Cool and Hip, I Am Not

Review: Tide Coldwater Laundry Detergent

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 22:52:00 +0000

SheSpeaks asked me if I'd like to review Tide Coldwater. I always loved Tide, so it for me it was a win-win.

In the leaftlet I was given with my sample bottle, a couple facts about the Coldwater formula jumped out at me:

Tide Coldwater removes more stains than the leading detergent does in cold
By switching to washing clothes in cold water, you should be able to save on the electric/gas bill.

Recently, I heard that the standard top-loading washing machine puts out anywhere between 20- 30 gallons of water during a normal cycle. It doesn't take a calculator to see the amount of savings that could add up by switching to a coldwater formula detergent.

Without further ado ( and yes, I am totally stalling) here is my review of Tide Coldwater:

Bottom line:

I liked the coldwater formula. I felt like I was doing something good for both my budget and the environment.
It worked just as well with warm water, which was an accidental find.
I would continue to buy the coldwater formula.
P&G always have coupons available, making Tide an affordable option.

What is your favorite laundry detergent? Would you ever switch if it meant you'd save money in the long run?

Disclosure:
This is a sponsored post on behalf of SheSpeaks and Procter and Gamble. While I did receive a bottle of Tide Coldwater and compensation for my time, all opinions are my own. I Blog With Integrity.

1/18/2012

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +0000

Be Heard

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 04:36:00 +0000

I don't want to stop writing and being heard. Do you?

The Problem With SOPA via fyi.expandsm.com.

Photo credit: Linda Sellers/Facebook

Walgreens Fights For Express Scripts' Customers

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 23:03:00 +0000

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

For the first half of my adult life, I was a die-hard fan of a certain pharmacy chain. Then we moved to a small town that only had one pharmacy - Walgreens. It was inconvenient to drive elsewhere, so I reluctantly made the change. After only one trip, I was hooked. Even after grocery stores and other competing chains opened, I still stuck by Walgreens. I loved knowing that this was a company that stood behind their word.

Our prescription insurance has a form on their website that allows me to compare the prescription costs across many pharmacies. Although Walgreens typically has the lowest cost, I would be reluctant to switch pharmacies only to save a few dollars. It's hard to put a price on a company that always exceeds my expectations.

Having said this, I am very thankful that my family's prescription insurance is not through Express Scripts.

Apparently, a Express Scripts has their price limit. And for unfathomable reasons, Express Scripts chose not to renew their contract with Walgreens. As of January 1, 2012, countless numbers of people across the country are forced to find other pharmacies in order to stay in-network. Customers that have undoubtedly made a connection with their Walgreens have no choice but to find another pharmacy or be forced to pay full-price for their prescriptions. Being that Walgreens is committed to offering the lowest cost on prescriptions, those customers that use Express Scripts not only had a convenient choice taken away, they will no doubt will incur more expenses for any costs not covered by the insurance. For someone like me, this would be a significant strain on an already tight budget. I doubt that I am alone.

Walgreens, disappointed by the choice made by Express Scripts, has not been worried about the lost of a insurance provider, but concerned about their most important asset: the customer. Taking a proactive stance, the Prescription Savings Club at Walgreens is being discounted. during the month of January. An individual membership is $5 and a family membership is $10. The regular cost per year is $20 and $35, respectfully.

Benefits of the Prescription Savings Club include:

Annual coverage for one year
Family plans cover self, spouse, dependents 22 years of age and younger, and pets
Discount prices on prescriptions
Savings on more than 8,00 brand-name and generic prescriptions
Discounts on flu shots, pet prescriptions, nebulizer, and diabetic supplies
Bonuses for purchasing Walgreens brand products and photo services

I hate what has happened between Walgreens and Express Express Scripts. My hope is that this provider realizes the tough choices subscribers have been left. and chooses to partner with Walgreens again. If for nothing else, but to give the option back to the people that need it the most. It is too hard in this day in age to find the personal touch and commitment to quality and integrity that Walgreens brings to every community.

Please follow me in showing your support for Walgreens by following them on Facebook and Twitter.
Walgreens on Twitter Look for #ILoveWalgreens
Walgreens on Facebook

Walgreens and Express Scripts

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:14:00 +0000

The fact that I could NOT get Blogger to load this photo correctly doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of my day...that started at 3 a.m.

Friday Night Quickie

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 03:48:00 +0000

I've still been feeling yucky. Not worse, but definitely not getting better. I am not even sure what "normal" feels like anymore.
Kids went back to school on Thursday, which meant I was back to babysitting. He turned nine months old today. He is on the move.
Big Daddy has also been on vacation. It's a shame I couldn't give him a beach front condo, chair in the sand, and a cold drink in his hand.
If you aren't, follow me on Twitter: @coolandhip. I've tweeted a stack of posts this week.
Check it out: About.me/HeatherClift

What are you up to? What I have I missed?

Tachycardia: No Big Deal?

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 15:39:00 +0000

Typically, if memory serves, I try not to talk about my health issues, at least not on my blog. While I would be the first to advocate that depression and anxiety are just as real as diabetes, for example, and shouldn't be shoved under the rug . However, with the recent addition of fibromyalgia and insulin resistance -- both of which typically go hand and hand with the aforementioned -- I've taken to be more quiet about it.

My doctor for the last four or five months has experimenting with a variety of medicine combinations. She is trying to get the most benefit to cover all aspects in the least amount of pills. While I appreciated, in the beginning, her concern, it has taken a toll on me mentally and physically. The last few weeks in particular have been pure unadulterated hell. If you have ever had to come off one medication and start another, while trying to navigate the holidays, you'll understand what I am talking about.

Monday, I came home after lunch with a friend. I had a slight headache, which turned to slight irritability, morphing into a blinding headache and extreme irritability. I didn't think much about it and locked myself in my room for the rest of the night. Sleep didn't come easy, not uncommon anymore, as insomnia has become a frequent and unwelcome visitor.

After finally catching a small nap, I woke up yesterday morning just feeling off. Not my usual "offness" that I experience from time to time. I couldn't put my finger on the specifics; it was different.

I hadn't been up long when I realized my heart was racing. And it was actually racing, not just the feeling of racing I feel during an anxiety attack.

Throughout the day, it continued to speed up. A slight headache I had increased. By midday, by vision was blurring. I had a hard time looking at the computer even with my glasses on.

My husband, either an optimistic or tired of dealing with my crap, just chalked up it to anxiety and claimed I was doing it to myself.

Close to three, he brought me one of my "as needed" anxiety medications, despite my hate for taking them. (I have a deep-seeded fear of addition.) Reluctantly, I took it. For an hour, my heart rate slowed, but never to the "normal" range and then started climbing again.

Big Daddy had me call the doctor, and they recommended that I come in. After an examination including an EKG, I was given a diagnosis of tachycardia (fast heart rate), told to quit taking one medication (one of which I hadn't even taken that day), avoid caffeine -- chocolate included-- and to not really worry about it. Already having an appointment scheduled for Monday for a med check, he said the issue would be looked at again at that time. Mostly, he seemed to chalk it up to a person that already has an issue with stress, anxiety, and depression and a weight problem.

Never have I felt so dumb leaving a doctor's office. Here I was scared if I ignored this problem, I'd wind up with a heart attack or stroke only to find out it was most likely in my head. Sort of figuratively.

In my frustration, I wrote about the day's experience in a private group. One woman, whose opinion I value greatly, made this comment:

I cannot tell you how often women's heart issues are dismissed because they are women. If your heart continues like that or if it worsens and you have any stiffness, muscle pain, etc go to the emergency room.

Thankfully, I started feeling better. Obviously, tachycardia onset can be caused by panic attacks, anxiety, and some medications. Two of the three I am on do indicate rapid heart beat as a potential side effect; however, I've been on these for two months and and one month respectively with no negative symptoms.

On the way home, BD had stopped at Sonic and bought me a Sprite Zero. I nearly drank it all before we had gotten home because I was so thirsty. After I started feeling better, a light bulb when off.

I found some other causes of tachycardia:

Dehydration I'd had a partial cup of coffee that morning and two sips of Diet Coke earlier in the day. Not feeling well, I avoided food and drink. Plus, I've been on a diuretic for the last month. Although, I didn't take it that morning.

Thyroid conditions

Medications both prescribed and OTC. Three of my __ prescribed meds are indicated for causing tachycardia. Only one I had taken that day, but I didn't know until yesterday it could cause it. And after nearly two months on it, I hadn't had any issues. Also, cold medicine is know for causing a rise in the heart rate.

Caffeine If Coke's stock takes a rapid nose dive, I'll be to blame. While I know that my love for the nectar of the heavens (aka Diet Coke) is not the best for me, I've not had any issues in the 25+ years I've consumed them.

My sole purpose of posting this experience isn't for sympathy or well-wishes. I tell you my story, as insignificant as it may be, because my eyes have been opened to details I couldn't recall yesterday.

You are your own health advocate. As talented and meticulous as your doctor may be, he or she is also a doctor to hundreds of other people. They are human.

Health statistics you should know and always have on hand:

YOUR normal blood pressure.

The medical community has agreed that 120/80 is the standard range for most adults. For me, 100/65 is normal. So when, my blood pressure registered 110/85 yesterday, no one batted an eye. Of course, I was thrilled as it wasn't 127/ 85 like it was a month ago. But still? High for me.

YOUR normal body temperature.

Again, the medical community considers 98.6 to be healthy. My healthy temp is 97.

YOUR normal [resting] pulse rate.

Standard range is 60-100. I have no idea what mine is. But I have been tracking my pulse every so often. There are many tools over the counter as well as some great apps for your smartphone.

YOUR medication intake.

Whether it's prescribed or over-the-counter, keeping a log of what you took and when could be helpful when you suddenly find yourself being asked, "What have you taken in the last week?" It's eye-opening when you "think" you've taken all you were supposed to, count the number of pills missing in the bottle and in a month's worth, only nine are missing.

Also, if you find yourself seeing a doctor, perhaps in an emergent situation that does not have access to your file, knowing medications taken will significantly reduce the risk of an interaction.

Anytime you don't feel just quite right, follow your instinct. It's possible that it's nothing that will resolve itself, but don't feel intimidated about sticking up for yourself. If nothing else, a note will be made should it come up again in the future. Women tend to be dismissed quickly because we are the worriers, have special hormones, may have other conditions, and other stereotypical details. Just be your own health advocate.

Disclaimer: This post should not be used in place of medical advice. My experience is unique to me and other results may vary. See your health provider if you experience symptoms above and beyond what is your "normal."

Out With the Old, In With the New and Improved

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 11:46:00 +0000

Last year, I bid 2010 goodbye with a finger gesture and a swift quick in the pants.

Apparently that was fuel for the fire as 2011 turned out to be nastier than its predecessor. I have a few choice words for the things that have happened over the last 364 days, but frankly I'd rather just move on and hope for the best. As Big Daddy says, "It can only go up from here."

He is the eternal optimist. I, on the other hand, being the eternal pessimist, beg to differ. It could get a whole lot worse. At least, that's what I used to say...

Before I wrote this post on perspective, I would have written out a long list of woe-is-me or had some snarky commentary as to the happenings of the past year. It's time to turn over a new leaf. Despite all of the things that happened, all the times we were down to less than a buck in the checking account days before payday, and all the tears that were shed, we survived. In the moment, it felt like crap. If I were being completely honest, there are a few things that still feel crappy, but we will survive.

For all that 2011 offered, the least I can do is look back one last time, be thankful for the good times and for the lessons on how to deal with the bad.

2012, I am ready.

From my family to yours, I'd like to wish you and yours a very happy and healthy New Year.

Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 01:11:00 +0000

Earlier today, I found something my husband had hidden from me -- again. The details of what he hid aren't important. I will say that it wasn't anything that would land us in divorce court. His intentions, however skewed, were honorable.

Being the Type-A person that I am, we had a little tiff. We talked it out, fixed the problem to avoid a future issue, and moved on with our day.

Much later, we were looking at crochet patterns for a scarf he wants me to make. After finally finding one that he claimed was not too feminine, I realized the pattern called for a hook that I don't have. I texted my mom to see if she had the right size.

She texted back that she did, but they were leaving for the funeral home. I had not met the man that passed, only his wife. This man, husband to my mom's friend, died suddenly from a heart attack at 56-years-old.

Fifty-six.

My mind can't wrap around that number and what it means. My parents are the same age. My husband is just nine years his junior. Suddenly, a lot of things came into perspective. Things that may have been an issue at noon don't seem as big of an issue anymore.

More often that not, we get caught up with the little things: who didn't take out the trash, who left water on the bathroom vanity, who didn't refill the toilet paper. In the heat of the moment, the little things take over our day. We spend so much time organizing/cleaning/working/fighting that we don't realize how little time we actually have left.

Realistically, we can't spend our days worrying if this moment is the end. However, sitting on this knowledge of this man's passing, I can't help but feel a sense of deep sadness, a deeper regret over some things that I said to my husband this morning out of hurt and frustration. In the grand scheme of things, the little tiff my husband and I had meant nothing. I have no doubt that my mom's friend would give anything to have her husband one more day, even if they didn't talk at all.

The trash will get taken out. The water will get wiped up. Someone will eventually get out a new roll of toilet paper. Going into the new year, I am not going to take the little things for granted. I am not going to waste another minute worrying over the small stuff. I just wish that it didn't take the sudden and untimely death of someone I know to bring me the right perspective.

Photo: Flickr, fauxto_digit

Wordless Wednesday: Unexpected Surprises

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 13:49:00 +0000

Post Wrap Wrap-Up: 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 08:25:00 +0000

Another holiday worried and fretted over has come to a close.

Lows:

Nicholas, who wakes up at ungodly hours on Christmas morning, came down stairs and saw nothing [extra] under tree. Opened a rolled paper tucked in stocking thinking it could be a note from Santa. It wasn't. I may have cemented any lingering doubts of Santa's existence.
Fibromyalgia flair brought on by lack of sleep and stress.
Realized after-the-fact that a present was still in wrapping paper box, which had already been put in attic.
Dinner was over an hour late.

Highs:

We were together.
By wrapping XBox, Kinect, all games, and controllers into one box with both boys' names, no one has argued on who owns what. [Yet]

Dinner was delicious even though I forgot the baked apples.
Jessica is home.

How was your holiday?

Christmas Wishes

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:11:00 +0000

Not unlike millions of other people, this time of year is especially difficult for me. Add a pinch of financial trouble, a dash of family angst, and sprinkle in some repressed emotions and you'll have my recipe that is almost every holiday.

This year, not that I shouldn't have been surprised, I learned that the boys didn't necessarily believe in Santa Clause anymore. There hasn't been a positive confirmation of this fact, but all signs lead me to that assumption. I found myself saddened at this news rather than relieved. Last year, I clearly remember thinking it would be easier to wrap it all up, stick it under the tree and be done until Christmas Day.

Be careful for what you wish for.

When the boys were little, I can't remember what age, I started this tradition that they would buy a gift (with my money, of course) for the other. Something they truly thought the other would like.

This year, on the day that I was going to take them out, I realized that they didn't understand the sentiment behind it and were using the opportunity (and again, my money) to get another gift off ye -olde-wishlist. Being that I don't pay them an allowance, I couldn't exactly change the rules in hopes of teaching the lesson. I declared that buying for the other was canceled.

Last night we were leaving to pick up the last minute essentials. He says to me, "There is something N wants to get you at Target."

Knowing how he finagles to find a loophole to buy me something, I say, "You have to be kidding. He wouldn't have said that."

He swears up and down it's the honest truth.

At a stop at another store, I stay in the car whilst the men folks go in. The youngest comes back, and I ask him what he is doing. He says, "I bought Daddy and N a present. I had to come back before they saw me."

He had brought his money and used what resources he had available to buy gifts for his family. Two candy bars for his daddy and something out of the quarter machine for his brother.

We get home and N has a shoe box and is wrapping some sort of CD. I asked him what he was doing. "I am giving D this playstation game. I have no need for it anymore and he is always stealing it. He might as well have it."

All that sweetness of my boys nearly caused my heart to burst out of my chest.

I've been dreading Christmas Day for a number of reasons, two of which happen to be 12- and 11-years-old. Every year, they both happen to do or say something that totally puts another runner on an already delicate tapestry of what is supposed to be a joyous occasion. Every single gift I purchased had to go through a rigorous thought process to test for the potential of fighting, arguing, or otherwise annoying the other.

Maybe this year is the one that will turn it all around.

Wordless Wednesday: Made In China

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 18:48:00 +0000

Photo credit: Coolandhip (aka me)

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to raising my [now] tweens.

Sure, I've read blogs, books, and watched other parents for tips and techniques. Regardless, there isn't a day that doesn't go by that I don't regret what I have said or done and lamented on the permanent damage that may have occurred.

Lately, things seemed to have been sailing relatively smoothly when the words I never dreamed would be uttered of my middle child, were in fact said by my husband, on the phone:

"Did N tell you what happened at school today?"

In N's retelling his side of the story, I literally thought I was going to throw up. My child is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination; however, the reason he was called into the principal's office was serious.

Due to the nature of the alleged crime, in which he was found innocent, I can't give specifics. Let's just say the other party misunderstood something he had said and regarded it with malice.

As sick as I was over his being called in, there was more to the entire situation that disturbed me.

He avoided answering questions at school, thereby seemingly affirming his guilt. Having never gotten in trouble [at school] before, he was scared and didn't know how to handle it.

He didn't tell me. The kids all know that if they get in trouble at school, they will be in trouble at home, as well. Even though he was found innocent, he thought the mere act of being called in would cause more trouble.

He was not behaving appropriately, even though no actual crime was committed. The involved teacher trusts him explicitly. He could have and should have been making better choices at the time and perhaps the whole incident could have been avoided.

Nine years of schooling and drilling expectations, I had to go back and re-address issues I thought were already set in stone. As if middle school and puberty weren't hard enough, we've had to re-visit and re-vamp:

1. If you get in trouble (regardless of guilt or innocence), I need to be told as soon as you walk in.

2. If someone asks you if you did/didn't do something, acknowledge immediately. Don't make the authority figure have to drag it out. Telling the truth upfront will always be better than hiding.

3. Remember that someone is always watching you. Set the example.

He didn't get in trouble at home. However, we did have a serious talk about expectations. Hopefully, I've been able to impart on him that he can come to me and I am not to be feared. Had this not happened? Who knows what else I may not have been told?

So, just to tally up trips to principal:

Oldest: Once, 8th grade. Guilty. Given a warning, nothing on permanent record.
Middle: Once (so far, fingers crossed) 7th grade. Not guilty. Nothing on permanent record.
Youngest: N/A But if I've learned anything this past week, it's that anything is possible, when you least expect it.

Holiday DOs: Gift Exchanges

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Last week, I wrote about what not to do at a pitch- in holiday dinner. At the end, I mentioned I would list what not to do when it comes to holiday exchanges. Only it came out, well...

Ungrateful? Hateful? Forgetting that it's the thought that counts?

Maybe snarky would be the best way to describe it. It's sitting in my drafts folder waiting to get the ax.

All in all, we are adults here, and over time, surely we've figured out what works and what doesn't. Or perhaps you all have, because I am not good at buying gifts. Well, it's not the buying as much as picking out appropriate gifts.

Whether it's the office party or your distant cousin on your spouse's side, follow this guide for a great gift exchange.

1. Start a wishlist. Some people balk at wishlists, but they have been coming increasingly popular. Sites like Elfster, Amazon, Wishlister can hold all the information of things you would like to have and vice versa. Elfster is great for Secret Santa exchanges, as well.

2. Set a price limit.

3. Approach handmade gifts with caution. There are a thousand (give or take) people on etsy that want you do all of your shopping from them. They have taken out the negative connotation from "homemade" and turned it into a must-have on most wishlists. However, that doesn't mean someone necessarily wants some crocheted doilies for the couch or the bathroom ensemble we all remember from our grandmothers' house.

4. Consider a cookie exchange. Last year, given the lack of bonuses and raises my husband's company gave, they decided to do a cookie exchange rather than gifts, secretly or otherwise. It doesn't have to be fancy. My husband and a couple of other people happen to love to bake. Others don't bake per se, but will plop some dough on a tray and add sprinkles. It's still FUN!

And there are several cookies that hardly take any time at all:
Oreos dipped in chocolate
Peanut Butter and Ritz
Cake Mix Cookies

And just because it's a cookie exchange, doesn't mean it's has to be cookies. Try these treats:
Chocolate-covered Pretzels
Fudge
Buckeyes*
Puppy Chow
Christmas Wreaths

But for the love of tinsel, leave the fruitcake at home. Seriously. Let's forget it exists. Unless you like it, then you can have my portion.

5. Gift cards go a long way. I love, love, love receiving gift cards. So much so that they used to expire before I used them. Thankfully, policies have been set into place that this shouldn't be an issue any longer. As long as you put some thought into which card you purchase, you'll be fine. If all else fails, a Visa gift card will work in most any venue.

As long as you actually put some thought into your gift, your recipient is most likely to be thankful. At this time of year, instead of focusing on the haves and have-nots and what to buy for whom, let's be focus on and show how grateful we are for the people around us that matter the most. That is our real gift.

*While the recipe isn't, "Buckeyes" is a regional name for this treat. When I was growing up, those peanut butter balls were completely immersed in the chocolate. It wasn't until I met my husband, who hails from Ohio--Home of the Buckeyes, that I saw, heard, and tasted the difference. Yes, he does in fact, make the best. Even my mom agrees.

Getting Schooled

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:49:00 +0000

It started out innocently enough.

Friday afternoon, or should I say, late morning, the boys walked in, all manner of school paraphernalia thrown to the wayside, and arguments as to whom could do something or another commenced.

I was working and had my Facebook tab open. I clicked over and updated my status:

Later, one of my friends had asked me about said winter vacation. She was thinking that perhaps were were leaving on an actual vacation.

Ten minutes after I posted the reply, another friend updated her status. In an attempt to keep her anonymous, I can't share the actual post. However, her message was one that I completely needed to be reminded of: During extended vacations from school, some children experience the loss of a minimum of two meals, a routine, and a feeling of safety.

I immediately felt guilty about what I had written about my children. It didn't matter if it was passively directed to me. It wasn't that long ago that I used to cry on the last day before a two-week break because I was worried about a child, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. In two short years, I'd lost sight of what really mattered.

Instead of immediately complaining about my children's current behavior in an attempt to be funny, I should have remembered that I only have this one chance with them. I should have stopped what I was doing and went in to see what was going on with the boys. I should have taken that time to remind them the proper way to enter the house [again] and spent a few valuable minutes talking about the morning.

That time is gone.

In spite of the forgotten socks on the floor, continually reminding to put the dirty dishes in the sink, and repeated attempts to discourage mindless bickering, I am going to keep my friend's wise and timely reminder forefront of my mind.

I would like to encourage you do to the same. While we are in the hustle and bustle of this time of the year, please think about the children that do without. Regardless if without means, food, safety, love. Or sadly, in some cases, all the above.

Holiday Don'ts: Food

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:21:00 +0000

During a holiday pitch-in dinner at my husband's company, I observed some definite Holiday Don'ts that needed to be addressed. At first, I thought perhaps this was an isolated incident, but given this was the fifteenth dinner in as many years in five different stores, clearly there were issues. Across the board.

While I've compiled this list based on the actions of my husband's employees, my own previous work parties, and certain family members, I am sure it will work for a plethora of other times and places.

Holiday Don'ts: Food (The Pitch-In Dinner/Meal)

1. Don't just wing it. Find out what everyone is planning on bringing.

If there is not a list posted or circulating, get one started. There is nothing worse than fourteen dishes of macaroni and cheese and a small grocery store fruit plate for the entire group to dine on.

2. Don't forget the fork. Or spoon. Bring the appropriate serving utensils for your dish.

Have you ever tried to dip banana pudding with a plastic teaspoon? At my husband's gathering, someone snatched my utensil from my dessert. Whomever came behind had attempted to dip my Pineapple Thingy* with an icing spatula.

3. If you didn't contribute, don't get in line first.

I understand not everyone can always contribute; I am not cold-hearted. But knocking over small children to get in line first? Not cool.

photo credit: edenpictures

4. Don't bring everyone sharing your DNA. Leave grandma, grandpa, auntie, uncle, your fourth cousin on your spouses' side, and your BFF (from elementary school that is really like a sister!) at home.

"Families invited" means spouse/significant other and children. Unless it's a family-owned business, then you know, adjust accordingly.

5. Don't ask for a to-go box.

Just because you brought a dish does not give you free reign to fill 'er up on the way out. Certain situations may dictate the necessity to divide up the leftovers and take them home. But I must insist that you refer to point number three first.

6. Don't leave your stuff behind.

Used dinner plate. Half drunk soda. Your casserole/dessert/biscuits/otherfooditem. Whatever you bring and use, clean up after yourself. They don't call it a pitch-in for nothing. I always say, "Hey! Your mother doesn't work here," which you are welcome to borrow. Unless, again, you have a family-owned business, then maybe your mother does work there. Still, it won't kill you to clean up a little. And either take your dish, even if it is in a disposable container, home or throw away. No one wants to be trying identify the strange smell coming from the lounge fridge come February.

photo credit: jetalone on flickr

7. Don't try out a new recipe.

Unless you are Paula Deen, Mario Batali, Cat Cora, or maybe Rachael Ray, I am not interested in something you just threw together. Keep it fresh. Keep it clean. Keep it traditional. The holiday dinner is not the time for an unveiling. If you do try a new dish, don't cry when you are making that long walk back to the car.

8. Don't bring a temperature- sensitive food item.

For obvious reasons, anything that has to remain cold -- ice cream for example-- is not going to hold up well.On the opposite end of the spectrum, foods need to be continually kept hot offer their own issues. You don't want to have to be fighting over electrical outlets or scrambling for an extension cord for your crock-pot-of-goodness.

9. Don't forget the drinks! And ice!

Both seem to be forgotten. And variety is the spice of life. Not everyone wants to be sipping on the sole 2-liter of ginger ale that was brought. Get several people involved and mix it up. Soft drinks! Iced tea! Coffee! Punch! Even water goes a long way.

10. Don't forget to thank the host/coordinator.

Really. It had to be said.

What are your don'ts that need to be added to this list?

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Holiday Don'ts: Gift Exchanges

*Pineapple Thingy is dump cake that I discovered at a function. No one knows the real name, but I've got the recipe and will share soon!

Writing: FTW

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 16:02:00 +0000

When I was in college, I had an English professor that for whatever reason took me under her wing. She took me aside many times to talk about my writing. She would fill the margins with things she loved about my word play and made suggestions to make the weak parts stronger. I was asked twice in one semester to read aloud essays I had written.

Then, she encouraged me to submit one for possible publication with the college's literary collection. It was accepted, and I heard rumblings about it across the English department.

The next year I was a student editor for the same publication. I also submitted a short story. Being in that meeting where I am the only one who knows who wrote the story was torture. Only at the time, I didn't realized it, but it was an exercise on taking the criticism and developing a thick skin which I would need later.

The story made it to a second round, but ultimately was declined. A week later, another story I had written, and really didn't like won first place at the state level through another collegiate competition.

So, while in college to earn a degree in Elementary Education, a wanna-be full-time writer was born.

(Technically, born again, but that's another post.)

It has been about four years since that first publication. I had had three others since then, in addition to writing in various places across the web.

I've submitted a few other things -- mostly fiction -- here and there, none of them coming to fruition. About six months ago, I was looking for something to enter and tweeted as such. The fabulous author, Jessica Rosenburg (@kikarose), tweeted back something to the effect of, "Why? Just write your manuscript already." I quit looking for contests and got busy writing (and procrastinating) on a full manuscript.

Just over a month ago, an email hit my inbox, and while I normally don't open any from this particular self-publisher* something grabbed my attention. Long story short, it was a call for submissions for flash fiction in honor of NaNoWriMo. I took me about two weeks, five drafts, and a lot of emails with my writing support group** but I submitted that 600-word-limit at a very slim 589..

And it is now published. You can even have a copy. For free.

"Flash Focus" is different than anything I have ever written. It is absolutely my most favorite story to-date, including the current manuscript. Even if the judges don't award me with a prize, the accolades I've already received will be enough and just the motivation I needed at exactly the right time to keep going.

Although, if I were being completely honest, if they were to contact me letting me know I'd won the $500 and Nook, I wouldn't exactly turn it down.

Updated 12/29: Out of 2,000 + entries, I didn't even make the short list of finalists. Oh well. Can't win them all.

*I was using this specific self-publisher for personal projects. Like writing personalized books for my nieces and nephew. Not self-publishing books I want distributed publically. Not there is anything wrong with self-publishing for that means. I just have a dream of being in Barnes and Noble, Books a Million....

**I am actually in two writing groups -- one online and one locally. I would be lost and extremely lonely without them. I highly recommend being part of a writer's group.

Thankful It's Over: Thanksgiving Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 05:01:00 +0000

Tradition dictates that I cook and host all major holidays. No worries.

This year was the first year it was going to be different. One of the baby birds is currently gone from nest, leaving a significant hole at the dinner table.

My parents were going to be out of town. I, admittedly selfish, choose not to make a huge dinner. At least not for our remaining four and my brother's brood totally five.

About a week ago, my brother calls to "wish me a belated happy birthday." After several minutes of him talking of his happenings he says, "So. Thanksgiving's at your house?"

I reply no, that I wasn't planning on cooking the feast, per se. I feel immediately guilty; although, the relationship between my brother and me is shaky. The only reason I talk to him is that I love his kids.

Brother tells me that it's no problem that his work his having a dinner (which I found odd since he works at a little joint that rhymes with Awful Mouse), plus there is a dinner at the church. I think nothing of it.

I declare this the almost best Thanksgiving ever. The four of us ate dinner with husband's work, called it Thanksgiving, and planned a day lounging in pjs, watching movies and playing games.

Two days ago, I get a text from my mom wondering what we are doing for the holiday. Turns out they chose not to go out of town and meal planning commences.

Circling vulture honing in on his meal

Two hours until dinner was to be served, I get a call from my mom forewarning of an upcoming phone call: the sister-in-law. Call waiting beeps.

Me: Hello?
Her: with no inflection of the voice: Brother wants to know what you guys are doing today.
Me: :long pause, then speaks with a bit of sarcasm: You know exactly what we're doing. Brother just talked to my mom.
Her: Well, he wants to know if you want us to come over.
Me: What happened to all your other plans?...never mind. I don't care. ::slight pause thinking this is incredibly rude:: Sure. Come on over, I want to see the kids.
Her: Okay. I let him know *click*

Scrambling happens. I call my mom back to discuss the conversation. My dad made a trip to the store. Big Daddy ended up making ANOTHER trip to the store. We were worried about not having enough food, ice, etc.

I had to adjust things around for cooking times because Brother didn't get off of work until 2 and lives 25 minutes away.

Two and half hours after the SIL phone call, but two hours before they were expected, Brother and family show up at door.

I was not dressed for company. Big Daddy and the fellas were gone to the store. I was not happy.

Me: Um. I thought you got off work at four.
Him: Uh. Yeah. Uh. I got off early.
Me: Well. I wasn't expecting you until 2:30 at the very earliest. That's why I look like a just rolled out of bed. I use game show model hands to accentuate the hot mess I was.
Him: That's okay.
Me: No. It isn't.

Trying to be a gracious hostess, I let them in and told them to make themselves at home, but I had to get back in the kitchen.

We had a nice dinner. The nephew and nieces gave me their Christmas wishes. Overall, it wasn't a horrible day.

Then they left. No goodbye (directed towards me and Big Daddy). No thank you. Nothing to indicate that they were grateful we were all together minus one*.

And according to the countdown counter, we get to do it all over again in twenty nine days. This time, with gifts and higher expectations.

To be continued.

*For new readers: Daughter is in the military. She left this summer for boot camp and extended training. She was unable to come home for Thanksgiving.

Thankful

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 08:50:00 +0000

It started out on Facebook: Post something you're thankful for daily until Thanksgiving.

Photo credit via Flickr

I started out well, and then lost my focus somewhere around day three. Sometimes it's hard to focus on the good stuff when the not-so-good stuff just keeps happening.

Just this month:

the dryer died*
husband's truck died*
definitively diagnosed with a chronic condition*
thought we were the victims of bank fraud*
husband's company decided to do away with the yearly bonuses; the bonus we always earmarked for Christmas
air conditioner died
the dishwasher dies

(note: the entries marked with an * happened in November and is not a complete list)

See a trend?

In the heat of the moment, without thinking through, it is all too easy to dwell on the negative and forget the things that really matter.While hand-washing the dishes, I've had plenty of time to ponder what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving.

These are in no particular order. Because frankly, they all are interconnected in someway.

1. Big Daddy

I retract my previous statement; he has to be in the number one position, because without him, my life as I know it would cease to exist. He is spiritually my other half.

2. Jessica

Words can't describe how incredibly proud to call her my daughter. And the last few months while she has been at boot camp and training has shown me that is quite a capable young woman.

3. Nicholas

His intelligence presses me to continue to study and learn. Mostly to keep ahead of him.

4. Darrin

The sweetest boy I could ever dream of having. He makes me laugh daily. He may look like me, but he is his daddy made over.

5. Facebook

6. Living Writers Collective

7. Astacia Carter
8. My husband's job. Maybe not that specific company, but the fact he has one.
9. My neighbors, on the south side
10. Google
11. My online friends
12. My in-person friends
13. Books of all genres
14. Health insurance
15. Dental insurance
16. Prescription insurance
17. The news that the truck may not be completely dead (blown engine) like I originally thought. Still waiting on the final diagnosis
18. No one had hack our bank account.

19. We are all basically healthy.

Right now, I am the only one that takes medications for two chronic conditions and a deficiency. In the grand scheme of things, it is nothing compared to other folks.

20. Chrome/Firefox

I love me some red squiggly lines that tells me that I've made a spelling error. Now if they could get that on my iPhone...

21. Monroe, Charlie and Brownie

Charlie and Brownie can be major PITAs, and they have caused an issue with my drunken neighbor, but other than that, I love them and can't imagine not having them.

22. E

This is the baby I keep during the week. School has been out this week, which means no fill of E for me. I miss him.

23. Music.

24. The means to buy food for my family. Even a Thanksgiving dinner.

A Closer Look: Editing and the First Draft

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 12:00:00 +0000

From my list of Thirty Ways to Avoid Writing the First Draft:

22. Edit the first paragraph of the first chapter until it is perfect.

When it comes to writing the first draft of anything -- it a letter to Grandma, a blog post, or a novel -- it is important not to spend your time going back over a sentence that you've just written to ensure its perfectness.

I've have talked to a great many people well-versed in this subject manner, read a plethora of books on the craft, and even experienced it myself. The first step to getting anything written is to write it.

Let me repeat: Write. It. All of it.

Don't pause to think of a fifty-cent word or a better opener. Don't stop to move paragraphs around. Don't back up because you have a comma splice.* Trust me, it can wait.

When the creative spark is ignited, it is best to push on forward and type/write as quickly as possible. Get everything out and worry about organization later. That is why you write in drafts --emphasis on the plural. It is rare the writer that writes everything in the first sitting and has no need for edits or corrections. It's so rare, in fact, I would guesstimate that those who think they are one-hit-wonders, so to speak, are easily spotted in the crowd.

I struggle with my boys and their school writing because multiple drafts are not taught in school. It's brainstorm, rough draft, final draft, and hand in. There is a good reason for this method, but that's a topic for another day.

Let me give you an example of writing it all out:
Recently, I saw an opening for a short story contest. Long story short, I decided to enter as the maximum word count is 600 words. I am now working on the fifth draft.

Not that I am a great writer by any stretch of the imagination, but regardless of a word count, there are certain things that have to be hit. Had I wrote out the first draft, cut the original 1,404 words to 600; checked for and corrected the grammar; and then turned it in, I would have lost the contest before I'd even been judged.

I know what you are thinking: Why didn't she just stop at 600 words or Why didn't she just start cutting when the word count got close?

I had an idea for the story. Once I started writing, I let the words fall where they may. I had to make sure the main elements-- problem, conflict, climax, and resolution-- were met without limiting myself early on or losing momentum. Yes, it was very hard to cut over half of the story, but made for a much stronger story and I love it even more than I did at the end of the first draft.

The most important take-away is getting to the end of the first draft. You'll never reach the end if you spend all your time on the first paragraph of the first chapter. No matter how fabulous or revolutionary it may be. Your readers are waiting.

*Just remember to get that splice later because, yikes. You don't want Captain Grammar Pants knocking on your door.

Thirty Ways to Avoid Writing the First Draft

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Sun, 20 Nov 2011 03:43:00 +0000

It has been bandied about casually, my desire to write a book. The first one I seriously started, lost steam for a bit and then the laptop died along with 7k+ words.

Redundant backup, people. It's not just for the blog.

I've been slowly typing out the words to my next novel. And when I say slow, I mean I am only 3,302 at this very moment. Of course, it would have been closer to 4,000 had I not accidentally closed the document before hitting the confirm button on a dialog box. I might also add I've only been working on it for the last five or six months.

Apparently, I still haven't learned my lesson.

At any rate, I have a good friend that has ACTUALLY finished an entire novel and is in the query process. And being that I have read the book, I don't anticipate her wait for that acceptance call to be long.

She and I were giving each other pep talks recently and she laughed when I told her all the reasons I shouldn't be writing a book. She also went on to say that I am making up excuses and procrastinating, which prompted this blog post.

May I present: 30 Ways To Avoid Writing the First Draft
alternatively titled, "What I May or May Not Have Been Doing Instead"

1. Write a blog post
2. Clean the bathrooms. Again.
3. Look up people from high school using Google.
4. Refresh the open Facebook tab for new notifications.
5. Write witty status updates on the progress of your novel.
6. Clean out the spam folder of your email.
7. Clip and organize coupons.
8. Check for new moves on Words With Friends . {my user id is coolandhip}
9. Read books on how to write books.
10. Write short stories for contests.
11. Read Writer's Digest from cover to cover. Multiple times.
12. Nap.
13. Watch old episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" on Lifetime.
14. Be very active in an Facegroup or forum that ISN'T geared towards writing.
15. Take up crochet.
16. Teach yourself to knit.
17. Organize your clothes closet by type, fabric, and hue.
18. Rearrange a room in your house.
19. Google yourself.
20. Commit to everything.
21. Keep up with your Twitter stream and actively engage.
22. Edit the first paragraph of the first chapter until it is perfect.
23. Google authors that have their first books published.
24. Read on how to effectively complete the C25K challenge.
25. Read the latest new release in your favorite genre.
26. Do price comparisons. On anything.
27. Steam clean the carpet.
28. Try new recipes.
29. Get a full night's sleep. Every night.
30. Tell yourself that you are wasting your time.

Thirty Seven Years

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:57:00 +0000

I turn 37 today. How did that happen?

Age is just a number, I realize. I fully believed that until recently:

Just over a month ago, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
My husband used the words, "skunk stripe" when I asked him how my hair looked in the back.
I've been a mother OVER half my life.
My medicine container needs to be upgraded to the 3x-a-day model.

Aside from some body aches and a few [hundred] grey hairs probably caused from my children, my mind can't wrap around the fact that I have lived for Thirty.Seven.Years.

My eighteen-year-old self, a new mother, would not have predicted my life as I sit now. I have not accomplished anything.*

Not. A. Single. Thing.**

I am getting a little long in the tooth, as my husband would say, to go back and fix/finish some things now. The truth of the matter is not so much that I haven't accomplished anything, it's the fact that I really don't know what I want. At the age of 37, I still don't know what makes me, me.

I am surrounded by amazing, successful, and confident people. Some are younger, some older. Some are exactly the same age. I am jealous that they were able to figure out what they were meant to do and go for it. Jealous may not be the right word; it's not a green-eyed monster kind of jealousy. More of a sadness that I can't have the same success.

I've been fortunate to have pursued a variety of avenues. While most I enjoyed, and in the moment thought it was what I was meant to do forever, nothing has stuck.

As the children have grown, I've tried to be a good example for them. I've even tried to encourage them to go for the things that they want, not because society or even their dad and I expect it, but to do the things that will make them happy. Of course, being children, they don't want to listen to the old lady. They know everything already.

Some things never change.

At any rate, I did name this blog "Cool and Hip, I Am Not" in 2008 when I started it. Maybe I have unconsciously been trying to fulfill that label. Or not fill. Whatever.

Today's my birthday. And I'll cry if I want to.

* I know I have three kids. Still have a few years to go before the final results come in on how well we did raising them.

**Again, I know. Three kids who are awesome at the current moment. But I am ~~whining~~ talking about other things. My professional life beyond motherhood.

Cerra.com: Review

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:58:00 +0000

Every woman is told at least once that taking time for one's self is important. "Me time" is something that should be done for pleasure and relaxation. A way to ease the mind as well as to feel centered and balanced. No guilt should be felt for taking this precious time.

I am very guilty for not taking time for myself; however, I am the first one to encourage everyone within the sound of my voice to do so. I wrote about a little me time back in 2009, but at the time the masses didn't agree.*

Some things have changed for me personally this year, and I've needed to really focus on taking care of myself first so I can care for my family more effectively.

Enter Cerra.

From my welcome email:

Cerra™ assists you on your journey through life by helping you be aware of your thoughts and feelings, act with thoughtful intention, and reflect on your experiences. Our engaging products, interactive website and supportive web community all exist to help you grow to be your best self.

The website is tailored to meet the needs you have at that moment. It is beautifully designed, as well. This is from the front page:

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the "intentions:"

7 Intentions: Grounded, Creative Energy, Gratitude, Loving Kindness, Courage, Wisdom, Inspiration

As part of my package, I received the Me Time Pebble Candle Set from the ritual collection. Not only is this set adorable, but each candle smells AMAZING. Just opening the container makes me feel better.

Also, I received the Wisdom notes from ritual collection. I haven't dissolved any of the notes yet, because honestly? I lovethe smell of them.

Everything Cerra has to offer is infused with a matching aroma. Simply opening the packages immediately calms me.

Cerra as the tools, now we just need to use them. Cerra is the total package, and the first site that I've seen that addresses all that we need to make ourselves feel better. They are not simply out to fix what is wrong, but to teach us how to be aware, reflect, and ground ourselves to the desired state of emotional being.

My challenge to you: Check out Cerra.com. Just from initially perusing the website, what section do you find most helpful?

*After doing some updates to the blog earlier this year, one of which is the comment section, I lost ALL of my comments. So, I sound a little pretentious but I can assure you I did, at one time, have comments. Pinky swear!

Disclaimer: I was invited to become a part of Cerra.com during the launch, and sent some products in return for my honest review of the products and site. No other compensation was received. All opinions are my own. I Blog With Integrity.

Guest Post: MommyB Knows Best

noreply@blogger.com (Heather) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:26:00 +0000

When the oh-so-fabulous MommyB asked for guest posters, I jumped on the chance. I am so lucky to be able to call her my friend, as well.

Then I thought there was no way I could write anything that would be good enough to reside amongst all her wonderful posts.

It took me some time. But I did it.

And that post is up today: Life Lessons from a Baby

I'd love it if you give it a read.

Thanks. You are awesome.