The Social Media Biddy

I'm Still Here!

2011-10-21T14:17:00.001-04:00

It's been OVER a year since I've blogged here. I can't believe it. A YEAR. Really? Where did the time go?

So let's catch up on what's going on in social media:

1) It's still prevalent.
2) There's too much of it.
3) I'm overwhelmed.
4) Where's my tea?

No really, I almost can't deal with it anymore. Everyday there are new articles published, new sites go up, new logins and passwords need to be established almost daily and OMG I do not have time for this as I have a full time job, people!

However, I'm noticing a new trend that is happening with this onslaught of social media and technology: it's actually alienating some people.

Walk with me on this one...

There are a million viral videos, links, etc. out there that pop up daily. (YouTube gets something like 20 hours of videos uploaded PER MINUTE.) How dumb do you feel when you haven't seen one video/article that everyone is talking about? Or get the reference on a TV show to a meme that makes the (fake) studio audience laugh heartily, but leaves you running for Google?

In short: Social media has become maddening and makes people feel stupid and out of the loop instead of being part of a larger community. And we are feeling this way over what can mostly be categorized as ENTERTAINMENT. Our society now feels badly if we didn't see the sequel to Chocolate Rain. (Is there a sequel? I'm happy to report that I really don't know. And if there is, I really do not want to know about it...)

So let's remember to keep perspective. Social media should be social, not an addiction or compulsion. In the meantime, I plan to try and blog more so you can add one more thing to your list of sites to check. You're welcome!

Social Media is an Ongoing Cocktail Party... Pass the Vodka

2010-10-14T17:06:00.001-04:00

Cocktail party:

A gathering held to enable forty people to talk about themselves at the same time.

The man who remains after the liquor is gone is the host.

~Fred Allen

Working as a Social Media consultant/manager, I'm constantly trying to put social media into an understandable context for my clients. Often, I run across people who think social media is straight up advertising. Or that there is some sort of strategy to following certain people and that there will be instant returns on "following" big names on Twitter. Sadly, that's not how it works. (I wish it was!)

So here's what I've come up with that helps put it all in perspective: Social Media is nothing more than an ongoing cocktail party. Think about it. Social media is just a big group of people having a conversation all day all in different states of inebriation. Information is passed along, conversations are had, business information is exchanged and then everyone goes to bed.

There's no WAY to measure the instant success of a cocktail party. That business card you got may not pay off until a year later. That conversation you had that you thought would lead to new business turns out to a dead end. These are all "down the road" measurements. Just like in social media.

So what can you, a social media client and user, do to have better odds at your "ongoing cocktail party" being a success rather than a time waster? Just like at a party, use your common sense and avoid certain "guests."

* The Babbler. They are the people who just talk and talk and talk and don't listen or interact with anything you say. After about an hour of "conversation" with this guy, you realize that he hasn't asked one thing about you and could care less about you other than the fact that you're breathing and you may further HIS career. (Guy Kawasaki, I'm looking at you, pal!!) In short, these people waste your time and energy. Move along!

* The Gossip. The people who just gossip by using their Twitter and Facebook accounts to ONLY retweet/repost other sites info. I'm gonna cut to the chase: These people are useless and are only looking for attention from the people whose information they've passed along. Watch out for them, they seem helpful until you realize they are empty without any message of their own.

* The Groupies.  Just like in real life, there are people who can't understand that their idols have flaws. Ergo, their information is usually biased and flawed. AVOID!

Obviously, interactions with guests such as these can leave you very tired after a hard day of interweb surfing. They cause you to miss the messages you WANT to read. And worst of all,  they can also make you want to leave the party altogether, never to return. So what's the solution? Try as you might to find these following guests and place them amongst your lists of people you follow:

* The Intellectuals.  These are the people who have something to say that is researched and true - these are sites run usually by companies and experts. Chances are that the info you get from them is the info you need and is (hopefully) reliable.

* Trusted Friends. This is a no-brainer but often over looked. These people have your best interests in mind and if they pass along your message, it's not because they want you to pay attention to them, it's because they find your message valuable and want their friends to benefit from it as well.

Just be warned that friends and intellectuals, just like at a party, can get distracted. You know when you're at a party and a waiter drops a tray? Everyone stops and looks. It's like that on the internet. Twitter had better get the Fail Whale ready for the day Brad and Angelina break up. I'm just saying.

SO REMEMBER: Just like at a party, you can't control who reads and responds to your social media messages. But you CAN control whose messages YOU consume and how it eats up your time.

Now pass the vodka. I like mine with lots of lime...

Really? A New Twitter?

2010-09-22T17:01:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm. Okay. A new Twitter layout. AGAIN. This is their video they put out for it (thanks JustLinda!) and I really have no idea what the first 1:45 have to do with anything. Maybe I'm a fuddy duddy, but it just seems like the (good?) folks at Twitter hired the last java drinking hipster they found on the street stroking his thoughtfully yet sparsely grown beard to make them a video.

This is all well and good. The new layout seems useful. However! How much do you want to bet that one aspect does NOT change?

Photo by libraryman

Thoughts? Does anyone out there have the new layout yet? I'm still stuck in early 2010 with my account.

Monday Morning Tea on Friday... Shut Up, My Rules!

2010-07-02T11:34:00.000-04:00

"Enjoy life sip by sip, not gulp by gulp."

-- The Minister of Leaves

HI! I know, I've been absent. But I'm back. And so are my opinions. Let the rejoicing commence.

So we all know that Facebook has been in the Twitter and blog headlines lately what with their lack of respect for privacy and mankind in general. (I told you my opinions were back!) Now even though they have back-peddled on their disregard I'm now very hesitant as to what I "like" on Facebook. (And in real life. And I wonder why I'm single...)

I now don't feel like sharing. I know - a collective gasp just rang out. But I really don't need (or want) everyone to know that I like The Big Bang Theory phrase, "Bazinga." Do I need to like this? Do you need to know I like this? (I can hear you shaking your head, "No," from here...) Moreover, do I need to know that you think a pickle is more popular than Nickleback? I mean at least tell me something I'll be surprised by as anything is more popular than Nickleback. C'mon.

Sip, don't gulp. Before hitting "like" on the old Facebook, think about it, "Do I REALLY like this? Or do I just think it's cute in the moment?" I feel like by being a bit more discerning about what we "like" on Facebook, we can actually be more honest to who we are and our socializing with our friends. And my need to hide you on my Facebook feed diminishes. Because I want to like YOU. I really do! (But not Sally Field. I really don't.)

Think before you click.

Keep Facebook newsfeeds clutter free and

let everyone know who the REAL you is!

Monday Tea with The Social Media Biddy: Condolences

2010-05-24T11:26:00.001-04:00

"Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things." ~ Chaim Potok

Today's tea will be brief. One week ago today my father passed away. By far, this was the most tragic issue I've had to deal with. I really didn't have the strength to call any of my friends about it. But thanks to social media, I was able to tweet: "RIP Dad... 67 years was not quite enough." And thanks to social media, my friends all got the message and the condolences and waves of support flooded into my email, Facebook and Twitter inboxes. THESE MESSAGES HELPED GET ME THROUGH THE WEEK. It's amazing how 140 characters or less can make a person forget their grief for a minute to smile.

The point of today's blog is to remind you to use social media for good. Reach out to your loved ones and friends. Say "hi." Wish them well on a project. Don't just use it to "make money" and tell people that you own the real trick to losing stomach fat or teeth whitening.

STOP THE NOISE. Keep the love.

Social Media is NOT a Fad! SO THERE!

2010-05-14T11:35:00.000-04:00

As a social media consultant/manager, I can't tell you how often I hear: "I don't get Twitter, so I don't think I need it. Plus it's free so why should I pay someone to run it?" (This is the part where I tear my hair out and say horrible bad words and then eat a pound of chocolate in 10 minutes.)

Ignorance kills me. And my wallet.

Why are people so afraid of change? And why are they so unwilling to learn something new? And why are they able to hire/pay money someone to mow their lawn but not handle their social media? Is it because they understand lawnmowers?

Sometimes I just want to give up.

My friend Marcy alerted me to this great great great video posted by Big Is The New Small. Give it a lookie loo. It really hits some good points. And reminded me that I need to get out my Fat Boy Slim CD's. That's right. CD's. I'm so old school.

Mark Zuckerberg Can (Still) Suck It: Part 2

2010-05-12T17:20:00.001-04:00

I'm very glad to know that I'm not the only one calling bullshit on Facebook's, Mark Zuckerberg. So very glad. (You can read Part 1 here.)

So here are some other tidbits from around the net on the subject:

Check out this video from 1938 Media. VERY interesting... potty mouth and all:

And according to AllFacebook, Facebook is having a meeting to discuss their privacy issues. (I hope they broadcast this meeting since, you know, privacy doesn't exist in Zuckerberg's world...)

And finally... Remember how we all wondered, "What's the next Facebook?" Diaspora is hoping to be the next big thing.

So whaddaya think, Zuckerberg? PWNED!

I May Need a Hobby... Or a Life. Either.

2010-05-06T11:59:00.000-04:00

When I signed onto the Matrix this morning, I was greeted by a spinning circle. No, not a hula hoop. (But how awesome would that have been??) It was the spinning circle of cyber-death letting me know that Hootsuite was not up to hooting this morning. The night owl called in sick and was home sleeping on his "scheduled maintenance" bender.

"Fend for yourself! I'm on holiday, suckers."

Fact: The Interweb is starting to qualify as my life partner. I need to face facts: I'm relying on too many gadgets and pages and whatnot to enhance my social interactions, and when they are down, I am a sad mess. There are whole days that pass where I don't speak directly to another human being, but we type at each other a lot. (OH but I do talk to my dog. But I'm pretty sure that doesn't count...)

Question: Did people have the same panic back in the "old days" if Jimmy didn't show up for Semaphore Flag Duty? ("Hi Mr. Boss, it's Jimmy. I can't come in today, my arms hurt because our cow ran over them. But I'll be back in a short 6 weeks!") What about when it rained out any smoke signal communications? ("Mmm. Sky angry. Did not want me to break up with Running Hairs via smoke signal today. Crap.")

Observation: I need to take control of my life back. Here's my simple plan:

* Step one: Put laptop down and get off the couch.

* Step two: Do not run back to couch in a panic after 2 minutes to hit "refresh" on Hootsuite/Facebook/Twitter because, "I need to know if there's a new People of Walmart posting!!!"

* Step Three: Stop crying!!

* Step Four: Go outside. Walk away from the apartment...

* Step Five: Seriously, with the crying already....

Sigh.... I'll let you know how this goes. I may need to buy some tissues while I'm "outside" in the "real world." If only I could use the GPS on my phone to navigate... and to see what people are wearing at Walmart today....

Question: What do YOU do when your social network is down?

Panic? Rejoice? Finally get that closet cleaned?

SOUND OFF BELOW!

Monday Tea with the Social Media Biddy: "Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg Can Suck It"

2010-05-03T13:10:00.000-04:00

It's another Monday already! It's time to pour a cup of tea (Jasmine Oolong today) and bitch about... uh, "discus" today's topic: "Full Disclosure is the new Privacy."

"A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes

to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there,

as if he needed company.

The only way for this father to be certain

of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."

~Bill Cosby

Recently it came to light that Facebook's CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, has zero regard for your privacy as a user of Facebook. And as a user of Facebook, I'd like to assert that Mark Zuckerberg can suck it.

Privacy is not a new fad. Greta Garbo said it best when she stated in Grand Hotel, "I want to be alone." YES MA'AM! I've wanted privacy as long as I can remember. I love privacy! So much so that when I was a kid, I (along with every other kid in the 80's) had a hanging-tag sign on my bedroom door very similar to this below:

If privacy was SO important to us then,

why do companies think it isn't important to us anymore?

I want to be able to join groups without becoming a statistic. Look, I'm a dork. I want to join dumb groups about my dumb interests BUT I don't need this info A) announced to the public at large, B) open to marketers who will then try/hassle me to buy things related to my dumb groups and C) open to other people on that page that will encourage them to connect with me. LEAVE ME ALONE! I just want to like my pages about bacon in the privacy of my own laptop, thank you very much. (TMI?)

And let's be honest, how many of us "like" something out of courtesy to a friend? I know I have. It's like seeing a friend's show because you want to support them, not necessarily because you're a fan or that you "like" it. So how accurate is this Open Graph of information that marketers will be getting? Have they thought about the error margin? Is it worth the cost?

Granted, Facebook is free. I'm sure this is their argument for all the changes: "We need to make money for you to use this page." Yes. You do. Just not at your customers' personal expense.

Honesty time: if Facebook wants to improve its web presence, how about getting your website to work correctly first before you make changes to it? Oh snap, I said it. Facebook is a hot mess. I can't remember the last time this page worked correctly. I don't get notifications anymore. Nor am I told when I have a new message. I now have to take more of my valuable time to scan my page for comments and then go to the pages I commented on to see if anybody commented. My news feed page "loops" and I get the same status updates over and over, and then sometimes not at all. So the "new and improved Facebook" actually now just SUCKS for the user, which seems counter-productive to a business owner who wants to stay in business. That's just basic economics. And manners. (Stand up straight!)

IN SHORT: Mark Zuckerberg needs to think about the users of Facebook as without us, he has nothing. I wish companies would remember this. Without customers, you are out of business. Without customers, the marketers who use Open Graph to see what we're up to will have nothing. And if Mark thinks that there won't be another social networking page that will come out and rival Facebook and steal us all away with promises of privacy, may I introduce him to the dinosaurs of the social networking world, Friendster and MySpace?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? RETWEET, POST COMMENTS BELOW AND SOUND OFF!

Monday Tea with The Social Media Biddy: "I miss MySpace. There. I said it."

2010-04-26T14:07:00.000-04:00

It's Monday Tea Time with the Social Media Biddy! Today I'm drinking Jasmine Green tea, my all time fave. So get yourself a "hot cuppa somethin'" and let's get chatting about today's topic!

Today's Monday Tea Topic:

"I miss MySpace. There. I said it."

In 2005, I caved to peer pressure and joined my first social networking page: MySpace. Maybe it's like your first love, you never get over it and compare every new guy... uhhh "page" to your first time... ummm, "page." Cough cough. Ahem. Moving on....

Fact: I met more people on MySpace than I have on Facebook. And it was easy. EVERYTHING was in one place. Blog, comments, messages, etc. If someone new commented on my blog, with one click I could see who they are and talk to them. ONE CLICK. Everybody's name was the same when they posted on your blog or on your page. We were all in one arena! Now, not so much.

Fact: MySpace blew it. Big time. The spam. The multiple account hackings. The bedazzled "Thanks for adding me!" bullshit (I said it!). MySpace became a freaky hot mess in desperate need of renovation. But to renovate would cost them money and possibly shutting down the site while they retooled. And Facebook and Twitter took advantage of the frustration of MySpace users and lured us away with the promise of clean pages, no spam and only a 140 character with which to annoy others.

Myth: Facebook and Twitter are better than MySpace. Okay, don't throw anything at me, k? But they aren't as far as social media is concerned in my book. Facebook does not lend itself to meeting people easily at all. Twitter does a little bit better than FB, but not much. The main problem, social media is now all scattered throughout the interweb's universe whereas MySpace had it all in one place.

Fact: I have no idea where to find anybody. Between Facebook accounts (which includes fan/"like" pages, groups, etc) and Twitter accounts and blogs and YouTube channels and personal websites... Holy crap, my address book is full! When I was on MySpace (and I still have a lonely page) I had my blog, videos, info and readers all in one spot. (ONE SPOT - I can't emphasize how key and easy this is...) It took very little time to check my page and get on with my day. Now, I check a billion pages and then wonder where my day went.

Fact: One page + one user name = User friendly! I get so confused easily. (I know, I'm walking into a plethora of jokes to be made at my expense here...) People have one name on their Facebook, another on their Twitter and yet another on their blog. (Even I'm guilty of this. Dam you, "branding"!) Sometimes when people comment on my Blogger sites, I have NO IDEA that I know them because I didn't recognize the name they logged in with. And then Thor-forbid I want to find out more about a new reader. I click on their profile only to be taken to another page, then to another page, then I need to hunt to find Facebook page... it's a lot of clicks, and I definitely have adult ADD. Bring back the days of ONE CLICK! MY TIME IS VALUABLE! Plus I callous easily... Hmph.

Fact: Traffic was contained and greater on MySpace. I had over 2000 subscribers to my blog on MySpace. I got tens of thousands of hits a week. Now, on Blogger, to follow me you have to have a Google account (which not everyone has) and I get a few thousand hits a week. (I'm not complaining, it's just a severe drop.)

Fact: When everybody left MySpace, we all lost touch. Everyone has a billion blogs bookmarked to read instead of just letting MySpace alert you to a new posting. It became too much and people had to make cuts. (Cue one sad tear rolling down my cheek...)

Fact: I am fussy and crabby. You may read this blog and think, "Of for the love of Steve Jobs, Social Media Biddy, please do us all a favor and get a hobby and a boyfriend." Boyfriend or not, I'd still miss MySpace. I'm off now to promote this blog posting (which I never had to do on MySpace, btw...). I need to post it on Twitter and my fan page and Facebook page. I use to be able to just click "post" and voila, it was done. Just like my love life. HAHAHHAAA. No really...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT HOW SPREAD OUT SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOW?

Is it better? Worse? What do you miss?

What new things do you like?

Why is MySpace just for teens and music now?

Can we ever go back?

Chime in on the comments below!

*****

"Alas, poor MySpace! I knew it well."

~ Poorly quoted and parodied "Hamlet" quote by The Social Media Biddy

Biddy Mad, Biddy Smash!

2010-04-23T13:08:00.000-04:00

"Pleasure is often spoiled by describing it."

~ Stendhal

Okay, I've tried to be nice about this. But it really feels like everybody has lost their Thor-damned minds. So I'll say it again, and maybe it will get through this time: "POSTING TV SPOILERS ON TWITTER IS CYBER RUDENESS!"

Spoilers ruin it for everybody. Take last night for example. At exactly 10:58pm EST, the winner of Project Runway was announced via Twitter by a plethora of people. People, mind you, who should know better like Bluefly (who is a sponsor of the show!) and LA Models. Not only did they ruin the outcome for the entire West Coast and Mountain regions, they ruined it for anybody who wasn't watching it in real time. Jerks! Posting spoilers tells me that you are insecure and need people to pay attention to you. That's it. You are not a news source. It's just gross and desperate. Like lima beans. So just don't serve it up.

Possible resolutions to TV Spoilers....

* Chat rooms. Oh my, remember those? What a throw back! But seriously, these worked. You could talk to other folks who are watching the same time you are so you can all bitch/celebrate together. That way you feel good about watching the show with your peers, get to vent and people who didn't see the show yet are none the wiser to your opinions.

* Phone Calls / Texts. Everybody has a cell phone. USE IT. There's gotta be an app for that.

* Better filters on Facebook and Twitter. A reader told me that she has to hide people on Facebook on certain nights because she knows they will spoil everything. Genius and a waste of her time. Why should she have to take the time to hide/unhide people when THEY are the troublemaker? Wouldn't it be great if Twitter and Facebook had a filter system so you can type in keywords that you don't want to see in your timeline? That way I could have written the title of the show, the contestants' names and other key words like, "wins," to avoid having the show spoiled.

* Be vague. Post something like, "Who wants to talk Project Runway?" Then people who do CAN talk to you. Or: "Click here if you want to see who won!" Also, keep emotions out of it because those are spoilers too.

* WHEN IN DOUBT, SHUT UP. This has really become my mantra on this blog. If you think you might be saying something out of turn, then don't. JUST WAIT. Will you explode? Nope. Will the world stop spinning? Not so much. Will your online friends love you and not write blogs about you? Yes.

From now on the only spoiler I care to see online is this:

And even though it's a whole bunch of stupid, it's smarter than posting TV spoilers. Not much smarter, but at least enough...

Monday Tea with The Social Media Biddy: "Spoilers!"

2010-04-19T10:23:00.001-04:00

GOOD MORNING! I'm drinking Earl Grey this morning, so my neurons are extra feisty from the caffeine.

Today's topic: Spoilers in social media. When I lived on the west coast, I had to turn off all social media around 5pm so as to not find out who was eliminated, declared the winner or what the plot point a network promo had been running all week as "the biggest shocker of the season." Face it, seeing a spoiler online is like finding that year old tomato in the back of your fridge. It stinks.

My recent spoiler: Project Runway. If you don't follow the show (and who can blame you at this point since Bunim/Murray Productions has done its best to kill this once great beast) let me fill you in: It's finale time and there was an elimination between two designers to see who would show their line at fashion week. Well, I knew who won due to Twitter conversations between the winning designer and her model. The result: SPOILED. I knew that @bravenewfrock was going to Fashion Week with her model, @antimodel.

However, the designer and model did nothing wrong except use social media. They never said openly, "we win!" but their happy exchanges via Twitter and the fact that the designer was at a viewing party with some past designers clued me in: "These two are celebrating. Obviously they continue." And as a result, the episode was bland, lame and predictable. In short: It was ruined.

So what can we do?

* Think about the message you're sending out into the Twitterverse. I'm sick of people saying, "But I didn't say who won!" Yes, but if I know who you are rooting for and your tweet is: "SQUEEEEE!" then I know who won. See how that works? My brain is able to deduce from your clues what happened. (PS - You're not as clever as you think you are...)

* Shut up. This is the easiest tip. Just shut up. I say this a lot in this blog, but it's failsafe. Email, don't tweet or Facebook or semaphore flag or whatever your mode of gab is. Get it out, but to a pointed audience of people who have either just seen what you saw or are on board to hear what happened.

Together, we can keep TV a surprise! In the 80's, the west coast had no idea who shot JR until it aired there. Let's keep it that way now. (Although I'm still not sure who shot JR, so maybe I could use a spoiler or two there.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Brew a cup of tea and join the conversation in the comments below!

Monday Tea with The Social Media Biddy: "Can I Mulch My Old Comments Online?"

2010-04-12T00:48:00.004-04:00

Good morning! I have a lot to say today so turn on your kettle, steep your tea and let's get our brains brewing! (I'll shut up with the tea analogies...)

I've been thinking about the environment a lot lately. Maybe its because I watched Food Inc. and No Impact Man: A Documentary within 48 hours of each other. (BTW - you will feel like a horrible human being after watching these documentaries. I basically feel like I'm a Monopoly Enabling Planet Killer. I really should just turn myself in to the EPA...)

There is a lot of focus on the sustainable community in the news today. I have to admit, I love this idea. I love the idea of gardens to feed families and solar panels for energy. I love the practice of re-purposing household items, recycling whenever possible and creating less garbage for landfills. HOORAY! What a responsible movement! But then I had to pause as my brain produced the following question: Is there any such thing as an online sustainable community?

Social media kills polar bears. Okay, not literally. But think about it. Our addiction to online content and interaction is not environmentally sound. Think about the packaging your new computer arrives in (via vehicle). Then think about how many trees went into making the instruction manual you will never use. Then think about the electricity your computer uses and its carbon emissions. Mind boggling! Then multiply that irresponsibility with all the crap that you buy to go with your computer, such as speakers, a printer, an external hard drive, camera, iPod, scanner, and so on. Then (that's right, it's not over yet!) take our obsession with "new," "better" and "faster." (That's what she said.) People upgrade their computers every few years. And now with smart phones becoming mainstream, those are being upgraded all the time! How many computers/cell phones have you gone through in your life? And how many did you simply throw in the trash when you were done with them? How many of you want to throw up thinking about it?

How can we make our online communities sustainable without employing Al Gore? I have to admit, I find it interesting that so many "green" companies are on the web using Twitter, Facebook, blogs and YouTube in addition to their own websites. Aren't they encouraging us to be environmentally unfriendly while learning how to be environmentally friendly?

"Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent.

It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction."

~ Albert Einstein

So what's the answer to this dilemma short of switching over to organic semaphore flags? (I'd love to see the App store for that!) The truth is, I don't know. But I am now VERY aware of when my computer is on and if it's on when I'm not using it. I'd love to turn it off for a day but my job is as a writer and social media manager. How can I manage to keep up in the competitive workplace without using a computer?

So what can I do? What do YOU do?

Please sound off and join in the conversation in the comments! I'm eager to hear your take on this topic. If you have any backed up statistics, that would be awesome as I could only find random articles that had different stats all over the place. Until then, I'm going to be buying a solar panel to run my electric kettle...

I Did Not Order This Spam...

2010-04-09T11:47:00.001-04:00

BLECH! I have an aversion to all sorts of spam.

Canned and otherwise...

"Nobody loves me."

My biggest pet peeve right now are pre-set instant direct messages (DMs) that hit my Twitter in-box. UGH! Nothing makes me angrier! (Okay, not completely true as many things make me angry, like trying to match up and fold socks out of the laundry. Seriously. Complete hissy fit.)

Here's why spam-direct-messages send out a negative first impression:

* I don't know you yet, so shut it. I often follow people online to SEE if I want to keep following them. I want to see what their tweets are like and if I find them enjoyable and fit to take up space in my Twitter feed.

* Pre-set direct messages are extremely impersonal and it looks like you missed the boat on the point of social media. The point of social media is to INTERACT. I want to talk WITH someone, not be talked at by a faceless bot. (If I wanted to be talked at, I'd have stayed a teenager in 10th grade history class. Horrible teacher! Worksheets do not teach history, mister!)

* Don't beg, its ugly. (This rule can also be applied toward dating, but I digress....) Basically your direct message says: "Hey, I'm super huge here on the interwebs, I'm smug and I love myself so much that I need to tell you everything about me so you will love me more than I love myself!!" Okay, that's a bit much, but think about it. These direct messages always come across as desperate to me and like its hiding low-self-esteem behind fake bravado. Your DM may give me a list of websites you run, but all I see is: "LOVE ME! FOLLOW ME FOREVER! MY MOM DOESN'T RETURN MY PHONE CALLS!"

Here are some ideas though for direct messages when you gain a new follower:

* If you want to send a DM welcoming them, give them the old "Bridget Jones" treatment. For those of you who haven't read the book, shame on you, but I will explain. Bridget introduces everyone with their name and a fun fact that she thinks the other people in the social circle will appreciate. For instance: "Welcome @thesocialbiddy! I love animation, who did your animated drawing on your profile?" This sort of DM will make me feel warm and fuzzy. It shows that they actually LOOKED at my avatar at least and that this note was crafted for me PLUS I got some info about them that doesn't necessarily have anything to do with their business. I just formed an online relationship!

* Your DM's should NOT be all sales pitches! Ugh. If I'm following you, I know what you sell. Don't shove it down my throat. Yes, let me know about specials and deals, but an everyday "flyer" in my DM box will make me unfollow you. Remember: aggressive salesmen are gross, online or in person.

* Last, but not least, you do not HAVE to send a DM right away. GASP! But don't worry, I won't leave! (Unless your tweets prove annoying and I figure out that your mother indeed does NOT return your calls and for good reason...) No need to be the Welcome Wagon within the first 20 seconds of us "meeting." It's truly okay to let it go a bit. See if you like my tweets as well. Are we a match? If so, we should meet for coffee. I mean, send me a DM.

In short: Be a friend and shut up. Don't bug your followers. Don't pollute their DM box. Don't be an online a-hole. Just be yourself. Engage in conversations and feel free to veer away from your business! People love finding out that there's someone at their favorite company has something in common with them. And PS - it's also prone to make that person pay more attention to your tweets/DM's when they ARE about business as you are now their friend and not the dreaded "salesman."

Now go out there and make friends!

And stand up straight!!

Monday Tea with The Social Media Biddy: "Who Do You Get Your News From?"

2010-04-05T01:45:00.001-04:00

"Tea is instant wisdom - just add water!"

~Astrid Alauda

Or reworded to apply to social media:

"The Internet is instant wisdom - just add Tweeters!"

GOOD MORNING! It's Monday and that means it's time for our weekly tea together. So please pour yourself a cup and let's get to this morning's topic: "Are Twitter feeds and blog sites replacing the Associated Press?"

This topic has been steeping in my teapot all week long. It started with an article in Tech Crunch: "Study: 52% of Bloggers Consider Themselves Journalists." Holy tea bags. That's an incredible percentage, isn't it? As a long time blogger I will go on record saying that I do not consider myself a journalist. (I consider myself a fussbudget columnist at best, annoying at worst.) Maybe I'm just old fashioned and for me to consider someone to be a journalist they must have the stature, reliability and prestige of Walter Cronkite, who is this biddy's all time fave. (Did I show my age? I showed my age.)

And yet... I have to admit that I'm "guilty" of getting my news via my Twitter feed from "blogger journalists." For example, I subscribe to a lot of blogs that post news around where I live in NYC. None of these sites are official "news channels." But I turn to them before going to the New York Times for my info. I basically have acknowledged these folks as journalists by using their sites in this manner. (Sorry, Walter!)

A specific example of my getting news from a non-news-source: Yesterday's earthquake. I just got home from a weekend of merriment and Easter-sugar-engorgement with my family. (Oh Cadbury, why can't you eggs be a year round staple?) I realized that I'd been living like I was Amish and had been out of touch with the world since Friday. So what did I do? I did not pick up a newspaper. I did not turn on the radio. I did not turn on the TV. I turned on the computer and logged onto my social media accounts FOR NEWS.

BREAKING NEWS: I got wind of the earthquake on the west coast via crack reporter, Felicia Day:

feliciaday

EARTHQUAKE!about 6 hours ago via web

Seriously. This is how I found out about the earthquake. From Codex. From the Sears appliance saleswoman. From Dr. Horrible's crush. It's weird, right?

And then before the LA Times could tweet a news link with backed up facts, I found out that it was a 6.9 earthquake out of Baja, Mexico via my Twitter friends-turned-journalists. Furthermore, while I waited for a real news source to confirm my Twitter reporter friends, I learned that all my friends were fine: some were eating Mexican food (ironically) when it happened, others watched swimming pools slosh around, while others completely missed it and like the rest of me, instead of turning on their TVs, they posed their question to the Internet for reliable information: "Was there really an earthquake? I slept through it!"

Is this growing trend why CNN posted a severe ratings decline lately? I know I'm guilty of not helping this network out anymore. It used to be my default "what's going on in the world today" station. When 9-11 and Katrina hit, I had CNN on 24/7. Now I don't even have cable. I really don't feel like I need it between podcasts and Internet access. (But I do subscribe to CNN's Twitter feed which told me the earthquake had been upgraded to a 7.2... I'm not helping my own case, am I?)

I'm not alone in how I use the internet for news. Even The New York Times cited Twitter in their official article about the quake. Wow. I can not imagine Walter Cronkite saying, "And according to the Twitterverse..."

The (sad) conclusion: 140 characters seems to be enough news for me, and you don't have to be Walter Cronkite for me to take your information at face value. Which is not a good situation, is it? Am I getting the whole story? Through what viewpoint are the facts being presented to me? What's being left out? What's completely not true? What's just crap?

This blog has opened my eyes. No, that's not me patting my own back (although healthy self-esteem is a good thing). I realized by writing this blog that I need to take more responsibility in what I decide to absorb as news. I need to remember the source. I need to hunt for facts. In short... I need to not rely on 140 characters to tell me the whole story. But in the meantime, if Felicia Day could end all her tweets with Cronkite's sign-off, "And that's the way it is," that would help ease my "Twitter is News" guilt. (After all its only 24 characters, leaving 116 for news. That's enough, right?)

What do you think about this topic?

Pour yourself another cup and tell me in the comments section!

Sometimes 'No Comment' is the Best Comment

2010-04-02T12:29:00.001-04:00

I can't tell you how many times I've signed onto my Facebook page,

read my comments on a post and thought:

"AHHH! MY MOTHER READS THIS!"

Public enemy #1?

Has everybody lost their mind? What happened to politeness? What happened to online social savvy? What happened to MySpace??? (Oh wait, that's another blog altogether...) Lately I've noticed some "not cool" comments on the interwebs, so I'm taking that as a cue to reintroduce a few basic tips so we can all play well with others.

Comments meant just for your friend are read by EVERYBODY. I feel like this is often forgotten, just like saying "please," "thank you," and "Social Media Biddy, I think you're the most gorgeous woman on the planet." That crappy comment you leave is a stain on your friend's wall, which will stay there and be read by every one of their friends until your friend can get online and delete it. Good rule of thumb, if you have to think twice before posting it, don't. (Just like when the waiter says, "Don't touch the plate." DON'T TOUCH THE PLATE!)

Remember, family members, bosses, co-workers, etc. are all on Facebook. Before you comment, think to yourself, "Can this do more harm than good?" (Like the canned meat Spam, more harm, less good. BLECH.) Bosses may not be amused by a friend's recount of your drunken escapades the night before. And your friend's mother may not need to see whatever sexual innuendo you coined for the day. Be respectful of your friend's audience. If they haven't introduced the topic on their own, it's not up to you to start the party.

Keep personal comments in MESSAGES. Remember those things? (Probably not, ergo the Post Office going proposing halting Saturday deliveries...) Please reintroduce yourself to the private message. I promise it won't bite. (Even if you want it to.) It can be a great tool for your social media arsenal. You'll get to say all that you want without any backlash. And your friend's mother will still think her daughter is without fault, sin or flaw. (HAHHAAA! Ah... to dream...)

When commenting, keep your comments on task. Gosh that sounds business like, but how many times have you posted something about Subject A only to have someone comment with, "How are you?" Not appropriate! That's like sitting in a meeting and the boss says: "We are going to launch a new campaign tomorrow," and your swift response is, "What are you having for lunch today?" See, these two things don't belong together. So if your comment is a new subject, start a new thread so other people who have left comments don't have to sit through your new conversation that they didn't want to be a part of in the first place. (This isn't Congress you know...)

Don't be a jerk. Point out errors, corrections, etc in private messages. Pointing out typos, factual errors, et al in a public manner can just embarrass your friend instead of helping them. Again, I mention the "private message" function. Learn it, love it, use it.

In short, be a friend online! Don't comment JUST to comment. I'm going back to my main focus of this blog: HAVE A FLUENT CONVERSATION. Remember your manners, remember your audience and for goodness sake, stand up straight!

Monday Tea with the Social Media Biddy

2010-03-29T11:12:00.001-04:00

"Architecture is basically a container of something.

I hope they will enjoy not so much the teacup, but the tea."

-- Yoshio Taniguchi

I believe that Yoshio's quote can also be applied to social media:

"Social media is basically a container of something.

I hope they will enjoy not so much the technology but the conversation."

GOOD MORNING! Pour yourself a cup of tea (or coffee, I don't judge) and let's chat about social media this morning. Today's topic, "The only person enjoying the sound of your Tweets is you."

As I scroll through the tweeters I follow, I can't help but notice how one-sided these "conversations" are. Follow this person! Read this blog I found that I don't know who wrote but I hope they will love me if I tweet them! I have nothing to say but am tweeting! And to boot, very few people answer questions when posted. (WHICH DRIVES ME NUTS.) What's the point of following me (especially if you aren't going to respond to me) other than to increase your numbers? (And those numbers, by the way, are useless and inaccurate measurements. Like the term "stone" in England for weight. Seriously...)

People who follow large amounts of people are virtually useless as a conversationalist. Think about it. Right now I follow about 140 people, which isn't a lot as far as Twitter goes. And some of the people I follow are... how shall I say this? They are verbose. They clog my feed with 15 tweets at once. Or one blasts out every couple of minutes. And is what are they saying that's original? (HAHAHAA! Oh optimism is so cute.) I'd say 90% of them are just re-tweeting something they saw, plugging a product or plugging another Tweeter who's attention they are hoping to grab. (Twitter is the new high school!) This, in short, makes it very hard to start up a conversation.

And God help you if you have a lot of interests. This means you'll be following a lot of people in different categories and its very easy to get lost and miss the tweets you'd like to see.

How can conversations happen again?

* Delete the "cloggers." Because they aren't reading your tweets, guaranteed so why should you do them the favor they won't return?

* Have multiple Tweet profiles. Have one for just friends and then have others for your niche interests.

* USE THE LISTS FUNCTION! Most people find them annoying or rarely use them but for me they have been a lifesaver. In my personal account, I have lists for "Fashion," "Bacon," "Tea," and "NYC" to name a few. This really comes in handy when I open my Twitter and see personal friends tweets next to "coming soon!" tweets next to "Bacon is the best food in the world!" (Which it is.) This is a great filter for clutter. Take the 10 minutes and sort your "Following" list. Follow other people's lists so that you don't have to follow everybody under the sun.

* START TALKING TO PEOPLE. It's just that easy. See a funny tweet? Respond to it! Somebody ask a question? Answer it! Somebody send you a tweet specifically - DEFINITELY answer it.

In short, don't be a tea party pooper. Take a deep breath and BE social. And don't spill tea on your keyboard while you're chatting. Just saying. Messy. But at least you'll be able to tweet immediately: "Does anybody know how to clean tea out of keyboard? #iamanidiot"

Remember: Spay and neuter your pets.

And your Twitter feed.

You Need Your Mouth Cleaned Out with Virtual Soap, Young Man!

2010-03-23T12:58:00.002-04:00

"Mind your manners and watch your phraseology!"

-- The Social Media Biddy (with help from "The Music Man")

My mother raised my sister and I with the following wisdom: "Treat others as you would like them to treat you." So that meant I was nice to the meanest kid, I didn't call anybody nasty names and I ate my lima beans without telling my mother exactly where I thought she could shove them.

But with the advent of social media, it seems like it's also been the simultaneous death of manners and social etiquette. I say this because I work in social media and when I logged off yesterday I noticed that I was depressed. Not grumpy, not just a little sad, but full-on depressed. Why? Because all day I was ingesting the e-hate being slung around the internet (from both sides) regarding health reform. It was truly a sad day. The internet had reverted into a playground where motherly wisdom ceased to exist.

I love that we can voice our opinions in this country. I think it's one of America's greatest freedoms. (I never worry that the "secret police" are going to haul me and my dog off in the middle of the night.) And yes, taking to your Twitter & Facebook account to voice your opinion is definitely your right as an American. HOWEVER, remember your words affect others around you.

Social media should bring us together, not tear us apart. Yesterday there were a lot of posts about "I'm going to un-friend anybody who says..." and "...if you don't think the way I do then you are (insert childish name calling here)." These things were posted by adults. All growned-up adults. Yet they read like petty children were the authors.

With social media comes social responsibility. It's great that you have an opinion, but find your audience. Because think about it, how many times have you been swayed to re-think your position on a topic based on someone's Facebook status? I'm gonna take a guess and say, "Never." So guess what, nobody's going to be swayed by your status.

So what's the answer? Form a page for others to join that share your opinion. Write letters to the editor. Start a blog. This will help others on the internet who share your opinion find you and then the two of you can have a conversation without bringing others into it who didn't want to be there in the first place.

And if you MUST put your opinion about politics/religion/et al in your status update, for the love of all that's holy, DO NOT NAME CALL. Do not make people feel badly about themselves. Because all this does is further draw us apart as a country instead of bringing us together. Which by the way, social media is about bringing people together. So use it properly, young men and ladies!

Be part of positive change that we can all participate in together no matter your religion or political beliefs. Be nice to your fellow internet friends. Think about your words before you hit "tweet" or "share." Together we can make a difference! And I won't get depressed anymore. I'm a very sensitive biddy.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments and remember to MIND YOUR MANNERS! :)

Rome's Social Community Wasn't Built in a Day, Y'know

2010-03-22T12:45:00.000-04:00

I'd like to start our budding relationship with a bit of Social Media Biddy advice. Are you ready? Here goes:

"It's just the interwebs. Calm the F down! And stand up straight while you're at it!"

PHEW! I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

I should preface that burst of advice with the fact that I love the new world of social media. Okay, "love" is too weak a word. I adore it. Swoon over it. If it weren't age-inappropriate, I'd make a heart shape with my hands and yell "squeeee!" aloud. But that would be sad. (But a great YouTube video...)

My major gripes with social media are the unreasonable expectations that people have toward it. For instance, too many people expect that THE DAY their company joins the social media community via Twitter or Facebook that their profits will soar, their brand will flourish around the world and they will be able to take early retirement and wallpaper their new mansion with all their newly acquired money. I'm here to be the voice of reason (and the poop on your shoe) and tell you, "Meh. Not so much. And you should still really stand up straight."

YES, social media is important since it's how a majority of people send and receive information. Rarely is anyone absorbing an ad they see in a magazine. DVRs have made commercials all but a quick blip on our flat screens. (Unless it's the Super Bowl, then you fast forward during the game, right?) And radio... what's a radio? Podcasts and internet stations have no commercials and flood the ear canals of modern society.

YES, people are turning to Twitter, Facebook and blogs as their sources of information. Be it catching up with a high school friend, finding out what your favorite restaurant is serving as a special that night or snooping around to find out that your daughter is *gasp* "in a relationship." (I can only imagine my mother would gasp if I were in a relationship. That or just stop breathing all together. This is why I don't date. To keep her healthy. Yeah, that's it...)

HOWEVER, people are now CHOOSING what messages they get. It's not like the old days of television (did I really just type that??) when you were just shown random commercials and you had no choice but to sit through them or go to the bathroom to avoid them. Now, I actually think it's harder for advertisers all around, even on social media sites because your audience isn't being "forced" to hear your message anymore. Now, people will listen to your message but only after you have EARNED it.

So what can companies learn from this? Easy-peasy: GENUINELY CONNECT with your patrons. Find out what they want and need. And be forewarned, this process takes time. We live in a world where technology and instant gratificatin has taken over every aspect of our lives. (Or so it seems, my dog now says "Press 1 for me to bark, press 2 for me to look adorable or press 3 for me to not listen to anything you say and pee on the rug." PS - I choose 2 but always end up with 3... or is it the other way around...?)

In summary, get it through your skull:

* Your company is not going to get rich overnight
* Just because you get 25 new "followers" in an hour does NOT mean you have 25 new customers
* Social media takes time
* Social media should be FUN for your followers/readers, not just a 24/7 advertisement
* Social media should not be a competition
* BE HUMAN. If I want a bot, I'll call an any customer service line and wait on hold while being talked at by a robot, "You're call is very important to us..."

So remember, impatient ones, Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your social community. But like anything that is nourished and cultivated, your community will grow and you will earn your new customers and charm your long-time customers. (Just make sure you don't have anyone on your staff named Brutus... and that you don't linger on the steps...)

Welcome!

2010-03-19T01:04:00.000-04:00

Hello, my name is Jennifer Eolin and I'm a Social Media Biddy. Which means, I'm young, but I use the internet like I'm old. (And by old, I mean "wise beyond my years except when it comes to newfangled yahoo gadgets made for hooligans.")

Ahem.

I often get overwhelmed when I check into the interwebs as I'm instantly bombarded with useless info. It's commonly referred to as "the social media" but I call it "that social diarrhea." (I never said I was classy.) I'm constantly deleting "noise" out of my Twitter and Facebook accounts. Why do people re-tweet EVERY celebrity tweet? Why is someone telling me that body wash has finally outsold bar soap? And WHY is Kevin Smith allowed to be near a computer and WHEN does he get any real work done??? (Kevin, I kid! I kid because I love. "Clerks The Animated Series" forever!!) But because of all this social ruckus, I frequently miss things in my feed that I are actually important or relevant in my life. (i.e. Ovaltine is on sale? SQUEE!)

I know what you're thinking: "So what's your deal, Social Media Biddy, other than complaining?" Touche'.

My job is to act as a social media consultant to all social media users. (Yes, I hired myself. I'm like that. Get use to it.) Together, we can bring this roar of useless tweets and status updates and blogs and whatnot back to a normal conversation. Let's bring the human side of the internet back. Conversations aren't just a series of "retweets." Conversations aren't generated by bots. Conversations aren't just advertising slogans and webpages. Conversations ARE interesting. Conversations engage people in earnest. Conversations make people feel fulfilled and genuinely connected. Let's see if we can get some of that old fashioned conversation back on the information super highway, shall we? Together we can do it!

...Right after my nap... So shhhh, keep yer tweets down!