zouma got the nod ahead of Cahill

This victory was by no means easy

It might have been a much more straightforward night if the referee, Moss, had seen Naismith use an arm to lever the ball away from Cuadrado as they challenged one another inside the penalty area with only four minutes gone.

Matic was bullish from the first minute, Willian had his curler superbly saved by an inspired Tim Howard who was returning from injury. Hazard missed a vital touch in front of Howard which could have resulted in a goal. Cuadrado was lively and played with a lot of understanding with the front trio of Hazard, Willian and Remy

We should have been out of sight by half time. We showed much invention but lacked a killer touch and the final ball was often poor

We were almost punished by Everton when Barkley put Lukaku in the clear. He took the shot early, hoping to catch Cech out, but the keeper dealt with it by extending a leg and knocks it out for a corner with his boot.

O Chelsea, where is thy sting?

The second half continued in the same vein with Chelsea trying to break down a stubborn Everton defence without much joy. Howard appeared to have watched the video of his massive display in that World Cup game against Belgium, Stones and Jagielka were immense in the Toffees' defence

Fabregas for Cuadrado, Drogba for Remy happened in the 72nd min

Everton were beginning to fancy their chances of actually nicking all the points. In the 70th min, from a corner, McCarthy played a fine reverse pass out to Oviedo on the left who fizzed a cross through the six-yard box. Lukaku made the run, got his foot on it at point-blank range ( it should have been a goal) but Cech saved superbly with his leg ( heard he was a handball goalie in his previous life! )

In the 87th min, Hazard turned a pass back to Matic 20 yards out who scooped it past Howard and into the net. Goal! ....No!! :-( Chelsea celebrated but the flag was up and it was a fine decision from the linesman because the shot hit Ivanovic on the shoulder on the way past Howard and he was a yard offside.

It was going to be one of those nights where we are frustrated despite our better possession and drop two points. But da Silva Willian had not read that script. A well struck half volley nestled in the back of the net ( after taking a slight deflection from Steven Naismith) in the 89th min ! Goal!

The goal came a moment after Barry was sent off for a second yellow for a hack at Willian. Both Ivanovic and McCarthy were booked from the ensuing melee- during which Ivanovic did a quasi-headbutt where his head kisses the opponent's forehead rather than genuinely smacking it.

My thoughts

How cool was the music during the entrance of the players on to the the pitch, dimmed lights and all?

We were in cruise control for most of this game but forgot to work the gears and hit the accelerator. It didn't matter at the end

Willian was immense yet again, with his work rate and general play

He has really upped the ante in his game in the last 3 weeks. I'm sure the Cuadrado purchase has something to do with it.

While everybody including the fans were panicking, he was probably singing this:

. "E Farabale o emi ni Baale o, t'e ba dobale o , e ma kaa nle o! " ( Baale Baale by Pope ft Reminisce )

The Toffees they were so tight...

but Willian he showed us light

(I hope you saw what I did there? )

Everton fans had probably started talking about 1 point nicked and a clean sheet. Willian said "Were there dragons in that fairy tale?"

Kurt Zouma really looks like a long-term answer at centre back, doesn't he? It's hard to find too much to complain about with the way he's been playing of late.

Zouma Stats:

87% Pass Completed

1 Chance Created

5 Ball Recoveries

2/2 Tackles

5/5 Clearances

4/4 Headed Clearances

3/5 Aerial Duels

Booyakasha

He's only been with Chelsea for a week but Juan Cuadrado looked like he had a pretty good understanding with his attacking teammates.

Matic was in full beastmode tonight. He controlled that midfield like a boss!

His attack take-Ons ( 7 of 7 successful. By the way, that's 100%! )

Loic Remy was poor today. There was a lot of effort, but he just never seemed to be on the same page as his teammates with his runs-particularly in the box.

Costa would have been at the end of one or two of those crosses into the Everton box.

That Petr Cech save tho!.......Divine!!

9 out of 10 times that nestles in the back of the net

Lukaku was like...."Whoa, what happened there?"

Cech now has 167 clean sheets, just 3 short of David James' 170 record

Pix 4: Cech be like: "Courtois, give me my place back"

Branislav Ivanovic was probably offside for the disallowed goal, but it's hard to feel like that should have been called given the obvious handball mistake early on. Jose Mourinho should be happy, shouldn't he?

Pix 4- Diego Costa's reaction when he learnt Man City were leading 4-1 at Stokes:

It's called the Diego Shrug, it actually means- Zero Fux Given

Interviewer asks Mourinho: "Did you see the Ivanovic incident where it was believed…" Replies…."What?" with a screwface….after the interviewer repeats the question, José simply replies "Don’t make me laugh." Classic!!

Chelsea left it late but we're still 7 points clear at the top.

Awesome!

Posted with Blogsy

Mauricio Pochettino's Spurs : Purple patch or The Real Deal

2015-02-07T22:44:00.001-08:00

Mauricio Pochettino's Spurs : Purple patch or The Real Deal

We hardly see narratives from a Spurs perspective over here ( for obvious reasons..they don't have fans on this Blog!. )

I feel obliged to do one after what I saw yesterday ( Spurs 2 -Arsenal 1 )

Arsène Wenger has seen many Spurs sides come and go, but few have outplayed Arsenal so thoroughly as Mauricio Pochettino’s did yesterday.

Arsenal were pinned down and pushed around. Spurs haven't done that to Arsenal very often in recent times. But it was lovely to see ( at least as a Chelsea fan :-) )

Spurs -Kyle Walker ( played like Cafu, he left Ozil and the Arsenal left wing for dead in many occasions with pace) Danny Rose complemented him on the right. Ryan Mason ( probably ran Kane close for MoTM. Thanks F.O. For making me more aware of him before the game) he was all-action-hero in defensive midfield and with the equally impressive Nabil Bentaleb, they totally bossed Arsenal in the middle of the park.

Moussa Dembele seems to have regained his self belief and ability to impact matches. It's a shame he can't score though (Poche might be waving his magic wand on that aspect of his game too) He has totally changed from holding midfielder and deep passer to ‘destroyer’ No. 10. He led the high press, which is a feature of the new Spurs, pretty well. This switch suits his strengths much better and credit to Pochettino for recognizing that.

Lamela is improving too

I thought Eriksen, who has frequently been their match winner this season, had a strangely subdued game

Nacer Chadli, who had a great game against Chelsea, is also a good player even though he only had some minutes yesterday.

All that is left is to get Soldado scoring again

Big Daddy Kane...nah, scratch that..:-) ....Harry Kane - I can't speak highly enough of this dude. 22 goals in all competitions, 12 already in the league, and he wasn't the main striker at the beginning of this season!.....He looks like the Real Deal

The icing on the cake is that he looks like someone who just seems to be enjoying everything.

Check out his one man single lap of honour after the game yesterday: He left the rest of the team and went off to the South Stand (where some of the most hardcore Spurs supporters sit) and the cameras followed him around the ground on that glory lap from there. There was no commentary and the feeling was intense, it was beautiful

Pochettino is building a beast at Tottenham, but he's making great use of the resources developed within Spurs academy ranks ( their latest acquisition is Dele Alli, who looks like another class act in the middle )

I don't think this is just a purple patch, I think it is something to really be worried about by the traditional top 4 ( judging by his antecedents at Southampton )

Time will tell though. I'm going to be watching their next game against 'Pool with keen interest now. I have to.

Hear Wenger: "We were not very good and the referee was at our level. On Kane, he said: “He was good, as always. He grows and he has a good determination. He doesn’t stop, keeps going. The regret I have is that we gave him a cheap goal."

Ahh, I see what you are saying Arsene, you didn't play very well, the referee was poor and you lost because you made a charitable mistake at the back ( I hope the sarcasm is not lost on y'all)

Incisive analysis of the game as ever! ( there were a lot of gooners who feel just the same yesterday on the match thread)

Now imagine if that comment had been made by Mourinho after a Chelsea loss - where his team was clearly second best... Sites would have been inundated with those hypocritical "Mou is unrealistic, Mou is uncharitable, Mou isn't magnanimous to the opposition in defeat" posts

Spurs were better, and even when they were a goal down, any realistic person watching that game would see that they were not fazed. They were still playing like a side who felt they were going to win that match.. ...and there was nothing cheap about those Kane goals. He took them well. Fortune favours the brave

Suddenly, Chelsea's defeat on New Year's Day doesn't look like a fluke anymore and Wembley glory on March 1 doesn't look like a foregone conclusion.

But we have Mou. He'll find a way. He.Always.Does

Bonus fact- Pochettino was the Argentine defender who fouled Michael Owen and gave away a penalty in the England vs Argentina Group F game ( World Cup 2002)

David Beckham converted the spot kick and England won 1-0 -A crucial victory for the English then

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21084894

NB

You probably missed the verbal sparring between Arsenal fan, Piers Morgan ( who has an uncanny talent of sticking his foot into his mouth ) and former Spurs boss, Alan Sugar on Twitter:

RepRe

.@piersmorgan - ( before the match) "Kane can't get on Arsenal's bench"

@Lord_Sugar -

@piersmorgan-glad you got up at 4 am, now you have the rest of the day to get aggravated. Classic "Kane could not get on Arsenal bench" :D

@piersmorgan-

@Lord_Sugar-

Wenger 700th game in charge of Arsenal and has played against 11 Spurs managers.

You hired 7 of those losers! :-)

@aDonohue- Spurs fan:

To be fair, the Arsenal bench is reserved as a smoking section :D

Posted with Blogsy

Dortmund's Bundesliga 'brain fart' and other football titbits

2015-02-06T22:55:00.001-08:00

Dortmund's Bundesliga 'brain fart' and other football titbits

Dortmund's spectacular 2014-15 collapse:

2 things Dortmund need to do-

1. Sack Club Director Watzke and Sporting Director Zorc

2. Employ a top class sports psychologist

....but Klopp should have just one more chance to keep his job: the next match against Freiburg

Dortmund's issue is not Klopp. It is their Director Watzke and Sporting Director Zorc.

Their sins:

Giving buy out clauses to Goetze and Reuss (20 million is a complete joke for such class acts!! ) and not giving a hefty raise to a vastly underpaid Lewandoski by the 3rd year of his contract ( which would have meant getting a contract extension in return)

It was a recipe for the disaster this season.

Nobody at the club thought: "What are we going to do when every other club in this League follows out example and starts gegenpressing too!"

Why Klopp should go if he doesn't get a result in the next match:

Klopp gave us Gegenpressing and Dortmund ( under his watch) were absolutely top of the game in 2010-13- winning the Bundesliga back to back ( even doing the double in one of those glorious seasons) , and getting to the CL final.

Klopp is the longest running coach at one club in the Bundesliga ( among the current lot) . He's the longest running coach ever in the history of Dortmund.

He took the club to the CL final with 1/500th of the player budget that ManU, ManCity, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barca have

So his record shows he's not a two-bit chancer.

With that kind of record, he's not suddenly a bad coach.

One last chance with Freiburg, in my opinion. If that goes south again,

I hope he'll step down on his own terms and spare the club the heart-break of firing him. Perhaps a fresh start in another league would do both club and him a lot of good.

Dortmund needs to hire a good sports psychologist 'cos confidence is a fragile thing.

During a spell of bad results ( irrespective of the League or the division) a range of reactions occur - one loss is an aberration, two losses is bad luck, three is a bad patch. After four losses people start to question things they had total faith in and the players start to lose confidence. You then begin to change things that were previously trusted.

It is what it is

Aubameyang, Reus and co can't buy a goal at the moment. Dortmund have always conceded goals but they often score 2-3 in a game so conceding didn't matter.

Sticking the ball in the net is their main problem this season. Once they concede one goal now, it's 'things fall apart' territory. They've scored a miserable 18 goals in 19 games ( Bayern have scored 43! )

Mkhitaryan and Immobile are looking like bad buys by the minute. Kagawa and Sahin are no longer the players they were ( JSP has a word for that: saponified! :-) )

Even the 40m Man Utd -rated Hummels is looking like a 4m defender without Subotic constantly by his side ( just as Lovren hasn't been the same without Jose Fonte at 'Pool )

I think they'll ultimately avoid the drop. Stuttgart, Hertha Berlin, Paderborn and Freiburg- the teams just above them are poorer quality-wise

but the Freiburg game is make or break territory

Speaking about Lovren:

He's been missing for so long that some 'Pool fans are wondering when his face will start appearing on these milk cartons

You'd be a wise man to bet on somebody receiving the marching orders in the 'Pool - Everton derby today. Someone.Almost.Always.Does

Speaking about Man Utd:

LVG went into January wanting a world-class centreback and a first-choice rightback, along with perhaps a dynamic midfielder and another winger, yet came out the other side with an (admittedly excellent) back-up goalkeeper. Hands up if you think Valdez would be happy playing second fiddle for long? Which makes it appear that his move was a gamble on De Gea leaving for ( Hala! ) Madrid in the not too distant future.

The bigger gamble is the lack of activity in the transfer window (for which there might be legitimate reasons- no good enough quality in the market) . Which leaves the question: is this current squad good enough for a CL place? Their current position suggests 'yes'. Can this side win the FA Cup? A rejuvenated 'Pool and Arsenal will have a say. You've got to factor in Okafor's law in that permutation though

Spurs vs Arsenal

Y'all know whom I'm supporting in this one- and it's not 'cos I particularly like them either. It is just what it is. Poche is doing a good job over there- giving the youths a chance in the team, Kane and Bentaleb readily come to mind.

(You've got to read about Spurs' latest wunderkid who has Nigerian origins, Dele Alli

He's been compared to Stevie G. I hope he fulfils his potentials)

Utd fans may remember him. He bossed their millionaires in the middle in that League Cup whitewash earlier in the season at MK Dons

Arsenal have the edge in these fixtures, but with Eriksen's current form and Dembele leading the high pressing game which Poche favours ( this covers the deficiency of their pivot and backline) I won't be surprised if Spurs get something out of this

A word on El Derbi

What Real Madrid have to do to win El Derbi :

Atletico have had the edge in recent times. They'll be compact as ever with their disciplined 4-4-2 ( usually derided as bus-parking) and force Real to play through the wings where the Real player can be double or triple-teamed

To win this game Real needs to finish the one or two clear chances they get or have one of the players pull something spectacular.

Atletico won't want to lose this though, as it could put their title defence in real jeopardy

On Luis Suarez missing sitters:

Some believe that he'll rediscover that that killer instinct at Barca. He just hasn't managed to get his teeth into things in Spain yet. :-)

On a serious note: in comparison to Neymar’s first season at Barca-

First 16 games with Barcelona:

- Neymar: 4 goals + 8 assists

- Suarez: 5 goals + 9 assists

Similar init? You can't fault the assist stats. Neymar is a better player this season so, there's hope for Suarez. He just isn't going to be a 30-50 goal a season player anymore. That accolade is reserved for the main man. It ain't Suarez.

Ghana vs CIV ACN final

Just found out that former Chelsea Gaffer, Avram Grant, manages Ghana

Bad news for Ghana! The Undertaker doesn't win cup finals ( it was why John Terry slipped while taking his penalty kick in the CL final back in 'em days :P )

Finally,

Juan 'Vespa' Cuadrado

Why would Mourinho be interested in a player who is very similar to Willian?

There is an attacking deficiency on that Chelsea right wing- which I've talked about before. Mou has seen this too ( or has been reading our blogs over here! :-) )

Cuadrado vs Willian

A quick scan of the statistics will show you:

Cuadrado notched up 11 league goals and five assists in 32 appearances last season compared to Willian's four goals and two assists.

You might argue that Willian was adjusting to a new club in a stronger league back then, but even this season — one in which Cuadrado has been supposedly "out of form" — his four goals and four assists for Fiorentina better Willian's one in each category for Chelsea. Don't forget that in a World Cup bursting with attacking flair, Cuadrado ended the tournament as the joint-top assist maker in the welcome company of Toni Kroos.

He has to be an upgrade

So, welcome son, light up that right wing! , just like Hazard does the left.

NB- origin of the Vespa moniker :-) : The winger from Colombia weaves through opponents just as a rider on a scooter does fellow commuters in rush hour on a gridlocked stretch of road. Luca Toni calls him Vespa. A twist of the throttle, a sudden burst of acceleration and vroom, Cuadrado's off. Fiorentina's right-side is their fast lane. Few can stay with him." - James Horncastle

Posted with Blogsy

The EPL Season- First Half: My Thoughts On The Big Clubs

2015-01-04T21:16:00.001-08:00

The EPL Season- First Half: My Thoughts On The Big Clubs

One reason why Chelsea would win the EPL this season: Diego Costa

Chelsea threw away the title last season because there was a paucity of goals up front. To put things in perspective:

In just 4 matches, Costa scored the amount of league goals that Torres scored for Chelsea in 2 seasons!!

Hear some description of him:

"Costa looks like a Bond villain's henchman."

"Fred Flintstone after a crack binge."

"Costa looks like he came straight out of the Flinstones."

"Costa looks like drug cartel leader."

"Absolute class striker despite his fred flintstone face."

"Costa looks like Oscar's dad."

"Looks like the bad guy from Last Action Hero!"

"He looks like an extra from Scarface."

"He looks like a piece of low-grit sandpaper."

"He kinda looks like a monstrous version of Oscar."

"He looks like he could be Tevez's Dad."

"Diego Costa has the face of a man who probably has hundreds of gigabytes of filthy pornography on his computer."

Basically, he's BAMF- that's abbr. for Bad Ass Mother F*ck*r* *

Costa's solo goal against Fenerbahce in a preseason friendly is an example of what Chelsea were lacking last season- agility, strength, accuracy in front of goal.

Like A Boss

Despite our poorest showing of the season on New Year's Day, we still scored 3 goals ( that is significant) . You'll almost always win a match if you score 3 goals, either home or away

What Mourinho needs to correct so that we don't throw away the title again this season: address our right-sided weakness

I reiterate for the umpteenth time since the onset of this second Mou coming- Ivanovic is not a full back, he is a CB.

He has the positional sense of a centre back playing as a right back. His ability to just seemingly let crosses come into the area is unparalleled.

I wish our back 4 is Luis Felipe (LB), Terry &Zouma or Ivanovic(CB) and Azpi (RB) and I wish Remy would get more game time in this Chelsea team.

Notice I have omitted Cahill. He needs time on the bench.

I have never seen a defender back away so readily from an attacker. It is almost comical seeing him virtually run into his area under minimal threat. Harry Kane made Cahill look like a pub player marking Messi the other day. It was like Cahill was playing with clenched buttocks ( just try running with that ) His unwillingness to just step forward and make a challenge is so irritating.

He was overheard saying this after that match: "if Harry Kane's dog was on fire and I had to pee, I’d hold that ish until I gave myself a urinary tract infection"

We are desperate for someone on the right hand side who is direct, capable of playing at pace, dribbling well and who takes a shot. Hazard does this well on the left ( he has started taking more shots too)

Costa will score more goals if he gets more service from the right- the kind he gets from the left

Schurlle should have fit this bill but I can't explain his loss of form this season. Maybe what he needs is more game time or, better still, give Remy a chance here.

Remy deserves more game time, QED

Mikel just showed how valuable he still is in the Chelsea CM-particularly in big away fixtures -after the debacle at White Hart Lane.

Matic had too much pie to eat before the match and the entire defence took the day off like Ferris Bueller

Dear Lord, please make Chelsea vs Spurs happen in the COC final.

There has to be atonement for that insubordination

Man City -had the easier fixtures over the festive season and what they've been able to do well is grind out results while not been spectacular. The fact that they have done without 2 of their key players Aguero and Kompany is worthy of note though

( Ex-Chelsea Lampard single-handedly earning them 7 points sucks too! - the goal against us, the winning goals against Leicester and Sunderland in their last match. Here's a link on the loan/season-long contract 'sleaze' :

I have to put this here: I'm not sure why City CB, Eliaquim Mangala hasn't been found out more often in the EPL ( he had a horror show against Hull City in the first half of the season) He plays like somebody with yam tubers in his shorts

Of course you could say it's a bit rich coming from a Chelsea fan- after the horror show of our defenders last time out!

The Stamford Bridge clash at the end of the month is looking very important now.

I don't know whether it is necessary to talk about any of the other big teams apart from Man City, 'cos I think they are the only ones we have to worry about this season.

The almost cryptic similarity in our EPL statistics ( Chelsea & Man City ) after the New Year games simply means: we start all over again.

Man Utd - are a team who are trying to regain their identity, in my opinion.

They used to be the Don Juans

Now their names are just Twans

( I hope you saw what I did there )

The misty-eyed nostalgists at Old Trafford would definitely agree with this

It is a big surprise that Van Gaal has not managed yet to make the team play better than they are doing.

Most people still don’t see a flow, a rhythm. They won five on the spin before their treble draws, but they were absolutely pummelled at Arsenal and should have lost against Southampton and Stoke City in their last game. The injury list excuse is becoming tired and played out for such a big team

Word on the streets was that Vidic might be coming back to shore up that defence - which has the presence of a wet handkerchief. I hope this is just pepper-soup joint talk.

Like a relationship, never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

Falcao's loan move may become permanent though ( for a lot of dough!! If anyone calls any other person MMR in Manchester again, ehn? ) if this story is anything to go by

Arsenal - *sighs*

Grapevine asks: "Why do they continue to leave the meat market sausage free?"

..... well, the rest of us collectively say: long may Wenger's reign continue!

It has to be the 8th wonder of the world that Mertesacker is such an accomplished central defender

He has the gait of a baby giraffe and y'all know that giraffe and pace are two words that don't like each other

Small wonders that the defence has been caught out for pace frequently this season

Alexis Sanchez is a breath of fresh air but even Superman needed his Kryptonite from time to time. Sanchez looked like someone who needed a breather in recent times. I still cannot understand why the now departing Podolski struggled to get a game in this side

Liverpool - what is happening to Brendan Rodger's team this season is the reason why Managers like Mourinho & Ancelotti have to be respected. The fact that you had a great season and a lot of money to spend in the next season doesn't always guarantee success in this game. Everton's Martinez is waking up and smelling the coffee too

Liverpool's defence has had the consistency of wet tissue paper all season and the attack would make an impotent man feel like a stud!

It was always going to be difficult replacing Luis Suarez but you'd agree with me that a player like Alexis Sanchez would have been a 'closer' like-for-like replacement than Lambert or Balotelli

I can't do this Liverpool part without mentioning that Steven Gerrard leaving at the end of the season is the best decision for all.

He did say the deciding moment was the sit-down he had with Brendan Rodgers about the need to manage his minutes at his age.

Hear Zidane on Gerrard:

"I have said in the past that at his peak he was the best in the world.

"I think it was the summer of 2004 I was having a conversation with Florentino (Perez) and I told him I wanted him to partner me in midfield for Madrid.

"I know the club tried twice but he wouldn’t leave Liverpool. Not many players turn down Real Madrid!! but I think that tells you a lot about the loyalty of the man ."

I love this league and this game!

Posted with Blogsy

Top Five verdict: Smooth

2015-01-03T05:33:00.001-08:00

Top Five Verdict: Smooth

Just seen this comedy flick

Chris Rock plays a comedian striving to become a 'serious' actor, while Rosario Dawson plays an intelligent and beautiful journalist- who's trying to write a story about his career

Their on-screen chemistry was obvious!! *phew* ( check out the pixs)

The flick is funny, intelligently crafted and critics have rated it as Rock's best work to date.

I can't agree more!

....The background songs, the crazy cameos by an array of stars, the play with the Prince Charming/Cinderella and lost shoe story....I loved it all!

The 'Sleaze' - it is believed that Rosario Dawson is going out with Chris Rock now, and this might have contributed to his recent divorce from wife of nearly 19 years, Malaak Compton ( pix 4)

(The couple had been having issues for a long time and had separated before though)

Posted with Blogsy

AMA 2014- The Iggy show

2014-11-24T07:12:00.001-08:00

AMA 2014- The Iggy show

Check out some of the fashion on display at the AMA yesterday

Left to right:

Naya Rivera, Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, Ciara, Ke$ha

Katy Perry, Nicole Richie, Zoe Saldana, Jennifer Hudson, Jennifer Lopez, Jordin Sparks

It was the Iggy Azalea ( and One Direction ) show really

Check out her performance of Fancy & Beg For It:

I thought she had the night's best performance. She also won the Best Rap/Hip Hop Award- pipping Eminem to the gong

Here's the list of all the winners: link

Posted with Blogsy

Of Aaliyah, recency and the taste of bacon

2014-11-21T09:33:00.001-08:00

Of Aaliyah, recency and the taste of bacon

I watched the Aaliyah biopic on Lifetime a few days ago

I thought Alexander Shipp did a decent job as Aaliyah. She could have done much better if she was actually allowed to sing the songs that made Aaliyah an icon

However the flick was universally panned on social media for many reasons particularly that of Miscasting: Izaak Smith & Chattrise Dolabaille look nothing like Timbaland and Missy Elliot -who worked closely with the singer during her lifetime. (Pix 3)

Cle Bennett who played R. Kelly looks more like Akon ( pix 2)

Anthony Grant who played Aaliyah's lover towards the end of her life, Damon Dash, is too tall (pix 4)

Hundreds of funny memes concerning this miscasting are on Twitter

Oddly enough the only person who looked like a music star was Aaliyah's brother, Rashad, played by Jesse Sukunda. He looks very much like Drake

-the attempt to 'romanticise' the pedophilic relationship between Aaliyah and R. Kelly also rubbed people off the wrong way

- Her family probably had a bad feeling about the flick as they didn't give the film makers permission to use any of her songs in the movie

Perhaps the biggest problem is that described in this article by one of my favourite bloggers, Damon Young:

Aaliyah has not been dead long enough!

Damon writes: "You can’t make a biopic loosely based on recent common knowledge fact because those facts are still too present, too alive still for us to grant the filmmakers any leeway"

"It’s someone attempting to explain to you how the bacon you ate yesterday morning tasted"

I co-sign this

Posted with Blogsy

Of Ernest Hemingway and a fine world

2014-11-21T09:26:00.001-08:00

Of Ernest Hemingway and a fine world

Ernest Hemingway once wrote: "The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for"

I agree with the second part, the first....hmmmm....nah!!

Posted with Blogsy

Scandal -Season 4, Ep 9: Where the sun don't shine. Wooh!

2014-11-21T06:39:00.001-08:00

Scandal -Season 4, Ep 9: Where the sun don't shine.Wooh!

Definitely, the best episode this season!! Sadly this was the mid-season finale ( winter break now! )

For a full review check out this link:

My favourite moments:

Pix 1

(Olivia had snatched Papa Pope's gun, much to his shock and disbelief. Then , she pulled the trigger, but the gun wasn’t loaded.)

Papa Pope-" arrrrgh! Are you kidding me, you just shot your own father!! ....never, never in a million years did I think that you would be willing to pull the trigger" ( he takes the gun away from her)

..... "You will miss me when I’m gone"

Pix 2

( Cyrus was quitting as his gay affair had been found out and could cause a scandal in the White House ) My best scene!

Olivia Pope to Cyrus:

"When did you decide to let them ruin you?

So life's unfair, so what?

That's how it is!!

So they are 'mean girling' you and the Press are calling you name and hurting the soft spots deep inside,

well, so what?

That's how it is!!

You lost someone you loved, you lost that one person who felt like family,

Well, guess what?

Grow the hell up because that is how it is!

The Cyrus I know doesn't hide in his half empty pocket and wet his pants like a little bitch, baby

The Cyrus I know is a patriot

He bites the bullet and he does what it takes to serve the Republic at all cost!

So I want to know right now, in this moment, who you are!!

Because the pathetic shell of a person I'm looking at right now doesn't deserve to stand on the Presidential Seal at the Oval Office, let alone tell the president what to do!

Who are you, Cy?

Who are you, Cy?"

Cyrus- *getting his mojo back* : "I'm one of the most powerful men in the world"

Olivia- Who are you, Cy?

Cyrus- I'm one of the most powerful men in the world

Olivia- Oh yes you are not a B*tch, baby?

Cyrus- I run this country, I'm nobody's b*tch, baby!!

Olivia- Well, I know that you still sound like a little b*tch, baby!!

Cyrus- I'm noooot a little b*tch, baby!!!

Olivia- then show me, prove it, right now, show me who you are, Cyrus Beene"

(All I can say to that scene is Wooooooh!!! )

Pix 3

Olivia to Mama Pope - You have to know something, you spent years watching him ( Papa Pope) you have a PHD in his crazy ....I need some answers now!

Mama Pope - Girl, you need to move on!

Pix 4

Elizabeth, Republican Party chairman ( Portia De Rossi): " I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you?, I thought we were both on the same page?"

Mellie ( has just recently discovered that, just like her, Elizabeth is also getting the gud gud from the VP, Andrew):

"Because we are both screwing Andrew!?!

That doesn't make us friends!

It just makes both of us at risk of the same STDs!!

I don't blame you, I know as well as the next girl how generous Andrew is in bed that he is dedicated.

But he is weak, certainly not a presidential candidate.

So, when the next presidential election rolls around, I'll make damn sure that you bet the right horse, cos when it comes to screwing someone, I'm not nearly as gentle as Andrew!!

From me, it will HURT!!"

Wooooh, woooooh!! Never ever rub Mellie the wrong way, never!!

Pix 5 & 6 tells their own story

Y'all need to watch this show! For real!!

Posted with Blogsy

Of Ecclesiastes, the futility of it all, Carpe Diem and Hey, don't forget to live!

2014-10-23T01:06:00.001-07:00

Of Ecclesiastes, the futility of it all, Carpe Diem and Hey, don't forget to live!

Ecclesiastes is one of my favourite books in the bible ( Another one is Job, but that's a story for another day )

Ecclesiastes is a Greek word for 'Preacher'.

Why this Preacher may not be most people's favourite person:

-the prominent tone, particularly in the early chapters, is one of alienated cynicism and weary melancholy

-It's theme is: the emptiness of human effort, utter futility. All is vanity- which means it's all for nought. It's like pursuing wind

"I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind" ( Ecc 1:14 NIV )

Ecc 1:2 "Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity"

Ecc 8: 10b- 14 He is frustrated with delayed justice and the unfairness of it all. All is vanity

-Each time he tries to make sense of it, his frustration grows.

"And I gave my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly: I perceived that this also is vexation of spirit. For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow". (Ecc 1:17-18 )

9:11 - "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all"

( this popular verse is often quoted out of context ( where is the concept of merit then? ) It is actually a lament of the great injustice of the way things occur in this world. You need to read the preceding verses to understand this )

-So, he concludes that the same fate awaits both the fool and the wise- death Ecc 2:14-17

"Therefore I hated life; because the work that is wrought under the sun is grievous unto me: for all is vanity and vexation of spirit" (Ecclesiastes 2:17)

9:2-6 The good, the evil, the righteous, the unrighteous: Death is the same fate of all

This is where it gets really interesting:

-Despite all this despair and cynicism, there is a positive note: the writer doesn't recommend nihilism or suicide (despite the lack of purpose or meaning in life). He states that every life does have its moments of meaning and happiness, and these moments should be seized when one can .

Carpe Diem (Seize the moment) -remember Jack in Titanic?

Which is why Ecc 9:7-10 makes sense - particularly relating to how one should live life

verse 7: "Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepteth thy works"

Ecc 5:18 - "Behold that which I have seen: it is good and comely for one to eat and to drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labour that he taketh under the sun all the days of his life, which God giveth him: for it is his portion"

Ecc 3:13 "And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it is the gift of God"

"In the end it's not the years in your life that count, but the life in your years"-Abraham Lincoln

So, Carpe Diem (seize the moment) and...

Hey, don't forget to live!

-Inspiration from Prof Christine Hayes' Lecture on 'The Hebrew Bible'

Posted with Blogsy

The Assyrian Kings responsible for the fall of Israel

2014-10-19T23:02:00.001-07:00

The Assyrian Kings responsible for the fall of Israel

( King Solomon was the last King of a unified Israel.

Despite the awesome temple he built on Mount Zion, he loved women from nations that God had forbidden and he would have succumbed to the worship of their gods. He would have been guilty of syncretism ( religious infidelity)

He built temples for Moabite and Ammonite gods- this may reflect a tolerance for other cults or gods in the 10th & 9th centuries.

Of course there was discontent among the people and a huge class divide ( he was taxing them heavily too)

When he died in 931BCE, the kingdom was divided between King Jeroboam in the North & Rehoboam in the south. The northerners ( 10 tribes of Israel would not recognise Rehoboam as King. The King would not lessen the tax burden on the people either. Hence Jeroboam became King in the North and Rehoboam was King of south- the tribes of Judah and Benjamin) This account is in 1 Kings )

Tiglath-Pileser III ( pix 1 )

Reign 745–727 BCE

He introduced advanced civil, military, and political systems into the Neo-Assyrian Empire

Tiglath-Pileser III seized the Assyrian throne during a civil war and killed the royal family.

He introduced sweeping reforms which made the Assyrian army, already the greatest fighting force in the world since the 14th Century ( 600 years previously), the world's first professional standing army.

Tiglath-Pileser III subjugated much of the known world at the time!!

-In the south west, he subjugated Israel, Judah, Philistia, Samarra, Moab and Edom

Biblical records describe how Tiglath-Pileser III exacted 1000 talents of silver as tribute from King Menahem of the Kingdom of Israel (2 Kings 15:19) and later defeated his successor Pekah ( 15:29)

King Pekah of Israel had allied with Rezin, king of the Arameans ( Syria) against Ahaz of the Kingdom of Judah, who responded by appealing for the Assyrian monarch's help with the Temple gold and silver.

Tiglath-Pileser answered swiftly. He first marched his army down the eastern Mediterranean coast, taking coastal cities all the way to Egypt. This cut off his enemies' access to the sea.

Once this was achieved, he returned to the Northern Kingdom of Israel, destroyed their army, and deported the Reubenites, Gadites, and the people of Manasseh to Halah, Habor, Hara, and the Gozan river (1 Chron 5:26).

He then installed an Israelite puppet king, Hoshea, (732-723 BCE) in the place of king Pekah.

He concluded this extensive campaign by marching north and west, ravaging Aramaea, seizing Damascus, executing Rezin, and deporting the survivors to Kir (2 Kings 16:9).

Beyond this, the Assyrian alliance was not beneficial to Ahaz (2 Chron 28:20)

Isaiah & Micah were Judean prophets who talked about the Assyrian crisis

Shalmaneser V (pix 2)

was king of Assyria from 727 to 722 BC.

( Hoshea was King of Israel in this period)

According to 2 Kings, chapters 17-18, Shalmaneser accused Hoshea, King of Israel, of conspiring against him by sending messages to Pharaoh Osorkon IV of Egypt, and captured him.

Indeed, the Egyptians attempted to gain a foothold in Palestine, then held largely by Assyria's vassal kings, by stirring them to revolt against Assyria and lending them some military support.

After three year of siege he took the city of Samaria. The populations he deported to various lands of the empire, (together with ones deported about ten year earlier by Tiglath-Pileser III) are known as the "Ten Lost Tribes" of Israel.

The populations he settled in Samaria instead form, according to the commentary in the Bible, the origin of Samaritans. Shalmaneser died in the same year, 722 BC, and it is possible that the population exchanges were done by his successor Sargon II.

Sargon II ( pix 3 )

reigned 722 – 705 BC

Sargon II became the ruler of the Assyrian Empire in 722 BC after the death of Shalmaneser V.

It is not clear whether he was the son of Tiglath-Pileser III or a usurper unrelated to the -however he took the name Sharru-kinu ("true king"), after Sargon of Akkad — who had founded the first Semitic Empire in the region some 16 centuries earlier. ( we've talked about him)

Under his rule, the Assyrians completed the defeat of the Kingdom of Israel and exiled the inhabitants.

Sargon's name actually appears in the Bible only once, at Isaiah 20:1, which records the Assyrian capture of Ashdod in 711 BC.

He took 27,290 people captive from the city of Samaria resettling some with the Israelites in the Khabur region and the rest in the land of the Medes thus establishing Hebrew communities in Ecbatana and Rages ( these are all in modern day Iran)

Amos and Hosea were the prominent prophets in Israel during this crisis

Fall of the Assyrian Empire:

612BCE- A year after the death of the last strong Assyrian ruler, Assurbanipal, in 627 BCE, the Assyrian empire spiralled into a series of brutal civil wars. Babylon saw its opportunity and, with the help of allies, it sacked the capital city of Assyria, Nineveh in 612BCE. The Babylonians then became the big boys in the area.

Prophet Nahum celebrated the fall of Nineveh in his book

The Babylonian King responsible for Judah's fall:

Nebuchadnezzar II ( pix 4) 634 – 562 BCE

was king of the Neo-Babylonian Empire

Jehoiakim was King of Judah in 587BCE. Judah was a vassal state of Babylon. The Judeans had rebelled against Babylonian rule ( Nebuchadnezzar's incursion into Egypt had failed and the Babylonians had been weakened due to the war. Judah saw this as an opportunity)

Nebuchadnezzar soon dealt with these rebellion, capturing Jerusalem in 597 BC and deposing King Jehoiakim, then destroying the city in 587 BC due to rebellion, and deporting many of the prominent citizens along with a sizable portion of the Jewish population of Judea to Babylon.

These events are described in the Prophets (Nevi'im) and Writings (Ketuvim), sections of the Hebrew Bible (in the books 2 Kings and Jeremiah, and 2 Chronicles, respectively).

While boasting about his achievements, Nebuchadnezzar is humbled by God. The king loses his sanity and lives in the wild like an animal for seven years. After this, his sanity and position are restored and he praises and honours God. There are various explanations for this episode by modern scholars

Reason for the fall of Israel & Judah:

All the kings of Israel and almost all the kings of Judah were "bad", which in terms of Biblical narrative means that they failed to enforce worship of Yahweh alone.

Of the "good" kings, Hezekiah (727–698 BCE) is noted for his efforts at stamping out idolatry (in this case, the worship of Baal and Asherah, among other traditional Near Eastern divinities),

but his successors, Manasseh of Judah (698–642 BCE) and Amon (642–640 BCE), revived idolatry, drawing down on the kingdom the anger of Yahweh.

King Josiah (640–609 BCE ) returned to the worship of Yahweh alone and carried out reforms ( as documented in Deuteronomy) but his efforts were too late and Israel's unfaithfulness caused God to permit the kingdom's destruction by the Babylonians in c.587/586 BCE.

Ezekiel was the prominent prophet during the Babylonian crisis. He was actually sent into exile with his compatriots.

Jeremiah was another prominent prophet who talked about the impending Babylonian crisis and the reason for it. He was actually imprisoned for a while when Judah fell.

Fall of Babylon

539BCE - eventually , Babylon itself would fall. King Cyrus of Persia ( Iran) ensured this.

Jewish exiles were allowed to return to Jerusalem and Judah became a province of Persia.

520-515BCE - the destroyed temple in Jerusalem was rebuilt

Some of the post-exilic prophets were Haggai, Zechariah & Job

Posted with Blogsy

The Sunni-Shia Schism in Islam, Iran, Iraq and the origins of ISIL

2014-10-10T05:54:00.001-07:00

The Sunni-Shia Schism in Islam, Iran, Iraq and the origins of ISIL

ISIL- Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant

Sometimes called ISIS - Islamic State of Iraq & Syria-

have been in the news for sometime now. Ever wondered about the origin?

After Muhammed 's death in 632BCE ( at the age of 62) , there were disputes over religious and political leadership .

These would give rise to schism in the Muslim community.

The majority accepted the legitimacy of the three rulers after Muhammed ( Abu Bakr, Umar ibn al-Khattab and Uthman ibn al-Affan) but won't accept the 4th Caliph, Ali ibn Abi Talib

They became known as Sunnis.

A minority disagreed, and believed that Muhammad appointed his son-in-law, Ali ibn Abi Talib, as his successor and only certain descendants of Ali could be Imams.

As a result, they believe that Ali ibn Abi Talib was the first Imam (leader), rejecting the legitimacy of the previous Muslim caliphs Abu Bakr, Uthman ibn al-Affan and Umar ibn al-Khattab.

-they became known as the Shiites

Shiism:

Remember this dude, Sheikh Ismail I (pix 1):

Iran’s population was mostly Sunni of the Shafi`i and Hanafi legal rites until the triumph of the Safavids

The Safavids were one of the most significant ruling dynasties of Persia (modern Iran)

(From 1500–2 Sheikh Ismail I, the founder of the Safavid dynasty, conquered Tabriz in Iran, as well as Azerbaijan.

He would take most of the next decade to consolidate his control over Iran, where most of the Persian population was still Sunni.

His hatred of the Sunnis knew no bounds: he was the most intolerant Shia ruler since the fall of the Fatimids and his persecution of Sunnis was ruthless.

He aimed at no less than the complete destruction of Sunnism.

The Safavid conversion of Iran from Sunnism to Shiism made Iran the spiritual bastion of Shia Islam against the onslaughts of Sunni Islam, and the repository of Persian cultural traditions and self-awareness of Iranianhood, acting as a bridge to modern Iran

Earlier on in history, the Muslims had taken over Persia:

The Persian ( Sassanid) Empire ( Iran) used to be the major player in the region and Iraq used to be it's capital state

This changed at the battle of Al-Qadissiyah fought in 636BCE:

It was the decisive engagement between the Arab Muslim army and the Sassanid Persian army ( supported by the Byzantines )during the first period of Muslim expansion.

It resulted in the Islamic conquest of Persia and was key to the conquest of Iraq.

As documented above, both Iran and Iraq ended up having Shia majorities. Sunni Muslims were in the minority

Then Saddam Hussein- pix 2 ( became President in 1979) and his Ba'ath party ( took power via a coup in 1968) happened to Iraq. He was a Sunni

This led to the persecution of Shiites in Iraq and frequent turf wars with Shia-dominated Iran

-In 1979, the Revolution happened in Iran

-The Ayatollah ( Ruhollah Khomeini, pix 3 ) encouraged repressed Shiites to revolt in Iraq

-this was one of the reasons ( including centuries of animosity and perceived wrongs) for the 1980-1988 Iran-Iraq wars. It ended in a stalemate

-Saddam was deposed in 2003, following the Gulf war. He was executed in 2006 having been found guilty of many atrocities-including killing 148 Shiite Iraqis

- the Shia majority now took over Government and started persecuting the Sunni minority

-this is the genesis of the current terrorist group, ISIS or ISIL

-the group has grown significantly under the leadership of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi ( pix 4), gaining support in Iraq as a result of alleged economic and political discrimination against Iraqi Sunnis. They have also incorporated the Sunni insurgents in the Syrian Civil war

Posted with Blogsy

The Fertile Crescent

2014-10-10T05:40:00.001-07:00

The Fertile Crescent

ONE OF THE central facts of human history is the early importance of the part of the Near East known as the Fertile Crescent

If you draw a line from the Nile River through the lower border of the Mediterranean and through the Tigris and Euphrates rivers , you'll get a crescent-shaped region around this line

This crescent-shaped region contains the comparatively moist and fertile land of an otherwise arid and semi-arid Western Asia

That area appears to have been the earliest site for a whole string of developments, including cities, writing, empires, and what we term (for better or worse) civilization

So civilization started here.

Why?

All those developments mentioned above sprang, in turn, from the dense human populations, stored food surpluses, and feeding of nonfarming specialists made possible by the rise of food production in the form of crop cultivation and animal husbandry

The Mediterranean climate was just suitable for crop cultivation and animal rearing, sedentary lifestyle and community development. Crucially, while some were engaged in these activities of daily living, it allowed other people to concentrate on the things associated with development and civilisation such as writing, carvings, arts and the building of empires

Note Canaan in that area in the maps ( thus a land 'flowing with milk and honey' makes more sense )

While my ancestors were still nomadic hunter-gatherers-moving from place to place, these dudes were settled and becoming civilised

Thus, with the coming of the Early Bronze Age (3200–2200 BCE) the first great civilizations emerged in proximity to the great rivers of the region, the Nile in Egypt, and the Tigris and Euphrates that define Mesopotamia (literally, the land between the two rivers) in modern Iraq.

In southern Mesopotamia, around the junction and mouth of the two rivers, the Sumerians are credited with the earliest known writing system, around 3200 B.C.E.

Egyptian civilization is almost as old as that of Sumer. A form of writing known as hieroglyphics first appears around 3100 B.C.E

Note that Canaan lies between these 2 great civilisations

Around 1400 B.c.E, the Kingdom of the Ugarit arose in Canaan

Israel emerged in the highlands of Canaan between 1250-1000 BCE (

Why is this bit of history important?

Israel didn't exist until about 1500 years after the great civilisations of Egypt, and more importantly, Mesopotamia ( as the latter spoke a language similar to the Semitic language of the Israelites )

This earlier civilisations had to have an influence on the history and the culture of the Israelites

This narrative is important for my future posts

In current usage, all definitions of the Fertile Crescent include Mesopotamia, the land in and around the Tigris and Euphrates rivers. The modern-day countries with significant territory within the Fertile Crescent are Iraq, Kuwait, Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Israel, Cyprus, and Egypt, besides the southeastern fringe of Turkey and the western fringes of Iran.

Any body who's met an educated Egyptian or Iraqi or Iranian knows how proud these people can be. Their people were the first ones to be civilised. Even Caucasians ( Europeans) were still hunter gatherers when these people were forming communities

Posted with Blogsy

Of motivation quotes, errors and Coca Cola

2014-10-04T00:03:00.001-07:00

Of motivation quotes, errors and Coca Cola

Saw this quote on social media today

( one of the interminable ones you see on your Wall -posted by your FB friends who love channelling their inner Zig Ziglar :D )

This quote even has a Facebook fan page!

Great motivational quote, major error in the figures quoted

During the first year ( 1886) , sales averaged a modest nine drinks per day. You do the maths! :-)

It did make me read about the resourcefulness of the inventor, Colonel John Pemberton - who was wounded in the Civil War, became addicted to morphine, and began a quest to find a substitute for the dangerous opiate

The business-savvy of Asa Candler- who got the sole ownership ( in 1891 for $2300 ) by buying the interests of Pemberton & other rivals ( both by legal and crooked means! :-) )

The vision and even greater entrepreneurial spirit of Ernest Woodruff- who, in 1919, bought the Candler interests in The Coca-Cola Company for $25 million. With 1.8 billion servings per day worldwide, you can't argue that his vision of ' a Coke on every table' hasn't been achieved

Motivational quotes are good, error-free or not, but I hope people realise that Will is more important ( passion, vision, focus, absolute commitment)

Hallan Goerger wrote:

" as we look at "Motivation" and the ideas of goal setting, self-talk, being positive, keeping the right attitude and such, hopefully we see how "Will" needs to be the foundation and that motivation is the tool to assist. If we depend only on the motivational factor we have short term gain and we are constantly putting more wood on the fire. With "Will" we find people put their own wood on!"

I co-sign this

Posted with Blogsy

Anton Chigurh: The personification of Death angle

2014-09-02T00:46:00.001-07:00

Anton Chigurh: The personification of Death angle

Remember the 2007 flick, No Country For Old Men?

This might interest you.

The 2007 Thriller dealt with themes like fate, conscience and circumstance

It starred Tommy Lee Jones ( Ed) and Javier Bardem (Anton Chigurh) -your Hitman from hell!

Somebody compared Anton Chigurh to the Bubonic plague in the film!

He could decide your continued existence on this earth with a coin toss:... " what's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss?"

An interesting plot point that people might have missed is that the movie is about Death.

The actual theme is Death.

Though the movie seems it's centered around Llewelyn, it's actually about Ed (Tommy Lee Jones) and him being unable to come into terms with the idea of his own, imminent death.

He's not scared of dying, he's terrified of dying. This is why he is so reluctant to retire. To him that's just acknowledging his age and that he is in his final stage of life.

Anton Chigurh is Death himself!

Not just a representation of death, but actually Death itself.

He walks the planet killing people because he is in a way, The Grimm Reaper. He kills those who are able to see him.

Towards the end of the film, when Ed is in the hotel room, investigating Llewelyn's death, Anton is also there hiding. Ed doesn't see him! He wasn't in the room next door, and wasn't hiding in a spot where Ed couldn't easily find him. No. Anton was invisible to Ed because It wasn't time for Ed to die.

Remember when Anton was in that accountants office and he shot and killed the guy at his desk right in front of the other guy? The other guy asks, "Are you going to kill me?" Anton replies, "It depends. Can you see me?" This isn't just a badass line. It's a legit question. Then the scene is done.

In the final scene of the movie, Ed is describing to his wife a series of dreams he had the night before. He goes on to describe how his father was in the dreams, and that his father is much younger than he because he died at a young age. Take a moment to appreciate how erie and poetic that is.

Well, anyway he goes on to explain that he and his father are riding horses. It's dark. And his father rides out ahead of him, representing his death. His father has built a camp fire for him, waiting on Ed's arrival. Waiting on Ed's death. As Ed is describing this vivid dream, he has this look of fear in his eyes, the fear of his own pending death

Posted with Blogsy

Titanic: Old Rose's selfishness

2014-09-02T00:33:00.001-07:00

Titanic: Old Rose's selfishness

Y'all have seen Titanic 1997 ( I hope!! )

In the flick, Old Rose came out to the ocean to die and be with Jack forever!!

@cvanderen79 wrote:

"That touches on something that has bothered me as of late. She went on to live this whole other life after Titanic sank. Career, marriage, kids, and a lot of life in general. That last scene, which I assume is her dying image, of Jack at the top of the staircase with everyone standing around welcoming her. What the hell?!?!

So the man you eventually married and built your life around, had kids with, isn't there??

Where the hell is he?

Shoveling coal down in the boiler room? HA! "

Can't agree with him more!!

So insulting to her husband and kids.

It makes you feel bad for her husband and children, you know

She had spent all those years pining away for some poor guy ( Jack) that she slept with for a couple days on a cruise?

Moral of the story: Don't be like Rose

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.

Posted with Blogsy

Atahuallpa and Pizarro- when Old World collides with New World

2014-08-27T00:56:00.001-07:00

Atahuallpa and Pizarro- when Old World collides with New World

The fate of the 2 men in the pixs below helped to shape the world as we know it today

Pix 1- Atahuallpa (20 March 1497–29 August 1533) - he was the last sovereign Emperor of the the Inca Empire before the Spanish conquest.

He became emperor when he defeated and executed his older half-brother Huáscar in a civil war sparked by the death of their father, Inca Huayna Capac, from an infectious disease (possibly smallpox).

Scholars estimate that the population of the Inca Empire probably numbered over 16,000,000

The empire spanned the whole of Peru, large parts of modern Ecuador, western and south central Bolivia, northwest Argentina, north and central Chile, and a small part of southern Colombia. Pix 3

Thus Atahuallpa was leader of the largest and most advanced state in the New World, the Inca Empire.

Pix 2 -Francisco Pizarro (1476 – 26 June 1541) Spanish Conquistador who represented the Holy Roman Emperor,King Charles I of Spain, monarch of the most powerful state in Europe at the time

Atahuallpa had an army of 80000

Francisco Pizarro, had only 168 soldiers

Battleground- Peruvian highland town of Cajamarca on November 16, 1532.

You'd think that this was a mismatch.

You'd be right in your mismatch thinking but you'd be wrong in the prediction of the outcome.

Atahuallpa and his men walked into an ambush.

Pizarro captured him alive.

Casualties- on the Spanish side 0-5 men

Casualties on the Inca side- several thousands

Check out this YouTube clip describing events on the day-

Immediate reasons for Pizarro's success included:

1. military technology based on guns, steel weapons, and horses ( the Incas had never seen any of these things before)

2. infectious diseases endemic in Europe, which the Europeans were already immune to, but which decimated the Incans when introduced by the former to the latter's continent. In 1519, Small pox had been introduced to the continent by another Spanish conquistador, Hernando Cortes, who defeated the Aztecs of Mexico

The disease killed Atahuallpa's father and set off a war of succession among his sons. Atahuallpa won but you'd think there would be some disunity among his people as a result of this. This might have weakened their defences

3. The Incans also had a highly centralised chain of command, which meant that Atahuallpa was viewed as an 'invincible' god. He was revered by his men. So, once he was captured, it effectively paralysed their forces.

Other factors included:

European maritime technology; the centralized political organization of European states ( King Charles I of Spain sanctioned Pizarro's voyage to the New World and probably arranged the finance ) and writing ( the significance of this last point cannot be underestimated. It is crucial to understanding precedence and it's role in development)

Atahuallpa was hanged after a period of captivity ( he also naively gave the Spanish enormous Gold and silver as ransom. He thought this was a temporary occupation. He didn't know that the Europeans had colonisation in mind)

Despite some resistance by the Incans, the Spanish pillaged the land- taking their gold, silver, their women and colonised South America.

The Spanish conquest of the Inca Empire was one of the most important campaigns in the Spanish colonization of the Americas.

It set the precedence for European colonisation of the United States of America, farther North, later on

Tupac Amaru was actually the the last Inca emperor, he was captured and executed in 1572 by Spanish Conquistadors. His Inca stronghold was the last to fall.

The late Rapper, Tupac Shakur got his name from this Emperor

Posted with Blogsy

Of Governments, Priests, Kleptocrats & Religious Fanatics

2014-08-20T02:46:00.001-07:00

Of Governments, Priests, Kleptocrats & Religious Fanatics

Why is centralised authority ( Government) necessary?

This is how typical interviews of primitive people by a cultural anthropologist went: "..woman after woman, when asked to name her husband, named several sequential husbands who had died violent deaths. A typical answer went like this: "My first husband was killed by raiders. My second husband was killed by a man who wanted me, and who became my third husband. That husband was killed by the brother of my second husband, seeking to avenge his murder."

So, the primary function of centralised authority ( Governments with Kings or Presidents as the head ) was to ensure law and order

(This institute of orderliness originated from Chiefdoms, first described around 7500 BC -where people who weren't related had to coexist without killing themselves.

The chief was a permanent centralized authority, made all significant decisions, and had a monopoly on critical information (such as what a neighboring chief was privately threatening, or what harvest the gods had supposedly promised).

The commoners brought their goods to him and he redistributes them ( thus the farmer got animal products from the Hunter and the Hunter got farm produce from the farmer in this way )

When a large portion of the goods received from commoners was not redistributed to them but was retained and consumed by the chiefly lineages and craftspeople, the redistribution became tribute, a precursor of taxes that made its first appearance in these chiefdoms. )

Unfortunately, these Governments can also function unabashedly as kleptocracies, transferring net wealth from commoners to upper classes- in the process, there is a jettisoning of all the egalitarian ( all men are equal) principles

(Kleptocracy-is a form of political and government corruption where the government exists to increase the personal wealth and political power of its officials and the ruling class at the expense of the wider population, often with pretense of honest service.)

For any ranked society, whether a chiefdom or a state, one thus has to ask: why do the commoners tolerate the transfer of the fruits of their hard labor to kleptocrats?

Because such Kleptocrats run the risk of being overthrown if they lost public support ( via elections, coups, revolutions), they had to devise means to prevent this. These included:

1. Use of the monopoly of force to promote happiness, by maintaining public order and curbing violence.

2. construction of an ideology or religion justifying kleptocracy.

People have supernatural beliefs which originally did not: justify central authority, justify transfer of wealth, or maintain peace between unrelated individuals.

Kleptocrats made such beliefs to gain this function

When such supernatural beliefs gained those functions and became institutionalized, they were thereby transformed into what we term a religion.

From time immemorial, Chiefs ( Kings, Presidents ) have supported a separate group of kleptocrats (that is, priests) whose function is to provide ideological justification for the Chiefs.( Cue visits of Presidents to religious leaders in recent times )

That is why chiefdoms devote so much collected tribute to constructing temples and other public works, which serve as centres of the official religion and visible signs of the Chief's power.

Pix 1: is the dreaded Christian Crusader. The first Crusade was launched on 27 November 1095 by Pope Urban II with the primary goal of responding to an appeal from Byzantine Emperor Alexios I Komnenos, who originally wanted to repel invading Turks.

Pix 2 is that of the late Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire - who built a highly centralized state and amassed a large personal fortune ( $4-15 billion) through economic exploitation and corruption

Pix 4: is Bishop David Oyedepo - who is currently barred from entering the UK

and under scrutiny by the UK authority. In 2012, he had a fleet of private jets and a £93 million fortune

Besides justifying the transfer of wealth to kleptocrats, institutionalized religion brings two other important benefits to centralized societies:

1. shared ideology or religion helps solve the problem of how unrelated individuals are to live together without killing each other—by providing them with a bond not based on kinship or family

2. it gives people a motive, other than genetic self-interest, for sacrificing their lives on behalf of others. ( this is the origin of the religious zealot- the Fanatic)

Thus, at the cost of a few society members who die in battle as soldiers, the whole society becomes much more effective at conquering other societies or resisting attacks.

Naturally, what makes patriotic and religious fanatics such dangerous opponents is not the deaths of the fanatics themselves, but their willingness to accept the deaths of a fraction of their number in order to annihilate or crush their infidel enemy.

Pix 3 is Shakir Wahiyib, the fierce enforcer ( read: cold-blooded murderer) of ISIS ( Islamic State of Iraq & Syria) .

It is said that his face is the last thing his victims see before they lose their heads!

(Inspiration from the book: Guns, Germs & Steel)

Posted with Blogsy