Imperfectly perfect

I spy something.....

2012-03-16T12:19:00.000-05:00

I'm a little near sighted. Actually a lot near sighted. If I don't wear my glasses everything is blurry. I can make out shapes and assume what it is I think I am seeing. I have had this condition all my life and it makes for some interesting situations at times. Take last night for instance.

I went to take a quick shower to cool off after my 2 mile walk.  During the soapy lathering phase, I glanced down and noticed a big black dot at the bottom of my shower curtain. Dear God! I was in the shower with a cockroach!

Fear struck my heart! I froze. Any sudden move could cause the roach to attack me, so I ever so slowly scooched over to the far side of the tub (which was about 6 inches. not much space between me and a killer roach).

Trying not to panic I tried to rationalize what it was. Could it be the magnets that were on the bottom of the curtain? Perhaps the curtain had just flipped over on itself and that dot was just one of the magnets.   I double checked the curtain (from a far) looking for the magnets that are on both ends of the curtain. Nope, those were still there. This was a new dot. This was a roach. A roach that was seeing me butt neckked (That's how we say naked in Texan by the way).

A cold sweat breaks out across my forehead. Good thing I'm in the shower. Trying not to panic, I think of my options.

1) Stand in the shower all night and hope it crawls out of the shower. (I couldn't last that long in a stand off with a roach).

2) Man up and just kill the monster (that's too gross; I'm not a man; I would probably end up having to buy a new bathtub because roach guts would be smeared on it and beside I didn't have anything to throw at it).

3) Make a leap out of the tub, hopfully passing the roach without him pouncing on me. (This is the option I chose).

So there I stood in the middle of the bathroom, butt neckked looking like a teletubbie covered in bubbles. I heard laughing. Looking over my shoulder I see it was one of my killer roach assassins at the door way watching me; Bailor, the killer kitteth.

I got mad and told him he was slacking on his job, allowing a vile creature into my inner most sanctum. He mumbled something about having foster kittens in his house for nearly three months and sauntered off. I guess he hasn't gotten over that yet. What Ever!

Regrouping, I marched myself into the kitchen flinging soap suds all along the way. I grabbed a broom and returned to the bathroom to see what I should do next.

I put on my glasses.

Using the broom handle, I carfully peeled back the shower curtain. I made sure to stand close enough to the doorway should I need to flee for safety.

Looking inside I could see that the killer attack roach was actually a third magnet on the shower curtain. In the last six months since I have had that curtain I never knew there were three magnets to hold it in its place.

Disaster averted...sort of.

So long little friend

2012-02-17T16:46:00.000-06:00

Theodore Tumbles...Acrobat Extraordinaire

Today I had to drop off Little Lid (also known as Theodore Tumbles...Acrobat Extraordinaire) back at the shelter. I have had him since December so I think I may have leaked a few tears in public when I dropped him off. Not a pretty sight, I can assure y'all.

His little leg has healed and may have a slight limp when he walks but he is quite the character. I think who ever adopts him will be very surprised at his charming personality.

Its the weekend so this is the best time for him to be at the shelter. Tons of people come in Saturday and Sunday. I just hope someone nice and kind adopts him so he doesn't have to wait too long for a home.

Lordy! These tears just keep leaking. I better drink more water to replace whats coming out.

I have an Ouchie

2012-02-15T06:57:00.000-06:00

So I have tennis elbow. It hurts. I use to make fun of people who complained about having it because it sounded so lame. Though when you think about it, it is lame since it makes you lame. You really can't use your arm without writhing in pain.

Yesterday, I tried to open my jar of peanut butter. I thought I was going to pass out. Then I tried to open it with my left hand but the pain was still creeping around in my right arm. So then I sat on the floor, put the jar between my feet and used my left hand. YAY! Peanut butter for me!

It was peanut butter so I needed to go above and beyond the normal to achieve my goal. Now if only I could just apply that same philosophy to other areas of my life.

I kinda cheated...

2012-02-14T10:30:00.000-06:00

Well I didn't kinda cheat...I actually did cheat. I watched The Grammy's. I needed to see Adele win and perform.

Yay Adele!

(no more TV for me)...(maybe)

Heart health

2012-02-12T07:52:00.000-06:00

According to research by eatting a piece of dark or milk chocolate EVERYDAY you can lower your risk of heart disease by 37%!. Though you should eat no more than 200 hersey kisses

or one small square from a chocolate bar.

Well if its going to help my heart I will do what I gotta do.

Here's to heart health!

Life without TV part whatever......

2012-02-09T15:43:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time (a few years back) I was in for my annual Doctor's visit and he told me I was fat. He's German and does not mince words. Just straight and to the point that man.

After I stopped crying, he told me that I should eat only those things I DON'T see on TV.

So you know where I am going with this don't you?

Since I haven't been watching TV.....

today I had a McGriddle for breakfast

and Chicken Fingers from Whataburger!

Yum

Life without TV

2012-02-08T10:03:00.000-06:00

Sunday:

Lived life fine without the tube. In the evening, around 7ish, I turned on the radio, laid on the couch and read one of my books from a stock pile. Around 11ish that evening I woke up after having fallen asleep some time after the first few pages. Was wide awake for several hours, so I cleaned out the closet.

Monday:

Read the same book as Sunday, fell asleep after a couple more pages. Cleaned out the pantry.

Tuesday:

Surfed the Internet until bed time.

Am I cheating if I surf the net instead of watching TV?

I Pledge Not to Watch TV....

2012-02-05T16:29:00.001-06:00

Day One:

Waking on Saturday, I grabbed my diet Dr. Pepper and headed to the living room where I plopped on the couch and turned on the TV. After about ten minutes a commentator came on to speak about the election. Then it dawns on me....I haven't anything good for breakfast. As I sit there wondering what to eat, the commentator drones on and on and on. Then I remembered my pledge. I turned off the tube and didn't know what to do. Perhaps I can only think of what to have for breakfast while the TV is blaring. I go back to bed.

Unable to fall back to sleep I get dressed and go to the grocery store. After buying out the store (never go grocery shopping when you are hungry) I head out to the car only to see the rain. A monsoon....more like a torrential downpour. I have no umbrella because I didn't know it was going to rain. I wait. 10 minutes later its still raining and I am digging through the bags to see what else I can eat.

I make a run for it. My groceries and I are soaked. Seems it was a bad time to be environmentally conscious and request paper bags. Turns out there was a big storm forecast for the day which I might have known if only I watched the news.

What did the pioneer folks do before TV? How did they figure out if it was a good day to ride into town for supplies? Never the less, I will continue on with my pledge. No TV.

CRAP! Today is the Super Bowl! How am I to watch the funny commericals?!

I Pledge....

2012-02-03T07:12:00.000-06:00

It's political season again. YAY! I haven't gotten over the last one and that was pretty brutal. It felt like it lasted two years.

Now, every time I watch TV all I see is an update about who is running; what who said about whom; who paid the most taxes and who slept with whom. I really don't care. I know I should and I should be involved in the election process but it all seems so juvenile. The name calling, the insulting, the posturing, and that's just from me.

Every candidate talks about what's wrong and who is doing wrong but they just don't seem to say "how" they will fix it, or "how" they would do better. They speak that politico speak that says everything yet nothing all at the same time, cloaking their ambiguousness about any given topic so they never really make a commitment to one thing or another. Just thinking on all this is raising my blood pressure!

Well, I have decided to make a stand. I pledge to stop watching the boob tube for at least a month ( I should really stop until the election is over but I'm thinking about all my season finales I might miss. I'll just play it by ear. Hummm...I kinda sound non-committal, like some of those politicians I am trying to hide from.)

Instead of watching TV, I will read a book, garden, vaccuum, do laundry...wait...I might need to re-think this.

NO...I will do it! NO TV for a MONTH.

A Sign from God

2012-01-23T07:57:00.001-06:00

Yesterday while eating lunch with my Mom, she asked why I hadn't made that chocolate cake I use to make all the time. She was hoping I would make it again soon.

Then this morning I was reading a comment about my last post from Daddy P and he had pointed out his word verification was a derivative of "gateau" (a cake) and that it was a sign (about exercising).

After noting that, I went to check my email and received a note from a friend who wanted me to read this:

http://www.sogoodblog.com/2012/01/18/quick-bite-mcdonalds-oreo-cookies-n-cream-pie/

So I decided God must want me to make a chocolate cake! I pulled out my recipe for the cake my mom requested. It's called a Black Devil's Food Cake.

Hummm....something to ponder.

Exercise dilemma

2012-01-22T18:34:00.000-06:00

Trying to catch up on my reading, I came across an article that talked about what you can do to burn off 1,000 calories worth of chocolate (put me within a 10 miles radius of plain M&M's and it can happen).

You can:

Go bowling for 5 hours - That's fine but what about all the cheese nachos and beer I consume?

Walk for 3 hours - Send me to a shopping mall. I wonder what they have in the food court?

Wash dishes for 7 hours - Not a problem as long as my dishwasher holds out. 7 hours straight might wear it out.

Climb stairs for 2 - Nope. Heard a nasty story once about walking up stairs so I couldn't do it. It had to do with boogers on the hand rail.

Do aerobics for 2 - I get winded just reaching for the remote. I wonder if I can watch a video for two hours?

I will be glad when January is over and they stop talking about all the New Year's ~~delusions~~ resolutions tips and start telling us which chocolate is best for Valentine's Day!

One man's trash is another man's treasure

2012-01-20T08:57:00.000-06:00

My parents grew up in a small East Texas town where the people there never threw anything away. They felt there would always be a use for it. It’s a habit my folks took with them in life, most particularly my Dad.

I remember on heavy trash days where we lived, my Dad would drive the streets in his VW van looking for "treasures". He came back with broken fences, chairs, tools, whatever caught his eye.

"It's still good" he said as he piled it up on the back patio. Of course it was horrifying for me; my Dad the garbage collector. If my friends ever found out that the dirty man in the VW van was my Dad, my social life would be ruined!

As all us kids grew up and moved off, he still collected trash but now he had an army of friends who would call to tell him about a "great find" down the road. He had "eyes" all over the city looking for him. How lovely.

Years ago when I bought my house my Dad would come over and help me get settled. One of the things I lacked was furniture so Dad always kept his eye open for me. YIKES! There were some stinkers, literally.

One day he called to say he had found a dresser for me. He had been driving through my neighborhood on heavy trash day (yay me) in his still working hippy van and found a find!

"Come see this. You need to get it. I can fix it up for you" he said

I cringed. "Fix it up" translated into "pile of crap". The dresser was old, dirty and in pieces. None of the drawers had bottoms. None.

"It's in the garbage for a reason Dad. Just leave it"

"But I can put new bottoms in it and give it a fresh coat of varnish. It will look like new" he replied.

I thought he was going to cry. It was embarrassing enough to be seen talking to a grungy old man next to a beat up VW van digging through garbage, but for him to cry! I sighed, and then helped him load it into his van. I surmised I would just donate it somewhere once he was done with it. IF he got done with it.

After about a month, my Dad drove up in his van and brought the dresser over to the house. This is what I received.

What once was a pile of garbage that lined the curb somewhere in my neighborhood is now my most valued treasure; a gift from my Dad. Today, every time that I look at this dresser I am reminded of him, his VW camper van and all that junk he collected and his passion for creating something out of trash. I wish now I could see him driving today in his van picking through someone’s trash.

Predictions from 1911.....

2012-01-18T01:03:00.002-06:00

Below is an article printed in the 1900's in the Ladies Home Journal that provided predictions of what will happen in the next 100 years. You can't see it here but click the link for a better view. http://i.imgur.com/bwUWM.jpg

Topics to note:

Americans will be taller: because we will live in the "burbs" and transportation into the city will cost only a penny!

No Mosquitoes or flies: they also included roaches in this. Alas this is never to be.

There will be no C, X or Q in the alphabet: Maybe if they had eliminated the mosquitoes perhaps this would have happened.

How children will be taught: Etiquette and housekeeping would be included in their studies. Imagine not being able to watch "Hoarders" today! I guess this was scrapped because they were planning on eliminating "Q".

Me First

2012-01-13T20:03:00.000-06:00

I work out.

Sometimes.

Usually its after I eat a box of Oreo Chocolate Double Stuff cookies. YUM YUM!

So when I need inspiration to "move it" I listen to these guys....

I don't know why. I guess the answer is blowin' in the wind.

Are you a Weirdo?

2012-01-12T07:24:00.000-06:00

You Are 24% Weirdo

You're a little weird, but you'd be even weirder if you didn't have a few quirks.

You are just strange enough to know it, but nobody else seems to notice your weirdness.

That's because, deep down, everyone is a little freaky!

Are You A Weirdo?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

Desire #2

2012-01-11T05:07:00.000-06:00

Learn to appreciate possibilities.

I may not always get what I thought I desired, but instead of seeing that as a negative I will start to look at the situation for the possibilities it may bring.

Perhaps there is something wonderful, good and just what my heart always desired buried in there somewhere if only I'd give it a chance.

Theodore Tumbles: the gimpy foster kitteth

2012-01-09T14:12:00.001-06:00

This is Theodore Tumbles, my new foster baby. Not really new, I have had him for about two weeks now. He is approximately 6 months old and has a broken leg. He will be staying with me until:

a) his leg heals and he can go up for adoption or

b) its determined his leg may not heal and will need to be amputated which will require a longer stay with me until he fully recovers. So sad.

Anyway, I have been working on his biography for when he is released for adoption. I have decided he will be known as

Theodore Tumbles.

Acrobat Extraordinaire!

Aren't jelly beans a veggie?

2012-01-06T06:19:00.000-06:00

As you may remember, I'm not that into New Year's Resolutions. You would think my friends remembered that but alas, they don't. This is a conversation I had the other day with a friend.

Friend: "What's your New Year's Resolutions?"

Me: "Not to have any."

Friend: "What!? Why!? Everyone needs to have a goal. A plan. You should have one."

Me: "I don't want one."

Friend: "You really should have one. Don't you want to improve your life?"

Me: "Who doesn't?"

Friend: "I have some. To exercise more, to lose weight and to eat healthier."

Me: "Then can I have your french fries?"

Friend: "I'm serious."

Me: "So am I."

Friend: "Starting next week I am going to change my whole routine. You should at least exercise."

Me: "I already do, thanks for noticing."

Friend: "Maybe you should eat veggies. That could be your resolution. To eat vegetables. Not more veggies, because you don't eat any, but to include them in your diet."

Me: "I already eat veggies."

Friend: "No you don't. What veggies do you eat?"

Me: "Candy Corn and Jelly Beans."

Friend: (Rolls eyes). "Maybe I should add make new friends to my resolutions."

Desire #1

2012-01-04T07:29:00.001-06:00

To be kinder to myself. Honestly, if I had a friend that spoke to me the way I speak to myself , I know I wouldn't be friends with them for long. If I won't tolerate that behavior from others why do I tolerate it from myself? If I can't be kind, compassionate and respectful of my Self then why should anyone else?

Wish upon a star

2012-01-01T21:47:00.000-06:00

Finally! The holidays are over and now we have moved on to the New Year and all the resolutions people are making. Yippee!

I don't make resolutions. I think they're stupid and a waste of time. But I am an underachiever so what do you expect from me?

Well this year I have decided to try to put some order into my life and I will be making a list of "desires". Not "goals". Not "wants". "Desires".

Interesting note. Do you know the origin of the words "goal" and "want"?

Goal - 1275–1325; Middle English gol boundary, limit; compare Old English gǣlan to hinder, impede

Want - 1150–1200; Middle English wante < Old Norse vanta to lack

No wonder people have a hard time achieving what they are looking for. The words are all wrong.

Example:

"A goal for 2012 is that I want to make more money."

Translation:

"I want to be impeded as I lack more money."

Interesting what words really mean isn't it. You know what "desire" originally meant?

Desire - early 13c., from O.Fr. desirer, from L. desiderare "long for, wish for," original sense perhaps "await what the stars will bring," from the phrase de sidere "from the stars," from sidus (gen. sideris) "heavenly body, star, constellation" (but see consider). Noun sense of

Here's wishing that you receive all your hearts desires for the coming years.

I hate Roaches

2011-12-13T07:45:00.000-06:00

Nasty Ass Tree Roach

Yesterday I had an interview and while waiting for my appointment I noticed a roach in the lobby crawling its way along the wall...towards me.

I hate roaches. I hate them so much that after I kill them I won’t pick them up. I have actually called my mom to come over to my house and pick them up for me. I don’t do that any more. Now I use a vacuum cleaner to suck up their nasty, dead carcasses. Emptying the container is another ordeal but I manage.

In the past when I killed roaches I use to use one can of Raid for one roach. You just need to make sure they are dead. I mean, if they can survive a nuclear bomb explosion then you just need to be sure, that's all I'm saying.

I don't use Raid anymore because I have two kitteths now.

I don't want to exterminate them in the process. Anyway, the kittehs like playing with these nasty ass things until they are dead, which is fine by me. I have my own roach assassins. Purrfect. Except for the times when they leave the carcass on my bed. I actually had to throw out two blankets that were on my bed because they left their "gift" right there. I'm breaking out in a cold sweat just thinking about it now.

I don't use shoes to squish them either because then I would have to throw out the shoes. Why would anyone want to walk around with roach guts smeared on the bottom of their shoes. That's just disgusting.

Someone once told me my fear was irrational and that they can’t kill me. Well duh! Yes they can! I could have a heart attack from the fear of just seeing them or I might try to run away, slip and conk my head on the floor and slip silently into a coma (probably with a roach crawling all over me while waiting for someone to discover my body). Irrational my ass!

Tiny Nasty German Roach

These things are nasty and ugly and scary looking. The thing is these are tree roaches, not the tiny roaches that live in your house cause your dirty. They come in side your house during the hottest time in summer cause they discovered we have air conditioning. They also come inside during the coldest part of the year because we have heat. I could dump a bunch of toxic chemicals around and inside the house to keep them out but again its my kitteths i worry about.

But I digress. So I was waiting for my interview and see this roach crawling towards me. Trying not to panic and cause a scene I get up and go to the restroom. After a few minutes have passed and thinking the roach has made its way out of its trajectory of heading towards me, I return to the lobby. Just as I am walking in, the man I am to interview with is in the lobby. Seeing the roach, he steps on it and immediately afterwards wants to shake my hand. For the next hour I am sitting in a interview with a man that has roach guts on the bottom of his shoe and that's the only thing I can think about.

I hate roaches.

Sucka!

2011-12-10T07:19:00.000-06:00

Over a week ago I dropped off Maddie the foster dog at the shelter (who by the way did get adopted rather quickly) and as I was walking out the door I was flagged down and asked to take in Max the Toxic Foster Cat. He needed extra help getting over his cold that the shelter couldn't give. With the "sucker" burning bright on my forehead how could I say no?

Max the Toxic Foster Cat

Every time he sneezed a snot tsunami came raining down. I got a face full of it a time or two. That's just gross. Well after a week of meds and a vaporizer he is now all better, no need for a hazmat suit. He breathes through is nose and sleeps in my lap.

I did not tell my kittehs that Max is here, however they sort of figured it out when they heard him meowing for attention through the door. I think I might be in trouble.

Angry Baelor

Your getting sleepy...very sleepy

2011-12-08T07:01:00.000-06:00

Having trouble sleeping? According to reports people who stretched 15 to 30 minutes a day helped cut back on sleep problems by 30%. The stretching helps to relieve stress and muscle aches making it easier for you to drift off to sleep.

I guess Stretch Armstrong was in a perpetual state of coma given his line of work.

Happy dreams.

Eye see you now!

2011-11-28T15:07:00.000-06:00

Maddie the foster dog and I made it through the holiday! Yesterday she went back to the shelter to be spayed and get the rest of her hair cut.

This was Maddie before:

And this is after:

Holy Cow, she has eyes!

In a couple of days Maddie will return to the shelter so she can take part in the big Christmas adoption campaign at Neiman Marcus. I know someone will snatch her up in all her cuteness. I sure am gonna miss her though. But I must say, I learned a lot from her.

As I mentioned before, Maddie was a cruelty case. She was rescued from a bad situation and in spite of all she has gone through she still loves people, she still loves life. She doesn't lay down and wallow in self pity and cry over where she came from or what she went through.

Each morning she gets up and has this big grin on her face and a wag in her tail. The day is met with enthusiasm. She does the dance of joy when she is fed dry, crunchy kibbles. She is over the moon with squish hugs.

Why is it the human race is considered the smartest of all the species yet most of us can't manage to look at life the way Maddie the foster dog does?

Funny, I got another foster pet because I was feeling down about my situation; wallowing around in the self pity and self loathing. And here comes this dog to teach me a lesson about living life now.

Karma...its a .....

2011-11-23T13:48:00.001-06:00

tscardiff.smartemail.co.uk

The other day I was reading a post by a blogger i like to follow. He told a story about how he almost killed himself at the gym. Well, I laughed. He is a great story teller and he painted a really great picture but I think a part of me knows deep down I have a warped sense of humor and tend to laugh at peoples pain. Sad to admit but true.

Last night I was out walking Maddie the foster dog when I slipped in mud and fell face down in middle of it. Not once. Twice.

Thankfully all my neighbors were outside and witnessed my face planting. Both times.

That karma will get you every time.