The Maxwell Minutes kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com

2012-01-29T22:26:00.001-06:00

Who Will Catch You When You Take A Leap Of Faith?

Kathleen Maxwell

Kerrville Daily Times Article

Have you ever done something crazy? I recently got myself into a situation that made me wonder if I had lost my mind. My work colleagues and I went to a local camp for an afternoon of team building activities. After a few simple things, we went to a secluded spot to do the high ropes course. I am adventurous and a risk taker, but as I got to the top of a 30-foot pole and attempted to stand on a small platform, I began to wonder if I left my brain on the ground below.

I had to remind myself this was one more thing I could check off my bucket list, and the worst that could happen is I could die and be with Jesus. Once I stood on the 2- by 4-foot platform, the next thing to do was to jump and catch a swinging bar. This part of the ropes course was called the Leap of Faith, and I concurred that it was appropriately named.

I am not afraid of much, but this was a stretch for this old girl. Attempting this was a real leap of faith for me in more ways than one and made me question my sanity.

Shaking, I finally gathered the courage I needed to jump and reach for the swinging bar that was about 6 feet away. With a yellow helmet on and all this protective gear, my feet left the small platform, and my hands tried to grab the bar. … I missed it. Thankfully, only my pride was hurt. The ropes instructor and the rope kept me safe as I took this leap of faith, and I was slowly lowered to safety.

The key here is I took the leap of faith.

As I stood on the ground, looked up and reflected on what I had just attempted, I was reminded of the scripture in Hebrews 11:6 which says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God …” (NIV)

God clearly states that faith is a vital part of the life with God. Faith is defined as belief that does not rest on proof, complete trust or confidence in someone or God. Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” (NIV)

I think God knew there would be very little in this world that we could count on. He knew we would need someone we could believe in and someone whose character would never change. God knew we would need someone secure to hang on to when nothing else made sense. The reality of life on earth is that there is risk in almost anything; therefore, we must be a people of faith. God highlighted people who trusted God in-spite of the odds that were against them. Hebrews 11 lists many people of faith. Some of these individuals faced incredible things but kept believing God no matter what. They believed in what they could not see, and God honored them.

Hebrews 11:13 says, “And these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised. They only saw them and welcomed them from a distance.”

We can conclude that real people of faith do not

always get to see in this life the things they believe for.

The key is that they keep trusting God and hang on to faith no matter what happens.

I know a woman whose grandson has been very ill for a long time. I know this family has been praying for healing for a long time and yet it hasn’t come yet. I recently told this woman how much I admired her because it is easy to believe when our prayers are answered and miracles happen. I honored her because I know, as a young widow, what it is like to fight with faith for those we love and still watch them suffer. Our faith is tested when we believe and prayers are not answered. Yet God still catches us and helps us when we take those leaps of faith, and it looks like we or God failed. Again, faith is defined as belief that does not rest on proof.

We often look for the end result of what we are praying for, and I believe we often miss what God is trying to teach us in the process. I know I have learned so much about God’s faithfulness and His ability to walk me through deep and dark valleys of watching those I love suffer and die. I don’t like hard times anymore than the next person, but I do know that my intimacy and dependency on God has increased as my faith has been tested.

Faith makes us reach beyond our own ability. Faith pleases God. Faith makes life exciting, and I have yet to meet a person full of faith and full of fear. Fearful people need a serious upgrade in their faith because faith and fear are opposites. Fear intimidates and looks at what will not happen while faith looks for what can happen.

Hope is a feeling of expectation while faith rests in complete confidence and trust. II Corinthians 1:24 says, “...for it is by faith you stand firm.” Our faith, complete confidence and trust, must be in the character of God. He always is faithful and loving us. He will catch us, help us through our circumstances, as we look in faith to Him.

I love walking with God through life. Not all circumstances are joyful, but walking with Him is full of adventure. I never know what is around the corner, but I know He is with me. (Psalms 73:23) My faith rests in his faithfulness to see me through whatever is ahead.

As crazy as it was to climb a 30 foot pole, stand on a very small platform and jump to a swinging bar, God reminded me that afternoon to simply take the next leap of faith. I might miss, but that is OK. I don’t know much, but I know Him and he will catch me.

Where does your faith rest? Were your prayers not answered as you wanted but you are still walking with God and trusting in his faithfulness? If so, your faith pleases Him and He delights in you.

2012-01-24T21:59:00.001-06:00

Family Pic last week

The past several weeks have been filled with kids, dogs, fun, work and family. Laura, my sweet daughter-in-law lost her father. It was sudden and Bob Parsons will certainly be missed. It is hard to believe that both Austin and Laura have lost their dad's at such an early age. I have no doubt that God will use them in the days ahead to help others who have lost loved ones as they both have compassionate hearts.

I loved having all 5 of my kids in for a few days. It was an incredible gift to me and I am so thankful. It was fun hearing them laugh, chat, and just being together. We shared a few breakfasts together and late night chats by the fire. For the time being, I have grand dogs instead of grandkids. I will wait patiently but in the mean time, it seemed like a zoo around here. Austin and Laura have a new Golden Retriever puppy named Finley and Mal and Rob have Jonah.
Work has kept me quite busy recently as I am preparing my students for the workforce. Some days I feel I make great progress an other days I wonder. It is a very busy job. My 27 students and coworkers make it very interesting. I have had to work a lot of overtime recently. Pioneering something new isn't easy.

Price is back at college and this is his "last first day of school picture." For years I made the kids pose for the first day of school pictures. This is the end of an era. I am so proud of Price as he will graduate in May. He has worked hard and done well. He is 6'4 and quite big. He hunted a good bit on his Christmas break and my freezer is full of deer.
God continues to show me how dearly loved I am by Him and his faithfulness. He is my security, my strength, the one who holds my hand as I step out daily and try to figure out how to live life alone. It has certainly been an adventure lately.

This is a strengthening season in my life and I have felt the Lord say "Dance with me thru the valley." Isaiah 42:1 and 16 have spoken to me lately. "Here is my servant, whom I uphold,

my chosen one in whom I delight....I will lead the blind by ways they have not known. Along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These things I will do. I will not forsake them." Yea God!

Thirty one years ago today, I was in labor. Austin Maxwell entered the world on January 25, 1981. What a gift his life has been to me as well as many. Happy Happy Birthday Austin!

I continue to work with helping Brad McCullough in his race for District 198 District Attorney. He is a great man and will represent our district well. Go Brad Go!

Are You Your Worst Enemy?

2012-01-15T19:36:00.001-06:00

Kerrville Daily Times

January 5th,2012

Kathleen Maxwell

Faith Section Article

Are You Your Worst Enemy?

The year 2012 is here and with it comes a chance for new beginnings for each of us. What do you want to start fresh this year? I am very happy to see a new year with new opportunities.

Maybe you need to start over this year with a new attitude toward someone, or you need to start exercising more. Perhaps you need to be more disciplined in an area or quit complaining so much. Establishing anything new takes patience because there is a learning curve with new ways of living or establishing new habits. I have discovered there are a few components that help make starting over successful: Patience with oneself and others, a determination to press on, forgiving and forgetting.

To be successful at anything takes determination. I remember talking to my grandfather years ago, he had been married to my grandmother for more than 65 years. I asked him what their secret was to staying married so long. He said, “Just never quit.” That was simple but good advice. Most people fail at things because they quit too soon or get discouraged. Winners don’t quit and often times have to encourage themselves to press through. The book of Psalms is full of David encouraging himself as he attempts to battle discouragement. Psalms 42:5 says, “Why so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God.” David encouraged himself on days when you could tell he was tempted to quit.

Abraham Lincoln failed at a number of things before he was successful. He failed as a farmer, a shopkeeper, his first attempt at political office, a business man, his first attempt at Congress and the U.S. Senate. That could be a little discouraging, but our famous president was determined. He didn’t quit and pressed on with the things he knew he was meant to do. He also lost two children at young ages. That is a lot to overcome, but he kept pressing on.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. Beginning new habits or beginning again in anything, we need to face the reality that we are on a learning curve, which means we are likely to make some mistakes or even fail at our first attempt at something new. Sometimes we can get frustrated and mad at ourselves when we fail. This only leads to more turmoil within ourselves and robs us of peace. Jesus paid a great price for us to have peace but we often ignore the peace we could enjoy. We all want to do well in life, and many times I have seen in my own life I have a greater expectations of myself than I do others.

One time, I remember someone saying to me, “Kathleen, the devil doesn’t have to bother attacking you, you attack yourself.” At first, I got mad at the statement and the person who said it, but it made me think. There was an element of truth to the words, and I had to admit it. Any time someone makes us mad, we need to ask ourselves if there is any element of truth in what they have said. It might not be “the truth,” but there might be an element of truth in their statement, otherwise we wouldn’t get mad. Pride often gets in the way.

I have seen many people act as judge and jury and punish themselves far worse than anyone else would, especially God. Scripture says, “When we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.”

God is not a God that keeps making us pay for our mistakes. Yes, there are consequences to our sin, but God is quick to forgive and forget when we come to Him with repentant hearts. If God forgives us, why do so many people refuse to forgive themselves and therefore, keep punishing themselves? There is rest for our souls and peace when we simply accept His gift of forgiveness. If you are lacking in rest and peace, you might consider forgiving others or yourself.

The beauty of a relationship with God is that His love and mercy are new every morning. Fresh love and brand new mercy each day. What more could we want?

Psalms 86 says, “But thou, O Lord, art a God full of compassion, and gracious, long-suffering, and plenteous in mercy and truth.”(NIV)

Mercy is defined as a compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or someone subject to one’s power. How much mercy do you show yourself? Do you keep punishing yourself for your failures? What often happens is when we don’t like ourselves and don’t admit it and release ourselves from mistakes made, we often don’t extend mercy to others and are quick to find fault with them. To give mercy to others, first we have to receive it ourselves.

Pressing on in establishing new things often begins with changing our mindset about the past. Way too many times we rehash and dwell on things in our past. Dwelling on negative things in our past keeps us stuck.

Philippians 3:13 says, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)

It is hard to put things behind us, to press on, and I find I sometimes have to ask God for help to do this. Philippians 4:8 is quick to say that we must keep our minds fixed on what is true, honorable, just, pure, winsome and gracious. These are all positive things, not negative.

Philippians 4:9 says, “Practice what you have learned, and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living it, and the God of peace (of undisturbed well being) will be with you.” (AMP)

We choose what our mind dwells on. Can you choose to forget the negative of last year? Can you choose to forget your failures? Can you forgive yourself as well as others? These are questions we must ask ourselves in order to embrace new opportunities and discover the wonderful things God has for us in 2012. Will you join me?

Vote For Brad McCullough for District 198 District Attroney

Holding Those That Are Letting Go

2012-01-10T21:55:00.000-06:00

Austin and Laura

I have discovered that life on this earth is one of constant letting go. The only thing we can hang on to is God. We love to hang on to people but people will move on...to another life.
This week has brought more letting go to our family. Rob, my son-in-law had to say goodbye to his grandmother this past week. Her service is tomorrow. Please remember Rob and his family at this time.
Yesterday my daughter-in-law Laura, found out that her father passed away suddenly. Austin, my oldest had to break the news to her. He loves her so and I know he hated having to give her such news.
Both of my "extra" kids have been thru tough times this week and lost those they love. My heart hurts for them as loosing those you love is not easy.
I know this has to trigger things for my own kids but my constant prayer has been that none of us get stuck in the grief process. The pain of grief is painful but is a process all must go thru to healing. It doesn't do us any good to run from the pain. It will catch up with us in time. No one likes pain but The good news is God is with us in the pain. We don't have to walk thru the valley of the shadow of death alone.
My heart hurst for my "extra" kids that have to say goodbye to those they love dearly and all I can do is let them know I love them, am praying for them, hurt with them listen and hug them.

Rob, Mallory and me!

As I reflect on my own life, I see how God has been with me every step of the way. He has sent things to delight my heart in the midsts of great pain. He is faithful every step of the way. Life on this earth is not easy. Please pray for our family at this time.

Light In The Darkness

2012-01-08T21:38:00.001-06:00

Today three years ago, January 8, 2009, our lives changed forever. Joe went in for a simple doctor's appointment and we began the battle to fight cancer. Our family as we knew it began to unravel. There was a rest and peace over me today. In some ways it seems like yesterday and in others it seems like many years when I look at the many changes in my life. I know one thing. I am much stronger than I ever imagined and am amazed I am still alive and smiling. By God's amazing grace, life goes on.

Our healing journey continues. Today at church they sang a song that our family held on to when Joe was sick. The name of the song is Healer. The words are, "You hold my every moment, you calm my raging sea, you walk with me thru fire, you heal all my disease. I trust in you, I trust in you. I believe that you're my healer, I believe you're all I need." It stung when the song began to play and I felt tears begin to spill down my cheeks. Mal and Price were at church with me and the song was difficult for all of us. For me, I have chosen not to run from the pain but to embrace it and endure it. I don't like it but I know in the long run it is the best way to handle grief. I sang this song today differently than I did 3 years ago. Three years ago we sang it clinging to the words for Joe's healing. Now I sing it hanging on to healing for all our hearts. I also could sing with confidence and authority the part that says, "you hold my every moment, calm my raging sea and walk with me thru the fire." I have lived them...they aren't just words. It is wonderful when God heals like we pray for. It is painful for those left behind when God doesn't. To me, the journey when God does not heal is a true walk of faith as we continue trusting in God although we didn't get the miracle we asked for.That is where the rubber meets the road in life.

I had a wonderful surprise this weekend. Mallory came in unexpectedly and stayed with us as Rob went hunting with his office gang. It was a great gift to have her around and somehow for about 36 hours life felt normal again. I loved sitting and visiting with her and doing girl things together. Price and Mallory took me to the River Walk in San Antonio to celebrate my birthday and we had a great time. I have much to be thankful for in 2012 and will look for the adventures this year holds.

Happy 2012

2012-01-01T19:26:00.001-06:00

Tammy helping me celebrate my birthday

Happy 2012 to everyone! As I reflect on the past year, I have to smile at God's goodness in the midsts of the hardest year I have faced. I remember at the beginning of 2011 I felt God told me he would sustain me this year. Sustain means to "keep up, to maintain, to prolong." God promises to sustain the fatherless and the widows and I clung to that fact. Somehow and someway God has sustained me. I am thankful. 2011 started with me being wiped out from numerous hospitalizations (nine to be exact) with my parents. I was exhausted and not sure how I would keep going. I am thankful for good friends that helped cheer me on and love me thru this year.

Christmas 2011

A highlight of 2011 - UT Football with Price

Brad McCullough for 198 District Attorney

Change, pain, and determination are three words that describe 2011 for me. I also have to say growth, new adventures and comfortable in my skin describe the past year. There is a strong determination in me to grow in each change and with each painful thing I had to embrace. I am determined to grow in the hardships of my life. This takes lots of energy but it is worth it. I hate to waste trials and disappointments. I have learned more about who I am as a single woman standing all alone in my life. I know who I am, I know where I am going, I just don't know how I will get there. There is a new security in me. I have learned to step out and try things I never thought of like politics, writing for the newspaper and a new job.

Love my girl!

Most of all, I have discovered who I am without a husband or my kids. My kids are all grown now with their own lives. Joe and I raised them to be independent and they are. Sure there are things I want to change about me but I like how God made me and am secure in my identity and love discovering more about who I am. I believe the more you love who you are, the more you can love others around you. Far too many people don't like or love themselves and therefore have difficulty loving others.
Although 2011 was very challenging and painful for me, there were many things that made me smile. I was able to travel some, I have loved the freedom in my life and the new friends I have made. God has brought new and different people into my life and I love the diversity. I have had a few dates during the holidays and that has made life interesting! My life certainly is not what I expected it to be at this time in my life but it is my life and I have learned to hold His hand and keep walking.

Tired of taking pictures

Holding a friend's baby! A little miracle! Baby Brayden

Crisis At Christmas Is Nothing New

2011-12-24T22:00:00.001-06:00

Christmas last year

Merry Christmas to all! I hope this finds you enjoying the season. It has been a fun and busy week for me with lots of adventure!

My sister and her family are here for the holidays so life is busy with my 3 nephews and all the Christmas preparations. Children make life fun. Christmas day will be spent with my parents, Price, my sister and her family and Mal and Rob will come in sometime in the afternoon.

Below is the article that appeared in the Kerrville Daily Times this week.

Crisis Is Nothing New At Christmas

Kerrville Daily Times Article

December 23rd, 2011

Kathleen Maxwell

Have you ever made plans and things just didn’t turn out the way you expected? I have to say there have been many things that haven’t turned out the way I had expected or planned. Two thousand years ago, things were not going the way Mary and Joseph had planned either. They were in love and engaged. I am sure, like most couples, they had held hands and chatted about their dreams together.

Suddenly an angel appeared to Mary and told her of another plan. This plan was one that actually put her in danger of much judgement and even possible death. It was not OK for a girl to be expecting without being married. From Joseph’s point of view, he had to really decide how much he loved and trusted Mary. Seriously, this story is a little out there; however, I believe it is true. God is not always predictable and doesn’t always do things the way we expect. I guess that is why it is called a walk of faith. God sent Jesus to be Immanuel, which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

When you think about it, what more could we really want in life other than for God to be with us in every situation in life. What an incredible gift! I found myself the other day in an unexpected situation that could have been quite intense but I had been singing earlier that morning, “Come let us adore Him.” That song kept ringing in my ears in the midst of the situation. I was at perfect peace. The focus of my day was adoring Him. I think the problem is that most of us don’t remember to use the gift that has been given in Jesus. We can be at perfect peace in any situation if we choose and hold His hand and make Him our focus.

Let’s go back to the Christmas story. There was crisis in Bethlehem. Mary was expecting and wasn’t married. There was no place for them to stay when they arrived in Bethlehem to give birth. Joseph had to trust that Mary was being honest with him and then there is an order to kill all the babies under two in the neighborhood. Can you imagine if Obama declared to kill all the baby boys under two? It would certainly be a national crisis. We really don’t have anything to complain about.

Maybe your crisis is different. Maybe it is a divorce you didn’t want. Perhaps it is the death of a loved one or someone you love is very sick. It could be a financial crisis you are looking at. It might be that you have someone you love caught in an addiction and it is destroying your relationship. Crisis sometimes barges in unannounced and makes itself at home.

Mary chose to focus on God and the precious gift she was given that I am sure she didn’t understand. This is a good lesson for us. Focus on God in the midst of crisis is what will keep us moving through the crisis and give us peace. The alternative is to be overwhelmed by our circumstances. She didn’t have to understand, she loved God and focused on Him and loved Joseph. This is good advice. As believers, we often are way too judgmental and simply need to focus on God and love those he puts around us. Actually, Jesus came so we could not only have the capacity to love those that love us but to love those that don’t. We don’t have to understand or figure things out, we simply need to love as Jesus did. When we do that, our trust grows in our Savior.

If we don’t focus on God in the midst of crisis, we will miss the gifts in the crisis.

In the midst of any crisis there are blessings. The problem is we often have to look hard enough to find them. As I have journeyed the past three years watching my late husband battle cancer and then leave this Earth, I can say I have encountered crisis that, often times, felt like a nightmare after my father was hospitalized nine times in the 18 months that followed. There were times I wasn’t sure I was going to survive the trauma, but I kept my focus on God. It was all I had to hang on to. In the midst of all the disappointments, I have found numerous blessings and know God in a way I had never experienced in my 42 years as a Christian. I will have to confess, it has taken a discipline to focus on the gifts in my crisis and some days I haven’t done so well.

Often times at Christmas I give gifts and I wonder if people will like them, but God was pretty confident in the gift he gave.

In Isaiah 9:6, 7 he tells about the gift of Jesus. He describes him as, “Wonderful counselor, Mighty God, Prince of Peace.” Wonderful counselor means Jesus is our go between. He goes between us and any problem we have. Mighty God means He is bigger than any problem we face. Prince of Peace says that we have a God-given right to walk in peace in any situation. Jesus came to be our Prince of Peace. That means we have an escort in any situation. A prince rules and escorts. For me personally, I often picture myself being escorted by Him and overwhelming peace comes over me.

Luke 1:37, Mary replied to God in the midst of her crisis, “Be it unto me, according to your word.” She said yes to God. She trusted Him. She embraced her trial, focused on Him and let God escort her thru the situation; then she discovered the most incredible gift.

Can you follow Mary’s example? Can I? Have you accepted the gift of Jesus? It is a question we must all ask ourselves. If we do, we just might discover the most incredible gifts of life.

Holiday 2011

2011-12-19T06:21:00.001-06:00

"Rejoice in your past because it got you where you are today." This is a quote from Bob Jones and I love it. It has been a great way to reframe the challenging things of life. It is true. I was telling a friend yesterday that I will never be the same because of what I have walked thru. It has reshaped me and this is a good thing.

Christmas past...Maxwell dog pile. Is that Austin on the bottom?

This holiday will be different. Austin and Laura will not be able to come home and we will really miss them. Mal and Rob will be with his family Christmas Eve and until Christmas afternoon. Looks like it will just be Price and me to get all the stocking stuffers! We will celebrate with my sister and brother and their families at my parents home. Different seems to be the name of things for me but here we go! I will miss my big kids...
This holiday season, I am so thankful for all of you that have walked with me thru life, held my hand when I needed it and prayed for me and my family. Thank you for your faithfulness and love and I pray blessings on you and yours.

Love That Overcomes Fear

Kathleen Maxwell

Kerrville Daily Times Article

November 10th, 2011

The longer I walk with God, the more I realize I need a fresh revelation of His love for me. I think most of us could use an upgrade when it comes to comprehending God’s love for us. Scripture is clear about the connection between the love of God and fear.

I John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love.But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who is fears is not made perfect in love.” (NIV) The more we live in an understanding of how radically loved we are, the more confident and secure we are.

Fear torments and is like punishment. God’s heart for us as his kids is to be free to enjoy life and live secure in his love. I feel it is imperative that we treat fear as a robber or thief instead house guest. I think I was the queen of excuses guarding the fears I had in my life. Actually, I thought they were just a part of normal life until God began to gently challenge me and show me more about his love for me. Now when I realize I am afraid, timid or hesitant I ask God for a greater revelation of His love for me.

One of the biggest fears many face, is the fear of the unknown. It often paralyzes people and keeps us stuck and from living a life of faith. In reality, life is full of the unknown. So many times we want a guarantee before we step into the unknown but the only thing we can really rely on in life is the love of God and the fact that he promises to be with us in life. This was something I learned when my mother was stricken with a debilitating rare disease. There were many days after she was ill that I was tormented by the unknown and the fear of loosing her. One of the blessings of her illness was I learned a very valuable life lesson; God is always with me. That is powerful and has given me an unshakable confidence.

Hebrews 10:38-39 says, “But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him. But we are not those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.” (NIV) God’s heart is for his kids to live lives confidant and courageous. Actually, God rewards our confidence in him. Hebrews 10:35 says, “So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded.” What a win/win situation for us!

Fearless people give others confidence. Have you ever noticed that after watching a great movie when an ordinary person steps beyond all odds and wins, it makes you feel like you can overcomer too? As we conquer our fears,our own fearlessness helps others walk out of their fears. Overcoming your own fears is not just about you but also about those God wants you to impact. We must see the bigger picture in overcoming our fears.

What about another common fear, the fear of believing again? I remember years ago I went through a time when month after month there were major obstacles in my life. There were family heart aches, our new car was stolen, a close friend suddenly died, our baby had pneumonia, my children all got pink eye and then my daughter went to a slumber party and came home with lice! In the middle of all that, my marriage was difficult. When there was finally a break in the trials, I found it difficult to believe again. In God’s kindness, he slowly used these difficulties to tear down my self erected walls of protection. He showed me he was more than able to protect me and that I could trust his love for me.

Are you afraid to believe again? Maybe you are a captive to doubt and unbelief.Trial after trial can lead us to loose faith if we are not careful. That is when we need others to cheer us on to help us believe again and walk in faith. Sometimes we need others to pull us out of the trap of disappointments

Another fear I have battled is a fear of being hurt again. When we love like Jesus does, unconditionally, we open ourselves up to being hurt by others. That flies in the face of our logic to protect ourselves. Loving unconditionally is the way Jesus loves. Unconditional love says, “there is no condition you have to fulfill for me to love you.” Loving like Jesus also opens our hearts to hurt. It is easy to hide behind the walls we erect to protect ourselves but what also happens, is those walls imprison us. The good news is that when we take down those walls and love unconditionally, we also open ourselves up to a freedom to love and be loved.

The problem with too many Christians is we preach the love of God but do not really live it in giving love or opening our hearts to it. Jesus talked about those that would be great in the kingdom of God. He challenges us in Matthew 18:2-4, “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: I tell you the truth, unless you become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like a child is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Little children are open to love. Their hearts have a purity and they fully trust. Jesus admonishes us to be childlike, openhearted.

The problem we all face is we encounter sinful people, dishonest or insecure leaders, spouses that betray us and we build walls and pitch our childlike wonder and vulnerability to the wind. The challenge for all of us is to humble ourselves and be vulnerable to love, and be loved. How childlike and vulnerable are you?

God’s healing is here for us when we realize we have self erected walls and repent of building them and not trusting God. Why not join me today in asking God to help you tear down your walls, love unconditionally as a little child, and ask him to restore our childlike innocence to receive His love and unconditionally love others? We could be a powerful force of love and transform our community.

Kathleen Maxwell is a native of the Hill Country, educator, writer and speaker. She is passionate about helping others discover the joy of walking with God and their value. You can contact her at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com and on her blog www.themaxwellminutes.blogspot.com

God Is With You In Your Grief and Pain

2011-12-11T19:26:00.001-06:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year...yes it is. The key is we have to keep looking for the wonderful.
One highlight this past week was that I was asked to speak to a Young Adult Class at my church. Seven of my current students from YouthBuild attended and I loved watching God touch their hearts. I also loved getting to be with another group of people from my church that I don't normally rub shoulders with. I also was invited to the CWJC Christmas Party and was able to stop by for a few minutes and see some of my former students. It warmed my heart to hear of how well some of them are doing. One graduating from nursing school, another the leader of an Officer's Wives Club in the Army, another's testimony of more freedom. Yea God! It was a blessing to attend.
God continues to encourage me daily and reminds me of his goodness to me as I go through another holiday without Joe. I don't really know how people do without God.
December 17th I will say goodbye to 51 and hello to 52...I honestly do not feel that old but my birth certificate says otherwise.
Below is an article that appeared in our local paper this Friday. I have heard from several grieving people that were touched by it. Somehow God continues to work me although at times I just look for energy to get through the day.

Fun Christmas Memories

Kerrville Daily Times Article
Kathleen Maxwell
December 9th, 2011
The holidays can often times be painful for those of us that have lost loved ones. Holidays can remind people of joyful times spent with those that are not with us anymore. Many can struggle with grief during the Christmas season that may have been swept under the carpet the rest of the year.

Grief seems to barge in at the most unexpected times, I guess all the lights we have up in this season make grief think it too is invited to the celebration of the season. For example, the other day I was planning a holiday party and talking to a woman in a local restaurant. The conversation began to change after we finished preparations and she asked me a question about marriage. I answered with, “Early on in our relationship...but right before our relationship ended...” All of a sudden the words I spoke brought tears to my eyes. I looked at her with tears beginning to spill from my eyes and said, “ Give me a minute,I have never used the words “our relationship ended.” “It really ended.” I said again.

I had said numerous times, “ My husband died”, ”Joe is gone”, “I am a widow.” but never “our relationship ended.” The words I used hit me like a ton of bricks.The relationship we shared had ended. My friend did nothing wrong in asking a question but my response triggered the pain that still lingers and the reminder that he would not be my escort to the event I was planning.

I have learned to just let the tears roll and I don’t mind crying in public although it is not my favorite thing to do. Grief is a personal process and not a one time event. It takes time and it is best to just keep walking through it and let the tears roll.

The best thing you can do as a friend to someone grieving is share their pain. Hold their hand until it passes. Let them talk. I sat next to a woman older than my mother this week at a luncheon that lost her husband of 50 years. She just needed someone to understand her pain and the challenges she faced. She needed someones love to just help her thru the luncheon that was overwhelming.

Often times grieving people can feel like God doesn’t care about their pain. This is not true. Numerous times in scripture God says He is near to the brokenhearted. Psalms 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” This life is full of pain and suffering but God did not leave us alone and knows exactly what we feel.

God recently allowed me to experience the truth of Psalms 34. I was shopping at Costco in San Antonio and was missing Joe that day as we frequently shopped together for the holidays. A wave of grief had come and and I was just trying to catch my breath again. I get tired of the waves... Suddenly a woman walked up to me and said, “I think you are the prettiest woman in this store.”

Perhaps she had forgotten her glasses in the car but I smiled gratefully, thanked her and walked on. I had never had anyone say something like that.

All of a sudden I realized that was God speaking to me. I love to encourage others to know God or see him in everyday life. I quickly turned around to find her down the next row of groceries and said, “I just want you to know God used you to bless me. I am a recent widow after 30 years of marriage and my husband frequently told me he thought I was pretty. I miss those words.”

She replied, “I am so sorry you lost him. You are so young.” “I lost my son years ago but that is not like loosing a spouse.” “I at least had my husband to share the pain.” she said.

I can only imagine her the pain of loosing a child and would not want that experience. Then words came out of her mouth that again touched my heart. “The worst part is most people don’t understand your pain because they can’t.” “They haven’t been there.”

“Never let anyone minimize your pain either.” she said with a voice of authority.

“And you miss those hugs from your husband too don’t you?” she asked.

Here I was just trying to shop and a total stranger read my mail! She reached out to hug me and I welcomed her arms. I knew God sent this woman to be His arms and voice of love to my weary soul.

We didn’t even exchange names. We didn’t need to. The most important thing was we shared the pain of not having someone with us to celebrate.

I walked away from this precious lady knowing God knew where my heart was and that He would see me through this valley. Whatever the problem, God always has a provision for us.

God sent Jesus to bind up the brokenhearted as he proclaims about Jesus coming in in Isaiah 61:1. “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives...” Binding up our broken hearts is part of Jesus job description. God has the power to heal in an instant but I find he often wants us to trust Him in our pain. Jesus suffered and in his suffering he learned obedience. He also learned how to walk with his father and trusting in God in his pain.

There are many in our retirement community that are widowed. There are also parents that have lost children. Men and women that have lost brothers, sisters, and friends. There are children that don’t have mommies or daddies around this holiday season. Maybe God wants to use you to be a gift to someone this Christmas. You never know how your kindness can be healing or encouraging to someone else just like the divine appointment I encountered.

I pray that God would show you that He knows where your heart is this holiday season and reveal to you He is Emmanuel- God with us. Let’s be a community that seeks God and allows him to use us to bless others. Will you look for your divine appointment this Christmas season?

Please let me know if this article touched your heart. You can contact me at kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com or via the blog.

2011-12-04T17:32:00.000-06:00

Fun Christmas memories

I told someone today, I am fully confidant about God and his ability to turn my ashes into something beautiful. In the mean time, the pain is still real and it hurts. There is no way to hurry grief and it always shows up and barges in the door of my life. I wonder why it has come to see me again. I never invite it to come but who does?

I seemed to get through the last week with Thanksgiving just fine but this week has been difficult. My job in very demanding and makes running the Job Corps look like a cake walk. I have had to work 3 nights until 6 and 6:30.. I am also on my 7th week of antibiotics and this has challenged me as I am not a sick person. I miss Joe. Our staff party is coming up and we were asked to bring our family, husband or significant other...I have no family here, Joe is gone and I can't think of one man in Kerr County I want to invite! No offense to anyone, maybe I just can't think of you at the moment! I breathe and I focus and sing to keep me going.

And yet, God is so faithful to let me know He knows where I am in my pain. Yesterday I was shopping in San Antonio and a woman walked up to me and said, "You are the prettiest woman in this store." I smiled and thanked her, although I don't think she must have looked at many people!

I turned around and tapped her on the shoulder and said, "I just want you to know God used you. I am a recent widow and my husband told me almost every day that he thought I was pretty, Now that he is gone, I miss those words.

Christmas 2007...note the UT hat!

She said, "Oh I am sorry for your loss; you are so young." I lost a son 16 years ago so I have some idea of your loss but that is nothing like loosing half of you. Honey, the worst is people don't understand your pain. Don't you let anyone minimize your pain. The one you have always shared your pain with is gone." "And you miss being hugged and physical contact." She read my mail as she was a friend of grief. What an amazing God I serve. He sent her to comfort me. She hugged me and walked with me a few steps. We didn't even exchange names but we were two people that understood each other.

I press on in life. I had two fundraising events this week for Brad McCullouch. I am happy to use my skills to help someone else in pursuit of their dreams. He will be a great district attorney for our community and has won 98% of the cases he has tried over the last 8 years as an assistant prosecutor. Check him out at www.bradfor198da.com

Overcoming Begins With A Grateful Heart

2011-11-29T00:09:00.002-06:00

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with my kids. Price and I went to Houston to celebrate with Mallory and Rob. You know you have done your job well when your daughter fixes a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner! It was a family affair with Rob and I working on the turkey, Price giving us his selections and Mallory and I working to make it happen. We played Corn Hole and I discovered I am not any good at that game. After our dinner, we packed up and headed to to the big UT vs. A &M game in College Station. What a game!
Personally, this Thanksgiving was not difficult for me. I was so happy to simply be with my kids. I could tell it was hard on them to not have their daddy. I tried to get them to help me decorate our Christmas tree but no one wanted to. This year I decorated by myself. In the past, decorating the tree was always such a joyous time full of tradition for all of us. It was three years ago that Joe was getting the Christmas decorations out of the attic and bumped his shoulder. It sent a shock thru his body and was the first indication that something wasn't right...
I know coming home is difficult for Mallory and Price as it is a painful reminder that Joe isn't here. It is hard as a mother when you have worked for years to make your home a refuge for your family and now it makes the pain surface. I simply keep asking God to heal their hearts and know He will be faithful.

Overcoming Any Problem Begins With A Grateful Heart

Kathleen Maxwell

November 25th, 2011

Kerrville Daily Times Article

Overcoming any problem begins with a grateful heart. Those are words to a song I heard years ago. When I first heard them, I thought, “how could that be true?” I wasn’t convinced that the writer of the song knew what she was talking about so I began to check the words out against my problems. Sure enough, no matter what it was I was challenged with, I really did not begin overcoming the situation until I began to look at what I had to be thankful for in it.

Thankfulness adjusts our attitude. Does anyone out there need an attitude adjustment? I remember my mother telling me at times to adjust my attitude. She would do so with her hands on her hips which meant I better adjust it quickly.

I Thessalonians 5:15 is our prescription for an attitude adjustment and just what Dr. God orders for His kids. It says, “Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV) God is too good to tell us to do something and not provide what we need to do it. Our job is to obey and He will supply. Our job is also to ask Him for what we need and admit we cannot do it without Him.

Sometimes overcoming begins with simply thanking God because He is good. Psalms 107:1 says, “Give thanks to the Lord for he is good and his love endures forever.” When we can’t think of anything to be thankful for, we can always start with thanking God for his love. No matter what we are going through, we can rest in the fact that we are loved by the creator of the universe. We may not always feel loved and actually be rejected by people, but nothing can separate us from God’s love for us. His love has comforted me on many a difficult day as I simply made the statement, “God I thank you that you are good and you love me.” Those words help me adjust my attitude and remind me of the truth. I have prayed this prayer to help renew my mind when it has battled looking at all I have lost in the death of my husband. No matter what my circumstances, He is good and He loves me.

Let me give you a personal example of “overcoming any problem begins with a grateful heart.” As I have walked the past three years through the world of cancer with my late husband and then trying to establish a new life as a young widow, I have relied on thanking God for what I do have vs. what I have lost. Gratefulness is my quick access to the presence of God, especially on the difficult days. His presence is what comforts me, gives me hope, helps me and is my anchor. Some days I do better than others, but scripture says in Psalms 95:2 , “Come into his presence with thanksgiving...” (KJV) If you need more of His presence, try thanksgiving. It works for me.

I sometimes talk to God like this; “God, I need your help. Your word says to give thanks in all things so all I can think to thank you for is what I will learn in this situation. Thank you for the experience I will gain. Thank you for helping me through this.” God is faithful but often times we must wait on Him and trust Him.

I do not believe God just gives us patience but He will help us to be patient. As we grow in that character, we learn the benefit of trusting His timing. God doesn’t just give us longsuffering, but He will help us endure difficult things if we look to him. I know this from personal experience as I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. Anyone can quote a scripture or pass a written test, but character is developed in the soil of difficulties.

Colossians 3:17 states how we are to conduct our lives. “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Thanks is an expression of gratitude and gratefulness. Thankful is an adjective that means pleased or relieved.How thankful are you? Do you have an overall feeling of being pleased and relieved? I personally could do better at being thankful.

I know sometimes I have to simply pray, “God change my heart.” to develop an attitude of gratitude. According to this scripture, all our words,our job and actions should be done like we were doing it just for Jesus and with a beautiful attitude of thankfulness.

At the end of the day, all of us have plenty to be thankful for. James 1:17 says,

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” All that we have that is good, is a gift from God. That is plenty to be thankful for.

Thanksgiving is not just a season in November. God intends for it to be a lifestyle. He loves for His kids to be in His presence. Let’s start today. Will you join me in thanking Him more?

;www.bradfor198da.com

Help Elect this man!

www.

Still Alive

2011-11-20T22:36:00.004-06:00

I know it has been two weeks since I have written which is not normal for me but I just couldn't seem to get around to it. I have spent some time with Price. I realize this is the tail end of 31 years of motherhood as I have known it and want to cherish each moment. I love my baby! By the way, he has a job when he graduates in May with Schlumberger in Houston. I am so proud of him.
Physically I have been battling an infection in my adenoids and am on my 5th week of antibotics. I also discovered I am anemic which has made it hard to to have extra energy. Both of these have made me weary and cramp my style. Friday night I was asleep by 8:30! My immune system is down and i work around young people. I will continue to try to build it up and pray I get well real soon!

Speaking of young people, I had the honor of leading one of my students to the Lord the other day. I was visiting her in the hospital and as we were visiting I asked her if she knew what a relationship with Jesus was about. She said no but wanted to, so I shared with her. She said she wanted a bible and then asked to pray. As I finished the prayer of salvation, the door opened and a lady walked in that was from my church and you will never guess what she had in her gift bag...a bible! The young girl immediately saw God's goodness and how He heard her prayer. It was wonderful and there is nothing better than than the joy of leading someone to the Lord.

I enjoy my new job and working with the 27 boys and 7 girls. This past week we had a Thanksgiving Dinner to celebrate and to practice the social skills I have been teaching them. We also were in the Holiday Parade and they built the playhouse in this photo. The job has challenged me but I know this is where God has assigned me. I know my job is to show them His unconditional love and they are responding to it. Each day is a new adventure and is action packed. There is never a dull moment that is for sure! My life now consists of walking down the street in parades to rap music with the kids! They actually built the house in the video below.

One of my students and her baby

The Holiday Parade Float

Some of my Youth Build kids

My lemon tree! - determined to bear good fruit one way or another!

I have a new life in local politics helping Brad McCullouch in his campaign for District Attorney in District 198. I am learning a lot being his Campaign Manager and it is an honor to help him. I really believe he can make a difference in our community and keep District 198 a safe place. Check out his website and let's help get this godly man in office. The primary is in March but it will be here before we know it. I also have this link on the front of my blog http://www.bradfor198da.com.

I am looking forward to the holidays this year. The last few years I wasn't really looking forward to them without Joe but I am more settled now. The past two years have been brutal for me in more ways than one. I remember a widow telling me the second year was harder than the first and I couldn't imagine but it was for me too. I am thankful to begin year three. It is a time of hiddenness for me and I am gaining much experience in things I never wanted to experience but that is where we gain power. Inspiration moves us to revelation and revelation moves us to encounter. Encounter or experience moves us to transformation and power and that is awesome! I am developing in preserving and know He is preparing me for something...I just don't know what yet! I do know that there are things I will write about in the future but just can't right now. God daily encourages me in various ways. His comfort and kindness amaze me. I frequently have people I don't know stop me in town and thank me for the articles I write for the local faith section in our newspaper. I guess it shows God can use anybody! Happy Thanksgiving to all

My Longhorn and The Silent Enemy

2011-11-06T22:19:00.000-06:00

This weekend I went to Austin to go to the University of Texas vs. Texas Tech football game. It was a wonderful time visiting with Price, his friends, and the friends I went with. The crisp autumn breeze made the game almost picture perfect.
My mom turned 75 last month. This was a good picture of her holding her 51 year old baby!
Below is my latest article that appeared in the Kerrville Daily Times. Hope you enjoy it!

The Silent Enemy

Kerrville Daily Times

October 28th, 2011

Kathleen Maxwell

I was with a group of people recently and as we were talking, a lady began to talk about different fears she had. She was talking about them as if she were proud of her fears. As I listened, I had to think of how far off base society has gotten from God’s intention for us.

Numerous times in scripture, God instructs and warns us not to play with fear. Isaiah 43:5 says,”Do not be afraid, for I am with you;” When we walk with God, we have the opportunity to step beyond ourselves knowing we are not alone. The problem is most of us entertain fear like it is a guest in our house instead of treating it like it is trespassing. Fear has robbed me too many times of opportunities.

Most of us do not go around talking about fears we battle, but I think fear is a silent enemy that whispers way too often in our ears. I believe fear is doubt and unbelief and doubt and unbelief is not trusting God. We were created to trust and walk with God. Fear’s main goal is to cause us to doubt the goodness of God and His love for us.

One of the main things fear does is try to keep us down and from reaching our potential. Jesus said in John 10:10, “I have come that you may have life and life to the full.” A fear filled life is not a full one. I can testify to that! For many hears I struggled with a fear of rejection, fear of looking stupid, fear of what others thought, fear of failure or making a mistake, just to name a few. For the longest time I thought I was the only one that had this battle. I now know many others struggle also.

God created us to be courageous because we are made in his image. He is not the least bit afraid of anything or anybody because He knows his power is supreme. He is confidant in who he is and wants us to be the same way. My thought is that is easier said than done!

When God called Joshua to lead the others into a wonderful life and what he had promised, God gave Joshua specific instructions over and over again to be strong and courageous. He knew they would have to battle against their inadequacies to step into a better life. Joshua 1:7 he says, “Be strong and very courageous.” Next he command Joshua and said, “Only be strong and courageous.” Being strong means to stand your ground.God had given the people a wonderful opportunity but they had to hang on to the place they were blessed with and not be intimidated by the giants. One thing I have learned in life is that walking with God, he frequently takes us out of our comfort zone just like he did Joshua. I firmly believe if we are going to fulfill our destiny we are going to have to step on our fears and follow the words written in Joshua. We have an opportunity to walk in rightousness, peace and joy but we will have to stand our ground and believe that we deserve these gifts because God says.

Another fear I have had to face, is a fear of rejection. There is risk in loving others and being in relationship with people. One thing for sure, at some time in life, all of us will face the fear of rejection. What I have discovered is if we are ever going to be someone who makes a difference, we will have to battle fear of being rejected. I love the words of Isaiah 41:9 which says, “You are my servant; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

We see in this scripture that we are chosen and accepted. Believing that scripture and walking in it makes you powerful to overcome rejection. It sounds simple but it actually takes a retraining of our mind and healing of our heart when rejection or exclusion arrows are thrown at us.

What about a fear of looking stupid? Who likes to look like they lack intelligence? No one, if we all answer honestly. The truth is we all have things we need to learn, and the best way to learn is to ask questions. Often times we feel if we ask a question, others will think we are stupid. Wise people are those that listen and ask questions. Sometimes the best thing we can say is “I just don’t know” and admit our need to learn.

Fear of making a mistake can keep us from reaching our potential. There is risk with stepping “out there” and risking making a mistake. Actually, often times our greatest mistakes can be our best teachers. Don’t let a fear of making a mistake hold you back.

I have a new job working with young people that have encountered major obstacles in their lives. They are establishing new life patterns and that is hard work. They are also working on their education and learning to serve others. What they are learning takes time to master. I am passionate about helping them and others discover their potential and value.

Scripture says in Isaiah 35:3, “Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, Be strong, do not fear; your God will come. he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you.” I believe it is imperative that I cheer and motivate these young people and strengthen them to help them overcome. Encouragement breeds courage. All of us need it. Especially those that find themselves in the ashes of life. Harshness and insensitivity never encourages people.

I want to challenge you to examine your life and see what fears you need to be set free of. Fear is bondage and Christ has come to set us free. I believe it is time we learn to stand up on the inside and become the confident men and women God intended. Will you join me in not tolerating intimidation and fear?

Kathleen

Variety Makes Life

2011-11-01T22:19:00.000-05:00

I am not sure what the word normal means anymore but I know my life is not normal. Nothing in it is remotely similar to what it was a few years ago. But change is good- at least that is what I tell myself.
Last week I was talking to my dad. He asked about my week and I told him I was going to swing dance class with another couple. He said, "Well for what it is worth, I don't approve. You have no idea who you are dancing with." "Dad," I replied, "There was a time when you could tell me who to dance with, if I could dance and what time to be home. Those days are over. I am 51 and I am going dancing!" I have to love him still trying to protect his daughter. Swing dancing is lots of fun and a great workout.

My job is challenging but I love the kids. I have no doubt that this is my new assignment from God. The kids call me Mama Max and really I feel like I teach them a few things about job preparation but most of all I simply love them and help them with life problems. The other day we were going on a field trip. I was driving an old van and it is full of boys 16-24. One of them says, "Mama Max, you are the only woman with blond hair that drives around with her own gang in her van." I said, "I know and you all are hurting my single image...how am I ever going to get a good date driving a van full of kids?" On the other hand, I don't have the time or energy for a man!
My heart seems settled and I feel like I am beginning to find some rhythm to my life. I am seldom at a loss for something to do. My free time is spent writing, helping with Brad McCullouch's political race for District Attorney and his fundraising events, helping my parents, and with friends. There are different people in my life now as God has expanded my world. I am thankful for the opportunity. It is a new season.

God continues to work on my heart. I love his comfort and how he continues to speak tender words to restore me and show me who I am. I know I am in a time of accelerated development and I have said yes to the training. I know the things I face to overcome are part of the development.

Price has had 5 job interviews and two offers. He is set to graduate from University of Texas in . I was thinking the other day of how I will get a raise next summer when he is off my insurance and on his own! I cannot believe I am coming to the end of 31 years of mothering and raising kids. I enjoyed tailgating with him at the UT game and plan to go to some other games.

email me to keep in touch - I am interested in your thoughts and comments

www.themaswellminutes.blog

kathleenmaxwell1@gmail.com

Fear Is Not Your Friend!

2011-10-23T21:52:00.000-05:00

Fear Is Not Your Friend

by Kathleen Maxwell

Kerrville Daily Times

October 14,2011

Recently I have talked to a number of people that have struggled with different fears. I can certainly relate as for years I was a vicim of a variety of fears. Thankfully God has set me free from the bondage fear brings.

Fear is defined as: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain or a threat. The feeling of anxiety about the outcome of something or the safety and well being of someone.

One thing is for sure, fear is tormenting. Fear is a thief and a robber of peace, joy and tranquility. I speak from experience.

Stepping into a new world- Helping a friend in his dream to make a difference
Local parade

There are many different kinds of fear. A few that I have struggled with in the past were a fear of death, fear of germs, fear of failure, and fear of the dark. I have found that many people struggle with the same fears that held me captive for years. I was good at justifying them telling my self that one could never be too cautious.

One day I heard the words, “Fear is doubt and unbelief and doubt and unbelief is not trusting God - that is sin.” At that moment, I knew I could no longer justify my fears. Whenever I faced them, began to acknowledge them as sin.God graciously began to set me free as I was faithful to repent and resist the temptation to walk in fear. Repentance is always our friend and is found on the path to freedom.

IITimothy 1:7 states, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.” We can conclude from this passage that fear is a spirit and it is not from God; therefore, it is not our friend. There are times when I have simply said the words, “Fear go, you are not my friend.” As long as we coddle our fears, they will hang around. We must deal ruthlessly with them if we want to get free.

I love Isaiah 41:10 which says, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Many times I have pictured myself holding God’s hand and that gives me great courage. Dismayed means feelings of anxiety and consternation, usually by something unexpected. Have you ever had something unexpected happen? I have.

When the doctor told my husband he had a rare cancer, I remember my first words to my husband were, “We have just had a suddenly.” Joe knew what I meant by the statement as we had talked about others in the Bible that encountered sudden challenges. One minute things were one way, and the next minute life was threatened. I can say God faithfully strengthened me, helped me and upheld me in the fight for his life.

Proverbs 3:25 tells us, “Be not afraid of sudden fear....” Satan loves to make us feel scared because then we are intimidated. Intimidation has one goal; to scare us from even engaging in the battle. Goliath used intimidation on David but David did not bow to fear. He quickly strengthened himself by remembering how God helped him slay a bear and a lion. I love David’s faith filled response to intimidation. He told the bellowing giant he would strike him down, cut off his head and give his carcasses to the birds!

Now those are some faith filled words!

Prior to a personal relationship with God I was terrified of dying. I had trouble sleeping at night for fear I might die. Once I accepted Jesus into my heart and repented of the fear, I was no longer afraid of dying. Knowing God personally, is the beginning of overcoming fear. Tell God you want a personal relationship with him. He will be delighted!

I will confess that as a grown woman in my 30’s I was also afraid of the dark. I remember reading about how fear was not from God looking out my back door one night. I was afraid to go get something in the yard. I certainly did not want my children to know my fear because I wanted them confidant and secure. Then it dawned on me that is what God wanted for me. I confessed my fear to God and asked him to set me free. He did and now I jog alone at night! That is true freedom!

I love the slogan from the US Navy and think we should make it our motto against any fears. “Life liberty and the pursuit of all who threaten it.” God wants us to enjoy life, our freedom and get rid of any fear that would threaten us. Fear is an enemy, not our friend.What are you afraid of?

Youth Build Boys learning how to build Freedom is waiting...what are you afraid o

Wake Up!

2011-10-16T22:12:00.001-05:00

This weekend I went to Austin Texas and had a fabulous time tailgating at the UT game with Price. It was a new adventure as I went with several couples but lots of fun. I loved meeting Price's friends but we won't talk about how UT did in the game.
Below is one of my recent articles published in the Kerrville Daily Times

Wake Up!
Kathleen Maxwell
September 30th, 2011
It was a hot Texas day in August when my late husband and I walked out of the Kerr County Court House. As we walked, we talked about the business we had just sold. All of a sudden I halted and said, “Oh my gosh, who am I?”

He quickly replied, “What are you talking about Kathleen?”

“Everyone in town knows me as Kathleen Maxwell-Gymnastics, Etc. We just sold the name so who am I now?”

“You think that’s bad, “ he said laughing. “Everybody knows me as Mr. Kathleen.” I smiled as he kissed me and thought how I loved that he was never threatened by my gifts or talents. But the question of who am I now, still haunted me. I was serious about the question.

Here I was in my early 30’s and I had to admit that I didn’t know who I really was. I had done what many people do. I got my identity in my occupation. I also realized that I got my identity as a wife, mother and in other accomplishments. I began to ask God to show me who I am in His eyes and who he created me to be. This was the beginning of a journey I am still on. Discovering who I really am and my truest identity.

The first thing God showed me about my identity was when I read Psalms 8:4 &;5 “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.”(NIV) I felt God say to me, “Kathleen, I’ve given you a crown but you don’t wear it.” I realized at that moment that I didn’t see myself as someone royal and as God saw me. I repented.

God calls me a woman of honor. He was showing me that because He is the King and I am his daughter, I have a new nature; a royal one. I began to think of how different I would act if I actually wore a crown and really made a conscious effort to remember that truth. He has crowned me with glory and honor, simply because I am His daughter. Glory means valuable. Do you see yourself as a person of honor and value or do you get your value in your accomplishment and occupation?

Psalms 103:4 is another passage that spoke to me. “Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion.” He has given us a crown of love and a crown of tender compassion. I was in a hard place when I read this scripture. I was comforted that he cares when our hearts are broken and crowns us to restore us to a better place. Seeing myself as God saw me began to restore my dignity. The self hate I struggled with for years began to be erased from my heart. We must see ourselves as He sees us or we will never fulfill our destiny. I began to realize I was part of a bigger plan; I was a woman chosen to establish His kingdom and reveal to others who He really is.

There were many in the Bible that struggled with the same issue. The great news is God sees our potential and His view point is always better than ours. In his kindness, he began the process of showing me how he saw me just like he did Gideon, Moses and Peter. They were men in scripture that God saw a full of potential and called them to a higher place.

In Judges 6, Gideon and his people were hiding. God spoke to him and said, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior.”

“But sir,” Gideon replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?”

Gideon saw all his inadequacies and problems but God saw a different guy; He saw a leader. Gideon begins to give God excuses. God ignores his whining and simply tells Gideon to go face his problem and God would be with him. He didn’t really give him a lot of information, he just said “go.” I can’t point any fingers at Gideon because I have made my own excuses to God.

In 2007 I was invited to speak at an international women’s conference in Thailand. My first response to the woman who invited me was, “I don’t speak at things like that.” I had all sorts of excuses. God saw my capability with him at my side when all I could see was myself, limitations and my inability. I agreed to pray about the invitation and asked God to change my perception of myself. Again, he changed my heart and mind and I traveled around the world to speak to women from 11 nations to help them discover their value and worth.

Many of us have read and heard that we are a new creation when we make Jesus our Lord. We have the knowledge down,can quote the scripture and understand the theory; however, many Christians just like me, need to practice it. We need to ask God to show us our persona, believe Him and practice. We need to practice today and tomorrow and the next day until we become the people God wants us to be.

For years I only had two statements of how God saw me personally. Now I have a whole page of “who I am” statements that God has shown me about how he sees me. The most recent revelation was that I am woman with a calling like Joshua. I am a Joshua woman. I am called to lead others to greater place. My “I Am” statements are a source of strength and security for me and the anchor for my life, especially in the storms. Understanding and seeing our identity proceeds us fulfilling our destiny.

Knowing how God feels about you and how you feel about Him are the two most important things in life. It is the source of our identity,security, and purpose. Too many times, we believe the hurtful things others have said about us and make it our truth. Never let other’s negative perception of you govern you. When we believe a lie about ourselves, we empower the lier.

Seeing ourselves as God sees us will empower us. I will close with one of my favorite quotes by Bill Johnson, author of The Supernatural Ways of Royalty. “ Royalty is my identity, servanthood is my assignment and intimacy is my life source.” I believe it is time we wake up to who we really are. Have you asked God to show you his perception of you? Let His perception govern your life.

Two Year Mark

2011-10-09T00:01:00.000-05:00

I stand amazed at God. I have had a great week which began when I lead a young man to the Lord. I love watching God touch hearts with his healing and love and forgiveness. It was awesome! God has also opened doors to pray with many others just as I live my life each day. I am more and more aware that the harvest is here and many are waiting for the sons and daughters of God to rise up and show the world His love. Far to many times, Christians try to preach to the world and I think the world simply needs us to model the love of Jesus. Love never fails and always remember-

PEOPLE DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU KNOW UNTIL THEY KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CARE.

The past two years of living with a broken heart has taught me much about dealing with the brokenhearted. I will never be the same (thank God!) and am thankful for this opportunity. There is no easy way to learn difficult things. It takes a lot of effort. I know I am and will be more effective in the days ahead because of the lessons I have learned.

Yesterday was Mallory's 27th birthday. I smiled yesterday morning and thanked God I wasn't in labor! I believe I have the best daughter ever. She was a delight to raise and has brought much joy to our lives. I feel so blessed that we have a great relationship and I love it now that she is grown and we are friends. We celebrated her birthday going to dinner and having a party with her friends.

Today marks the two year anniversary of when Joe left this earth. I really cannot believe I have lived two years without him. They have been the hardest two years of my life...I miss my best friend, lover, cheerleader, confidant, the one I am able to verbally process with, and the one who always saw my potential and believed in me. The loss of the above has been huge and I can say it has taken every bit of energy I possess to keep walking ahead to my dreams. There have been days I have sobbed laying face down on the floor, nights my body has literally ached from the pain of missing him, and yet I have discovered the love of God at a whole new level. It has been a good day.
There has been a peace and settling in my heart and I have surprised myself in that I have celebrated Joe's life and not shed a tear today. Yea God! Being with Mallory, Rob and Price is always a deposit in my bank. I see Joe in both of them. The only thing that would have made today better would have been to have Austin and Laura with us too. Life goes on and I am thankful for all of you that have prayed for us and carried all of us with your love.
Yea God!
Kathleen

Reflections, New Life

2011-09-29T22:09:00.001-05:00

The days just are not long enough; then there are the days that last forever! My new job has me working long hours but as I get to know the young people that have come to Youth Build, I know I am where I need to be for this season. My new life in Kerrville reminds me of when I gave birth to my kids. The days and nights were mixed up, everything was in transition and yet there was great joy.
My 37 new young adults refer to me as "Mama Max." I feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many children she didn't know what to do! The great news is they are so eager to learn a new way of life and get their education. 32 of them are boys which is quite a switch from Christian Women's Job Corps but you have less drama with guys! Pray for these young people as they are learning to overcome big obstacles. I told other day that I was a dealer...a hope dealer! They laughed. I love them and they seem to love me. I actually have several children of the ladies I worked with at CWJC. I have chuckled as I thought of the times we prayed for the women and their families. Watch what you pray for...you may be part of the answer!
With a new program comes a lot of adjusting. I have not only started a new job but am part of a new program The great news is that we are pioneering something new and powerful for Kerr County. We actually have young people coming from 5 towns and some walk miles just to be a part. We have become a family.
A friend of mine approached me recently and asked for my help. Although I didn't feel like I had much to offer, he reassured me I did. His name is Brad McCullouch and he is running for District Attorney for 198th District in the next election. I have seen Brad in action and he is a man I admire. He is the real deal. He is a man of integrity and humble. The kind of guy we need in office.
I got to know him as he served on the Board at Christian Women's Job Corps. He has been the assistant DA in Kerrville for the last few years and also was an assistant DA in Mississippi prior to coming to Kerrville. He has a precious wife and daughter and I am honored to be a part of their team. I decided one more new thing wouldn't kill me and I know how God works...he takes us out of our comfort zone to make us more dependent on Him. I will share more about that later.
I have had numerous opportunities to share recently how God heals the broken hearted. That always makes me smile. I love giving others hope. We must seize the moment as time is short and many need God's love and comfort. Living the gospel is what life is all about.
I must confess that I have struggled with missing my old life. I know some of it could be I am tired. The rest I believe is because we are approaching the anniversary of Joe's death. Grief has mind of its own and I know it is important to not fight the waves but ride them out. Two years ago today we made the trip from Houston to Kerrville so he could spend his last days at home. I miss him and my old life. I miss having someone to hug me when I come home.
Charlie and Maggie will have to do for now. Charlie is my cat. He pats my face each morning to wake me up. Maggie, my dog is always glad to see me!

God continues to encourage me with promises and words of encouragement. I recently had a woman call that I haven't heard from in a long time. She said she had a vision of me recently and felt she should share it with me. In the vision I was a beautiful rose that had been chewed on and battered. But everywhere it had been attacked, God made it stronger. Everywhere it was harmed it was an even more vibrant red. The thorns on the rose were God protecting it. She said God took a rooted plant and made it even stronger with very strong roots. This rose wouldn't bend with the wind or rain when it was shaken. It was strong but like velvet and had a very special place in God's heart. I know that word was directly from God. I have head that roses that go thru drought have an even sweeter fragrance.
"I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalms 27:13

Pressing on and pressing in-

2011-09-18T15:24:00.001-05:00

Happy weekend to all! I just want to thank those of you that have encouraged me in my writing. It helps me to continue and I am glad God has used my difficulties to help and encourage others. Some of the stories you have shared with me have amazed me. I told someone the other day if someone would have told me two years ago I would be writing for the paper I would have told them they were crazy. I am the girl who didn't even like English class. God has used a huge disappointment in my life to show me a gift in me I didn't know I had. Yea God! I hang on to His great love for me as he unfolds my new life. It wears me out at times but I live for Him and to help others get freedom.

Around The Corner of Letting Go

Kerrville Daily Times Article

September 16th, 2011

Kathleen Maxwell

I have never met a person that has not encountered something disappointing. Sometimes se disappoint ourselves with mistakes we make but other times we do not have any control of disappointments that come our way. There are many disappointments in life; a loved one gets sick, our child rebels and turns against what we taught them, a spouse develops mental illness, someone tells a lie about us or dishonors us. There are also disappointments that seem minor but can really affect us if we don’t deal with them. For example, did you ever have someone, maybe a parent, promise you something that you were really looking forward to and then they forgot? The good news is that we have the choice of how we handle life’s disappointments and the choice to release them.

Often times we blame others or God when disappointments challenge us or wrestle with analyzing our disappointment. Freedom comes when we accept the disappointment and release it to God. Accepting is where I find peace but often times it is a long road to get to this place.

Letting go is a process and is frequently not simply a one time event. The process can often times take much longer than many of us would like, especially since we live in a microwave society. Process is a series of steps getting us from one place to a better place. I have found in my own life that saying “yes” to the process is key to walking through the valley of letting go. It is in that place of submitting to the process we find God in our situation. Sometimes he is a little harder for me to find than other times, but I’ve discovered that in embracing the process, I find Him at work in my life. Often times for me, saying “yes” to the process is a sheer act of obedience. I don’t have to like it...just do it. It is just part of my personal training.

What I have found in my own life is that process develops me. It is God’s tool to mold me and shape me into the woman of God he sees in me. This is the place where I cry out in my own disappointments, “God, help me to see this from your perspective. Change my thinking about the situation.”

Process also develops faith if we let it. Of course discouragement will try to get us off the right road, but let me encourage you to keep asking God for his perspective until you get to the other side of freedom from your disappointment. Keep taking the next step. Never, never quit. Far too many people quit the process and become bitter, hurt, and hopeless. Freedom is just around the corner.

It is important in the letting go process to hang on to hope. Ephesians 3:20 states, “Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above what we could ask or imagine, according to his power that works in us.” God has a better plan on the other side of releasing our disappointment. He has something beautiful instead.

For me, I have found when I verbally say, “God, I choose as an act of my will to let go and surrender to you and your plan” the acceptance is easier. There is something powerful about aligning ourself with God instead of living in our feelings.Too many times I have resisted saying “yes” to the process and embracing the pain. Releasing sorrow involves dying to self, dying to the right to be right, dying to what I really want. Ironically this is the place we find freedom and healing. Paul, in Philippians 1:21 said it well. “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain.” This was just one of the famous warrior’s battle cries. He is not talking about physical death, but surrender to God, trusting him in all things and dying to what he wanted.

A number of years ago, my late husband and I were involved in a business transaction. We had invested a lot of our time and money in this business endeavor. When we sold this business we carried the note. The note was to be used for our children’s college education. After a year or so the new owners encountered difficulty and things didn’t turn out the way we had envisioned and it was very disappointing. God continually kept challenging me to keep my heart right. Daily he had me choosing to forgive, loving anyway, trusting him to provide the money we lost and letting go of this disappointment that had cost us dearly. We kept praying for God to reveal truth. When the truth was revealed it wasn’t pretty but because we had continued to keep our hearts right, God used my husband and I to minister grace and mercy to the couple in their time of need. Not only did Joe and I grow in unconditional love, but God used us to keep a family together. God also provided amazing scholarships for two of our three children and restored what was lost!

Forgiveness is a big part of letting of of disappointments. Choosing to forgive those that have caused us pain or let us down is vital. It is one of the big steps in the process. Forgiving is one of the major steps in our journey of letting go. Again, you don’t have to like it- just chose to or even ask God to help you forgive those that have disappointed you. Let me encourage you to keep working the process. It is work, so be patient with yourself. My constant prayer for myself is, “God keep me moving in the process and don’t let me get stuck.” He is faithful. Choose to forgive those that have caused the disappointment and ask God to heal your heart where it has been damaged.

My gift to you in closing, is a scripture that I love and have held on to in my own personal disappointments. Jeremiah 31:17 say, “So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. What disappointment do you need to let go of? Begin the process today and I will see you around the corner!

2011-09-13T22:44:00.000-05:00

I have had a huge deposit in my bank the past two weekends. I was able to go and see Mallory and Rob for Labor Day. We were all worn out for various reasons and totally enjoyed just being together and hanging out in Galveston. I was able to stop by and see their new home. It is very exciting to see your kids grow up and watch their lives unfold. I loved getting to visit with them and hear about their lives.
Austin and Laura came in for a wedding this past weekend so I was able to spend some time with them. God knows what I need and being with my kids is such a blessing for me. We enjoyed time on on the deck and I actually remember how to cook! I never cook for myself but somehow when my kids come home I feel like I need to do the things I use to do and feed them well.
Price is busy at the University of Texas studying hard and attending UT football games. He has moved to a new apartment this year and I was able to help him get settled. It was bitter sweet for me as I realized this was my last little bit of mothering I would do for by youngest child's first day of school for the last time. It was also a feeling of great accomplishment as I have had the "first day of school" for the past 24 years with my three children.
I absolutely love my new job! YouthBuild is a fantastic program and I am excited about the impact it will have on our community. I have my new marching orders and my new duty station and it is challenging but great rolled into one. It has been a very busy month for YouthBuild as we pioneer a new program. We started with our clients this week and I have to laugh as they love calling me "Mama Max." I have a bunch of new young people that are hungry for a better future, and need someone to reveal to them their value and worth. 80% are young men ages 16-24 who are working on their GED and into college while they learn the construction trade. I surveyed the group the other night and none of them were over 6'4 so I figured I could handle them since that is the size of my sons. I work with a team of 5- a program director, case manager ,construction manager, assistant manager and GED teacher. It is an awesome team and we have fun working together.
I continue to oversee my parents. They are doing alright. My dad just joined Facebook at 84! He recently had a 5" skin cancer removed from his head and it gave him a face lift! Mother on the other hand struggles more with dementia...she beats the odds with her disease but it makes me sad that her quality of life continues to decline.
I have a new adventure that I have been asked to take. It is beyond me but I know it is God. I will announce it after it hits the paper. The other day I looked at a card I have sitting by my sink. It says, "You never know what you will discover around the corner." As I read that Saturday, I had no idea what was "around the corner." I love walking with God and seeing what he has for my life and how he uses how he uniquely made me. I belong to Him. It is not my life, but His.

Jeremiah 31:17 rings in my ears..."So there is hope for your future," declares the Lord.

Discovering my new life-

2011-09-13T22:36:00.000-05:00

Letting Go of Disappointments - Kerrville Daily Times

2011-09-05T22:42:00.000-05:00

September 2 in the Kerrville Daily Times

Letting Go of Disappointments

Kathleen Maxwell

September 2,2011

Have you ever been disappointed in life? I believe all of us face disappointments of varying degrees quite frequently. Some are huge and life altering and others may be small. As we embrace the letting go process in a godly way we can find jewels that will make us rich in life.

There are many different kinds of disappointments we face. Perhaps someone we expected to spend the rest of our life with is gone due to death or divorce. Maybe cut backs at work cause you to loose your job. That is not only a financial disappointment but an ending of how you spent your days.

Perhaps you’ve been praying for someone to be healed and that hasn’t happened yet or doesn’t happen and you are disappointed in God.

What about a relationship coming to an end?

Have you ever depended on someone to do something or had an expectation of them and they disappointed you?

Another big disappointment is abuse, either verbal or physical. People that were suppose to love and care for you don’t, for whatever reason; usually because of their own hurt and disappointments that have never been dealt with.

Sometimes we make mistakes and we disappoint ourselves by how we act or words we say. Then there are disappointments when someone says something insensitive or ugly. Perhaps someone you love makes a wrong choice and it costs us personally.

Unfilled expectations of people can lead to disappointments. We expect someone to have God’s heart for us. We expect godly people to treat us with love and compassion.

People are people and they will disappoint us. I know I have probably disappointed many throughout my life and I am very sorry. My heart is to always walk in a way that pleases God; nevertheless I am human and I fail at times. I admit I sometimes ask God for “five minutes in the flesh” but He never gives me permission to respond that way!

The big question we are confronted with when we face disappointments is what road will we take when we face the crossroads of disappointments? I feel there are three major roads we can take when we arrive at the crossroads of disappointments. Which path do we choose? I’ve discovered three major choices and have been down all of them.

1. Blaming Drive

2.The Questioning Lane

3. Acceptance Road

On Blaming Drive, I have found the opportunity to blame others, get mad and angry, become bitter, loose hope. Often times we blame God, get mad at him and accuse Him for something He never did. We simply live in a fallen world and will have disappointments in this life. The Pharisees were disappointed in God and they missed Jesus. They expected God to send the Savior one way and God sent him in a manger. Disappointments can cause us to miss Jesus in our circumstances.

The Questioning Road I have found keeps me stuck. This road is often characterized by paralysis of analysis. It frequently says,”Why would God do this to me?” “Why is this happening to me? Why have I prayed for healing and it hasn’t happened? Where is God?

When my mother became ill with a debilitating disease I camped here for a while. Finally I realized that Jesus asks God why and God didn’t answer Him; so why would I think He owes me an explanation?

The best choice is The Acceptance Road and it says, “It Is What It Is” and declares “God, you are big enough to fix it. You are big enough to heal my disappointment.” I love a quote by author Graham Cooke. He says, “God allows in His wisdom, what he could easily prevent in his power.” When I remember that quote, it quiets my soul. Romans 8:28 promises that our disappointments will work together for my good. This is the faith road. This is the road that allows us to let go of our disappointments. Often times God is at work in our lives and we simply do not see it unless we accept disappointments.

Letting go is not a one time event and is often times a process. The greater the disappointment, the longer the process. The great news is God always supplies us with the grace we need to let go. Letting go declares our trust in God. Also, in the process, when we seek God in our pain, the process makes us rich.

Psalms 84 is a passage that has brought me great comfort and direction in times of disappointment. It reminds me of the benefits of dealing with our disappointments. Psalms 84:5 says, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
   whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baka, (tears)
   they make it a place of springs;
   the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
   till each appears before God in Zion.”

As we depend on God for the strength we need to let go of disappointing situations, He will supply. He says in II Corinthians 12:9 states, “His grace is sufficient.” As we set our hearts on embracing the journey,surrendering and accepting we must focus on the fact that it is a season and will pass. We will pass through the valley of tears. It is not the destination. In this, we establish our faith and grow stronger;therefore, challenges can actually be a catalyst to help us grow when we see them from God’s perspective.

Another benefit of letting go is we can become a source of encouragement for others. Not only do springs bubble up but also scripture tells us we will be a constant supply for others. We must extract all we can from our challenges.

As I have stated in previous articles, letting go in life is simply a part of a healthy life. What do you need to let go of today? What pricked your heart?

(Letting Go of Disappointments will be continued September 16th)

Letting Go of Your Dreams

2011-08-27T23:41:00.000-05:00

Happy 7th Anniversary to my kids Austin and Laura!

Below is the Kerrville Daily Times article for last week.

Letting Go of Your Dreams

Kathleen Maxwell

August 19th, 2011

I vividly remember the day in February 2009 I went for a brisk walk while my husband was having chemotherapy at MD Anderson in Houston, Tx. He had a rare cancer that only 2 in a million people get and his chemo treatments lasted 10 hours.

I had to get out of the hospital and get some fresh air and verbally process what I was feeling. I called a good friend who has mentored me for years.

“I feel like all my dreams are being threatened and I don’t think my heart can take it,” I said as tears streamed down my face. I had already had 6 years of watching my mother suffer and was weary. I did not want to sign up for this class I had been assigned.

“Kathleen, your heart will be tethered if you don’t start letting go of your dreams and Joe now.” she gently replied. Her words are always seasoned with compassion so my heart was open to them.

Somehow I knew the truth was right although those were not the words I really wanted to hear at the moment. I decided right then and there to begin letting go of my dreams for our future, surrender to God and fight with all the faith I had for his life.

Joe and I had often talked about our lives without our three kids for years; especially on the challenging days. I had clutched our dreams for quite a long time and wrestled with letting go of them. I told God exactly how I felt about it and that I didn’t like it. He knows what is in our hearts and loves when we are honest with him. Nothing can shock the one who created us and loves us dearly. His love is unconditional.

I felt him speak to me saying, “Kathleen, if all your dreams die, I will give you new ones.” My heart settled down as I took a deep breath and decided to let go of my dreams.

“Lord, I choose as an act of my will to let go of my dreams with Joe and commit this to you, “ I hesitantly prayed.

Often times the hard part of letting go is that we want to see what we are trading for. Letting go involves uncertantity. We want the security of making sure that what we are letting of is a better deal for us instead of trusting in God’s goodness.

The disciples faced the same challenge we do in letting go. Jesus did not give them much travel information. He just said, “follow me.” He didn’t tell them where they were going or exactly what would happen. He wanted them to have the adventure of walking with Him. The disciples had to let go of life as they had known it, their occupations, their plans for something they had never known...walking with God.

Job struggled with letting go of his family and possessions and it was not easy for him. He declares his overwhelming feelings in his personal distress and says things like,

“And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones;
my gnawing pains never rest. In his great power God becomes like clothing to me, he binds me like the neck of my garment.
He throws me into the mud, and I am reduced to dust and ashes.

“I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer;
I stand up, but you merely look at me.” Job 30:16-20 (NIV)

His pain was raw and real and his feelings made him feel like God was far away, but God was right there with him and had a great plan ahead. Don’t be afraid to express your pain to God...he can handle your anguish of “letting go”. Often times people that have never experienced a significant loss struggle with others “letting go” because they cannot relate. Job’s friends could not relate to his pain. Sometimes our processing needs to be God alone.

In the end, God gave Job much more than he lost. Job 42:10 says, “...the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. Job 42:12 states, “The LORD blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part.”

I wish I could tell you I am accomplished at letting go but I must confess that I am still practicing the art. Doctors practice, lawyers practice so I figure I can practice too as I grow in letting go and walking with him.

When I let go, I am learning that God will either catch me or teach me to fly.

My dreams did die but God is giving me new ones. I have decided to follow him into the unknown for the joy of knowing him more. What about you? Are there dreams you need to release? I don’t know much, but I know he is faithful.

Plain and Simple

2011-08-21T22:16:00.002-05:00

When I resigned from CWJC in February, I told the Kerrville Daily Times in an interview that I felt like I had finished all that God had for me to do in that ministry. I also likened where I was in life to the military. When you finish a military assignment you have some time of rest and then you get new "marching orders." I have gotten my new duty station and assignment!

The short version of this email is that I have been working very hard at my new job. I love it and feel it is an answer to many prayers many have prayed for our community. I just get to be a part of the pie. The past two weeks at YouthBuild, the program that I am involved in with BCFS Human Services. BCFS employees over 800 people world wide so I am quickly learning about corporate America. I have spent a lot of my time making connections to let the public know who YouthBuild is are recruiting candidates.
In my spare time I have been learning so many new things from new computer programs, new phone system, how the programs works and my role. There were several long nights this past week but hopefully it will get easier and the hours won't be so long. The other night I had a conversation with a friend and stated that my brain was tired! It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks!
I am excited about how this program will help young people ages 16-24 get their education, learn the construction trade, give back to our community as well as many other things. There are 270 YouthBuilds currently. Play the video below to see what it is about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c52hHMHsOG

My job is to oversee our 40 participants education working with Hill Country High School, our GED teacher, Alamo Community College, and the 5 members of our team. I will teach life skills, resume preparation, job skills, work ethic and character. I will also help our trainees find employment after they graduate in 9 months.
I have really enjoyed getting to know my team. They are a wonderful group and I am honored to work with such a great group. We are preparing for our community orientation, our trainee orientation, and our fall program. Lots of things to think about and plan! All on my team are in their 30's and 40's and move at a fast pace. I move fast too but somehow I feel like the senior member of the team and am simply trying to keep up.

Some of you have asked about Lin, my friend in California. We continue to communicate but have decided that our relationship will only be a friendship. I am thankful for the gift of his friendship but am at peace with it only being a friendship. I have learned that I have to follow only where peace leads me.

God continues shaping me in this season of my life. At the end of each day, I reflect on how he has blessed me that day. It is amazing to put it on paper. This has been a desert season for me but I have found a stream. I am learning obedience, gentleness, and more about my identity and being the beloved of God. I am also learning to have more faith in the love of God. Love never fails. Jesus requires nothing of us...He just loves us. He endured a lot but He just kept loving. He is our example.

I have recently produced two new CDs from my recent speaking engagements on two new topics. "The Good News About Grief" and "The Power of Gentleness." If you are interested in purchasing them contact me via email with your name and address and I will mail them to you. They sell for $4.00 which includes shipping and handling.

Life isn't about me...it is about Him and His Kingdom. The great news is that I get to walk with Him. It is a wonderful life!

Kathleen

Letting Go Is Here to Stay

2011-08-14T13:29:00.000-05:00

Below is my article that appeared in the Kerrville Daily Times last week. Hope you enjoy! I also want to thank those of you that have expressed how the articles have personally helped you. That is the purpose of my writing; to help others discover more freedom as we all walk with Him. I also love what The Daily Times said about my articles online.

"Kathleen Maxwell, local author, teacher and women's minister shares lessons she has learned about God during her intimate spiritual journey."

Letting Go

August 2nd 2011

I think I can safely say I have lived half of my life and I have concluded from my life experiences that letting go is here to stay. There are many things in life that I have had to let go of through the years and I am sure many of you will be able to relate.

One cold winter day as we were driving to school, my oldest son told me he wanted to apply to the Naval Academy and become an engineer. Although I knew he would have excellent opportunities from attending this military academy, I also had to face the reality he would one day go to war. Austin was a Junior in high school and I vividly remember sitting in the parking lot at his high school after he got out of the car and talking to God and saying, “God I didn’t raise my son to go to war.” I felt God reply, “I know, but you constantly prayed for me to help you raise him for his destiny and what I have called him to. Now can you let go of him to do that?” I sat in my car in the freezing weather and wept. How could I argue with God and win? He was right. My husband and I frequently prayed for God to help us prepare our children for His plans and purposes.

As I struggled to let go of my first born for the plans God had for him I began to change my prayers. “God help me let go of my son.” God graciously helped this loving mother that dearly loved her son to let go. The first thing that had to change was my perspective of my children. I began to realize that they were not mine but God’s. After all, my husband Joe and I had given all three of our children to God. They belonged to Him; he just loaned them to us for 20 years to raise. As I embraced that mindset and began to see things God’s way, peace flooded my heart.

Since that time 12 years ago, I have had to let go of many things. Dreams for my life, relationships, job, life as I have known it, my other two children, my husband, plans I’ve made, just to name a few. God has helped me each time to let go of people and things i have clung to. I imagine He chuckles and says, “Kathleen, I am so glad you asked because it shows that you trust me.”

Letting go is directly related to our trust in God. It is the place where we practice what we preach. There are many examples of letting go in the Bible although those particular words are not used. For example, Mary, the mother of Jesus, had to let go of her plans for her life when the angel showed up in Luke1:29-38 and told her God’s plan for her life. She had vision to simply marry Joseph and be a good wife but when the angel appeared ,she suddenly was faced with letting go of her dreams for the unknown. Her response was, “ I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” She later had to let go of her son as he was crucified.

The great part of these stories is that letting go makes us vulnerable to the goodness of God. What Mary traded was much better than anything she could have imagined! She was chosen to be the mother of the Savior and in His death, came resurrection and our access to personal relationship with God.

Letting go has not been easy for me but I find the more I practice it, the easier it is. I have found I am confronted with my fears when I see I need to let go of something. When I look at what I fear and deal with it, it moves me to another level of freedom and that is always great! II Timothy 1:7 tells us fear is not from God, therefore, we need to eliminate it from our lives.

Letting go declares my trust in God and is an act of worship. It is saying “I submit to you and the process you want to take me through.”

It also says “I trust you God.”

Releasing our plans and the things we hold close, opens us to new possibilities and is a trading time. It allows us to grow in dependance on God and release the illusion of that I am in control of my life or those we love. I have seen too many parents hang on to their children, control them out of fear and in the end, not help them to grow up and become mature adults. We should constantly be empowering our children as they grow to become independent from us and dependent on God.

My oldest son graduated from the Naval Academy and went straight to the Persian Gulf and later to Iraq. He has been to war twice now and I now know he was made to be one of our nation’s military leaders. It is God’s call on his life and it is wonderful to see him rise to the challenge for our freedom.

What do you need to let go of in your life?. Psalms 118:7 states, “The Lord is with me; he is my helper.” God is waiting and ready to help in our time of letting go because he loves it when we trust him. (to be continued August 19th)