Shauna's Life In Pain

Farewell To Walgreens Pharmacy and a Tsk-Tsk Too

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Wed, 01 May 2013 02:23:00 +0000

A Judgment Call

Walgreens Pharmacy has served me for years, been a partner in my medical care, and been a friend at times when I felt as if the entire system was against me simply because I live with pain every day. (I have also been a long time customer of the entire store) This connection has been built over many years, and as with any part of the management of my pain or other medical issue, is very important. I knew the various staff, I was comfortable. It is sad to lose that.

I am not a 'pharmacy-hopper' or a 'doctor-shopper'. I create long-lasting partnerships in my pain management, including the pharmacy at which I choose to fill prescriptions. After decades of spine and knee surgeries, various procedures, trials and novel treatments, all performed by respected surgeons (Neuro and Ortho) Pain Management physicians and the well-known clinics they practice in; I am a credible and compliant patient with a medical history starting with severe trauma going back to my teens.

One thing that does change over the years is employment, health status, etc., and I have been a customer with various insurances, and also a cash pay customer. One year I paid about $12,000 cash for prescriptions, and I did not spread that love around to other pharmacies, that was all for Walgreens. Ouch.

So why am I leaving Walgreens pharmacy?

Let's start with the phone call.

I was returning a call from the Walgreens pharmacist who was refilling some medications I had submitted via the convenient text & email refill alerts they offer. He had said on the message that there was a "problem with one of the medications" and needed to talk to me. I thought I may know what he was referring to with one of the refills, and was shocked to find out what the 'problem' really was.

Asking what he wanted to talk to me about, the pharmacist said something about a new Walgreens policy regarding pain medications and that he couldn't refill the Soma prescription.

Soma, or Carisoprodol, is a muscle relaxer. Granted, it definitely helps with the deep pain and the movement restriction of severe muscle spasms (ergo why it has been prescribed to me for years) but I beg to differ on his wording. I asked him if he could repeat what he had said.

"We at Walgreens in an effort to protect ourselves and our customers, have a policy regarding certain medications and in all good faith, I cannot dispense this medication at this, or any other Walgreens." I was a bit taken aback and asked him to please repeat himself, and I grabbed a pen & paper. He stated this again, and was definitely reading this statement off a paper. I asked him if this meant that no Walgreens now would fill Soma, and the pharmacist read the same thing to me. He chose to do this instead of talking to me like a person. He was completely ignoring my pertinent, non-argumentative questions. This was very aggravating and I felt it necessary to be 100% clear on what the pharmacist was attempting to get across to me.

I said that I need him to clarify this. He began a another script-reading and I stopped him. I told him I am a nurse, I am not arguing with him, I just needed to understand exactly what he was telling me. Had Walgreens implemented a new rule that certain medications were not to be filled? That doesn't make much monetary sense. Was there some problem with my profile on their system?

Or was this a judgment call?

He refused to speak to me on a human level, and began to re-read the same thing. At this point, I realized there was no getting through to this Pharmacist on the phone. I asked him for his name, and he gave me his first name, which I already had from his voice mail. I asked for his full name, and he hesitated, saying, "I don't usually give my last name", and proceeded to tell me. I asked him to spell it, and he did. I thanked him and hung up. I was never angry or rude, I was calm and respectful.

Speechless, I began writing down everything that was said. I looked his name up on the licensing board, and he looked to be related directly to Walgreens. My friend then called the store and asked for the name of the store manager, who was not in at the time. The assistant manager was eager to help, and gave the name of the Pharmacy manager when asked. The Pharmacy manager is one and the same as the script-reading Pharmacist. Helpful assistant manager asked if he could do anything else, and at the time, that was all that was needed.

Recently, Carisoprodol was introduced into the DEA Schedule as a Schedule IV. (Opiates are a Schedule II, OTC meds are Schedule V) After January 11, 2012, Carisoprodol prescriptions are limited to 6 fills per prescription. (Initial plus 5 refills) I was aware of this change and my doctor's office also, letting me know last year that the doctor would need to write a new prescription to comply with the refill limits due to this change. (The Walgreens I've gone to for years also alerted me to this) Nothing else changed in the filling or refilling of this medication that affected me in any adverse way.

Until now.

Unable to find anything else that would clue me into why this one Pharmacist refused to refill this medication, I decided to go in person, and meet face to face. We had spoken on the phone late, and I went in to his pharmacy the next day. Unfortunately, he was not in, and would return after the weekend. The Pharmacist there was not contracted with Walgreens, and was one of the nicest people I have met lately. Smiling, he answered what he could of my many questions, letting me know that he could not fill the Soma because of what the other Pharmacist had done, and he was unable to override the manager. I expressed my frustration with the pharmacy manager including his lack of communication skills and his inability to just talk to me and explain the situation. I was told that he is quite the 'rule follower' and it was recommended that the prescription be transferred across the street to another pharmacy, I agreed, and that was that. The Soma was filled with no problem. Yet I was not finished with this. Too many unknowns. I dislike unknowns in my own medical care.

A few days later, it was time to fill my monthly pain medication. I have filled this same med at Walgreens Pharmacy for years, just as I have with my Soma. I decided to take the security prescription to the same Pharmacist that had denied my Soma prescription. I felt this would most likely not be a simple fill like usual, as this med is a Schedule II. I was not looking for a challenge, I was hoping to simply meet the Pharmacist and let him see me, hear me, and understand that I am a stable and compliant patient, not a drug-seeker, or anything close to that. If that was his reasoning for denying to refill the Soma, he made that call before he ever left me a voicemail that something was wrong with one of my prescriptions. I could have easily filled this medication at the Walgreens by my physician's office where I have been a customer for years.

Again I went in, and again, the Pharmacy manager was not there, and again, the really nice Pharmacist that doesn't work for Walgreens was. I had to laugh when handing him the prescription for my pain medication saying, "I imagine this will not go over very well considering what happened with my Soma." He had more information this visit about the new rules that required the pharmacy to contact my physician, who then needed to write very detailed notes about my pain, if 'weaker' meds had been tried out, etc., and that this documentation would take a few days, leaving me without medication during this time. I still wanted to speak to the manager. My back was in severe pain and I was unable and unwilling to make a third trip back. I realized then that I was not meant to meet the Pharmacist that had denied me a medication that allows my body some freedom of movement, some sort of help for the severe muscle spasms I have all day long. I realized filling any type of medication related to pain was going to be a problem here. I also realized that this Walgreens Pharmacy was not one that I wanted to be a customer of. (Excluding the non-contracted Pharmacist from all of this-- he was so helpful, with excellent customer service skills and would be a perfect Pharmacy manager).

It didn't take long for me to decide that because of this one Pharmacist's judgment call, who has never met me, who only has a computer screen to 'know' me through, who never said, "why don't you come in tomorrow and I can explain this to you in person"; because of that I am now done with Walgreens Pharmacy altogether.

I recently moved just a few miles further south, and the Walgreens I speak of (with the Pharmacist and his interesting customer service style) would have gotten all of my business, both in the Pharmacy, and in the store. It is convenient in location, it is the same familiar layout, all the little things that go with a place frequently shopped. I did my best to try and establish a new and hopeful long-term relationship with the Pharmacist. No attempt was made to contact me after I had gone in, and I made every effort to speak to him in person.

After my experiences in both nursing and as a patient, I understand there are some people that simply won't budge, who refuse to open up, and are all too quick to judge. Decades of Pain Management have taught me to not waste time in any part of the treatment of my daily pain. Let's all remember: I live with severe spinal pain. I am the patient here. I am not the nurse, the manager, or the lawyer who must plead their case.

When Walgreens Corporate receives my letter including my blogs address so they can read this, will they care? Take note? Respond? Or am I just a person that really doesn't matter to them, even if I am a long-time loyal customer? However it all shakes out, it took only one, one employee, one Pharmacist, one Pharmacy Manager; to quickly bring down what many other Walgreens Pharmacy employees have worked hard to build with me. Tsk-tsk, Mr. B., you should be ashamed.

Oh, and when I filled my meds across the street, it definitely was personal.

Gentle Hugs....

Costotransversectomy Video

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:59:00 +0000

The second Thoracic spine surgery I had was in 2001, called a Costotransversectomy, with discectomy and fusion. At T-9/10, I had an anterolateral disc protrusion, causing severe upper back pain. A highly respected and recommended spine surgeon in Arizona was doing a newer (at the time) anterior approach through endoscopy for cervical and thoracic spines. I was excited at the thought of a few band-aid scars and the easier recovery from a spine surgery without the large paraspinal muscles being cut!

After reviewing my studies, he suggested that the surgeons go with a more traditional approach, and do open back surgery. My Neurosurgeon chose Costotransversectomy, removing a piece of the rib (costectomy) the herniated disc material (corpectomy) and finishing with the hopeful added stability with a fusion of the T9/10 vertebrae.

Costovertebral articulations. Anterior view. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Costotransversectomy was first performed in 1894, by Dr. Menard. In this surgery, the spine is accessed through an open back incision, the proximal rib that attaches to the thoracic vertebrae creating the Costovertebral joints, is cut so as to allow a clear view and room to work on disc, tumor, spur, etc. The simple fact that the ribs are 'in the way' for many thoracic procedures, lends to the use of this approach, and also used for surgery on anterior or lateral herniations, osteophytes, etc. The transverse process of the vertebrae is then cut, leaving a nice view and area to work. This surgery can only be done in the thoracic spine.

Costotransversectomy is a combination word, like most medical terminology. Costo: ribs. Transverse: the transverse process of the vertebrae. Ectomy: the act of cutting out. ('ectomy' is usually preceded by the name of what is to be cut out, i.e., Tonsillectomy- here it is the rib and transverse process).

I found a video of a Costo, and may I note here that I have nothing to do with the soundtrack. Thank the rockin' surgeons at University of Southern California Neurosurgery !!

In this operation, the patient is having work done at the same level as my surgery: T9 to T11. There is also work done on this patient above at T7. It is the approach via Costotransversectomy that is exactly like mine, showing the cutting and resection of the rib and transverse process to visualize the needed area, and it is always interesting for me to see what my spine has had done to it! Also in this video the surgeons insert hardware, and I did not have any put in. Although twelve years later I feel as if the hardware shown in this surgery may give some feeling of stability to my spine.

Note the cut paraspinal muscles and the retractors necessary. Minimally invasive surgery now completely eliminates the need for this, lessening recovery time, and even post-surgical pain.

Enjoy!! Those of you that can watch surgeries that is. ;)

Gentle Hugs....

Cervical and Lumbar Spines: Welcome To The Party!

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 15:26:00 +0000

The trauma to my spine encompassed all levels and the subsequent attempts to correct the damage have revolved (mainly) around my Thoracic spine. This 12-vertebrae level that attaches to the ribs, has been the main source of my pain- but now, the other injured areas in two of the remaining spinal levels are coming out to play.

It is time to formally welcome: Cervical and Lumbar spines to the party called my Life in Pain.

The severe trauma that my spine went through at age 16, is now (at 53) rapidly and suddenly showing in the two spinal levels more commonly known to have disc and spur issues, pain, and/or surgeries. The Thoracic spine is not a level to routinely find herniations, etc., nor to have spinal surgery performed on.

The Cervical and Lumbar spines, however, are often seen on the surgical board for the day. It is common to see procedures and other attempts at 'fixing' these two spinal areas, much more than in the Thoracic spine.

The most uncommon part for me right now, is that I do not know which level to pay attention to, from one day to the next. Even seeing a Spine surgeon is challenging due to the fact that I may be there to see the doc about one level, and the day of the appointment, that level is quiet, yet the other level is screaming out in pain. (This is common to find in Spine patients with a history of spinal trauma/surgeries, and must be accounted for in a patient with a c/o spinal pain; also seen in the randomness of how pain may one day be off the charts, and the next day feel tolerable.)

The Newest Guests and what they bring to the table:

Cervical Radiculopathy Upper extremity, R side, shoulder, arm, hand, thumb, index finger. (Six shooter) L arm/fingers suddenly numb on occasion.

Lumbar Radiculopathy Lower extremity, R side, sciatica, anterior thigh, numb below knee, to toes.

Radiculopathy: The consequence of nerve root damage (from any cause) is known as a radiculopathy (L. radicula = little root; pathos = disease) When the exiting spinal nerve is compressed, usually by disc or arthritic spur, causing severe pain and tingling, leading to numbness of the extremities.

In my Cervical spine, there are again a number of Osteophytes. At C6-C7, they are seen, also disc herniations are a strong possibility of another source of compression. This level's soft tissue studies are not completed as of this writing. C6-7 is the level that would innervate the exact areas I feel painful tingling, electrical shocks, numbness, severe muscle spasms, etc. When the exiting spinal nerve root is compressed, causing radiculopathy, the patient can trace 'like the best anatomist', along the exact nerve path.

For the Lumbar spine, the soft tissue study has been done, and this was ready to be seen online during the visit. However, when I went to the spine surgeon's, the L-spine was not the issue. (Oddly, to match, the entire office system had gone down, rendering my Lumbar CT scan irretrievable online.) That day, that appointment hour, it was all about my Cervical spine. This physician was interested in my entire history of spinal trauma at a young age, the subsequent surgeries and procedures, and he was also very open about his feelings when I relayed the past year's hard work of titrating down the long-acting opiate medication completely to nothing. He was not only moved that I had done that by choice, but obviously very pleased to hear me say that I would never agree to any long-acting opiate in my Pain Management again.

So I am there for a spinal level that isn't even hurting at the time. Trauma/ injuries to multiple spinal levels will often alternate from one level to another. From day to day, down to even hours. I told him about the C-spine showing up suddenly and painfully after a recent rear-end hit and run. He immediately said, "Let's look at that, since that is what's hurting you right now."

I had just gone to the ER for this sudden, scary and very painful Radiculopathy. One of the best ER visits I have ever had. (That is another post--to give kudos--well-deserved by some outstanding medical personnel.) I was in so much pain and with the quickening numbness down my right arm to my fingers, I had to push through the instant, 'No I will not go to the ER for any type of spine-related pain', block wall in my head that instantly arises when I am faced with seeking help for severe pain arising from my spine, and just do it. Most Chronic Pain patients understand this aversion.

So spine doc does some UE (Upper Extremity) strength and reflex tests, feeling and looking strong there, no apparent muscle weakness, and next step is a Nerve Conduction study. Gotta start the ruling out process. Carpal tunnel? Or Cervical spine? We both know the answer.

Either way, the focus has shifted, and the pain is not from and in 'just' my Thoracic spine anymore, but also from the levels above and below-- Cervical and Lumbar are joining the party. They came out to play, and they play hard. May as well give the 'newbies' a nice welcome. ;)

Gentle Hugs.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Did You Know'..........That we have 8 cervical roots? Yet only 7 cervical vertebrae.....

*Because there are only 7 cervical vertebrae despite 8 cervical roots, the root number exiting between two vertebrae is always the number of the lower vertebra. For example, the C5 root exits between the C4-C5 vertebrae and would be effected by a C4/5 disc herniation; the C8 root exits between C7-T1 vertebrae and would be compressed by a C7-T1 disc.

Pain due to a C6 and C7 radiculopathy radiates from the neck and from around the shoulder into outer aspect of the arm and forearm. C6 radiculopathy may cause pain and numbness along the dorsal aspect of the thumb and index finger, C7- pain and paresthesia may radiate into the middle finger.* Exactly what I am experiencing. Down to the exact fingers and location of pain.

*Thanks to Neuroanatomy from Wisconsin U. An excellent resource!

Over The Counter Medications in Chronic Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 22:27:00 +0000

Many patients that suffer from chronic pain use a myriad of different medications, try various modalities, and will try almost anything in an attempt to obtain some sort of respite from the unrelenting assault to the body and mind.

Recently having ended nearly a decade of pain management physician-prescribed Morphine for the chronic pain in my spine, I find that the use of OTC (Over the Counter) medications are finding a definite place in my changing arsenal of treatments.

When opiates are prescribed and used as a part of your Chronic Pain Management program, it is common to see non-opiates either blended with the opiate, or used as an adjunct medication.

The most common OTC med found in opiates is Acetaminophen or APAP. (Brand name Tylenol) Most people have had some experience with Vicodin, being the most widely prescribed medication in the U.S. Vicodin (brand name) or Hydrocodone (generic) is mixed with APAP, and shown as the bottom number in all forms of the drug. Example= 5/500 means that there is 5 milligrams of Hydrocodone, and 500 milligrams of APAP. These are seen in the brands Loracet, Loratab and Norco.

There are dosage limits with any medication, and in the use of Acetaminophen, it is very important not to exceed 4,000 milligrams. Especially with long-term use, damage to the liver can occur, among other issues. I advocate patient education, and learning about the medications you use, including the dosage limits, is something everyone that is prescribed medication could benefit from. Your doctor loves a well-educated patient!

Coated 200 mg ibuprofen tablets
(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Also seen mixed into opiates is the OTC med Ibuprofen. Commonly used with Hydrocodone, this medication can be found under the name brand 'Vicoprofen' for example. The maximum dose per day of this OTC medication is 2.4 grams, or 2400 milligrams. 800 mgs. 3 times a day.

Used to augment a prescribed opiate, or alone as an adjunct to a non-opiate pain management program, these easy to obtain and relatively affordable over the counter medications are an excellent way to help manage your pain. Along with many, many others who experience life with the constant companion called PAIN, I understand that my pain is managed, not obliterated. That is reserved for after surgeries now, and living life without a long-term opiate pain medication is awesome--not only in it's clarity, but also in it's depth of my experience of pain.

I believe that when a chronic pain patient comes to a deep understanding that life will most likely be pain management vs. (total) pain relief, life will feel less on edge. If we lower expectations, and move towards acceptance of the situation, what we are dealing with this day, this pain, this life, well, it may just seem a little more tolerable.

Even a little less pain is a very good thing.

Gentle Hugs....

38 Years in 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 03:08:00 +0000

We welcome in a brand new year, and as writing this blog quickly approaches five years, I have attempted to write a type of 'wrap up for the year', note down the greatest lessons learned, touching on the events that held the most weight during the past year in my life in pain.

This has been the one year in my life that has had the most consistent influx, almost a tangible flow, of challenges...Beginning with the fall in January flat onto my vertebrae, followed 10 days later by the loud POP in my knee, tearing a meniscus; a lumbar nerve causing severe anterior thigh pain/sciatica with a totally numb leg (below the knee) and finishing with a Cervical issue that has given me strong shoulder and arm pain at the very end of the year. 2012 has given me more direct acute pain than I have had to deal with for a long, long time.

Regions of the cerebral cortex associated with pain. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The interesting thing is that along with my decision to decrease my opiate intake this year, come many reasons to go right back to them. Strength of character truly comes into play when faced with such great and direct assault to the brain. I had made my decision, and I stuck with it.

My checklist for the past year looked a bit like this:

1. Find answer to right knee injured in January.
2. Find a competent Orthopedist to diagnose and treat said injury.
3. Drastically lower pain medications for my chronic spinal pain.
4. Find and secure a reputable and holistic pain management doctor/center.

And the outcomes:

1. Achieved a proper diagnosis for knee injury.
2. Found a fantastic, competent Orthopedist.
3. Reduced short-acting opiate intake for pain by 80% and completely stopped the long-acting medication!!
4. Appointment secured for return to a Pain Center (and the Doctors) who have treated me successfully in the past, and whom I trust.

Then there are the Miracles:

1. Given a great place to live when things looked down.
2. Endured a huge opiate decrease, and total cessation of the long-acting one, alone, with no physician guidance.

And I save the best for last......also filed under miracle:

Unexpectedly reunited with my boyfriend from High School, and 38 years later, we are back in each others arms. Both of us consider this a true miracle, the Lord's master plan in the largest of pictures, for as he put it, "It's like a Treasure Chest that has been locked up for 38 years, you brought the key and once the lid blew off, there was no stopping this." He is my friend-- a man I have always loved to be around, who makes me laugh more than anyone ever before. The comments from our long-time friends have made us both break down in tears of disbelief- at the utter depth of their love, of true friendship, of such deep caring that a person they love is truly happy in life, being who they are, and accepted for exactly that.

For this unexpected, beautiful miracle in my life, I will be forever grateful.

Gentle Hugs....all through 2013

"It's Not Your Knee, It's Your Spine"

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 04:33:00 +0000

A Red Herring

Last weeks emergency visit to my Orthopedist was a visit full of questions, discussions, studying information not previously seen, and an ending diagnosis that was not what I hoped to hear, although I will reveal that I knew this was the root cause of this acute and severe nerve pain running down the anterior thigh.

The best part of this: I have a competent doctor, my questions are answered, and I know which direction I am heading. It's always so freeing to know what exactly is the root of my pain. We're not there yet, but I must say that I am quite impressed with this Orthopedic Surgeon.

Another Red Herring in my life with this destroyed spine. (*Red herring: noun, An English-language idiom that commonly refers to a type of logical fallacy in which a clue is intentionally or unintentionally misleading or distracting from the actual issue.)

First time an RH happened was 1996, year of my first Thoracic spinal surgery. Something else was focused on, leading the physicians away from the cause and leaving me still suffering from the pain of the original issue while the Red Herring was taken care of.

16 years later, this one is an interesting combination of an actual injury that could cause this type of pain, making it even more challenging to get to the root of the matter.

I like docs who have recently been in training of sorts, whether it be a resident, etc., or a physician that has his entire career in front of him, excited, driven, actively determined to find what is wrong with his patients. This doctor is one, very clear, and above all, he uses really great descriptive words when explaining something to me. The kind of medical terms that aren't normally used in most physician/patient interactions. I love it. I learn so much, it's like a class mixed in with a visit. I am looking up words after each visit!

As he reviewed the standing Xrays that he ordered, I got out a copy of the most recent CT scan of my Thoracic spine, wanting to make sure that he had as much information as possible. Although we were studying the knee, having that spine report was invaluable to the total patient view, a Holistic view.

Then it was time to manipulate the knee joint. After finding a spot that was extremely tender to palpation (that would later receive a Depomedrol injection) he asked me to lie down, supine with my legs straight out on the exam table. I moved from sitting on the side of the table, and swung my legs around to lie down. Oh. Hold on! Not happening. I could not lower my torso and my leg at the same time. I was stuck in a little 'v' shape, unable to move any more.

Severe, sudden pain shooting from my uppermost thigh down to the knee hit, the reason I was there a week early, not able to deal with it for another 7 days. With my history of living with pain, this indicates an acute issue that demands immediate attention, for I am not one to run to the doc when it hurts. This is that acute pain, nerve pain. Stinging, it slams into your brain. I can't help but think of James Franco in !27 Hours when he cuts the nerve in his arm. It's the worst part of everything that had to be severed. Nerve pain--The kind of pain that screams at you, shouts- and shouts loud, and you know you are not moving. It burns, hits like an electrical jolt. As I struggled just to get into position, I saw the doc watching it all, not helping me, just watching, and a look came over his face. One of AHA! The final question seemed to cap it all off for him, "Do you get numb in your leg below the knee, as in your feet?" I answered "Yes, when I am driving", and that was that.

That's when I knew what I was going to hear, which direction this road will take me. The good doc had a couple more positions he wanted me in that I just couldn't pull off, so the knee exam was cut a bit short. He left to look again at the MRI of my knee, and also went in for a quick chat with his partner, a spine surgeon. He asked me to walk out in the hallway so his partner could observe my strange, bent-over gait. I can't stand up straight, it exacerbates the nerve pain to the inability to walk.

The diagnosis? Suspect Sciatica with acute nerve compression, most likely in the upper Lumbar spine. Next stop is an L-spine MRI. Last one I had was '02, it is basically a read of my Thoracic spine study, herniations, bulky osteophyte complexes, blah blah. I am looking forward to seeing the changes over 11 years.

I am putting up my standing Xrays in the next post, which is already written and was ready to go, but that was before Ms. Screaming Nerve decided to speak up, helping us to get to the bottom of this, but really disrupting my writing groove, man. ;)

Gentle Hugs.......

Meniscus Tear and Proper Care

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 06:41:00 +0000

The knee joint is the largest joint in the body. An incredible blend of many types of connective tissue, muscles, bone, synovial fluid, all coming together to form a joint strong enough to act as a shock absorber, among other things, for our body in motion.

Think of all the requirements we ask of our knees every day. Simply the act of squatting is such a ballet for everything to come together just so; then enabling us to lift our body weight by rising up from that position. Pretty amazing!

I injured my knee in January 2012, simply by stepping up from the floor, using my right knee to take my weight. I do not remember any twisting while pulling myself up, but I will never forget the POP that happened when I was 2/3 up. It was very loud, and it also had that feeling of something absolutely breaking in the knee.

By that simple act of stepping up, I tore a meniscus. And possibly cracked off a piece of bone, seen in the Xrays I previously published, shown here again. Since my last surgery on this knee, there hasn't been any reason for studies, so the bone fragment seen in the Xray could have been there since 2002. Either way, I was lead astray by an incompetent physician, an Orthopedic Surgeon to be specific.

Sent to see this specialist in March of this year, for an answer of what happened, how to get off the crutches and out of the brace asap, etc. I showed up with my Xrays in hand (required or he wouldn't see the patient) the MRI had been done in February, and the report was there (also required for the appointment) and I brought an MRI of this knee-- post-op 2nd surgery in '02 for comparison. I like to come as prepared as possible to doctors, bringing anything I can to assist them in my care.

The Orthopedist bustled in the exam room, looking at my chart instead of me most of the visit, writing, he was hard to understand as his accent is quite thick, he did not give me any information about the results of my studies. He didn't initiate any conversation about the results that were so important to bring to him. So, I asked what the MRI showed.

"Osteoarthritis" was the automatic answer to every question. "What about that alien piece of bone on the lateral side?", I asked. I got the blanket answer again. OA. I know that OA doesn't cause sudden, scary loud POPS followed by a locked knee, severe pain, inability to bear any weight, worsening effusion readily apparent, basically all the classic S/S (Signs/symptoms) of an acute injury, ending with an ER doc putting me in a brace and on crutches after the Xray results and examination of the knee. I then wanted to go over the MRI report with him, but he was one of 'those' docs that are in a hurry, they let you know it, how busy they are, no time, no time, surgeries are waiting you know, and before I knew it I was offered a shot in the knee joint to help relieve the pain, and a 'see me again if you have any more pain'. I left thinking: well at least I don't have any acute injuries, as I crutched my way down to the car. The Marcaine shot helped of course, and I felt better and eventually got off crutches feeling stronger as I healed from whatever POP I had heard.

9 months go by.....I do a little weeding, some deep squatting (with the right leg out in front of me) some acrobatics here and there, and this month, it all came back. And hard. I knew in my heart that something was still wrong, and I had to find out.

I have a torn meniscus, I finally found that out when I asked my primary doc to read me the MRI report. I went in to him, for one reason. To get the full scoop on my knee, and to ask/demand another specialist to evaluate it. A '2nd opinion' was requested with another Orthopedic surgeon, which made me giggle, as I never had a 1st opinion.

Ahhhhh modern healthcare. The Era of do-it-yourself-medicine.

I am seeing the Orthopedic Surgeon in a week, and I am not leaving that office until every single one of my questions have been answered, I have gone over both my Xray and MRI with the Dr, and I know that this physician has formulated some sort of treatment plan.

Time for some RICE: Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation

Gentle Hugs........

Staying Positive in a Life With Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 11:43:00 +0000

At times of silence, it is there that I find my peace.

In a daily struggle with pain, feeling beat down is very common, and can affect us all negatively. Taking the time to be still, to assess the way you are actually living your life, will also pay off in the sensation and level of pain experienced. Take a look at your choices of how your life in pain is expressed. And remember, Chronic Pain is along for the ride--each day. These days add up (oh so quickly) and this is your life.

Attitude is about 90% of the ability to enjoy life. If your life has a constant companion called pain, being positive is the only way to make it through.

Interesting, Chronic Pain. As a Hospice nurse, I have seen many who were experiencing pain. These amazing people knew that they were spending their last months here. I know there are people out there who are battling many diseases, such as cancer, brutal even in it's name, and can be likewise in it's pain.

I have always written honestly, and lately I have been contemplating those in worse situations than mine. (This is obvious to all of us who deal with any illness) I have never said here that I am to be pitied or am I asking for sorrow from others. Actually, it is the complete opposite. Yet my heart breaks for others. All the time. This empathy also keeps things in focus.

In staying positive in attitude, I can gather enough strength through my own battle with pain, to write and pass to others how much I care and hope that they, too, can access this attitude and see the beauty that lies in wait. Focusing on anything but the pain, acts as another deterrent, a tool to use when you have lost yourself. Lost yourself IN yourself! Focus outwards.

Negativity only brings with it negative thoughts. Just as we have seen how getting proper medical care for Chronic Pain can leave you feeling down, depressed, as if no one cares. It is so easy, so very simple, to follow that train of thought and down you go, along with the thoughts. Thinking about yourself. I am not being a Pollyanna here, knowing firsthand how chronic pain can affect nearly every aspect of life.

Having been at the bottom of depression, I refused to return. Only I can take charge of how I choose to deal with the situation handed to me. A twisted, mangled spine? Me? But I can walk! I can still enjoy my life! But I 'Look So Good'! It is rare for me to tell anyone that just because they can't see it, I hurt. ALL the time. That is reserved for the people that know me well, and make it comfortable for me to speak openly about what is going on with my spine, how I am doing with the lowered medications, how my pain levels are, and I feel the caring and true interest from them.

Why yak on about how I hurt? No one really wants to hear complaining. I believe in honesty (and wish it was that easy and simple for others) but I choose not to include that part of me quite as openly as I am with most other subjects. I support the fact that hiding the subject of Chronic Pain is not the way to go about life, I am speaking of how I have chosen to deal with the subject in my interactions with most people. It's kind of like, "Don't call me, I'll call you", in that I don't bring it up, but I will be 100% honest if asked.

It is here that I remember how much I am blessed to be here. I am alive. I wasn't ejected out the doors when the van rolled over. I am walking. I am very content in life. Whatever road took me here, part of it was my journey in pain. Many years I have had this companion. Always a partner, always along for the ride.

Nature's beauty, the daily newness of this world, wonderful people that weave into my path, pull my thoughts outward, and I decide that my pain is not going to keep me down. I refused that a long time ago. Brush away the negative thoughts and try to see that you alone, carry the ability deep within you, to choose how you are going to view the world and how you fit into it, pain or not.

I am writing in pain right now. Most of the words you read on my site were written in pain. Yet that does not have to immediately be followed by anger, self-pity, negativity, or giving up. I have dealt with pain for years. Every damn day. Oh, I went through all the negative steps. I went down. Way down.

Never to return again to that way of thinking--with great determination and passion for my own life and well-being, I pulled myself up and out of that world. Be aware of who surrounds you, for negativity is not what you want in life at this juncture. Want to feel happier? Hang with those who make you laugh, or better yet, laugh at your jokes! Realize that those who we love are watching us, our children especially, and as they still learn through this excellent passive learning method, isn't it better for everyone if you took the reins and blazed the path for happier times?

You will feel as if the world opened up. Just for you. The sunsets have always been a special time, and now is no different, watching each one with wonder. Hard to believe there was a time in which I really didn't give a crap one way or the other if the sun was even going to rise.

So. Cal Sunset
Photo credit: Shauna Harrelson

A sunrise to a Chronic Pain patient may feel like just another day of misery. It does not have to be so! Regardless of the etiology of the pain, there is no rule that those in pain need to look, act, or sound like they are hurting. Possibly mean and grouchy; angry at all the wrong people. When letting go of the concept that the invisible pain needs to be outwardly shown, attempting to prove something I suppose (since there is usually no apparent Medical Equipment) everything changes.

I have been told how strong I am, how much passion I have in sharing my life in pain, helping others cope with their lives in pain, and this is rounded off with medical professionals sharing with me that some of the most resilient people they know are those living with Chronic Pain. We must learn how to deal on a daily basis with pain, serious pain, for life. Quite a daunting challenge- no? And on top of this coping, we are better off to do it all in a positive manner. Now that all sounds a bit overwhelming, and this takes time. I had to go through the darkness to come into the light. I had to be angry before I could be happy. I had to feel sorry for myself before I could come to a place of peace.

Finding the peace is the journey. And every journey has it's unexpected moments. Have a good time getting there, for life is what happens while we're busy making other plans. (John Lennon)

Gentle Hugs....

The Next Chapter--More Surgery?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 07:44:00 +0000

Nearly 5 months since my decision to decrease opiate pain medications, I am now feeling every single herniation, osteophyte, impinged nerve, spinal cord compression, etc., in my spine. All 12 levels of my Thoracic spine are herniated, with multiple bulky disc/osteophyte complexes, ligament calcification/hypertrophy, nerve impingement, costo/vertebral issues, spinal stenosis, and more. The Thoracic Spine is the root of 95% of my pain.

Stenosis of the Spine | Illustration of Spinal Stenosis | Spine Doctor in Vail, Colorado (Photo credit: neckandback)

I am proud of myself for sticking with my plan, decreasing medications, to a now 75% reduction. I have also been doing this on my own. My physicians are aware, of course, but no 'support' to speak of, except for the consistent encouragement from those who care about me. (Including online support) I am happy I did it, the process (and it certainly is a process) is not fun to experience. Not something many would enjoy. **If you are also decreasing your medications for chronic pain, or considering it, I have only positive feelings about that decision. It is a personal, yet an important medical step, in that what will follow, must be planned or at the least, discussed with your treating physicians. Keep on the road you have started out on. It is brave and courageous for many in pain have been told that without the meds, living will be a challenge. (Living in the sense of any quality of life.) I beg to differ. Quality of life is subjective, just like pain.

Treating the cause is more important to me now than ever going back to straight medication management. There is more out there for you than a life taking pills and not really feeling that good anyway! Personal knowledge of others in chronic pain are many, the stories are so varied, some have either sunk into the 'poor me' category, or/and have gone the pill route big time, with non-compliance in taking too many, to selling them on the side. Hang in there if your choice is to decrease or stop altogether. I received wonderful emails from others in pain who are also either decreasing (and feeling better) or have stopped medication. Another reason why writing here has great benefit in support from others that are experiencing the same thing. Thank you to all who shared your story with me and gave me such encouragement! So that chapter is now over, and I move on to the next.

What is next to be written? What is to come and what process am I to go through next?

The level of damage in my spine is such that my options are to FIX the anatomy, or to COVER the pain from that damage. I have been doing the latter. It obviously was not the long-term answer for me.

For now that I have decreased to this point in my meds, the pain has returned, with a vengeance. This pain and the sensation is totally different than anything I've felt before. This is a 'Mechanical' pain.

What is happening, is now that I have lowered meds to a bare minimum, I feel vertebrae moving, I hear them 'popping' which I believe is a slipping, I am able to really sense what the cause of many things are. My instability feeling-common in spinal stenosis, FBSS and other issues, has gotten worse. (My neck is also popping/grinding).

I fell in January onto my spine, onto concrete, I am sure I broke ribs, and cracked vertebrae, or further injured my spine. My pain doc immediately ordered an Xray to rule out fracture of either. Two weeks later I hurt my knee (which I recently was informed has multiple injuries--totally different than originally told to me) so the direct fall on my back went to the back burner. I must remember this is very serious, and I need to start paying more attention to the root of my pain. What I did to it when I hit the concrete must be addressed.

For the past 9 years, I have felt as if I need a rod down my Thoracic spine, to feel stable again. I began searching online for Thoracic surgery, and I found not only a surgery exactly like mine in 2001 (Costotransversectomy with fusion is not a common surgery) but also discovered Minimally Invasive Spinal Surgery. At the University of San Diego, a team of dedicated spine surgeons strive to improve the disadvantages of open spinal surgery, taking full advantage of all the new equipment that helps the surgeons view the patient from many angles, still ending with simple band-aids over the entry points, even though there may be screws, rods, and other hardware inside.

The cutting of the muscles necessary to obtain the proper views in spine surgery, so as to isolate nerves, spinal cord, etc., results in a long recovery, post-op pain, and continuing pain. The muscles that 'run along' the spine, commonly called the Paraspinal muscles, are actually a group of muscles that do not run in a parallel line at all. I am speaking of the superficial muscles of the back.

In the method being used now, small incisions are made to insert the camera, and others to insert the instruments needed. I would need multiple levels worked on, and in the non-invasive method, this may be something I could recover from without the extreme post-op pain and long recovery and rehabilitation, simply due to muscles being cut.

It says a lot for me to even be talking about another surgery. And this is not 'just' one or two things being fixed. The choices I have had for many years have been few, regarding the available methods to treat my pain. I have said since the Costo in '01 that I would not have another surgery, and I concentrated on proper and thorough pain management. Eleven years later, I am ready to try something else.

Thanks for the support and telling me your own stories.

Gentle Hugs....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This song inspires me by the energy it holds, it puts me in a great mood, and I have adored Freddy & Queen since they were played over here in the US. Kind of an ironic tie I have to them, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was playing on the radio the night of the rollover accident. Because I was blindfolded, my hearing was heightened, and that song is forever engraved in my mind as the soundtrack to that slow-motion night.

*Only Freddie can play the piano just by standing near it. ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this one....an acoustic 12 string played beautifully by Brian May and a tenor such as Freddie? Amazing.

Sharing the Sadness

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 20:27:00 +0000

Writing today was interrupted in reading of the sudden and untimely passing of Jennifer Jaff Esq., who fought for those with a Chronic Illness.

She founded Advocacy For Patients with Chronic Illness, was the executive director, and was a lawyer that worked tirelessly fighting for the civil rights of those who have Chronic Illnesses, and all the while she endured her own chronic illness, Crohn's disease.

Jennifer was a bright spot in the sometimes dark and cruel world that faces individuals with Chronic Illness. Hidden, apparent, or the kind that sits silent- waiting to rear it's ugly head at any time; Chronic Illness is an awesome foe to deal with on a daily basis. She faced discrimination on airplanes, due to her chronic illness, and wrote about these experiences, captivating her readers with her descriptiveness and honesty. She let us feel that we were not alone in this journey.

Thanks friend, I never met you, but you touched my heart.

Have a swift journey.

Gentle Hugs....

Decreasing Opiates Safely

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 09 Sep 2012 01:03:00 +0000

I needed some time to go by in this new chapter of my life before attempting to write with some sort of authority on the subject of decreasing your opiate medication, in a safe and smart manner. It is one thing to know this medically, and quite another to actually go through it.

I need to remember how long I have been taking these medications. This is not even close to the "withdrawal" I went through when stopping one opiate med after my 2nd surgery.

I have been taking a long-acting opiate for baseline pain, and another for breakthrough pain. Two medications are common in Chronic Pain Management, one to keep the baseline pain at a decent level, the other for the spikes that feel like acute pain on top of the usual long-lasting pain.

Because I am dealing with two medications, this may not apply to you exactly, but the steps are basically done the same, and each will be discussed separately.

*DECREASING LONG-ACTING OPIATE PAIN MEDICATIONS

First, what is your dosage? Do you take one a day? Three? How often? These are usually not PRN (as needed) and prescribed to take around the clock, to cover the baseline pain.

If you are taking a long-acting opiate, it will most likely be a time-release coated pill or a capsule with small beads inside, and I am not going to address the use of patches (such as Fentanyl).
A coated pill is really not meant to be broken, a capsule must be taken whole. This is very important. If you use capsules, please do not alter these in any way and ask your physician about how to reduce your meds. *I am only relaying how I have successfully decreased my medications, this has been with the supervision of a physician. Please make sure your physician is aware and supports your decision to decrease. You may even hear cheering!

The idea behind the ER (Extended Release) coated tablets, is when the digestion begins, the coating will release slowly, a small bolus dose to get the med in the system, then slowly release the remainder of the pill. Some of these are prescribed to take q12h (every 12 hours) or q8h, which shows the amount of time the release takes place.

Safety measures have been placed into this type of medication also. Many long-acting opiate meds are designed to become gel-like if the coated tablet is chewed, or the pellets in the capsules are manipulated. The coagulated gel will stick to teeth, has an unpleasant taste, and is generally exactly what addicts don't want when attempting to alter long-acting opiates to become a short-acting. This does not work and is there for a great reason for these safety measures that help to deter the rapid absorption of the opiate. This can cause decreased respiratory rate, heart rate, and many have succumbed to these quiet killers, when not taking these medications as prescribed.

I have the coated pill, it is tiny, and due to not wanting another script of this med with a lower milligram dose, I have no choice but to break the pills I have, into sections while I am decreasing my dosage. I do not chew the pill pieces, or break them with my teeth. The pill needs to stay dry, to avoid the gel issue. From 3 per day, I am down to a half a pill a day. A DAY. I have been decreasing over 3 months, and I simply went from 3/d to 2/d. Easy. Good way to start. Then is a much bigger step, from 2/d to 1 1/2/d to 1/d. It was during these steps that I started to feel withdrawal symptoms. Remember, I am doing this with two opiate meds at the same time, so the w/d sx (withdrawal symptoms) are going to reflect both decreases.

As I stated above, I could have gotten a script for a lower milligram (mg) of this medication, but when I made the decision to go as low as humanely possible on opiates, the focus is JUST DO IT!!! I don't want to go through long, endless months of slow decreases.

Decrease the medication by 1/3 to start. Sounds huge, and you can choose to do a much longer decrease (I have not really addressed the pain issue--obviously if the pain is unbearable with any decrease, immediately contact your Dr.) but I chose to begin this way. It worked well, as 3/d can go down to 2/d. A 1/3 decrease off the bat! Then you are left with the other 2/3, which meant 2 pills/d. These are prescribed to be taken q8h, and I had lengthened it to q12h. Keep the frequency, and reduce the dosage. Then decrease the frequency, while continuing decreasing the dosage.

To stop my baseline pain opiate medication, I am now breaking it into very small amounts, and with the mgs. so low already, I am about ready to stop completely. After 8 years of having this substance in my body, I am almost completely done.

When you experience the feelings that come with lower medication in your system, you will be happy you did this. It is freeing, exciting, and scary at the same time somehow. The drop in my pain levels is another post, but I am so happy to report that they have not gotten worse.

And THAT makes this all so much more beautiful.....

I am also very intrigued with how much of this decrease is in the mind. I was ready. I was prime for doing this right now. As with anything else in life, we much decide in our hearts and minds that the action we are choosing to do, will going to result in something positive. Keep that attitude, and more than 50% of the stopping is taken care of. Motivation and determination can conquer anything.

I will address decreasing your short-acting opiate medication in the next post.

**Thank you to all who gave me such support, encouragement and love through this change in my life. My sweet friends that read and take the time to tell me how they feel. Those who wrote to me, well, you know how I feel. You are all so very special and sharing your stories with me is touching, and kudos for the openness. Thanks to all of you. <3 nbsp="nbsp" p="p">

Gentle Hugs...

~~~~~For Jeff--my inspiration, my cheerleader, my rock, my friend, my dear son.

The Winds of Change

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 06 Aug 2012 01:17:00 +0000

In the past few months, I have been experiencing a series of events that have led up to a change in my life of pain.

Virtually unable to explain how this has made me feel, I can say that I am happier, more positive, and much more in control of my life than I have in a long, long time.

Taking back control had to be the key in this equation. I was locked in, a puppet, a reactor, and I am tired of that. Waiting for others to pull my strings, as I sit limp, wanting things to happen, but not in control of any part of the situation.

I assessed myself, and saw what it was that had to be done to continue in a healthy, positive, safe manner in my pain management, and my life in general. The emotional and psychological effects, that were a result from the endless waiting, the not knowing, the uncertainty, the incompetence, and always being at someone else's whim; were grinding me down.

Over the past months, I have been silently and quietly decreasing my dosage of pain medications. With help from my beloved ex-pain doctor, and my wonderful primary care physician, my intake of medication is drastically lower. This is a survival strategy, not a pain management strategy. Although it is a well known practice for pain patients to be detoxed or weaned off when pain keeps increasing despite high doses of medications. Then pain is assessed in a medication-free (or greatly reduced) body.

When I wrote the post about being prepared to get ON opiates, I received one particular email from a pain patient that talked about making the decision to decrease their medications. I found that interesting, probably because I was smack in the middle of all these other factors and events and people that were all a part of my decision. It was just another 'factor' that showed up. And became a new friend!

This is an extremely personal decision, just like starting on medications like so many pain patient choose to do when there is nothing left to do to help the constant pain. This is also something that (similar to starting meds) must be followed closely by a doctor.

When the winds blew in, I was ready for change. This seems to be one of the best and most positive changes I have made recently, for I feel great, and most important, my pain is under control at this time. The way the Universe came together over the past months has intrigued me, swept me up, put me back in the Captain's chair, and even touched my cheek softly as it blew past and out the window.

I am the Captain again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*The subject of decreasing medications safely and keeping track of it all, calls for another post, which I am looking forward to sharing.

Gentle Hugs....

Were You On My Bloglist?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 05 Aug 2012 23:54:00 +0000

A quick interim post to ask that those bloggers that know they had a link here; to send me your updated addresses so I can get a new one started. When I changed from Blogger hosting to a .com, everything transferred over great except for my hard-worked-on lists of sites I've collected over 4 1/2 years. It is probably on a template, but it would be great to have everyone's updated site addys!!

Thanks friends,

Gentle Hugs....

In the Sea of Pain-- Without A Captain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 23 Jul 2012 04:34:00 +0000

I am truly alone in my fight with Chronic Pain due to my severely damaged spine.

For the past seven years, I have had a trusted partner to work with in my search for pain relief.

I have written about the importance of having your Pain Management Physician being your true partner in finding solutions to for your pain. At the moment, I am floating in the Sea of Pain, without a Captain. No one to drive the ship, to direct the crew, to give knowledge and ideas.

It is a dangerous place to be alone, this Sea of Pain. And scary too.

(Photo credit: arichards63)

After seven years of being guided by my wonderful Pain Management physician, there have been changes in insurances and medical groups, and because of these reasons, I can not see my trusted pain doctor anymore.

I'm thrown back into looking again. Starting brand new. Kinda rusty at this. 7 years. Bleh.

Those who have begun their search for a PM (Pain Management) doctor, know that just finding one is the first step, but not the easiest step. Proximity must be considered, (insurance coverage should be established before the search begins) then physician availability is next.

Waiting for your first appointment with a PM doctor is expected. The first visit is important, but this will continue to be an important person in managing your life of pain. Your LIFE of pain. **Chronic Pain can be overwhelming to look at, as it has no expiration date, it's a lifetime of management.

When a relationship has been established with a PM doctor, it hurts to lose that. That takes time, years, seasons. Things change, life changes over 7 years. My Dr. and I had an excellent rapport, he was interested, listened, had such insight and understanding, spoke the same language of pain, and most of all: he believed everything I said. This is an important part of the doctor/patient relationship in any diagnosis, but with chronic anything, the patient must access care frequently, and on an ongoing basis.

He knew I was a compliant patient, and never called in early for refills, etc. He was like a psychologist, a psychiatrist, an internist, a spine specialist; and my most trusted partner in the care of my spine. I trusted him, and he trusted me.

(Photo Credit--By Brocken Inaglory)

He saw me on days I didn't think I could handle anymore pain, anymore depression (that comes with the outlook on the rest of life being this painful) and days I sailed in with a smile. He knew that I could be both. He expected both. He knew I didn't have to put on any show, change anything about who I am, I just was me. Walking in with a bounce in my step and a smile, gave him the relief of knowing that our choices, made together, and guided by him, were working.

He is going to be a tough act to follow.

Gentle Hugs....

Broken Backs, Strong Women

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 08:28:00 +0000

Frida Kahlo. A woman whom I admire for her fierceness and strength, her desperation, broken back, her life in pain, and her ability to put her exact situations and deepest feelings onto canvas that spoke loudly to all that see them.

Frida was in a terrible bus accident when the bus she was riding in was T-boned by a streetcar. She was 16. Her spine was fractured in multiple levels, along with breaks and fractures all over her body. The accident changed her life, and she would never be the same again. She dealt with chronic pain for the rest of her life, and handled it the only way she knew how. The only thing any of us can do, when our lives are changed by a traumatic physical and emotional event like an accident.

'Broken Column'

This is my favorite painting by Frida. When I first laid eyes on this, I felt immediately as if I was understood. She understood. She understood me-- she painted my spine! I have said for years that it feels like my spine is crumbling, maybe a rod or some type of scaffolding could give me more stability. Frida painted her crumbling spine. The pain is expressed; woman, beauty, strength, vastness, endless, braced, holding on, nails of pain hit the heart, head, thoughts, desires, dreams, lost abilities, loss of trust. Our bodies betrayed us. Wrong place, wrong time? Can it really be that simple? One moment. Life changing.

I was in a single vehicle rollover car accident. I was 16. The out of control van carrying many young women swayed from side to side, as the driver laughed and yelled, "There's a cat!" (hard swerve) "There's a dog!" (hard swerve the other way) until she saw too many animals and we were on 2 wheels for a moment before we began to roll. Through a grove of trees, not hitting one. I was blindfolded the entire time, as this was a pickup of all the girls that had just found out they made the squad for Senior year cheerleader, and the idea was for us to end up at a party to celebrate. Obvious to say that our van's cargo, did not make it.

I tumbled in the back of that van, like a shoe in a dryer. Loose, on the floor, with nothing to hold me down, I freely flew while we rolled. Me and another gal were the only ones not put in a seat. We both had neck, back and lower extremity problems with pain immediately. It changed both of our lives.

Everything was put into perspective when the firemen said that if the wheelchair lift had not been on the back of the van, the doors would have flown open, ejecting both of us out the back.

The strength found in women, to go on with life after we know our bodies have been traumatized, and will not be the same from that day, amazes me. We are the nurturers, the mothers, the lovers. Physically, my body (spine) has betrayed me. Is betraying me. It just keeps breaking. Falling apart. It is a broken column.

As my column crumbles, my desire to fight grows. I have faced (and continue to face) many obstacles because of this great, broken column. The physical--surgeries, long recoveries, years of various procedures, failed surgeries and trials, tests that show serious and continuing damage, and the pain; And the mental--exhaustion, depression, frustration, anger, while constantly working on coming to terms with a body that is never going to get better. Oh, and the pain. Also filed under Mental obstacles.

Yet through this, the strength shines. The desire to survive, to go on, to face challenges head-on and not flee, always wins. (Yet how temping it is sometimes to run.) Finding this part of yourself if you also live in pain, should not be hard. I believe that those who face each day in pain, are some of the strongest I know. Pain makes us want to do anything that will stop it. Pain is an awesome foe, it carries such power. It is here that we have no choice than to steadily grow.

Most of us in chronic pain, know that there are slim to no chances that it will ever go away. Armed with this knowledge, we concoct our game plan. How to fight this battle. Every single day. Life can be so overwhelming at times without physical pain, and to study how we keep going despite having pain, I find that living with pain bumps us up a notch. Up to a level of emotional strength that serves to do exactly what we need in our lives. I think it is nothing short of amazing.

Whether it is a broken back/crumbling spine, or a myriad of other pain causing issues, when there is pain along with the problem, you have experienced that level of emotional strength. You know what I am saying here. You live it every day too. Just as I felt touched by Frida's 'Broken Column', by a woman who also lived every day in pain, I hope that I have touched you.

For whether you know it or not, I am your greatest admirer.

Gentle Hugs....

Are You Prepared to Begin Opiate Therapy?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 01:59:00 +0000

Dr. Miles' Anti-Pain Pills, Edmonds Historical Museum, Edmonds, Washington. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are many issues to consider when deciding (with your Pain Management Physician) to begin opiate therapy as part of your chronic pain management plan.

Beginning opiates is not to be taken lightly.

It is not as simple as it all sounds. You will start a new medication that promises to alleviate some of your ongoing, daily pain. This class of medications can be fantastic in their ability to relieve pain, and can give a pain patient a glimpse of their 'old' life back.

But you first need to look at the entire picture.

After you have spoken with your physician about trying opiates, and of course you are both in agreement, take just part of an afternoon to think a few things over before running to the pharmacy.

CONSIDERING OPIATE THERAPY IN YOUR LIFE~~~

1. Do you have a history of alchohol or drug abuse?
2. Are you being treated (actively) for a diagnosis of Mental Illness?
3. Are you a compliant person?
4. Are you honest about your pain with your doctor?
5. Are you a very patient patient?
6. Are you willing to research and learn about these medications?
7. Are you willing to take on the side effects of opiate therapy?
8. Are you you wiling to stop opiates at any time if necessary?
9. Are you willing to stop opiates suddenly and abruptly?
10. Are you aware of the term Withdrawal Syndrome & what it means?
11. Are you willing to go through the withdrawal off of opiates?
12. Are you strong enough to deal with misinformation and misinformed comments? (Over and over)
13. Are you willing to fight for whatever helps YOUR pain? (Including non-opiate measures)
14. See #5.

I see a total person, a holistic view, in my patients. A person who has been addicted to any mind-altering substance that caused harm or distress to any part of his/her life, would not be a good candidate for opiate therapy, and hopefully the physician made that call when getting the patient's history.

An actively depressed patient would not be started on opiate therapy. (Possibly when the depression is treated, as pain can cause depression, and there are many pain patients with a co-morbidity of depression.)

A person with a history of lying about drug use, diverting medication if in the medical field, or anyone who looks at medication for pain as a commodity or a high only, is not the candidate for treatment with opiates.

Your doctor that treats your pain must be your partner in your pain care. Be honest and forthright. Docs appreciate candor, and also the educated patient. Read up on opiates and their side effects. Know what you are choosing to put in your body.

You must be prepared to possibly sign some sort of pain contract. You must be prepared to do what your doctor instructs you to do. (Compliance). You must be ready to take on the side effects of opiates, such as constipation (which can become very severe) nausea, tiredness, appetite changes, and others.

You may be asked to stop taking your pain medication. This is usually after a surgery, to evaluate how the pain is without any painkillers. In other words, "Did it work?"

You may decide to stay off of pain medication after the surgery if the outcome of said surgery is positive, the original pain is gone, and physically you can 'do' life, because the main cause of the pain has been 'fixed'.

You must be ready to accept whatever your body is going to do. For instance, I had a large second Thoracic spine surgery. After recovering and getting past the post-op pain, I stopped opiate use, and was pain-free for quite awhile. I went to the gym faithfully, it was like I felt years before. Nothing was needed for pain.

Then the pain started again. Slowly, slowly. But it was back, and new tests showed new pathologies in my spine. Because that was my 2nd Thoracic spine surgery, I chose (and was advised) not to have any more surgeries. I needed to treat my pain.

I was back in the ring again. All the holdups with filling medications is reason enough for some people to go all Micheal Douglas (Falling Down) on everyone. That is nothing. Nothing. You need to fight for your right to proper pain relief, in a reasonable amount of time, and that is not always easy to do. Seems like the system is against those that do have opiates as part of their therapy. Hard to see a doctor, hard to fill meds on time, hard to be patient while you are experiencing withdrawals (because you are dependent, not addicted) and still you must remain calm and deal with the situation at hand.

It is common to hear the word addicted used incorrectly with the subject of chronic pain patients and opiates. I have written extensively abut this subject before. (Addiction, Dependence and Tolerance Parts One and Two). You must be strong and ready to stand up for yourself, for who you are, what quality of life you want, and how you have chosen to treat your pain.

Above all, you must be patient.

Gentle Hugs......

Goodbye to the American Pain Foundation

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:56:00 +0000

It was with great sadness that I read my email from the American Pain Foundation, announcing that they were to be no more. I was shocked and saddened. I have looked to the APF for information, support, ideas and open networking for many years.

Join me in wishing them all luck in the future, and to thank them for their tireless efforts over the years, all in the name of those who are in pain in America.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From the American Pain Foundation:

"With deep regret and heavy hearts, we sadly inform you that due to irreparable economic circumstances, APF must cease to exist, effective immediately. On May 3, 2012, the Board of Directors formally voted to dissolve the organization.

The Board and staff have worked tirelessly over many months to address a significant gap between available financial resources and funds needed to remain operational. Unfortunately, the economic situation has not changed in any meaningful way, despite our best efforts.

APF hopes to be able to transfer content from various information, education, and support programs to other organizations so that you may continue to benefit from the value these programs have provided to thousands of individuals and families across the country.

Your personal experiences in living with pain and seeking compassion, empathy and medical care often against the odds -- have driven our efforts over these many years. This includes enactment of key provisions of the National Pain Care Policy Act in the Health Reform Bill that led to a landmark report issued in 2011 by the Institutes of Medicine. This report documents the shocking numbers of US citizens that live with pain and calls for immediate changes to address gaps in care. Despite this, the current climate towards improving the plight of people with pain in the US continues to be precarious and hostile.

As you unfortunately know, the need for public outcry around the needs of Americans struggling with pain conditions is greater today than ever before in light of the multi-front assault occurring daily on our right to dignified care. Misguided state and federal policies are impeding access to appropriate and reasonable medical care for people struggling with pain, and deterring even the most compassionate medical providers from treating anyone with pain conditions.

It is therefore critical that each of you raise your voices singularly and together to demand the care you deserve. It is only by continuing to demand attention to the ever-worsening barriers and unacceptable suffering that change will occur.

Elected officials, policy makers, and the media need to keep hearing from each and every one of you so they are not allowed to walk away from the consequences of this over-looked public health and medical problem.

Please know that although APF will cease to exist, the resolve and commitment among individuals on the Board and staff remain strong."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye old friends......

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

A Fix for the Last Post and How's Your Knee?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 09:16:00 +0000

Alrighty, I feel like a nerd. Hmmm, if I was a nerd, I would have known this. Idiot maybe?
The 'Text Enhance' I ranted about was simply a cookie/extension that had to be taken off the computer. That's all. Should've realized it was something like this, when I was seeing IT nearly everywhere, on sites big and small.

For a short time last night (ok, the weeeee hours) I thought this company had taken over and was surreptitiously and randomly placing ads.

*I was very tired.

If anyone ever has this problem, this is where I found the information to remove it, and get things back to normal!! http://botcrawl.com/how-to-remove-text-enhance/ Thanks to botcrawl.com!! Great information on their site. The hovering links are gone.

***Update 10/19/12--I have a torn medial meniscus, just told to me yesterday by my primary doc. HUH? I have been sent to a 'specialist', an Orthopedist. Who either did not look at the Xray and MRI that I HAD to bring with me (or he won't see the patient) or he neglected to read the report properly, or at all. How can an Orthopedic Surgeon not see that I have an injury as common as a torn meniscus? He didn't have to do the actual reading/interpretation of the MRI, the Radiologist that does that, so he simply has to read the damn report. I am in shock at the lack of many events during my visit, the lack of information given to me, and the simple fact that I have been further injuring my knee. Pain is for a reason, it certainly alerts us to injury--my knee has given out multiple times, is unstable,grinds and pops- I knew that something was wrong. Always listen to your inner voice--it took me making an appointment to go see my primary doc to tell him the knee pain was worse, only then, by doing so, did I shine the light on this hidden injury when he read me the MRI report (which was done in Feb.) What is happening here? Those that are supposed to be concerned and thorough in my care, are clearly not doing in their best, in actions, and non-actions.***
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My knee was looked at by the Orthopedist and he put a shot of Marcaine into it, relieving some of the pain and movement restriction. The DX was Osteoarthritis. I kept asking, "What about the piece of bone floating around?" "Osteoarthritis", doc said. Bleh. Where don't I have that? Return PRN, if it hurts, or any other problem happens, were the parting instructions. No surgery, floating weird bone piece or not. That is a very good thing. Looks like I just need to get some more supplements.

I'm off crutches (yeeeeeah) and walking without much pain. (In the knee) I will get feelings of it wanting to slip, to do the same thing again, when putting force or pressure on the knee. I haven't been able to sit with my knee tucked under me or cross legged since knee surgery, but after this injury, there is much less ROM.

All in all, focus on the knee injury is past, and I am grateful after two knee surgeries, and this injury, it has no pain to speak of. I really put a huge strain on my spine, especially the Thoracic area (where every level is herniated and has bulky Osteophytes) when I had to use crutches. I had to recover in the spine from the crutch use. Sure throws things out of balance when one leg is always off the floor.

Thanks for the well-wishes and notes asking how things are.

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Bloggers: Did You Request All These New Text Links?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 00:49:00 +0000

Who is Text Enhance and why are they suddenly ALL over my blog?

I have already written them demanding they remove the irritating text links in the body of my work, and Cmon, in the friggin header of my blog?? Really??

Now, the words --'Chronic Pain'--are invisible up in the blog header, as they are now highlighted text links, and those two words completely disappear because of the blue tones used in my header/picture at the top.

In making my blog rounds and visiting other's sites, I see they too have many 'enhanced' words. I know they did not ask for them.

I am very protective of advertising on my blog. I rarely do any ads, and when I do, I make sure they are related to the content of the blog.

When did we all sign up for some ad company to come in and put a bunch of random text-links ALL over our sites?? We didn't.

Does anyone know how this all occurred? Did we have a meeting and I missed it???

*rant over

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Educating the Professionals on Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 08 Apr 2012 19:37:00 +0000

"I totally agree with you that there is an urgent need for education in regards to chronic pain - not just for the community at large, but for the very doctors, specialists, physios and other health care workers who are supposed to be the very ones who should understand our pain, limitations and difficulties better than any others!"

Great comment by one of my longtime readers. Her comment triggered writing on this subject, regarding educating the very ones that should have already been schooled on chronic pain. The docs, nurses, and other healthcare professionals that are in the profession to help others, to relieve suffering, and to advocate for their patients.

Example: A new Primary doc visit. Me: These are the medications I am taking to control my chronic pain. Doc: YOU are taking this dose? Me: Yes sir, my pain is excellently managed by my pain management physician. Doc: YOU are really taking this dose? Me: Yes doctor. Doc: Would you consent to a urine drug screen? Me: Sure, let's do it! Doc: I have never seen any patient take this dosage of medications and not be (insert a doctor hanging his arms down at his sides, slumping, eyes at half mast, and kind of limping) like this. Me: Well, I have been taking these medications for many years, and I am tolerant to the dose. Doc: I have never seen such bright eyes, and even though you are on crutches, you are quite balanced and alert. Me: Just give me the cup.

I decided not to have any water.

First time I have been asked for a drug screen, and first time I have been asked for that screen to prove I am really taking what I said I was prescribed, because I 'looked so alert', and 'my eyes were so bright'.

When I related all of this to my Pain management physician of over 8 years, he smiled and said, "I guess he doesn't have many chronic pain patients, eh?" We giggled about it, and he said how many times he has heard that, always surprised that GP's, Family Practice, or Internists do not seem to either SEE CP patients, or just do not treat them, therefore they stay away from the pain meds and act all bent out of shape when they hear what a specialist has done to help alleviate the pain.

How many times have we chronic pain patients had to visit the ER? Never a good visit. Never. How many times have you been told: "Oh, we don't prescribe that here, we are not going to give you any pain meds, we will treat your withdrawal symptoms, (even if with a medication I do not want to take), but we can not give you anything for the pain."

I am sure we all have some awesome Emergency Room stories. It is there that I believe the education has to start regarding patients in chronic pain, who take medications for said pain, who are left without medication for days while the insurance company takes its time with authorizations, etc. The ER is the first line of defense and I am very aware about the nurses and docs running with the joke about the 'drug seekers'. I get it. I have seen both sides.

When a person that lives in pain is seeking help, and truly has prescriptions for a medication(s), WHY do we have to go through so many hoops? WHY are we made to feel like a flippin druggie? WHY do some of the staff act like we are the most horrible thing that ever walked into their workplace? WHERE is the empathy? But most of all, WHERE is the professionalism?

When did judgement become a course in medical training?

Below is an excerpt from the internet for a Pain management physician who practices in Southern California. I must give it to him for the kindness and openness with which he states his practice philosophy.

Welcome-
We don’t just treat pain. We’re also doing everything we can to change the way people think about pain and wellness, working to dispel the myths, misconceptions (and prejudices) that surround chronic pain. I believe that chronic pain is a serious medical condition and I alway treat my patients with the dignity and respect they deserve. You will never be labeled a “drug addict” in my clinic.
Dr. K.

I would love to hear about your experiences with this subject!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Help Stop the Misinformation about Chronic Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 17:55:00 +0000

Something very wrong is continuing to exist; to flourish and develop. Develop into a problem that is becoming harmful and hurtful to people, and is overall incorrect. It needs to stop now.

The education needed on the subject of Chronic Pain has increased in recent years, as more patients with ongoing pain seek help, especially with Chronic Pain (CP) being a diagnosis in itself.

What kind of education am I talking about?

The kind that will stop the cycle of misinformation, seen often in the families and friends of those with Chronic Pain. These people have either been educated about CP, and refuted it, or they have not been educated.

Either way, when misinformation is what drives the mind, it is then open territory to say only what is felt, not what is fact.

What is fact: The number of human beings in America that deal with pain on an ongoing basis? 116 Million*.

How many people do you know in your life (personally, have frequent interaction with) that have Chronic Pain?

How do you deal with that person? With love, care and compassion? With an interest in learning more about what the cause is of their pain, and if Chronic Pain is the diagnosis, what do they feel? What are the treatments that they have undergone? What can you do to help?

The most important part of knowing someone with daily pain, is understanding them through education.

Misinformation, and lack of education, brings about judgment, and gossip. The last thing that a patient in pain needs, is to be judged.

Judgement in any form, has historically been for those that were uneducated in a given subject. Brings back the 60's, when everything was going crazy in the US. Judgement abounded. And that came to some kind of a resolution.

What happens to the CP patient--trying to just live life, a life that allows them to get out of bed, walk around a bit, and possibly even lead a life that is satisfactory to them, helped with a Pain Management physician, or clinic specializing in Chronic Pain. These patients are simply attempting to do the best with what they have, with the education they have been open to receiving, with the availability of Pain physicians, or Pain clinics.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a Pain Management physician close by, or even available soon enough to give the needed pain relief. There may not be any type of Pain Clinic near. America is a big place, with many small towns. Pain patients must plan ahead, wait, get authorizations, wait, pay, wait. Then maybe they can get in to a pain doctor, then hope that they like said doctor.

I had to step away from this subject to be able to write as objectively as possible, for I am hurt and angry. At the fact that as much as I have tried to be honest about who I am and what I do for my pain, what works for ME; I received such judgement, all based on misinformation. Not misinformation from me, of course.

When people you trust betray you, spill medical information that they are being trusted with, and to an uneducated sob that is above all: Judgmental; what good can come from all the education you took the time to give? It is all lost. For judgement can reign supreme if we are not careful. If we are not willing to go that extra mile to make sure the information is TRUE, not simply a judgement call, then we have lost our battle.

Although--why should those of us in pain have to constantly be on our toes regarding what people believe about our diagnosis and conditions? Why should we really care?

That is our lives they are gossiping about. And when it all comes back to bite us in the rear, we must decide if that situation is even worth going that extra 10 miles. I am actually sick over the way that some can hear our stories, say they are empathetic, that they care, that they understand.

Then that understanding blows up in our faces, and we watch silently as our own lives are discussed (in public no less), then all education and common sense is dropped when the human need for gossip and judgement comes into play.

I will no longer be silent. The way others handle the education I strive to give about CP is not my problem. But the fact that I can personally educate someone, then watch as all that information I trusted someone with is being spilled, to a judgmental ass, in public, what am I supposed to do with that??

Education may not be the only part we play in Chronic Pain, as we attempt to be advocates for ourselves; we may feel like we must make sure that those we sat down and spent time educating, are doing the right things with that information. Not going out and spreading it around like a disease. But guess what?

Aside from filing a slander** lawsuit, we have to let go of those people that are CHOOSING false info and a judgmental attitude over education that was straight from the pain patient!!

It hurts, yet I will not let it stop me. My mission is even stronger now: Educate others about what Chronic Pain is. We all must work together. As a community, we are strong. Pain patients are some of the strongest people I know.

Let us continue the education needed to keep the lies and judgments out, and in it's place, bring the truth in!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

What Is This In My Knee Xray?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Sun, 26 Feb 2012 00:35:00 +0000

**Update 10/19/2012---The MRI of my R knee showed a torn medial meniscus. This certainly explains the loud and painful POP when the injury occurred, the severe swelling and pain, and the instability. I am going for a '2nd opinion' on this injury as this post below states, the Ortho I saw did not mention ONE word of this injury. A 2nd opinion? No, this will be a first and hopefully much more competent opinion! The piece of bone in the Xray has not yet been addressed, and I expect the next Knee Doc to explain this to me. I imagine it will be removed during the surgery for the menisci tear.**
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had my knee MRI yesterday, not very out of the ordinary, just painful to keep my knee and leg so straight, while lying on my back with legs straight out in front of me. Bad for the knee & leg, bad for the back. But whose complaining? I am ecstatic to get these tests done! It means 2 steps closer to a diagnosis!!

BUT. Then I picked up the Xrays of my knee, taken at the ER. They now come on a CD, you can still pick the actual films up, but it would have cost 10 bucks per sheet, and the CD had everything on it. I went for the modern (and free) route.

After the first day driving (one month after the injury) I was hurting, and wondering why my entire leg hurts when the injury is in the knee. I put that xray CD in my computer, and voila!!

The first Xray view shows what appears to be a small piece of bone on the right side of the knee. Could this be what I heard when my knee POPPED? If it is bone, where did it come from, or break away from?

Or is this circle a possible tendon, ligament, or other tissue that broke away and is all 'balled up'? But Xrays show bone only, right? I am stumped. I do not have the report from the Xray series, so I have no idea what the Radiologist's findings were.

Here is another view, which shows the culprit clearer, and when I used the magnifier on the GE program to view the Xray CD; it shocks me to think that happened while stepping up from the floor! If that is from the injury.

Too many IF'S here for my taste. I bet the MRI will show some amazing pics of this, and I can't wait to see the Orthopedist, and hear his diagnosis.

And the 3rd and last view, with the knee flexed, also showing the little 'ball of unknown'. This view is of the flexed right knee, you are seeing the left side of the knee, and on the 'far' right side, you can see the little ball. It is actually smiling from certain views.

I think my Patella looks odd too, with a 'horn' on the top, but because this knee has had 2 prior surgeries, the patella has been worked on extensively, and I am not a Radiologist.

Hope to have further news immediately after seeing the Orthopedist, and I will pass that news on.

Thanks to all of you who have written and commented and really seem to care about how I am doing. The online support I receive (and love to give) helps so much-- more than I can say.

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Spine, Ribs & Knee-Oh My!

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 22:45:00 +0000

The month of January was like a big storm that just wouldn't pass.

Early in the month, I fell off a chair with no back, flat on my spine onto the concrete, taking my entire weight straight onto the spine, and posterior ribs. I didn't feel anything from it until the 2nd morning. And Oh My God it wasn't good when I did wake and feel that fall.

Between many other things going on in life; I wasn't able to get an Xray, and I kept on doing way more than I should have.

After a couple of weeks, I was still hurting in the spine and posterior ribs. One thing about Chronic Pain that I find extremely interesting, is that those of us with constant pain tend to not seek treatment as fast as we should, mainly because we are so used to pain, and don't run to the doctor every time we hurt.

But this was different pain. ACUTE pain, not related to the other spinal issues that cause pain, but exacerbated the 'normal pain' many times over.

Near the end of the month, I was getting up from the floor, trying to carefully pull myself up by using a chair, put all my weight onto my right leg, and was stepping up; when...POP!! The sound was horrible, loud, and deep in my knee. The same knee that was injured severely in the rollover accident in 1976, the same knee that needed a huge surgery (4 in 1 Patellaplasty) in my senior year, the same knee that needed surgery again in 2002.

When I was seen at the ER, the Dr. braced the knee, and told me to use crutches. There were no breaks, the knee had severe swelling, and an unknown injury that requires an MRI, and an Orthopedist. Gone are the days of going to the ER and getting what needs to be done to diagnose an injury, as in an MRI. If something is a non-life-threatening emergency, but still needs immediate attention; then get used to waiting for any type of medical care.

So, picture a person who suffers from Chronic Pain in the spine, falling hard onto said spine, possibly cracking vertebrae, and further herniating the 12 Thoracic levels already herniated, most likely breaking ribs, and right on that injuries tail, dealing with another acute injury causing acute pain, and to top it off, on crutches. Not a good situation for me.

I am waiting for the authorization to go through for the MRI, and to see an Ortho. In the meantime, the same 'old' spine pain must be addressed; there is no rest for the injured, the hurting. And add acute pain on top of chronic pain, and you get a very messed up body.

As usual, I try to stay as positive as possible, and I am thankful for those in my life that truly care, who are there when the chips are down.

I am writing the next post that is about the URGENT NEED FOR EDUCATION regarding Chronic Pain.

The ever-judging, always-right, extremely close-minded and still uneducated idiots never cease to amaze me....I am amazed at the positive way I am able to think without allowing those jerks to get to me. It still makes me sad, for I know that I am not alone in my journey of pain, and the resulting ridicule, judgmental attitudes, etc., will continue to exist; my empathy is with you all who also deal with this very unnecessary part of our life in pain.

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Any Readers Requests?

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 04:58:00 +0000

Well, it's a new year, another one added on to the 2000's, which only serves to further mess up my mathematical abilities when trying to count from events in the 1990's, till the present day. Am I alone on this issue? I scored 100% in Pharmacology; for as soon as I could put something meaningful into the algebraic equations (that alone, had stumped me) everything suddenly made sense. But to simply figure how long it's been since something that happened in, say, 1964; well for me, that = Blank! I got a bit lost when we entered the millennium.

But put a medication equation in front of me, and I am all set!

Happy New Year, and I hope that all my friends are doing AWAP. (As Well As Possible) Enjoy this years writings; I still have a lot to say! ;-) I am happy and yet slightly disturbed that I have been writing this blog for 4 years (in March) and only disturbed because the time passes much too swiftly. Started it in 2008. (I can do that math just fine.)

I would like to ask if any readers have a subject they would like me to tackle. I plan on revisiting some subjects I have written on before, and I would like to bring a bit of fresh light onto them. But if you have something you would like researched, studied, and brought to this blog, I would love to hear from you!

Gentle Hugs as always------<3

Professionals on Medication

noreply@blogger.com (Shauna) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:25:00 +0000

How would you feel if you knew that the police person that helped you out in a bad situation, who you were so grateful for being there; took pain medication on a chronic basis?

Would it matter to you?

On my last visit with my beloved Pain Management Physician, we discussed again the subject of his patients and the wide variety of people he treats. Treats with medications along with other modalities to help chronic pain. He had just seen a police officer that obviously carries a handgun, and is authorized to use a wide variety of forceful and deadly weapons.

I just love my doctor, he has not only treated me with the utmost of empathy and desire to truly help my life and spine get functional again, but he has always stood by my side if I need any kind of letter, or to speak to someone, when it comes to the issue of drug testing, employment barriers, etc. I think 'barrier' when thinking of drug testing, because we basically never know if that is a reason we are not getting the job. Illegal? Of course!! But we would never really know.

I feel that whatever my doctor recommends regarding medication is the absolute way to go. No arguments from me, although we do have lengthy conversations about my frustration of not being able at this time to work in nursing the way I want to, and how he values my knowledge as a healthcare professional, and my knowledge of medications, anatomy, physiology, etc., which always makes the visit easier. For both of us!!

Back to the professionals he treats. Myself included. Whether handling firearms, or nursing a patient back to health, my doctor makes sure that his professional patients (and of course, all other patients) are exactly where we need to be as far as that slight balance between taking medications for pain and being able to function just fine, and taking medications for pain and not being able to function. It is a very fine line, and what he does is an art.

Reminds me of how a Psychiatrist must balance people with medications. Find what works, what the patient has adverse reactions to, if the side effects are more than the benefit of the drug. Pain management is that balance also. Remove the horrid pain of a really wrecked spine, and still maintain a state of focus, being tolerant to a dosage, and not feel anything that affects the CNS. (Central Nervous System) In other words, his patients don't walk around feeling 'high', or unusually tired, or unable to focus. In those cases, he would not ok the patient to be at work if showing the signs of misuse.

Remember, compliance is the key for all patients in chronic pain management!! We have as much responsibility to our doctors, as we want them to be for us.

How would you feel if you knew that the nurse taking care of you or a family member took medications so they can function at work without extreme pain? Or my example at the top of a policeman? I am not saying that these examples are those professionals who choose to divert meds, or take them on the sly, or simply to get high. I am strictly speaking of ongoing pain management. Key word--management. A physician is correctly prescribing and managing all medication.

I would love to hear your thoughts!!!

Gentle Hugs.... and Stay strong ~just for today~

Shauna's Life In Pain

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*1http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/11/doctors-patients-win-chronic-pain.html

**2. Slander: Communication of false statements injurious to a person's reputation. 2. A false and malicious statement or report about someone.

What Is This In My Knee Xray?

Spine, Ribs & Knee-Oh My!

Any Readers Requests?

Professionals on Medication