My Indulgence

The one mistake everybody remember and forget all the good

2019-05-15T05:33:00.004+08:00

One mistake and you’re done. Its a sad reality about life and about how people see us.

Its always the way when we try pleasing others. We end up pleasing no one. Guilty as charged, im one of those who forget and reflected upon the feeling of being judged and worst being talked about. I mean, its not a good feeling. It makes me paranoid and I dont like it.

All the good that you’ve done will go down the drain;

into oblivion. Im reminded of one qoute of a famous gestalt psychologist :

I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations,
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.
If not, it can't be helped.

Fritz Perls

This line said it all; we just cant please peaple, when we commit mistakes they seem to highight it and forget the good things that we have done. If so then so be it. We cant do anything about it. Its time to move on to life and live . Pleasing others will just bring us to no where but exhausted and tired.

Wait no more!

2019-02-05T13:03:00.001+08:00

From bud

To bloom

I just posted this morning about buds and waiitng and now alas! the bloom is here!
How very soon!
It’s over a week and now here she is. The other bud is still close,
Will check agin tomorrow.

On buds and waiting

2019-02-05T07:51:00.002+08:00

two buds of this unknown stinky

Up close

I posted the close up picture on Instagram with a caption that goes I hope this bud would open soon. Im so excited to see the beauty of that bud. I have been waiting for it to open since last week,I check on it daily and have seen the change everyday. Though I really can't tell the detailed growth but I felt it has changed from that daily checking.

Waiting, seems to be simple word. Defined by Webster"s dictionary as to stay in expectation of; to look forward expectantly. Wow. that's really deep. It may sound that simple but the process is complicated. In this fast world where everything seems to be all instant, waiting is something that is not appreciated by many. I am even guilty of waiting for someone who came late in a agreed appointment, I hate the feeling of wasting time. Well, there are a lot of complexities of waiting, different circumstances and different reactions for we are all unique individuals. But at the end of the day it all boils down to the word patience. This year I am praying for more patience and the ability to look forward expectantly as expectant as the way I waited for this bud to open. As expectantly as the Lord reveals to me daily in His word in my life.

My day involves a lot of waiting.More often I would wake up in the wee hours of the morning, waiting for sleep to but when sleep seems impossible I just wait for the clock to strike 5:30 am. Hay signs of aging wahahaha. Ana jud basta magka tiguang na. Signs of aging. I want to age gracefully and just take it one step at a time. Cooking - wait for my favorite dish; you have to wait properly to be able to serve great tasting food than serving half cooked or food cooked with out love. It does happen sometimes; when I lose my patience in cooking I end up with half cooked food which may not be tasty. Since Noli (my God-given husband) and I do intermitent fasting I do cook breakfast but eat only during lunch time and no longer cook for lunch. Then, wait for the time again to cook for dinner. Then wait for my favorite My Special Tatay teleserye, then wait or dinner and wait to sleep and it goes on and on daily.

Gardening has taught me to wait and the daily routine of life.And with His word that I wait also for every day -revealing His unconditional love for me and has been patient with me despite of and inspite of my short comings, and failures. He corrects me gently and lovingly guides me to new areas of growth.

Huernia schneideriana

2019-01-31T13:36:00.002+08:00

huernia schneideriana

One of the rain or shine stinkies, not hard to care and

can be propagated through cuttings. Flowers will not mature

if this stinky lack either sunlight or water. If pkaced in

the best/desired location of the plant the flowers will be inlimited year round.

Enjoy planting!

Grafting journey 101

2019-01-28T22:53:00.002+08:00

Published by Hazel Funcion

Lilies of the Field Page

November 22, 2016

grafted moons by me

grafting is fun

Grafting is a new world for me; at first it was scary and then after it survived I wanted to graft more. These are my baby moons; its true, like life I experienced failures; in grafting moons; its not always a guarantee that its a good graft; but it does not mean that I will stop grafting; but I graft again and again to achieve the goal.in life we learn, unlearn and relearn; learning is a life long process.Even tried grafting Christmas cactus, lol, hope one day to see cute flowers from this.

The scion will not survive if its not properly connected to the root stock, like us if we are not connected to our Lord which is our root stock we will not survive, apart from Him we are nothing. So how do we connect to the root stock; we accept that we have sinned ask forgiveness and accept Him as Lord and savior. And let His word guide us daily in our lives. Joshua 1:8-9 says Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Happy grafting, hope we can apply what Sir Lino Rom taught us.

Three years ago post from my facebook page. Bringing back the first moons that I grafted just applying what our speaker sir Lino taught us. I love to apply things learned as soon as possible while the motivation and the fire is still there. Three years ago, how time flies. I may have exerted effort and energy grafting them but there was a very slim chance of survival. That's why moons are not that cheap, they dont grow big, they die young. Even until now, but through the three years of grafting moons I have learned a couple of things that has helped me improve higher survival rate. Tried dragon fruit as root stock, pereskiopsis, bue boy and chichipe.

First, the dragon fruit root stock is the most common since its not hard to find and its really cheap. You can ask from a neighborhood who grows dragon fruit or buy a couple of cuttings and then propagate it and use as root stock. The problem with dragon fruit is that its rots easily when over watered which could also kill the cactus. The second root stock that I have used is the pereskiopsis, the smallest yet most terrible among the four. Why? because the spines are so thin and its really painful.Though its best to use when you have very tiny like seedlings and tiny cactus pups. Its also strong and can hold the cactus as it grows. But aesthetically speaking, its not my favorite. It looks odd, because when the cactus that was grafting grows in size, it looks like a lolipop. Next, the blue boy, this is my favorite among the columnars since it looks pretty with its blue silverish color when its under full sun. So far, its the best root stock that I have ever used, since it does not rot easily, its not so complicated to handle because the spines are not so disturbing as the pereskiopsis or the chichipe. The last root stock that I have used is the chichipe, I ike it coz its bigger among the four and a great chance for the cactus to grow much bigger since its a good rootstock as well. The problem is that, the long shiny and sharp spines could really hurt if you are not careful. Careless as I am, I must admit that grafting using chichipe was a struggle.

grafted on dragon fruit 11/29/2016 ( Before)

March 3, 2017 After

grafted on pereskipsis

I thought I just used those four, and Im glad while skimming through group posts I saw this picture. wow!!!!!

grafted on opuntia

Made me realize. I have grafted using five different root stocks. wow. Isn't it amazing? Im just happy. and at the same time excited to revive my grafting journey. Hope it will bring me to exciting root stocks and also learn more about the art of grafting cactus.

See you on the next update!
God bless us all.

He breaks us, to make us.

2019-01-28T22:19:00.004+08:00

He breaks us to make us
Genesis 32:22-32

There's a good reason God calls his people sheep. Sometimes they act bad and wander away from the paths he has mapped out for them.

A good shepherd will relentlessly search for a wayward sheep. Sometimes; if the sheep refuses to follow his master; the shepherd takes a drastic action; he breaks the sheep's leg; and places it upon his shoulders and carried the sheep until it learns total dependence. Tough love - the shepherd breaks the sheep to make sure the sheep always follows the shepherd.

We may think that a God of love would never allow His children feel any pain. But sometimes God breaks us to make us better. He may break our hearts so we will make room for him there. He mat break our will so that we discover his will for us. He may break our physical strength so that we discover God's strength is made perfect in weakness ( 2 Cor 12:9). Like Jacob, the best response to God's tough love is to cling to him and earnestly pray, " I will not let you go unless you bless me."
If you've been acting like a bad sheep and have wandered off the path, climb up on the shepherd's shoulders and let him carry you home while healing.

euphorbia sp; dont know the ID of this euphorbia

I find this plant quite interesting with all the colorful cute spines around and truly of one my euphorbia favorite. Not only because its pretty reddish spots and grows in a twisted manner. I wish I was able to take a picture the matter one which was sold last bazaar. Full sun and easy to propagate through cuttings but you have to dry the cut stem for a couple of days until the wound has dried up and its good to plant in a fast draining soil mix to prevent rotting and over watering.

Huernia zebrina blooms

2019-01-25T11:59:00.000+08:00

Huernia zebrina blooms

Was not able to notice that she had been flowering the past days bcause it was placed where the side with flowers was away from sight. I was surprised to see the withered flowers. Soooooo happy; sorry plants I’ve been busy doing other things. These stinkies have been neglected. Will find time.

This huernia zebrina one of the stinky group which means the flowers of these stinkies emit foul odor, but not really that foul. Its tolerable unless you put your nose trills near the flower. So far, among the stinkies group, the Stapelia gigantea really is noticeable. You can't deny that it really stinks. Like a the smell of dead rat. They are not hard to care; just leave them under full sunlight and water every other day and surely the blooms will be unlimited.

Plant care:

Rain or shine.

Lack of water and sunlight may abort the bulbs.

Fast draining soil mix.

Propagation:

Stalks with roots

Talisay Garden Club Dragon Farm Tour

2019-01-24T07:40:00.000+08:00

flowering vandas

pretty pink flower

Talisay Garden club members

pretty Orchids at the Farm

The Dragon fruit Farm

Bus ride to Toledo

Sorry, this is a very late upload of our Garden Cub Tour last 2017 but its better late than never. A fun time shared with Talisay Garden Club enthusiasts and I happy to say Im the youngest in the group. My ates are all above 60 years and some on their 50s and I enjoy being the baby here. Every year we have a scheduled tour and this was my first time. I praise God for this group,a healthy group where is is no room for gossip and chika about people, its all about plants and I think thats a good example of a garden club.

The tour started out early in the morning and we arrived at Father Mier's dragon fruit farm with such welcome. With fresh fruits, kakanin of all sorts, fresh buko juice and dragon fruits and a lot more. We learned a lot about the dragon fruit which the most common and edible cactus available, how to propagate and the care for this very healthy fruit. We thank Fr. Mier and company for hosting and giving us the warmest accommodation and the yummy treats would like to come back for more visits.

To make it more memorable we visited a cactus and succulents garden and viola cactus and succulents shopping was the goal and excited and enthusiastic with their finds. It was unexpected and the surprise was such that the garden was almost stripped off the prettiest collections.

The final destination, since it was the birthday of Gerry's mom, a sumptuous lunch was served with litchon and fresh desserts. Culminating the tour with visit and purchase of ornamental plants from Gerry's garden. We left with the bus almost crowded with the loots we got. Looking forward for more garden tours in the coming years with my ates.

Sa matag Adlaw

2019-01-24T07:07:00.000+08:00

Kay Ikaw Man - Sa Matag Adlaw

by Jerome Suson

Verse

Sa matag adlaw gusto ko nga kauban ka

Sa matag lakaw sa tanang buhaton ko

Gusto ko nga kauban ka

Chorus

Kay ikaw man kanunay'ng gitinguha

Ning akong dughan, Ikaw man

Ang hangin nga giginhawa

Ikaw ang akong kusog

Ikaw ang akong gugma

Ikaw ang tanan

kay Ikaw man

When Im not feeling well I get emotional and sing songs that could help me get by and somehow help me feel better.

I have no right to get sick

2019-01-24T06:42:00.001+08:00

Im no kleenex endorser and pardon me for a messy bed side table

A simple cold can be so annoying and one day it will get so complicated coupled with head ache, running nose, teary eyes, sore throat and eventually cough with body aches. I wish I stopped the moment I sipped that too sweet iced pineapple lemon drink. I guess it was the culprit.Now, I'm here sneezing and with sniffing every now and then and so under the weather. I hate feeling sick. I dont have the right to get sick. So much to do with so little time. Wish I could just stay in bed and rest but have to wake up early and do all stuff expected of a wife. Its been days now and I self medicate, the cold relief after drinking the cold medicine was just for a couple of hours and I pray the 3 capsules turmeric three times a day and a lot of water would be enough to drive the cough away. Its hard to fake being well. Wish I could just be free to be sick wahhehehe.

Made me realize things today:

1. Stay away from sweet cold drinks. Effects are damaging and annoying.

2. Let your no be no. I mean, I hate the effects of sweet stuff, but never hated the sweets per se, I should stick with no to cold sweets, but cravings are simply irresistible.

3. Drinks lots of water. It's best to really be hydrated at all times, it could prevent the thirsty craving of something cold asap, but ended up sick.

4. A rest is not the end of the world.

5. Take it easy.
6. Claim

Jeremiah 30:17 —

“I will give you back your health and heal your wounds.”

Drimiopsis maculata variegata

2019-01-23T09:16:00.001+08:00

God’s will is done in God’s way and will never lack God’s supply. -Hudson Taylor-

One of my favorite variegated plants ( well I guess they are all my favorite, I may say one of my favorites but they all are special to me in their own special way) that I have propagated from one pot. Its a caudex former kind of plant and a water lover and just suits the partial sun exposure. Not so hard to care and not sensitive like the rosette forming succulents.

Considered as one of those plants which you can bring indoors but best placed in an area inside the house where there is still filtered sun so that we will be able to achieve the yellowish color or the variegation and should be watered at least every other day to maintain its beauty. When placed outdoors its advisable to place it in an area with morning sun only since too much exposure to extreme sunlight might caused damage to the soft sensitive leaves.

Zelmarq's baked sweet and sour meatballs

2019-01-21T08:29:00.000+08:00

baked sweet and sour meatbals

baked sweet and sour meatballs

Zelmarq's Sweet and sour meatballs Recipe

Meatballs

1/2 of ground pork

1 whole carrot

I whole red pepper (atsal)

1 tayobong

2 pcs eggs

3 cloves garlic

I whole white onion

salt and pepper to taste

Sauce
1 cup water
pine apple tidbits
1/4 carrots
3 coves onion
1 whole red onion
red / green bell pepper

1. First mince : carrot; onion; garlic and red bell pepper; its a tedious process but I used this gadget to make mincing easier. All you have to do is slice them partially and place inside the mincing gadget and pull the string until desired size is achieved.

Food Chopper

2. Mix all ingredients for the meatballs; its best to use your hand.
3. Add salt and pepper to taste.
4. Roll the meatball mixture into golf size balls then place in a baking pan and bake for 30 minutes @ 250 degrees.

Sauce
1. While baking saute the garlic and onion, pineapple tidbits then add the bell pepper.
2.Add a cup of water and simmer for a few minutes.
3. Add the 1/2 of ketshup and simmer until the sauce thickens.
4. Add the baked meatballs and simmer for a few minutes.
5. Season to taste.

Serve with hot rice and eat with a smile.
Enjoy!

See you on my next kitchen experiment.
Lovelots, Zelmarq.

Portulaca gilliesii addict

2019-01-18T05:45:00.001+08:00

Started with one pot and now I have propagated this all time favorite succulent. Not hard to care and one of the hardy succulents; lots of sun and water And you’ll get the happy red color with her pretty pink flowers.

A month of neglect

2019-01-16T09:06:00.002+08:00

Yay! So much to do so little time. Let’s get it on!

Finding time to remove the weeds before it chokes the plant.

Hmmmmm; need to remove the roots; I plan to bring batches of plants inside and do the unweeding while watching tv. ( Is there an unweeding word in the dictionary? wahahhhahaha I'not so good with words so pardon me for inventing words)I don't watch much tv but its better doing it inside the house; the heat might affect my unweeding battle. Getting my hands dirty is a kind if therapy; the feel of dirt and soil and the relief if pulling each weed that starts to choke the poor plants. The weeds sucked the life out of the poor cacti, they crowded the nutrient rich dirt, preventing the new robust cactus and succulents.

The process reminds me of the weeds in my heart.Worries, doubts, fears, hatred, resentment,insecurities and a lot more. Its choking my heart. And my own confidence and own strength would not suffice. I'm so human with all my frailties and need God to help me up root those weeds that slowly choked it.

The process. Pulling weeds from the garden of my heart.

Its uncomfortable.

Its painful.

But it's time to slowly let it go.

Time for new growth.

Time for new life.

Im back for good

2019-01-16T07:57:00.000+08:00

Its over a year ago since my last post.
Welcome back to me.
Lol
Why?
Why now that I have no work and well;if id like to be really be seriously blogging I can surely do it.
Its the Cns addiction or commonly knowm as cactus and succulents.
Its really what I do maybe 75% of my time daily and I plan to blog about them.
Which means that would mean improved blogging time.
Im just so glad, Im back on track.

My kind of therapy

2019-01-16T07:37:00.001+08:00

I never thought that its more than a year that I was able to blog. I did'nt even noticed that I was able to chronicle my renewed passion for cactus and succulents here in this blog. And its really something that I missed. Oh wow! What a waste; so sayang; I hope I still have my first purchased succulent and how it died a week after and how I traveled unfamiliar grounds just to buy my second chance cactus and succulents and how it felt after I did my first online line cactus and succulents order.

I wish I could turn back time; wahahahaha wishful thinking; but I hope I was able to document properly coz there's always a hundred percent chance that Id be able to post those again.

Well its time to hunt my facebook pictures and see if I had them there; I even created a facebook page so that I can post unlimited pictures and soon will be deleting it i a two weeks time because of careless and and it has caused me trouble.

At one point, I call this my kind of therapy and also my source of stress, wahahahaha but not much. I get stressed when I'm not at home and the plants make me worry a whole lot wahahaha.

I've been through mild depression when I came here to Cebu three years ago, gave up my 18 career at PLDT after our wedding, a new strange place with no friends, away from my comfort zone which is Cagayan de Oro. It was not easy. There were days I felt self pity with no job and just at home, I felt useless and with no regular earnings. I was an independent woman the bread winner of the family for since papa died and now. I felt the room was a prison cell for months. I was just sleeping all day long. I dont take a bath the way I used to when I was in the corporate world. I was always sad and lonely and alone and still adjusting the married life. I was unproductive during those first months in Cebu. I was away, I was in a battle with those giants I created on my own. I used to wake up so early in the morning mostly at dawn to do quiet time with the Lord but I was consumed by my own doing. But one day God spoke to me in Psalm 23:6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life. I was like the verse popped and woke me up from such uselessness and self pity,I was not giving God thanks for all the blessings He showered to me that time. But praise God for His unfailing love. He wants to use me for His glory.

I praise God for He has taught me to be thankful in all the blessings in life, counting my blessings and with a thankful heart.

Thank you ate Juby for helping through the help of cns. Its been a three year journey now and its a loving and growing relationship with new found friends and family.

Silent tears

2017-09-25T06:22:00.000+08:00

It looks lovely and cute to look at; But I went through a painful process grafting this asteria on this pereskiopsis. But it was a kind of pain that went away. As the days dragged i no longer felt the pain. There's a kind of pain that I have caused others and the guilt is a pain that is seven times more excruciating than the later. A pain that pierced the heart; a pain that lingers on; before you sleep and even when u wake; it hunts you. And tears fall; silent tears. The kind of pain that you just lift to the heavens and pray that soon it will go away.
Id rather be pricked by a cactus than cause some one to cry.

Life Begins @40, mine has started

2016-04-12T21:03:00.000+08:00

October was my last post!?

Im just glad Im back to posting again, and as expected since Im now jobless Id be expecting more posts from me on the coming days.

From October up to now so much has happened.

Things have changed. I never thought it could be that soon.

I just got married!

Yes, before I turned 40, I got married.

Resigned from work, moved to another place, the place where I call home, but then still Im far away from home. Still under adjustment period or maybe Id call it the start of the adjustment period for I know its going to be for a lifetime. Im used to have a hectic schedule and Im glad Im no longer working in a very toxic environment. But I miss working, for almost 20 years Ive been working and now Im wasting time sleeping and sleeping internet and just goofing around.

Wew! Married life.

Im used to sleeping alone, eating lunch alone, doing grocery alone and now somebody is snoring beside me at night. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night all because of husband's snore. :)

Im thankful, very thankful all the blessings and the change going my way.And I just celebrated my 40th birthday last Februray 15 with my husband and family here in Cebu. For 7 years we celebrated our first Valentine's Day together. Why?

Its a long distance relationship, It was the first valentine's dates and the first birthday with him. It was a birthday to remember. Im used to receiving birthday cards and valentines card and it was my first time that I had that very special day.

Life begins at 40, its a whole new beginning, a whole new chapter of my life.

God has always been there every step of the way, ups and downs, tears and laughter, and through it all Im not letting go, Lord Im holding on. Im holding on to you. In this marriage You Oh Lord is the center, You are the Center of our lives. Its tough, its hard, its lonely doing it alone in this far place from home but I know Lord You will always be there as long as I cling unto You forever. Your word in my heart and in all that I do.

Drawing closer and closer

2015-10-01T08:47:00.002+08:00

Its a beautiful rainy day. My heart is yearning for more, craving for more of you Oh Lord.
Its my desire, Oh Lord, to draw near to You. Moment by moment.
Drawing closer and closer, through Your word,
Through the Holy Spirit, for to will and to act is not mine but Yours.
A giddy feeling, i'm falling in love with You Oh Lord.
I love you Lord.
I love you, since You loved me first.
I dont want to seek You only when I'm down,
But i long to seek You all the days of my life.

Drawing closer and closer to you
From the moment I woke up, I pray that its you I seek,
not the message on my mobile phone nor the update on my face book nor the tweet on my twitter.
Drawing closer to you as I face my subscribers, as I serve them, Lord give me patience,
Let me hear their woes and not react,
Let me take time to listen than to hurry,
Let me give quality service than quantity.
And at times I fail give me a humble heart to accept correction.

As I draw closer and closer, Lord
Let me serve with joy,
I admit that many times I frown,
But im confident that As I draw closer, Id be more smiling and accommodating.

And before I lay my head to sleep,
let Your word shield me and my heart be filled with gratitude and love of Your
faithfulness and Your goodness.

Im inspired, im kilig much and Im back....

2015-09-30T09:52:00.001+08:00

Hello
Im back, the last blog update was June 9, almost months ago.
I just cant fight this feeling any more.Im too inspired. I have to blog this. I was never this gaga over a love team before until ALDUB you came. Lola Nidora's words of wisdom

I never tweeted this much dont know even how to tweet and now the Alduberkads taught me how and how I became from a tweeter then turned abangers, and team replay. I never stalked this much. Ive been stalking Meng and enjoyed reading her blog, but today to my surprise, was not able to read she already exceeded here bandwidth, for sure she's been very busy the past few days. Ive been been this kilig much by any love team until ALDub came. Always bring goose bumps and kilig factor, and made me feel how lovely it is to fall in love and be inlove.

In love with the LOrd should be my main agenda. I also realized, I hope I could be this excited in reading God's word, also stalking God, and being kilig with God. I should always be, it should always be more than the ALDUB kilig factor. For HE is a jealous GOd and expects utmost adoration from me in all that I do. Also a reminder for all of us as fans, always remember that our relationship with God is more important than anything else. And at the end of the its between God and me, my relationship with that matters most.

Waiting for Linsanity Version 2.0

2015-06-09T07:43:00.000+08:00

Im a lin fan. Im so linlove and Im bored. Why does time seems to drag in the basketball world.
There's still the asian tour and free agency and a lot more going on. Its still the finals season and its just boring without Lin in the limelight. Waited for linsanity 2.0 to happen but it didnt. Byron was a coach who made all he can to stop or prevent linsanity from happening in LA. He made a good job making it stressful for Lin and ending a very tiring season for Lin. Got to wait a little more longer, wait for the finals to finish and then free agency and I hope next season is for Lin, just for Lin. Im just one of the fans rooting for Lin and will be there to support him all the way. After the finals then free agency, I dream of a Lin-D Antoni reunion and a team that will let him play his type of game. Go Lin.

Hoping for Linsanity 2.0

Linsanity 2.0

How old do I look

2015-06-06T08:41:00.001+08:00

How apps can flatter us in special ways like looking younger

HAhahahaha

I just tries this app the How-old.net

And Guess what, I look 27 years old.

Of course I am flattered coz Im already 39 and its so flattering to know that

I look 27. So that would mean I look 12 years younger!

Wow. Sounds good for me.

How about you would you like to try for yourself?

Here's the link http://how-old.net/#results

Because Im Choleric, Its not an excuse

2015-06-03T09:56:00.003+08:00

If you are a customer like me and you look like this like me, surely the customers will feel scared. Maybe you would have second thoughts in approaching or giving your concerns. Hmmm I have received side comments about the way I look, stern face, heavy face, not smiling. Well, it hurts and its the truth and often time I retaliate, I rebel and i justify myself. Just like what happened this morning, the lady was looking for the sweet and kind customer beside me. And when she left, I heard them conversing with the guard and I accidentally heard the word "bug-at ug nawong" which means heavy face or stern face not friendly face. I got a little defensive about it. And realized that I should have a godly response to this kind of situation.

I know I should take it on the lighter side and use the criticism as positively as I can, for change for the better, for me to improve. My temperament is never an excuse for me to justify my short comings. I know its a personal matter but I should apply all that I have learned, and a question popped and I asked myself is Christlikeness reflected in my actions and how I deal with people? Have I become a blessing? I know I should reflect God's love and mercy to others. I got guilty about it, I know I should have been kinder and should have been its a challenge for me to improve. I have to smile because a customer service should be helpful, should be friendly and should be approachable with a light face not a heavy face.

How to look approachable:
1. Smile - though have tantrums I should serve with a smile.
2. Be patient - Im impatient and I know to be an effective servant I should listen and take time to wait for the subscribers, not hurry but have quality time with them.
3. Smile - I have to remind myself as constantly as I can coz I have the tendency to have that tiger look which could be scarry to look at.
4. Be accommodating - dont make subs feel they are not welcome
5. Smile
6. Pray
7. Begin the day with God's word.
8. Pray always.

Trust His Heart

2015-06-03T07:10:00.001+08:00

Trust His Heart

All things work for our good

Though sometimes we don't

See how they could

Struggles that break our hearts in two

Sometimes blind us to the truth

Our Father knows what's best for us

His ways are not our own

So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't
Remember your never alone

Chorus:

God is too wise to be mistaken

God is too good to be unkind

So when you don't understand

When don't see his plan

When you can't trace his hand

Trust His Heart

He sees the master plan

He holds the future in his hand,

So don't live as those who have no hope,

ALL our hope is found in him.

We see the present clearly

He sees the first and last

And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,

To someday be just like him

(Chorus)

He alone is faithful and true

He alone knows what is best for you

(Chorus)

When you can't trace his hand

When you don't see his plan

When you don't understand

Trust His Heart

My Song for the month, Introduced by our bible study leader. Its a song that touches the heart and comforts us. Its a song that I will be singing to remind myself of how I am loved by God. All His plans for me, all the hope that I can only find in Him. He knows whats best for me, even if at times I grope in the dark and His light is the only light I see, a glimmer of hope, as intricate as a tapestry He wove me and as complex as the the puzzle He has a arranged everything for me. Though at times I may not fully comprehend it, or at times I seem not to understand I just have to trust His heart. Not mine, not others but His.

Change for the better

2015-06-01T10:18:00.002+08:00

If a picture paints a thousand words......
I hope there could be a painting that could somehow describe what Im feeling right now. I feel hopeless, I feel annoyed, bitter and angry. But I have to look ok and pretend everything is awesome. I want to cry, but I wont. I refuse to. I dont want to. Then, if it would have been a painting, what would it look. It would look terrible to look at with those terrible emotions. Im a pych major graduate and I cant apply those theories to myself. Tsk tsk tsk

No matter how I try, no matter how I pray, things are just beyond me. Its beyond my control, no matter how much effort I exert on getting on my knees and beg God. Its all up to Him. But more often may be im just creating that impression on people, and I end up getting hurt and getting nasty side comments in the end. But, God is in control, I believe He will complete what He has started, the answers to my prayers may not be given today, it may not always be a yes, a no and wait. I know I will have to embrace that with a hopefull heart. He is a God who will always true to His promised, I will wait on Him, patiently. Change for the better. I hope I also change for the better, not just expect others to be so, but for that change to start in me.

Ways to cope such emotion:
1. Say all you want to say to that person.
2. Then, if that person answer, defend yourself.
3. If the person defends, then answer back.
4. If that person tell you to shut up, then shut up. Just blog.
5. Let it all out, blog it, express it.
6. Just pound the keyboard as hard as you can with words.
7. Take a deep breath.
8. Smile.
9. Pray.
10. Pray.
11. Memorize bible verses
12. Claim God's promises.
13. ACCEPT. You cant please yourself and you cant please everyone and everyone cant please you.