You Are Heard

The Race ....

2010-04-24T16:16:00.002+08:00

When everyone thinks that the hope is lost, it is only then miracles do happen.

Life today has become very competitive … until … achievements are all that matters. I sit here today, writing this post because I feel that I have forgotten something important in life. It is years now, I like you, have joined the race to become the best. Competing in everything and anything possible, today… all of a sudden my heart felt a pinch that slapped my mind out of its competitiveness into reality.

No doubt, being competitive made me work hard and fortunately my hard work during the last few years did not go fruitless. For instance, today I work for one of the country’s best aviation company with a decent pay. Besides that, I have met a beautiful girl that shows me much love, in addition to the continuous love poured by my wonderful family and friends. Isn’t this all a man coming from a middle class background would want to achieve ... Well, it wasn’t so for me two days ago after seeing how the rich and famous lived ….

Sigh … we had always automatically found new limits to achieve after making over the old ones and this had made our life become a race. Don’t get me wrong, in life, it is import to have competition but life itself should not be a competition. I sometimes feel that god tried explaining this to man but unfortunately man was never listening nor noticing. Before you read the next line, look at your palm. Notice something … Even though our creator was perfect, he made all five fingers of ours different in size and shape. It is only because they are different; we are able to grasp things well with our hands.

Hence … don’t you think we were all meant to be different in order to maintain the stability of our human race? We should not try to be someone we are not because in the process of being that person we will lose our own identity and move further from the purpose of our birth. We are all unique and had been given abilities that will allow us to achieve the purpose of our birth. Rather than to compete with our counterparts we should look within and seek our own strength. Only then, we can achieve satisfaction in all that we perform.

Before I end this post, I want to say that I am truly sorry that I have not written in a while. However, my absence allowed me to realize that being the best is not as import as being my true self. Life is not a race, don’t run through it or you will regret one day for not living it.

Fill me in with your thoughts ….

The Meet ....

2009-11-11T01:25:00.005+08:00

I want to start this post by saying a big Thank You ….

Thank you for reading all my post till this day; especially those who had never failed to carve their feelings on the walls of this blog. I had always felt that every one of you is connected to me somehow. I might not know you in person nor seen your face before, but I am grateful for the little time that you are spending to read and understand the gist of my writings.

Well … Today, I am going to tell you a story about a boy and a girl. This is not a love story but … At that time the boy had just started university and the girl was still studying in secondary school. He first met her in a temple. She was wearing a white t-shirt with black pants. She was not very tall, had slightly below shoulder length hair and had a very pretty smile. He first saw her through the reflection of a glass. At that point of time, he already started feeling butterflies in his stomach. Well eventually daaa daaa da daaa daa da happened and the next thing they both knew … they were a couple.

I know many of you would feel that at that age, he probably felt puppy love. However, to that boy, the feeling he felt at that time was a feeling he never felt before. Well what can I say … it is purely man’s human nature to induce love to evade loneliness. Though it was not what people call true love, but because of their innocence the love was pure and that made them able to sustain the relationship for 4 years.

Eventually, the guy got heartbroken when the girl decided to leave him after getting the realization of maturity. It was not entirely her fault as how is she to bear him when she could not figure what she truly wanted herself. As usual, the breakup was a difficult period which saw many hurting words and actions being exchanged. Well, you can’t blame the guy for being an ass; as living life with her was his dream and just imagine getting your dreams washed out one morning in a pack train station. I can tell you that the separation hurt him badly because on the night of the break up, he prayed to god never to make them cross paths again forever … hmmm.

Today, six years after the break up … he only thank god for making things better with her in the fifth year after the separation. Being matured adults now, it is not surprising they had managed to put their past behind them and are good friends now. Well, you must be wondering why the hack did I tell you this story … haha. Well, this is the reason why … Recently, they guy ran into some major problems in life and had gone to the extent of just giving up everything … and at that crucial point the girl advised him the below :-

“We always think that the challenges in life that we undergo are sufferings but in truth there are many out there that are suffering even more than you. Some do not have homes, some do not have a nickel to loan, some are handicap and many don’t even have a person that truly loves them like a family. You need to realize this and be grateful to god for this. You had always been strong and you just have to be strong now“

When she told him this, though this was something he knew before, it just created a spark that inspired change in him. God had placed special people that carry special messages to guide us throughout life. The real reason of the meet might never be known now but it will surely benefit you one day. The boy in the story is me and the girl in the story is the person I really hurt two days ago. I am really sorry for that. I feel much better now and I owe this to you.

I really hope readers can share some experiences of similar meets that benefited them later …. Remember sharing is caring … thank you again

Mysterious SHE ...

2009-10-12T22:14:00.011+08:00

I had always thought sincerity is all a person looks for in another to commit to the religion of love. However, I think the experiences that I felt in the past eight months or so, had clearly washed out that perception. Partly I blame myself for being the fool to the lies that I was told. The lies were not coming from her only but it was also coming from an unexpected source. A source that you would not imagine that would betray you at a time like this.

We often fall into this trap because we had always trusted this source ever since we were born. Though it had helped us grow in the society, explaining things that were not explainable through visual and audio, but all it was trying to do was to gather vital information that will make you serve the purpose of this birth. If you think I am talking about an actress from the cinema, then I can tell you that she acts pretty well too. She also hides herself in the deepest secrets of the self and uses these secrets to lore you to the repayment of your action.

I felt the saddest moment of my life yesterday, when the girl I thought had always cared for me told me to stop dazing in my dream world. I know from then on, this relationship had nothing left in it but she then came along and reassured me not to give up. The reason I am feeling the pinch in my heart today ... is truly because of her but I really don’t understand why I keep listening to her. It is like an addiction or maybe it is just because of the long relationship we had throughout the years.

Sometimes I feel very deluded and had also started doubting the existence of the objects in front of me. She had made me doubt my eyes and had tried numerously to disown me from my own feelings. I think it is time for me to visit a doctor that can help me differentiate … what is real and what is false. Even then I am sure she will not rest until her cause is met …

Nearly all of us are in this confuse state today because of her … she had also defeated some into their own death … she is no other then Maya or the delusion caused by the mind…she is the catalyst to the recreation of the mind … She will feed on your fear, anger, lust, greed, and ego.. and she will not stop until she make you realize that the real you is not who you think you are …people that befriend her became insane and those who had tamed her became immortal. Anyway take care my friends and remember the past was there to teach us something not to repeat in the future...

Maybe we can share the delusions we had before… and how we overcame it …you never know you might find a solution to some of your questions here today …

Happyness :)

2009-09-12T21:56:00.002+08:00

An old friend once told me that life is like a novel. The suspense that lies on the next page is the only thing that keeps us reading on. Hence knowing the future is never possible. We can only hope that things will fall in place but we can never guarantee it will. As I flip the pages of this novel, I notice that life is full of ups and downs. However, ever since knowing the secret of happiness, I am able to maintain a level of happiness though grief on and off keeps visiting back.

It was a few weeks back when I accidentally discovered the secret of happiness. I was about to doze off when suddenly the phone rang … My aunty with a low tone informed us that my uncle had passed away. At first, I was shocked hearing the news of his sudden death. Later I accepted reality as it unfolded in front my eyes. It was at the crematorium when suddenly I felt as if I was touched by the above. Seeing the casket being feed to the blazing fire made me realize that this form of mine is temporary. This realization made me feel as if I had skipped multiple chapters and was reading the final chapter of the novel.

You must be wondering what is being temporary got to do with happiness. Well only by realizing the fact that this very life of ours is temporary, we can choose whether to live life with a smile or continue wasting life being dull. Yes I agree that this is easier said than practiced. Well maybe we can start by differentiating the entities that are temporary and permanent. You would realize that everything that has a shadow is temporary and the only permanent thing is the self or some will call this the soul. The soul is energy and if I remember correctly from the physic lessons which I took way back during my secondary school days, energy can never be created nor destroyed. This theory proofs the permanency of the soul or the self.

Hence, if we make our happiness ride on a temporary creation, we are indirectly setting a time span for that happiness. What is even worse is that the time span that we are setting is unknown to us because of temporary nature. Phew … confusing stuff huh ??? Well in laymen terms, the only way to feel permanent happiness is for happiness to originate from being self contented. If you are contented with yourself, you will not search or place happiness externally. You can be the source of your own happiness and happiness will then solely depend on you.

In short, just imagine if you have seven days to live, will it really matter what people think of you? Who loves you and who doesn’t? Whether you are wealthy or not? Whether he/she had cheated you or not? I can tell you that none of the above matters because dying ends this temporary role of yours instantly. Start living life by the moment and you will find that you look better when you smile ….

Fill me in with your thoughts ….

Distance & Love .....

2009-08-15T21:28:00.005+08:00

Well … finally I found some time to write my heart out here again. To those who frequently read my blog will know that I had always written a lot about love. In fact, I wrote about all kinds of love in the past … except the one that I am truly experiencing now.

I am a liar … I admit that … I lied to her that I will never love her again and went away without even calling her like I used too .. But now I am sitting here alone thinking what an idiot I am to let her out of my life. I met her when she was still studying abroad and proposed to her in the second mail I wrote to her. She was amazed with my stupidity and we soon became very close friends. The social network messaging and the late night chats was the place I tried to express my love to her. Those were the start of the best moments of my life. However, I only had about four months to talk to her and convince her of my love, before she returned to her home town.

She had always ask me one thing, what would happen when she returned to her home town ,where she is unable to chat and talk in Skype like before … I told her that I will not be upset and we should live life in the present and not think too much of the future. Well, to tell you the truth, I did not know what to tell her then except to keep calm and act as if I am not worried. Meeting her made me believe in two things, love at first sight and long distance relationships. She is from the same country that I live in but sometimes love is so magical that it tends to travels via the oceans that separate the land and I i guess that is how I fell in love with her …

Well, to tell you the truth, she wouldn’t be pleased to read the above but I can’t help my feelings anymore and I had to tell her this one truth before it is gone unsaid. I even went to the extent of doing all the things she requested me to do before moving into her silence. For example, she told me to find another girl and express my love to her …. She told me to concentrate on my work … she told me not to call her again and she told me not to lie again…. Well I did all the above. I even tried my level best to love another girl, but every time I spoke to that girl, it just reminded me of her being on the other side of the line. It is very difficult to have someone in your heart and love another person in front of you. I can boldly tell you that I might not be able to love anyone as much as I love her.

Well … I know it is really hard to love me back especially when you don’t feel the same way. I understand your feelings, but have you ever thought a guy will love you to this extent. The distance that you thought will break the love further apart had turned to be the fuel that continues to keep this love ignited. Well, distance had never been and will never be the barrier to continue loving someone as much as before. A man only falls in love once, and once he had fallen in love, the physically distance will always brings him closer to his love one. Before I end this post … I would like to ask my readers their opinion on long distance relationship … can it or can’t it succeed? As for me … I will continue waiting for her and hopefully she will realize my love before it is too late ...

I had also inserted this song in Hindi which very well explains distance and love …

Don't Be ......

2009-06-13T11:39:00.008+08:00

As rain pours down heavily outside, nowhere to go … like a bird trap in a cage, it is time to dissolve my silence once again. I have been trying to call her for days now… Unfortunately, she had not been picking up any of my calls. It is a very difficult phase for me and my performance at work is being affected by this emotional downturn. It is her voice that I hear before starting my daily work and it is her voice that allows me to close my eyes at night, knowing that she is safe. Today, I don’t think I will ever hear the voice that gave me the strength to move on after being in the dark for a year and a half.

I had made a mistake and I know many of you out there are making the same mistake. The mistake that I had made was not falling in love but it was being overly dependent to the person that I was in love with. Love is a beautiful feeling that often leads one to the path of dependency. In the start, this dependency is not noticed as love tends to blind its worshipers. However, if the relationship turns sour later, the delusion that love created fades and the pain of being dependent is felt. This feeling is really painful as some had even taken their life away after being unable to cope with it.

You probably be thinking that I am a love failure and that is the reason for the above statement. Well, I am not against love but the truth is painful and only the wise will notice it and not allow it to occur to them. Look at yourself; look at the activities you used to carry out before falling in love. I am sure you lived life with your own sets of principles and never needed much help from the people around you to carry out your daily chores or your liked activities. Now compare yourself after falling in love… exactly, see how many things had changed. To sleep, we would need to wait for her or his call. Before dining, we make sure that she or he had eaten or else we won’t eat. If he or she doesn’t want to watch a movie, we will not watch the movie though we had watched every single episode of that movie before falling in love. Some will call this madness, togetherness but I feel that love should never walk on two legs when it can walk on four to maintain its stability. Think about it … hmmm. Mother Theresa said that love starts at home; you got to love yourself before even trying to love someone else; In that way you will never lose yourself in spreading love.

When I started writing this post two weeks ago, I paused after a few lines and only continued writing it today. This is because I wanted to fully feel the pain of being dependent. Trust me; I am not fully cured from it yet. However, I am neither against falling in love. My advice to you reading this is… fall in love but don’t lose your true self in it. Make sure you continue doing everything that benefited you before the relationship; especially prioritizing your family, friends and the people that loved and cared for you from day one. Always remember that everything bounded by time is temporary, hence don’t overly hope or rely for an everlasting relationship.

We had come alone and we will leave alone …. Don't be dependent

Reliving the Past

2009-05-10T17:30:00.003+08:00

Though years had passed by, stepping foot on the land I spent most of my childhood revoked a strange feeling. A feeling that I am now finding difficult to describe by mere words. It had been secretly hiding for a very long time at a corner of my heart. I didn't expect this feeling to revisit me now. I have come here to find peace and rethink certain aspects of life. However, this feeling have suddenly intruded all my plans and brought me back to the past.

We can only live an instant of life once. Once it passes us it becomes memories of the past. Though this is the truth of life, I find it very difficult to accept her as just being memories of my past. She is too special to just be the past. It is true what people say; a woman can make or break a man. This is even truer if the woman had been there from day one, knowing almost everything about him and loving him not because of companionship. The love we shared is certainly irreplaceable, as this love was always unconditional. However, my bad fortune in love made me lose her early in life. If only I had her next to me now, I would be able to hug her and tell her how much she actually means to me. Life without her is never the same.

Sometimes when I am hungry, walking alone, upset or happy, I feel a certain presence beside me .I feel as though my hand is being held in guidance. I am sure that it was her trying to make me feel that she has not left me yet. On one side of my mind, I am starting to believe that her love will never fade though we had split up years ago. On the other side of my mind, I am not sure whether I am in denial of the truth that she is gone forever ... That is the reason, sometimes I wish could hear her voice again, to prove my mind's denial theory wrong .... Sigh. I had always wondered why people meet when they were not destined to be together forever....

Well I had figured it all out only today. Everyone coming into our life has a special role to play in shaping the person that we will become. Even if the relationship is for a short period of time, this person will teach us a valuable knowledge that will make us slowly realize our true self. If the person leaves us early, it doesn't mean that we were not destined to be with the person. What this actually means is that their part in this play had just ended. If this person is someone special, then we will need to learn to let go as the person is already living within us, in the knowledge that the person had passed on. My mom had made my life meaningful in many ways. Though today, I don't have her here physically to tell her my love and wish her happy mother's day, I am sure she will want me to learn to let go. This is because, only when we let go of our past, we can move forward to make our life more meaningful.

Before I end this post, I have three important advices for all my readers. These advices were actually learnt from reliving the past for a day or two. The first advice is ... we are all created uniquely ... start appreciating the uniqueness within ourselves because only then we can appreciate this life of ours and further make it meaningful. The second advice is ... if you believe in destiny and you are uncertain of the future with the person that is in love with you ... make the first step of making him or her your destiny by building the bridge toward the other end with unconditional love. Life has always been uncertain but we can make it certain by truly believing in the self or an event to occur. The last advice on this post is ... the greatest gift we can give anyone is love ... we need not buy them the most expensive gifts but all we have to do is to love them unconditionally so that when the last day comes, the relationship that we had with them would be meaningful. Now, I need to end this post here …but remember these advices as we will never be able to relive the past again the same way we did before.

PS: Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there and to everyone who had cared for me like my mother would do. There is no love like a mother’s love but to treat a stranger like your own son and shower him with unconditional love is divine. Thank you

Unwanted .....

2009-04-22T17:40:00.002+08:00

I am not sure how to start this post ... maybe this feeling just cant be expressed by ordinary words. Being alone these few days made me feel like an old man begging for love. It is certain that during the entire journey of life, one might not often feel such loneliness until nearing the end of the road. This is because, whenever able too throughout life, it is in our nature to get attached to the environment. Unfortunately, all these attachments are temporary and will slowly dissolves in time. Even family, blood relations and other love ones will forget our existence in time as we slowly become unimportant to them. From being someone special to being just memories at the end is the way today's relationships changes in time.

The truth is we are all only wanted or needed if we are able to give something back in return. I understand if this barter trade truth is really painful to accept. However, if you disagree, just visit an old folk’s home and observe the faces of the old who were loving parents to their children. Today, they are abandoned in loneliness with other similar fated parents feeling unwanted. All this can only happen because people are selfish and fickle. They only think of themselves and easily forget the sacrifices their love ones have done for them in the past. When questioned, they will ungratefully reply that the love was never asked upon and it isn't their fault for making the other person fall in love or feel love towards them.

Well, some don't have to grow old to feel this torturous feeling of being unwanted. They only have to love a girl who can never love them in return and only wants to be friends forever. It is not wrong for a girl to want only friendship from a guy but it is wrong for her to expect the guy not to fall in love with her and abandoned him after knowing his love for her. Love is uncontrollable at times and it is a feeling that comes because the soul recognizes its soul mate. This is the reason love happens randomly between two similar aura people. Hence it is not his fault either to love you for the person he sees you to be. I always had thought that women only wanted sincere and true love from their partners. However, today I know that true and sincere love is never enough to win the heart of these days women.... sigh ....

Before I end this post, I really want to share this with all of you. Love has always been related to happiness in some way. If you are seeking happiness from someone in the form of love, stop doing that as then your happiness will always depend on your partner. Love yourself first and only love another if you have happiness to share with that person. In that way, there will be no expectations as you will always be the giver of happiness. Besides that, all relationship in this world was asked upon except the relationship we have with our parents. This is the only relationship that was presented to us. It is our responsibility to ensure that this relationship last forever. Even the busiest person should never have the heart to abandon their parents to the homes. The pain of being alone and unwanted cuts like a knife, don't let them feel this pain in their old age. If it is not for them you and I will never be alive to achieve and enjoy this life of ours now. A mother's tear can form an ocean, don't let her tear because of you selfishness. Remember this always, charity starts at home take care of your parents first before taking care of anybody else in this world. This is the realization loneliness have given me so far.

I think I have written a lot now ... but I hope someone reading this post can give me the answer to the question below. Why is it that when something goes wrong in a love relationship, the person that we were in love with, treats us like a complete stranger and insist that they have only left us for our own good??? Whoever answers this question well ... I will give you a special acknowledgment in my next post. Thanks ...

The Confession

2009-04-02T09:46:00.001+08:00

I am sorry for the long absences; I hardly had time to do anything lately. Today, I have a confession to make. I thought it will be great to make it here, where thousands are reading. In this way, people will not make the same mistake that I have made and wouldn’t have to go through the reality that follows this mistake.

My trip to India had thought me the true meaning of humility. I learnt this from the beggars that often crowded me at the entrance of each temple that I had visited. It is never easy to beg as a beggar drops his or her pride to the lowest level in getting whatever they intend. Our egos most of the time would be the hindrance for us to do the same. Hence, today I will be like a beggar dropping my pride to admit this one truth publicly.

I had always thought myself as being the most important person in any organization or group that I am part of … may it be at the office or at home or simply with friends. I always thought that without me things would crumble and won’t be able to go on. I am not justifying my mistake but my past is partly to be blamed as it had often fueled this strange thought of mine. For example, when I left my previous company, after a few months down the road, they nearly close down. Often undergoing similar outcomes, this self importance feeling grew stronger until I termed myself as being the A-factor to the success of an organizations.

However things are different now. Ever since I started being an observer of life, I realize that with or without you life will somehow go on. Putting importance to your existence makes you attached to the play of life. This attachment further inflicts desires which will be the root cause of later unhappiness. In this temporary journey anything that changes in time is unreal and so is this form that is covering our true self. We will continue to go in circles if we ignore this truth of life. Hence, it is wise to be an observer for once rather than reacting to every situation happening in front of you. For example, do you think no one else would give a seat to an old lady in a crowded bus? I am sure someone will if you don’t stand up.

Well now my sleepy eyes are dragging my tired mind to a different wonderland. Hence, I think I better stop the preaching of this beautiful thought here. Last but not least, always remember that we cannot undo the past, but we can change the way we think today to help us shape a better future. I hope, you would drop a comment telling me what you think of this new perception of mine, as sharing is caring…. Thanx.

Music and lyrics .....

2009-02-22T18:53:00.004+08:00

Sometimes the best way to tell a girl how much she actually mean to you is via a song. I am not a lyricist nor a musician, but there is something about this song that i believe will touch the heart of the person listening to it. I am dedicating this song to all my readers especially her ...... let me know if you liked it.

PS: In order to appreciate the true meaning of the song, please allow the video to
fully stream before playing the song.

Gentlemen in love .....

2009-02-18T22:53:00.006+08:00

I have never felt this way before…. I guess sometimes it is good being an observer of life. People say that life is a choice. What they actually mean is … life is choice so long if you choose to live by the norms of the society. Unfortunately, this creates a boundary to the way a person can choose to live. Now…. Aren’t we being hypocrites by saying something and meaning something else?

After a stressful day at work…. to rethink life a bit…. I decided to take the longer way home. Instead of requesting my sister to pick me up, I took the train. Surprisingly, the train was half empty though it was a working day. I didn’t have to rush for a seat but instead I had the privilege to choose one…hmmm…how lucky. I decided to sit in front of two gentlemen, who dressed as though they were going for a ballroom party. As I was about to sit one of them smiled at me, I crafted a smile showing him I actually had a slight dimple….

As usual my eyes were straying from left to right …checking out the chicks that got in and out of the train. Suddenly, a gesture in front of me halted my straying eyes and brought it to a focus. The two gentlemen sitting in front of me started performing weird gestures among themselves. When I notice the action, their hands were already locked together. Minutes later, one of them leaned over the other’s shoulder and gently rubbed his partner’s chest. In return, the other partner grasp his thighs and slowly moved upwards……ok I won’t describe the scene further ….as I know some of you are already feeling disgusted and uncomfortable.

Well to tell you the truth, at that time I felt the same way. However, the saying the first glance never tells the truth about anything is certainly true. I realized later that evening that I was wrong to feel that way. I only felt that way because I was brought up with the heavy influence of the society on me. The society prefers to see love as being a commune feeling that is only felt between two different genders. The love here does not refer to the love felt in a family or the love felt in a friendship but it refers to the love felt by a soul that recognizes its true partner.The sad part is we have maintained the word love for the love felt between a man and a woman but had changed the word to gay or lesbian only because the same love was felt between two same genders.

If only everyone had seen love as a feeling felt by the soul towards another soul, there won’t be an issue of gender arising.Life is short, we probably only live it once…. Hence, it is important we make the right choices in life rather than just following the norm which might not always seem right for us. Nevertheless, it is also important to respect others around you…. Hence guys and girls stop smooching in the trains with your partners whether if they are from the same or different gender. For god sake, don’t make your love a public affair when it is suppose to be a private and valued relationship.

At this point in life, I can only tell you one thing………..

In life, we will only meet the people we need to meet, and everyone that we meet will teach us a valuable knowledge that will slowly unveil to us the reason of this birth…..look beyond the physical matter and you will find the true beauty of all relationships.

Second Chance ......

2009-01-26T13:51:00.003+08:00

Well I know I had been missing in action for a while. However, I must say I am glad that all of you are still reading. It is never easy to write a post that satisfies everyone, and what is even harder is to make a decision in life which favors all. Hence, we end up making hasty decisions that lead to mistakes which later becomes the root cause of our unhappiness. Making mistakes is part and puzzle of life. No one was born perfect hence only through mistakes and the right knowledge one can achieve some sort of perfection in life.Mistakes are actually a sign that proofs we are evolving whether for the better or the worse that depends on the situation and the way we approach the consequences of our actions.

It is sad that we failed to understand the importance for one to make mistakes and react by punishing people instead. Sometimes a mistake is rather small but due to uncontrollable emotions at that time, the mistake is often blown out of proportion. This later can lead to a worsen situation where one can lose their jobs, their family, their status in the society and even the love of their life. Well a criminal that had acted against the law deserves to be punished but how are we to punish one for their imperfections, as no man were created perfect in the first place. If only she understood this, my love will still be meaningful to her.

We never were told the future but rather were left to shape it with our believe and trust. Ever since meeting her six months ago, she had become an essential to my living. Her voice is like a mantra that I need to hear each morning so that my heart could feel safe knowing she is safe. Her presence is like having god as my shadow, with the confidence she enable me to create by just being present in my life. Her love is the nectar that all born would seek as it emanates the bliss of unity. She is my angel, god, mother-like, family and the love of my life. I found it impossible to name this relationship as she played multiple roles in my life, hence we were both comfortable leaving it as a no name relationship at the beginning. Ever since meeting her, I felt that god rewarded me for all the good that I have done in my life as I had never felt so happy before and even when I was sad it was never elongated. I was feeling as though I was on cloud 9.

Well people say that problems are like the wind, even if one shuts all the windows it will still find a way in. Well until today she had never told me once also that she loves me. She always wanted me to be her friend as she felt that she was not ready for a relationship. I actually understood how she felt at the beginning and didn’t want to force her into loving me. However, I would remind her of my love every now and then hoping that one day she would see the sincerity in it. Unfortunately, the reminder was always taken in the wrong way and we often fought because of this. She fails to understand that the only reason I keep reminding her of this love is because I am afraid to lose her and I want her to be the one in my life as I know I will be able take care of her like a queen. Well, my hopes of winning her heart were soon to be wracked because of a mistake.

I returned from from Kota Kinabalu with a very bad fever which took four days to completely cure. During this time, I was on very high dosage of medication that made me drowsy. As usual I drank my medicines and was going to bed. Suddenly, I received a sms from her requiring some flight information. Without thinking, I rush to my computer and started chatting with her. After that, all I could remember is that we fought but I don’t remember the reason or the words that I had uttered that night. The next morning, I received a sms from her stating the bad behavior that I had portrayed last night and that she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I tried explaining to her that I had been on medication but that only made her forgive me but not forget the incident. Basically, I am being punished for an unaware action, a mistake. I know it is very hard for her to trust me like before or even accept me like before. However, I would just like to tell her this, the true strength of any relationship is trust, and if trust is lost the relationship automatically dies. A guy can act to be good but he can never act to be sincere because sincerity comes from the heart and one must feel love to be sincere. After promising on my own father and she still could not believe me then I am not sure what else I must do to make her believe me.

Ever since we stop talking three days ago, though alive I feel dead. I am really not sure of my mistakes but if I had hurt her, I just hope she will forgive me and accept me as before …. All my heart needs now is a second chance to undo the mistakes of the past …….If you are reading this and is suffering a similar pain please feel free to share.

Do you think a person should be given a second chance in life after committing a mistake?

Promises .....

2008-12-31T09:55:00.003+08:00

I have notice something lately, only time is the true narrator of one’s own life story. Seeing how people change around me like a flick of a finger, made me realize that life goes by us like a flash. One day you are on top of the world ….wanted and needed by everyone … the other, you are flat on your back with nothing except for those sweet memories of the past. This uncertainty only leaves man with one thing …. hope which is normally derived from a past promise.

The problem is we give promises that we can’t keep. These promises are often taken lightly at the time they are uttered … but to our partners, these promises might actually be the foundation that they have built their faith and love on. I have been to so many marriages where the couples promised upon god, the holy fire and themselves to remain loyal to their partners. However, six months down the road they split up, calling the help of a legal word termed divorce.

Why marriages or relationships previously lasted longer is the question everyone should asked themselves. Well the answer certainly lies in the changes that the society had undergone. Factually, men have always been known for their ego, macho, and anger. Some also are known to be sweet talkers and flirts. These behavioral characteristics had never left man till this present day. However, the people that had actually changed are the women. They used to be gentle, polite, cultured, mannered, respectful and sincere in every of their acts. However, these behaviors are rarely seen in women today. Sadly to say that ever since women started changing man like they were changing their clothes, even love has lost its permanency.

Well I know many of you ladies reading this probably is already thinking I am a male chauvinist pig. Well the truth hurts that is why it is rarely spoken these days. Face it; god didn’t create man and women equally. He created you women better than men. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have trusted creation to be on the hands of women. He wouldn’t have termed the earth as being a women and he wouldn’t have termed every great thing existing today from the rivers to the mountains to be a women. Well the truth is behind every happy family is a mother that loves, behind every happy husband is a wife that loves, behind every successful man is a woman and behind every man’s tear is also a woman. A woman can choose to break, make or remain a relationship and the order of the society; hence it is important for her to be certain of her decisions.

Besides that, I also notice that when a man prays he always prays for himself but when a woman prays she prays first for her family and only then for herself. Hence, it is assured that if the woman of the house is proper, the man will never stray. Unfortunately, the destruction of the society started when women chased equality with man and degraded themselves. Today, they are slowly losing the extra ability and value that god had given them. Nevertheless, it is not too late to save the society as women can always recover from this delusion that hit them by realizing this one truth.

Remember this always, never rush into a relationship and never carry on a relationship that is not worth it into marriage. This is because this decision can jeopardize not only your future but later your children’s future too. Marriage is a permanent knot that should only be tied once in life; Marry the person that had been sincere to you at all times and not the guy that thought he loved you before. There are a very few good man out there that will give everything up for a woman and if you find him to be part of your life now never apart from him.

The Behavioral Theory

2008-12-11T20:11:00.003+08:00

This thought was bugging me all week long but I just couldn’t find the time to pen it down. It was triggered by noticing the change of behavior that my aunty and uncle recently displayed. I am a person that does not enjoy visiting relatives especially if I have to travel to see them. Though being with them is really fun but the thought of traveling really irritates me. Hence, my uncles and aunties would only see me once or twice annually.

The last time I visited this particular aunty and uncle was a year and a half ago. At that time the change of behavior was not so prominent. I remember my aunty being very soft spoken and lady like a few years back. At that time, my uncle was the commanding person and the manly figure of the house. However when I visited them last weekend, I noticed that as my aunty aged she became more commanding and manly. On the other hand, as my uncle aged he became more soft spoken and lady like. This observation made me very restless as I knew that it is not because of queen control that this change is taking place. Hence, I observed other couples and noticed similar changes in them too.

Could these findings be pointing to an undiscovered behavioral theory …. that a man would live like a man but would die a woman and a woman would live like a woman but would die a man….If this theory is true, then man and woman were created to age in opposite gender behavioral characteristic. This theory would further fuel the famous saying that a woman lives within every man and a man lives within every woman. Hence, the next question that probably needs to be answered is that why in the first place a woman starts behaving like a woman and not like a man or vice versa.

Well it is probably culture, society and the environment that had help maintain a woman and a man’s behavioral characteristics as present. However, nature is such that it will find a balance in all that it consumes and hence this explains why the behavioral changes take place slowly as we age. The thing that is assured that we do not need to be a woman to behave like one or we do not need to be a man to behave like one . Eliminating the physical anatomy barriers, whatever a man can do, a woman is certainly able to do. Nevertheless, the true beauty of a particular gender is to maintain the behavioral qualities, characteristics and attributes of that gender so that the uniqueness of mankind prevails.

I guess it is safe to say now that we certainly do not need a man or a woman externally to complete our life …. as both these genders are actually living within us.

In her absence .......

2008-11-29T18:38:00.004+08:00

We keep living life as routine. Family …work … friends …love.... it just seems like life is a never ending cycle that had grown beyond our control. Hmmm … How meaningless life have become when it is suppose to be that one chance that we have to live it to the max and at the same time realize ourselves. The funny part is when we realize this truth; we probably lived three quarters of life and there is no turning back. Lucky enough for me, I realized this when she left to Geraldton four days ago. My lonely mind didn’t allow me to rest well at night. Missing her dearly my mind started to think of the unthinkable.

It is then I noticed that there is more to life than just work, family, friends and love. Many of us feel hurt from the smallest problems that arise. Many of us get attached to family, friends, love and even our pets. Some are even willing to give up their precious life's just because of a minor failure. Sometimes I wonder whether our education system had failed us. It had thought us all sorts of knowledge except for the way to appreciate and live life. Maybe our education system left that part for our religion to guide. Oh god …. People can’t practice religion today as it is so confusing on which practice is actually right. Today, one religion condemns the practice of another. Hence in religion itself, many get lost and end up forming groups so that they get a sense of security that they are living life the right way.

Since our education system and our religion had failed us, how are we suppose to live life the right way is probably the next question on your minds. Well this is a very difficult question with a very simple answer. We have to learn to detach ourselves from the routine cycle of life. A baby cries for the first time as soon as it gets detached from its mother, same here … we would only tear the tears of realization if we temporary detach ourselves from our attachments and desire. In a crowd we can only seek externally for the answers of life but left alone we will start to seek internally for those answers. It is then that we will find our true self and realize the purpose of this birth.

Remember always, we had come alone and will leave alone. The least that we should do is seek the purpose of this birth. The comfort that we feel today will diminish one day. We will become memories to the people that we leave behind. Realize this now and live your life so that it will be meaningful to you before you leave to that better place. In her absences i had found myself and found the true meaning of love .........i now want her in my life as only then it will make the life that i had lived more meaningful.

Perfection or Sincerity ........

2008-11-23T23:25:00.003+08:00

When I first penned my thoughts on this blog, there was only one thing on my mind. I wanted my writings to be able to touch the hearts of my readers and provided them solutions to the problems that I had faced. At first, I used to directly write my post on the write pad provided by Blogspot. Most of the time after each post, I used to be very contented knowing that I had written my hearts out. After a while I noticed that the sincerity of the content was never important as compared to the grammar of the post. I was told that writing is an art and only a few can master it. At that point, I knew that I was not a good writer and needed to improve. I took these critics positively and started to improve my grammar. Though now my writing is not perfect but I believe that it had tremendously improved as to before. However, now when I type my post it doesn’t allow me to freely express myself as I am conscious of the public's perfection needs.

Well the fact is that for perfection to be achieved sincerity has to be sacrificed. This is because perfection is a value set by the society and sincerity on the other hand is the measurement of one’s truthful thought or action. Hmmm …. Ever asked yourself when was the last time you had chose your own clothing and bought it because you actually liked it. Well we make all the decision till we enter the shop but when it comes to choosing the clothes; we always trust the opinion of the person next to us. It just seems like the decisions that we make is always based on the society rather than our own true self. We live life today for the society and not for ourselves. This is really sad because if we continue living this way, we would not be able to make sincere decision as all our decision will be made on the basis to impress others.

It’s clear that the society does not value the sincerity of one’s action. All that matter to them is that if the action is not perfect then it’s not worth having the person there. This is an often scenario that happens in our workplace or even in love. The moment something messes up, the sincerity of us being in the relationship from the start or the sincere prior work performance does not matter anymore. Fearing the society, people start to act as someone they are not just to impress others. Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself if you are living a lie? What is the point of living a lie because you would just make this short life... shorter. I don’t intend to lie to myself anymore but telling the truth sometimes gets one into serious trouble. She had always told me not to lie but can she except the truth of this sincere love I have for her. Will she worry of the society and what they will brand her for leaving her love ones just to unite with me? These were some of the questions that I asked myself for weeks….

She broke her silence two days ago by letting me know her sincere heartfelt. I was upset hearing the truth but I knew I couldn’t blame her for not feeling the same way towards me. She wasn’t scared about the society but she was scared that I would not be able to accept this truth. Hence, she hid this truth so that I could be happy with her for a few months. Knowing that she will be leaving soon, made me feel that my sincere love did not mean anything to her as it was not perfect….but let us think again, which girl will take the risk of jeopardizing her own love just to make another guy happy for a few months .She made the sincerity of my love worthy by transcending it into happiness which allowed me to build my confidence to face the world later. I thought sincerity has lost its meaning, but so long true love exist sincerity will never fade its colors. In search of perfection, never neglect your true sincere self as that is all that you will bring to that better place.

Unconditional Love ..........

2008-11-09T10:49:00.005+08:00

As time ticks closer to the final day of her being in overseas, the joy is clearly heard in her voice as she will soon be reuniting with her love ones. She has been away for nearly a year now and I am sure her family is anxious to see her again. A part of me feels really happy for her but the other half feels a sad untold feeling. It was not long ago, when my garden of love had a bright sunshine shining above it. I knew that one day the dark clouds would come over this garden but I didn’t expect it to be so soon. When we were yards apart, our hearts were closer but now as she moves closer to me, I am not sure if the love will ever be felt as before.

You are probably wondering the reason of my doubt and feel I should be happier as she is coming closer now. Well maybe it is time to tell you another love story. Like all of you reading this blog now, three months ago I invited her to read my writings. We became instant chat buddies. My urge to hear her voice extended our friendship to become skype buddies. Ever since then, we would talk all night till early in the morning. Her voice is like nectar to the bees. It gives one a sense of confidence and a really nice feeling by just hearing to her. She would make things interesting by playing games, bets and also at times singing to me. I felt a great happiness being around her. I soon thought that I had finally found my true love.

However, it didn’t take long before she put a full stop to my love thought by letting me know that she is already taken. Normally a guy would leave at this point as he knows he can’t get the happiness that he seeks. Nevertheless, knowing this one truth, my love didn’t allow me to leave her.Time to time, I would remind her of my love and she would really feel upset that she can't return the love back even if she wants too. This at times made me feel that it was pointless trying to make her understand my love. The distress I felt made me seek spiritual help. One day after meditation, the voice from above reminded me of a Purana (an ancient story) that I had read many years back which might help me feel better.

It was the 9^th reincarnation of the lord on earth, Krsna a cow herd boy in Vrndavan. In this form the lord managed to illustrate the true meaning of love. He had met his true love when they were babies. Radha was thought to be born blind, till she heard the sound of the bells of Krsna’s anklets and opened her eyes for the first time to see him. Ever since then, they couldn’t be separated. The love grew stronger each day as they grew up together. It was a few months before their marriage, when Radha and Krsna’s grandmother Paurnamasi said that they did not match up properly astrologically for long term marital happiness. Their parents were astrology believers and decided to marry Radha and Krsna elsewhere. As Radha left Krsna for the first time, Krsna felt a tremendous amount of love bursting out and refused to wake up from his bed for months. One day he got up and rode his chariot in search of her but she was no where to be found. Later, Radha was married elsewhere with her heart only for Krsna and the same way Krsna felt when he married Sathyabama and Rukmani.

We sometimes meet our true love but fate is such it doesn’t allow us to be together. That doesn’t make the love that we feel false. Love is a language spoken by the soul and only the soul recognizes its true partner. My love story is coming to its climax soon. Whatever the outcome, I‘ll be that Krsna that can never forget the love that I feel for her hoping that one day she will be mine again. If you love someone love her unconditionally and your love will succeed.

One lie leads to another ......

2008-11-02T13:15:00.006+08:00

The phrase one lie leads to another is so true. In relationships, people often lie to be in the good books of their partner. They fear that by being their true self, they would not be accepted. Some also lie to cover up their wrong doings in the relationship. Normally, this lying phase happens at the start of a relationship when the impression matters. Unfortunately, the lies that are told then tend to surface somewhere in the middle of the relationship which most of the time leads to a painful cheated feeling or a break up.

I am not perfect. Hence, I’ll admit that I lied to her at the beginning of our relationship. The reason I lied was because of the fear of losing her to another person. I wanted to know badly where I stood in her life. Hence I used the trust of having her email password to read three of her mails. She somehow knew I read her mails but acted as if she didn’t know about it. I felt guilty but I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth then, as this will end the trust she had on me. I kept silent hoping that one day our relationship would grow strong enough so that I could tell her this lie and she would understand the reason I lied.

Unfortunately, four days ago I told her another lie. I had promised on her that my statement was true when it was not. Again, the reason I lied was because we had a fight that morning and she didn’t want me to speak to her ever. I didn’t know what to do then, so I lied to her hoping things would solve. The lie managed to calm things down. However, I felt very guilty the whole day. On the way back from work, I went to a temple nearby asking for god’s forgiveness and guidance. I realize then that I needed to tell her the truth or it will be unfair to her and the trust that she has on me.

That night when we talked, I told her that I lied in the morning. She became really upset and started thinking that all I did for her before was a lie. She felt that she was an idiot to believe me all this time. It seems like the trust she had on me crumbled at that instant. The worst part was two days later; I accidentally blatted the email lie to her. This was like rubbing salt into her wounds. I believe that she no longer trust me now. Well when the trust is lost, then at that instant the love is lost. Our relationship will never be the same because of these lies that I had told her.

Well, I learnt a good lesson the painful way. I hope she will forgive me, as I wish to be truthful to her from now on. I know to regain her trust will never be easy. However, I will try my best as these very lies were told so that I could be with her forever. If you are in a relationship and your partner lied to you, think of the reason of their dishonesty before scolding them. If the reason for the lie was to be closer to you, scold them but do not lose them with your words.Remember, lying is bad but a liar needs to have a motive to lie and why can’t love be that motive.

What a phrase !!!

2008-10-18T22:27:00.004+08:00

The phrase behind every successful man is a woman is so true. Though at times it may be more than one woman (if you know what I mean), but the beautiful message that this phrase carries is never lost. However, I feel that the person who came up with this phrase must have had a loving mother, sister, wife or daughter to utter such meaningful words to describe his success as being her. I wouldn’t deny that my mother and my X contributed a lot to my success, especially during my university days when they were always there to comfort me through the ups and downs of life.

However, this outburst only lasted a few years until I discovered that everything good have to come to an end someday. I had realized this fact when my X decided that I was no longer good enough for her and a year later when my mom left me for that better place. It seems like the person that came up with the above phrase, failed to realize that behind every man’s tear is also a woman. Nevertheless, I am not here to get myself into a battle of the sexes. Having lost them both, I thought that I was doomed. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks, though it has already been a year since the initial lost.

When I least expected things to change for the better, one morning I found myself staring at a coin at the train station. It then occurred to me that maybe I had only experience one half of the tale of life and had already concluded that life is full of pain. I then promised myself to give life another chance, strongly believing in the other side of the tale. However this time, I didn’t go in search of love but instead waited for love to search me. All I was hoping is to meet a person that cares, loves and trusts just like my mom had for me. I also hoped that our relationship was not to be shortcoming as I didn’t want to suffer the pain of losing another love one. Out of the blues, I met a girl on the net which I really love a lot. Unfortunately no matter what happens between us, she has a fix mind to marry her boyfriend who is awaiting her. I don’t blame her as she is just sacrificing true love to keep her word.

During the phase of trying to proof my love to her, I realized that true love need not be proven nor spoken. This realization came from someone that would act as my friend just to give me advice on loving her. The person also knew that I didn’t feel comfortable speaking this matter face to face. Hence, he spent his precious time advising me via online chats. The person I am talking about is my father. It took me twenty five years to realize that a woman lives forever in a man’s heart as love. The love my mom had given him, made me feel her presences within him. This feeling made me realize that he is no different from her.

In life we tend to ignore certain people thinking we wouldn’t discover anything from them. However, their silence doesn’t mean that they don’t love or care. You would only receive if you seek. Hence, don’t be afraid to seek, as what you may receive might be that permanent one.

God's form on Earth

2008-10-12T22:13:00.008+08:00

Being religious in nature, many people have asked me whether I have seen God in person. At first, I used to avoid answering this question, as I always thought that the relationship of one with God is personal and shouldn’t be made public. On the other hand, I was also contemplating whether if they could accept my answer to this rather weird question. This made me mum in silence for a very long time.

The silence that I had observed helped me realize the true place where god resides. The scriptures were never wrong, when they uttered that God Is the creator. As for me, I can only see God in the form of my parents. They had created me, protected me, guided me, educated me and now let me free to create my own world. I feel that our parents are the God that is known to us with a form which we are able to relate to easily as humans.

You may argue with me using the point that God is everlasting. Well like chapters to a book, in phases of life, God takes various forms to continue being with us. However, it is important that we value God in all forms that the lord chooses to take in our lives, especially in the form of our parents. In life we are obligated to carry out duties righteously which fruit from self imposed responsibilities. However, notice here that the only responsibility that was ever asked upon was the responsibility of a child towards his or her parents. It is a responsibility that we were born with and must carry out.

Our parents never had expected anything from us. Even if they had, it was only to make us better and successful beings. This is the only love that is true and is unconditional in nature. I feel that we as children should never forget them forever. We don’t have to buy them huge gifts, as the mere thought of calling or a simple kiss on their cheeks, will give them a purpose to live longer in their old age. For those who are studying, remember the hardship they had gone through to enable us to achieve our dreams. Don’t put their hardship to waste, as you would make the many dirty plates that your mother had washed fruitless. If you are working, remember that every penny that you are earning came from them breaking their bones for you.

When I started to earn, I was desperate to repay my parents, especially my mother who had made me the person I am today. Unfortunately at that time, she was already on her dying bed. However, I didn’t give up as I knew that I could still serve her in the short period that we had together. I still remember buying her favorite croissant which she would munch at the end of every month as soon as I received my salary. I could only buy her four croissants, before she left me for a better place. I hope you all will be in better fate in repaying your parents, before losing them forever.

Life may be temporary, but it is in this temporary period that our hearts are touched by many. Don’t forget the people that have touched our hearts or you might lose them forever.

Women ....

2008-10-06T17:17:00.004+08:00

It was only three in the morning but the temple bells were already ringing. It seems as though the holy city of Benares doesn't give in to the night. Excited to see Her for the first time, I took a few steps closer before taking a seat in front of her. I had sung her glories in the past but today I am truly blessed to be sitting in front of her. Flowing from the world's highest peak, She purifies her children that depend on her by carrying their dirt, illnesses, and remains. She had always displayed a true quality of a mother that sacrifices herself for her children.

I closed my eyes trying to meditate upon her, not knowing that the knowledge that she was about to teach was to come from the activities that was happening at her banks. Sitting at the Hanuman Gath, which is located in between the Harish chandra Gath and the Manikarnika Gath, allowed me to realize true meaning of life and death. Both these Gaths are regarded as holy crematoriums, which millions believe that being burned here provides an instant liberation from the cycle of births and rebirths. The ashes are then immersed in the Ganges which will purify the remains and allow the soul to be liberated. As I opened my eyes, the bright fire of a burning funeral pyre at the Harish Chandra Ghat attracted my mind. Holding on to her children, a widow was crying as her husband reduces slowly to ashes.

It was not long ago, where a Hindu wife used to willingly jump into the burning funeral pyre of her husband. This practice was known as Sati or Sahagamana. This practice started when the king's daughter, Sati jumped into the fire unable to stand her father from humiliating her living husband, Shiva. Since then, many noble women performed Sati as they believed that they were part of their husbands and being part of their husbands, when he is dies, they believed it’s only righteous for them to die too. This kept marriage a very sacred relationship for centuries.

It may seem ridiculous and cruel to perform such an act today. However, knowing the reason behind the practice of Sati can help strengthen the marriage bond between a husband and his wife in today’s society. A wife should never leave her husband to stray. She has to remember the promise that she had made during the marriage ceremony to keep her husband safe and happy. A woman’s greatest strength is her patience. She has to use that to her advantage when dealing with her husband and children. Remember this; a man always thinks from his mind but a woman thinks from her heart. This is the reason men are most of the time egoistic, and hurting their ego’s will just draw the marriage further. A woman should aim not to win the immediate battles (quarrels) but to win the war by keeping her family together. A Woman symbolizes the wellness of her family and generations to come, this is the responsibility put on her shoulders by God.

When I was writing this post, I was told to write it to my best but I am not sure if this is my best. Nevertheless, after reading it once, I notice that this post is really special as without my knowledge I had describe the three roles a woman would play in her life time. In the first paragraph, I described her as being a mother which is one of the holiest relationship bonds on earth. In the second paragraph I described her as being God. Women created the form of the fetus from herself and ensured it was safe in her before delivering it to the world. Relating to her as the creator makes her God. In the third and fourth paragraph, I described her as being a responsible wife which will ensure wellness of generations to follow . A woman can live without a man but no man can live without a woman.

Taking for Granted .....

2008-09-26T13:04:00.005+08:00

I must admit one thing in life; it is never easy to find a girl that is compatible. I think, I have met many in the past 25 years but unfortunately all of them were just direction pointers. However, I have no regrets in knowing them because they had actually thought me important lessons in life. Patience, anger management, punctuality and controlling emotions are some of their valuable teaching that I had managed to grasp just by being around them. I guess this is the true beauty of a woman, they don't have to do much to prove they are valuable, as their very presence will make the person that love them feel valuable.

Well, while the single look for their compatible partners, at the other extreme some that have already indulged themselves in relationships are suffering to maintain it. Some had unfortunately fallen out of love after a few years down the road, some are probably having an affair outside their marriage and others is still trying to make their partners realize the importance of this relationship. Hence if you’re not in any of the above categories, consider yourself lucky as you had probably found your true love or the problems haven’t cropped up yet. However, finding your true love is not as important as keeping the relationship lasting forever. It is very difficult to maintain a relationship especially in today's fast moving world, where people jump in and out a relationship like changing their clothes.

I always had a doubt whether the very love which brought people together is actually the cause that drew them further away later. Well, I sincerely feel that people in love tend to take their partners for granted. Since the start of the relationship, they had relied too much on this fantasy word LOVE and expected things around them to fall in place. Remember this; Love becomes just another word from the English dictionary, if it is not followed through by responsible actions. If you are really in love, then you must be responsible to all your actions, in and outside the relationship. Sacrificing, understanding, trust and care are the four main pillars that actual strengthen the word love and must be abide by whoever is in love or claims to be in love. One should only fall in love, if the qualities above are able to be displayed. If not, it’s better not getting into a relationship as you will definitely get hurt or cause pain to the people that had trusted you.

Last but not least, for those who are recovering from a breakup or a divorce, you would realize that either you or your partner had failed to understand the true meaning of love and also failed to practice the qualities that actually strengthen love. If you are still in denial then you would probably disagree here and would either still be adamant in getting your partner back or planning a revenge. Nevertheless, the truth hurts but accepting this pain is part of the responsibility that one must be willing to accept in love. I feel that in order to love, you have to love yourself first to understand love, before you can share your love with someone special. Never ever take you love one for granted, as if they leave you, they leave you forever.

Do you think that people in love take each other for granted??? Fill me with your thoughts .....

The One Thing .......

2008-09-17T15:56:00.007+08:00

We had forgotten the one thing that had all this time kept us together. As we got closer, without our knowledge this thing grew stronger. It allowed us to speak our hearts out without worrying to be misunderstood. Life can never be so truthful without it. I am not talking about the four letter word, love here. To me love is only a fragrance and this thing is the breeze that carries that fragrance. This thing is the true strength of the roots of all relationships.

Sometimes I feel that we were born with the ability to exhibit this thing to the people around us. If not we would not be able to feed our hungry stomachs to the milk that our mothers had produce. Without this thing, we wouldn’t be able to know our own fathers. Furthermore, mingle with our friends as though they were part of us. Having this thing makes us able to comprehend the very God who is not physically visible. Besides that, it also keeps two people closer though they are miles apart.

At any moment, if this thing is lost in a relationship, the relationship will start to crumble. This thing is hard to rebuild after its initial lost but it is also not impossible to rebuild. However at this point of time it is only love and memories of a person that can help to rebuild this lost thing, in a relationship. If you are still guessing what I am going on about, probably you are not aware that you have this ability in you.

Well, the thing that I am talking about is trust, the base of all relationships. It is important to value ones trust on you but it is more important not to sacrifice the trust that yourself had put on you, to make this life meaningful. You will only have yourself at the end of this long journey of life, so start trusting yourself and live life to its best.

PS: First of all forgive me for this short post. After this post, I am going to stop writing for a while to take some rest. All I hope is you would TRUST that I will return stronger, hopefully in a couple of weeks time. I also hope that this post was meaningful to you and hope you will drop your comments on this post soon. Thanks, as I don’t know what I will do, without you reading………

Mind plans ........

2008-09-15T23:36:00.002+08:00

I decided to sleep early last night so that I would get enough sleep to face the week’s challenges. As my tired body rested on the cozy bed, I thought I would doze off easily. However, my mind had other plans instead and chose not to give in to the cold night. It kept reminding me of the past, which made me very restless. Time had passed so fast and sometimes I feel that I have no control over it anymore. My life is so messed up and I am unsure of where it is leading me now. I was told many times before that if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. Maybe my stubbornness to take the advice then had led me to this uncertain feeling today.......

How is someone to plan his life when the very life of his is so uncertain? For instance, I always wanted to be a pilot but now look at me.... I am an engineer. To be honest, I did priory plan my life to its details. However, none of my plans worked out as planned, though I had put enough effort in trying to make them successful. Well ... the person that I had loved the most and planned to marry had also proven to me that it is impossible to plan life ahead, when she left me for another guy. What am I to do now? I know time is running out fast and I had probably lived half my life without knowing the true purpose of it. My heart started to beat faster as I feared this ultimate truth. Trying to calm myself down for nearly an hour; I still couldn’t answer the numerous questions that were clouding my mind. It felt as though I was staring at reality and was unable to accept it.

It didn't take long that night for my mind to resume its abuse on whatever was left of my faith. Being able to induce a thought that came from a book I had read recently, my mind was nearly able to empower the entire me with its misconceptions. According to the book, god has already preplanned every event that happens in one’s life and even by knowing this truth; one would continue living life as uncertain. If this text is really true then I had certainly somehow got into the wrong books of god and I am now paying the price for it. It is at this point in life that the faith in the self never fails one. More than I had believed God himself, I had always believed in myself first, as it is I for now that I can see and also feel.

If God had preplanned my life to undergo suffering, it’s because he wanted me closer to him and not further from him. A famous saint had constantly requested for god to grant him suffering, so that he could think of the almighty all the time. This is because; it is only when suffering we humans tend to remember our creator. Even having lived life until our last breathe, we would probably never know the actual purpose of our birth. Nevertheless, we could try to plan life to a certain level but it will never be the same as living life for the present with the faith on the self in achieving its birth purpose. Don’t plan life, live life.

Can we be FRIENDS ???

2008-09-12T15:07:00.020+08:00

Can a man and a woman be friends without having any other intentions? This is a very good question as most of you reading this is probably in a friendship with one of a different gender. Well, I am certain many of you would answer this question rather casually by saying “YES of course” and probably wouldn't even give the question a second thought. However, if you had answered YES, then my next question is ...Why is that you would think twice or choose not to go at all, when the same guy that you thought to be a friend asks you to accompany him alone to the cinemas ???

Well, to me I feel that friendship is a word given to describe a special relationship which was formed solely by trust. One was never born into a friendship nor was asked to promise to keep a friendship. This relationship governs feelings such as togetherness, care, and most importantly trust. Being aware of the meaning of friendship, why is that people still give the above cinema question a second thought or rejection. In order to answer this question, we have to first look at the bigger picture ... the SOCIETY itself.

Today, the society we live in has miraculously evolved to a state that it leaves a huge confusion on the right and wrong doings of people living in it. What used to be wrong those days seems to be casually accepted today. For instance, if a girl and a guy those days would have held hands in front of their parents, this action would be seen as being disrespectful. However, today the same couple can even kiss in front of their parents and no one will say a thing about it. Though this extensive changes took place during the modernization of the society, there are still some urban perceptions which are still maintained especially when it comes to the relationship between a man and a woman. The truth is the society has always been the boundary to all that chooses to live within it. If a girl is to be seen together with a guy in the cinemas alone, the society which is the people around them would immediately brand them as being couples. Hence, afraid of being branded, people tend not to visit places of such alone but rather would visit them with a group of friends instead. However, the feeling of watching the movie with a huge group of friends will never be the same as watching the movie with her alone. Hence, the society is the first reason why a girl and a guy can't just be friends as their entire actions are bounded by the society.

Well I feel that the society shouldn't take the full blame for not allowing a girl and a guy to maintain a friendship. I believe that all problems arise because of one's attachments or expectations. It is so common that having known a friend for a very long time and afraid of losing him or her, one tries to take their friendship up another level into love. The ultimate truth is that no human being can live life alone. Hence it is one's natural instincts that get them attach or urge them to find a partner. This insecure feeling was never call upon; hence you can't blame the friend that chooses to love for betraying the trust of friendship. In fact, I myself would prefer marrying a girl who is priory my friend because of the many advantages; such as being able to understand each other better. Nevertheless, having this insecure feeling yet again dampens the hope of maintaining a friendship between a guy and a girl.

Well it is not wrong to fall in love nor is it not wrong to continue being friends. However, one should understand that we can't fall in love with all our opposite sex friends....yikes that will be crazy ...hence this proves that being friends with the opposite sex is not impossible but it is just heavily bounded. At the same time, if love is felt for a particular friend, one should not destroy the love in the name of friendship, as many true love had always originated from a true friendship.

Friendship will remain uncertain until it meets love……