Asking Anastasia

NEW WEBSITE!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:25:00 +0000

Hello everyone,

I just thought I'd let you all know that I'm going to be posting now to my new website:

http://askinganastasia.com or just click here

I thank you all for reading! :)

<3 A

What you deserve

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 05:00:00 +0000

Hey friends,

(Earlier this afternoon I wrote this posting but apparently didn't publish) oops!!

Just got back from my gym here in San Pedro, the Train Station. Since I've been here, I've made it a point to try to eat healthier and exercise more. Both of which I continue to work at, but it's nice to see some physical reward for the commitment.

When I arrived back home, I had an email in my inbox with my daily horoscope, which I thought I'd share with you today. :)

"No one will get close to you now -- not unless they've fulfilled three very particular requirements. They've got to be seriously sexy, extremely intense and not for the faint of heart -- because you're not going to go for them if you only get two out of three."

My immediate response was to laugh, however, the more I thought about it, its completely fitting!

It's not like I'm looking to get into ANY kind of relationship at the moment. It hasn't even been that long since the ex-bf and I broke up. The point is- I'm sick of wasting my time on men that don't live up to my standards. I'm sick of "taking 2 out of 3" qualities.

I want all 3, and I deserve all 3!

(Not to say that there are only 3 things that I want out of a romantic partner either! I'm just running with the earlier example! Furthermore, this horoscope is only for a few days and not for the entirety of my life.)

Maybe I'm just realizing this? Maybe I've always known this?

I guess this might be bad news for some of you... hahah kidding! :)

Anastasia

Always remember: "Don't settle for less than you deserve, you're worth MORE than that!"

Pure Rant

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 08:05:00 +0000

Hey readers,

This posting really isn't any substance, other than the fact that it's just a pure rant.

As you might know, I am obtaining my Master of Science Degree in Organizational Leadership, online. The way the University is structured, each student takes one class per month. The classes are only 4 weeks long and each covers 4 MONTHS worth of information.

Today, at the end of my 2nd week of class, I had a "midterm exam" covering 8 chapters worth of information, as well as all lectures. Because it is an online class and we have information at our fingertips, the University generally advises professors to put a time limit on exams. For instance, today's test was 25 multiple choice/True-False, and I had an hour to take it.

I have always been a great test taker, however, I studied all eight chapters, and the test was STILL DIFFICULT.

What made it horrible, was the fact that there were very similar answers to each question. So, a question took me a LOT longer to focus and spend time on. Furthermore, most answer selections had multiple claims/parts. And, as we remember from grade school- "If ONE part of the answer is wrong, the ENTIRE statement is wrong." So I had to make sure that every part of every answer was legitimate.

A question looked like this:

1) How do you define ______ theory?

a) xxx, zzz, yyy

b) xxxx, zzz, yyyyy

c) xxxx, yyy, zzzzzz

d) a & b

e) b & c

f) all of the above

I'm not saying make the answers obvious, but come on! With a time limit of one hour, that was approximately 2 minutes per question, which was really not enough time for someone who studied, let alone, trying to refer back to many concepts, within 200 pages of material, and sort through the madness of each option! UGH! Talk about horrible.

PROMISE to self and future students:

When I am a professor, I will NOT give you questions that mess up your mind like this.

Just not nice!

Thanks, I feel a little better.

Anastasia

Always remember: "I do not have to be perfect, and I am okay with not being perfect!" *sigh!* :(

New Moon Ritual?

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Sat, 06 Nov 2010 22:00:00 +0000

Hello friends,

Tonight is another NEW MOON! This is the second new moon we've shared together!

Once again, the new moon is a great time for a "fresh start!" It is a time for rejuvenation, goal-setting, and self-searching. It is also a time to reevaluate your goals from last month's new moon, to see how much you've achieved or if you've achieved anything at all!

The term ritual can be misinterpreted to have a religious undertone. In this instance however, I'm simply defining ritual as a "any practice or pattern of behavior regularly performed in a set manner" (Dictionary.com).

Using the artice "New Moon Manifestation Ceremony," with additions and suggestions of my own, there are 6 steps you can take in your new moon ritual:

1) Cleanse your "sacred" area

That's what she said? No, you perverts! This means the space in which you will perform this ritual. You can do this by saying a prayer, burning sage, and/or lighting incense.
This might be a little too "religious" or "cult-like" for some of you, so you can also visualize and focus on bringing positive energy into your space.

2) Light a candle (or more) with intention

Lighting a candle symbolizes bringing light to our wishes or desires.
Lighted candles are reflections of our emotional self and help to illuminate our hearts when we feel burdened.
Make sure to reflect on whatever is resonating within you at this the moment.

3) Center yourself

Calm yourself however you feel most comfortable and appropriate.
This can include anything like: listening to meditating/calm music, taking some deep breaths, sipping some herbal tea, or closing your eyes and clearing your mind.

4) Goal writing preparation

When centered, take out your paper and pen. It would be best to keep a separate journal for your new moon goals, so you can have them all in one place.
If this is not your first time writing out your goals, look back upon your goals from the previous month or have it handy.
Date the page/entry.
Before writing out your goals, this article suggests you write out an affirmation statement. This is a positive statement based upon the PRESENT. This can be something like, "I accept these things into my life now or something better for my highest good and for the highest good of all concerned."

5) Write out your goals for the future

With your goals from the previous month(s), rewrite out every goal you still would like to achieve. You can change the wording, or update as necessary, however, it is important to rewrite each goal to give it importance and clear away the past.
Do not keep a "goal list" and add new goals at the bottom or "cross out" goals achieved. If you have achieved a goal, simply omit it from your new list!
Do not limit yourself! You can have one goal, or pages worth! Write down everything that you desire, no matter how little or simple. If it is something that makes you happy, write it down.
Make sure to add more "immediately achievable" goals such as: going to the spa with my girlfriends or tickets to my favorite band's concert coming up. No goal is too trivial to put on your list!
You can make it into a scrapbook too- adding pictures, inspiring quotes, or other to make it your own and add the extra visual element.

6) Closing

To close the ceremony, do something you see as symbolic of change.
For me, this was planting seeds. I planted cat grass for my kitty Phoenix. This is actually good because the cat grass only lasts about a month before needing to be replanted anyway!
You can release balloons into the sky to symbolize your dreams taking flight... Ok, I know it sounds corny, but it can really be anything you view as a symbol for change or growth.

Even if you don't get into the new moon like I do, goal setting is extremely important! Not only is clearly defining your goals crucial, but measuring them is equally important.

I hope you achieve everything you desire!

Anastasia

Always remember: "Its my life to do with as I please. I can accomplish anything!

Stick with what Works

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 21:09:00 +0000

Hello Readers-

Disclaimer: I respect every person's perspective regarding religion and spirituality. I will never try to argue my perspective with the intention to try to convince someone to change their perspective. My personal viewpoint is based on gaining as much information as possible, identifying the similarities in different theories/perspectives, and most importantly, "treating others as I would like to be treated."

I don't want to get too much into what I believe regarding religion, however... I do believe in some kind of "higher power" of sorts. Some kind of "force unseen"; something that created the majesty of nature and human beings; some powerful anomaly that watches out for me and has protected me when times should or could have been MUCH worse. I think things happen sometimes that just cannot be explained. (No, I still don't think that things "happen for a reason". haha) And for sake of simplicity in reading through this posting, I will call it HP, to avoid confusion. (Most people would call this power "God".)

Can I define this? No.

Is it even "one" thing? No idea.

Do I try to understand it and make assumptions? No.

I just accept that this is something greater than I know, can understand, or do anything about.

With that being said, as I've grown as a person over the past few years, I've included many other things into the "higher power" equation. These other things include: my parents, sister, best friend, my "support group" aka: close friends, and as asinine as it sounds- nature. (Looking for things in nature that I find beautiful).

Recently, as you might have known if you've been reading since the beginning, I've had severe moodiness issues. (Understatement of the month) :) I realized today, that I have been putting my faith only into one or two of the "higher powers" I've described above. They are not in conjunction with each other. Meaning, I've talked to my sister, I've talked to my best friend, I've prayed to the anomalous "HP" (AKA to most people as "God"), I've talked to my parents. These messages however, have been skewed to each person, and I have not been honest with myself in each instance. So, not that I was lying by any means to any, but each message was catered to the receiver, and the entire message was not necessarily expressed. Furthermore, I have not relied upon my group of friends (what I call "support group) in a long time, and have been out of touch with that entire realm.

I realized that when I was genuinely happy- all aspects of my higher power(s) were aligned with each other, and I was putting attention and effort in maintaining those relationships. Something that I need to do a lot better, if I want to feel better.

Stick with what works.

This is something I really need to get back to. Even though my brain works scientifically and needs "proof"... whether or not you believe in what I believe in...for me, (thats okay!) but these are all of the things in my life that have proven to bring happiness in my life.

This is all the proof I need for today. (Tomorrow might be a different story) :)

Thank you for your readership. You truly give me a means to express thoughts and feelings openly.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference!"

Birth Chart!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 09:35:00 +0000

Hello Readers!!!!

Another New Moon will be approaching this Saturday, and in honor of that, I decided to have a birth chart done!

Birth charts are used to "map out" a specific time and place of an individual's birth on the Earth, in order to gain specific insight about that individual. These charts note specific information like the position of each planet when born, and its relation to the position and influence of other planets (and the sun/moon).

Now, I understand that astrology is linked to astronomy, and by no means am going to give you a lesson in trying to explain the intricate details of charts (like aspects or houses), but, I will briefly explain the basics.

SUN SIGN- This is your birth date. When you usually read your "horoscope" in the paper, this is the most general categorization of characteristics. As a Scorpio- I am considered "passionate, mysterious, vengeful, loyal, and hyper-emotional" to name a few. Because of the broad generalizations though, most people do not fully understand astrology.

They think, "Yes, I have x,y, z, but that could apply to anyone. I have traits from most signs, not just one."

This is where a birth chart can come in handy! Yes, you might not identify 100% with your sun sign characteristics, but according to astrologists, there are other influences that affect each individual, contributing in specific ways to their personality.

MOON SIGN- This depends on the position of the moon when you were born. The moon sign is said to shed 'more light' (pun intended) in trying to understand one's personal, emotional self. The position of the moon, in conjunction with your sun sign, can tell you a lot about a person's instincts, habits, and private life.

My moon sign is in Capricorn, and I prefer doing more practical, worthwhile things that produce tangible results. Because of this, I tend to feel that I am a failure unless I get a highly respected and important position in life (very much a Capricorn trait). In love, if I make an emotional commitment, I am dutiful, patient, and sign up for the "long haul".

RISING SIGN/ASCENDANT- This is the sign of the zodiac (rising sign) and degree that was ascending (ascendant) on the eastern horizon at the specific time and location of your birth. The way to find the rising sign/ascendant can be done by the simple equation:

Or you can plug your info into an ascendant calculator. It is important to know the time and location of your birth to calculate this, as it is dependent upon your position in relation to the horizon. (Hence, the reason I didn't want to go into too much detail with this posting. Maybe astrology is a bit more complex than you might've thought?)

In my birth chart above, my rising sign is indicated by the darker horizontal line. The ascendant is where it intersects with the Chart (at Scorpio) on the left side. It continues across to the right side of the chart, the intersection of Taurus. (This is called the descendant, will be discussed below).

The rising sign is thought to be the sign that embodies both the sun and moon signs. The combination of Sun, Moon and Ascendant describe what you want (Sun), what you need (Moon), and the style in which you will go about getting it (Ascendant) (starslikeyou.com.au). Because the ascendant is specific to a particular time and place, it signifies the individual environment and conditioning that a person receives during their upbringing, and also the circumstances of their childhood. The ascendant reveals the ways you present yourself to others, as well as the ways in which you immediately respond to the world around you. *Generally, the rising sign falls into the "First House", but does not always occur. I have a Scorpio Rising, and essentially, this is the Sun Sign characteristics personified. (I won't bore you with the details).

DESCENDANT- The point 180 degrees from the ascendant. The descendant signifies the sign of people you are the most attracted by, you easily get along well with and you are most likely to start a love relationship with, if backed up by other zodiacal aspects.

This is actually the SOLE REASON I started reading into astrology. I noticed that some of my very best friends were all within days of each other. Why, all the sudden, do I have to buy ten birthday presents!?!?! I have found that some of my best, long-lasting relationships are those with Taurus. If you are single but don't want to stay that way- the Descendant is a good thing to know, when "screening" for potential relationships!

MIDHEAVEN/MEDIUM COELI (MC)- The Midheaven is one of the most important angles in the birth chart. It traditionally indicates career, status, aim in life, aspirations, public reputation, and our life goal. The individual will identify with and admire the qualities of the astrological sign on the Midheaven. (This could be the reason my sister and I get along so well!) The sign on the cusp of the midheaven quite often indicates what kind of career, vocation, or reputation in life the native will pursue. It also reflects how an individual reacts to stressful situations.

This line on the above birth chart is the darker vertical line passing from Virgo to Pisces. Where the line "intersects" at the top is the midheaven. My Virgo midheaven can best be summarized:

They have the courage and honesty to look deeply into themselves. They use what they've learned to serve as an unselfish guide, helping others explore the workings of their own minds. They're also good at using language as a healing tool in their daily activities. Their strong verbal skills could lead to literary or scientific creativity.

Not one to beat around the bush, Virgo Midheaven folks like to cut to the heart of situations. They're excellent students because they learn quickly and easily and question anything that doesn't fit. They make excellent teachers.

I find this brief excerpt quite interesting because I use this blog as a medium- with my attempts to look honestly into my own life, and I try to provide insight for others to relate to. Additionally, I have always held positions of teaching and coaching my entire life. I find this kind of "work" fulfilling, rewarding, and the only thing I can picture myself doing.

"LASTLY" (My sister makes fun of me for saying this word)

IMUM COELI (IC)- The Imum Coeli is said to refer to our roots and also to the least conscious part of ourselves. It symbolizes foundations, beginnings in life, what may have been experienced through parental inheritance and homeland influences, need for security and relationships with the home and family life. It also may describe the circumstances that we will encounter at the end of our lives. This is 180 degrees away from the Medium Coeli/Midhaven.

In my chart above, my imum coeli is in Pisces. Since this is the influence upon home, some adjectives that describe Pisces can be applied to my own upbringing and relationships within my household, as well as the kind of household I will have as I grow older: (Positive:) Compassionate, Adaptable, Accepting, Devoted, (Negative:) Oversensitive, Indecisive, Escapist.

The sun, moon, and the four "angles" (rising, descending, MC & IC) are the most important influences in one's personality profile from a birth chart. How each planet interacts also add other dimensions, however, they do not have the influence like the former.

From my teaching experience, I know that some people are "visual learners." With a chart, and a "key" you can visually see specific aspects of your personality. You can learn new things about yourself and how you interact with others. You can better understand why you act the way you do in certain situations. You can see what you are more drawn to, as well as things that push you away.

If you would like your own birth chart, there are certain "free sites" on the internet. They might or might not provide the interpretations, however. If you would like me to do one for you, let me know! askinganastasia@gmail.com

Anastasia

Always remember: "We rise by kneeling, we conquer by surrendering, and we gain by giving up" (The life lesson for a Scorpio Rising sign)

Priorities = NO fun!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 00:24:00 +0000

Hey friends,

Its Thursday and the only "real" thing I have planned is to meet with my Group for my recent class: Organizational Development. Let me tell you- I'm excited.

Do you feel the sarcasm? ;)

As some of you know, I am finishing my Master of Science Degree in Organizational Leadership through National University, out of California. They offer online programs! I love it!

Well the only thing I'm NOT excited about is the fact that I have to do school work on a Thursday night, when its sushi night with my girlfriends! Oh well. Life happens. Priorities, right? I guess I can still go out after class is over... after all... the tourists are starting to come back... *bow chicka wow wow*... Who can pass up some nice eye-candy and attention?

So, I've been thinking a lot, as usual, and I've decided that I'll be living in Belize for a while longer (not solely based on tourist season!!!!) I've had such amazing experiences here, met wonderful friends, and have grown so much as an individual. Belize has been overall- a good thing for me.

Anyone want to come visit? :)

I have a long list of things I need to finish before my class tonight, so I have to run, but I've been working on a post for the past few days that I will post by tomorrow!

Anastasia

Always remember: "Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do"

One Month already?!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 21:43:00 +0000

Hello readers!

I want to thank you for your overwhelming continuing support for the past month! Today is the one month mark from the starting date!

I have received so much positive feedback from you, I've decided to continue my blog!

This past month was somewhat experimental, in that I didn't know if anyone would even read anything I had to say! :) Maybe that's just me being a little insecure... big surprise. :)

Either way, I'm saying, THANK YOU FRIENDS! You mean so much to me!

I welcome comments, criticisms, feedback, and etc! Keep it coming, and I'll try to do my best to entertain you with my random thoughts along the way! :)

Anastasia

Always remember: "I get by with a little help from my friends" ~John Lennon

Adapting to rapid change

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 00:44:00 +0000

Hello friends!
I know it has been a while since I've been consistently updating, and once again, I sincerely apologize!
As you know, I have been on the mainland in Belize for the last week with very limited internet. (Only when I went into town, and begged to use the wireless in a restaurant!)

I've been trying to make some decisions regarding what to do and where to go next. Considering my 6 month lease is up mid-month, this month, I have been weighing my options. I can't BELIZE I've been here already for 6 months! Where has the time gone?

I was commenting to a friend the other day about how quickly things change here. One minute, you can plan on doing something, then 10 minutes later, something COMPLETELY unexpected happens. And this is a normality!

My problem lies in two things:
1) The inability to make plans that come to fruition
2) The inability to adapt and remain patient and/or calm

I like to make plans. I like to be spontaneous. These two statements seem paradoxical, however, make sense in my head. I like the feeling of trust, reliability, and stability that comes out of making and following through with plans. However- I also like to make spontaneous choices within certain boundaries, within certain options, within a given time.

Like I've said, I'm trying to figure out what I am going to do for the upcoming months. Do I move home? Do I stay here? Do I stay here, but move to a different property? Do I move somewhere new entirely? These are all questions that have been on my mind. There are a few "hurdles" in my way. My financial aid was messed up, since the month I've been in Belize. It's hard to make plans that are based on other factors, which also change quite frequently. In other words, whether or not I stay, depends upon whether or not I can make the money last until my next disbursement. This might seem like a "normal" problem to most people, but the reasons why the disbursement was messed up in the first place, as well as the conditions thereafter have been changing the entire time.

Another recent example was the hurricane on my birthday. I decided 2 hours before hopping on a flight to the mainland, that the best thing to do was to try and take myself and my cat to a "safer place." The hurricane was projected to go north, towards San Pedro, and by flying out to the south part of Belize, I would potentially avoid danger. This changed dramatically within a day, as the hurricane suddenly changed direction towards us. Another factor in my "planning" was the information I was told when I talked to the friends I traveled with. The estimation was, I would probably be home around Tuesday. Tuesday turned into Friday, which turned into Saturday morning, which resulted in being home Saturday evening. Once again, proving:

It is [almost] impossible to try to plan anything in such a rapid-changing environment.

This leads me to, HOW I adapt to the change in plans. With the consistent uncertainty as to what is going to happen next, I have a very difficult time adapting to each change. It seems that I don't have enough time to "make peace with" or adapt to each thing that comes along, until the next issue arises.

This is probably the most difficult for me! My problem lies in my ability to adapt to those changes. Technically, I cannot do anything about the change itself- but WHAT I DO AFTER the change happens.

Once again, I'm focusing too much on what I cannot change, and not paying enough attention to what I can change.

How do I adapt to change better?
There are 5 skills that the article "Adapting to Change: 5 Essential Life Skills" presents:
1) Stop and think to avoid misinterpretations
Give yourself time to analyze situations thoroughly. View actions and circumstances from different angles and perspectives to gain an accurate understanding of what has happened. If people are involved, communicate your concerns and ask questions to get information that might not be apparent. This will allow you to make informed choices.
2) Think long-term
Ask yourself "What if?" questions. Think about the consequences of dealing with a situation in various ways. Ask, "What will I lose?" and "What will I gain?" "How could this choice affect my family, friends, self, and future well being?"
3) Prepare for change with continuous learning
Change is a constant in everyone's life. The skills needed to meet various needs will change throughout all stages of life. We will continue to need updated knowledge in such areas as self-care, relationships, parenting, and financial.
4) Look beneath the surface
Welcome challenges. Every challenging situation brings the chance to grow wiser and more skillful. Somewhere, someone has successfully dealt with the same situation. Even circumstances that seem most devastating carry within them the seed of a new blessing. Those who search for these blessings will eventually find them.
5) Become clear on your values: the principles that guide your actions
Then look at your needs: those things that must be met in ways that remain true to your values. Ask yourself this question: "Is my reaction an attempt to meet a personal need in a healthy manner, or is it a creative solution to some other problem?" Then ask, "Is my choice of action in keeping with my core values?"

These solutions sound doable, but if you're at like me when I'm in the moment, or as my best friend always says "when the rubber meets the road", all logic goes out of the window. I have 5 practical, logical applications to adaptive challenges, but I know myself well enough not to use any of them. So now what?

Realistically, the only thing I can think of is to stay calm and positive. In all of my past experiences, an immediate reaction from me is not only irrational, but negative- yielding less-than-ideal consequences. This impulsive reaction has also caused more work that I'd need to do afterward; "damage control" for what I did/said in response to the change.

Also- One of the best things I can do in a situation that makes me uncomfortable, anxious, or unsure of the future (that I've learned thus far) is to DO NOTHING. This might sound weird to most people, but because my initial response is to make an impulsive decision or reaction, if I "do nothing" it allows me to calm down until I can decide on a better solution to the newest problem.

Different methods work for different people. The key is making the best decision on the course of action after the change happens.

Anastasia

Always remember: "The only thing that will not change, is change"

28-29 October- 2 Days at Mahogany Hall

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 23:28:00 +0000

Hello friends,

I know it has been a while since I've been online, and once again, I sincerely apologize for not having internet in the past week. Here is an update up until RIGHT NOW!!! :)

28 October

I woke up this morning at 10:30am (after being out until 4am, and falling asleep at 5am), took a shower, and Joe and I cleaned out the 4runner. We were able to clean out the inside only halfway- you wouldn't imagine the mud, dirt and rocks that ended up in this car!

After cleaning our bodies up a bit more, we drove back into San Ignacio Town.


Going into San Ignacio

After stopping in town, we were off to Mahogany Hall.

This Place is AMAZING! It is in Bullet Tree Falls, Belize, 10 or so minutes out of San Ignacio, and just outside of the small town of Bullet Tree.

Little Police Station on the side of the road

What most of Mainland Belize looks like.

Then off to Mahogany Hall!

The outside can be deceiving, but just wait......

Walking through the massive "old-world, church-style" door at Mahogany Hall, you are instantly transported into a tropical paradise. Belize has some pretty phenomenal areas, however, this is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been!

Through the doors at Mahogany Hall

Enjoy the beauty of the Mopan River, while dining. The Birds of Paradise flower reminds me of my Grandmother!


One of the most peaceful places on earth!

Beautiful Birds of Belize live at Mahogany Hall too!

Another YUMMY dinner! Table at Mahogany Hall!

The friends I've been staying with in Cayo have been waiting for their truck to be picked up, and it was finally ready today. This means, because I was the only one completely sober, I got to drive the 4Runner off-road style home through the jungle! It felt amazing to be driving again, as on Ambergris Caye (in San Pedro), I don't have a golf cart, let alone a car! The town is small enough, even without cars, and I haven't driven since I've been in Belize!

It was absolutely surreal driving through the hills of Belize at night, feeling the presence of Mayans passed, all around us!

When we arrived back to the cabin, Joe and I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning, telling ghost stories!

29 October

After a long, scary night of stories last night, the morning came too fast!

We came back to Mahogany Hall to do some work all day, and I'm still here!

I played with the birds, did schoolwork, caught up with my friends, checked email, and relaxed once again by the beautiful Mopan River!

As it's getting dark here, my tummy is starting to rumble.... I'm going to figure out what is for dinner!

I should be home tomorrow, so the posts will be back to "normal"... hopefully!

Anastasia

Always remember: "Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there"

Update 24-27 October

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 21:38:00 +0000

Hey people-

So I'm still stuck in Cayo with my friends at their "country" house. It's funny actually because when I think of "country" I think of hot, flat farm land with a million cows and/or cotton fields. (Much like the environment I grew up in).

From my other post, the land where I stayed is hilly, green, humid, with palm trees- however... still cows. :)

For the day of my birthday (24 October, Sunday), I blew out my birthday candle which was not on a cake- it was actually an emergency candle for power outages- which we used all night long as the hurricane rattled and rolled the house!

Because we are staying almost literally in the middle of nowhere, it was pitch black! Trying to shut all of the windows in the dark was interesting, but it didn't help that it was raining with high winds! A few hours after, the wind had picked up even more, and we discovered that some of the windows were not shut all the way. Additionally, the door to my room would not stay shut- Joe almost got blown away!

The two days after the storm were spent relaxing at the house- nothing extremely exciting happened, however, we had this yummy meat for dinner on the 26 Oct.

While the longest piece of meat I've ever seen was cooking, I went inside to find my kitty princess Phoenix was making herself comfortable in my room.

27 October, I finally got out of the house! For me, being cooped up for too long makes me anxious. We decided to go into San Ignacio Town to play and get internet (thank God). I was in town long enough to post the update a few days ago: Post-Hurricane Update.

View of San Ignacio

When I came on my trip to Belize two years ago with one of my friends, we stayed in San Ignacio, and ate at Hannah's that had the best lamb curry that I've ever had- granted, I don't like lamb OR curry, but this was phenomenal.


Yummy salad at Hannah's, San Ignacio Town, Belize. Look at that starfruit! Amazing!

After eating at Hannah's, we went to Mr. Greedy's Pizzaria (where I wrote my last blog). And then we went to the casino- until 4am.

Headed back home to the cabin, to finally crash out around 5am. :)

Anastasia

Always remember: "Life's short- you can sleep when you're dead!"

Post-Hurricane Update

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Wed, 27 Oct 2010 23:25:00 +0000

Hey everyone!

Thanks for hanging in there upon my absence! I've not had any internet for the past few days, and let me tell you--- I MISS IT! I've been staying with some friends in Cayo District, approx 20 min outside San Ignacio Town, Belize, and about 5 miles away from the Guatemalan Border!

View from the Cabin. Hills are Guatemala.

The trip started with a flight over from San Pedro, Belize to Belize City. I went with 3 friends, 3 dogs, and my cat.

Anastasia on Plane over the Belize Barrier Reef 10-23-10

Belize's Reef!

We landed at the Municipal Airport in Belize, went to start the car, and the battery was dead!!!! We talked a Maya Island Air worker to jump the car for us...

Tina, Michelle's dog. Happy to be on land!

After the jump, we drove towards San Ignacio. We passed the "Sleeping Mayan" mountains.

On the way, we stopped at Barn & Grill and had one of the most yummy burgers EVER! I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EATING HERE! Its just off the Western Highway!

After this yummy yummy burger, we continued on to the house. Stopped at a grocery store to get supplies and they were building another store next to it. This is how they construct buildings in Belize... this is one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen! I remember on my first trip to Belize, they were building a 3 story building at the time this way!

Then we arrived at the house!

This is a view from the deck- the "dot" underneath the tree, just above the hood of the car is the Mayan Ruin.

The closeup of the "dot" on the hill!

This are just the pics from Saturday 10-23-10.

I have to get off the computer now, as I'm "borrowing" a local restaurant's internet connection in San Ignacio. :)

I'll post soon... possibly no sooner than Friday though!

Anastasia

Always remember: "You can turn a bad situation into a good one by changing your perspective"

Hurricane DICK! Coming right for me!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 17:58:00 +0000

El Castillo at Xunantunich Mayan Ruin, Cayo, Belize

Hello friends!

Sorry to all of you have been awaiting a post. Currently, Hurricane RICHARD is headed right for my island- Ambergris Caye, Belize. My favorite storm tracking site: Stormpulse

I am actually evacuating the island for my BIRTHDAY WEEKEND! (Birthday is Sunday, 24 Oct, tomorrow)....

I am going to stay at a friend's place in Cayo District, and probably will not have internet access within the next few days, however, will take millions of pics and will post as soon as I head into town to pick up internet. We might go horseback riding, or even to the Xunantunich Mayan Ruins!

Thank you for your patience! Love you all!!! :)

Anastasia

Always remember: "Better safe than sorry!"

Thank "God" for One Less Sociopath

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 06:34:00 +0000

Hello everyone-

I told you I'd put out another blog for the night, and this one is based on an event that happened within the last week, here in San Pedro.

On the 18 October, Ricardo Caveras, a local "businessman" was arrested. There are many different articles that have basically the same information (cited below). Mr. Caveras allegedly ripped off a lot of money from people in the States, Panama, Costa Rica, and here in Belize. He's had a number of different aliases, and the list of charges he's acquired keep coming. Some of which are: "Outstanding arrest warrants in the United States for parole violation, security fraud and other fraud related cases under the name of Richard D. Cover Jr." According to the other online websites, he's also had the other aliases, another one being: R.J. Erwin. In addition, he had a wife and child in San Pedro, as well as another wife and children that he abandoned in the States.

It seems as if from all the research and personal horror stories I've read, "R.J." (the name he used on the island) is a SOCIOPATH! (Categorized within Antisocial Personality Disorder)

What is a sociopath?

"Someone whose social behavior is extremely abnormal. Sociopaths are interested only in their personal needs and desires, without concern for the effects of their behavior on others." (dictionary.com)
"Sociopaths most readily defined by an inability to connect with the emotions of others. They are happy to exploit those around them when the situation suits them. Sociopaths are difficult to treat because they rarely admit that they have a problem. Part of their condition entails rationalizing their behavior away, they often lie quite readily, and can be very convincing when they do. This makes them difficult to spot at times, even to trained professionals" (ehow.com)

Traits of a sociopath:

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapacity for Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

How can you identify/avoid sociopaths?

Recognizing a sociopath is not as easy as it may seem, despite the clear criteria provided by the DSMR-IV for diagnosis. Sociopaths can be very convincing and charming at first, especially at the beginning of relationships. A history of poor relationships, problems with the law, and excessive lying are just a few red flags to watch out for at the beginning. A lack of remorse, when noticed in a possible sociopath, is often a warning sign. It is nearly impossible to have a normal relationship with a sociopath, and in some cases, being involved with a sociopath can be dangerous. Their lack of regard for the welfare of others and typical lack of conscience can make sociopaths dangerous (associatedcontent.com)

Unfortunately, if you encounter a sociopath, you probably wouldn't even know it. This has been the case for many victims in this particular instance. It is essential that you know and understand your own weaknesses, and try to be more cautious of trusting individuals.

I personally feel that the "negative Karma points" "R.J" has earned will be coming back around. I feel empathy for all the victims, and am glad that he is finally in custody so he cannot rip off any more of my friends... good, trusting, HONEST people.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Treat others as you'd want to be treated"

Links to articles:

Clean bed, Clean head

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 01:21:00 +0000

What my walk to the gym looks like

Hello friends!

Last night was fun at La Playa Lounge for ladies night!!! The music was great--- and the videos actually matched up! (For those of you that live in Belize, you understand that this is a BIG thing!) :) The crowd was fun too. There was a group of ladies celebrating a bachelorette party, lots of dancing, beautiful faces and bodies! If you missed out, stay tuned for the next Playa event!

I got home last night, and as always, had a lot on my mind. There have been some interesting things happening on the island-- I swear I'm on a reality show! In addition to the "island drama", I have been dealing with issues that are important to me! One of those, is another move--- possibly Mexico? Who knows?

Either way, I was up late last night again, tossing and turning, with a million thoughts running through my head. However, for the first day in a while, I woke up this morning and actually felt rested! This doesn't happen often, trust me!

It was another beautiful day here in San Pedro! It only ot up to about 88 degrees! The humidity right now is 63%, and it couldn't have been much higher throughout the day. The weather in San Pedro has been a lot cooler, since I've been here. I'm rarely using my A/C! Hopefully this will show in the electricity bills! :)

I returned some emails, then met one of my girlfriends at the gym.

For the last 3 months, I can honestly say that living here has helped me exercise. Not because there are a million hot, toned bodies running around, but because I have really gotten over my "Self-diagnosed PTSD" that I have built up over the years- as a result of playing Division 1 College Volleyball. (Another blog in itself, LOL!)

After the gym, I went to pick up half a chicken and some freshly made tortillas. (This chicken was pre-cooked, because you all know what happened the last time I tried to debone a chicken!) I finished up the rest of the day cleaning, doing laundry, and dishes. Now, I'm just listening to some Reggaeton, while waiting for my laundry to be finished. :)

Stay tuned, I'll have another post tonight.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Clean bed, Clean head"

Doors, Fate, Faith, and Control

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 02:15:00 +0000

Relaxing on a hammock in Caye Caulker, Belize

Hello lovely readers!

I hope you had the chance to read the blog I posted yesterday regarding the topic of "self-validated intimacy." This was actually a very deep blog for me to post, so if you'd like to read me getting down to the bare honesty and struggles that I've been going through, there is a good place to begin.

With that said, it seems as if things happen in my life that I wouldn't call "fate", yet far to interesting to call just a "coincidence". I'm not going to go off on a huge philosophical, theological tangent, however the concept of a higher power interests and fascinates me.

I agree with the saying:

"When one door closes, another opens"

I've noticed in my life, that once I accept something for what it is, and the fact that I cannot do anything about it, and AM OKAY with that, something fascinating happens. As soon as the acceptance stage hits, doors open that I could have never imagined. (My problem seems to be that I want to reach that stage before I am ready to, and its almost a false sense of acceptance). Either way, in order for me to move on with my life, I have to go through a period of genuine acceptance of circumstances, and be content with the fact that I cannot control the situation.

However, I completely disagree with the saying:

"Everything happens for a reason"

I feel that things happen because we create situations that yield into different situations. We started on a path that could lead us down other potential paths, with different outcomes. For instance, my last boyfriend broke up with me. Well, (in part) what caused that was that I brought past relationship assumptions/behaviors into the current one. That included mistrust, misplaced validation, insecurities, etc. Well, if one were to use the argument:

"Things happened for a reason- maybe you two weren't 'supposed to' be with each other"

I feel this is a completely ridiculous argument. As living beings, it seems as if we need reasons to help understand things; we construct and assign meaning and value to things, people and situations. Quite possibly, it might not have worked out. However, the situation was, I brought in past relationships to the current one. The path I was on was that of one I'd been on with past relationships. If things would have worked out with past relationships, I might not have ever moved to Belize, and might not have ever met this boy. Situations from the past, lead me into new situations. Also, as I've moved along in life, I can look back and say, "It might not have worked with past relationships. I'm glad I learned different things about others and myself. What have I learned from those, to help me have a better relationship with the next person?"

It's what you make of the situation from hereafter. So, the "reason" is actually constructed afterward. I don't feel it is some miraculous God-sent message why things didn't work out. Furthermore, you don't have to construct any reason at all. It lies in the meaning and value you assign to the situation. If I just forgot completely about ever dating him, deleted all the pictures, and suppressed all the memories, there wouldn't need to be "a reason". As far as I'd be concerned, it never even happened. If I give him no value, if he didn't mean anything to me, I wouldn't need a reason to help understand the situation.

A situation like a family member/friend dying (which we'd have nothing to do with), in that instance that saying would be used to help "move on" from the loss. What can we take positive out of the situation to make the next better? "Things happened for a reason, they were in a lot of pain...They are in a better place." Now we feel better in mourning. We know now, how to move on with our life and potentially handle the next death a little better, because we accepted the situation and assigned meaning.

So, where lies the distinction between "fate" vs. a "self-driven path"?

I'd like to distinguish between fate, and having faith. I believe that the term fate is almost like a "get out of jail free card", and that the argument is: I can do whatever I want, because my "fate" has already been decided.

Having faith is trusting that things will work out for the best, if I steer down the path in the right direction. I have faith that if I do certain things, my life will "work out" for the better/best. Fate is higher power driven, and faith is self driven. But- this is not to say that you cannot have both... I struggle with this all the time. I honestly don't feel that we'll really ever know as humans... however, I buy into the fact that there are some things I can control, and some that I cannot.

Usually, I try to control the things I cannot, and don't take enough control over the things I can control.

Take control over the things you can control. Stop assigning meaning, and searching for "reasons" when there might not be any. Things are going to be the way they are, and if I can truly accept that, doors will open that I could have never imagined. Concentrate on me and what can be changed within me and my actions to ensure that things "work out" for the best.

Anastasia

Always remember: "The only person I can control is me"

"Self-validated intimacy"... bow chicka wow wow

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 03:00:00 +0000

10-17-10. Michelle, Anastasia, and Jean. Caye Caulker, Belize.

Hey my peeps,

I have been seriously lagging in the posting department, and I sincerely apologize to all of you!

Yesterday, I went on a short 20 minute boat ride to one of my favorite little islands here in Belize: Caye Caulker!

I took a lot of time to myself while I was on the island, just contemplating the direction of my life. I've been having a difficult time recently, in the love department particularly.

My best friend Todd, sent me an email about a week ago. Within this email, were 3 scanned chapters from one of his reading requirements for a current college class. The book is "Passionate Marriage" written by David Schnarch, Ph.D.

Within this reading, it discussed the concept of two levels of intimacy, more specifically in regards to facing conflict within relationships. (Intimacy is defined as: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group, from dictionary.com) Schnarch claims that intimacy in relationships is developed "through conflict, self-validation, and unilateral disclosure," and NOT through "accumulated experiences of mutual trust, acceptance, empathy, validation, and reciprocal disclosure," as many marriage therapists claim (p.103). These two differing perspectives are those of self-validated intimacy and other- validated intimacy, respectively.

Now, before your perverted minds wander,

Other-validated intimacy is the over-dependence upon your partner for your own validation and approval, "the expectation of acceptance, empathy, validation, or reciprocal disclosure from one's partner" (p. 106). When conflict arises and you face an "emotional gridlock" as Schnarch calls it, other-validated intimacy occurs when there is low differentiation (the ability to maintain sense of self when pressure to conform).

This is the need to focus on self-presentation, rather than self-disclosure. When you need a reflected sense of self and acceptance from your partner, your priority becomes getting the response you want. This is adaption to reduce our anxiety about the differences our partner has. However, this never provides the security and acceptance that the other-validated individual craves, because the partner never really knows the genuine self. Additionally, other-validated intimacy allows for one partner to manipulate the others' reality. One person's happiness is dependent upon the other.

"Sounds" like: "I'll tell you about myself, but only if you then tell me about yourself. If you don't, I won't either. But I want to, so you have to. I'll go first and then you'll be obligated to disclose- it's only fair. And if I go first, you have to make me feel secure. I need to be able to trust you!"

Self-validated intimacy involves providing support for yourself while letting yourself be known. It is reliant upon "a person maintaining his/her own sense of identity and self-worth when disclosing, with no expectation of acceptance or reciprocity from the partner" (p. 106) This is dependent upon one's ability to maintain a clear sense of oneself when loved ones are pressuring for conforming and sameness. This involves the relationship with yourself, as well as your relationship with your partner.

"Sounds" like: "I don't expect you to agree with me' you weren't put on the face of the earth to vailidate and reinforce me. But I want you to love me- and you can't really do that if you don't know me. I don't want your rejection- but I must face that possibility if I'm ever to feel accepted or secure with you. It's time to show myself to you and confront my separateness and mortality. One day when we are no longer together on this earth, I want to know you knew me."

Although these two forms of intimacy are brief examples and are explained much clearer in the book, I've realized that what I like to call "codependency" is more like other-validated intimacy. I don't always seek out validation from others when in friendship roles. However, when in romantic relationships, it is a very different story.

I guess I've always seen intimacy and reciprocation as synonymous. I've shared the belief that therapists and marriage couselors have had, about empathy, understanding, willingness to compromise, listening, acceptance, validation and reciprocal disclosure- as fundamental ingredients to healthy, successful relationships.

There's my problem! Intimacy is NOT synonymous with reciprocation!

When "push comes to shove" and conflict arises in relationships, I've had the tendency to try to alleviate my anxiety by obliging to the other person, only ensuring more dependency upon that other person for acceptance. This occurs in other-validated intimacy relationships, and within low-differentiated people. (People that have a difficult time maintaining sense of self when pressured to conform). I have always encouraged and pushed honesty in relationships- and have been under the delusion that if I was being honest, open, sharing, understanding, empathetic, and willing to compromise, the other person would/could/should be. I have been confusing reciprocity with intimacy the entire time!

"You have to love yourself first, before you can love anyone else", has never made any sense to me. I think its because I had a definition problem. My definition of love has always included intimacy, affection and reciprocation.

However- Love, intimacy, affection, and reciprocity are all separate things!

Examples that each are separate:

I can love you without loving myself, but I cannot be intimate with you.

I love my close [male] friends, am insecure, but will not enter into a "more serious" relationship with them

I can love you while loving myself, but it doesn't mean you have to reciprocate the love.

In a romantic relationship, I can love you, I can love myself, but cannot require you to love me back

I can be affectionate with you, without being intimate.

I can show you physical affection without wanting to be close with you (get to know you).

I can be affectionate and intimate with you, without loving you.

I can show you physical affection and be open with you, as far as who I am. We can bond and get to know each other, but I can do so without loving you.

I can be affectionate and intimate with you, while loving you, but not loving myself.

I can show physical affection, disclose selective information to you (reflected sense of self), love you, but not be secure with who I am and love myself.

Maybe the above can show a little clearer what scenarios run through my head, and why I might have been a little confused.... :)

AFFECTION ≠ LOVE ≠ RECIPROCITY ≠ INTIMACY

Ultimately, in order to have a long lasting relationship, you must be able to challenge yourself, your own beliefs, and have the courage to stand up to someone you care about (or love), in order to maintain your sense of self. Ironically, the author stresses over and over again, that as partners move away from other-validated intimacy and towards self-validated intimacy, the partners receive more validation and acceptance from the other, spontaneously.

I hope this helped some of you like it helped me.

Anastasia

Always remember: "You cannot truly love me without knowing me"

A letter to my friends, past and present

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 02:20:00 +0000

Hey lovely readers!

Today was an interesting day. Its not that I did anything in particular, or even did anything for that matter.. but interesting, none the less. With that said, I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching recently.

My birthday is coming up! (24 October for those of you wanting to get me a present) :) Now that I'm getting older, I use it as a time to look back over the last year and reflect on the journey. (Whereas years ago, I'd use it as yet another excuse to get obliterated drunk!) :)

A lot of you don't know everything that I've been though, the struggles, the accomplishments. The loves, the heartbreaks.

The happiness, joy and life... and the sadness, pain and strife.

I didn't think I would be where I am today. In both good and bad ways.

My 10 year reunion is coming up in November. These are things you probably want to know about me if you went to my high school:

I don't have a job.
I don't have a husband.
I don't have kids.
I don't own a house.
I don't have a car (a little hard on the island) :)
I don't have a boat.
I don't have expensive clothes.
I gain and lose weight all the time.
I live in a modest one bedroom condo in a 3rd world country.

There. Now I don't have to go to the reunion.

Here is a list of who I am:

I am passionate, intense, and caring.
I am a loving daughter, sister and friend.
I would do anything for any of my friends.
I am smart, witty, funny, and insightful.
I am empathetic, sensitive, and kind.
I am goofy, love to laugh and love making people laugh- even at my expense.
I am both sarcastic and serious, patient and impatient, independent, dependent, and codependent (haha), hot and cold.
I will always sublimate.

Unfortunately, the second list is much less important to a lot of people. And that's okay. I have met people along the way that value who I AM, rather than what I have.

I miss friends from home: those that have been there for me- through the ups and downs.

I miss my childhood friends I've grown apart from. The ones who I can call without talking for years, but pick up like the time never passed.
I miss my party friends, and hope they are all doing okay. Jesus, we had some crazy-fun times!
I miss my party friends I have now- those that I WISH I would have partied with... ;) (All of Bill W's friends...) You all have shown me that you love me, no matter who I am. You helped me build confidence back within myself to stand on my own in front of the world and proudly declare my place.
I miss the friends I have made in Belize that have moved away and may or may not come back. I might not see you ever again, but you were my friends for who I am. You liked me- for me. You might know me more than a lot of people.
And of course, I miss my family that will be there for me until each of their last breaths. And Todd, if you're reading this- you are in this category. :)

I've learned many things about myself, especially after moving to another country. I've learned a lot about life and others' perceptions. I've confirmed beliefs as well as expelled stereotypes about certain things.

I might not have many possessions, or things to brag about- but I have PEOPLE in my life that I am grateful for and experiences that have molded me.

Despite everything... the most important thing is to keep going. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep moving forward. Keep breathing. Take the days one at a time. Keep goals in sight, but not out of reach. And as "elementary school" as it sounds- Never give up.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Age is just an anomaly"

Just one of those days

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 20:15:00 +0000

Hey everyone,

You know those days where you just get up, and you don't feel awesome? Something just gets you...

Well, you guessed it...

That's today for me. I have something on my mind that is jamming me up, and its somewhat of an internal struggle. I'm trying to make myself feel better, but it really isn't working.

People say, "Just do something to distract you..."

Ok, so I've been working. A lot. Work work work- gotta fill the time. It helps pass the time.. but then I stop working, and there's the issue again. I feel that "distracting" myself is just another form of running from the issue.

So what else can I do?

If I sit there, and think about it, and try to resolve it... then I get sucked even further into the madness of "what ifs" and "I should haves". Furthermore, I make the situation worse by assigning and assuming meaning to something that might not have any...

Unfortunately, I know that nothing can immediately solve the issue. There is nothing I can do at this moment, but accept things as the way they are. I have no other option, unless I want to keep driving myself insane, or keep losing sleep.

There are some people, things and situations in my life that I cannot control... I have to accept things as the way they are and move on.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Acknowledging and accepting powerlessness is powerful"

Why not try?

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 23:39:00 +0000

Sunset on the Carib

It's Tuesday, you're probably counting down the minutes until you get off work from your crappy, unfulfilling job, getting ready to go home to a significant other, maybe a few crazy kids, and more stress. If you're single, you're probably going home to your lonely place, maybe a kid or two, or an animal that needs to be fed. Shampoo, rinse, repeat?

If someone asked you to describe your life in a few words, what words would you choose?

*** Really... THINK about it... which words would you choose?***

Consistent? Stressful? Predictable?

Do these words describe how you imagined your life?

I did something today that I thought I'd never ever ever ever ever ever do. I shared a video with you of me singing. This inspired me to try to do one thing a week (daily isn't realistic), to do something I've never done before- due to fear (singing), ability, or opportunity.

I don't ever want to reach that level of "complacency". I want to overcome fears and grow. I want to learn new things, pick up new hobbies. Find out things about myself that I never knew. I want to live more free-spirited. I want to enjoy life for everything it has to offer.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" (Shakespeare)

Probably your only opportunity to hear me sing.... ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 19:09:00 +0000

Hey everyone-

Sorry I've been on hiatus for a day, but it was nice to take a break! :)

Last night, with Hurricane Paula coming this way, I was doing last-minute supply shopping and didn't get around to writing. However- I do have a treat for you...

I've never done this---

This is me singing the song, "Skin" by Alexz Johnson. I don't do it any justice at all, but Joe encouraged me to post it.... (so if you hate it, blame him!)

***Hate-mail can be sent to Joeinbelize.com or by clicking HERE

MY VIDEO CAN BEEN SEEN here: MY YOUTUBE LINK

or if the hyperlink isn't working: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD7Mf6fIt4E

Anastasia

Always remember: "Life is boring without taking risks"

Day trip to Xcalak, Mexico!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 05:15:00 +0000

Hello my patient readers!!!!

9AM- This morning I awoke to an early early early call from my friend JOE. He called and asked me if I'd like to go on a day trip to Mexico, with our friends Jorge and Michelle of La Playa Lounge.

Originally, my first thought was- "NOOOO I just want to sleep!" I went to bed last night by 5am, so I hadn't been asleep for long when he called. However, I changed my mind.

I'm really glad I did.

We finally left for XCALAK, Mexico (population 400) at around 11am, as we are on "Belizean Time" and planned events don't start until at least an hour after the scheduled time.

Map for you :)

We spent about half of the trip (30 min or so) on the boat inside the Belize reef, but the other half was on open water. The waves were somewhat intense on the way there- we flew out of our seats a few times! The boat was almost completely out of the water at one point too! We arrived around 12pm in Xcalak, Quintana Roo, but 1pm Mexico time.

This is a view from the town, looking out to the Caribbean. Where we "parked" the boat.

Once we got there, we ate at the only restaurant open- Costa de Cocos. We ate delicious ceviche with bits of shrimp, fish and octopus, served with homemade chips and jabanero sauce. Following the ceviche, we ate chicken empenadas and beef soft tacos. Definitely worth the 2-3 hours we spent relaxing at the restaurant.

Afterward, we went on a stroll through the town.

My friends walking through Xcalak

Joe, Anastasia, and Dave walking through town


Another pic of the town

I LOVED the fact that there were volleyball nets everywhere. Talk about MY paradise!

After taking a short "walking tour" of Xcalak, these are the events that followed:

My friends were all thirsty again for MAS CERVESAS.
We came across a bar on the main street that was closed

Jorge pointing out the closed bar to Glenn on the left

We walked around the back to get the owner to open up
We got eaten alive by mosquitos
I almost got attacked by a random stray cat that jumped out of the stucco of a building in the back alley
The owner of the bar said he'd open up, but we had to walk back around to the front
Joe stepped in dog poop (Ok, he was millimeters away from it) YOU'RE WELCOME JOE.
Went inside the bar to hang out for another hour

Anastasia & Joe

We left back for San Pedro around 5pm, Mexico time.

On the way back, I saw the most amazing sunset I've ever seen!!! (This is the picture at the top of the page- HERE)

In addition to the most beautiful sky- one that looked as if it were on fire- we also had some hilarious moments. Those moments aren't mine to share, however, I'll probably post the pics and videos a little later. :)

Sunset on Ambergris Caye, Belize

Some of the most fun times of your life are the spontaneous opportunities. Don't miss out on creating wonderful memories!

Anastasia

Always remember: "You only have one chance at life- Live freely- Love deeply"

day trip to mexico

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 01:54:00 +0000

Hey friends,

Sorry about not posting yet today!

I actually JUST walked in the door from taking a day trip to Mexico!!!!

Just wanted to give you an update- but I still need to upload pics, and post them.

Stay tuned. Will try to post within the hour.

x x x

Anastasia

Thanks, but NO THANKS for your opinion!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 23:01:00 +0000

Hey everyone,

I haven't posted a "serious" post in a few days now, so I guess it's time for a more insightful one... ugh...

After returning last night from Ladies Night, I had a very serious discussion with my sister.

First, I seriously respect and love my sister for being able to put up with my madness and emotions for as long as she has. She is an amazing, patient person that knows how to disarm and disengage me from my usually overwhelming emotions.

Second, she and I spoke about handling criticism. I have the tendency to ask people for guidance, opinion and direction, then do what I want despite that advice. This is not to say that I don't take the advice into serious consideration, but I feel that most of the time, I would just like another opinion to consider regarding my options and how to handle a situation.

She sees this a little differently.

Her perspective on the way I handle situations is that I take personally the criticism, get defensive, hear what I want to hear or "tune out" what I don't want to hear, then do what I want anyway. So why should she even give me any advice if I react this way? Why should she even try to give me her opinion if I just "get mad" at what she has to say?

The worst part is, she's absolutely right.

So, how do you handle criticism?

According to the article, 11 Reasons You are Unable to Receive Criticism and How to Change That Negative to a Positive, these are reasons why we are unable to recieve criticism:

The critic’s motives are not always clear and shows no understanding of your aims and goals
The critic assumes the position that there is a universal standard, or method on which the criticism is based and the critic is the sole possessor of the ability to form that measurement
The critic shreds your self-esteem leaving you feeling inadequate, hopeless and plain stupid
Criticism that is destructive points at you, rather than to the any short fall of your project, or performance
The critic makes you feel you are an idiot and therefore deserve to be ridiculed
The critic has the attitude of being superior and smarter than you
Destructive criticism is always one sided, looking at only the negatives
The critic wants you to believe that the criticism must be accepted
It informs you of everything the critic believes is wrong, because you don’t have the ability to see it yourself
Criticism can be delivered in a snide, sarcastic, snarky, mocking, cynical, thoughtless, mean, spiteful, flippant, arrogant, dismissive, jealous, curt, or annoyed manner
The criticism will ‘put-you-in-your-place’ because you are getting ‘too-big-for-your-boots’.

If any of these are reasons why you reject the message's content, you have to keep in mind your critic. Does your critic have in mind your best interests? Do you trust this source?

For me, I keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results. She sees this, wants to offer methods to stop my madness, but because I am stubborn- I don't listen. I feel like maybe, the NEXT time, it will be different.

How do I accept criticism?

Before you even make that phone call or talk to anyone, do you genuinely want to know what they have to say? Is this a problem or issue where you REALLY WANT TO KNOW another opinion- even if it conflicts with what you want to hear?

Side note: If you just want to "bitch" and "complain" to someone, STOP RIGHT THERE. Don't pick up the phone, don't open your mouth. Do you want to be complained to? How do you feel when someone does this to you? I don't know about you, but if someone complains to me, especially over the same issue- over and over again- it gets annoying. Then, I want to offer them some kind of solution, so they stop bitching to me about the same thing. But, if you're stubborn like me, and you're still going to complain, preface by saying, "I just need to get this out to someone, and I don't know if I even want a "solution", but just give me 5 minutes."

However, if you seek advice, or your listener offers a suggestion, keep in mind these things:

Consider your source

Do they have your best interests in mind?
Are they trying to hurt you, or do they really want you to find a solution to your problem?
Keep in mind, YOU were the one seeking advice from THEM.

Put yourself in their shoes

What would YOU say to YOU?
Try to remove yourself from the situation and take the "Balcony Perspective" (Heifetz)

Stay calm

Am I overreacting?
Am I listening to what they have to say?
Am I breathing?
Pay attention to how you are reacting emotionally, and try to maintain composure.

LISTEN!

Am I instantly coming up with a rebuttal?
What are they REALLY saying? What is the content of the message?
Can I repeat what they said, either to another or to myself?

Criticism has the ability to mold us into better or worse versions of ourselves. Know who YOU are, but be open to suggestion. If you are doing the same thing over again, and it isn't working- it IS possible to do something different- to CHANGE unsuccessful attempts into new behaviors that lead to success. Be aware of of your shortcomings and work to improve upon them.

Are you ready and willing to change? Has "your way" been working?

Anastasia

Always remember: "Reality is one half of what you perceive of yourself and one half of what others perceive of you"

Commercial!

noreply@blogger.com (Anastasia) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 21:12:00 +0000

Hey everyone,

Last night was fun at La Playa Lounge! Wish you were there!!! I saw TacoGirl, and my amazing friends from GayTravelBelize.com! I'll be there again next Friday too, so hopefully those of you that are here in San Pedro that couldn't make it last night, and those on the mainland can come play! :) This is also one of the ONLY places that will be open next weekend, as everything will be closed for renovations... even Jaguars!! I'm giving you the social "heads up"!

Today, I woke up to another beautiful sunny day in the Caribbean! The breeze blew nicely as I walked to one of my favorite hang outs- D'Sea. They filmed their commercial today, and I was in it! You can see a pic HERE from the shoot! As soon as it's all finished, I'll be sure to post the completed commercial! It will turn out great, I'm sure... Because I'm in it, of course... ;) Haha, only kidding!!!

Either way, I'm working away, here at D'sea, with the Caribbean as my muse. (See above picture)

What inspires you? Do you have a source that fuels your creativity? Are you accomplishing the things you want in your life? Have you taken steps to follow through with those "new moon" goals you set?

You can do it. You can accomplish amazing things in your life. Have faith that things will fall into place, if you take the necessary action or the next indicated step. Stay true to yourself, who you are, what you believe in, and respect others.

Anastasia

Always remember: "Faith without works is dead"