The beginning

7/13

2010-07-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

Dad wakes me up early and says hey get up let's go to breakfast since there is only 3 of us home. This past two weeks we have been looking at home up and down this entire area. It has been exhausting but fun all at the same time. Looking can be so much fun!! So we go to IHOP ONLY to learn that he wanted to drag me to breakfast with him and mom because he lost in cards when playing with mom and loser had to buy breakfast. Since he lost he figured he'd come get me so i'd pay for food. What a scam!! I got him back later when we stopped at the gas station on our way to look at more houses and said to fill up. He assumed I was paying until I told him I conveniently forgot my wallet at home. =) I am his child and he taught me well!

7/12

2010-07-20T02:38:00.000-07:00

Pepe comes and picks up leti. Now the house is back to quiet and it's bleak. So it goes hand and hand with laundry day. So begins the long war with the laundry machine.

7/11

2010-07-20T02:37:00.000-07:00

Church today. We go to costco in the am before lotu. We pick up a few things for camp the following week and stuff for peni's fafanga. Today is our last day with leti he leaves tomorrow. So we all go to watch Despicable Me and it was uber cute. Loved it.. leti said it was alright

7/10

2010-07-20T02:35:00.000-07:00

My paycheck is all messed up because of my medical leave. I got paid 2 bills how LAME!!! All is well though because leti is home for yet another day.

7/9

2010-07-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

Mom calls leti today to say hi. Leti starts BAWLING like it ain't no body's business. No one can calm him down over the phone. He misses home and wants to come back. Dad and I has it out.. Trying to get him to understand that leti is 6 and doesn't really get all the adults concepts we are shoving down his throat is wrong. It really bugs me as we don't see this the same. So dad says he's going to drop him off for the weekend so he can spend time with us and maybe feel better. So leti is home tonight!! HORRAY!!!

7/8

2010-07-20T02:31:00.000-07:00

Today PT goes to feed the homeless at home plate. I am at work. I always miss the good spirit enhancing experiences.. ohh well.. went to jones farm gym today that place is awesome. We had lot of fun. Rosie is back from vacation and all is back to normal. Today's ball/kettlebell exercises kicked my butt bad!

7/7

2010-07-20T02:28:00.000-07:00

Back to work! Still the 4 of us and nothing going wrong. It's all going well. Work is work nothing more nothing less.

7/6

2010-07-20T02:27:00.000-07:00

I get a txt neil wants to go out and play tennis with the vball boys. Yayyy I think i'll go i've been moping around the house long enough. So off I go and luci comes out to play as well. We do pretty good for the first two hours. Then after luci says goodbye they still need me to play doubles. I can honestly say I am hurting bad.. my stomach is in knots i'm crapping in the entire abdomen, my back is seized. Ohh CRAP maybe playing this hard when i'm not suppose to is probably not the best idea. I lay out on the warm tennis court and wait for my body to settle. It takes an hour. By that time it's 945pm and I call it quits. I limp home and hurt the rest of the night. I derserve it.. complete idiot.

7/5

2010-07-20T02:24:00.000-07:00

I did nothing.. or more to the point I did nothing memorable not even the gym. Which means i'm in a rut cause usually although the doc says no I usually don't listen. hmmm

7/4

2010-07-20T02:22:00.000-07:00

Me, lata and luvu heard out early in the AM to Albertsons and Marshalls to get some gifts for pa. Today is his 20th bday. He is lotu'i at home and gets a Hurley backpack and a pack of socks from yours truly. He got a bunch of stuff! We done good today. Then after church we go to target to get some fireworks. We spend a couple of hours playing fireworks before we took them all and burned them all at once. It's not as nice as seeing the illegal fireworks going off. But given our history with illegal fireworks and the cops we passed this year.

7/3

2010-07-20T02:19:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking mostly because it's a crappy time and I have no need to feel like I actually want to blog about it.. but I gather it's the point right?? Well today it's another usual day. I go home early and I end up watching air bender.. great movie I loved it. All the real fans of that show says it sucks. I know nothing about it and I quite enjoy it.

7/2

2010-07-11T01:51:00.000-07:00

Today at work it is a lil better on break I found a place and passed right now. I brought the truck to work this time so I didn't have to wait for anyone! It was nice.. I ended up to dinner with felix and leti. I had to go pick them up later. Leti was super excited to see me when I got there.. see he had to say goodbye yesterday and was feeling a bit sad. When we got to standfords and mom and the boys weren't there he said.. where is mana and tane? Then things fell apart. He tried really really hard to hide it but he cried all dinner so I excused us and we went to the bathroom and he burst into tears because he was gonna miss us. I was shocked and of course when you see your baby cry you cry I dont care who you are. I hold it all together though because I have to. Because I still have a dinner to get through with his grandpa. Because I can't cry in front of felix AND I can't cry with leti because things will escalate. Sometimes I hate being the older responsible one. So I try to cheer him up and we head back to the table. He sprawls on the bench and leans against me. I can feel the tears seeping through my clothes. I want to leave but we just got dinner. So I put my arm around the poor boy my unspoken comfort while I cont. to talk. I am having a hard time keeping it together so I kind of rush it. He really wants to see everyone at home so I make up some excuse and then I drive home. He lights right up and bounds out the door he gets to go say hi. So I call his dad and try to explain that leti is having a hard time with long transitions so he needs to be a little understanding. He is no longer crying, he is laughing and smiling and enjoying himself. When it's time to say goodbye he gets into the truck and starts to cry. I drop them off at pep's house. He is bawling and his dad is trying to console him and tell him to stop crying. I say goodbye to them all leti gives me a quick hug because he is running into the house to find a corner i'm sure of it. I drive away and the minute I back out of the driveway tear are rushing down my face. I am crying so hard I pull over and sit for a good hour. My eyes are swollen, it is really late at night, I am alone, first time for this long with out my son, my head is pounding and I am tired. I slip into my room and crawl in bed. Right now life sucks.

Leti's last day

2010-07-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

I wake up super super early and watch him sleep. Ohh brother i will not make myself sick over worry. I say a prayer for my baby. I cry in my room alone because I dont want him to go. Ohh boy did I just admit that? As I get the phone call that ride is almost here I wake him to carry him to the living room where the rest of the family slept for his slumber party. He ran away late at night and came into my room he chose to sleep in here versus with everyone else. I kiss his lil cheeks and tell him he needs to call mom at least every 2 days. I give him to mom who has already starting crying.. that of course is to be expected. She was already there yesterday. I say goodbye and walk out the door. I'm going to work. At work I completely unestimated my body. I am exhausted by 10am. Literally tired! I already had a headache in the am and took migraine meds for it. But it doesn't go away. it gets worse. I guess I am not ready to go to work heck my doc even said I should be back to work on the 19th. I let my manager know.. this time my stubborness can't outway my body. My body wins and I listen this time. For the rest of this week i'm leaving early. I'm not going back on leave there isn't enough people working and that would be bad. I am freezing.. I am in heavy leggings, sweater and under quilts writing my blog. At least now i'm caught up..

6/30

2010-07-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

It's lil mr's last day here at home. I feel like I need to cram as much as possible into this one day. I dont want to feel.. I just want to do. I don't think I can handle the fact that he will be gone out of my grasp for this long period of time. Mr. x and I take him to out of this world. We play. I hurt a lot but we play because it's his last day. He loves when i'm out because really let's face it I wont be running sprints or jumping hurdles anytime soon. I spend more time just sitting and watching. I love that place.. Then off to the doc's I go. Final word all things from the surgery say benign. Super anemic still. Pain will vary. I have one gene for clotting issue something that starts with a H. I get a prescription for more drugs for my daily headaches. Headaches scare me. It is the one thing that I can't forge through like super women. It brings me to my knees EVERY time. I have had them every day since I went off the drugs. Doc says I should have had them while I was on the drugs and he doesn't understand why they are happening after. Hmm we go home play a lil mater and mcqueen and then off we go to the pool for a swim. I just about change to go with lil mr. but then decide to just sit and watch. I get there and am annoyed I should have just gone swimming with him. But the boys come from the gym and go swimming with him. He enjoys it cause he is drowning them. He didn't get that from me! Then last thing for the night we all go to red robin as a family as a last dinner before leti leaves the house for 2 months.. I love my lil brat and I dont want to think about him leaving.

6/29

2010-07-01T20:26:00.000-07:00

We finally got home early morning time frame. Straight to bed it was for us. Then it was late morning start. The van was returned today. Today I went to starbucks and had coffee with mrs. brenan. She is the ESL teacher from leti's elementary. It was a really good convo over cup of coffee for me. We gabbed for like 2 hours. It was good and I learned about a private elementary that I am looking into for leti. It's not that I dont love public education. I was public all the way and so was very else in the fam but things are hugely different here in the states versus home. Plus the teacher student ratio is HORRIBLE. I didn't think that meant much but as I volunteer all the time I see that she can't be everywhere at once and reigning in all the kids as once it's completely impossible! After coffee it was back home for the rest of the day just hanging out with lil mr. playing cards and just relaxing.. It was a good day.

6/28

2010-07-01T01:02:00.000-07:00

Tane, luvu, leti and I are all in one room.. It's too packed in here but it's ok for one night! We get up pack the van, hit tutti frutti one more time before we head out. Leti is 2 steps away from throwing up. It's two things.. he is either hot or he is car sick. This boy is sensitive in vehicles it's really funny. So we sleep until the first rest area on I5. My head is pounding.. ever since the surgery I had daily headaches.. hmmm not exactly a good sign. I dont know what it is but I refuse to take anything for it until I feel just about ready to keel over. Close to dinner we stop at rolling hills casino for dinner. The food is HORRIFIC.. dont ever go there for food. Horrible and super duper expensive. Mau ma'u katoa emau tola he vainga he kasino. Feunga moe totongi e kai more vainga a leti mo tane. We cont on and stop at several rest areas for various reasons. Tane, leti, mom and I play last card and then mom quits. We play from afternoon about 2 till about 10pm it passes the time and is actually kind of fun!

6/27

2010-07-01T00:49:00.000-07:00

Guilt and shame... interesting I swear I blogged about this earlier. The sermon today was about that. I swear I learn something new everyday!! It's very common to hear.. boy I made that huge mistake today because I forgot to read my bible this am before leaving the house. Or I bet something bad will happen cause I didn't go to sunday service. All of this is something we are used to saying or hearing.. but god is not like this. He doesn't walk around with a swatter waiting for us to walk out of line so he was squash us. His love and understanding supersede all human understanding. The devil however uses this to his advantage by making us feel like prisoners to faith. Prisoners to what we assume is holy. Goodness I have been so wrong for so long. I am glad that through all the pain and suffering this past weekend that I made the journey anyways. I gained so much from what may have not happened had I given in to the obstacles placed in my path. Some things are worth fighting for and for me it's what I fight for that matter the most. If I dont have to suffer to gain something it usually gets forgotten in the long haul of things. That's just the way I am. Luvu also wanted us to stay another day so we werent dead tired driving back home. I agreed so we are staying one more night before driving back that long tedious drive. System is back to normal but energy and anemia have not. Bible study and closing service later in the evening was also full of teachings that I long forgot about.. I may not be rich in money but right now i'm rich in spirit!

6/26

2010-07-01T00:39:00.000-07:00

It's fkvahefonua!! There was not that many people this year but it was enough. We were fakataha with seattle for the last time. Dad announced today that he is gonna let seattle be exclusive of oregon for the first time! The tikoni and his 6 young kids made the drive down. Interesting, I wonder how the drive was for them?? I love that the neighbors are finally sick and tired which means our programs will end at decent times instead of the usual ohh dark early morning biz. Meleane's boy are enormous.. I feel like i'm walking in the land of dinosaurs I am like their puppet standing with them is very displeasing to my gentle nature. Today I introduced my family to in and out burger.. none of them have ever had it before. We have been going to CA for all this time and they had never had it.. hmmm so again I've introduced them to something they were probably better off not knowing! Nesi and ana are in town and caught the train and cal train into sunnyvale.

6/25

2010-07-01T00:34:00.000-07:00

It's haircut at wilson's today!! I love wilson's. I first went to sally's for a pedi and then to wilson's for a a haircut. Both were awesome. I enjoyed my morning a lot. This time I did this all on my own. Then it was off to the concrete park for leti, tane and I. They had a craved maze in the concrete center so we played. It took us a while to finally navigate to the middle. Then we raced around the park.. ok I raced once, while tane and leti raced a zillion times. We watched the clock tower that had these mechanical gadgets inside complete with balls and bells. But the ultimate high light would be the discovery of Tutti Frutti.. I love you tutti frutti!! Ako tohitapu tapu and seeing all the fam and friends was awesome.

6/24

2010-07-01T00:31:00.000-07:00

I am weak. I know this, I can feel this and i'm wiped. But I decide to get out and walk around. That is what we did all day today it wasn't a massive walk fest it was more like walk around the block. Go back to room and rest for a couple of hours. Go back outside in the warm sun and walk some more. It was a cycle and it was fun for me. By evening when rents went to bible study I went to room and slept. Leti and tane dont like it here much because it's really boring for them. Can't say that I blame them. We spent hours walking around in the new cute target this am. We bought all the fixing for food so we didn't have to eat out anymore. They had a wagon escalator it was super cool! I have come to love sunnyvale and it's lil town a lot.

6/23

2010-06-24T14:44:00.000-07:00

We stayed in the hotel till it was time to check out at 12. We finally left and made our way to cali. It took us forever but it was a nice drive. I was wearing a long sleeve tee and sweats and sneakers. It was warm.. but I still felt super comfortable. Which means i'm still not all perfect cause my family was hot as heck. We seen many sights and kept joking around all day. It was a comfortable drive. It took us about 8 hrs hours cause we stopped and all that mess. It was ok it was good family time. We checked into our rooms. Let me tell you it's just as gheeto as I remember. I swear it's the only time I will ever stay in some place like this! Goodness!! Of course this is my usual procedure when i come to places like this. I strip the bed and put my own bedding. Then I switch pillow cases. Wipe down the entire room with clorox. I tape the curtains to the wall. Then I use the hotels towels to wipe down all surface areas in the bathroom. I bring my own towels. Then I pull out the slippers which are always necessary here. So after that is all done it's about 10pm and i'm starving and need food to take the last of the pills. I order pizza hut. The damn pizza is burnt as hell as well. but ohh well we're hungry!! We're in Cali now and it feels good.

6/22

2010-06-24T14:26:00.000-07:00

So finally I packed all my things and leti's. it took me forever. By the time I was done packing everything I was drained. Me and leti sat in the car and waited for everyone. They took forever. We started our 5.5 hrs drive to kfalls where we were going to spend the nights. I wanted to only make half the trip at a time. Every jarring movement hurt. So that was the plan. We stopped at walmart and several rest area's. It took us like over 6 almost 7 hours to get there. This was the family's first time anywhere near kfalls. So it was nice to take them there. We checked in and we hung out. Dinner was turkey legs we got from walmart. It was a nice stay.

6/21

2010-06-24T14:16:00.001-07:00

Things seemed to have gone back to way it was prior to surgery which is not a good thing. I seen the doc again today. It was good to see him. He looked tired he was out all weekend on a vacation trip with his son. I was seeing his wife and another doctor. So he is going to allow me to go to cali. I spent about 2 hours in the office again. My case (as they put it) is unusual and a little difficult. So is my life story. I get more pills today. So it looks like i'm on 5 different things now. Hopefully it will help me get better. So it's more rest today, I went to target to get my prescription and let me tell you just to get to the pharmacy it sapped all my energy. I just sat on the bench for the hour it took to get my drugs. I vow THIS TIME to actually listen to the docs orders.

6/20

2010-06-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

It's fathers day! My father is a solid existence in my life. He is strong in faith, drive and ambition. He has taught me so much. As a child I was always afraid of my dad. My mom could "give me lickings" but that was ok the threat of "you wait till dad gets home" was so much more frightening. I knew dad was serious. I was dad's lil boy. He took me everywhere with him to work. I enjoyed every minute of it. My sister of course stayed home and was the priss. Life was good. As I get older and realize everything he has done not for me but for those around me I begin to wonder. How could I lead a life like his? I do not want to become my dad but what he stands for is something I strive to be. His conviction in god is unwavering although he is stubborn sometimes and refuses to hear the ultimate purpose for his life. I guess in that sense I am the same way. I was and am still a wondering soul I like to get into everything. He has and always will be my compass. Like in college, ohh too much galavanting for you now you get to go to this college and you better pass. =) Good times. Thank you dad for all you've done and continue to do. Ofa lahi atu!

6/19

2010-06-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

Testing started to show up at 5am. Blood work, every 2 hours blood pressure, oxygen, temp. I watched more t.v. and txted a bugged my fam. Then they took me down to pre operation. The anesthesiologist dr. sy was funny. He was a hyper tall asian. Not a very usual combination. My very very petite nurse who was super short was havnig a hard time keeping the wheels moving on the bed. My doc - Dr. Bird was no where to be seen and needed to be paged. She was in the doc's lounge watching t.v. We both complained how the channels could only go up and not down. They asked me on the cutting table what i thought.. I said this looks just like the scene from grey's anatomy!! =) They laughed and the doc's and nurses were cracking jokes.. like ones they shouldn't crack with patients but then again I have that effect on people. I bring out the worse honesty in people which I find even more amusing. hahah it was a morbidly fun group. Drugs took effect quickly this time which I found amazing.. i got a sticker today because i was a brave pup.. lol I was having too much fun. I demanded sponge bob too. They said brats only get one sticker. Surgery went well. I was transferred back to my room. I slept for a long time after. I kept getting checked on and the nurse said I better call her to come take me to the bathroom. I said ok.. the first time I tried to do it alone. such a bad idea it was like being drunk times 100. Minus the pain thanks to drugs. I feel sorry for nurses I kept having to apologize and they kept telling me to be quiet this is their job and it's ok. Still I feel bad. So i slept more and more my throat was dry and raw. it was horrible. My stinking pager was keeping me awake which i finally got to shut up. About 5 my nurse thea made me order some dinner. So i could finally eat. I got a sandwich. I scraffed that bad boy down no prob. then i paid for that with pain.. ouch. Did I mention i got a cookie because I was a good kid and some coffee. The water kills me. I got my papers and some drugs. They told me to stay long as I like. But finally @ 6 I called my rents to come pick me. I went home. Was planning on going to the movies with the sisters but some of the bumps on the way out of the hospital killed me so I stayed home. I ate like a cow at home. I thank god I am better sore but better.