Third Culture

fuck.

2014-01-03T16:51:00.000+00:00

4 January, 2014

What did I learn from this crazy ride called life?
What comes around literally comes fucking back around.

We lie to ourselves and we shove that big fat fucking lie down our throats and swallow it down along with all our feelings like choking on a big black cock.

And the circus along with the fucking clown wearing a dildo as a hat comes riding back along, pointing his middle finger at you, "There is no break on the rape train."

You're in for this ride for life.

Do we take this, this fact given by God, and shove it up our ass and pretend that we're all good and dandy, smiling at strangers on the streets with a big fat dildo up our ass, that everything is A-OK? That we do. Until the fat plastic toy finally slips out of our anus, along with shit and piss and causes a humongous mess, and THAT is when we realize that we're god damn pathetic.

So until then, I'm yours to be fucked and toyed around, SC.

My demon

2013-12-21T17:12:00.000+00:00

Dear Friend.

I am writing to you for the first time. I do not know why I would write to you because I had never done so before, but I believe it is time to know each other. You know what I'm talking about.

I thought you were gone for good. You have ruined several of my important relationships. I could call you my "dark passenger" or the demon that hides inside me, but whoever you are, I'd like to say sorry for ignoring you, my Demon.

I first became aware of you when I was with Jane in university. It's due to my inadequacy as a man that you were born inside of me. Although I had the best of intentions with Jane, and so did her to me, I had my flaws and she had her imperfections. We loved one another dearly and I doubt you knew that, because you are the embodiment of my negativity and pessimism. My demon, I almost ended in British prison because of you. Jane had her own demon, one evil enough to watch me being buried alive, and I mean that literally. On one hand she will me tell me "I love you", and on the other hand, she would be killing me softly with a kitchen sushi knife, the one I bought from amazon for £16 to make sushi for her. I do not blame you, my Demon, as you were born as a self-defense mechanism to protect my insecurity and ego.

When me and Jane ended, you must had disappeared along with that relationship. You didn't show up anymore and you didn't visit. For 3 years I lived my life happily with girls whom I actually weren't too happy with. I understand now, you do not show up when I'm not in love.

Recently you showed up again without my awareness. I seemed to be possessed by you, controlled by you, and I dropped every bit of anger, frustration and insecurity onto SC.

The one girl I had genuine feelings towards ever since Jane left, and you destroyed everything. I'm being irresponsible aren't I? To put all the blame onto neither myself nor SC, but onto you, my Demon. It's pitiful. It's pathetic. I'm just playing the blame game, and I passed the ball to someone who doesn't even exist.

You're part of me, my friend. You're my insecurity. I have Mr. Happiness with me wherever I went, but you, I have neglected you. No, I wouldn't even call it neglect, I denied you. I avoided you. I stopped you from ever knowing me. All because I couldn't face you, because you reminded me of every bit of tragic piece of event that happened between me and Jane. Sigh, I think you even existed back when I was with Apple.

To win this battle, to win this war, to achieve happiness with SC, and to treasure her for the love she deserves, but not what she thinks she deserves, let's get along, ok? You're part of me, you know what I want the most and you know that I may end up hurting myself when she leaves me.

I didn't even know I was in love, but the existence of you appearing out of nowhere after 3 years, is proof that I am beginning to fall in love. I know you're trying to protect me again by ending things with her several times, but it's ok. SC isn't like anyone I had met. She's my It girl. Please, give her a chance and know her better before you run crazy again. I really, really am happy with this girl. I mean it.

Let's be friends, my Demon.

To SC if you are reading this.

You're special. I believe a lot of men thought of you as special and there were a lot of idiots who didn't think of you as special, but to me, you saved me. You came into my life at a very weird time when I was spiraling into depression, and you brought me unbelievable happiness. I was all time low. I was raised out of the pit but I didn't realize you were everything I ever wanted. It's too late to tell you this, but I thank you for rescuing me from my pitiful self. If we do not end up together, I will still be grateful to you from the bottom of my heart for all the pleasant memories we had.

Unlike you, I am able to forget the unpleasant memories. I only remember the good times we had. I hope, no, I will definitely create more happy memories with you to bury all the bad memories.

Look forward to Christmas SC, my love, my savior.

Infected Mushroom @ Play club

2012-07-23T10:37:00.000+01:00

We may not be psychedelic junkies but that’s why we took a trip to Play on July 19. For us, it was all about losing our psychedelic virginity in front of an act which has been deemed by many as super-worthy: Infected Mushroom. The Israeli duo has helped define psychedelic trance over the years and is a massively popular feature in the scene.

Several hours before Infected Mushroom arrived at Play, fans had already gathered to enjoy a burger and play competitive ping-pong and pool (by competitive we mean there was money and anger involved). “They’ll blow your fucking brains out,” a married 27-year-old banker told us over a game of pool. “The idea of psytrance comes from LSD and magic mushrooms. Your brain rewires your emotions and senses. You can smell colour and you perceive sound in a totally different way. That’s what psychedelic music is based on. You don’t need drugs with Infected Mushroom.” At this point, we were more worried than looking forward to the Israeli duo. We weren’t quite sure if we wanted our brains splattered over the floor, mentally speaking.

It wasn’t until 1am that the duo appeared and took over the DJ booth, sending the audience into raptures of cheers and screams. What happened next was a whole different level from what the warm-up DJ had been playing earlier. We couldn’t help but notice a group of men and women next to us bursting into a crazed dance nearly on all fours and head-banging in sync. As we were admiring the two hired dancers on stage prancing about in perfect sync to the beats, the recognisable melody of hit song Becoming Insane slowly crept over our backs, infecting us. Mayhem ensued. The two dancers on stage danced crazier, my new banker friend looked like he was getting a seizure and the occasional screams from the crowd became prolonged permanent cries.

So it was as tripped-out as we’d been told. And the music was as awesome as we’d hoped. With an LSD-like experience like this, if anything, it’s made us curious to try the real thing itself now…

Link: http://www.timeout.com.hk/big-smog/blog/52274/infected-mushroom.html

Boo to Taboo @ City of Dreams

2012-07-23T10:35:00.001+01:00

You can count on Macau to deliver world class-performances. After all, it’s Asia’s entertainment hub. But what’s new this summer? Enter Taboo, a seductive cabaret performance directed by the man behind The House of Dancing Water, Franco Dragone.

We attended a media preview of the spectacle and were told by producer Jay Smith to expect a ‘naughty and naughtier show’ that would ‘shatter taboos’ in an interactive performance. The real performance kicked off when a group of dancers – ladies wearing corsets and holding long cigarette holders, and men wearing black suits (without shirts, of course) – kicked off the action. The scene then transformed into a violent struggle with anger in the performers’ expressions accompanied by crazy dancing and much feet-dragging.

As the show went on, we wondered when the interactive elements would come into play. But the closest we got was when three male dancers tossed their jackets into the audience. Mezzo soprano singer Jennlee Shallow, who has performed with Cirque du Soleil and in The Lion King, stepped on to the stage and sung Falling by Alicia Keys. After this we saw Lucky Hell, a tattooed Finnish girl, dangerously swallow a 22-inch sword. We deemed her as the highlight of the show – she impressively continued to dance with a sword inside her gastrointestinal tract. The night continued on in a similar vein with a total of 10 performances.

Although it was indeed a sexy night as advertised, Taboo didn’t live up to its expectations – taboos were simply not shattered and interactions between the performers as well as our hostesses were nearly non-existent. Half of the performances were based on acrobatic performances and even though we enjoyed it, we had seen it before – it wasn’t new. So, don’t hop on the ferry just for this show. But if you happen to be in the vicinity it could be worthwhile popping in. The experience doesn’t come cheap, though – the only way you can catch the 90-minute performance is by booking a $2,000 table for two, which includes champagne and canapés.

After the performance ended, Jay Smith reminded us the media preview was just a glimpse at the real performance which debuted on Friday June 29. He ended the night with a charming grin across his face, saying ‘we hope you feel naughty’. But were we feeling naughty? Not quite. With a theme like Taboo, we were expecting something racier.

Link: http://www.timeout.com.hk/around-town/features/51920/taboo.html