Coco Goes Loco in the City...

Moving

2013-03-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

I have had some technical difficulties, hence in an effort to combat these issues I have jumped ship. Please continue to check me out. I have placed the link below.

http://cocogoeslocointhecity.wordpress.com/

Love Coco.xx

Loc Journey Month 8

2013-03-06T13:18:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

I'm sorry I have been M.I.A I wanted to come to you when I had fresh exciting pictures. Even though I haven't been posting I have been keeping up with y'all and your individual hair journeys. Especially you NL

Feb 2013 At Reggae Beach, Ocho Rios

Chillin On Grans Veranda Feb 2013

Darker at Reggae Beach 2013

Henna dyed hair black

Coco Kisses, Don't forget to comment

Why are we Replacing Reality TV with Reality?

2013-01-22T15:55:00.000-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

Modern society has so many antidotes that encourage us to battle through the reality of tough times. The music we listen to, the films and television we love most often depicts a triumph over adversity story that we either identify or empathise with. Personally, I'm sick of human suffering especially the kind that we inflict on ourselves. (Yes, the season of goodwill is truly finished in my house)

This story makes even the hardest heart melt

Does this mean that I’m perfect and without flaws; you ask? Hell no but like many others I am opting to try my best most of the time. When this fails I have a tantrum and rant to friends or read something soothing and inspirational or meditate. Does any of this crap work you ask? Some- times and when it doesn’t I find sleep really does, I have found on many occasion when I just do not have the answers taking to my bed has stopped me from going over the edge.

I always struggle to do it, but this practice always makes me feel better

For this reason I try to limit the amount of white noise I allow into my space. Every-time I turn on the box after eliminating the talent shows the only thing left Is Dr. Phil counselling a family, or some other television host explaining to us how to live debt free or a healthier lifestyle with diet and exercise when the truth is we already know this sheeeeeeeeeeet! We all know if we eat more that we move our skinny jeans will hitch on our bum crack revealing a muffin top of fat that we tried to hide unsuccessfully with a longer top. We all know if we spend more that we earn we will end up in a debt and we know if we cheat, lie, have a drug or alcohol misuse problem that the people in our lives will be affected negatively by our behaviour. This is not a critique of any individual battling with the aforementioned issues I just wish that these people were given the help quietly and with dignity instead of having to turn their lives into a three ring circus to be eligible for assistance. I have my own weight/ money/ relationship crap to dissect without dreaming of Christina from the middle of nowhere Texas who is 20 and is not sure of the identity of her father and is battling bulimia.

Now the truth is Government has us believe that we can’t help everybody so if we have limited resources for assistance why are we not tackling societal problems with more sophistication than a talk/reality show? The platform of television news and the media for years now has become no more that a comical and easy to digest run down of events that we are allowed to view. Why can I see adults having their colon cleansed on a television show that is not about health. That’s why I lurve blogs as they provide an alternative to the stale presentation of traditional storytelling and through this medium I can learn what life is like for the victims of the Tsunami years later or what an aid worker experienced when they went to Haiti. Why are we so addicted to recreating reality through TV? It’s distracting us from real life.

Please Comment

What Does Your Jobs Say About You?

2013-01-09T11:32:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

My friends and I are the type of people that have to sell our time in exchange for a wage. So we have often discussed what we would do if we won the lottery. As well as what we would be willing into do if we were really down on our luck. A topic that I believe is particularly poignant at this time of year.

We understand as a society that when you have a talent or a skill that can be used to make a living in what is deemed a legitimate business you are less likely to end up working in an industry that society deems less desirable for example the sex industry, street pharmaceuticals or any thing ilegal. Legitimacy is what makes us seemingly rational lots spend money that we do not have on an education and networking. We spend money on prep schools, followed up by fraudulently giving grannies address just so little Ruby/ Alfie can go to that particular school, college and then university In an effort to get our kids mixing with a certain kind of families and gaining the skills of legitimacy.

The wheels of class separation caused by material wealth ensure the distance between the have something’s and the have much less group is easily distinguished.We all tend to get super judgemental when analyzing a person’s means of employment. But let’s face it not all of us can be doctors, lawyers and analysts some of us will be fast food, supermarket, and refuse collection workers. During my time at university I had a cleaning job and it saved my ass more than once. But I also know that some of the people in my social circle made me feel bad for taking the job and the people that I worked for treated me badly which made a nice little gig awful. It was if it meant brandishing a mop meant you had zero intelligence. Many of the people that I saw daily at work failed to even acknowledge my presence and often did disgusting things with the expectation that I would deal with it and all for minimum wage. So I really understand why some people are like hell no, give me a pole or maybe I will just juggle some weed till things improve. I think most of us have as must principles as our situation allows. The vast majority of us in a bind would do what we had to.

People at all levels of society commit crime but we seem to only scorn those at the lower end of the scale. For example housing benefit thieves will be punished to the full extent of the law. While civil servants who clearly abuse the expenses system and use public money inappropriately to clean their moat do not even loose their jobs. Where is the justice?

Please comment

Mini Hair Update (Six Months Loc'd)

2013-01-02T09:08:00.002-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

Its late, I know but I have been dancing, and enjoying all that Jamaica has to offer. Thank-you Mr. Wray and Nephew. Whoop, whoop!

To all of you that show love to this page. Happy New Year.xxxx

Me on my Grans Veranda

Walking about my hood

Freshly Interlocked

Looosed

Love Coco

Seasons Greetings. I Think?

2012-12-03T08:12:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

With the holiday season fast approaching I have been able to relinquish my usual feeling of dread for this time of year in my current locale. My dislike for Christmas has only recently been superseded by the exorbitant prices charged at dinner parties this season requires people to attend. Work dinners, New- Year dinners, I just got a new dog dinners, am I the only one who is tired of the boring ass dinners?

Recently went to a friend birthday dinner of course I want to support a friend on their special day but the venue always seems to boast the latest in posh nosh. Which means I will be stumping up cash to eat chips; again as the menu rarely has anything that I can consume. (I’m a fussy eater) Now I work hard so when its time to get social I would much rather cut loose. It does not have to be a club (although I love to dance) we can go to a nice bar, or a restaurant that provides casual eats with a nice atmosphere or to any-thing involving live music, concerts are my absolute favourite pass time.

Drinks on Londons Southbank. Love it!

Why are these dinners becoming more and more expensive may I ask? Do people think that in these hard times I want to part with fifty quid for one meal? Then they want you to drink and dance all night in the downstairs lounge area that doubles up as dance floor after eleven, which is tricky at £8 a drink when you have just spent your weekly food budget on chips. Any-hoooooooooo, you join every-body at the fake posh dinner and you do it because you love you friend. In the name of social etiquette you are then required to interact with individuals that you only ever see once a year at the same friend’s soiree. The prospect of which is worse than the food. Most of these people are perfectly nice but you really wouldn’t choose to spend time with them because their simply not your bag. Even the thought of networking is not enough to make me more enthused.

Whenever I’m with non friends at these sorts of events especially the work Christmas lunch people tend to get the peacock, shiny version of me. You know what I mean; its like I’m pre- programmed to start giving the world the best of me routine. Depending on my audience will depend on how I interact but no matter how I try to be myself I can’t help feeling like a fraud. As I would much rather be some-where holed up behaving badly with my real friends rather than discussing the renovation project/ new flat. The best mortgage providers and what nursery they have signed up young Florence or Egypt for at three months old. I find myself joining in this obnoxious verbal foreplay when all I really just want to do is scream I don’t know you well enough to care. As a result I do everything I can to avoid such social scenario’s but at time when it cannot be avoided I place myself with the one person that gets on my nerves the least. (Usually the cleaner)

My Loc Journey Month 5

2012-11-27T10:08:00.003-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

There is absolutely nothing to report as far as my hair goes. This month has been one of those same ole, same ole experiences. I'm not sure if it's grown much this month. But I did head to the salon as per usual for my hair to be interlocked. I'm still loving this form of grooming and plan to continue with the once monthly salon visits.

Me mean mugging as usual

From watching You Tube and reading other blogs I realise that this is the blah phase before the magic happens.

Okay at least I tried to smile

Coco Kisses

The Spunky Coconuts Pumpkin Pie Recipe

2012-11-20T08:24:00.000-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

Those of you that know me personally understand the depths of my sweet tooth. I saw this recipe on the urban bush babes blog and I thought it would be nice.

While I am not a vegan I do try to incoporate the minimum amount of animal products when cooking/baking. For the record I am not a baker I have been known to try. But not too successfully

Pumpkin Pie
(Egg-free, Gluten-free, No-bake, Dairy-free)

http://www.thespunkycoconut.com/

Last night I was like a kid on Christmas Eve. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about the egg-free no-bake pumpkin pie I had mentioned I was making on the Spunky Coconut Facebook Page . Would it turn out? Would it taste good? I have to tell you I have been trying to make an egg-free pumpkin pie for three years now, with no success... Until now =)

This morning I woke up before sunrise, anxious to see my pie. I laid in bed trying to forget about it and go back to sleep. It didn't work. Finally it was light enough outside. So I crept down the stairs in my robe, took the pumpkin pie from the fridge and cut it with a knife. I started getting excited. It looked right... I tasted it... Oh, joy! Delish!

And now I can hardly wait to share it with you! So without further ado...

Pumpkin Pie

Egg-free, Gluten-free, No-bake, Dairy-free

Pie Crust:

Add to bowl:

3 tbsp flax seed meal OR 1.5 tbsp Chia Seed meal

1/4 cup plus 2 tbsp applesauce

1 tbsp apple cider vinegar

8 drops vanilla liquid stevia

1 tbsp honey

1/4 cup coconut oil, liquified

Mix with electric mixer.

Add:

1 cup almond meal flour

1/2 cup coconut flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder (Grain-free Baking Powder Recipe)

Mix again.

Roll out the dough.

(I used a deep ceramic pie dish for this pumpkin pie)

See: Video on how to roll out and transfer this dough. Or flatten the dough out slightly, so it's about 6 inches wide, then put it in the dish, and press it the rest of the way out with your hands.

(I also lightly grease and flour my pie dish first, so the crust doesn't stick.)

Bake the crust at 350 degrees for about 12 to 14 minutes.

Allow the crust to cool.

Egg-free, Dairy-free, No-bake Filling:

Add to blender or food processor:

2 cups cooked pumpkin (I used one that I cooked from our garden)

1 cup coconut milk

1/3 cup coconut sugar

1/8 to 1/4 tsp vanilla liquid stevia (one or two droppers-full, or to your taste)

1 tsp vanilla

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

3 tbsp Gelatin that has been completely dissolved into 1/4 cup boiling water

If you sub agar powder for the gelatin, please let us know, and how you did it in the comments! I'm guessing you would need half as much agar powder as gelatin. Thanks!

Puree.

Pour into baked crust. Refrigerate overnight.

Random Hair Pics (baby locs)

2012-11-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

Some random hair pics

Freshly Washed

That Crazy Bitch Sandy (Hurricane Part 2)

2012-11-12T10:09:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

As promised, the second installment of my Hurrican Sandy experience.

As the days went on and on I began to wonder when and if we would ever get electricity to blow wow. It became my daily routine to get up and get out and charge all my electrical equipment and use the internet in buildings that were using generators; and buy some food. (non perishables)

The electricity situation was compounded by the fact that water could not be pumped into the system as the pump is electric. During these days while in taxis and in shops I would hear people talking about the water situation which was a bigger issue than the lack of electricity. I mean how do you flush, take a shower, bubble a pot? I found out. You do not flush when you urinate. You do not wash your clothes at home but travel a few miles to the local laundry mat (all town centres had their supply restored within a few days or used a generator) All sorts of meat was being seasoned, cooked and consumed at a frenzied rate in my home and that of my neighbours. As a non meat eater I was left pretty hungry after the supplies ran low but I easily transitioned into an unhealthy diet of bulla cake, spiced bun and canned goods. There was a lot of food around as it all blew off the trees. So ask me why I was eating this crap. 1, I struggle to cook small portions, but usually store my concoctions in the fridge or freezer. 2, I didn’t even recognise most of the food being offered. As a fussy eater with the upset of the storm it was all too much so I reverted to child like eating habits.

Vybz Kartel with Bulla cake

The dark nights (from around 6pm) seemed to quiet the neighbourhood activities. No random neighbours stopping by to share news, no loud dance hall music playing, no old dudes playing dominoes outside little neighbourhood stores etc... As for me I was all about talking on the phone when Digicel was actually bloody working and of course sleeping. I must look like ive had a face lift the amount of shut eye I have had. One thing this storm this has taught me is that next time mi hear seh storm ah come. I will be making sure I have food, candles, kerosene, matches and a strong cutie to protect me from the elements. This weather and the candle light should be utilised. Ya heard!!!

This is the perfect storm music

The overall thing that sandy has highlighted to me is the monopoly that the islands electric company JPS has over the island electrical supply.The Jamaican government only own around a twenty percent share in the business therefore it seems absurd after residing in cities where utility companies fight it out for your business and your cash that they should be allowed to run a service that can only be decribed as shockingly bad; and expensive to boot. I want to be able to put several companies into a price comparison website in order to secure the best deal. Further, why are the power cables above ground in a country that boasts storm seasoon for six months of the year? Why haven’t we got solar power? Why in 2012 did my family have to wait 15 days to receive a return of electricity service. Yes we know there is no money. but charge the customer. you do anyways. and at least this way it would actually be efficient.

What a bunch of theives

That Crazy Bitch Sandy (The Hurricane) Pt:1

2012-11-12T09:34:00.000-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

I decided to spend a little longer than a holiday in Jamaica during the storm season, so tell me why I was shocked when hurricane Sandy came along and wreaked havoc in my new community. Personally when I heard about the impending storm I was not overly concerned as I had not experienced a tropical storm I really had no idea of what to expect. I chillaxed with family while we discussed the possibility of the storm and what that could mean.

At around 4:00pm the electricity went out. Despite the fact that the skies were dark and it had been raining heavily for two days with extreme winds; for me storm watch didn’t begin until the power cut out. As the evening progressed so did the storm y conditions and we retreated from the veranda where we had been watching. It felt cinematic and slightly unreal but the fact that it was too dangerous to be outside made the experience very real.

As the night went on and the storm worsened I felt less secure in our house. As we huddled around the battery operated radio and candle light while listening to the news of Bog Walk, St Catherine and Portland were experiencing extreme flooding. Fisherman and folk residing in costal regions were being warned by the government to take precautionary measures and leave there vessels, equipment and personal effects as secure as possible and retreat to safer locations. This created a big furore as people were afraid that their absence would encourage thieves. People who lived in properties that were unlikely to endure Sandy were advised to head to shelters. Many had no choice but to do so.

I was woken up by the sounds of Sandy around 11 pm. I had been sleeping for some time since the lights had been out since around 4:00pm and both the land line and Digicel networks had failed let’s face it there wasn’t any-thing else to do. As I could hear the zinc on the roof on the extension of my family home start to sway and the mango tree limb was lashing against the property I started to feel increased anxiety about my safety as the weather persons who had become our only source of information and comfort told us that this level one hurricane would have left the island by now. My unease was compounded by the darkness of not only my house but all the neighbouring properties and the street. The following morning after a night of crashes, bangs and other sounds that I could not identify the morning revealed the devastation that had been left behind. Trees were uprooted the electricity lines were left exposed and tangled on the ground.

Many shop owners were left devastated by flooding. Peoples home were ravaged and left without roofs flooded or both. We were lucky as most people in our community only lost food trees, and experienced some minor flood damage. Still the community started to move toward a clean-up effort almost immediately and we did the same. The thing that struck me was the independence of the little community I was staying in. Had I been in London I would have expected to see the increased presence of the emergency services and government employees visibly moving around and I did see these individuals maybe a week after the initial events but in the days immediately after the storm it was individuals that were chopping up tress that had become an obstruction in the roads and making the way clear for cars.

Fridays Thoughts (Random Blog)

2012-11-09T10:24:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps

I was chillaxing under the Caribbean sun (are you jelly?) while reading that fantastic blog The Daily Love.
(thedailylove.com)

One particular sentence just jumped out at me. Without self belief, self help won't work. Damn those people over there are soooooooooooooo talented. Just in case you were wondering I am a faithful groupie of this here blog.

This sentence has had me thinking, evaluating, and re-evalutiing all week.

Any of you experiencing a similar Oprah moment? If you have read, experienced, or watched something powerful this week. Share, share share.

Me being thoughtful? Okay,okay me with rum in me doing weired smile

Coco kisses .xx

Novembers Frugal Faves

2012-11-07T09:42:00.001-08:00

Hiya Peeps,

This month will officially mark the beginning of Frugal Fave’s my new self imposed budget will mean that for the foreseeable future I will be working with favourite things that cost under a tenner.

1. The Body Shop Vanilla fragrance oils. This oil smells divine and cost around £4. They are not as harsh as air fresheners but the house still smells good. I have The Body Shop burner but any one will work fine. I always tend to buy a few when The Body Shop has an offer.

2. The Daily Love. This blog was introduced to me by my home girl V and had become an essential part of my day to day routine. If I do not have access to internet for some reason or other I miss it so much. TheDailyLove@thedailylove.com

3. Whats App. I love this phone app. It has become one of my most favourite things since my recent relocation. As it keeps me up to the minute with the girls and I really feel like I’m a part of their daily lives. www.whatsapp.com

4. Barry M make-up line. I especially enjoy the lipsticks and the nail polishes. The colour range is really vibrant and varies from dark and moody to light and lovely. The new lines are always bang on trend and give even the most cash strapped fashionista up to the minute make- up options.

5. Organic Root Stimulator edge gel. This stuff is a really nice alternative to gel and it doesn’t feel greasy after application. Please be mindful that this product worked amazingly well in the UK however if you hail from warmer climes or you want to add it to your holiday stash please note that I have had less success with this product in the heat.

6. Klorane make-up remover, I have it on good authority that this stuff is the truth. Please give me feedback on this.

£8

7. H&M I love this store for multiple reasons. The sales are always really good value for money. Like most stores that carry budget friendly clothing that also boast good quality. You do need to be aware that the quality does not stretch across all the ranges. Their holiday clothes and basics ranges are very decent. I particularly like their graphic tee’s. Parker macs. Their lint rollers go for only £0.99. Their knickers are super cute (never tried the bras) and I like their make up brushes as a cheap alternative to superdrug. And who can forget their Versace range last season.

8. Dove speed stick. This deodorant is so nice it smells good goes on powdery and does not make your black t-shirts look like a skating rink. Magic.

9. I just bought some-one special a card from www.moonpig.com. While I haven’t seen the card myself they were thrilled with the results. I have seen others that I ordered and I have always been pleased. Please be mindful that you do need more than the 24 hour delivery time quoted. As it may come in the time frame but often does not so it's always worth giving at least two days for arrival.

10. Johhny Cochrans Autobiography borrowed this book from my local library and I found it to be a really It to be a really good read. It is written in clear but interesting language that makes it a page turner therefore do not be intimidated by the size. As I knew nothing behind the brilliant legal career of Mr. Cochran it was eye opening but not shocking or scandalous read. So the gossip hunter may not be impressed.

My Loc Journey (Month 4)

2012-11-03T08:40:00.001-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

This month has probably been my hardest hair month to date in my loc journey thus far...

This my go to look at the moment

So last month I journeyed to Jamaica to some extended time here. Every-time I have spent extended periods away from the city one of the secondary considerations will be where will I get my hair/nails/ waxing done. This was especially true during the relaxed years. Thankfully I feel that this particular hair journey had freed me from the burden of seeking out a good stylist before my next process is due. Not to mention the invaluable information provided by other blogs, and You Tube. So in my last update I had visited my beloved salon Locstafari with the intention to maintain my hair myself once in Jamaica.

Within days of arriving the heat reeked havoc on my hair. I sweat from the head at the best of times but during those first few week here I felt like lost a 5^th of my body weight to the heat. My hair responded by shrinking like crazy. So hair that could previously go into a pony tail comfortably couldn’t any more my situation was compounded by the fact that the natural oil that I used liberally and successfully in London made my hair smell rancid in the heat. So i was forced to wash my hair a week and a half after my maintenance.

Side View

Front View

Now because my hair was natural for around two years prior to my loc journey I thought I knew my texture pretty well. Only to find that hair that I would have previously called 4b with some 4a in places seems to have to responded to the reduced manipulation of locking and the soft Jamaican water by becoming softer than ever. My hair has decided that in this environment it only needs water on a daily basis and the occasional use of oils but no more than once a week. My hair also has to be washed more frequently due to the heat. At the moment i’m working with every other week. So now my roots are crazy due to the softness and look like I have a a two inch mini afro with my baby locs clinging on to the ends. Im not going to lie my attempts at re-twist with the Organic Root Stimulator gel did improve there appearance but i was sick of the bull- shitting around with my hair for ages every-time I had to go out especially for business or a big social event. I succumbed to vanity and visited a stylist recommended to me by a friend. I did something that I thought I would never would. I bypassed the palm roll method due to the heat and humidity and interlocked my entire head. I love it. It looks neat and tidy and will look good for around three to four weeks rather than the two weeks max from my beloved palm roll method. it cost me around £20.

a few days after interlocking

Please comment. Your support is keeping me smiling

Are You Good in Bed?

2012-10-29T10:15:00.001-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

Historically the heterosexual relationship dynamic has placed the burden of sexual performance on the brothers; unless the lady in question is in sales of course. Men have been expected to pin point where all the erogenous zones are on the female body and then deliver the right amount of stimulation balanced with penetration to get the lady in question off. Some men are able to manage the balancing act better than others but according to my sources many of you are not doing the thing right. Erectile dysfunction is the number one complaint amongst the ladies whereas the gents quote laziness as their biggest gripe. Now since my panel was made up of the under forties crew I am baffled by our inability to get sexy.

Bey on top

Every woman has been privy more than once to the whole girth or length debate. Not to mention; he ain’t that big but... good lawd he can work it/eat it. But it never occurred to me to wonder what the brothers were saying about us. The reviews are not good apparently large pockets of women think that all they have to do is show up and assume the position; brothers say they are left wondering what was learned in previous relationships. The biggest turn off is an unwillingness to perform anything other than the basics. I touched on this issue a few months back when discussing the role of pornographic material in our sex lives.

However month after month y’all have been filling my inbox with dialogue that highlights a gender based shift in modern sexual relationships; changing society’s expectations and our ideas surrounding what we consider good sex. More than ever women are expected to suck it/ video it/double it up and skin it out. But not just in committed relationships where people feel safe and comfortable but even in the most casual of link ups. I know I’m not the only one who’s received a crazy video on their smart phone of some hood porn stars gone viral. Now I’m not the sexy police but I’m not sure how one ends up filming one of these videos when we all know how some men just have to show the world what a boss they are between the sheets. Not to mention the bitter girlfriend/ boyfriend that wants to create a fuss Mr Vegas any-one?) How does any- one feel comfortable making such a video outside the trust of a committed relationship? Furthermore when did the memo go out that all women should love anal, toss salads, enjoy bondage and group love as an opening act. Call me old fashioned but I really like the idea of saving some things for some-one special. One of my readers who inspired this article told me how frustrated she had become with dating as more than one of her recent boy toys wanted to engage in explicit phone calls before date three. I wonder if this woman’s reluctance to engage in a little talk would be considered lazy or boring.

Every man I have ever spoken to about sex has expressed his need to prove that he is a stamina daddy especially during the early days when the relationship is still new. Nothing could be worse for a man’s ego than to be labelled weak or an unsatisfying lover. We need look no further than the male performance enhancements available in the back of your monthly magazine to understand the pressure. Not to mention the many strong back juices, Ginseng and Viagra. So if all these products are on the market there should not be a soft penis anywhere. But if both sexes are expressing sexual dissatisfaction could it just be that our sex live are representative of our overall relationships with each other

Readers are convinced that a mixture of reality television and black music are responsible for the increased pressure. The truth is that every couple of years sexually explicit tune comes out that we are all singing despite ourselves (Remember the whisper song?) Smart phones and internet access en masse have meant that most people can check out the visual naughty like never before but we all need to remember is these folks are ACTORS. And emulating them does not make you good in bed it just makes you an unpaid porn star. Please understand that I am not scorning the individual sex acts but im just wondering if we have taken a step back. All this chit chat does leaves me wondering what kind of bedroom personality makes an individual good in bed?

I wanna find out

Are You Lonely?

2012-10-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

I have just been reading the words of another blogger Nickisha Brunson of the Urban Bush Babes who recently moved State to follow her now husband. Ending their two year long distance relationship and beginning their life together as a married couple. After I had finished gushing over their love story the thing that resonated with me was that she had left behind friends, family and a job for love. Which is all good but I’m positive Mrs. Brunson and her sexy new husband will help each other through the transition period. But I can’t help wondering if she feels lonely? I know we have Facebook, Skype, Tango, Whatsapp, Instant messenger and email to keep us connected but how can these tools replace a hug, eye to eye conversation and that vital participation in some-one’s life. You know that feeling you get when you really hug someone and you can smell their individual scent. Nothing can replicate that.

Nikisha Bruson of the UBB on her wedding Day

Loneliness seems to be a consequence of modern lifestyle choices that so many of us make, yet it seems that this topic is still taboo. Its like an admission of loneliness makes you saddo. More than ever we are called to move for jobs, love, academic pursuits etc.... In the last five years I have become aware of the emotion both in others and myself. As our need to connect with each other is no longer as easy or prioritised as it once was; how does one cope?

I used to think of loneliness only affected the older folks but now I realise that loneliness does not discriminate and people from all age and stages are affected by loneliness. Some are lonely for old friendships, family members while many want a relationship. We live in a culture that constantly tells us that we deserve the kinds of friendships that Oprah has, and a relationship like Will and Jada which informs us not settle. The numerous online dating sites, speed dating events and crazy romantic comedies that cover this topic are testimony to the fact that most of us want to connect but have unrealistic expectations left us cold.

I know a very attractive woman who has bravely stepped out of an unhappy marriage after ten years. While the disappointment at the demise of the relationship has been sad; the thing that this woman really emits is loneliness. Which is quickly gaining momentum into something else like desperation which is never sexy. The thing that has been so interesting about home girl is that she has it all financial stability, career, beautiful home and plenty of friends.This has not stopped her feeling a deep vacuum for the thing that she no longer has. As a result she is now dating unsuccessfully. Her recent choices in men would have never even gotten her number prior to her divorce which has resulted in her current battle with low self esteem and loneliness. The men she decides to date on some level feel her inner turmoil and like all vulnerable people unless you are very lucky opportunists will inevitably take advantage of those who are willing to compromise for what they believe they want and need.

How to Fall on Your Face—with a Smile Fr: the O.W.N Network

2012-10-18T12:27:00.000-07:00

How to Fall on Your Face—with a Smile

After years of looking at every opportunity as a chance to fall flat on her face, Valerie Monroe learns to grab life by the banister.

By Val Monroe

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Photo: Thinkstock

As a French major in college, I had the opportunity to work as a nanny for a wealthy French family. I don't remember the details exactly, but I do remember that they lived in what seemed like a palatial townhouse in Manhattan, had several homes in Europe, and planned to spend the summer traveling, child—and nanny—in tow. Whatever the difficulties or challenges of accompanying this particular family might have been, the chance to travel widely throughout Europe was not only exciting but also unavailable to me any other way at the time. Plus I adored kids, and was planning to teach. It seemed a great fit. And yet I was afraid to take the job, afraid the family wouldn't like me, afraid I would be lonely, afraid I wouldn't be able to care for the child well, afraid I'd miss my boyfriend and my family. So I stayed home that summer, living in my parents' house and working in an office at a perfectly nice, decently paying, perfectly boring job. To keep myself amused, I read novels set in Paris and Venice, wondering what it would be like to go there. Time after time in the years that followed, various opportunities shined on me, lighting the way to potential adventure, but my fearfulness stretched out before me like a shadow, dimming the prospects.

The strange thing is, if I were thrown into a situation in which there might actually be something to be afraid of—a sinking canoe, to choose a random example, or a building fire—I know that I would deal with it well, not lose my head or become paralyzed with anxiety but take care of business, be effective in the moment. I've handled things that prompted people to say, "That must have been incredibly scary," though I didn't feel overwhelmingly afraid at all. What, then, is the nature of my fearfulness? If I had to give it a name, I would call it "What if...," because it derives all its power from the possibilities of what might happen at some point in the future and not what's happening right now.

I can see how What if... might have been more useful a long time ago. In fact, I remember considering the idea of sliding down a banister in the house where I grew up—I must've been around 3, because the banister seemed very high off the ground—and thinking, "Fun! Long ride! Fast! New!" Then: "But what if when I get to the bottom, I fall off the end?" Which I certainly would have done had I followed through, with painful and injurious results. The trouble is that somehow as I matured, asking What if... became a way of introducing every possible disaster that could happen, no matter how unlikely. Falling off the end became, in my mind, a probable result even when it wasn't. And thinking about that, I began to want to avoid asking the question because it evoked so much anxiety. So I sought the comfortable and the familiar rather than the exciting and the exotic. It was easy, it was even joyful and delightful (as the comfortable and familiar can be), but it was rarely challenging in a way that leads you to live your fullest life.

A while back, I was offered a job. Supported contentedly by my freelance writing work, very cozily ensconced in my flexible schedule, I didn't think I'd be interested in a full-time position that would require me to show up at an office every day. But: I was an avid reader of the magazine (the one you're reading) where the position was available; I had deeply admired the talent and integrity of the staff; and the job required that I learn about a field—the beauty industry—about which I knew very little. All positives. And yet. I was afraid to take it, afraid the staff wouldn't like me, afraid I would be lonely, afraid I wouldn't be able to do the job well, afraid I'd miss the ease and familiarity of my freelance life. I recognized it as the same fearfulness I'd felt more than 50 years ago, playing out in a different way. When I thought of the possibilities that might come with the job—Fun! A long ride! Fast-paced! New!—my heart leapt. But of course, then: What if...? The leaping turned to pounding. This time, through the racket, I simply said yes, I'll do it. It finally seemed more painful not to take the risk than to take it. If I fell off the end? I'm a big girl now; I thought I could handle it. I imagined my fearfulness as a scrim fluttering between me and the unknown. I would try walking through it.

On my first day at the office (after a sleepless night), I expressed my anxiety to one of my new colleagues. "I'm really scared I'm not going to be able to do this job," I told her. "I feel as if I don't know anything about anything."

"And if you can't do it?" she said.

"Then," I said, "I guess I'll slink out of here in shame." She seemed to understand the depth of my unease without making me feel that it was justified. Then she patted me on the arm. "It's always good to have a plan," she said.

When I submitted my first shot at a photo caption (just a caption!), it was quickly returned to me with "cliché" scrawled across the top of the page. Yikes! I had my plan, of course. But slink out in shame? I didn't think so. At least not without another try. And—damn!—another. Finally: "perfect." In 30 years, I've never had a job I've enjoyed more, that has pushed me more or offered richer opportunity. The possibilities I thought might materialize are even more interesting, more exciting than I'd imagined. I'm still butting up against fearfulness at almost every turn. But now, when it feels right, to the din of my pounding heart, I walk through it.

How Young is too Young?

2012-10-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

I was told last night by a very special person that young men are en vogue. Whenever I see a significant age difference (10 years plus) between a man and a woman in a relationship where the woman is the older partner I can’t help thinking what a lot of work. I know these thoughts reek of ageism but as I mature It’s really hard for me to rationalise why any woman would want to put forth the additional effort this sort of relationship will inevitably require.

As they age I’m guessing that she must feel increasing pressure to keep that body tight and the clothes trendy yet tasteful. I remember seeing Usher and Tomika for the first time and I couldn’t help thinking that She is a beautiful woman; but standing next to him, she looks like his aunt. Had she been on the arm of say...Blair Underwood or Morris Chestnut she would have just been beautiful, don’t you think?

Usher and Tameka in happier times

Of course there are always exceptions to the rule remember the ‘You Got it Bad’ music video where Usher and Chilli showcased their love to the world. Even though she is quite a bit older than him together they looked like they matched actually I thought she was a bit hotter than him. Just the way I like it. (Wow Usher really is the grown woman’s boy toy)

Wow

Alas I fear with a man more than 10 years my junior would require an awful lot of love and support to enable him the freedom of personal growth without guilt. What about starting a family does your partner forgo the choice of having children (think Ashton and Demi). Or do you start knocking em out like a woman on death row ala Mariah Carey and risk fatherhood before he is truly ready? Then there’s the money I really do not want to pay for everything. I’m not bothered about fancy stuff but I would like to live in a home that both parties can contribute to. Go on holidays, and not feel bad about it. But i'm not going to lie even I enjoyed Vivica Fox and 50 Cent saga.

Mariah and Nick Seem happy

I am forced to admit the younger man has plenty to offer. Let’s face it a good guy, is a good guy at any age.

Your thoughts on this please

Are You There Yet?

2012-10-11T10:58:00.002-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

Every year when my birthday approaches I become introspective trying to ascertain if I am making the moves necessary to get the most out of this journey called life. We have all been in situations where our lives require us to do something different. Shake it up a little bit, in order to be motivated to live life to the full or as Oprah would say live your best life.

More often than not the action that is required by us can seem so breathtakingly huge (this is relative) we can become frozen by fear. This fear will show up in our lives looking like obsolete friendships, careers that no longer fit and of course the lovers that we have outgrown. Maybe the actions required are small but important tasks like beginning an exercise regime, updating your wardrobe, having a clear out of your living/mental space. All of which can give us the confidence to make much bigger life changes. Like, finally seeking therapy, starting that dream business or taking that trip of a lifetime that we always dreamed of but never quite got around to.

Personally I despise change I usually go through the process the same way every time. By kicking and screaming literally and figuratively; crying and boo hooing on all of my peeps shoulders and telephone lines. My friend J always says that change is one of the few things in life that is guaranteed. I hate to admit that she has a point, but how do you go through life altering transition with grace, humility and maturity and move on to the next? Especially when it is really uncomfortable or one of those necessary changes that you had no plan or interest in making but life has insisted otherwise. Your refusal could run the risk of your life becoming stagnant or worse.

Some people seem to glide through life without ever looking uncomfortable while others like me are seemingly always going through one existential crisis or another. When I emerged from the discomfiture of puberty I was certain that I was a woman as my body and my chronological age told me so (I was a very late bloomer). Now, many a moon later why do I still feel like I’m waiting for the sophistication of adulthood to kick in? One by One my friends seem to be doing the things that signal maturity and I can’t help thinking.... Am I there yet? Then I look at the evidence; it's obvious that I still have a ways to go. Still I give thanks to the universe that I was born in this era rather than earlier periods where my fate as a female would have already been sealed.

Please comment

October Faves

2012-10-11T10:32:00.001-07:00

Hiya Peeps

In the spirit of being economical I have not been buying much lately. Hence the lack of monthly faves. Going forward my faves will mostly consist of things that cost less than £10. Of course I will include the lovely stuff I got from my final blow out for this month’s edition to keep my fashionista’s satisfied. Alas this is the end of an era (for now)

The Final blowout

Diesel Jeans

I love this brand they hug my body in all the right places even when I rock the loose styles like the boy fit my bum still looks super sexy when supported in these jeans. I buy most of my jeans in TK Maxx or in the on line sales where the out of season, brand name jeans, retail at really good prices i’m talking under £50.

Mac Studio Finish Concealer

The colour I use is NW45 and this stuff is really lovely. I apply with my fingers just under my brow bone to create the illusion of perfect brows. As the colour is exactly the same as my brow bone, it is the perfect choice. As an added bonus it has SPF.

Mac Penultimate Eye Liner Liquide

I chose to go for the Rapid Black. I really like this liner as the pen makes the application super simple and the colour is super dark and rich. This product is ideal for the liquid eye liner novice as you do not have to master the tricky inkwell to achieve the look. (Bravo)

Mac Lipstick

Girl About Town is the shade. Sexy is the colour. This is not for the shy and retiring. This particular shade which is a darkish but strong pink is a statement lip for those days when you do not want to do the all out strong red siren; but neither do you want to be a wallflower. I loooooooove this lipstick.

However I will admit that my traitorous heart has recently taken me over to the Lancôme counter where I was given some fabulous lipstick samples all in the pink family. The colour palette came in a block of four and range from subtle nude to the all out Nickki Minaj experience. As I did this make-up Haul at the airport (duty free Y’all) they did not have a Lancôme counter or I would have probably purchased the lippy from them.

The Body Shop Almond Body Butter

If you do not like sweet smells skip this one. I am a huge fan of the body butter range. I really enjoy the vanilla, Cocoa and Coconut fragrances best. The great thing about these butters is you do not need perfume when you lotion up with this stuff as It is fragrant enough. Personally, I have not experienced clashes between a body butter and a fragrance. Because all the scents I like have the same basic components as the butters. But I guess this could be an issue if you try to mix and match. But for peeps like my home girl V who can take of leave fragrance this product is a winner.

Blistex

Oh how I love thee let me count the ways. Guys I love, love, lurve this lip balm it’s cheap and effective. It acts as the perfect moisturiser under lipstick. Lately the fashion magazines and my fashion insider V have been telling me about a new trend in high end lip balms that cost upwards of £25 but supposedly heal the lips from the inside out. Exactly the type of hype that could have got me to part with cash BBP (before budget plan). Sorry Folks I have no idea what’s happening in the world of fancy lip balms but feel free to tell me all about it if you do.

Coco kisses.xxx

Can Somebody Beat that Kids Ass

2012-10-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

I really hate ill mannered or badly behaved people unless their inappropriate antics are fuelled by one too many cocktails. whoop, whoop!

If your a parent you will need this, and lots of it

I feel no differently when I consider children. Unlike most adults who all seem to love children I mostly do not. While politically incorrect, small children do not insight the same warm fuzzy feeling inside that they do for most adults. Unless their parents happen to be a very close friends, or family members. Even then I can do without the stuff that inevitably comes with small people like painfully doting parents who have lost all semblance of their personality BC (before child) and are consumed with the joys of parenthood. Involuntary bodily functions, oh and of course challenging behaviour.

Diddy has not let parenthood consume him. lol

All of the above is much more acceptable to me when we are dealing with a child that is under 5 as let’s face it little miss/mr are learning to be in the world that is very confusing even for most adults. This age group deserve a pass. I know i’m not the only one that has noticed and endemic of badly behaved little heathens? The worst part is they seem to be attached to parents who either can’t or won’t discipline them. I was never one for physical punishment I always believed that behaviour management should be bespoke and fit the personality of the child. But should generally involve some loss of privileges and a discussion. However I have come round to the idea of a good ass whooping.

Parents are required to do much more than ever before what with all the expensive schools, clubs, tutoring classes etc..... you would think that most people would be producing mini Einstein’s who were cultured and more informed than ever but instead the children that I come into contact with are just plain rude. I recently met a young child on his way to church with his Grandmother he was around 7ish I said good morning to this little brat after exchanging pleasantries with his gran and you know I’m still waiting for a response. But the most shocking part of this exchange for me was that granny didn’t challenge this behaviour but instead said to me that he doesn’t talk much. NO what you mean is this little demon has no manners. Furthermore, by not correcting him society will have to deal with your families’ failure to manage his behaviour effectively in our classrooms, on public transport and of course in the street.

I can’t imagine being in the same position as a small child and not being compelled to respond in kind. Either with a, you wait till you get home type stare or a box right there in the street. The fear of such reprimand, not to mention the follow –up beating when I got home; kept my siblings and I well behaved in public forums most of the time. Which gets me to thinking that we need to raise the next generation with less talk and more action. In order to create clear boundaries that are universally clear. Especially for the adults who seem unable to step it up as they are crippled by the guilt of poverty, complex family dynamic and what ever label society has chosen to name your families issues. Some-times a spade is just a freekin spade. Chuh!

Loc Journey 3 1/2 Months

2012-09-28T12:06:00.001-07:00

So I have been lazy about documenting my loc journey simply because there really is nothing to report.

So my hair has started to matte up nicely and looks more like baby loc’s and less like two strand twists. So I’m loving that my hair has transitioned to a more locked state. But otherwise nothing much is happening.

Me with my front line Crew. V on the left and J on the right.

· I am still only washing my hair every four weeks I am not particularly enjoying this part of the process as I washed my hair weekly when it was loose. But, I am really trying to give I it a chance to do what it needs to do especially during the initial 6 month period in order to get the results that I want.

I still spritz my hair with water daily if when it feels dry. I’m trying to lay off the oils and only use them a few times a week as it causes my scalp to itch.

I am retwisting about once a week and going to the salon for my wash and retwist once a month and doing home maintenance the rest of the time. I’m trying to cut back on the amount of maintenance i’m doing as my hair is pretty soft at the root and I do not want to be baldy loc’s. I have never been one for head wraps but I figure a good head band and some hats are the way to go.

I was using Taliah Waajid retwisting gel but I found it was contributing to major build up issues so I’m trying my best to only use natural oils. My hair does tend to unravel with the sole use of oils. However, It’s not the end of the world. Overall the thing that I’m learning most with my loc journey is patience. The core principles when caring for locs all seem to be the same..............short-term pain, for long term gain.

For Men Only ( boy is that you? Damn!)

2012-08-25T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

If you have been keeping up with me then you will know that this has been coming. We have already put the ladies on points as requested, but fella's now it's your turn. I know some of you will think that this is basic stuff; but you 'the people' have requested it, so I'm guessing it's needed. Now I'm not a man, so If I have left out any -thing y'all feel is essential then please comment.
Hair

Keep it clean and groomed boys. I don't care if you roc a low cut Caesar, cornrows or loc's just maintain it by washing it regularly. I have in previous blogs discussed some of the hair products that I enjoy so please feel free to steal any ideas.

Facial hair

Boys can you keep on top of this? If you are usually clean shaven can you deal with this regularly as we ladies hate it when you scrape off half our faces when you have let it grow in too much. I know hair bumps can be an issue but there are lots of things on the market to help combat this. Also you can try steaming your face before shaving so the pore are open up.

Nice example of a groomed full bush

If you roc a full bush please maintain it by keeping it groomed and making sure their are no food particle, lint etc...so that we can kiss you when ever we want.

Body Hair

If you are very hairy can you trim? Unless of course you and you lady like it that way. But for the average girl according to my sources it is really weired to be sleeping in the nook of your mans arm and next thing you know you wake up feeling like you have a wig on as he has unleashed the beast under his arms which has some how ended up sitting on your face/head. Which would not be too bad, but for the fact it has not been tamed in years. So a light occasional dusting (light trim) with the scissors under your arms and below the belt can be deemed considerate.

Keeping Your Body Clean

Okay now down to business. Please make sure that you wash your boy parts properly. I'm not sure on the correct procedure (for obvious reasons) but feel free to ask uncle Google. The ladies are talking real bad about some of you, I've heard things like musty cheese and balls in the same sentence.

The couple that bathes together stays together

It seems that most of you know how to actually wash properly but regularity seems to be an issue; twice daily please. I would suggest that you place real emphasis on pulling back any skin to make sure that you get it good. (If you are not circumcised) Do not neglect the balls guys this area is a hot spot so make sure you get in there with a wash cloth not just your hands and of course the booder. Now you guys tend to have a lot more hair in these regions so I would suggest a minimum of two soap ups would be necessary.

Hands and Feet

Clip your nails file down any sharp edges, and make sure your nails are free of dirt and debris. No-one wants their mate to get sexy if there hands are dirty. Word to men; this is a real mood crusher. Don't forget to lotion them.

Feet have also come up time and time again. so fellas if you have particularly active sweat glands in your feet. go to your GP and make sure that you do not have any underlying health issues. Once this has been ruled out please wash your feet clip toe nails. Dry in between your toes properly and wear flip flops in public swimming baths, gyms etc... so that you do not get athletes foot which can really leave a foul odour. change socks daily and inner soles regularly.

Side Notes

Brush your teeth and tongue daily
See your Health Care Professionals ( Dentist, GP) if you have a problem; don't just leave it!
wash your clippers/ combs and brushes weekly
clean your ears
wear deodorant
throw away old vests, underwear and socks ( especially if they have holes or are bad colour)
wash your clothes
Keep your living space clean

For Ladies Only (Wash Yo' Stinky Ass. Please, I beg you)

2012-08-25T10:51:00.000-07:00

Hiya Peeps.

Over the past week the brothers have been reaching out hard core asking me to feature specific topics. One particularly fine brother has asked me to discuss personal hygiene. As he has been horrified by the levels when dating. Now this may seem elementary to many of you, but not every-body got this information within the confines of their family so I have decided to document a quick run through of my own personal hygiene regimen. A version of this for the fella's will follow. If you can add something to from your own routine I would appreciate it if you left a comment.

Hair

Whether you rock a fro or a floor length weave ladies please keep it clean. Most of us can tolerate at least a bi-weekly hair wash regimen. But for those who choose to wait the full month please make sure you do not go any longer. Your head really can and does stink, especially if you are a product junkie or wear a weave as both these factors stop the scalp from breathing. The oils and lack of air can create a situation that is ripe for bacteria growth. Which can also leads to other issues such as hair loss. 'Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about'. Cause not all of you have a hair line!

African Black Soap one of my Favourite shampoo's

Hair Removal

I pluck my brows myself, as I don’t have thick brows (they grow all over the place) and I have to be careful who I let work on them, or I end up looking like I’m in shock. My girly friends with thicker brows get them threaded or waxed and they do look amazing.

Now girls I know that various trends in the media will dictate what you do with regards to your body hair. I think this one is a personal choice and you have to look at how each hair removal method affects your body, and what works well for you; as long as you are groomed. I personally go to the salon monthly for bikini waxes. If I am going on holiday I will also get my legs, arm pits etc… waxed. I usually use hair removal cream for my under arms and forearms. (I’m quite hairy) but I like to shave my legs in between salon visits. But I do recommend you use a Venus razor. (I clean mine with witch hazel) If you do use disposables just use a new one each time to prevent razor burn and ingrown hairs.

Please make sure your groomed no-one likes to discover a beaver in your pants

Keeping your body clean

Now, on to the good part. I like to start my regime by washing my face with clean and clear face wash and my Body shop face brush. Followed by, exfoliating my face with St Ives Apricot Scrub. I often skip the first step but the second is essential.

l brush my teeth manually with bicarbonate of soda or a good whitening tooth paste. Then I repeat this process with Macleans whitening toothpaste and my electric toothbrush. Followed by mouth wash. Some mouth washes make my mouth strip. So I only use Corsodyl

My Wash Routine

First I wash my coochie followed by the booder with a wash cloth (I use a clean one every day, and a different one for the face) with Dr Bonners Castile Soap. To prevent bacteria transferring from the the booder to the coochie it is really important that you do it this way round. Now remember that all the experts say you should wash this area with water only due to PH balance and douching is said to be a big no, no. I would also suggest that the washing routine is stepped up during warmer months, menstrual cycles and when you have company sexual or otherwise.

Then I will exfoliate my under arms with the apricot scrub. Soap up with dove body wash using a exfoliating body sponge. Then I will do my final wash down with my Body shop body brush and some body wash in a circular motion towards the heart.

Fine Details

Wash make- up brushes weekly ( tiny bit of fairy liquid as it is anti bacterial)

Wear Deodorant

Do something to hands and feet/ hard skin removal. File nails so they are neat and clean

I clean your ears. I do mine with a wash cloth in the shower and then before I put my make-up on with cotton buds and Witch Hazel.

Use lotion

Make sure your clothes are clean. Ladies there is no point in doing some version of the above if you do not wear clean clothes. If you can afford it, your clothes should not be bad colour or show extreme signs of wear and tear, especially your underwear.

Keep your living quarters as sweet as your body.

You are too F*%king Slack, and I'm sick of it!

2012-08-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Hiya Peeps,

After briefly scratching the surface in my two previous blogs regarding negative male/female social behaviour I have been talking to friends and family members about possible solutions.

My musing have left my head swimming with old timey sayings like 'back to basics' or 'In order to love each other, we must first love ourselves'. People of African heritage are in crisis. In this fine city we are academically, financially, some what better off than previous generations until you consider the advances of our counterparts and realise that actually we are failing. My thinking is that we are not actually emotionally, pschologically or spiritually healthy enough to embrace and enjoy success the way that other groups are doing. I am not talking about the off the cuff break out star. I’m speaking of a Diaspora rich with success.

We can do it!

Blah, blah, blah you say. This subject is tired and has been picked to death. But just like any infant that lacks understanding, self discipline and self control. We must continue to issue instruction until a real process of change has begun. I often wonder and despair at our condition and wonder if we will ever rise up? The evidence thus far suggests a big fat NO. Where can we start?

Self respect, familial respect and Community respect For the love of ourselves can we just stand up and take personal responsibility for our success and failures? Our shit is stinking real bad. But in order to begin the mammoth task of a clean up operation it would require that we stop talking, stop bleaching, shucking and jiving and, actually assess our condition and make movements toward change.

Nothing says community action like the Panther's

2. We are not strong enough for interracial love

Until we can satisfactorily respect and love each other as black men, women and children then we have no business engaging in relationships that cause further strain on the community.

When we produce biracial children we owe them the opportunity to embrace all parts of their cultural heritage. Parents of biracial children must recognise that this element of diversity must be nurtured by presenting the opportunities for cultural teachings, and practises. However what is actually happening in many cases; in the city, is parental absence. Or the presence of an African heritage parent that is operating in self hate and choosing to ignore their heritage altogether.(choc ice?) This produces confused children who are not white enough or black enough; causing further displacement not for all? But for many.

It starts and ends with us

3.We need the option of our own schools

We have a social responsibility to our children who are not getting adequate parenting to provide a safe space where they can not only survive but thrive. With teaching practises that actually work for our children. For those children that are performing well, we can incorporate some continuity between home and school. Where all of our children are treated as just that and running the streets like wild beasts is no longer an option. A safe haven where, academic studies are supported by life skills, like personal hygiene, financial management, and nutrition and SELF LOVE.

Mary Ann Shadd Opened a School in Windsor for Black Refugees in 1850s

The time for change has been and gone. Now what?

Coco Goes Loco in the City...

Moving

Loc Journey Month 8

Why are we Replacing Reality TV with Reality?

What Does Your Jobs Say About You?

Mini Hair Update (Six Months Loc'd)

Seasons Greetings. I Think?

My Loc Journey Month 5

The Spunky Coconuts Pumpkin Pie Recipe

Pumpkin Pie (Egg-free, Gluten-free, No-bake, Dairy-free)

Random Hair Pics (baby locs)

That Crazy Bitch Sandy (Hurricane Part 2)

That Crazy Bitch Sandy (The Hurricane) Pt:1

Fridays Thoughts (Random Blog)

Novembers Frugal Faves

My Loc Journey (Month 4)

Are You Good in Bed?

Are You Lonely?

How to Fall on Your Face—with a Smile Fr: the O.W.N Network

How to Fall on Your Face—with a Smile

How Young is too Young?

Are You There Yet?

October Faves

Can Somebody Beat that Kids Ass

Loc Journey 3 1/2 Months

For Men Only ( boy is that you? Damn!)

For Ladies Only (Wash Yo' Stinky Ass. Please, I beg you)

You are too F*%king Slack, and I'm sick of it!

Pumpkin Pie
(Egg-free, Gluten-free, No-bake, Dairy-free)