Inspire Yourself

Getting a Ticket

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 02:34:00 +0000

I got this email and wanted to share it with all of you.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Yesterday I drove three friends down to Baltimore for my roommates wedding and we drove back up to Jersey after the wedding. Six hours of driving, five hours of dancing and eleven hours of being with the same three people. B"H we got there and back safely, even in the crazy rain.

The ride felt like forever because I had to be extra careful not to speed. Usually I'll speed a little, just a little, but on this road, there were so many police pulling people over that it just wasn't worth the few minutes I'd save driving fast.

Every time I saw someone pulled over (as an aside, if you see someone pulled over, don't look at them, they are embarrassed as it is), my heart sped up, my stomach dropped, and my grip on the wheel tightened.

With every car pulled over, I glanced at my speedometer and slowed down. Although I wasn't the one being pulled over, by other people being pulled over, I was reminded that I too should make sure I'm not speeding.

No one has a perfect life.

Everyone has tzaros in some form of another. How many times do you hear a story of something that happened to someone, get an email or text telling you to say tehillm for someone, and your heart speeds up, your stomach drops, and you go on with your life?

When things happen to others-whether they are Jewish or not, they are meant as a lesson to you too.

Before Hashem does anything, He takes into account who will hear about it and who will be affected. If it reached your ears, it was meant for you too. If you see someone being "pulled over", if you see someone going through something or "getting a ticket", it's meant for you.

It's meant for you to look at your own life speedometer and to slow down. When bad things happen to others, look at yourself, look at what Hashem could be telling YOU.

Journey

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:30:00 +0000

Thank you R.P. for emailing this to me.

To My Dearest Child,

We have to part for now, for you are about to embark on a most special journey. I’m sending you on this trip so that you can strengthen yourself, and reaffirm your devotion to me. Here is the starting point and there is the end where I’ll be waiting to reunite with you. You’ll be given a suitcase with everything you will need for the trip. Make sure to take stock of your tools and utilize them to help make your trip most effective.

The road you take will swerve with frequent ups and downs and plenty of obstacles that will stand in your way. As soon as you overcome an obstacle you will find yourself closer to me than ever before.

Don’t forget to study the map I gave you for it is the most valuable possession on this trip. I will guide you with each turn you take, and will indicate when you should stop and ask for directions. The billboards along the way will try to entice you to veer from the path. Don’t be deceived! Keep your eyes focused on the map & follow it religiously. Share it with others who might be lost or searching.

There will be small pleasures along the road to enhance your trip. Stop to eat, to rest, & enjoy. But beware. These pleasures are just means to help you efficiently reach your goal. Don’t get caught up in their web, because you’ll have a hard time getting back on track. Be careful not to fill up your bags with things you don’t need because any garbage you collect will tie you down and make it harder for you to reach me.

You will make friends along the way. Cherish them, give to them, and hold their hands as you travel towards me. There will be times that you might feel lonely, but don’t be frightened. I’m watching you closely, & I’m eagerly waiting for you at the end. I am available at all times should you feel the need to speak with me. I can hear your every word, even the slightest whisper.

There will be many things you see & experience along the way that you will not understand. Just remember that you only see what’s right before your eyes. I have the view from above, where I see it all. I personally have tailored the journey just for you, with every detail designed to ensure a successful trip.

Your days on this trip are short in numbers but great in potential. Use each one to it’s fullest, traveling towards me at all times.

And remember-this is no ordinary journey, this is the journey of your lifetime.

From,
Your Loving Father

This message is sooo beautiful ot help us understand how to build the best relationship with hashem esp. what to feel when hashem doesnt answer you the way you want!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chaya Sara) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:26:00 +0000

Rosh Chodesh Shevat

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:45:00 +0000

I posted this last year and wanted to share it with you once again.

Today is Rosh Chodesh Shevat - the first day of the month. There is a lot to learn from the fact that every month we celebrate Rosh Chodesh. It is a message to all of us that there is always a chance for renewal. No matter what happened last month, this month is starting anew and you can start again.

The phases of the moon give us this message. The moon starts out very small and then gets bigger and bigger towards the middle of the month and then it gets small again. This is the story of the Jewish People. We started out small, then at some points in our history we got bigger, expanded, were successful and then again we got small. We experienced pain, persecution, embarrassment as a Nation but there was always a chance for us to shine. No matter how many times we were hurt in our history, we were never and will never be fully annihilated. Just like the moon, which at times is so small you can barely see it, but yet it's always there and will always shine, the Jewish Nation will always survive, even if it seems like they are almost extinct. Hashem promised us that we will endure forever.

And each person can take this message to heart - just like the moon expands and grows, even when it seems like it's so tiny and has no chance, every person has a chance to grow and change, even if it seems like there is no hope.

This month specifically, the month of Shevat has special significance to a person's growth. It is the month that is Rosh Hashana L'ilanos - the Rosh Hashana for the trees. It is the month where Hashem decides how the trees will grow and blossom. Some people have a custom to daven for a good esrog (for the following Succos)now for this reason.

Ki Ha'adam Eitz Hasadeh - a person is compared to a tree. There are many explanations for this comparison. One way to explain it is that just like a tree needs water to thrive and grow, a person needs Torah, which is compared to water, to be able to grow spiritually.

Torah is compared to water for a few reasons. Firstly, just as water is cleansing, the words of the Torah are purifying. Also, water is something anybody can drink and appreciate. It's not like wine where you have a certain status or class and that is how you can come to really enjoy that drink. It's the same with Torah - anybody can learn it and a person should never think, "I'm too little to learn this." A person should never be embarrassed to learn from someone else. Everybody has what to learn and share when it comes to Torah!

Just like water quenches the thirst of a person and leaves them feeling refreshed and energized, when one learns Torah or hears an inspiring thought, they feel like their thirst has been quenched! They feel refreshed, they feel energized! Torah has the power to give a person a new and exciting feeling about whatever they have just heard!

Torah is our lifeline - without it we would not be able to survive. It is the Torah that has kept us alive throughout the generations. By holding on strong to the Torah and keeping the mitzvos, we were able to continue to exist no matter what we went through.

Logically and statistically, it doesn't make sense that the Jewish Nation is still around. So many people have tried to destroy us yet they were never successful. How can that be? It is because Hashem promised to us that He will never let us be totally wiped out. And since we held on strong to the Torah and mitzvos even in the hardest times, we are still around to tell our story.

There's a famous quote from Mark Twain about the Jews and he questions: what is their secret?!

The Torah is our secret!

A gutten chodesh! May this month be one of spiritual growth and may you appreciate the Torah as the greatest gift Hashem has given us!

The Right Thing

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:47:00 +0000

In life, most of us want to do the right thing.

Sometimes it's very clear. It's obvious. You look at a situation and you know what you are supposed to do.

Other times, it's not that clear at all. You need to turn it over in your head, you may need to speak to some people (but not too many people, because that can end up confusing you) and figure out what that right thing to do in that situation is.

Sometimes it's easy to do it. It doesn't take much on your part and you can make the decision and follow through.

Other times, it's very, very hard to do the right thing. Even once you came to the conclusion that this is what you should be doing and you KNOW it's the right thing for you, actually doing it takes a lot on your part.

It's when you are dealing not just with logic, with what you know in your head is right, but when you're dealing with your emotions-that's when it gets hard.

When your heart is torn in two places at once and one part of you says one thing and the other part says something else, that's where the conflict lies. When your emotions are involved, it gets hard.

But if you know that you are making the right decision and what you are doing is what is right and good, you will be able to do it even if it's hard. No matter how hard it is.

What does it mean to be ma'aveer al hamiddos? When you are in a situation where your heart tells you to do one thing but your brain and your head tells you to do something else, when you have to look past the hurt that you've been through and do what is right even if it's hard and even if it's painful for you...that is being ma'aveer al hamiddos.

When someone hurt you and you don't hurt back.

When you go to the next level and do what is right even if it's hard.

When you are done and you look back you can say, I did the right thing.

Keep those two words in your head when you are making a decision like this.

Is it the right thing?

Yes, I may be right and I could do xyz but who will be hurt if I do that? Do I really want to hurt someone else?

We are put into this world to perfect ourselves. The mitzvos bein adam l'chaveiro aren't always easy. When you do something because it is what you should be doing, even though it is hard for you, you are perfecting your character and becoming a better person.

It may be hard but it will be worth it.

When you look back and see what you gained from doing what was right, you'll be glad you did it...no matter how hard it was.

Little Tiger

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 02:18:00 +0000

I sometimes wonder if little kids books are really meant to give important lessons to the adults who are reading them to their children.

Tonight, I read Read to Tiger to my son. It's a cute little story about a boy who is trying to read a book and the tiger behind the couch keeps doing things to get his attention. He dresses up like a bear and says "roar", he blows a whistle while he plays with the boy's toy train and each time the boy yells at the tiger to please keep quiet and the tiger listens meekly and will try to behave. This keeps happening until the tiger takes a peek at the book and sees a picture of another tiger, gets excited and asks the boy if he can read the book too. So together, they snuggle up on the couch and finally everyone is happy. The boy can read in peace and quiet and the tiger is being entertained with something that keeps him interested.

This gave me a lot to think about. How many kids and teens are just like this little tiger? Searching for attention. Needing to be noticed. Craving a hug. Waiting for someone to listen. But the people who matter to them, the people who they are looking towards for just a few minutes of their time are too busy trying to read their book without any distractions...and it gets too noisy and they yell...can't you just keep quiet and keep to yourself instead of getting in the way?!

When a kid starts acting out, making any kind of noise, it's happening for a reason. The kid is trying to get you to notice them and take interest in them and see what it is they need so badly.

The kid wants you to "snuggle up on a couch" with them and read a book together. They want your time, your attention, your love and they want you to listen to them.

Teens who are acting out are doing it for a reason. They need something. They need someone to listen to them. Girls in high school have a lot of questions. They can get the answers if they are listened to by someone who cares. But if they are laughed at and ignored or worse-put down, they can start going down, downhill...

This is an important tool in chinuch with even the youngest children. When my son starts throwing toys (What? He does that? YES!), he does it for either of two reasons. Either he is so tired that it's the only thing he could do at the moment-throw anything and everything in sight. Or he wants attention. He wants me to stop making supper, cleaning up, texting (ahem) and sit with him on the floor and play with some toys or sit on the couch (way more comfortable :) ) and read a book together.

We all have that little tiger inside us-a part of us that craves love and attention. There are both positive and negative ways to get it. Not all people want to take the time to figure out and work through the positive ways of getting proper recognition. Sometimes it's easier to misbehave, to act out, so other people will notice them. But then they may get pushed away, further and further...They get noticed for a minute but are not wanted around. And so they'll try again...until they realize that just like in the story, when people come together and recognize each other for what they can contribute together as a team, they'll feel loved, they'll get the positive attention they need and they will feel happy.

Respecting Jewish Women

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 22:28:00 +0000

Thank you Talia Weisberg, creator of Bleep! for emailing this to me.

I recently heard Rabbi Yechiel Spero, a teacher at Baltimore’s Talmudic Academy and author of the popular ArtScroll series Touched by a Story, speak. I was indeed touched by the following story that he shared.

According to her children, Rebbetzin Kanievsky zt”l only got upset two times in her life. One of the times was when someone arranged for her to speak with a group of girls. These girls were very modern, and they were not dressed according to the rules of tznius. She was happy to speak with them anyway, and they met her at the shul where she davened three times a day, every day, outside of her home.

A man walked by and he saw the girls. Horrified at their mode of dress, he started yelling at them, “How dare you come into our neighborhood dressed like that! Shame on you for talking to the rebbetzin dressed like that!”

Rebbetzin Kanievsky started crying, extremely upset, and shouted at the man, “How dare you talk to them like that! You’re being mevazeh a bas Yisrael!” She ran upstairs to her husband, Rabbi Kanievsky, who she never disturbed. She cried and just kept saying, “He was mevazeh a bas Yisrael, he was mevazeh a bas Yisrael!”

I think this story adequately shows that the kavod (respect) of a Jewish woman should not ever be compromised. Whether she’s wearing a burqa or bikini, if she has a Jewish soul, she deserves the same respect. If someone on the level of Rebbetzin Kanievsky had no problem speaking to women not dressed according to tznius, then what right do the rest of us have to judge?

Another message I took from this story is this: you can see when someone is a truly great person by what makes them upset. This is what Reb. Kanievsky got angry about! It bothered her when the girls were not treated with respect. It gives you something to think about-what upsets you? What makes you really angry?

Rose Among Thorns

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 01:25:00 +0000

The following speech was given this past week on a shabbaton (not by me :-) ) and I wanted to share the message with you.

Good Shabbos everyone! It is wonderful to be here together tonight. Still, we are missing something valuable by being away from home. Many of our parents give us brachos every Friday night. Our fathers come home from shul, and in that moment of kedusha, they bench us. What bracha do our parents give us? Girls are benched to be like Sarah, Rivka, Rochel and Leah. Our brothers are benched with a posuk from this week’s parsha, Yesimcha Elokim k’Ephraim v’ch’Menashe.

If we bench girls to be like our Imahos, why don’t we bench boys to be like our Avos? Why do we bench them to be like Ephriam and Menashe?

Someone once told me a story that supposedly happened with the Shpoler Zaide. The Shpoler Zaide had a chossid who made his living working in a tavern. All day he served wine, beer, and schnapps to local goyim. The atmosphere in the tavern was far from ideal for a frum Jew. The chossid felt he had to struggle to keep up his standards of ruchniyus, davening, and limud hatorah. He decided to go his rebbe for guidance.

The chossid cried to his rebbe, "Every day I deal with drunks and low-class people behaving almost not like humans. I constantly need to fight against the negative influence of the environment. I wish I could change my job so I would be surrounded only by erliche, emes’e chassidim, good Jews. Then I could be a real yirai shomayim, a true eved Hashem.”

The Shpoler Zaide answered him compassionately. “You wish you had enough money so you could stop working in the tavern among the goyim. You would sit and learn all day in a beautiful Bais Medrash full of people learning and davening with geshmak. Then you will be able to serve Hashem the way you should. You feel you can't be a real eved Hashem in the environment you are in now.

"The truth is, the opposite it true. Hashem already has thousands of servants who are in a great environment and have no challenges. He has a whole shomayim full of malachim with no yetzer harah. Every malach only wants to do Hashem’s will with his whole being. If Hashem wanted more of those servants, He would have made you a malach.

“But Hashem wanted something different – something better from you. Hashem wanted a servant who is willing to struggle to serve him. Hashem put you in this place of tuma right now so you would long to be close to Him. You look forward the whole day to those few holy words you can utter before your Creator. The longing, yearning, and purity you struggle to create in your tavern full of drunks is more precious to Hashem than the service of malachim up in shamayim.”

The Shpoler Zaide taught this precious Yid: HKB”H is not looking for a flower among flowers. He wants the rose among thorns. Hashem wants to praise us, “kishoshano bein hachochim, keyn rayosi beyn habanos.”

Why is serving Hashem through struggle, being a rose surrounded by thorns, so valuable? The gemara teaches, “tov echad b’tzar mi’meah shelo bitzar, one mitzvah you struggle to do is better than 100 mitzvos without a struggle”. Rav Dessler z”l asked, how much pain does it take for the mitzvah to be 100 times more valuable? The gemara says the smallest significant measure of suffering is putting your hand into your pocket to take out three coins and only coming up with two. If doing the mitzvah takes a little extra effort, as much as putting your hand into your pocket twice instead of once, your mitzvah is worth 100 times as much. And what if your struggle is twice as hard, if it is like needing to stick your hands into your pocket three times? Your mitzvah is worth 100 times 100, ten thousand. And if your struggle is as hard as reaching into your pocket one MORE time? Your mitzvah is worth 100 times 100 times 100 – one million times as much!

You can see why Hashem wants His flowers to be beautiful roses among thorns. A Shoshana beyn hachochim is infinitely more precious to Him!

Now we can understand why Am Yisroel chooses to give our children the bracha Yesimcha Elokim k’Ephraim ve’chi’Menashe. The Yalkut Yehuda explains: Ephraim and Menashe were the first Jews born and raised in galus, in a secular environment. They were surrounded by Mitzrayim who descended from cursed Chom, a low nation full of avodah zarah and znus. Besides their parents, they had no yidden to serve as role models and give them chizzuk. In that atmosphere, Ephraim and Menashe grew to be as great as the Shvotim, and Yaakov Avinu chose them to be Shivtey Koh alongside his own children. Ephraim and Menashe are the models of Shoshana beyn hachochim, being beautiful roses among thorns. And that’s why we bench our sons to be like Ephraim and Menashe.

Every precious and beautiful Shoshana in this room has her own thorns – her own “tavern”. We have our challenges – our personal struggles and weaknesses. And those struggles are what make us special, valuable, and beautiful. May we be zocheh that HKB”H should say about us, “kishoshano bein hachochim, keyn rayosi beyn habanos.”

Good Shabbos!

This next video frm Charlie is showing us that Hashem is real:)!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chaya Sara) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 23:46:00 +0000

Vezakeini

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 02:31:00 +0000

I posted this once before and wanted to share it with you again...

This is the hope of every Jewish mother - to have good children. Every Friday night, she lights candles, covers her eyes and davens for her children, the future of Klal Yisroel.

This beautiful and touching video highlights the different stages in a child's life. This is what every mother davens for - that her children should live a happy and fulfilling life.

וְזַכֵּנִי לְגַדֵּל בָּנִים וּבְנֵי בָנִים חֲכָמִים וּנְבוֹנִים, אוֹהֲבֵי ה', יִרְאֵי אֶלֺקִים, אַנְשֵׁי אֱמֶת, זֶרַע קֺדֶשׁ, בַּה' דּבֵקִים ,וּמְאִירִים אֶת הָעוֹלָם בַּתּוֹרָה וּבְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים, וּבְכָל מְלֶאכֶת עֲבוֹדַת הַבּוֹרֵא

Just a thought - every erev shabbos, your mother davens for you to be the best child possible. She wants only good things to come from you and wishes all the brachos in the world to be showered upon you. So the next time you are about doing something you shouldn't, reading or watching something that really isn't good for your neshama, stop for a moment and think about your mother's tefillos. Think about her hopes and dreams for you. Is this something she would want you to be doing? watching? reading? seeing?

Every parent wants their child to be good. What does good mean? This song tells us what is truly important - they should be smart, they should love and fear Hashem, be honest, holy, connect to Hashem (devek is the hebrew word for glue), and they should light up the world with Torah, good deeds and mitzvos.

THIS is what is important in life. Not looks, not money - but actions and middos! When children use the talents they were given to help others, that is what each parent davens for!

Think - are you acting in a way that is a fulfillment of your mother's tefillos for you?!

Daven for your (future) children - every tefillah counts!

We will now be focusing on 6 constant mitzvos that are the building blocks to our love and absolute belief in Hashem!! There will be 5 other videos of charlie harary inspiring us to live our lives in the best way:) stay tuned!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chaya Sara) — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 05:34:00 +0000

The Seventh Day of Chanukah

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 17:36:00 +0000

There’s a famous question that’s asked about Chanukah.

Why is Chanuka eight days when the miracle only lasted for seven days since there was enough oil to last for one day?

There are many, many answers to this question. I just want to share one of them with you.

There was once someone who didn’t have enough money to buy oil so they used vinegar instead and said, "The same One who commanded oil to burn can make vinegar burn." And…it did burn! We learn from this that the very fact that oil burns is a miracle too and is a reason to celebrate another day of Chanukah.

The natural events in our lives are really miracles and we should realize that just because something is “normal” doesn’t mean it will be that way and when things go right and are they way they are supposed to be, we should thank Hashem!

Today, the seventh day of Chanukah, is a special day for our family-it’s Chaya Gitty’s 1st (Hebrew) birthday. It’s a day to reflect upon this past year and realize that all the things that seem so normal and regular for a baby’s development are really miraculous. There’s no real reason why a baby should smile at the right time, roll over when the books say she should, crawl, coo, and start to talk (and almost walk!) before their first birthday. Who says this is normal? Who says this is the way it’s supposed to be? Why is this the way things go? It really is more than just regular to see a little baby begin to develop into a real person!

It’s a day for me to realize that all the little things that go right, all her milestones at the right times are reasons to be thankful.

She’s had her fair share of doctor visits (okay, maybe we’ve been there too many times than I would have liked) but baruch Hashem they were for regular things-ear infections, viruses and well visits. But she is healthy. We don’t spend our time worrying and running from doctor to doctor…She’s talking more than her brother did at a year, saying mommy, tatty, baby, cracker, all done, bye-bye, she waves her hand, she says moo and baa (!!) and she tries to imitate things we say to her. She is a normal, regular, healthy baby but really…who defines normal? Who says this is the way things should be? When things go the way they should and everything is smooth, it is a time to stop and thank Hashem for the regular things.

And we learn this lesson from Chanukah. The first day that the oil burned was just as miraculous as the next seven days. And that is why Chanukah lasts for eight days instead of seven. To remind us that the things that seem so normal and regular are really reasons to celebrate and be thankful.

So spend some time today thinking about the things in your life that are not out of the ordinary. That are the way they should be. Thank Hashem for the regular, the normal, the routine…because they really are reasons to be grateful.

Bayamim haheim bazman hazeh. Yes. Small hidden miracles happen every day and we should look out for, notice and appreciate them!

Happy Chanukah! And happy birthday CG!

Anyone else have any reasons to share for the famous question of why Chanukah is eight days instead of seven? You can comment, submit it anonymously on the right sidebar or send me an email. If I get enough answers, maybe I’ll post it and share it with all you readers :-).

At the Chanukah Candles

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 01:47:00 +0000

This was posted last year and I mentioned in the comments that I'd post it again this year.

The following question was submitted anonymously using the form on the right.

I know its kind of late to ask being that Chanukah is almost over but I was wondering, what are we supposed to be thinking when the candles are being lit? And even after when you just look at the lights? Also is this a special time to ask to things and is there anything specific we should ask for then?

It's still not to late to get an answer to your question since there's still another night left to Chanukah. I don't know if there's a source for this but I have heard that when the menorah is lit, it is a very special time to daven for anything.

I also heard that one should look into the flames and let the light of the menorah penetrate your soul. Just by looking at the flickering Chanukah lights, you can affect your neshama. You should just let yourself look...stare...at the flames. It can really impact you very strongly. It helps you get rid of the negative effects of things that you should not have looked at but saw. We live in a world where it is so easy to see the wrong things. Even without trying, just by walking down the street or turning your head the wrong way, images get thrown into your face and then they stay there forever.

So when you look into the flames and you watch the fire dancing, let it talk to your neshama - it can help get rid of the tumah, the impurity, that may have penetrated your soul when you saw things you should not have seen.

When you stand in front of the menorah, take a few minutes to daven. Daven for those people who have never seen the beauty behind the Chanukah candles, daven for the people you know who are waiting for yeshuos, who need a miracle to save them. Daven for those who are stuck in the dark and need Hashem to light up their lives with bracha.

It's a special moment that passes by so fast. The menorah is lit, the family gets busy with supper, cleaning or whatever it is. Some people have a custom to stay by the candles for 30 minutes and say certain tefillos-prayers and specific perakim of tehillim. Whether or not this is your custom, you can definitely take the time to remain by the candles for a little bit of extra time so you can daven for something you are waiting for.

Think about the two brachos that are said when the menorah is lit. The first one is that we were commanded to light the menorah and in the second one we thank Hashem for performing miracles bayamim haheim, bazman hazeh, in those days and in our days. Think about the miracles, big and small, that you were lucky to experience in your life. And think about the miracles you wish and hope for...and beg Hashem to make them come true!

May your tefillos at the candles be accepted and may you be able to purify your soul by looking deep into those flames...and may your neshama always feel like a fire - excited and enthusiastic and ready to do all the mitzvos we are so lucky to be blessed with!

I hope this helps!
Also, please can the person who submitted this question comment to let me know that you read this answer and if you still have a question about what I wrote?
Thanks!

Chanukah - Inner Spark

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 01:51:00 +0000

We know that Chanukah is the ‘festival of lights’. One thing you can learn from looking at a candle is that no matter which way you turn it, the flame will always face the same direction-upwards. ner Hashem nishmas adam-the neshama of a person is compared to a candle. No matter where a Jew goes, no matter what situation he is put in, there is always that flickering flame, also known as the pintele yid, burning inside his soul. A Jew may go through all kinds of situations but his soul will always be pointing upwards, just like a candle. Sometime it takes the right person, with the right words to tap into that inner spark – but it is always there.

Here is a small inspiring story about HaRav Yisroel Meir Kagan zt”l, the Chofetz Chaim, that clearly illustrates this point.

Once, a burly, gruff looking, man who had served in the Russian army, entered a Jewish Inn and ordered a meal. When Jewish boys were drafted, it was usually the end of Yiddishkeit, religious observance, for them. The army brainwashed them to worship Mother Russia rather than G-d. He plopped himself down and ate in a most disgusting manner - stuffing an entire chicken down his mouth. It was revolting that this man, a Jew, could conduct himself in so repulsive a manner. The innkeeper and the others present were sickened and embarrassed by this display; though none dared say anything.

The Chofetz Chaim happened to be a guest at that Inn. He saw the young man and slowly approached him. Everyone wondered, what would the Chofetz Chaim possibly say to this man.

What could he say?

Surely this oaf would not listen to any rebuke, even from such a holy man. The Chofetz Chaim asked the man, "Is it true that you served in the Russian army?" "Yes," snorted the man, bracing his defenses for the oncoming tongue-lashing he was fully expecting.

"Tell me," began the Chofetz Chaim, "How did you manage to keep your Jewish identity in those circumstances? So many Jewish boys entered the army, only to eventually give up their Judaism. They are forced to serve for 25 years without any kosher food, Jewish holidays, or any other vestige of Judaism. Yet, when you could have easily gone to any Inn, you chose a Jewish one. You still identify as a Jew. I don't know if I could have done what you did. You are an inspiration. Where did you find the strength?"

The soldier, caught off guard and clearly moved, looked straight at the Chofetz Chaim, "It was so hard, they did everything to pound it out of us - to make us denounce and forget that we were Jews."

The Chofetz Chaim responded, "It is a miracle that you made it through. Now you can begin to learn the Torah and observe mitzvos (religious duties) that you were deprived of all these years."

"But Rebbi (teacher), how can I possibly do that," the soldier, now sobbing bitterly, responded. He continued through his tears, "I want to return to my heritage, but I am so far removed. Surely it isn't possible for someone like me to learn."

"No," said the Chofetz Chaim, "It is still possible. It is always possible. I can show you how."

As the soldier spoke to the Chofetz Chaim, the stones on his heart began to melt. Had the Chofetz Chaim not understood and appreciated this man's perspective, this amazing episode never would have occurred.

What did happen was: from that day on, the former soldier began a path to repentance and as the years went by, developed into an observant, well learned Jew.

a new thought of noticing the miracles in our lives every day:) just open your eyes to this magnificient world hashem made for you!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chaya Sara) — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 01:54:00 +0000

Chanukah - What is Bitachon?

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 18:09:00 +0000

HaRav Mattisyahu Salomon Shlita, recently provided fundamental introductory words to the Yom Tov of Chanukah. Chanukah teaches us yesodos, basics, in bitachon. With the mighty falling into the hands of the weak, the many losing battle after battle to the few, a little bit of oil lasting eight days, we learn that natural law, statistics and probability are not relevant to the Ba’al bitachon. What happened in the past is by no means determinative that the same will happen again in the future. On the other hand, bitachon in Hashem does not mean that we are confident that whatever we want to happen will happen. What is bitachon?

The Rabbeinu Yonah teaches that bitachon is hope. When statistics say that something is impossible, K’lal Yisroel still has hope, for Hashem can do anything. What we simply do not know is if Hashem, as the HaTov and HaMaitiv wants it to happen. We don’t know and often cannot see the Tov in events that occur. This is where the next step in bitachon comes in. We believe that notwithstanding our subjective hope, what really happens is all good. One may have davened for what he thought was good for him, but when the opposite occurred, Hashem indicated that in reality what he davened for was not the best for him. When we properly exercise our bitachon, we do not know what the outcome will be, for it depends on the Cheshbonos of the Ribbono Shel Olam.

Chanukah teaches that “Ain Od Melvado-there is nothing but His Will” is really the metziyus, the reality. In everyday life, this is hidden by nature, but in special moments (such as Chanukah and Purim, and perhaps other special times in a person’s life), Hashem makes it visible. It was a clear statistical impossibility for thirteen people (no matter how able bodied they were) to defeat tens of thousands. Hashem willed otherwise-and the rest is history that we celebrate -which reignites the flame of bitachon within us every year.

HaRav Salomon continues with a beautiful teaching of HaRav Chaim Volozhiner, Z’tl (in Sefer Ruach Chaim to Avos 2:4). There, HaRav Chaim brings the famous Kepital in Tehillim (23)--”Hashem Roii Lo Echsar-Hashem is my shepherd-I will lack nothing.” Dovid HaMelech compares himself to a sheep whose whole existence depends on the shepherd. He leads them in a way that they won’t be injured-all is for their benefit even if they have no understanding. Dovid HaMelech teaches us all to follow the shepherd and feel secure, for even if one may be tired and harassed, he can have full confidence that the shepherd is leading him in the path that is really best. Sometimes we see the good, but often it is not visible. Knowing this, the Shivtecha-the stick that hits me, and Mishantecha-the stick that I lean upon, are really the same stick. Thus, Heimah Yenachamuni-they together assuage me because I have bitachon that everything is LeTova-for the good-for it all comes from the One who is All Good.

At the end of this week's Parsha, Parshas Vayeisheiv, Yosef HaTzaddik places some eminently justifiable reliance on the Sar Hamashkim-after all that he did for him. However, the end was, as the last word of the Parsha testifies-Vayishkacheihu-and he forgot him. [On the other hand, Dovid Hamelech exclaims-V’shavti Bevais Hashem L’Orech Yomim-I look to nothing else and to no one else, other than dwelling together with Hashem for length of days.] With this, Yosef learned that our hallmark for survival in galus among all those around us who in fact do us a favor if they only ‘forget us’-is looking to Hashem for anything and everything. The lesson learned is quickly brought into practice in next week’s Parsha as Yosef starkly and clearly advises Paroah, Biladai-it is not me, it is Hashem who makes all determinations and all decisions, and it is to Him that we must turn-in all dreams, and in all realities!

(Taken from a recent Hakhel post.)

For Everything a Blessing

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 02:03:00 +0000

Thank you M.B. for emailing this story to me.

When I was an elementary school student in Yeshiva—a Jewish parochial school with both religious and secular studies—my classmates and I used to find amusing a sign that was posted just outside the bathroom. It was an ancient Jewish blessing, commonly referred to as the asher yatzar benediction, that was supposed to be recited after one relieved oneself. For grade school children, there could be nothing more strange or ridiculous than to link the acts of micturition and defecation with holy words that mentioned God's name. Blessings were reserved for prayers, for holy days, or for thanking God for food or for some act of deliverance, but surely not for a bodily function that evoked smirks and giggles.

It took me several decades to realize the wisdom that lay behind this blessing that was composed by Abayei, a fourth century Babylonian rabbi. Abayei's blessing is contained in the Talmud, an encyclopedic work of Jewish law and lore that was written over the first five centuries of the common era. The Jewish religion is chock-full of these blessings, or brachot, as they are called in Hebrew. In fact, an entire tractate of Talmud, 128 pages in length, is devoted to brachot.

On page 120 (Brachot 60b) of the ancient text it is written: "Abayei said, when one comes out of a privy he should say: Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is obvious and known before Your throne of glory that if one of them were to be ruptured or one of them blocked, it would be impossible for a man to survive and stand before You. Blessed are You that heals all flesh and does wonders."

An observant Jew is supposed to recite this blessing in Hebrew after each visit to the bathroom.

We young Yeshiva students were reminded of our obligation to recite this prayer by the signs that contained its text that were posted just outside the rest room doors. It is one thing, however, to post these signs and it is quite another to realistically expect preadolescents to have the maturity to realize the wisdom of and need for reciting a 1600-year-old blessing related to bodily functions.

It was not until my second year of medical school that I first began to understand the appropriateness of this short prayer.

Pathophysiology brought home to me the terrible consequences of even minor aberrations in the structure and function of the human body. At the very least, I began to no longer take for granted the normalcy of my trips to the bathroom.
Instead, I started to realize how many things had to operate just right for these minor interruptions of my daily routine to run smoothly. I thought of Abayei and his blessing. I recalled my days at Yeshiva and remembered how silly that sign outside the bathroom had seemed. But after seeing patients whose lives revolved around their dialysis machines, and others with colostomies and urinary catheters, I realized how wise the rabbi had been.

And then it happened: I began to recite Abayei's brocha. At first I had to go back to my siddur, the Jewish prayer book, to get the text right. With repetition—and there were many opportunities for a novice to get to know this blessing well—I could recite it fluently and with sincerity and understanding.

Over the years, reciting the asher yatzar has become for me an opportunity to offer thanks not just for the proper functioning of my excretory organs, but for my overall good health. The text, after all, refers to catastrophic consequences of the rupture or obstruction of any bodily structure, not only those of the urinary or gastrointestinal tract. Could Abayei, for example, have foreseen that "blockage" of the "cavity," or lumen, of the coronary artery would lead to the commonest cause of death in industrialized countries some 16 centuries later?

I have often wondered if other people also yearn for some way to express gratitude for their good health. Physicians especially, who are exposed daily to the ravages that illness can wreak, must sometimes feel the need to express thanks for being well and thus well-being. Perhaps a generic, nondenominational asher yatzar could be composed for those who want to verbalize their gratitude for being blessed with good health.

There was one unforgettable patient whose story reinforced the truth and beauty of the asher yatzer for me forever. Josh was a 20-year-old student who sustained an unstable fracture of his third and fourth cervical vertebrae in a motor vehicle crash. He nearly died from his injury and required emergency intubation and ventilatory support. He was initially totally quadriplegic but for weak flexion of his right biceps.

A long and difficult period of stabilization and rehabilitation followed. There were promising signs of neurological recovery over the first few months that came suddenly and unexpectedly: movement of a finger here, flexion of a toe there, return of sensation here, adduction of a muscle group there. With incredible courage, hard work, and an excellent physical therapist, Josh improved day by day. In time, and after what seemed like a miracle, he was able to walk slowly with a leg brace and a cane.

But Josh continued to require intermittent catheterization. I knew only too well the problems and perils this young man would face for the rest of his life because of a neurogenic bladder. The urologists were very pessimistic about his chances for not requiring catheterization. They had not seen this occur after a spinal cord injury of this severity.

Then the impossible happened. I was there the day Josh no longer required a urinary catheter. I thought of Abayei's asher yatzar prayer. Pointing out that I could not imagine a more meaningful scenario for its recitation, I suggested to Josh, who was also a Yeshiva graduate, that he say the prayer. He agreed. As he recited the ancient bracha, tears welled in my eyes.

Josh is my son.

Kenneth M. Prager, MD
New York, NY

From: http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/277/20/1589.full.pdf

Small Deed. Big Person

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:33:00 +0000

HaRav Chaim Ozer Grodzinsky Zatzal, Rav of Vilna, Raban Shel Yisroel.(1863-1940)

A man stopped HaRav Caim Ozer Grodzinsky Zatzal, the Rav of Vilna and the Gadol and Posek Hador in the pre-WWII era, to ask for directions how to get to his destination.

This man was stuttering, so Rav Chaim Ozer not only gave him directions but also walked him all the way to his destination.

The students asked why? R Chaim Ozer answered "If I didn't take him there he might have needed to ask direction again and then he might get embarrassed."

SMALL DEED. BIG PERSON.

CG's First Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:09:00 +0000

Today's Chaya Gitty's (English) birthday. She's just a year old but...so much happens in one year. The amount of growth and development I see in my daughter from when she was a tiny newborn until now is amazing. She can already say a few words, she crawls (and her older brother likes to copy her :-) ) and will soon be walking!

I had this same thought when I wrote a post on SB's first birthday but it hit me again this morning. Look at how much a baby changes in the first year of their life. They learn so much about the world around them and develop from a newborn who is unable to do anything but cry, eat and make in their diapers to real little people. Little people who are slowly discovering so much about their own little world. Chaya Gitty is a whole new person already. She's little but she knows and understands so much.

This made me think about how much I did in this past year. How much did I change? I know a lot changed around me and there were so many stories that happened in the past year but did they change me?

When I put my daughter to sleep tonight and sang to her, my eyes filled with tears and I began to cry. I couldn't finish the song. I just looked at her precious little eyes staring right back at me, sweet, innocent eyes and let myself cry. I cried tears of appreciation and tears of hope. I looked at her with such appreciation and gratitude to Hashem for giving me such a sweet, soft princess of a baby. It such a bracha to be blessed with such a gift. And I cried tears of hope for the future...and I davened. I davened for her to be good in every sense of the word, to have good friends when she grows up and to always be happy.

Every parent wants their child to be happy. Do we begin to realize how much our parents do for us and to what lengths they go to try to make us happy? They make decisions based on how they think it would affect us and always have our good, our ultimate good in mind. We should appreciate all they do, speak to them with respect and realize just how much they do for us.

I once heard that Hashem put the parent-child relationship into this world so that we could learn how to relate to Him. Just like a parent does so much for a child but the child cannot fathom how much the parent really does, so too, Hashem does so so much for us and we can't even begin to imagine how much He really does for us. Of course it takes no effort on His part to do all that He does but do we realize how much we have to be grateful for? He keeps us alive and healthy and gives us so much bounty. Family to care for us, friends to have fun with, so many choices of foods to eat...every little detail of our lives, every little and big blessing all comes from Him. Spend some time every day saying thank you to your Father in Heaven!

A birthday, from the very first one, can be used as a day to think about and thank Hashem for all the blessings and good things He has given you. I am so lucky to have a daughter as precious as Chaya Gitty and I hope to continue to feel this deep gratitude to Him for all the good Hashem will continue to shower upon our family.

Any sprinkles left on the cupcake? (She's too little for a whole big cake :-D)

Know Your Worth

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:24:00 +0000

If the image of Jacob's ladder was not the most spectacular prophetic vision ever, it certainly comes close. In his dream, Jacob saw a ladder planted firmly on the ground yet reaching all the way into the heavens, and as he watched in utter fascination, he saw angels ascending and descending the ladder.

Then he wakes up, and lo and behold, it was all a dream. Jacob is shaken, and he reacts rather strangely. How can it be, he laments, that I am in the presence of the Almighty and did not even know it? No expressions of transcendent joy. No ecstatic expansion of the mind as a result of his sublime prophecy. Just chagrin. Why?

Our Sages tell us that he was mortified that he had actually slept in such a holy place. But even this does not fully answer the question. After all, what is so terrible about sleeping on hallowed ground? And if it was really such a terrible transgression, why did the Almighty reward him with this prophetic dream?

The commentators explain that Jacob was disappointed because he had missed an extraordinary opportunity. Had he known that he stood on hallowed ground, had he known he was actually standing in the presence of the Almighty, he would have concentrated on having an even more intense prophetic encounter with Him. But he had been completely oblivious to his surroundings. Indeed, he had gone to sleep!

He could have risen to incredible spiritual levels. He could have attained the most profound prophetic insights. He could have penetrated the deepest secrets of the universe. But he went to sleep. He did have a phenomenal prophetic vision in his dream, but that was where it stopped. So much potential unfulfilled. Such a great opportunity lost. It is little wonder that Jacob awoke disappointed.

A young man came to study in the academy of a great sage. He listened to the sage expound his thoughts and was amazed at their profound wisdom. He bent over the revered texts and pored over every single words in awe. A feeling of humility swept through his soul.

"Oh, what a nothing I am," he muttered under his breath. "What a miserable ignorant nothing."

The sage overheard his words and called him closer.

"Young man," he said, "why do you consider yourself a nothing?"

"Because I am weak, a salve to my physical needs and desires." "I see. And why did you come here?"

"To learn from you."

"If you wish to stay here and be successful," said the sage, "then you cannot consider yourself a nothing. After all, if you are truly nothing, how can you possibly retain wisdom? No, my young friend. Humility is a very good trait, but know your own worth. Know the sublimity of your soul and give it what it deserves."

In our own lives, we sometimes fall asleep on hallowed ground. Driven down by the pressures of everyday life, we can easily fall into the trap of deprecating our own worth.

We consider our shortcomings and our failures, and we tell ourselves we have no business setting our sights very high. But this is a serious mistake.

Never sell yourself short. You are hallowed ground. You possess a holy soul that is a spark of the divine. You are endowed with incredible spiritual treasures and resources. You have a kind nature and a generous spirit.

Most important of all, you are a descendant of the patriarchs, a custodian of the holy Torah here on this world. Your potential is incalculable. You have it within your grasp to reach for the sublime. Don't fall asleep on the job. Don't wake up disappointed after it is too late. Open your eyes and experience the exhilaration of fulfillment.

Taken from Rabbi Naftali Reich at www.Torah.org

A Pot of Murky Waters

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 21:01:00 +0000

Question of the Week:

I never used to work on myself. I didn't think I had to. I am a nice guy and always was. Only recently have I gotten involved in Judaism and become more introspective and spiritual. But a weird thing has happened. I don't think I am as nice as I used to be. I have discovered a temper I never knew I had. And I feel more tempted to do immoral things than ever before. This really started since I'm coming to shul more and learning more about my religion. Does this make sense? Shouldn't becoming more observant make me better not worse?

Answer:

There's good news and bad news. The bad news is, you were never a completely nice guy. No one is. The good news is, now you can do something about it. You can learn how by observing a pot on the fire.

Fill a pot with water from the tap and examine it. Does the water look clean? Of course it does, it is straight from the tap. Then put the pot on a fire, and watch it boil. Observe that as the water gets hotter, impurities start to float to the top. Sediment and dirt and all kinds of contaminants suddenly seem to appear from nowhere.

Of course they were there before, but they were so mixed in with the water that you didn't notice them. The water only looked clean. When put on a fire, the heat separates out the impurities and brings them to the surface. What seemed to be just an innocent pot of water turns out to be a mix of good stuff and not so good stuff.

Your personality is that pot of water. We can all look at ourselves and say, "I am a pretty good guy. I don't hurt anyone, I am not mean or cruel." For most of us, if we are not mass-murderers we think we are fine.

In truth, we all have darker sides to ourselves. We have weaknesses of character, bad attitudes and inappropriate urges that lurk beneath the surface. As long as we don't shake ourselves up, these impurities remain anonymous, blending in with our general identity. We are not so bad, and not so good.

It is only when we start to self-examine, when we probe into our inner workings and try to improve ourselves, only then do all the hidden gremlins start to emerge. When the fire of your soul starts to burn with spiritual passion, the ugliness that hid in the recesses of your heart appears in full force.

This is great. Because only when the impurities float to the surface can they be identified, isolated and removed. While the pot remained a mixture of pure water and sediment, there is no way to get rid of the dregs without losing the water. But once the heat separates out the two, it is easy to skim off the surface residue and the water is clear.

So the choice is yours. Live a life of mediocrity, a lukewarm pot of water that seems all nice but is really just mixed up. Or let the fire of your soul expose your inner weaknesses, so you can face them and boil them away.

Good Shabbos,

Rabbi Moss

Positive Speech

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 03:57:00 +0000

This was posted once before...

How can we improve the way we speak?

Positive Word Power, an amazing book on the topic of Speaking Positively is not just recommended reading. It is a truly essential work, which will help you learn how to speak in a more positive way and will give you practical guidelines for effective growth - both in the areas of personal development and in interpersonal relationships. If you do not have it yet, it is a good idea to buy it, study it and really apply its useful and true-to-life lessons.

The sefer is actually arranged in short and poignant daily lessons. Below is a sample of a Daily Lesson. Even for those who are already studying the book, the following can certainly be read, reread, and reread (and applied!).

“I just want you to know how much we enjoy having your son around,” Leah told her friend, Tova. Leah lived in Israel, where Tova’s son was learning in yeshivah. He spent many a Shabbos with Leah and her family, eager as he was to enjoy a family atmosphere and home cooking. Tova sometimes wondered if he wasn’t perhaps overusing his welcome.

“He’s so helpful and such a terrific addition to the table,” Leah enthused. Later on, when Tova spoke to her son, she was happy to relate her friend’s warm words. Her son was happy to hear that his presence was welcome. He felt valued and good that he was seen as someone with something to offer. Thereafter, each time he visited Leah's family for Shabbos, he aimed to enhance his reputation further. He made sure to bring an especially interesting Dvar Torah, he brought puzz1es and games for the family’s children, and cake from the bakery for the family to enjoy. He wanted to maintain his status as a "terrific addition," and he did.

Everyone is well aware of the negative impact of hearing unkind words passed along about oneself. People do not often consider, however, the ripple effects of good words being passed along. Everyone loves to hear that something nice was said about them. It enhances their self-esteem, and more importantly, it builds their desire to continue doing the good thing for which they were praised. The child who was told, "Your teacher says you always have interesting ideas to add to the class discussion," will look forward to the next opportunity to raise his/her hand in class. The husband who is told, "Your wife always quotes your opinion," will feel honored and admired by his wife, thereby encouraging him to continue earning her respect. The wife who hears, "You husband says he couldn't manage anything without you," will be happy to dig in and provide the support her husband counts on.

People long to feel acknowledged and appreciated. Praising someone to his face is one way to convey this recognition, yet there is always the lingering thought that perhaps the praise is meant "just to be nice." When a person hears that he was praised to another, the praise rings that much truer, for there can be no ulterior motive. Aaron HaKohen employed this method to foster peace and friendship among the Jewish people. He would tell each person how much the other person valued him, thereby building friendship and warmth. Often, we hear good things about someone, but fail to pass it on. It just takes a little awareness to tuck that compliment away and bring it out when it counts. Doing so takes the positive power of the comment itself and amplifies it a thousand times over, giving someone the encouragement to keep on doing what they do well, and the blessing of knowing they are appreciated.

Remember, when you hear a compliment or a positive statement about someone, you should try to pass it on to the subject of the comment.

Reproduced from Positive Word Power by the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation with permission from the copyright holders at Artscroll/Mesorah Publications, LTD.

we must understand what chanukah really is all about who could prepare us better than charlie harary!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chaya Sara) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 05:50:00 +0000

Making Impossible Possible

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 03:11:00 +0000

Thank you Malky for emailing this to me.

The Art of Making the Impossible Possible
By: Rabbi Avrohom Birnbaum

I am not a Satmar chossid by any means. I am far from it. Being stranded with some 80 Jews, among them several Satmar chassidim, atop Killington Mountain in Vermont last week, however, gave me eason to become a chossid of at least one aspect of their worldview, an aspect that I would like to share with my readers. Not just as a token of hakoras hatov to them for all that they did for my family and the 18 other stranded families, but rather because I think that there is much that we, as a community, can learn from them.

KOL HASHEM SHOVER ARAZIM!

Boruch Hashem, our rendezvous with Hurricane Irene ended with our arrival home early last Wednesday morning, absolutely exhausted, but exulting in Hashem’s kindness after witnessing the absolute devastation and destruction wrought on the state of Vermont. It is impossible to describe what we saw as we left central Vermont, other than that it looked like a war zone. Roads were literally “bombed” out, with massive chasms along both sides of every road, and ripped-up, twisted pavement and metal guardrails spilling into raging rivers. We drove in the middle of those roads on what had once been the two yellow lines, terrified that one wrong move, one turn of the wheel or shifting of the already puckered pavement, would bring us in direct contact with those raging rapids.

We saw houses and cars floating downstream. It was heartbreaking to see local residents sitting outside what had once been their houses or farms, shell-shocked as they watched their possessions, their life’s work, literally swallowed up before their eyes. They were helpless. Nothing they could have done would have prevented that.

Kol Hashem shover arazim!

ACTION, NOT HAND-WRINGING

Let us, however, return to our Satmar friends. They were by no means the majority in our group. They were just a few families, but as soon as it became clear that the situation was dire and it was conceivable that we would not be leaving for a few days, they sprang into action.

While the rest of us were engaging in hand-wringing and speculation as to what our plight would be and when the authorities would release us, they were working the phones.
“Look, we don’t have enough food,” one of them told me. “We have to figure out a way to get food flown in. We can’t very well let families, especially families with small children, have little or nothing to eat.”

About two hours later, while I was contemplating how to stretch some oatmeal and peanut butter to last a few days, they told me with a sense of pride that “by tonight, a helicopter would bring us ‘kol tuv.’” That is exactly what happened.

CHANGING THE FOCUS FROM IF TO HOW

How did they do it?

It was a combination of factors. Perhaps the first crucial factor was a deeply ingrained devotion to chessed. They have been hardwired to do whatever possible for those in distress. It is their default button, almost part of their very DNA.

The second factor is a different approach to life and serving the public than that which we are accustomed to. The basic working premise that my new found Satmar friends displayed as soon as the problem crystallized was, “There is a solution to the problem.” End of sentence.

We will solve the problem with Hashem’s help. The question is only how and how much money and work it will involve.

Their phone calls led them to the Chesed Shel Emes organization, which has connections to the Coast Guard and FEMA. They worked government channels and got permission to fly to Vermont and land a helicopter on Killington Mountain. When it became clear that they could not get a government helicopter, they simply paid for a private one.

How did they accumulate enormous amounts of food in a matter of hours?

Simple. Chaverim of Kiryas Yoel and others circulated numerous businesses in Kiryas Yoel, Monsey and Brooklyn, seeking donations. The special Yidden, the proprietors, gave beyad rechavah, with a generous
hand.

“People are stuck? Of course we will help them!”

Again, their hardwired DNA kicked in.

The entire effort, from beginning to end, was donated. Chessed Shel Emes, Reb Isaac Lieder and Chaverim did not ask for a penny. They did not want anything in return. They just saw a need and filled it. They transformed what we saw as impossible to possible. Why? Because for them it was never impossible. The question was not, “Can we do it?” but rather, “How can we do it?”

About 40 miles away from us, there was a frum camp that was also stranded for two days due to Irene. Although the camp was not a chassidishe one, they, too, were eventually in contact with Chessed Shel Emes as well.

According to Rav Yaakov Yosef Rosenberg of Chesed Shel Emes, if not for the fact that they got out the next morning, Chessed Shel Emes would have brought them food too, no questions asked.

THE QUESTION: WHY?

The reason is that their default button is set to make possible the impossible. Those communities have entire networks of organizations in place to help with such eventualities.

Why, when you are a recipient of their chessed, do they give you the feeling that they are happier to be performing the chessed than you are to receive it?

Perhaps the answer lies with the great gaon and tzaddik, the Satmar Rov, Rav Yoel Teitelbaum zt”l. One of the foundations that he literally hammered into the mindset of his chassidim is that chessed must be done, no questions asked.

It does not matter who the recipient is or if his ideology is different or even opposed to yours. If he is a fellow Yid, you must drop everything to help him. The Rebbe insisted that young children and bochurim go around collecting funds for tzedakah so that they will understand how it feels to collect and they will be imbued with a culture of giving. There is still no Bikur Cholim organization that can compete with the size and scope of the Satmar Bikur Cholim. That deeply ingrained feeling of responsibility for Jews, especially Jews in difficult situations, is where so much of their creative energy is channeled.

The amazing results, as well as the contrasts with other cultures, are clear.

DEALING WITH THE HOW…AND MAKING IT WORK!

Even with regard to mosdos and educational institutions, Satmar, as one of the fastest growing populations, possesses many of the same demographic challenges that other frum communities experience. They have a burgeoning population and the mosdos have a hard time keeping pace with the demand for classroom space. Again, the question is not, “Can we keep up?” The answer is already a resounding, “Yes!” The only question is, “How will we do it?”

Recently, a friend related how a family he knew moved to a certain New York community and the school that he wanted would not accept his son, not because he was unqualified, but because there was no space. The child was out of school for the first few weeks. He tried everything, but all doors seemed closed. Eventually, someone put him in touch with a principal of a Satmar school.

“Your child is out of cheder?!” he asked incredulously. “Come down right away!”

The father came down with his son and the principal greeted the child with a wide smile.

“Hello Moishele!” he said.

Without even going to his office, he walked Moishele to a classroom, opened the door, and exclaimed, “Kinderlach, there is a new yingele in cheder!”

He did not even check if there was an extra desk in the classroom. That detail could be worked out later. First and foremost a child had to be in cheder. Only later did he accompany the father to the office and take down his information.

To that menahel, the question was how, not if. Perhaps it is time to emulate this Satmar approach to public service and chessed. Perhaps it is time to train our youth - and adults – to give unconditionally, to love to give, to desire to give, to take pride in giving.

You don’t have to be a Satmar chossid to be a chossid of Satmar chessed. Let’s try it!

You don’t have to be a Satmar chossid to be a chossid of Satmar chessed.

So as not to Embarrass...

noreply@blogger.com (Devorah) — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 03:11:00 +0000

I posted this a while back. The message and lesson you can take from it is so, so important.

I got this email a while ago and I think this story really teaches us an important lesson in how to treat other people.

By: Rabbi Pesach J. Krohn
At a recent Sheva Berachos party for a newly married couple held at the Mir Yeshiva in Jerusalem, a groom told a story that astounded the guests.

The young man had a stellar reputation as one who always did the right thing; hence his tale of something that happened in his youth was startling. His interpretation of what transpired made the evening memorable.

In his talk, the groom thanked the family that hosted the Sheva Berachos, and spoke glowingly of his parents and his bride's family. He spoke about the significance and responsibility of marriage, sprinkling his words with biblical verses and teachings of the Sages. Finally he said he wished to speak of "a turning point" in his life.

It happened when he was in fifth grade. A classmate, Naftali, came in one day showing everyone an expensive new watch he had just received as a gift. His mother had warned him not to take the watch to school lest it get lost or broken, but he disobeyed. He wanted to show the fancy new watch to his friends and classmates. At recess, with everyone running out to play ball, the boy took off his watch, and left it on his desk, so there would be no risk of scratching or breaking it during recess.

When he returned to class after recess, the watch was gone! He let out a hysterical shriek. How could he come home without the watch? His parents would punish him severely. There was no consoling the boy as he cried, begging his rebbi (spiritual mentor) to help him find the watch.

The rebbi , who had been standing in the hallway for most of recess, was quite sure that no one had entered the classroom since recess began, neither the custodian nor boys from another class. His instincts told him that it was a boy in his own class who had probably taken it on the way out or in from the playground.

The rebbi got everyone's attention and said, "I know that it may have been tempting for someone to take Naftali's watch. We all saw that it was very beautiful and quite expensive. However, we must get the watch back to him. Did anyone here take it by mistake? And if yes, would you like to return it?"

No one stirred as the boys nervously glanced around to see if anyone was admitting anything. The rebbi waited a few moments and said, "I guess I have no choice. I am going to ask all of you to stand up front, facing the wall and I am going to go through your pockets to see if it's there. But I am giving you one more chance to admit that you may have taken it by mistake. Look, it can happen. Someone just wanted to admire the watch so he may have picked it up and then inadvertently put it into his pocket."

Again no one said a thing. The rebbi called up the boys and asked them to stand against the wall and not to turn around even for a moment until he gave them permission. The groom's face turned red as he explained what happened next.
"I was the third boy in line. Once everyone was in place he started going through the pockets of every boy, and he found the watch in mine. I had been hoping against hope that he wouldn't find it, as I planned to return it to Naftali after school. However, now the rebbi had the culprit. I was shaking as I waited for him to shout at me, or express glee that he found it.

"Instead he continued checking every single boy! When he finished searching the last boy, he said, 'You all can go back to your seats. I have the watch.'

"As I walked back to my seat I had to hold myself back from crying. I understood what the rebbi did and how he saved me from being embarrassed. He had continued the search so no one could figure out who had taken the watch. As we sat down he didn't even look my way so no one could possibly have any inkling who the guilty party was. He resumed teaching. I decided then and there that someday I would like to be like him."

...

The groom, a rabbinical student in one of the world's most prominent institutions of higher Jewish learning, indeed became a wonderful person because his spiritual mentor protected his dignity and afforded him honor back in the fifth grade. With that gesture, the rebbi laid the foundation for the validation of a student in a new generation so that he eventually would do the same for his children and disciples.

Rabbi Paysach J. Krohn is a world famous inspirational lecturer and author of, among others, the just released In the Spirit of the Maggid: Inspirational stories that touch the heart and stir the spirit, from where this story was adapted.

I think this is so amazing! We see how careful we have to be with other peoples feelings! Just because someone did something wrong, that does not give you an excuse to yell at them, accuse them in public or embarrass them. Here you see a shining example of a rebbe who, instead of hurting his student's feelings was ultra careful!

I think that a very important thing when giving mussar to someone who did something wrong is not to speak to them in public! The shabbos table is not the right time/place to tell your kids that they did something wrong. If someone in the family needs to be spoken to about something they did, it should be done in private, in another room, away from all the siblings...this way, at least they have their dignity!

Right now, b"h, I am not in that stage, so it is easy for me to talk. B"h, Shalom Baruch doesn't know how to upset me much (besides for when he wakes up at 3, 4 and 5 o'clock in the morning or like yesterday when every single diaper of his was dirty - ok, I wasn't upset, just frustrated!). But I do hope that when he does grow up and I have something to tell him about his behavior or something he (or his siblings iy"h) did that upset me [me? get angry?! NO WAY! lol] , I remember this important lesson: Don't embarrass your child in front of other children! If you need to speak to them about something they did, take them into another room and...speak calmly!

I left this last part in this post because it's the way it was originally written but let me just tell you, kids can do a lot to test your patience. This lesson is so important. When a child does something wrong, it is bad enough that they got you upset. They know they upset you. They don't need you to yell at them or embarrass them in front of the rest of their family. Take them to another room...it makes such a difference!