Jokes and Jokkers

Kentucy Maths

2010-07-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

Hi tec Sardar

2009-12-01T00:15:00.001-08:00

American, Japanese, and a Sardar were sitting in the sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm
and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "
That's my pager," he said, "I have a microchip under the skin of my
arm.

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his
ear. When he finished he explained, "That's my mobile phone. I have a
microchip in my hand. The Sardar felt low-tech and inferior. He didn't
know what to do to be as impressive as the American & the Japanese. He
decided to take a break in the toilet.

When he returned, he didn't realize that there was a piece of toilet
paper got stuck and hanging from his backside. The others raised their
eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" Instead of being embarrassed,
inspiration struck his mind. The Sardar explained, "I'm getting a
FAX"........ ..

The other two fainted..... !!

Fantastic resignation letter

2009-10-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-

================================

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate my insight and "big heart".

I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company (since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is situated in another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always with me. Last but not the least. I also have the Rs 12000 entrusted to me by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for the new company. Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,

S. W. Engineer

At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:

PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our Office to discuss this.

My respect and Best Regards to you!

My name is....

2008-07-02T22:24:00.001-07:00

A man boards a flight from Delhi to Mumbai and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a gorgeous woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she's heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right next to his.

Eager to strike up a conversation, he asks 'Business trip or vacation?' She turns, smiles, and says, 'Business. I'm going to the annual Sexologists Convention.'

He swallows hard. Here is the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen, sitting next to him, and she's a sexologist! Struggling to contain his excitement and maintain his composure, he calmly asks, 'What's your business role at this convention?' 'Lecturer,' she says, 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.' 'Really?' he says, swallowing hard. 'What m-m-m-myths are those?' 'Well,' she explains, 'one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed when, in fact, it's the Tamilian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, whereas actually it is the Bengali. However, we have found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Sardar's.'

Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. 'I'm sorry,' she says, 'I shouldn't be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name!'

' Venkatraman !' the man blurts out. ' Venkatraman Mukherjee ! But all my friends call me Joginder Singh !'*

A letter to the principal

2008-04-30T01:47:00.000-07:00

A college professer was transferred from Bihar to Mumbai.But it took a week for him to join. Check what he wrote to the principal..

Dear Sur,

This is my first vijit to Bombai. If small small mistakes get inside my letter I pardon. Stictly speaking, I want to join the college more fastly but for the following reason, too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three tyre compartment. Lady clerk rejected my request. Later I pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave birth only to my son. I thanked the station master he gave birth to my wife. I hope you will see my hole story and later me first time I am now ending this fastly.

May god blast you.
yours.

Modern Panchtantra Story [ IT HUMOR ]

2008-03-21T03:55:00.000-07:00

Hey folks i am sharing a story received from a friend of mine!

Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.

One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe ),

He started praying to the River Goddess. The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river.

As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, " Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, " No."

She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his.

Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!"

Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.

The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said " Yes."

The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give

Him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer

Asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?"

The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid donkey! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM !". So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!

********
Moral :If you're not up-to-date with technology trends , it's better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Old Story but New Climax

2008-03-18T04:45:00.001-07:00

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending. I trust you will like it.

A haryanavi jaat hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.

He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The jaat sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.

While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.

He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grand father's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.

Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said
........................

Guess What????????
.............................

"You think only you have a grandfather?"

Don't copy if you can't paste!

2008-03-02T22:22:00.001-08:00

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience.
Said he: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The audience was in silence and shock.
The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!"
Laughter and applause.

A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home. He was a bit foggy after a drink.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"
The wife went mad with shock and rage.
Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste!

Job Application

2008-03-01T04:54:00.000-08:00

An application letter by a job seeking candidate

Euro English

2008-02-25T23:37:00.001-08:00

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas kol me ok?

Government in Childs Mind

2008-02-12T04:08:00.001-08:00

Politics as what this child understands.

This about sums it up!!!
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What are Politics?" Dad says,
"Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

#1. I'm the head of the family, so call me The President.
#2. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
#3. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People.
#4. The maid, well we'll consider her the Working Class.
#5. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Okay.?

"Now, go on and think about that and see if it makes sense."
So, the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check
on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So, the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound
asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the maid's room. Finding the
door locked, he looks in the peephole and finds his father in bed, with
the maid. So, he gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his Father, "Dad, I think I
understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think
politics is all about."

The little boy replies: "Well, the President is screwing the Working Class
while the Government is sound asleep, and the People are being ignored
while the Future is in deep shit."

The Success of Marriage

2008-02-05T03:05:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time a married couple celebrated their 25 th marriage anniversary. They had become famous in the city for not having a single conflict in their period of 25 years. Local newspaper editors had gathered at the occasion to find out the secret of their well known 'happy going marriage'.
Editor: ' Sir. It's amazingly unbelievable. How did you make this possible? '

Husband recalling his old honeymoon days said: ' We had been to Shimla for honeymoon after marriage. Having selected the horse riding finally, we both started the ride on different horses. My horse was pretty okay but the horse on which my wife was riding seemed to be a crazy one.
On the way ahead, that horse jumped suddenly, making my wife topple over. Recovering her position from the ground, she patted the horse's back and said 'This is your first time'. She again climbed the horse and continued with the ride. After a while, it happened again. This time she again kept calm and said 'This is your second time' and continued. When the horse dropped her third time, she silently took out the revolver from the purse and shot the horse dead !!
I shouted at my wife: 'What did you do you psycho. You killed the poor animal. Are you crazy?' ..

She gave a silent look and said: 'This is your first time!!!'.'

Husband: 'That's it. We are happy ever after. '

How men get into trouble !!!

2008-01-31T23:41:00.001-08:00

How men get into trouble !!!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, " Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe? " the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe.

"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

**Now The Ultimate One****

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

"Is this your wife? " the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord.. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez , You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.

Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez ."

Insurance Claim Rejected!

2008-01-28T04:21:00.001-08:00

He was a Good Man....

Never smoked,
never drank,
never bullied,
never bunked school/college/office,
never partied,
never lied,
never took what was not his,
never gossiped,
never procrastinated,
never flirted,
never had an affair.

But when he died,......

The Insurance Company refused the Claim.

They said.......

"He who never Lived,
can never Die" !!!!!

Management & engineers

2008-01-18T05:00:00.001-08:00

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below.

She descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist. "I am", replied the man.

"How did you know?"

"Well, answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more."

The man below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going.You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems?!!"

BOTTOM LINE: just imagine the management guys who are basically engineers... No wonder!!!!!

LATEST ICC RULES

2008-01-08T02:42:00.000-08:00

(1)    Ricky Ponting – (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA AND
WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the FOURTH
UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final and will over
ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD umpires can seek
the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on the field. This rule
is to be made, so that every team should understand the importance of the
FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2)    While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close
to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance), the batsman is to be
considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or
grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from the
FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played with
SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3)    While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD UMPIRE
decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the ball might
not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to be out FOUR TIMES
(minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In case of THE CRICKETER
WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4)    UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player scores
a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be paid huge
bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team and board.

(5)    All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all
players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as they
will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments made in
any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6)    MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM
advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be
considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if this
rule is implemented.

(7)    NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA. This is to ensure
that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8)    THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE: If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE
UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than twice
in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This is to
ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break records and
create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will clarify better to the all teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.

Biggest hug....

2007-12-13T22:15:00.001-08:00

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have
ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing.

Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the
beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to
live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our
Rs 5 lakh cheque to ICICI Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we
pay for our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheque for the auto
loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that too, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gave her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls
away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
....

...

...

...

…

…

…

Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!"

INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

2007-12-12T05:18:00.000-08:00

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round..... Be careful while you answering, No one will GET second chance to impress....

Very very Impressive Questions and Answers..... ...

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet)
Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet)

Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavathaar.

So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. .........

This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

"THINK OUTSIDE OF THE BOX"

FUNNY LINES

2007-12-12T04:55:00.001-08:00

Girlfriend: Are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?

Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in
this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!

Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.

Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?

Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can
keep it.

Husband & Wife driving on a high way come across pigs on the road
Husband : your relatives
Wife: yaa my inlaws…

Speak Singlish and Manglish

2007-11-09T02:38:00.000-08:00

To those who speak Singlish and Manglish.
This is hilarious... even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numbers!

Exclusively. .. only to those great Malaysians and Singaporeans. .......

Ah Beng was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6, 7,8,9 and 10 . Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with...

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I felt 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away. So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6 . He said 5 , tomorrow also no need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don't understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1 .

Sardar-HA HA HA!!!!!!!

2007-11-09T02:13:00.001-08:00

Boss: Where were you born?
sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part?
sardar : Kya which part? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why you are removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheelers.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10 /- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile?

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see
any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it....

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thank God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child.

Secret love letter

2007-11-09T01:43:00.003-08:00

This is a love letter from a boy to a girl. However the girl's
father does not like him and want to stop their relationship. So
the boy wrote the letter to the girl. He knows that the girl's
father will definitely read this letter.

"The great love that I have for you
is gone and I find my dislike for you
grows everyday. When I see you,
I do not even like your face;
the one thing that I want to do is to
look at other girls. I never wanted to
marry you. Our last conversation
was very boring and has not
made me look forward to seeing you again.
You only think of yourself.
If we were married, I know I would find
life very difficult and I would have no
pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
to give, but it is not something that
I want to give to you. No one is more
foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
able to care for me and help me.
I sincerely want you to understand that
I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
if you think this is the end. Do not try
to answer this. Your letters are full of
things that do not interest me. You have no
true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
I do not care for you. Please do not think that
I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! But before handing over the letter to his sweetheart,
the guy called the girl to read only the ODD no. lines i.e.
1,3,5,7,......,25.
So go through it again and you will find its smart and sweet.
With Love

Check before you Act

2007-11-09T01:39:00.001-08:00

A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.

Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the Living Room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow Droppings onto the carpet.

"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful Vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this s**t!" exclaimed the eager salesman.

"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.

The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"

"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady

MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and Committing To the client...!!!

Desperate students during math exams

2007-11-09T01:32:00.001-08:00

Hosur Road - Bangalore Electronic City

2007-11-09T01:27:00.001-08:00