Random Nerdery

Steve Jobs, RIP

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:40:00 +0000

I own an iPhone and an iPad, but I don't consider myself a member of the Cult of Apple. However, I can't help but be moved by the passing of Steve Jobs, one of the greatest tech visionaries of my time. His 2005 commencement address at Stanford is especially poignant today, so I have it here for viewing.

His beliefs and strength to follow through on those beliefs created the encompassing phenomenon of Apple. It is sad to think that his touch will no longer be felt directly on the products and direction of the company moving forward.

Exploring Ancient Ruins and Temples

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 16:00:00 +0000

For the past few days, I've been spending my evening free time playing through Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light on the 360. The game really grabbed me with its visual style and game mechanics. I really enjoy the platforming elements as well as the nearly twin-stick shooter combat mechanic. The mix of combat, platforming and puzzle-solving keeps things interesting, and the constant carrot of finding or earning some new weapon, relic or artifact has maintained my attention to this downloadable game, even when Read Dead Redemption showed up in the mail recently (thanks, Goozex!).

One element that I really enjoy is the challenge rooms in each level, allowing you to attempt a completely optional puzzle to earn a reward of an item, artifact or weapon. Another aspect I enjoy are the goals set for each level, which also reward you with a power-up or item. The goal may be "Destroy all the vases," or "Cross the river without touching the water." These add spice to the game and have made me change my playstyle to achieve the rewards. Little touches such as this add depth and replayability to a relatively inexpensive downloadable title.

Here's some footage of the game in action, in case you're interested:

Work has been rather busy lately, to the point where I've been struggling with the proper home/work balance. There are times when it would be far too easy to let everything I need to accomplish at work overwhelm my family time and free time, which isn't healthy. There's a wonderful wife and three amazing kids waiting for me every day when I come home, and they are the ones that keep me grounded and centered. To lose sight of that would be unhealthy, and to miss this time with the kids as they grow and develop would (in my opinion) be tragic, as there is no second chance. Finding special time to spend with my wife, that doesn't involve herding young 'uns, cleaning up the living room when it looks like Toys 'R Us has exploded in there, or wrestling with bedtime, is a challenge but one that I need to keep working on. Our connection is a special one, and even though it takes a conscious effort to maintain the 'spark', it's worth it.

My kids become more and more amazing each passing day. Isabelle has an infectious smile and boundless energy. She's the whirling dervish dancing around the house, her imagination running wild. Nick is the quiet one, content to play with his cars, but never ceases to surprise me with his gentleness as he entertains Emily with shared toys. Emily, on the verge of walking, putters around the house, never stopping, but content to entertain herself or join into whatever mischief her bigger siblings are causing. She is a mix of both her brother and sister, rarely stopping like Isabelle but able to happily entertain herself like Nick. The joy they bring to my life is something I can't put into words.

Minecraft

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 00:45:00 +0000

Having succumbed to the vast amount of gushing in the video game corners of the Internet, I'm giving Minecraft a shot. Typically I'm not a very creative person, preferring instead to follow a predetermined path with maybe a few branching options here and there. I love RPGs that allow me to have control over how my party is constructed while guiding me on rails through the story. Especially now, where I get far too little sleep and my free time is precious, I appreciate a game taking me by the hand and leading me through a satisfying experience.

With all of that being said, Minecraft is a completely opposite experience. This game has no story to speak of, other than what you as the player create. You spawn in the middle of a randomly generated world with absolutely nothing on your person, and are expected to figure out what to do. The version of the game I'm playing (Alpha release, single player Survival) has you gathering resources during the day and scrambling for shelter at night, because that's when the bad guys come out to get you.

Instead of trying to describe the game in words, I found a fantastic YouTube video, which walks you through your first day in Minecraft. It's a bit long, but definitely worth it if you're at all interested.

Random Thoughts, Sunday Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 01:30:00 +0000

I figured I'd drop in for the annual update of this blog. It would be disingenuous to try to come up with a bunch of excuses, so let's just skip that part and move on, shall we? :)

- Really enjoyed watching the first game of the Patriots season this afternoon. All 3 facets of the team (offense, defense, special teams) contributed to the 38-24 win over the supposedly ferocious Bengals. It was great to see Brady throwing to Welker again, and I'm excited and nervous at the same time to watch the young defenders grow up on the field. The youth movement on defense is something that's been needed for a few years now, but with youth comes growing pains. All in all, I expect the offense to be fantastic and the defense to show flashes of greatness. Should be an entertaining season if nothing else.

- Also really enjoyed spending a fun and stressful weekend with the family. We transitioned the twins to toddler beds on Saturday night, and the best way to describe what's transpired is an adventure. It's tough to keep them in bed, and also to convince them to sleep. I foresee a bunch of rough nights over the next week as we work with them to understand they need to both stay in the bed and actually sleep. Come to think of it, I probably should stop at the store on the way home after work and pick up some more coffee; we're gonna need it.

The baby (she's not really a baby anymore, but I don't want her to grow up too fast) starting really crawling and pulling herself up on things last weekend, so she spent this weekend practicing all over the living room. Gone are the days when we could sit her on the floor with some toys and go do chores in the kitchen. Now we really have to pay attention or we'll come back to the living room and she'll be gone. :) It's a lot of fun to watch her explore her surrounding and discuss them with us. We're going to have our hands full with that one, I'm sure of it.

- My free time has been spent playing a lot of Torchlight. Though I bought the game shortly after its release last year, the arrival of the baby distracted me from really putting time into it. On a whim I went back to it last week, and have put 10-12 hours into it. As all of the glowing reviews said back at its release, the game is a fun Diablo-clone, made by a group of developers who made the first Diablo. The game has a certain spirit and atmosphere that makes it fun, and the character development, skill trees and (most of all) loot collecting have me coming back time and again. Since this game is resource light, I have it installed on both my home and work computers, which allows me the ability to sneak a level or two in during my lunch breaks. The fact that my character progress is saved in the Steam Cloud lets me play the same character both at work and home, making it even easier to progress in the quest. Definitely a must buy for Diablo fans.

- Work has been incredibly busy the past couple of months. I've stepped into an interim management position, overseeing three other colleagues, as well as stepping up to begin training as a project manager in earnest. In addition, the technical oversight of multiple projects for an incredibly challenging client has been given to me. Long story short, there's no shortage of things for me to do when I get to work in the morning. Honestly though, it's a welcome change as I felt a bit stagnant before seizing these opportunities. The biggest thing to look out for with the new responsibilities is to not bite off more than I can chew and start missing deadlines. That's the worst possible thing I could do at this point. I'm working on learning the strengths and weaknesses of the people I oversee and how best to work with them, so that they are busy and doing what they want to do without overloading them.

Well, that's enough of a brain dump for tonight. Hopefully I'll be back soon to do this again, as I really enjoy it. Sleep and free time willing, I'll see you all soon!

Dragon Quest IX Quick Impressions

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:30:00 +0000

After some serious debating on my part, I decided to spend some money we didn't have and buy Dragon Quest IX yesterday. I've been a fan of the genre since the original Dragon Warrior on the NES, even though I can admit to not having played every iteration, due to time constraints, money constraints, or both. My favorite entry into the series which I've experienced is Dragon Warrior 4, now available as Dragon Quest 4 on the DS. I've been in a bit of a gaming funk as of late, and reading reviews and impressions of the game made me think that this could be just what I needed pick me up again.

So far, I was right. Even with the necessary and welcome changes to the tried and true mechanics (no more random battles, yay!) that could have altered my perception after all of these years, playing this game has felt...right. The use of familiar creature designs, sound effects and music make this the gaming equivalent of Norm walking into Cheers, or what I imagine that woman feels from those cheesy '80s commercials as she slips into the Calgon bubble bath. It's just where I was meant to be, and I hope the feeling doesn't end.

Now all I have to do is find enough time to play consistently, and life will be good. :)

Deathspank Trailers

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 02:00:00 +0000

This is a game that really looks like it could be a lot of fun. I hadn't paid any attention to this until watching a couple of trailers. I'm intrigued by the sense of humor showcased in the trailers, and the game's genre is right up my alley (appears to be like Diablo/Torchlight). It comes out on XBLA on Wednesday, and should provide a nice distraction to the incredible heatwave here on the East Coast.

Popping Back In

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 01:30:00 +0000

It's been quite some time since I left any words of wisdom here, my personal little corner of the Internets. Lots of factors have played into this LONG absence, in no particular order:

- Our basement flooded, and the damage and resulting insurance claim have yet to be resolved. I didn't have access to my home PC for 4-5 weeks.
- Work became incredibly busy for an extended period, but has since settled back into a more manageable routine.
- We went through the agony of sleep-training our 7-month old daughter, which (while nearly settled into some semblance of normalcy) really threw the house and everyone in it for a loop. Thank goodness that's nearly done...
- I found myself more and more tired at night when I would sit down to write, and every time I thought about coming here to post, I'd choose sleep.

...And so on. The list of pathetic excuses could be far longer, but I don't want to whine for the entire post (just most of it). On the upside, there have been a lot of good things that have happened in the time since I last wrote, which are too numerous to mention here. I'm not going to go crazy and promise to anyone, myself included, that this will become a regular occurrence, but this is the first stab at picking up this whole writing thing again. There were many times I missed being able to share my thoughts and feelings with all 3 of you who might realize this exists, hopefully you'll come back to hear more.

Consider this post an apology to anyone who cares that I was gone, and the attempt to start the regular posting again. Because this post was essentially an impulse followed and not ignored, it's going to be short for this evening. Some of the rest of my conscious time tonight will be spent putting together a list of post topics to pick from when inspiration escapes me. So to those of you out there reading this, thanks for coming back and I look forward to seeing you here again soon.

My Favorite Opening Video Game Sequence

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 03:30:00 +0000

After experiencing the opening sequence for Mass Effect 2, I started thinking about other games that grabbed my attention from the get-go. This one came to mind immediately, and I still believe it's the finest example of hooking your 'audience' and compelling them to play on.

The audio that plays as you descend in the bathysphere is haunting, and the reveal of the underwater city at the crescendo of the monologue floored me the first time I saw it. The setting, the atmosphere, the lighting, everything combines to make a scene that many movie directors would envy. It's moments like this that make me happy to play video games.

Five Random Observations

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:43:00 +0000

Here's a patchwork collection of thoughts and observations I've had over the past few days:

1. It's far more difficult to be romantic and thoughtful when nearly every waking moment of your day is mapped out for you by the simple act of caring for children. My wife and I did our best to celebrate Valentine's Day today, even though neither of us had the time or opportunity over the past couple of weeks to get out and do anything for the other, to the point that we didn't even exchange cards. It sounds horrible, but it's really not. We've talked about it, and we're both alright with the situation. It's safe to say that the level of chaos that has enveloped our lives may preclude some simple rituals that were easier to accomplish in years past, and it seems observing this day properly is just one in a long list of casualties. Never fear though; I love my wife, she loves me, and we'll still be here for many years to come.

2. The passage of time can feel warped in many different ways, based on your personal perception. For example, there are days that feel as if they are never going to end, and just an hour can feel like an eternity. In the midst of a stretch of days like this, though, it's easy to look at the calendar and go, "Wow, 3 months have passed already?! Where did the time go?" It's a phenomenon that is hard to truly appreciate until you've experienced it.

3. While researching options to make our living room electronics more compact and kid-friendly, I made the startling discovery that the manufacturer of our 42" plasma display (Fujitsu) extricated itself from the HDTV market in late 2007. For some reason, I was incredibly chagrined to find this information, and I feel like I have a sad little orphan in our living room. It makes me want to give it a hug and say, "It's alright. You have a safe and happy home with us." It also means that I had absolutely no luck in finding manufacturer- standard side mount speakers for the unit. Bah.

4. My children can go from incredibly sweet, adorable and caring angels to evil, selfish and destructive little monsters in the span of a single breath. Which, by all accounts, makes them your typical two-year-olds. Go figure.

5. My plan to execute the gaming project I discussed a couple of weeks ago is alive and well, even if I haven't been writing about it. Since my last post on the subject, I've fired up at least one game that qualifies for the project, and possibly a second. When my schedule and sleep level is sufficient to produce text worth reading on the subject, they will appear here. Until then, know that I'm stealing some time here and there to play games, but it's not regular or long.

Self Doubt

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:30:00 +0000

Ever since the events of last Friday, which to be completely honest most likely wouldn't amount to a hill of beans to anyone else but me, I've been suffering from a terrible case of self doubt. When I'm working, every time a call comes in, or the 'new e-mail' reminder pops up on my desktop, or someone stops by my cube, inevitably the first thought that races through my head is, "Oh no, what have I done wrong now?" As you can imagine, this is not the optimal way to be a happy and productive member of society. I'm constantly queasy, worrying what will happen next, and nervous about my perception among my peers. Confidence is the key to almost all aspects of life, and right now I'm going through a severe lack of confidence in my work.

It wasn't that long ago that I felt as if I produced a quality product, that my efforts and performance met a standard of quality acceptable for the company where I work. Unfortunately now, because of this doubt that eats away at me, I'm never sure if what I'm doing is good enough. It's pretty obvious, even to me as I try desperately not to wallow in self-pity, that something needs to be done to right the course of my career and confidence. But what? That's the million dollar question, and one that I wrestle with constantly these days, because I don't want to feel this way.

One of the biggest issues I deal with regarding my lack of confidence is insuring that it doesn't bleed over into the rest of my life. I have a wife and three amazing children who deserve a husband and father who is happy, upbeat and completely devoted to making sure their needs are met and that I'm supporting them in every possible way. That's a tall order when I feel essentially useless at work. Fortunately, I've had no problem coming home and helping out with the chores, chasing the twins around, and rocking my infant daughter to sleep every night. They are my solace, the oasis where I can be myself each evening. The unconditional love I feel and reciprocate every time I walk through the door is the motivation that allows me to get up each morning and face the prospect of 8+ hours of work.

Sorry for the 'pity party for one' and the general down nature of the blog these past few days, not to mention my absence. If you're still reading, thank you for your perseverance and know that the overall mood will lighten soon. Just being able to spend some time putting how I feel into words on the screen has been a cathartic experience, one that I hope will help me stay on the path to overcoming the start of mind that currently occupies my day. Soon I'll be back to the lighthearted discussion about video games and other silly topics that come to mind, but for now this blog can act as an amateur shrink. Until next time, thanks again and be safe...

Here's to the Saints

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 03:45:00 +0000

Not much to pass on tonight, other than my hat's off to the Saints on winning their first Super Bowl, and beating the hated Colts in the process. I won't lie to you and say that the little kid in me wasn't going crazy when Tracy Porter took the 4th quarter interception to the house. From what little coverage I watched and heard over the past couple of weeks, it felt as if the Saints weren't being given a serious chance, so to have the upstarts come in and upset the favorites, after being down 10-0, makes it all the sweeter. Party on, Bourbon Street, you've earned it tonight.

Today felt like a good day all around. I spent a few hours in my basement, working on a project that's due at the end of this week. After that, I spent the afternoon with the twins, while Mommy and baby took a nap. Then, after the twins were settled in bed, the wife and I watched a movie. I know, blasphemy, watching a movie while the Super Bowl was on! All I can say is that my wife and I needed the time together, and the best way to spend it was watching a silly movie curled up on the couch together. Besides, I saw the best part of the game (last 12 minutes of the 4th quarter).

The movie, by the way? Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. I highly recommend it, as the art style and animation are great and the story is silly enough to enjoy at any age.

Family Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Last night I found it difficult to sleep as my mind started to process the events of the day. Once I was finally able to doze at around 12:30am, I was awakened at 4:30am by my son having a nightmare. After settling him back down, my mind started racing again, and I lay awake until 7am when I took the baby from my wife to let her get some rest. Holding my daughter on the couch downstairs before everyone was awake, I did my best to determine what I was going to do about the situation. There's more to come with this, and it all rests on my shoulders. In my mind, this is a 'put up or shut up' moment, and I intend to 'put up.'

The rest of the day was a lot of fun. Vowing to put everything else out of my mind, I concentrated on spending time with the family, to reaffirm why I go to work every day in the first place. There's nothing quite as amazing as the unconditional love of a young child, and anyone who's experienced it should agree with me. It doesn't matter what's going on outside the walls of this house, when I come home I'm Daddy. From the endless races in a circle around the first floor, to sharing breakfast together at the table, to getting a special hug just for being me, I feel like the greatest man on earth with my kids. They are the greatest things that could have ever happened to me and I can't thank them enough for their love and support.

On a much lighter note, I stole some time to finish up the main game component of Swords & Poker. Some of the spells available to you later in the game are completely crazy, such as the Chaos spell, which turns the 4 corner cards on the grid into wildcards. Using this spell I was able to generate a Royal Flush hand, and take off a full quarter of my opponent's health in one move. The downside is it opens up the same opportunity to your opponent. Regardless, as I mentioned before, this is a game that is well worth the cost if you own an iPhone.

One of THOSE Days

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 03:45:00 +0000

Overall, today was not a bad day. The vast majority of what transpired was good to great. The kids were happy to see me when I came home, and I spent a fair amount of time chasing them around the house. The littlest daughter had some cozy time in my arms, as we chatted and wandered the first floor, trying to get her tired little eyes to close. For the most part, work was bearable and, considering this was my group's monthly meeting day, I even managed to be productive for most of the afternoon.

I'm not going to rehash it here, but I had a conversation with a person in another office that was incredibly disappointing. Even now, just thinking about it sends a fresh wave of depressing feelings over me. At some point I may talk about it in more depth, but as there's still a lot of personal sorting out of the actual meaning and ramifications of the conversation that needs to occur, I'll leave it at this brief mention.

One other upside from the day is that my wife and I watched Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog together tonight. I'll be the first to sheepishly admit that this was the first time I've seen it completely. For some reason, I watched the first act and part of the second, had to stop and just never went back. It was a thoroughly enjoyable and entertaining experience, and it's not hard to see why the Internet went crazy over it when it first hit the scene back in 2008. Neil Patrick Harris is incredible and truly steals the show, Felicia Day is perfect for her role, and Nathan Fillion plays the 'I'm a hero and a douchebag' to a T. The music and lyrics are fantastic, and even my wife (not immersed in the Internet culture) laughed all the way through. If you, like me, somehow missed this when it first made the rounds, you owe it to yourself to catch up now. You won't be disappointed.

As I'm working on this post, I have Beyond Good and Evil downloading and installing in the background. I've decided this will be the second game in the Game Project. This is a game I've heard nothing but great things about, but for some reason just haven't sat down to give it a try. I'll post my initial impressions after giving it a shot later tonight or over the weekend.

I should also mention that I finally worked my way through Mass Effect Galaxy on the iPhone. While the story was mildly interesting, the control and combat were a bit difficult to really get a feel for, and I never truly felt in control. The narrative was incredibly linear, but it did serve to introduce some characters and backstory for Mass Effect 2. All in all, I'm not disappointed that I spent the money for it ($1.99), and as an added bonus, I will log in with my EA.com account to get whatever special DLC is available for finishing the game.

That's all for tonight. The events of the day have left me a bit uninspired, so I'm off to find some good feelings and get my mind off everything. Take care and have a great Friday!

Game Project #1 - Red Faction: Guerrilla

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:15:00 +0000

This post didn't start out as what it ended up being, the first entry of 'The Project,' but I'm glad it did. Hopefully it spurs me on to other games, and topics...

Revisited Red Faction this evening for a bit, and discovered that I can get it to play at a reasonable framerate by dialing down most of the settings and playing in windowed mode. Most of the time, I wouldn't be happy about playing in such a 'neutered' state, but with this game high quality graphics take a backseat to the destruction. Fortunately the havoc you can wreak comes through loud and clear, regardless of what video card resides in your computer.

I've played probably 45 minutes to an hour of the game, long enough to complete one mission, one guerrilla action, as well as demolish 5-6 EDF controlled targets not associated with any mission. During this time, I messed around with the remote charges and the sledge hammer as my primary weapons, and briefly toyed with the rifle and the pistol. It's pretty clear that the shooting mechanic plays second fiddle to the destructible environments, as I far prefer to go into a fire fight swinging my hammer wildly. Killing an EDF soldier with the sledge hammer feels incredibly satisfying, as if there's actual weight to the weapon. Not only that, but there's the added bonus of damaging nearby buildings and structures with a missed hammer swing, which should help contribute to the overall goal of demolishing the target.

Speaking of demolishing, I have never played a game where the destruction felt so good. During the tutorial mission, I spent probably 5 minutes or more destroying the starter building from the inside out. Even though the walls, ceilings and other structural elements break away in 'gamey' chunks, it's the sum of the parts that really shines here. I watched a building teeter back and forth like a wobbly top before folding under the weight of the second floor (I had nearly wiped out the first floor). As it crashed to the ground with a groan and flurry of dust and debris, I couldn't help but smile and think, "I did that." At that moment, I think I discovered what caused so many people to enjoy it when it first was released last May. Giving the player total control of the mayhem is a genius move on the developer's part. There's just enough story to provide a framework to the demolition, but it's not complex or in your face to have to think too hard about it. Just go and trash stuff, and you're most likely going to succeed at this game.

Long story short, as what can be considered the inaugural entry in my Game Project, I would recommend this game to anyone, whether it be on the PC or console. It also seems that I could jump in and out of this game while playing other games, and not feel lost or need to 'catch up' on the plot, which could add to its longevity in my gaming rotation.

Now, at some point I'm going to have to define the parameters of this Game Project in more depth than my original speculative post, and that should happen over the weekend. In the meantime, I'm going to dig through the archive and choose the next target to install and experience. Hopefully it will be as fun as this one.

Unconnected Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 04:00:00 +0000

Post number 100. I'll leave it at that...

Yet again, the hectic schedule of my family thwarts my attempt to start the gaming project. Fighting fatigue, being a bit discouraged from work and tasked with making dinner, cleaning up from dinner, picking up the house, bathing and putting the kids to bed, and then keeping baby Emily entertained and quiet while Mommy runs errands, I don't feel motivated to cull the list of games that will make up my personal challenge. However, some progress was made, as I stayed up rather late (at least for me) last night installing Red Faction: Guerrilla. The entire process took the better part of an hour, far longer than I anticipated. At least it's there and waiting for me to carve out an hour's free window to fire it up and play.

Update: After posting this entry, I decided to make myself a bit more tired than I already will be and started up Red Faction. It looks like it would be a lot of fun, unfortunately, it seems to grind my PC into dust with its complex physics. Going through the training mission and destroying the two small buildings required, it looked as if I were watching a slow moving slide show. Hopefully someday I'll have a machine that can run this, or I'll tweak the settings down to the minimum. That may help; regardless, I keep updating progress here.

On another note, I had an interesting reaction to a simple comment on Facebook. Sometime before going to bed, my Twitter feed was completely inundated with tweets from people either (a) on the West Coast complaining that friends on the East Coast were spoiling details about Lost, (b) announcing their intentions to leave or ignore the Internet, so as not to have Lost spoiled for them, or (c) raving that Lost was, in fact, starting. Later in the evening, after reading the 40th tweet along one of these veins, I posted that I felt like the only person in America that wasn't caught up in the Lost phenomenon. To my surprise, this comment spurred 16 comments from people who feel the same as I do. Considering how disconnected I currently feel from pop culture since the kids arrived, it was nice to see there are others in the same situation, and are proud of it.

Work today was a story of ups and downs. I spent the majority of the day buried in nerdy technical details, trying to chase down and wrap up the loose ends for a 90% design review due in a week or so. During that entire time, while it was not particularly interesting and sometimes frustrating, I packed up at the end of the day feeling really good about the progress I made and the focus I maintained, avoiding the temptation of the Internet almost all day. On my way out the door, I ran into a manager who made an offhand comment that a project manager I enjoy working with apparently has concerns or complaints about my work. Now the impression I take home from a 'good' day at work is negative, and I spent the rest of the evening with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Hopefully tomorrow will bring a resolution to this issue, so I don't have to agonize over it anymore.

Tuesday Tidbits

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 03:00:00 +0000

The streak continues! January ended, but here I am, still posting. Must be a good sign (of what, I don't know). This post is the 99th all time on Random Nerdery, which makes tomorrow's the 100th. While a small milestone for some, it's quite impressive for me. Unfortunately, that means I probably should do something interesting for post number 100. Oh, the pressure...

While I write this post, I'm updating the OS and security on my old laptop, which is a tiresome task. The 'kitchen' laptop, a cute name for the Cafe World machine my wife has upstairs, is having big issues with the wireless network connection, and I've tried a bunch of different things to fix it. As an alternative, she's going to give the older HP 'gaming laptop' a try, which is great since it's been sitting in its case for over a year now. It's not a bad machine, just old. Hopefully it has enough horsepower to run IE8, Facebook and all of the social games she's into, and if can handle that, it will be perfect.

Tonight hasn't provided me the opportunity to begin my gaming project, which is on hold until I have a free evening to compile the list of games (hopefully tomorrow, but my schedule is always subject to change). In the meantime, I have a confession to make. It's taking every fiber of my responsible being, which should never be confused with my impulsive 'devil may care' being, not to buy and play Mass Effect 2. Today while traveling back and forth between a job site and the office, I listened to two separate podcasts that did nothing but gush over the game and its story. Always the sucker for whatever is new and shiny, there's so much temptation to throw money to the wind and get it from Steam. For now, however, I'm going to be a good boy and play with the toys that I have. All bets are off when our tax return comes in, though.

There's another upside to our getting a tax return. My wife has been getting sick of fending the twins away from the baby gates we have set up around our TV and TV stand upstairs. The space in between the gates and the TV stand serves basically as a junk and food repository, which does nothing for the decor in the living room. Lately, the twins have also discovered that they can drag their little plastic chairs over to the gates, stand on them and reach over the gates for better access at what's behind. All of this has driven her to the decision that we're going to buy a new smaller LCD TV, mount it on the wall, and also mount a shelf to hold the cable box. We're considering a TV/DVD combo set, to remove the need for a DVD player upstairs. If this plan does come to pass, the current 42" TV, DVD player, receiver, surround sound speakers and XBox 360 return to the basement and their rightful place in my 'man cave.' You have no idea how excited I am about this possibly happening. I'll keep you posted on this possibility as it materializes or disappears.

Now it's off to deliver the laptop up to the lady of the house and hope it solves the wireless access issue and is powerful enough to fit her needs. All married man know this to be true: if the wife is happy, you're happy. If she's not happy, woe be to you. I know what outcome I'm wishing for. :)

Potential Gaming Project

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:15:00 +0000

Fresh off my victory in 'winning' NaBloPoMo in January, I talk about a possible project within my gaming hobby.

In between dealing with mind-numbing work issues today (just a parenthetical aside...I listened to, and agonized every moment of, a conference call today that was the epitome of why we as a species will never reach our true potential...back to the post), and slogging through a greater than normal amount of project related problems, the tiniest seed of an idea popped into my head. As the day wore on, I chewed on it some more, during free seconds stolen from searching for technical data and filling out client forms, and it seemed more and more interesting and feasible. Driving home this evening, looking forward to seeing my family, I devoted more thought to it and it felt more and more feasible. Tonight I've decided to blog about it, if nothing more than to create a record of the idea, in case this attempt doesn't get off the ground there's a record of the thought for future me to look back on and say, "Hey, that was a great idea! Let's do it now!" At least, that's what I hope I would say...

Based on the relative flurry of game purchases over the weekend, and the theory that I need to curb my spending on just about everything, I came up with the following idea: I'll look through the catalog of games on my hard drive, especially those I bought and for some reason or other never installed and/or played, and develop a list, which will be posted here. I'll take one of those games every couple of days, install it on my system, play it for at least an hour, and post my impressions here.

The entire scheme could end up being great little project, and would kill several birds with one stone. First, this process would provide me with digital entertainment, as I would be raiding my own library for titles to play. Second, the experience of playing these games should generate topics to discuss here on the blog (lucky you!), and extend my posting streak. Third, and most important to my wife, it would be a free way to accomplish the first two goals, always a huge bonus in our family. The downside of the whole thing, and this is a big downside, is that it involves me demonstrating some personal discipline in not buying any more games during the project, while also actually setting a schedule and sticking with it long term. Considering how scatter-brained and easily distracted I am, it doesn't bode well.

To give you an idea of the scale of this endeavor, as of this writing, I have 38 games on my Steam list, of which no less than 20 I have no experience with, whether it be now or in the past. This doesn't include at least seven other games on my hard drive not associated with Steam that haven't cast their glow through my monitor as of yet. To add to this, there are four games I've received from Goozex lined up neatly beside me, begging to be played. Even more daunting, this doesn't count the number of console and handheld games stacked on my shelf, a fair number of which, you guessed it, I haven't played yet.

Laying the groundwork for this project, it appears to fall into several steps.

Develop the list of games I haven't yet played, separated into PC games, games by console, and games by handheld system.
Develop a schedule sorts in which to approach the task, whether it be simply the order that I'll play the games, maybe attached dates to games, or some other method.
Attack the list of games, in order, playing each for at least an hour, and post my impressions here on the blog.

I can't help but feel optimistic about this project, even though my track record indicates yet another crash and burn. Have I mentioned yet that I don't possess a whole lot of follow through? Anyway, that's enough on this topic for now. Look for a list of games here in the next few days, as well as an approach to tackle them.

One last note: I was more tickled than you can imagine when I saw that Logan Decker, the current EIC of PC Gamer had posted a comment on this post, where I discussed his magazine. To reach out and spend the time to post on this blog that very few people read is pretty cool, and I appreciate it a lot. So thanks to Logan and his team for making my reading time all that much better, and continued success with the magazine!

It's Fun Getting Stuff Cheap

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 02:45:00 +0000

This is it! The last day of January, and I've made it, with a post every day. It's a great feeling to know that I could set a goal and achieve it, because successes like that are hard to come by these days, given family and work commitments. If you're reading this, thank you for doing so, I certainly appreciate it.

There's nothing more fun than getting something for less than its perceived value. Now that I'm on a fairly strict budget, one that I'm struggling to stick with, my ability to go out and buy the latest electronics and video games has decreased dramatically. I'll be honest, if there weren't a tangible benefit to the household, in the reduction of the overall monthly cell phone bill, I would not have the iPhone right now. As was discussed when I originally took the plunge, there was a long wait in between when I originally wanted the iPhone and when I was finally able to justify the acquisition.

The same goes with video games. When it was only my wife and I here in the house, I didn't put much thought into going out and picking up the new releases as they came out, as well as investing in the newest consoles. Now, since my first priority is and should be my children, I've done my best to restrict my gaming purchases to those that will provide me with good value for my money. I bought Fallout 3 the day it was released, spent $50 for it, and proceeded to milk that game for all it was worth. Over 85 hours of play for that $50 is a far more efficient use of my hard-earned money than any movie I could see.

1 movie (at the theaters): 2 hours, ~$12 = $6/hour of entertainment

1 video game: 85 hours, $50 = ~$0.60/hour of entertainment

With results like that, it's hard to argue that I got my money's worth.

Which brings me to my latest 'compulsive' buys. During this weekend, Steam had the Freedom Force: Freedom Pack on sale for $2. Since I have heard great things about these games, I figured that $2 is an extremely small price to pay, so I bought them. Also on Steam, the X-Com: Complete Pack (five X-Com games) were also on sale for $2. Five games for $2? That was also a no-brainer and went into the virtual shopping cart as well. So, for a grand total of $4 I bought seven games. Granted, these are games that are some years old, but most are still well reviewed and discussed, and these are also games and concepts that don't rely on cutting edge graphics to communicate their quality. I feel pretty comfortable with this expenditure.

Just before coming to this site to write this post, I happened to visit Cheap Ass Gamer, the first time in quite a while, actually. It was an innocent visit, just to see what 'all the cool kids' were spending their money on. There on the front page was an announcement that Direct2Drive had a sale on Red Faction: Guerrilla for only $5. This is a game that I downloaded and tried the demo on the 360, and really enjoyed. It's on my list to get through Goozex, but it currently trades at (in virtual currency) around $30, so to see the game (granted, it's the PC version) this cheap is pretty exciting. As I'm writing this, the game is downloading to my hard drive.

Why am I telling you all of this? Mostly because I'm so excited to find so much gaming goodness for such little monetary outlay, but also to broach the subject of digital distribution. This is a topic for its own post, as there are so many facets to discuss, but one thing is certain: it can be of great benefit to both the distributor, the developer and the consumer when utilized properly. I can point to an earlier post where I bought games that I wouldn't have considered otherwise, simply because they were on sale. For the foreseeable future, these sales will be the primary source of the games that I play, because they provide the best value for the money that I probably shouldn't be spending on my entertainment.

Gaming Magazines: Pleasant Surprise

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 02:45:00 +0000

Today's mail brought two pleasant surprises, in the form of the latest Gamepro and PC Gamer magazines. My thoughts on these are found within the post. Along with that, I'm getting excited that January is almost over and I will have achieved my goal of posting every day. Woohoo!

Going out to get the mail this afternoon, I was fairly certain that I would find two things contained among the rest of the junk mail and bills: the copy of Hellgate: London I requested from Goozex and a package of assorted iPhone accessories that I'd ordered from a cheap online outlet. My assumption was correct, as both items were safely nestled in the mailbox. However, two other pieces of mail caught my eye as I scanned through the pile on the way back to the house. My first issue of Gamepro had finally arrived, as well as the latest issue of PC Gamer. Still being a sucker for media I can hold in my hand and flip through, it's always a treat to get magazines in the mail. Getting a free moment after the little monsters were all safely tucked into bed, I perused both and was very pleasantly surprised.

Having no prior experience with Gamepro, I signed up for a subscription after reading and hearing about the new direction the magazine and website was taking under their new Executive VP of Content, John Davison. I first read and heard Davison while he was at Ziff Davis Media, working with the former incarnation of EGM (Electronic Gaming Monthly), Games for Windows/Computer Gaming World, and 1UP.com. Honestly, I loved his British accent, but more so it was refreshing to hear his opinions on games and the industry. He had insights and ideas that clearly showed he understood the industry, its highs and lows, and if given the right opportunity would be able to use this knowledge and experience to do great things. It seems that opportunity has come at Gamepro. The magazine has a crisp feel, and a focus not just on the games, but on the people behind the games. This is a facet that is often under-represented in the gaming press, and the treatment by the staff indicates high quality content will not be in short supply. I can't rave enough about this, and look forward to watching John and his talented team recreate the magazine's image over the next year..

PC Gamer has been a staple of my reading diet for some time now, and have seen it change editors-in-chief three times since I started subscribing (from Greg Vederman to Kristen Salvatore to Gary Steinman), with the reins now in Logan Decker's hands. This issue marks the second of his official run, and it feels as if he's moving in the right direction. There's something about the new layout, content and page design that appeals to me, as if it's cleaner in some way. The writing continues to be top-notch, and I look forward to it every month. Between this and Gamepro, my evening reading just got better.

In other news, today felt like a success. Between my wife and I, we completed our taxes, and were pleasantly surprised to determine that we are, in fact, going to be receiving more in our return than last year. This is due in no small part to my wife figuring out that we could deduct the sales tax paid when we purchased the minivan. Overall, this will allow us to dig out of some of the self-imposed debt of the past year, and also to perform some much needed home improvements. Our twins are getting older, and some changes are required to keep them from killing themselves on the electronics in the living room.

That's all for tonight. Tomorrow is Sunday, and hopefully I'll have some earth-shattering topic to discuss. I wouldn't hold your breath, though.

Option Paralysis and My Gaming Habits

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 17:30:00 +0000

Three more days and NaBloPoMo will be complete! I've successfully managed to post once per day throughout January, if you allow me the fact that I had to post one update at 4am due to traveling. There were no guarantees that I would make it this far, and it's safe to say that I'm proud of myself for sticking with it. Here's to the hope that I've formed a habit that will continue.

Yesterday I mentioned that I would discuss how 'option paralysis' affects my game playing habits. While thinking about the issue and its affect on me, I came to a conclusion that this is something that plagues me throughout my life, and not just part of my gaming hobby.

The best way I can describe it is to use an example from work. One of the projects I'm working on involves receiving lots of feedback on the work product from a lot of different sources. There are currently three different documents, from three different companies, that have provided feedback and comments on my work. In attempting to go through and resolve all of these issues, it feels as if my head is going to explode. There are so many small things that need attention, but I can't seem to zero in on each one individually and address them in that manner. My mind continually attempts to absorb them in one big mass and it's not equipped to handle that volume of work. So I get bogged down, discouraged and inevitably distracted by something else. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking on how long I have to address the comments and move on. It's not like I want to fail, but I can't get my brain to lock on to small, manageable chunks of work, it's always looking at the task in a macro scale, which is neither productive nor conducive to creating the feeling of accomplishment, which I can harness to get more work completed, and so on.

There's a work example, but the title of this post indicates I would be equating this issue to my gaming. Well, in the microcosm of my gaming habit, it's very similar. I really enjoy playing games, and I'd like to think I have the time to at least sample some of the most current games, to keep me 'up' on the current trends in the industry, as well as keeping my perspective relevant to all of the video gaming media I consume. Since I am forced to game on a budget, most of the games I pick up are either on sale or demos of the latest games. The problem with me trying to stay current is that there are a lot of games coming out in any particular month, and I don't always have time to play every day. If I happen to 'get behind' in my game playing (the only measure of getting behind is in my own head, so this whole thing is a self-defeating prophecy), it's a struggle for me to stop and play just one game, when I know there's a list of games that I also want to sample waiting in the wings. The feeling of devoting time to one game, and deriving pleasure and enjoyment from the experience, also feels like neglecting all of the other options available to me. More often than not, I look at all of the games I want to play, get discouraged and surf the Internet for an hour instead of playing any of the games.

In both cases, my 'option paralysis' is clearly detrimental to the goals that I want to achieve. Is there something I can do to alleviate or eliminate this issue? Is there some medication I can take, some mind exercises to work on? At this point, I'm willing to try just about anything, if it would improve my productivity and enjoyment of the free time I allow myself. In the long run, it would probably improve my general mood and outlook on my career and personal life. Clearly this is an issue that won't solve itself overnight and I need to do some research and determine a course of action. If anyone reading this has any advice or places to look, I'm all ears.

Considering the overall negative vibe around this post, I don't want anyone to mistake the fact that I'm not happy, because I am. This is just taking one frustrating and annoying trait that I seem to exhibit and putting it under a microscope. I've lived with the issue this long, clearly it's not something that I can't cope with, but I just think there's a better way to go about things, and I want to find it.

This introspective post is now over. You can go back to enjoying your day. :)

Lost for Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 03:15:00 +0000

Once again, today's blog update is a whole lotta nuthin'...but I'm not sure anyone is even reading. If you are, I applaud you, as you're truly a warrior, struggling through my drivel.

Not much is really happening in my world these days. Work has settled back into the usual routine after the holidays, while I'm struggling with a project that just won't seem to go away. Today was particularly troublesome, because for some reason I was experiencing difficulty getting my head around exactly all of the little outstanding details that need to be nailed down before Feburary 12th. I think I have my head around what needs to occur, and tomorrow should go more smoothly. Also, the number of projects that I am assigned to work on has certainly increased, which bodes for a productive spring.

After a couple of weeks away, I dug back into Trine for about an hour or so tonight. There's a lot to enjoy about the game, and the more I play it, the better it gets. The physics engine is quite good, and the ability to bounce back and forth between the three distinct characters creates so many options for solving the myriad of environmental puzzles thrown at you that there's probably no way to play it the same as anyone else. For the level I completed tonight, I started to utilize the Magician and his ability to create planks and crates, and teaming that with the Thief's ability to jump and grapple. The Knight is always handy for cleaning out the skeletons.

Lately, I've also been trying to take more pictures and video with the iPhone and publish them to my Twitter feed with Twitpic and Twitvid, respectively. Understanding that I'm an engineer, which severely cripples my creative ability from the start, it should be obvious that these forays into visual media are quite stiff, crude and rudimentary. It still feels like such a novelty to be able to take a picture, and within a couple of minutes have it posted to Twitter and Facebook. Given the right opportunities and vision, these could be great tools to build or expand your online presence. While I know the stuff I'm producing now isn't great, I'd like to think that with some time and practice I'll learn a few more things and find some interesting subjects for the pictures and video. Once again I'm amazed at our ability today to broadcast ourselves to the world, and in the right hands amazing results can be had.

Tomorrow I think I'll discuss something that's bothered me for some time, option paralysis. It affects me most in my game playing habits, but it manifests itself in such a way that really is aggravating. Most likely it won't be incredibly interesting, but it may be cathartic for me to explore and discuss it in the open. Until then, take care and have a great night!

Politics

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 04:00:00 +0000

The topic of the day is politics, and why they always leave me cold.

Having spent the past hour or so watching the State of the Union speech from the president, it only reinforced to me why I don't bother becoming more informed or active in the first place. It's disappointing to me to watch grown men and women act like petulant children or overeager ass-kissers (whichever your party affiliation may be) in the face of difficult times for those people who elected them to the cushy jobs they now have.

The previous statement could have been tempered, to be sure, but it's just the way I feel right now. On a night where the President spoke to the nation, our elected officials on both sides of the chamber acted like fools. It's no wonder that the American public has so little faith in the governmental process. I know that, as an American, I am lucky to live in a country that has an elected government and not a military dictator, but after watching some of the shameful displays of disrespect and outright cheerleading this evening, I'm still pretty discouraged.

I tend to lean toward Republican fiscal views and Democratic social views, so I can say without affiliation to either party (I'm officially undeclared in my state of residence) that Nancy Pelosi should give up the snarky smirking and ridiculous standing ovations for every word the President says, and at the same time the old white men that make up the Republican party should stop behaving in a manner that I wouldn't put up with from my two-year-olds.

Several of the points made in the State of the Union speech were easy to agree with, but difficult to fathom how they would be carried out. While I agree that health care needs reform, I don't know if this is the way it should be reformed. In my complete and utter naivete, I'd love to believe that the people in Washington could set aside party politics long enough to get us out of this mess, but that's as likely as me becoming the next president (read: won't happen). All in all, I'm left with a sour taste in my mouth and a bigger case of political apathy.

There, I'm down off my soapbox now. Enjoy the rest of your evening...

Google Voice (Warning: Nerdy!)

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 02:45:00 +0000

The amazing, and somewhat confusing, instance of technological convergence that is Google voice is the topic for today's post, the 26th for NaBloPoMo.

Some time ago, I wrangled an invite for the new Google service called Google Voice. It's an intriguing idea: One phone number that can be configured to ring multiple lines at the same time, or based on who's calling, or send directly to voicemail, or any of what feels like endless features. There's also voicemail transcription, where a speech-to-text analysis of a voicemail left in your mailbox would be sent to you via e-mail. I'm probably doing a terrible job of trying to explain all the features, so I'll just let the official description handle it from here.

For me, there are a lot of ideas on how to use this service floating around in my head. If I wanted to, I could now start giving out my Voice number to everyone, because it would be the same regardless if I change cell phone numbers, home phone numbers, I change jobs, etc. There is a convenience and elegance to that. My big fear would be that Google pulls the plug on the project, causing me to have to yet again alert people of a change in number.

Another downside right now is when making an outgoing call, your actual number (whether it be cell phone, work phone, etc.) is the one that comes up on caller ID, unless you go through the cumbersome process of calling a Google Voice number, and then calling the number you really want to call. So, now you have people calling you on one number and receiving calls from you from another number, unless you are diligent and always go through the extra step of calling Google first. I'm especially sensitive to this issue as a professional, because I don't want clients or coworkers being confused with what I described above. As a general rule, simpler is better.

With that being said, there are some interesting possibilities as part of the service. Just last week, there were some issues with me not being reachable via cell phone at my parents' house because AT&T has no service in their area. However, they do have high-speed Internet service there, and a WiFi network. Here's a possible workaround of being out of touch in that scenario, at least in theory:

1. Through Skype, get a number and a subscription, at a monthly cost.
2. Link my Google Voice number with the Skype number.
3. On my iPhone, download the Skype app.
4. Provide the Google Voice number I currently have to friends, family, clients and coworkers.

If I understand everything correctly, someone would try to call my Google Voice number. While I was out of cell phone coverage, I would configure Voice to go to voicemail automatically. I would receive an e-mail almost immediately that a message was left in my inbox. I could then use Skype on the iPhone to call the person back. Unfortunately, there is no way to have the Skype app alert me that a call is coming in, even if I did have Voice call it. This is due to the fact that Apple does not allow VoIP when not on WiFi, so 'push' notification is disabled in the service right now. Admittedly, it's not particularly elegant, but it would be better than nothing.

Another option I've considered is having my office phone forwarded to my Voice number if I'm busy or don't pick up after a certain number of rings. The person calling my office would then be able to leave a message in my Voice mailbox, which would generate an e-mail to my account that (a) a message was left and (b) a transcription of that message. In theory once again, I would be able to react to and return messages directed to my office phone at any time, since my e-mail is updated on my phone as long as I'm in 3G or Edge coverage, not just WiFi. Living in the greater Boston area, that coverage is not a big issue.

To be honest, I'm not sure why this whole idea fascinates me so much, but it does. The thought of having one number associated to me for the foreseeable future, and being able to give that number out to everyone is quite intriguing. Being able to selectively screen calls based on the number before they even ring a phone is also interesting. There's also the ability to choose what phone or service that a call into Voice is forwarded to, based on the time of day. If you so wanted, you could configure it such that all business calls are sent to voicemail immediately after 6pm, while all family calls are forwarded to your home phone at that time, since you're most likely to be there.

At the present time, I haven't implemented any of the ideas discussed here, because most of the thoughts I have revolve around business calls, and if something doesn't work and calls get dropped or missed, there are consequences to that. I have plans to temporarily forward my desk phone at work to Voice, and test out how well the voicemail service works. That would be a great way to stay in touch with clients and coworkers when away from the office.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the time being. If anyone reading this has experience with Voice and is willing to share their thoughts, I'd love to hear them. Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Just a Monday, But Better Than Most

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 02:45:00 +0000

The month of January marches on, and as there has been for the preceding 24 days, the 25th day finds me posting about...nothing, as usual.

For a Monday, today wasn't too bad. Arriving at work, I managed to take care of all the niggling little tasks that had been haunting me over the weekend. This involved making 6-8 phone calls, sending multiple e-mails, checking in with some coworkers, and generally getting back into the flow of the office, after working at a remote office for the preceding week. Just the simple act of knocking so many individual entries off the work to-do list gave me a feeling of accomplishment that carried through the rest of the day.

Upon returning home this evening, I was able to make dinner for the kids and myself, entertain them, get them ready and put them to bed, clean up the first floor of the house (including the kitchen and living room), clean out the first floor closet, and start our taxes. My poor wife, who had been under siege all day from the three little ones, took our infant upstairs where the two of them got some much-needed rest in the relative peace and quiet of our room. While it wasn't the first choice on my list, I had a great time doing all of these things, again feeding off that feeling of accomplishment which started earlier in the day.

Starting the taxes brought the only disappointment. Considering that my wife was unable to work this year and we added our newest daughter to the fold, we were hoping to get more back this year than last. Unfortunately that doesn't appear to be the case. The best I can figure is that, with the amount of overtime I worked during the middle part of the year, my salary must have crossed some threshold to move into a higher tax bracket. As it stands, we will receive somewhere near $300-500 less than in 2009. Considering we are getting a refund at all, there's not much to complain about, but since every little bit helps, it's somewhat disappointing.

All of this activity left little time for gaming, which I sadly miss. Tomorrow is the release of Mass Effect 2, and I won't be partaking in the sequel to one of my favorite games of all time. There's not enough time and not enough money to justify the outlay of $50 or more, but so be it. I still haven't been able to get to any of the games I was really looking forward to over the past year, which leaves me with a healthy backlog to work through before I could even think about a new game. Of course, three great kids and a wife deserve my attention anyway, so I can't complain. On the upside, I've been able to find time to write every evening, and that is something of an accomplishment for me. Until tomorrow, and another serving of my mind in text, take care and enjoy!

Birthday and Reflection

noreply@blogger.com (Jonny G.) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 02:00:00 +0000

NaBloPoMo enters the homestretch, here on the 24th day of consecutive entries. This entry deals with the birthday party we had today and some of the thoughts brought up because of it.

Today was the celebration of our twins' second birthday. They were born on January 25th, 2008, the day that changed my life forever. Watching them this afternoon, tearing around the house with their older cousins, gave me pause to think just how much my life has gotten better since they came along. I've felt deeper emotions than I could have imagined possible, from intense love and pride to fear and sadness. There's a very good chance that all parents will say the same thing, and for those without children it's a phenomenon that can't be explained with words alone. Of course, since this is a blog, I'm going to try.

Both of the stories involve my son, as one is very traumatic and happened to him, while the other (happier) story occurred just yesterday between the two of us. His twin sister, with her energy, intellect and personality, could be and will be the focus of another post in the future, and my youngest daughter is in the formative stages of showing us her personality. For now, the spotlight is on Nick. When Nick was less than a year old, he and his mom took a fall off some very steep steps in the front of his uncle's house. I wasn't there at the time, and received a hysterical call from my wife, asking me through sobs what to do. Her sister-in-law got everyone to the emergency room, as I raced from work down the highway to get to them. Fortunately, everyone came through fine, with poor Nick suffering only from some bruises, and my wife suffering more emotionally than physically. The part that sticks out from my perspective is the hour or so between when I took the call and when I joined them in the emergency room. No shortage of awful imagery and horrible thoughts raced through my head, and didn't stop until I had everyone in my arms and knew they were ok. I wasn't prepared for the fear and feeling of utter helplessness I experienced that day, knowing that there was nothing I could do to help him or protect him at that time.

The far happier story I can relay is that yesterday I took Nick with me to get our hair cut. This wouldn't be the first time he's had his hair cut, but the trips had been fraught with yelling, crying and other dramatic histrionics. To say he didn't enjoy the process would be an understatement. Since I was far overdue to get my own mop trimmed, he and I set out together to the local shop where I've been going to try a different approach. I set Nick up on the bench behind the barber chair I was assigned, complete with his little cars, and settled in for my cut. Every couple of minutes, I would look back to him and ask how things were going and make sure he was watching daddy get his hair cut. Once I was finished, I talked with the very nice girl who did my hair, Cassie, to see if she would be willing to try to cut Nick's hair and if she had any suggestions on how to proceed. We settled on having him sit in my lap while she knelt down and trimmed his hair. At first, he was a bit nervous and wanted to hop out of my lap, but after a bit of soft talking and convincing him everything would be alright, he stopped fidgeting and let Cassie cut his hair. After all of the antics that had accompanied the previous attempts, I can't begin to describe how proud I was of 'my little man' as he sat patiently while the hair floated down around him. In the end, we both ended up with great haircuts, a chocolate doughnut and (I hope) a routine we can continue together in the future, as a chance for some special 'father-son time.'

Today, as my kids tore around the house, I couldn't help but think of the journey to get where we are today, and realized that I wouldn't trade those memories for all the money in the world. The love and pride I have for all my children knows no bounds, and it's something I never would have experienced if I hadn't been blessed with them in my life.