God's got this!! :-)

I'm Tired...

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 07:14:00 +0000

It's been awhile...things have changed since the last post. Turned 37 a few weeks ago. Thank God for that. I realize the last post I wrote was on my last birthday. Baby Khloe was born in December of last year. She just turned 7 months a few weeks ago. Other than that all is the same. But I'm tired.....

I am physically tired, mentally tired and spiritually TIRED. Just being honest. It's 2:00 am and my entire household is up. Does that make me a bad mom? At this point I don't care. I am not writing this to sound pitiful or sad. These are my feelings at the moment, and yes I know feelings can deceive you. Well, honestly I have felt this way for a time now. I've been trying to ignore it. Be a "good Christian" and fight through but it's overwhelming. What would I say to a friend in my shoes?? Hold on friend..God's got you..LOL.

I am having trouble holding on, remembering that God's got me when there are so many other "evil things" going on in this world. I feel guilty because there are people dealing with so many other things...so many bad things that are out of their control and here I am whining.

I feel like getting out of God's way and trying this thing alone. Surely He has better things to do then bother with me...right?

I hear my friends encouraging me, I hear myself encouraging someone else in the same state. Why doesn't that help? I am TIRED of going around the same mountain which is myself, my pride, my own ambition, only to fall. I guess there is truth in the scripture Proverbs 16:18....wow pride really does come before the fall. Forgive me for even questioning God's Word but it happens. Sorry.

Well, maybe that's the little nugget of revelation I needed for this moment.
My friends are praying for me, they have encouraged me. I pray that little nugget of scripture helps you just as it did for me this very moment. Let's take it one day at a time. I feel myself getting overwhelmed with things to come, what ifs and so forth but I will take it one...day....at....a....time. I urge you to do the same.

I'm sorry this post was not very happy but I pray it shows how real I am. I hurt, I get TIRED, I get overwhelmed. I profess Jesus as Lord and all these things still happen. Joy will come back one day, sooner than later but it's up to me I know. I can choose Joy...

I can choose to be grateful. My good friend gave me some good advice. Journal your gratefulness. There is something to be grateful for....SOMETHING....we all have something. Find it, journal, thank God for it. Even if you feel defeated, worthless, needy and helpless find something. Even when you KNOW you should be doing better, have better, find something. Even when you are tired of reaching out for help when you should be the one helping, find something.

Well, goodnight or good-morning...God's got us....let's rest in that.

P.S.
I didn't write this blog to make you feel sorry for me, I only wrote as a way to get these feelings out in hopes that someone, anyone....knows they are not alone. That's the one thing I CAN do when I feel like I have nothing to give after so much has been given to me. I don't want to be needy all my life, or be a taker all my life. I strive to be a giver in any and every way I can. God Bless you!

T- Time
I- I
R- Relied on God
E- Every
D- Day

Encouragement!!! Please read :-)

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 08 Jul 2013 19:38:00 +0000

Yesterday was my 36th birthday...Praise God and it was by far the BEST birthday yet. Why? Because it was simple...my mom cooked one of my favorite dishes, and I got to enjoy my family. We ate, we laughed, we relaxed and just hung out. No toiling, no dressing up, no wondering what we were going to eat later, lol. It was perfect. But I also received a very very special and much needed gift for my birthday....from God.

God has the perfect way of getting you what you need when you need it. We all know the saying, He may not come when you want it but He's right on time...well, I used to hate that saying. Now I understand it.

Lately I have been feeling very stagnant in my walk, very stale. Of course the first questions you get when you feel that way are "how much time have you been reading, how much time have you spent praying, and so on. Well that only added to my zombie like feeling with God because I hadn't been doing much of that and condemnation set in...bad. I felt bad for not devoting hours and hours to the Lord, or reading everyday. I let the enemy beat me down and I didn't care.

Well the Lord sent a Word to let me know all is well, He loves me, He understands and I have not lost my place in Him and most importantly, I am NOT doing anything wrong just because I'm not doing (that sounds bad but you will see what I mean)...and I want to encourage YOU because I know I am not alone. Now don't get me wrong, reading, praying, worshiping and spending time with God are all very important to our walk. That's how we learn and grow in Him BUT (this is the most freeing part) God does not love you or me anymore or any less if we do or don't do those things...let me repeat that...GOD DOES NOT LOVE YOU ANYMORE OR ANY-LESS IF YOU DO OR DON'T DO THOSE THINGS. That doesn't mean you should neglect them but God is not moved by your performance or in your eyes, your lack of performing.

I learned in that short conversation that what someone else's intimate growing time with God looks like will look different from mine and further more I shouldn't be comparing myself to anyone else. We can get so caught up in trying to keep a to do list for God that we lose Him in the process and it's not even about Him anymore. For some it may literally be in the prayer closet on their face for hours, for others it may be quiet time in the car....today for me it was 10 minutes with my head down on a pile of warm towels straight out the dryer, lol just resting in His presence...no talking, no declaring, no warring just resting. Someone may spend hours in their prayer closet and you may only be able to pray for 5 minutes...they may keep their face buried in their bibles while you can only read a scripture a day, some may fast for days and weeks and you can only do lunch...and THAT'S OK! God says He understands. What works for some doesn't work for everyone, we are all made different, have different life circumstances and GOD LOVES US ANYWAY....I will have to remember this with my own children because it can become so easy as they grow in God to try to dictate to them what I think they should be doing to grow instead of letting God have His way and letting His will be done in their lives.

Don't feel bad because your friend gets up at 5am every morning to pray and you can't do it. Don't let anyone make you feel like a weak Christian because you can't read a whole chapter a day or do what they do...that's not what it's about and we are missing the point! We have to stop striving to please God. Our society has become all about performance and success and we have regrettably brought that over into our walks with the Lord. STOP IT! Stop striving, stop toiling, stop trying to win God's affection by doing..STOP condemning yourself because you missed a day of prayer. STOP because the enemy will beat you down and try to keep you down with condemnation. Hold your head up because you are still His child. You have His heart, you have His affection.

I don't know if this helps anyone else, but it was a burden off of my shoulders and my heart. I felt like a failure in my walk because I thought I should be doing more...I've been saved for years so I should be praying for hours, reading chapters a day, casting demons out everyday, confessing the Word every hour and you get the point...We have made this thing work and rules instead of about RELATIONSHIP.

I also learned that we have periods of rest as well as periods of battle. God created rest for His people and it's OK to enjoy that. We have been taught in church that if things are quiet and you aren't rebuking the devil daily then you better watch out because satan has this sneak attack planned and is going to get you because you had your guards down....that's wrong. Its sad that God's people can't even enjoy their rest so when we do have to war we will be refreshed and prepared. Enjoy your quiet time, enjoy your rest. Enjoy YOUR relationship with YOUR Father.

I pray this helped someone, if not it surely blessed me and I appreciate God sending me this special Word on my birthday because it was indeed needed after all these years. It felt like the light bulb finally went off...it's one thing to read it in His Word that He loves you and He cares but when He sends a Rhema Word just for YOU that trumps everything! :-)

One last thing...don't live your life trying to live up to other people's expectations of what they think your relationship with God should look like, they are not your God. Only allow God and His Word to set the standard for your life. Let Him lead your life...

Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ³⁹No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Cursing God for His Blessings...

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 04:00:00 +0000

I know this is really soon, since I just posted and all...but someone asked me a good question after my last blog and I wanted to address it. She thought I might be offended but I wasn't at all, in fact it inspired this post! And I least I know she is interested in knowing the way I feel.

A few weeks ago my Pastor talked to us about Job. Everyone knows Job and the hardships he went through with God's approval...yet Job never cursed God. I mean he lost his kids, his servants, just about everything yet he continued to trust God. Even when his friends and wife thought he was crazy, he still trusted. I am sure he didn't like or approve what was going on but he knew God must have a plan if he was going through it. Our pastor then asked if there was anytime we cursed God during hardships....of course I said YES!

You may say a baby is not hardship, it's not devastating.... but I was mad. I was cursing God for our blessing. Why you ask?? How could I be mad at God for blessing us with a new baby? Babies are blessings right?! Well in my limited frame of thinking all I could see was the NOW...like how could God allow this to happen NOW when I asked multiple times for it not to, didn't He know our financial situation NOW?? Didn't He see the struggles we have, NOW? So yes I was mad! But God's ways and thoughts are not like ours..we don't touch the surface. He knows the end from the beginning, we only know the today and yesterday. Of course I repented because I was plain downright wrong, but I thank God for being merciful, forgiving and knowing how small our minds can be at times. He just wants us to trust Him. I have so many friends telling me who this baby could become, how God will use this child and I am getting excited. Mark is ready and already talking to my belly, lol. Kalena thinks she can see the baby through my belly button. :-) I can now say I am honored that He has chosen me AGAIN, lol, to carry one of His messengers onto this earth. I just pray we can continue to be the parents we need to be!

I remember hearing a pastor say that God will never give you a life that makes Him unnecessary...we are living proof of that. If God doesn't provide we don't have it. He uses my parents, family and friends to bless us, but I know they don't have to do what they do. It's all His favor! I don't say all this for sympathy, it's actually very very freeing when you totally surrender to God! It takes the pressure off you and puts it on Him where it should be. No, that does not mean we have no earthly responsibilities and we can just do whatever but it means that I will take David's advice in Psalm 131;

Lord, my heart is not proud;
   my eyes are not haughty.
I don’t concern myself with matters too great
   or too awesome for me to grasp.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself,
   like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk.
   Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord—
now and always.

Whoa....

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 01:39:00 +0000

***DISCLAIMER - The views in the post are strictly MY opinion, MY feelings and real human emotions. They are NOT meant to offend anyone or past judgement on any group of people...Thank you!****

What a way to start a blog post right? Well just keep reading and you will see why I had to start it this way!

This post is going to be a little different, maybe a little longer but I pray it's worth your time. I have been dreaming about writing this post for some time now, but wasn't sure if the time was right. It still may not be but I need to get this out! At this point you are probably like "GET TO IT ALREADY". I will, I will! Be patient with me...a juicy disclaimer is great bait right, lol.

These past few weeks have been very difficult and different for me, I have experienced emotions that I have never experienced yet God has kept me in His strength and peace of mind. This all seemed so much easier in my mind, and it flowed much better too...I feel like I am about to reveal some deep dark confession but it's not that huge and you may not be that interested after you find out, but we shall see...I'm nervous....really nervous...but here goes.

Well...a few weeks ago I got some news that I was NOT prepared for, NOT wanting nor expecting. I felt like my world was ending to be quite honest...I was devastated, hurt, mad at God...just everything. How could this happen to me?? AGAIN!! I asked WHY numerous times, God was silent but spoke through friends to let me know it was OK, and part of His plan for our life...yeah yeah yeah. Wasn't trying to hear that to be honest.

For whatever reason ( I know this sounds bland) God has decided to bless us with another child...I know at this point you probably want to slap me for all the things I just said, but believe me I said much much worse. That was mild to be honest.

So I will be a mother of 4....

I'm letting that sink in as I type, lol. I KNOW children are a blessing, I KNOW how many women would love to be in my position, but at the time I didn't want to be in it. I felt so bad after I found out, like how could I let this happen? Like I had to offer God an explanation, my family...because things are tight, we already have 3, I don't work...and the list goes on. How could we be so irresponsible??!!...I was ashamed, and I honestly felt like everyone was going to be sooooo mad at us and think we were foolish! I can't tell you the number of times I PRAYED for God to close my womb....seriously....we took precautions but it only takes once and God said BAM! I can't tell you the number of times during the sick moments that I have felt NO attachment to this baby. I won't even say the things I thought and said when I found out, I am ashamed or was because I know God has forgiven me. At this point, it's about taking it one day at a time. Getting through my days without getting sick, finding what I can and cannot eat and praying my blood pressure stays low. Guess I should stop worrying huh?? And for the record our family was so supportive of us but I have to learn that even if they weren't God is in control and has the final say.

During one of my low moments God reminded me of an event that took place two years ago after our sweet little Kalena was born...and it started to make a little sense. Talk about revelation...

After Kalena was born Mark and I decided that we were done, 3 was good and pretty manageable....she snuck up on us but it was all good and we were content. I decided to have my tubes tied, with my husbands consent. I scheduled to have it done a few weeks after she was born because the delivering hospital didn't allow them. This is where that disclaimer will come in but remember these are my thoughts and not meant to offend anyone. I arrive to have the procedure done and I feel BAD, it feels wrong, but I *know* this is the right choice for my family. I mean we have 3, anymore would be crazy right? So I fill out my papers and head to the back. I honestly feel like I am signing my life away, I feel like I am getting ready to have an abortion...real talk. But again I ignore that and continue on. My prep nurse was so sweet and really understanding but as she talks she wants to make sure I am sure...she's trying to convince me not to do it. God had blessed her and her husband with 5 children and He provided for all of them...after that she had no more. She let God decide when it was done...yeah yeah good for her...I DON"T want anymore. My recovery from Kalena was not great and I DIDN'T want to do it again! I told her that yes God was a great provider but I couldn't take that chance with my family. She just smiled and said "I understand". I get prepped and while laying on the bed waiting to go back I start feeling worse...Mark is there and he can see the fear in my eyes and hear the doubt in my voice and he says "Bae you don't have to do this"...I'm convinced I do. We can't afford anymore surprises...and at this time I was working! He even offered to have a procedure done. Nope, now is the time, it's no turning back. Well I listen to other patients around me and I start feeling like I want to run away, like I was about to betray God...had I even asked Him what He thought? Nope, it was my body and my decision.

What do I do? Or better yet, what don't I do? Well obviously I couldn't go through with it, God was tugging on my heart to not do it. My husband calls the nurse over and says "My wife has changed her mind, please unhook her from everything", she just smiles, I guess her prayers were answered.. :-). My doctor comes in and says he is so happy for me, of course he would love to deliver another baby but I'm not trying to hear that either, lol. So we leave....I am relieved but scared. Mark's just happy that we left in time to have the Pizza Hut lunch buffet! LOL

So here we are 2 almost 3 years later, and I see now why I felt so bad. Now this is not an argument on birth control methods or anything like that....everyone has their own personal convictions. Believe me this time there is no turning back!! This delivering hospital does allow them, and I will take advantage of that! But for that time, God knew...He always knows...I couldn't do it, because for whatever reason He was not done using me and my husband.

All of my reasons for not wanting more seem so selfish now. Part of the reason I was so hurt was because Kalena JUST got potty trained, she's ready to go to school, she's a big girl now! It was about to be smooth sailing you know. What's funny is I noticed she was moving so fast and I had a quick thought that she's moving awfully fast, you know what people say...moving out of the way for the next one. I QUICKLY dismissed that and scolded myself. I even tried to go back to work with no avail...and I mean just part time...nope. Here I am with a degree, lots of experience and I can't even get a part time job! God knew...

He knew I would be sick for a few weeks and barely able to function, He knew that I couldn't handle two small babies so He allowed my little one to "grow up" a bit first so I wouldn't have two in diapers, He allowed my 14 year old and 9 year old to mature and become responsible little helpers. He knew...

He used my daughter to encourage me and get my head back on straight (somewhat). I was so hurt and had been crying the whole day I found out (I know I know). I tried to hide it but I couldn't. She asked me why was I so mad about it..I told her all my reasons.....she just looked at me. One of the main reasons was I was worried what other people would think! Yes....I was. She basically said " Mama you are 35 years old and MARRIED" Why are worried what people will think? Don't you tell me not to worry about what people think? You act like you are teen mother that has been abandoned by everyone she knows, you are a good mama and everything will be OK" WOW! All I could do was smile through my tears....

HE KNEW! All I can ask now is that you guys pray for us...Pray mostly for God's will to be done during this pregnancy! Pray for the doctor visits because I had to get a new doctor due to insurance reasons and I am a little nervous about that, that I start feeling better, pray for our finances...I know God will provide. He always has and He always will.

I HAVE to remember God's Got This! :-)
Psalm 139:13-18

Missions

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 18:28:00 +0000

Somethings have been on my heart...I am not a missionary, and I can't say I missions are my passion but I have a deep concern for Christians on the other side of the world.

It seems our culture is one of impatience and ingratitude. We want what we want when we want it and we feel "cheated" by God when we don't get what we think we deserve. I think we have forgotten we have received MUCH more than we deserve.

I think about how blessed we are in the US...it almost seems unfair how God is so gracious with us after the way we treat Him yet our brothers and sisters in Christ in other countries deal with a much, much harsher reality. They love the Lord, deeply love the Lord and yet suffer...I know we are to suffer as Jesus suffered (1 Peter 4:1, 1 Peter 2:21)...are we doing something wrong here?

I am not praying to suffer or saying we are less than because we really don't know what true suffering is. We think persecution is not getting the job we fasted and prayed for, or if someone talks about us at work....we are not true martyrs.

We get away with so much but yet act like we are entitled to any and everything under the sun because we make a few faith confessions and praise a little longer...seems like manipulation at it's best. God is moved by His Word, His angels do hearken to His Word (Psalm 103:20) Faith does please Him (Heb. 11:6) BUT we need to check our motives, because it seems that when we walk, talk and act in faith but still don't receive; we shake our fist at God in anger. It's natural, we are human. David did it many times but we forget after David let his anger out, he worshiped God even harder. Not to gain approval but because he knew God was still God, He was still great and he couldn't forget all the past victories.

I used to think when I prayed and made my confessions that the people on the other side must not be doing something right. Surely they must not know they don't have to live that way. They wouldn't be in that state if they knew right?? Maybe if they confessed the Word things would be better...right?

How wrong I was...They have a love and hunger for God we only scratch the surface at. Our worship has become superficial...we worship God but we expect something for our good deed. Let's worship Him just because of Who He is....

Well I am rambling but prayerfully you get my drift.

Let God be God and let's worship Him in spirit and truth. Let's pray for those that are persecuted because of their faith!!

l

Facebook

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Sat, 07 Jul 2012 03:03:00 +0000

Facebook.....Facebook. It can be good, but it can be bad. Just like anything else in life. I love FB, I really do. Like most people I find myself spending way too much time on there. Sometimes I think "What did we do before FB???" I admit I would feel disconnected without it; when I hear that some people don't have a FB page all I think is "they must feel so left out!" Uh probably not! They probably have so much more peace. We know FB can be draining and it's so easy to get sucked in. Just like anything else, there is too much of a "good" thing. FB has been a blessing to me in so many ways; it helped me reconnect with my father, helped me find other family members that I probably never would have found. I have made so many friends that love the Lord just as much as I do and more!! But I also read people's problems, their complaints, their bad days. That can drain you and it can become a burden. I would love to say I use those opportunities to pray for that person, that is my goal but it doesn't always happen. I try to use my page to post about the things of God, but not everyone likes that. I think most people prefer to read about your mess, your struggles, your arguments with family; you know......all the "juicy" stuff. Be careful you don't get trapped into that either!!

Awhile back I didn't get on FB because I was too busy spending time with my family!! (who does that anymore??,lol j/k) I LOVED it!! I felt so peaceful. I didn't feel like I was taking on all the problems of my friends. It's not their fault, they just need to vent! I noticed a difference in my own personality. It may be time to do that again. I advise everyone to take a day, a few days or a few hours away from FB. When it becomes hard not to log in.....there's a problem. It used to be email...now we can go days without checking email...if they don't inbox you they may not get you!!

I just wrote this to suggest we all take a few hours to get in our Word, fellowship with the Father, just be quiet, go outside, spend time with family and let FB be FB, believe me it will be there when you get back!!

Love Yourself!! God doesn't make junk..... :-)

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Thu, 05 Jul 2012 17:56:00 +0000

Feels like it has been forever since I posted! Not much has happened since the last post. Kids are still doing great and growing! Husband is still fine ;-) Well one thing did change, I cut off all my hair at the beginning of the year to "go natural". Seems like that is the new thing now, lol. I love it though. I will post some pics at the end. It was quite and eye opener for me. It was one way to accept myself the way God made me. It hasn't been easy but I am enjoying it more and more. Thankfully I had the support of my family. I know alot of ladies don't get that. My husband has been great and can't wait until I have a big fro! LOL I admired some friends that did it and they encouraged me to try it, not push or anything. What harm could it do! So far so good. I didn't write about it sooner because I didn't want this to become a natural hair blog. Those are great but that's not my purpose. And it's certainly not to look down on anyone that isn't natural. Some ladies take this natural thing too far! For me it was a good change. It makes me realize how much we try to change the things that God has intentionally given us; whether it's hair, our other features, our personalities. We try to fit into a mold to conform, to not make waves, but the Word tells us not to conform! Romans 12:2. We don't want to be uncomfortable and we don't want to make other people uncomfortable around us! Not good! Now that doesn't mean we don't try to better ourselves and grow; but hey if your nose looks like whatever then know God doesn't make mistakes!! You may not like your eyes, your stature, or the way your hair falls to that one side, BUT He knew what He was doing when He created you! That got me through many bad hair days, lol. He says He knows the number of hairs on my head....Luke 12:7....whether they be straight or curly. This applies to everyone, no matter what the situation. Does it have to be as drastic as a hairstyle choice?....No. Just love yourself knowing that God loves you, He created you for a purpose, He created you for Himself! He is not mad at you , nor does He regret creating you. I have dealt and do at times deal with low self esteem so I know how that feels but FOR ME doing this hair thing was a great way to break out of that! I have to accept myself before anyone else can and the same goes for you! Ask the Lord to help you strengthen your image in Him. It's not about pleasing people but about pleasing the Father. When we don't accept ourselves we are telling Him He made a mistake. God doesn't take kindly to that! He is the author of the universe and knows what He is doing and what He wants!

Well I didn't want this to turn into a blog about hair...so I will let that go. :-) Just remember God loves you!!!

6 months natural 7/3/2012

A few pics:

The day after my BC 1/3/12

God's Love

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:38:00 +0000

God's Love

Good morning! I’ve been meaning to write this post for weeks now. God has put something on my heart, but I haven't been obedient. Please forgive me.

This is a simple, short post. Nothing revolutionary, but very important. God wants you to know He loves you!! Yes, you, reading this right now! It doesn't matter if you are a regular reader, if I sent this to you, or if you just found this. This message is for you.

He loves you.

Let that sink in.

He loves you regardless of what you did 20 yrs ago, 20 mins ago, 20 seconds ago, or what you will do later. He loves you! He loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you. I know you have probably heard that since you were young, but now it’s time to really, really know it. Let it get deep down in your spirit. He loves you.

Do you know what else? He needs you! Yes, you. I don't care if you are all pierced, tatted up, pregnant and alone, divorced, angry, whatever. He needs you..

As long as there is breath in your body, He has a plan for you; a divine plan. There is someone out there waiting on you to come to them. Someone that God needs you to touch. Someone that only you can reach in the way they need to be reached. They may not know they need you, but He knows.

What's holding you back?

Sin?

Anger?

The opinions of others?

Unforgiveness?

Fear?

Whatever it is, it's not worth your life.

If you hold on to those things, they can eventually take your life. Maybe not in a dramatic sudden way, but sooner or later, they will become so strong you will find it hard to break free. Maybe you are there now. These feelings and emotions have become so strong in your life you feel there is no way out. You feel boxed in. Well, don't allow condemnation to hold you any longer. You can break free.

The first step is to accept Jesus into your heart as your Savior and Lord.

Okay. You've already done that, but you still don't "feel" different. Give Him everything! He wants all of you, not just the pieces you think He can handle. He wants your fears, bitterness, and wrong thoughts. He wants it all.

He is not surprised by you. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. He loves you and wants you to be free even more than you want to be free.

Trust Him. That's the next thing I need to tell you. He says, “Trust me! I am able. I am mighty. I hold the stars in the sky. I hold the ocean back from the shore. I tell it how far to go. I tell the moon to shine, the sun to shine, and the rain to fall. I can handle your bills. I can handle that cancer scare. I can handle your grief, your troubled marriage, and child. I can handle it all because I AM! I AM all that you need. I AM your relief. I AM trustworthy.”

Well, that's what He wants you to know today. He loves you and He wants you to trust Him. He sees you this very minute wrestling with this, and He says, “It's okay. I AM is right there!”

I personally know how you feel. I have been there and still go there at times. Yet, we all need to know this. We all need a reminder.

This post is simple, yet mind boggling to some. How can God love me so much? I don't know and I don't care, I am just grateful He does!

Matthew 11:29 (NLT)

Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Romans 8:31-40 (NLT)

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Hey There!!

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 05:13:00 +0000

Well look who is back to the blogging world..... :-) It feels like it has been FOREVER. I have missed writing but it just felt like there was no time. My FB friends would probably disagree as I am on there during the day, but I can tip in and tip out, when I blog I like to go full steam ahead. I know I can write a little and save it but I just like to go with my thoughts....I guess my thoughts will still be there when I come back, probably will have better thoughts...that's just my little "thing" I have to deal with.


Wow!! :-) What a blessing!!

I have so much catching up to do. I really can't remember the last thing I wrote about, it's been that long, lol. Did I tell yall about my dad coming for Christmas??? Probably not.....Well he came. Rode the bus from Wisconsin to Texas and arrived at 12:30 am Christmas morning. This was by far one of the best Christmas's ever. He was blessed to meet his grand-babies, and they now know him as G-Pa, lol. We hadn't seen each other in over 12 yrs....I thought I would cry when we saw each other but we held it together, and picked up like we never parted. It was such a blessing. My whole family accepted him and loved him. He had a great time, and the babies wore him out. I did cry when he left. Not right away though....it took a while. My husband called to check on me after I drove him to the bus stop and of course he asked if I cried....I told him yes, because if felt like a part of me left when he got on that bus, a part that I never knew existed.... I miss him, and he misses me and the kids. G-pa.....what a blessing.


Blessings


Twins, lol

G-Pa and his babies!

Had to get one where Kalena was looking, lol.

I pray you all had a wonderful holiday season as well.

Other than that it's been pretty quiet around here. Kids are doing great! Kalena is finally getting her 3rd tooth and talking up a storm. God has just been AWESOME as usual.

I have been blessed to meet so many new friends on FB lately. I call them family!! Lots of new brothers and sisters in Christ. It's been amazing to meet people from all over the U.S. with the same passion for Jesus. It's been like a big family reunion!! LOL

Well I will end this post for now, gotta let my brain get back in the habit of thinking and writing again, LOL.

I do want to leave you with this scripture though. Seems like a lot of my friends have been going through various tests and trials. I believe God is pruning us and getting us ready for the return of His Son. We must be ready. I want you to be encouraged in your trial and remember that God is working it out for your good. Just let Him work. Leave the progress and process to Him. He knows what He is doing. It may feel like He's silent, but He never leaves us! It may feel like hell has come to your home, but stand still and KNOW. God's got you!! You are covered and protected, just trust Him. Well I love you all. I pray for you all.....Pray for me as well.

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 NKJV

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers-most of which are never even seen-don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, and God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes"
Matthew 6:30-34, MSG

It's been awhile

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:26:00 +0000

Hello everyone!

I have not written in quite some time. My daughter has turned into a full blown toddler wanting to be with mommy alllllll day long, LOL! I am sneaking a few minutes while she is playing to write. She has even gotten to the point that she will move my hand away from the keyboard, too smart! I pray everyone has been well.

So much has been happening in such a short time. God is getting the glory through it all! It has not been easy and it seems things are getting worse before they get better but today I saw a glimer of hope after pouring out my heart to God. Something I don't think I have done in a awhile. I pray, but pour out.....not in awhile. Pouring is refreshing. It's like a total body cleanse for your soul!! :-)

God is just so awesome and so faithful, that's all I can say. I am still waiting on some other prayer requests to manifest but I know it won't be long! Praise God. Well my little one is grabbing my hand again so I guess I better go! LOL

I do want to leave you with this prophetic Word I received from Minister Ivan Tait. It will encourage you to keep going no matter how hard it seems. When I read this it didn't mean much....until today!! Satan is a liar, and a thief and I refuse to give him any ground in my life. Not an inch, yard or centimeter!!

Just keep pleasing God with your life and He will MAKE all your enemies live at peace with you, Proverbs 16:7 . It doesn't matter if those enemies are coworkers, so called friends or even family. God protects His children, Psalm 91. They may do you wrong, but God keeps a record. Just keep your heart pure and free from bitterness and trust Him. Vengeance His the Lords! Romans 12:19 Be blessed!!

A Sevenfold Day

And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.

Luke 7:50, KJV

Today your faith will actually save you from circumstances and situations that you are going to face. The only thing that you are going to have when it is all over, when the dust settles, is peace. You are going to go out in peace and stand in peace because your faith will carry you and rescue you from every destruction and calamity. Now you will have the peace and freedom that comes from My own hand--the peace of being delivered from every snare.

No matter what you face today, the enemy's plans will blow up in his face, and you will stand there with all his spoil. Today is a sevenfold-return day. Be prepared and get ready; great things are going to happen! Drink in the knowledge of My forgiveness and heal the bitter pools in people's hearts. Enjoy My abiding presence upon you and walk in the realization of My power. Revel in the sweetness of communion with Me. Celebrate each soul that you introduce to Me and practice surrendering your will to Me when you don't want to. Let your life be a living sacrifice all day long, for this is the highest form of worship you can offer.

Tired

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 04:52:00 +0000

For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

I’m so relieved to have these five minutes. Won’t you join me?

Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes on:

Tired…

GO

Tired, I am tired of not loving God like I should. Not listening to the Holy Spirit like I need to.

They are my life, my everything or are they?..... I am tired of myself......not living up to what I know I can.

God has chosen me to live this life for Him, and if I give up and get tired, then what?? God has been so good, so loving, so caring, so kind. I can't afford to get tired of running, I can't afford to give up. But I am tired.....Tired of the enemies tactics against my family. Tired of his bullying us around. Praise God for Jesus and His blood that draws the line in the sand. I don't have to be tired anymore. I can choose to be refreshed. I praise God in my tiredness, and He restores my soul and spirit. I fight the devil when I tired because in my weakness God shows up. Don't give up, don't give in. Fight, Praise, Worship even in your tiredness. He will show you the way. God loves you and cares for you even and especially when you are tired. :-)

Isaiah 40:30-31(NIV)

Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.

You Won't Relent- Misty Edwards

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:29:00 +0000

I love this song too!! :-) Very powerful

It's late

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:16:00 +0000

I know it's late but I haven't written in a few days. My baby girl is finally alseep so I thought I would take advantage of the time. She is going through her clingy stage so I can't get much blogging done through the day.

Today was another "Monday". None of us wanted to get up after the holiday! We made it though, dragging nonetheless, but we made it. Today was also one of those days I wish I could do over. Nothing bad happened, but I know I need to get back on the strong track with the Lord. I need to get back in my Word and close, close fellowship with Him. I feel like I am wasting so much time! Ever have those moments? I thank God He is a redeemer of time, but we are also responsible for the time He gives us. We have to be good stewards of it. I am going to stop talking about what I need to do, and just do it! Just be it! Be a better wife, a better mother, a better sister in Christ. Just be!! :-) My former Pastor taught us that. Just be what you know you need to be. Stop talking about it, just be it!

So yeah this post is not really about anything, just random thoughts. Nothing really "super" spiritual to write on, just felt like writing. I do look forward to sharing but lately I just haven't been in the blogging mood, so when it hit I wanted to take advantage of that. Is that normal?? To all those experienced bloggers out there, do you guys have those days?? I am sure you do, it's just nice to hear you are not alone.

In spite of, God is and has been so good. I just need to get in His presence for a time of renewal and refreshing. Seems like this time of year should be so exciting, but it's not. Trying to get in the Christmas mood but it's kinda hard for some reason. I put out a few decorations thinking that would "do" it but nope. I think I just need more of my Father. You can only neglect your Spirit man for so long. It starts feeling dry and parched and it affects everything you do and those around you. You can only fake it for so long.

That reminds me of a song, My Soul Longs for You, by Misty Edwards. That's whats wrong. My soul and spirit are longing for my Father. I know what I need to do, now Holy Spirit give me the strength to do it. God is so awesome, how could I neglect Him. He takes time to love on me, how much more should I do the same for Him (regardless of feelings).

He has been doing some amazing things in the lives of my friends and family. For that I give Him praise. I will praise Him no matter how I feel. I will praise Him because He is worthy. It's not about me at all. It's a sacrifice and I see why.

Well I guess that's it for now. Thanks for listening to my ramblings! I hope I didn't sound like I was complaining. Just emptying my head, LOL. Good night!

Things I am not thankful for!

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:56:00 +0000

Thanksgiving is almost here, and everyone is getting ready for the excitement, food, family or just a day of rest.

Lots of people are taking the time to list things they are thankful for this holiday season. We always take this time of year to really focus on the things we are thankful for (we should do this everyday). The holiday of Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the Goodness of God and all the ways the Lord has blessed us!

I could follow that pattern and list the things I am thankful for, but I want to look at things different. I am going to tell you some things I am not thankful for!! Yep there are some things I am not thankful for, and never will be. So here goes!!

1. I am not thankful for death, but I am thankful for Jesus. He died so I don't have to mourn, and if I accept Him as Lord I don't have to "die", I will only transfer to my new home when my earthly mission is complete. Isaiah 53, Revelation 14:13, 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18, 1 Corinthians 15:55

2. I am not thankful for sickness and disease, I am thankful for Jehovah Rapha who is my healer and heals all of my diseases! Exodus 15:22-26, Psalm 103, 1 Peter 2:20-26

3. I am not thankful for poverty, but I am thankful for Jehovah Jireh, He always provides! Genesis 22:12-14, Philippians 4:19

4. I am not thankful for confusion, but I am thankful for Jehovah Shalom, He is my peace! Judges 6:22-24, Isaiah 9:6, Isaiah 26:3, 1 Corinthians 14:33

5. I am not thankful for the times I have felt alone or afraid, but I am thankful for Jehovah Shammah who is always here! Ezekiel 48:35, 2 Timothy 1:7

6. I am not thankful for feeling lost, without a guide, but I am thankful for Jehovah Rohi, my sheppard, Psalm 23! I am also thankful for the Holy Spirit who never leaves my side, and is my comforter and guide. John 14:16,26

7. I am not thankful for hard battles and trials, but I am thankful for Jehovah Nissi. He is my banner and I can run to him when the battle gets too much for me! He is my deliverer. Exodus 17:15, 2 Chronicles 20:14-15

8. I am not thankful for my sin, and unworthiness, but I am thankful for Jehovah M'kaddesh, the God who sanctifies! Leviticus 20:8.

9. I am not thankful for unrighteousness, but grateful for Jehovah-Tsidkenu. He is my righteousness. Jeremiah 23:5-6. Thankful for Jesus too! He became my righteousness so I could be reconciled to the Father once and for all! 2 Corinthians 5:21

10. I am not thankful for the times I feel weak, but I am thankful for Elohim. He is strong, prominent, and mighty! Deuteronomy 10:17, 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

So as you see I really am thankful but there are lots of things I am not thankful for. I thank God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit for being everything I am not, doing what I can't, and loving me anyway! I pray you all have a very Happy Thanksgiving! We have so much to be thankful and grateful for! :-)

Why I Write

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 04:20:00 +0000

Write it girl, Week 3! Topic for the week;

"When was the moment you first believed you were a writer?"

I never considered my self a writer. NEVER. I am not a writer by nature, nor a reader by nature. Not my preconceived nature of what I had become by my own ideas anyway, but God had other plans.

I started this blog after meeting a friend on FB and she suggested I check out another blog for ideas on making money at home. I am a SAHM of 3, so I was looking for a way to bring in a little extra income. Blogging was one of the ideas.

I admired other blogs, but never seriously considered one for myself. I thought it would be hard and tedious. I thought you needed experience. What in the world would I have to write about? What would I say? I am naturally a quiet person so talking in front of others is sometimes difficult. I have always been quiet. I am not big on sharing my feelings and emotions.

I would envy people that had talents, that were walking in their calling. What was mine??? I am not really good at anything. I can't sew, I can't draw, I can't sing, or anything close to any of that.

I started the blog anyway. I figured it if didn't work out I could always delete it. I started to notice that things would come to me in the night. Profound things, things that I know my mind didn't come up with. I felt like I needed to write this stuff down, but never would. I would usually blow it off, or sometimes I would share it on Facebook, but as we know you have a limit as to how much you can write, or you would have to write a note and not many people read those.

My first post was short because I was afraid if it was too long I wouldn't have anything else to blog about, LOL. Again God had other plans! I enjoyed it, and amazingly I haven't run out of things to write about. I know this is all God and take no credit because never would I have thought I would be writing anything but my name! :-) I go back and read some of the posts and think, "WOW Lord, I know this has to be you and the Holy Spirit"! I am honored that He has blessed me with this ministry. The opportunity to write, to share, to encourage and to experience His grace, love and mercy through words. I am learning about myself! I am amazed at the things He tells me and shows me through the blogging process. I am touched, encouraged and feel His presence every time I began to write. I can't explain the feeling but it can be overwhelming at times, at least for me anyway. I get excited when I think about writing. The computer has become my little sanctuary if you will. I know He will always meet me here.

I have been able to share so many of my life experiences and gained many friends in the process. I love it, and cannot imagine my life without blogging!

Thank you Jesus for allowing me the opportunity to share You, to experience You, to be in awe of You through writing. I still don't consider myself a writer. I can't see me writing a book or anything. I do consider myself an ordinary girl just pouring out my life for the Lord over the computer. A Blogger for Jesus is what I am, and I don't take that lightly! God is awesome, and I am honored to be used by Him!

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
      “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so my ways are higher than your ways
      and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Write It Girl, (week 3) Follow this link to read about more bloggers and why they began to write!

Roscoe

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 21:41:00 +0000

Roscoe, yeah Roscoe.

He is a stray dog my husband picked up a few years ago from his old job. Roscoe was matted, hungry, tired, but happy! Happy to be chosen, fed, and loved. We kept Roscoe for a few days before finding him a home. I told my husband I didn't want another dog!

Keeland actually spilled the beans because Mark knew not to put him in plain sight, he didn't want to hear my mouth! LOL So, I walk in the house and Keeland keeps looking out the patio window and smiling......I already knew. Roscoe was and is still happy. He roams, he's free, and he just wants to have fun! His new owner was so happy to have him, and Roscoe was happy to be with them. Well his owner left and Roscoe is roaming again, but somehow he always finds his way back to our house. Just to say hello!

I know God sent Roscoe to me one night, and here's why. I am not normally a fearful person. I try not to be anyway, but there has been an unusual amount of crime sprees going on lately. I suppose it's due to the holidays. While I know God is there to protect me, sometimes I let the circumstances drown that out. Well, Mark and Keeland left one evening to go to their weekly men's bible study. *Side note* Praise God for daddies that instill righteousness in their children, especially their boys!

OK, so they left. Kalena and I are here, Kayla is at my moms for the night. All of a sudden this fear came over me. I started praying then I heard Roscoe outside barking. Not really what I wanted to hear because we all know dogs bark when they see something. So I peek out the window, nothing. Roscoe quiets down.. I pray and praise God for protection......he barks again. Mercy! Will he please stop!! I know "things" are out there but I don't really care for an announcement. Kalena falls asleep, (dang, my little company has conked out on me) Normally I would be glad, but I kinda wanted her awake, LOL. I tell myself I have to get a grip and go to bed myself. Roscoe barks again......UGH!! I try to block it out. I crawl into bed, read my word and I began to relax. I started to think " you know Roscoe isssss here", if "someone" does try something he will get their attention at least". I look out and he is sitting right in front of the front door! Protecting our house. Protecting me in a sense. :-) I get back in bed, and try to fall asleep. I hear the Lord say, "See how you began to feel so secure because you know Roscoe is here?" "Well, I want you to feel secure like that all the time, because I AM is here ALL THE TIME"! Did I immediately stop being afraid? No, but I felt more at peace. Thank you Lord! I finally fell asleep and rested.

When Mark finally arrived, Roscoe was gone. I thank God for allowing a little scraggly, matted dog to look out for me, but I thank God more for being the ultimate protector that never leaves!! Praise God! Bless Jesus! I never have to be afraid and neither do you. :-)

2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT)

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

Psalm 91 The Lord—the One We Trust

He who lives in the safe place of the Most High will be in the shadow of the All-powerful. I will say to the Lord, “You are my safe and strong place, my God, in Whom I trust.” For it is He Who takes you away from the trap, and from the killing sickness. He will cover you with His wings. And under His wings you will be safe. He is faithful like a safe-covering and a strong wall.

You will not be afraid of trouble at night, or of the arrow that flies by day. You will not be afraid of the sickness that walks in darkness, or of the trouble that destroys at noon. A thousand may fall at your side, and ten thousand at your right hand. But it will not come near you. You will only look on with your eyes, and see how the sinful are punished. Because you have made the Lord your safe place, and the Most High the place where you live, nothing will hurt you. No trouble will come near your tent.

For He will tell His angels to care for you and keep you in all your ways. They will hold you up in their hands. So your foot will not hit against a stone. You will walk upon the lion and the snake. You will crush under your feet the young lion and the snake.

Because he has loved Me, I will bring him out of trouble. I will set him in a safe place on high, because he has known My name. He will call upon Me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will take him out of trouble and honor him. I will please him with a long life. And I will show him My saving power.

2011 - Growth

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 00:35:00 +0000

Thought this was pretty cool! From The Gypsy Mama! For five minutes we write, no editing, no thinking about it. Just write! Today’s topic is Grow.

Go.

Ok here goes! Just write. Ok....

2011 Has certainly been a year of growth for our family. Last year I lost my grandmother (was not expecting it), I had a baby (was not expecting it, lol) my husband lost and got another job, my children changed schools, we changed churches (we were there for 10 years) I started this blog, I reconnected with my dad after 10 yrs, and the biggest of all, I left my job to be home with my babies, we have 3! WHEW!!

I have seen God move in so many ways this year by all of these changes. The most important thing I learned is that God doesn't change. He knew everything that would happen and prepared us all for it. God is just awesome like that. He never changes!

Through it all I have felt the stretching and pruning that comes with growth. I guess you call them growing pains! Boy have I felt them! It may not always feel good at the time, but in the end you appreciate all the changes.......at least I know I do.

God has shown Himself this year, and I can't wait to see what He is going to do next year! Whatever happens I know He is already there waiting for us! Be blessed :-)

Malachi 3:6

"I am the LORD, and I do not change. That is why you descendants of Jacob are not already destroyed".

Hebrews 13:8

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

STOP.

READ MORE POSTS HERE!

GO

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 06:16:00 +0000

I heard a message tonight that opened my eyes.

I didn't know they were closed.........until tonight.

I want to live out this faith, live out my Jesus. With no apologies, just radical living. What will He ask me to do? I don't know, but I await the answer. I want Him to be in me so deep that my body exudes His heavenly fragrance. Not for my pleasure or glory, but for His! I want to stop being afraid because if His love is really in me, it cast out all fear.

My ministry is here, my ministry is now. It's not in the sweet by and by.....it's in the present. It's waiting on me to act, to move, to do, to go. My ministry is my home, my family, my neighborhood......and its waiting!

Sweet Jesus engulf me in your love so that I may live out this life for you. We sing the song " I Give Myself Away" but how much have we given away?? A snippet here, a snippet there? Jesus doesn't want a snippet, He wants it ALL. The lost don't need a snippet of Jesus, they need all of Jesus! They die and go to hell every second, but we eat the Word and sit on it. We are spiritual pigs wallowing in our own mud. While they die........

Someone saved me from the flames, now I must make it my duty to be a light and a witness to the walking dead. I was a dead women walking once, but someone snatched me from the flames. Will I do the same?? Am I too afraid to get burned?? I shouldn't be. If he can save Daniel from the lion's den, and the firey furnace surely he can help me too.

Jesus forgive me......for my apathty, my empathy, my wallowing.

No, I want to be burned. Burned for Jesus!! Light a fire under me so that my feet can't be still. My feet must go to do your work!

Jesus I write for you.....I care for my children for you......I love my husband for you.....I smile at a stranger for......YOU.

Make me uncomfortable (did I just say that?) Yes flesh, I did! MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE JESUS (I said it again)!

Forgive me for wasting time! I am here Jesus.....use me!

Romans 10:9-10 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.

Mark 16:15 And then he told them, “Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone.

Favor in the eyes of our children

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:11:00 +0000

I know that title probably sounds funny. You may say "why would a parent need favor in the eyes of their child?" We are the parents right, and what we say should go right??

I agree, but I also remember being a child and the hard time I gave my mom. I say my mom because I knew better than to look, talk, act, or even breathe sideways with my dad! LOL It wasn't because he was mean or anything like that. Quite the opposite, he probably let us get away with more than my mom, LOL. He would always say " Let them children be". I just knew better though, there was an invisible line I didn't want to cross.

So yeah, I apologize to my mom, alot. Especially now that I have an almost teenager on my hands!!

It's not easy by any means, raising someone that is so similar to the way you were when you were a child. Galatians 6:7 rings through my ears. That's not to say my child is a bad child, far from it. She is just....ahem, strong willed, LOL. She has a strong personality, and sometimes you forget you are dealing with a child!

But back to where I was going. We are in the process of making some changes in our home. My husband and I want to please God more than anything, which means we will have to stop allowing certain things into our home. Things like certain movies, music, and images. Of course they say "well it's only music, or it's just a cartoon" but what they don't realize it's sooooo much more than that.

I will be honest and say I hate addressing this with our children because it's hard to let go of certain things, especially when they have been allowed for so long. Kids get tired of hearing "because I said so, or because God said so". They want explanations.

I know some old schooled parents would say, "Uh uh you don't have to explain anything to a child". While that may be true in some cases, I do feel kids need to know why we make the choices we make.

We all know if we just say don't do that what's the first thing a child will do??? That starts while they are little. Curiosity sometimes gets the best of them. It goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. God said don't eat from this one tree and immediately they let the enemy stroke their curiosity nerve.

It's in all of us.

So as we make these changes I do pray we find favor with our children so their hearts will be receptive to see why we are making these changes, and it's not just because God said so, but here is why He said so. This is where I need to make sure I am in my Word and hearing from God like I should!

Alot of times when parent's talk all kids hear are "blahblahblah" or you can't do this, or that. My son likes to tell me "you never let me do..." when he asks me something and I say no. I don't want them to think all they hear are rules.

I also more importantly don't want to them think God is just a God of rules, and judgements. I want them to see He wants what is best for them a million times more than we do. I want to make sure they know they have an enemy that is fighting tooth and nail for their souls, minds and very being. He doesn't fight fair and will fight at all costs. As parents we have to fight, even when it doesn't feel good because we know it's not about feelings at all.

This is why I pray for favor, and I pray for God's forgiveness in being so nonchalant about certain things we have allowed as to not offend our kids, or to just keep peace in our home.

If you think about it, it's not really keeping peace because you just create an atomosphere of confusion in the long run because now they will want to know "why did you let me do it before?"

I will just continue to confess that God softens their hearts and allows them to really hear what we have to say and why we are making these changes.

Pray for your own children if you have them, or if you don't just pray for children in general. They need it more now than ever before!! Our children have questions and we need to be ready with the answers!

Deuteronomy 11:19-21 New International Version (NIV)

Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ²⁰ Write them on the door frames of your houses and on your gates, ²¹ so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the LORD swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Words! Think before you speak!

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 16:54:00 +0000

Words are powerful!

Words can hurt........words can bless. Watch your words carefully because once they are spoken they cannot be taken back. It doesn't matter if the words are spoken or written, they still have power. It also doesn't matter if they are spoken by your own mouth to yourself or by someone else. They still have the same power.

Words that hurt go deep, deep into the mind. They wound deeper than a knife sometimes. If you have been hurt by words, just know that Jesus is there to wipe away the wounds with His precious blood. He will heal you, and make you whole! Speak words of blessing over yourself. Speak words of praise to the Father.

Counteract the unkind words spoken over you and to you. Counteract it with the Word of God!

Maybe you didn't hear the words, but heard about the words spoken over you, or maybe you did hear and you can't get over it......began to speak blessings into your atmosphere.

People that speak hurtful words are hurting in ways we may never understand. No excuse, but now you know why. They can't hurt you physically but they know words can do more damage. Words become thoughts, and thoughts linger. Thoughts pop up at the worst times! They come in our weak moments.

Satan knows when to remind us.

I think it all goes back to "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" If only more people would practice that......

Use the power of your words to uplift, encourage, and bless those around you. Whether it's a stranger, friend, or family member. You never know how your kind words may be just the "word" they need to hear. You also never know how your words may be the one to take that person off the edge of the cliff they have been standing on. Choose wisely!

Remember we must give an account for every word spoken.....good or bad (Matthew 12:36-37).

Watch what you put in, because that is what will come out. Get into the Word of God and find His Words, Words of power and life. Let that be your new language of love......to yourself, and others!

Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Proverbs 18:21

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. Proverbs 10:11

Therefore encourage each other with these words. 1 Thessalonians 4:18

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if any-thing is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; 2 Corinthians 10:5

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Hebrews 4:12

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19

Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 10:19

A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Proverbs 17:27

Forgiving vs. Trust

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:42:00 +0000

Good morning everyone! Praying all is well out there! :-)

A friend of mine posted a statement on FB that really didn't hit me until now. She said "As Christians we must forgive but I don't have to trust you or forget about what you did".

Of course someone came right behind her telling her how that was wrong, and what's the point in forgiving if you won't forget. There is a big difference. The lady even went to the point of using the scripture Psalm 103:12. That scripture is God speaking, not a man!

We will all have the opportunity to exercise our forgiveness muscle in this life. Even something as small as a minor offense, to something as large as murder requires forgiveness. That doesn't mean it's easy by any means either way.

We all experience hurt because we are all imperfect. Whether the offense was intentional or not we must forgive, but must we forget?? I think it's important that we cleanse our minds daily with the blood of Jesus in order to not let our past hurts affect us later in life. Of course something's are so hurtful it's hard to forget them. The quote "Time heals all wounds" proves true. Some hurts just take time to heal and that's ok. Jesus came to heal our wounds.....physical and emotional. He knows some scars go deep and will take time.

What does it mean when I forgive someone?? Is it wrong that I don't trust them?? I say no. Say someone is taken advantage of when they were young. They may never forget what has happened to them but will choose to forgive the person. As hard as it may be, they have to. More for themselves than the other person. That means when you see them, instead of feeling angry and bitter you feel love, almost sympathy for them. You choose to see them through the eyes of God and His grace. That is something that comes from God and not from ourselves, and it is a choice!!

OK, so you have forgiven them, not holding the past infraction against them. But are you required to trust them? No! And that's ok. You would most likely never leave your own children with this person, and you may not want to be alone with this person. Is that wrong? No. Trust has to be earned. People may argue, well you haven't really forgiven them. Not true, you are not required anywhere in scripture to trust anyone.....ever really. The word of God says to trust no man, why? Because people make mistakes, and have the ability to hurt you. God cannot! We must put our complete and total trust in God and Him alone.

Of course you learn to trust people again. Don't let past hurts keeping you from loving and trusting those you know are trustworthy. Don't punish everyone for the mistakes of one person!

Do your best with the Holy Spirit's help to walk in love, towards everyone. Your love walk will help your forgiveness walk. The Word says love keeps no records of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5). That means you choose to not keep a mental journal of every wrong thing done to you. You can't function in life doing that. You have to move on at some point. Again it's a choice!

And remember we all need forgiveness. From God, from people and from ourselves.

Yes precious little you is capable of hurting people too!! We all have, and we all do. Remember though when you do, seek forgiveness from the person you hurt, but know you don't have the right to set the terms this time. Leave it in God's hand, and pray you find favor in their eyesight. Once you have done that, don't let them torture you with it. Stay away if you have to, until they let you know it's ok. This may take time! Be patient with them as they work through it. It may seem small to you but may be very hurtful to them. And forgive yourself (sometimes this is the hardest)

I notice that works the other way around. I have a few people that have hurt me pretty bad in the past. I have forgiven them, but God has also been so gracious in not forcing me to deal with these people very often. I rarely see them, but when I do I am not angry. I don't see them and immediately try to remember what they did. Of course it's still there, and you better believe satan would love for me to dwell on it, but who does that hurt more?? Me of course.

Just remember God loves you, Jesus died for your healing and everything will be ok! There is no wound too deep that the blood of Jesus cannot heal and cover. You are not alone in this. The Father knows what happened and He will work on your behalf to make it right. Just make sure you do your part! Forgive and leave the rest to Him! :-)

Matthew 6:14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (attitude: forgive because you love the Lord)

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (attitude: can love cover it?)

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.(attitude: loving and forgiving just like God forgave you)

Psalm 118:8 It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.

Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:45:00 +0000

Peace has been on my mind all weekend. I felt God's peace all around me. I hate to say but it didn't seem warranted. That doesn't make sense to my mind. I know I should walk in God's peace all the time, but I don't. But this past week was different. Nothing really changed, but His peace was there. I suppose it was all along. It was real, it was tangible. I just have this knowing that every little thing is going to be ok. I really don't want this feeling to end, but I know I should not be moved by my feelings, because if it does "end" I need to remember God's peace is here, around me, all the time. I have proof! No matter what I face, Jehovah Shalom is always there. He is the God of peace. It's His nature. There is no confusion in Him. Even when life gets unsettled, God is always there. My head knows that, but my heart doesn't always accept it. Now I know. God loves me, as He does you. Let His peace rule your heart, mind and actions from now on. Let's make a concentrated effort to dwell in and on the peace of God. Have all my prayers been answered?? No, but that's ok. I know God is working it out. I just know. If it doesn't change overnight, that's ok. I refuse to worry. I choose today to dwell in peace. My prayer is the same for you. No matter what is going on in your life right now, the very moment you read this, cast down your worries, and choose to dwell in peace. Peace with God, yourself, your circumstances, your family. I don't care how bad it looks now, just trust that God is working it out for you. You may say "yeah that's easy for you, you don't know what I am dealing with" You are right, I don't know, but God does. Maybe you have prayed with no immediate answer in sight......keep praying, keep hoping, and you will find peace, Peace will find you. Jesus is my peace, and He can be yours too. I once had a license plate border that read " No Jesus....No Peace, Know Jesus......Know Peace" I know you struggle. We all do. Your struggles may be bigger than mine, but peace can cover you, like your favorite blanket. "Peace is like hot chocolate for my soul" Who doesn't like hot chocolate?? OK if you don't, let it be that warm tea, hot coffee or that nice big bowl of hot gumbo! Maybe you like hot apple cider....let it be that. Just let it be! Peace is there for the asking and taking. Reach out your hand, and I promise it will overtake you! Thank God for His peace!! :-)

Matthew 11:28-30 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

Numbers 6:25-26 the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Isaiah 12:2 “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

Isaiah 9:6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Change

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 19:21:00 +0000

Change....It's a word most will say very few people like. The more I thought about it, that's really not true. Most people don't mind change...self initiated change that is. We work......we get bored on our jobs so we want to change jobs. We change friends, we change clothes, we change the food we eat for health benefits. We don't mind those changes because we can control them! That's it.......we like control. Now, change that comes when we least expect it....that's a no go for most of us. When we say YES to God we must be prepared for change at some point or another. Sometimes it's scary, most of the times it's scary. Being unsure of what's on the horizon is not always fun. Changing jobs is fun most of the time because we can say yes or no to the jobs we see.....we get to choose our change. When God changes us or asks us to make a change in our direction that can rock our world, we shrink back. Well at least I know I do. It all goes back to how bad do we want to please God? This is a question I am asking myself, even now. Change has been a constant in our household this past year. I wrote about some of the changes we have been through. Having a baby, leaving my job, changing churches, kids changing schools, Marks job. All of these things were scary......at first. After the dust settles and you can see your way it's not so bad after all. Change is good even when it doesn't feel like it. It's necessary in some cases. Does this mean I have totally embraced the unknowing changes that may arise in my life?.... nope! :-) I know God is there in and through the change if and when it occurs. I think of a dear friend of mine that God instructed to move across the country with his family. That family consisted of himself, his wife and their young son. All I could think was WOW! Would I have obeyed that call?? They did it, not completely without fear, but with trust that the God who calls also supplies. They are loving their change and God is opening up doors they never imagined. I look at my pastor. He moved him and his wife all the way from Florida to Texas to serve in a ministry far from home and family. God has blessed them immeasurably because of their obedience, and blessed us because of their obedience. God-Called change takes obedience, nothing more, and certainly nothing less. It takes saying "Lord you are really my lord and I lay down my life before you....do with me as YOU will" It's really saying " Not my will, but yours Lord" We all say those words, but what happens when they.....happen! Are we ready?? I can honestly say I am not, but I know the Lord will walk with me. He will see me and you both through any change that comes our way. Let's do our best, with the Holy Spirit's help, to be obedient and embrace God induced change. It may be unsettling at first, but I have a feeling we won't regret it.

Be blessed!

We love him, because he first loved us
1 John 4:19

Stay at home moms have Monday's too!

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 18:05:00 +0000

Hello everyone! Praying you all had a good weekend! Today started a little slow and I didn't feel so great, emotionally. It's Monday. While it's a beautiful Monday, it's still Monday. I thought I would be exempt from this feeling once I came home, but nope! Monday's are still....Monday! LOL

I woke up in a blah kinda mood. After a weekend of sickness, bad haircuts, and running around I was pooped!! I was a little upset with the kids too, as I had asked one to clean their room, and the other to clean up a spill from where they ate last night. Neither got done. A sink full of dishes, clothes to wash, clothes laying on the floor and chair in the den didn't make it better. Normally I would've fussed, fussed all the way to school. They would have been tired of hearing my mouth, but for some reason today, I didn't. Just didn't feel like it. I didn't want to actually. The more I thought of it, do I really want to send my babies off to school hearing a lecture?? They deal with so much throughout the day that I cannot imagine, I want them to leave my presence in peace. Not in dread of coming home, because mama is going to fuss some more. Now I will remind them of what I asked, and I will make sure the things get done, but I will do it in love.

That was my scripture for the day, 1 Corinthians 16:14 Let all that you do be done in love.

I really didn't have much to write about today, but this came to mind as I prayed for direction. It's a simple message, love. Let love be your guide today as you interact with people! Even as you interact with yourself. You may mess up, but you know what, God loves you, and you should love yourself! You are special, and were made on purpose for a purpose! Jesus died for you, and He loves you so very much! Don't ever forget that. Remember nothing can separate you from the love of God, Romans 8:38-39.

Ok, so this turned from a blog about Monday's, to a blog about love! LOL Holy Spirit have your way :-)

Have a great day today. Remember God loves you, and Jesus died for you to prove it!

This is my prayer for you today:

Ephesians 3:19

May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

Just a few scriptures on Love:

Psalm 36: 7

Psalm 91: 14

1 John 4: 8

Romans 5: 8

Hebrews 13: 1

John 13: 35

Hosea 2: 23

A Bloggers Prayer - Taken from the blog, A Holy Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Nikki) — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 19:32:00 +0000

I had to repost from a blog I follow, A Holy Experience. This speaks volumes, and is my prayer also.

Upside Down blogging, with Jesus increasing and us decreasing, begins with us bowed in prayer over a keyboard… so we begin in prayer…

A Blogger’s Prayer
I am no longer my own blogger, but Thine.
Refine me with each post how You will, rank me how You will.
Put me to service, or put me to suffering.
Let me be a follower, instead of seeking followers
Let me post for thee or be put aside for thee,
Lifted high, only for thee, or brought low, all for thee.
Do with me and each post whatever you will, because You alone know best.
Let me not strive but submit
Let me not compete but care
Let me not desire hits but holiness
Let my blog be full of You, and let it be empty of me.
Let me crave all things of You, let me care nothing of this world.
Let my words be worthy of the greatest of audiences: You.
And You are enough.
May I write not for subscribers… but only for Your smile.
May my daily affirmation be in the surety of my atonement not the size of my audience.
May my identity be in the innumerable graces of Christ, never, God forbid,
the numbers of my comments.
And may the only words that matter in my life not be the ones I write on a screen —
but the ones I live with my skin.
I freely and heartily yield every sentence, every title, every post, every comment… or no comments… all to Your pleasure and perfect will.

My only fame is that I bear your name
My only glory is the gift of Your Grace
My only readership, Your eyes that seek to and for to find a heart hard after you.
Make this so. Lord…
Yahweh, You alone are my God, not Google
Jesus, You alone are my Savior, not site meters
And Holy Spirit, you alone are my Comforter, not comments
So be it, today, yesterday, and every post to come.
This is my prayer I have made on earth, over this keyboard…
may it be ratified in heaven.
Amen.