Sleeping With the Laundry

Giving Thanks for Brothers and Sisters

2011-11-07T03:09:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a great time to cherish the bonds that make siblings so special. I grew up as one of five kids in a rural area of western Virginia where we had few neighbors. We mostly played amongst ourselves and looking back it was a huge blessing. We were very close.

My brothers and sisters have spread far and wide across the country and we try to meet annually for either Christmas or Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving, most of us met at Garrison, NY in my dad’s unrented rental house. Our children slept on the floors and we had a blast. On the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, we took the kids into New York City to see the Statue of Liberty and the Metropolitan Museum. When we first got out of the subway, we looked up. I saw a familiar-looking landmark. “Look kids!” I said pointing. “There’s the Empire State Building.” A man walking beside me looked too and said, “Chrysler Building.” “Look kids,” I said correcting myself. “It’s a New York City building.” My husband laughed.

In advance of the trip, we had spent a month reading “The Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler,” which takes place in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But because of all our sightseeing, we had only a few minutes to sprint through the Egyptian room before it closed. Later, I asked my kids if they’d enjoyed the museum. “Sure,” my daughter replied, “All 5 minutes of it.” It seems sarcasm starts as early as 8 years old these days.

Sightseeing aside, the best part of the holiday was spending time with my siblings, their kids and my Dad. We try to make sure our kids have a close relationship with their cousins. So they get a lot of play time together. One time, my son (a Cruise Ship Entertainment Director in the making) was trying to organize the cousins into a game of cops and robbers. “Sit down guys.” He said. “I’m in charge.” He is the oldest of the bunch. “But I’ve got a gun,” his younger cousin Jimmy replied. He had a point.

For my two, we work hard to make sure they have a strong bond too. We had some friends in Atlanta whose kids seemed to fight all the time and really, really not like each other. So, when my two fight or complain, I use my mother’s somewhat corny reprimand that I still remember, “Your sister is your best friend.” Or “Your brother is your best friend.” I use it a lot.

The other week, we asked my 12-year-old son babysit my daughter while we went out. I told him to make sure his sister went to bed at 9:00.

“Do I have to kiss her?” he asked. I paused. “Do you usually kiss her?” I asked. We’ve let him babysit a few times before. “Yes.” He said barely looking up from his Angry Birds like the pre-teen he is. So it seems, when we instructed him to put his sister to bed, he must follow exactly what we do and give her goodnight kiss on the forehead. Too sweet. I’m guessing he must also stand there and repeat “brush your teeth, brush your teeth, brush your teeth” over and over until she actually completes that task too.

Sadly, this year, I got together with my siblings an additional time in February, when we got the call that there was a 50% chance my dad’s might not make it after his emergency ceratoid artery operation. While there, we were allowed to go into the room one at a time and hold my dad’s hand while he slept. It was very hard to see my strong father barely hanging on from his stroke. One time, I remember coming out of that room feeling so low. Then in the waiting room, I saw the faces of my brothers and sisters, healthy, reassuring and strong. And I felt like it would be OK. Luckily, my dad survived those hours and is working on his recovery. But I kept that strong feeling of being blessed, of having someone who knows where I’m coming from. A home base. A best friend (or four). Mother was right after all.

What Not to Do When You Find a Lump in Your Breast

2011-10-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

October is a great month to think about breast health. Most women today know that breast self exams should be done monthly. Clinical exams yearly. And mammograms annually after age 40. I do my best to get my clinical exams every year around my birthday. Each time, I deeply fear they will find something, but 100% believe they won’t. That wasn’t the case last February.

As a person with dense fibrous breasts, I’ve got lots of bumps and lumps. So at my exam, when my OB/GYN told me I had a lump. I told her I have lots of lumps. “This one’s different,” she said and showing me where to feel. “See,” she said, “It’s not symmetrical on the other side.” I explained to her the deal. Every year I come in as scheduled, and every year she tells me I’m fine. “Not this time,” she said “I’m sending you to a specialist.”

“What type of a specialist?” I asked. Did she mean the oncologist, the cancer doctor?

“A breast doctor,” she replied.

“You mean an… oncologist?” I asked. She nodded. She wrote me a referral for a diagnostic mammogram and an appointment with the specialist. It was now after 5:00 on a Friday. Here are some “Don’ts” to learn from me:

Don’t freak out. The only things you can do at this point are to get seen and get care. Grouching out at people does not help. On the next working day, I held the phone in my hands and watched the clock until 9:00 a.m. when I could schedule my mammogram. The woman on the phone asked me question after question. Finally I blurted out, “You are stressing me out. All I know is I’ve got a lump and you are stressing me out. Let me talk to someone else.” Totally uncalled for on my part. She booked my appointment for Wednesday two days later.

Don’t miss a resource around you. Upon hanging up the phone, I made a b-line for Sabrina my co-worker who has had a double mastectomy. She is a health editor and a font of wisdom. She told me not to worry, most cases are false positives. Finding a lump is only the first part, then there’s needle biopsies and excise biopsies. And each stage, there’s a great chance you’ll find out you’re clear. Whew. Plus if you’re doing your exams yearly, you probably caught anything early. Making it to Wednesday just got easier.

Don’t think you are alone. My friend and co-worker Pam has had breast cancer, a double mastectomy and reconstructive surgery too. She recently told a funny story. We have a very frank boss. One day Pam and our boss were talking about Pam’s surgery. Our boss looked Pam’s new additions up and down. “So that’s the size you wanted?” our boss asked. Pam about died. But it makes a funny story.

Don’t skimp on your health, Mom. So my diagnostic mammogram said all was clear. My OB/GYN insisted I see the oncologist anyway. She’d recently lost an aunt to melanoma. The oncologist did a needle biopsy which showed no cancer, but needle biopsies are not 100% accurate. “OK,” I said as the oncologist told me the results, I’d had enough worry, “Go ahead and take the lump out now anyway.” But unlike a dermatologist who takes care of slicing up your skin, burning off cancers all in one appointment, an oncologist has to schedule surgery. And even though it’s “outpatient,” it’s pretty serious.

When I went in for pre-op, they put me in a puffy dressing gown that had warm air pumping through it to keep me comfortable during surgery. Yikes. I’d take a plain old dressing gown for a few dollars off the mega health care bill. When they wheeled me into surgery, it was really hard-core too like on the TV with a viewing window, surgery lights and tons of people in the room. They don’t take lumps lightly.

When all was said and done, the lump was completely benign. Ordeal over. Peace of mind restored. But I’m no hero. The heroes are those moms, daughters and sisters whose lumps aren’t clear. The survivors. The ones who wear the pink ribbons. It’s for them we need to walk and race for the cure.

Hot Air

2011-10-08T03:24:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I found a picture in a textbook of hot air balloons drifting over the Loire Valley in France. It was magical. For all my life, that picture has been lodged in my brain and I’ve longed to ride, just once, in a hot air balloon anywhere.

So when a half-off Groupon for a local hot air balloon ride popped into my inbox, I couldn’t forward it to my hubby fast enough. My gift this year was a wrapped print-out of a gift certificate for two to ride—a promise of adventure.

My dad’s stroke and our vacation took precedence and it was only recently that I was able to schedule it. But, we were in luck. The company was part of a hot air balloon competition and could take passengers on one of their other balloons. So we booked a sunrise flight for the day of the competition.

Over the phone, the receptionist and co-owner of the company Michelle read the disclaimer and instructions on what to wear, flat shoes and clothing for the same temperature as on the ground. Then she asked a few questions, “Would you like a Champaign toast at the end or grape juice?” That was easy. Champaign. Then came the toughie.

“What is your weight?” she asked.

“My weight?” I choked. She explained they needed to know to make sure the load was balanced. Darn. A crisis of integrity stood between me and my balloon ride. Do I tell the truth about and live? Or do I lie so I can look this total stranger in the eye someday because she doesn’t know my weight? Later, I explained this dilemma to my husband as we were about to get on the balloon.

“Well what did you say?” he asked. Clearly he wanted to live too.

“I gave my weight as my perfect weight and added the difference to yours.” I replied.

“So you netted the truth,” he said and nodded appreciatively.

The day of the flight we met at 6:00 a.m. at a hotel off the highway. The parking lot was filled with chase vehicles and balloon baskets on trailers. There were donuts and coffee in the lobby (seems balloonists don’t have to be light after all) and a scurry of activity as companies met their passengers. The pilots were in a conference room getting the briefing on the conditions. Our hostess and co-owner Michelle took us outside to prep us for the ride by the van.

In minutes, she said when the briefing was done, pilots and crews would fly out of the conference room into their cars and take off for nearby fields. This was serious balloon business. The winner of this competition automatically qualified for the Big Dance, the Albuquerque International Balloon Fiesta. We learned it’s not a race for speed but for accuracy. Points are awarded based on how close each team gets their beanbag to three targets. Suddenly, the place sprang to life. Over 30 balloonists piled into cars and took off.

Our crew looked at a map and we drove to a farm nearby. After knocking on the door and confirming it was alright, we unpacked the balloons and started filling them with fans. The competition balloon was up and off in 10 minutes. We waved as our hostess and her husband pilot floated away like the Wizard of Oz.

Then we were up, up and away in our beautiful, our beautiful balloon. And yes that song is tough to get out of your head while you in one. Our first minutes off the ground were scary and I gripped the basket like it was my lifeline (and it was). Soon we were over the farmhouse whose yard we had borrowed. I gripped harder. It was a new sensation to be silently flying like a bird above the trees. Then, as we got higher I saw a rainbow of balloons filling up in the fields below. In the skies in front, more balloons floated together in the rising mist. It was beautiful. I let go of my grip. I was flying.

They say your first balloon ride is the cheapest. The second ride will cost you $10,000 as you’ll probably want to buy a balloon. That was true. By the time we safely touched down two hours later and had our Champaign toast, I had dreams of opening a balloon company over the valley where I grew up in Virginia. The team, however, joked that the way to make a million in ballooning is to start with two million. So, unless a balloon lands in my yard with a basket full of money, I guess those dreams will have to wait.

The Land Before Text

2011-08-27T04:16:00.000-07:00

My friend Ann and I were talking about kids and technology the other day.

"If you would have told kids 10 years ago that in the future they would type all their conversations with their friends, they would have thought you were crazy," she said.

It seems her son Nick is texting up a storm with his pals. Ann was sharing her conversation with Nick on the subject.

Curious about the murky, distant past, Nick had asked, "How did you talk to your friends before there was texting, did you just email each other all the time?"

Check Out This Neat New Site: Infozooms!

2011-08-17T18:05:00.000-07:00

Mother with Moxie Elizabeth Zoom created the site InfoZooms. After 7 months of exhausting work, her site is up and ready for your content and reviews. If you're a writer, check it out and add a list.

Just like to read? Try the parenting topics. Or also the personal finance tips. It's really fun.

Here's a link to a cute list on getting your kids to help with chores! http://www.infozooms.com/Lists/ListDetails.aspx?rid=97&cid=16

Rock on sister!

Better Babysitters Will Have to Wait

2011-08-16T03:49:00.000-07:00

My son recently went to a Better Babysitters class through our local recreation center.
His first day home from class, I asked, "What did you learn?"

"Mom," he replied, "You don't want to know."

"Try me."

"Well," he said, "Babies can throw up on you. And they can drown if you leave them alone in a tub. In one inch of water, they can drown."

I agreed that was pretty scary.

"And you don't want to hold babies upside down." Good to know he's learning. I thought I'd pry further and asked why not.

"Because they can poop on you."

"Any other reason you don't hold them upside down?"

He thought for a while. "No, it's just that they can poop on you."

He made his flyer for marketing his babysitter service around town. NO BABIES it said in big letters. Good to know your limits.

Back to School's Not Looking So Bad

2011-08-06T03:04:00.000-07:00

My step mother Susie tells a story about her Grandson, Jarred. He’d been enjoying a half day preschool for years. The night before his first big day of Kindergarten, his mom informed him it was an all day class.

“That’s not going to work for me,” he said. His mom laughed and sent him anyway.

So it goes with back to school. Sometimes there are big fears, but then most kids seem to like it when they get there. And what’s not to like? There are tons of kids, really nice teachers (much nicer than me, the mom) and playground equipment. Plus, you get to learn stuff. Here are some thoughts on back to school in this season of change.

The Smartest Girls in the Room

My daughter does not lack for self confidence. One summer day a few years ago, my daughter and her friend Natalie were riding in the car with Natalie’s mom. They had been together in Kindergarten and were discussing first grade placement. Natalie was worried they might get split up into different classrooms.

“Don’t worry,” my daughter said, “They keep the smart girls together.” Natalie’s mom kept the front-seat fly-on-the-wall-mom code of silence and didn’t laugh. She reported it to me later with a huge chuckle. I wasn’t sure if I should be horrified by my daughter’s lack of tact or proud of her pride. As of this writing, we are still working on the humility thing. Daily.

I Told You So

My friend Mo had a similar story. Her son was doing his kindergarten assessment—cause for much anxiety in many moms. He wanted to waive his test because, as he told his teacher, “I’m smart.”

After a few questions and answers, the teacher complemented him on getting so many right. “See,” he said, “I told you I was smart.” Mo has some humility challenges as well.

School Supply Scavenger Hunt

This time of year also brings the mad scramble to fill the darned-elusive school supply list. Do teachers add wacky things to these lists for fun? Last year, I went to 5 stores looking for an “8 pocket portfolio.” No such thing. Five pocket? Sure, plenty of them. Seven pocket? No problem, lots to choose from including designs from a fluffy kitten to Justin Bieber. (Or is that the same thing?). Eight pocket? No store had even heard of them. So I sent my kid to school without one. I guessed this had been some sort of a test for parents. The teacher sent him home with one with his name written on it. So began another year of parent-teacher associations.

Another item on his list was a water bottle. He needed a new one after a long summer of setting them everywhere but in the dishwasher. When I finally found them, they were crazily priced $9.99. It’s an empty bottle for goodness sakes. All of the choices in front of me were proudly labeled “NO BPA.” Good for them. I told my husband I’d take a couple of BPAs for a lower price. He didn’t think that was funny.

Men and School Duty

This time of year also brings the open house meetings where parents get to sit in tiny chairs for an hour. One year, I was delighted to see my husband had signed up to bring cookies to a Halloween party. Sadly though when the appointed week arrived, he asked, “Can you pick those up for me?” Oh well.

On another occasion, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to pick up my lunch room duty that day. At lunch, kids raise their hands and the parents help them open packages, put cream cheese on bagels or wrestle with ketchup wrappers. One boy, Isaac Byrnes, a worldly-wise classmate of my daughter’s, needed help with a juice box. My husband stopped over and as a joke said, “Shall I call you Isaac or Mr. Byrnes?” “Mr. Byrnes will due,” he answered. My husband mentally gave him the most-likely-to-get-in-trouble-later-in-life award.

Growing and Learning

It’s amazing to see how they grow from the start of a school year to the end. One day my daughter said to me, “I don’t tattletale anymore.” Of course I probed for more info. She continued. “I used to want everything to be just right so I tattletaled. But it hurts people’s feelings. So now I don’t do it anymore.”

Good life lessons from school don’t always come from books. Welcome to another school year.

Flubbing the Teachable Moment

2011-07-23T03:59:00.000-07:00

We had our friends the Kennedy Family over to play cards. Typically the kids run off and play. But this night they were hanging around the kitchen like we had aprons with strings attached to them or something. I think they were a bit wiped out from summer.

Anyway we decided to play Sequence, our favorite game. Well my daughter was talkative. Very talkative. She was excited as they are good friends of ours and I think a bit over sugared.

After our friends were gone, I thought I'd grab the teachable moment in the quiet moments of tucking my daughter into bed. I shared that she may have monopolized the conversation a bit and explained to her how it's polite to let other people talk.

"You can save it, Mom," my daughter said. "Dad already talked to me and he said it much nicer." Ooops. Teachable moment there too.

What I (Didn't) Learn at the Jr. Police Academy

2011-06-22T03:53:00.000-07:00

My son is going to a Junior Police Camp. It's really cool. They get to learn about things like bomb squads, bike patrols, K-9 dogs and more.

After his first day of camp, we asked how it went. "Great," he replied, "We learned about surveillance."

We probed further and asked what that meant.

"It's when you get to TASER people."

"Oh," we replied. "Are you sure, surveillance means you TASER people?"

He seemed a little uncertain. "Or you can shoot them," he added. Luckily it's a whole week of camp that he gets to get these concepts down.

Celebrating You Mom! Happy Mother's Day FREE App Friday

2011-05-06T03:53:00.000-07:00

It's FREE App Friday -- The Mother's Day Edition. Sleeping with the Laundry is FREE all day! Happy Mother's Day to you Mom. I know what you're going through and kudos to you.

Plus check out all these other great specials on www.momswithapps.com. Awesome mom and app developer Lorraine is running a fab site all about family-friendly apps and super cool moms who develop them. Check it out and get some of these specials!

ChorePad – What is your app about? Chore Pad and Chore Pad HD are fantastic for helping organize the family chores around the house. It is much more useful than regular chore charts. You can assign chores to specific family members and chart their progress. Chores can be repeated or assigned to any number of people. Use rewards to motivate kids or reluctant house mates! Chore Pad HD also works very well in other settings. Roommate situations, classrooms with and without special needs, and even adult home environments can all easily take advantage of this app.

Be Confident in Who You Are – What is your app about? Be Confident in Who You Are is based on Book 1 of the award-winning Middle School Confidential™ series written by teen expert Annie Fox, illustrated by Matt Kindt, and published by Free Spirit Publishing. This graphic novel app enables readers to zoom right into the story world. With beautiful full-color illustrations and richly layered audio made up of movie-like sound effects and music, Be Confident will be a sure-fire hit with 8-14 year olds. (Even those who don’t like to read!) As a bonus for parents and teachers, this app puts thought-provoking entertainment and solutions into the hands of teens who deal with these personal issues every day. It’s likely to challenge teens to think about their emotions and behavior in new ways and encourage them to make more respectful, cooperative choices at school and at home.

Cinderella Puzzle Book – What is your app about? Cinderella Puzzle Book is the timeless classic story book with 25 pages of manga art illustrations. Options of text highlighting, narration and auto page flipping make it easy and enjoyable for a wide range of children. Parents can also record their own voice for the narration! Mini games are sprinkled throughout the book to engage the reader. The interactive jigsaw puzzles improve the child’s shape recognition ability. The search and matching of “hidden crowns” improve color matching ability. The coloring game is simple fun to look at! The goal is to let the reader feel engaged while reading an e-book and also to improve shape and coloring matching ability along the way. Axion Logic is also promoting their other titles this App Friday, so look out for the Prince Bear and Pauper Bear, along with the HD versions – FREE and specially priced on the App Store!

Play Phone – What is your app about? Play Phone is an educational app for your toddler that lets him/her learn about colors, alphabets, numbers, vehicles and identify who is who in the family. Identifying someone in the family screen is highly customizable and that makes this app unique. You can use the pictures from your album or use the camera of your device to take pictures of your family members and use them in the app right away. You can also record your own voice to quiz your child to identify the picture.

What’s in it for me this App Friday, May 6th?

Chore Pad - $.99

Chore Pad HD – $1.99

Be Confident in Who You Are: Middle School Confidential - $.99

Cinderella Puzzle Book - $.99

Prince Bear & Pauper Bear – FREE

Play Phone - FREE

KinKast Video Sharing - always FREE

Sleeping With The Laundry (parenting stories from columnist Margee Moore) – FREE

Has Your Kid Got Star Potential? Or Anyway Just Want to Meet Other Moms?

2011-05-05T03:06:00.000-07:00

If you live near Cincinnati, friend Drew is working on a photo shoot for some super-fun educational toys. Kids Age 3 -5 are needed for the photo shoot.

Here's the Details:

Friday, May 13, 2011

9:30 am to 3:30 pm

Come and play, as short or as long as you like. Foster Memorial Field aka Grove Park in Wyoming, Ohio.

Map / Directions at http://www.mclandrichconsulting.com/

It’s simple!

The children play. The photographers photograph. Kid's need to wear any color except white or black. Over 40 educational toys will be set up all over the field. Sounds like fun. Healthy refreshments, provided.

To learn more and sign-up: www.mclandrichconsulting.com

or call Drew McLandrich (513) 706-2942

You get copies of any photos you like. Plus here's the kicker. If you get 10 kids to come, you get one of these awesome xylophones free!

It's That Time of Year Again - The Peep Show

2011-04-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

My Legacy in Living Color

2011-04-12T03:52:00.000-07:00

Once when my daughter was young, her preschool teacher praised her work saying, “How’d you get so smart?”

“My dad gave me brains,” she replied.

The teacher thought this funny and asked, “What did your mom give you?”

“Dresses,” my daughter replied.

At least I'll be remembered for something.

One Phone Call from Our Knees

2011-03-04T04:06:00.000-08:00

There's this song on the radio "Closer to Love" about how we're all one phone

call from our knees. We all know it. Why would anyone sing about it?

A few weeks ago on a Wednesday, I was at work when I got a phone call from my brother Matt. Dad had had a minor stroke Tuesday night, but everything was okay. He'd been out in Vancouver on business. At dinner with co-workers, his side had gone numb. He'd been unable to find the words he wanted to say. His friends had recognized the signs of stroke and rushed him to the hospital. Now, the next day, he had his words back.

I called my dad from my desk. We had a conversation. I heard his voice. He reassured me it was all fine. No need to come up. His wife Susie was on the way. But he still had trouble still finishing his sentences. I worried, but didn't get on a plane.

The next day, Susie arrived. I guess on that day it became hard for him to find words again. His condition was getting worse, but he didn't get that out to us. He may have been afraid. He and Susie met with a doctor. His carotid artery was 90% blocked. This was Friday. The doctors recommended surgery right away. I talked with Dad again on the phone. He still said no need to come. He was comfortable with the doctors. He decided to have the surgery, carotid endarterectomy (CEA).

While in the surgery, some plaque broke free and my dad had a major stroke. His arteries were very clogged. The doctor had never seen one so clogged before. The doctor did his best. We got the call on Saturday night. The surgery had not gone well. There was a 10 - 20 % chance his brain might swell, which is terminal. We could lose our dad. I got on a plane.

In Vancouver, my dad slept in recovery while we waited to see if swelling would or would not happen. Thankfully, his brain didn't swell. But his speech might be forever impaired and his right side was now numb. He might not walk again. So much lost.

And yet, there's a bright side. My dad is lucky to be alive. My dad runs around the country and world at 100 mph. He loves his work and doesn't stop for long to take care of his health. So truly, he's lucky to have these years. A chance for some time to enjoy life, his grand kids, his music he loves, art and more. He's lucky to have a chance to get it all back, his speech, maybe even walk. Time will tell. Because though his speech is limited, he is still the same guy. He smiles at the same jokes and is interested in the same news, stories and music as before. My dad is there. He just can't talk. Not yet.

Here's What I Learned That I'd Like to Share

I've noticed Dad makes time with each kid.

Make Time Every Time
In December my dad had been in town on business. It was a Friday and his work was done. He had some time before he was scheduled to fly back to Charleston. I had to go to work. I was out of vacation for the year. We talked about going to see the trains at the Museum Center in Cincinnati, a fantastic display he would love. Instead, we'd go in March when he was here again. I'd have vacation time then. Damn.
Lesson Learned: Take your sick days in life. Work will be there.

Check Up on Your Parent's Health
Dad had mentioned he'd been in for some MRIs because he was having shortness of breath. But in our family, we don't really talk about our health. So we never discussed it. But sometimes all it takes is a nudge, someone with a suggestion. Lesson Learned: Stop and sit down with your parents and talk about their health. Ask them if they are getting the screenings they should get at their age. You may not know a lot, but you may have different knowledge then them. Find out what's bothering them and do a little research.

Know Your Family's Health History

My dad's mom had "hardening of the arteries." So for us, our kids, and Dad that means it's in our genes. Having a vague idea of your family history is not enough, it's like shutting your eyes to a big fat overhead sign on the highway. If it impacted them, it can impact you and your kids. Here's an article on how to do just that: Will You Inherit Your Family's Health

When the Call Comes Drop Everything
When it's a stroke. Just go. What can it hurt? Sure he could have been back to work the next day. But just go. Say hello. Why not? Work will wait. Your spouse will be glad to pitch in and run the family a while. You'd do the same for him. You married him because he's that guy. Just go.

So, I'm hopeful and optimistic. Much was lost. But there's time for recovery. Dad's really type A. So if anyone will be walking again, it's him. He'll have years with his grandkids, time to go to concerts and enjoy his home in Charleston. He's lucky. God wanted him to slow down and enjoy life.

So back to the song. I've recently read another interpretation. It's that we're one phone call from being brought to a place of prayer. One call from waking up to the fragility of life. From seeing the world as it is. A brief gift. It's good to love your work. Life's too short not to do what you love. But life is fleeting. Make time for the trains.

Book Recommendation and Menu: The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

2011-01-27T03:29:00.000-08:00

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake
by Aimee Bender

Really enjoyed this refreshing and nourishing novel. It's very different about a girl who tastes the emotions of the chef in food. Can't wait to read more by this author as it's never what you expect at any turn in the book.

Sad and bitter sweet.

Well worth reading. Try it for your book club.

We're reading it for our club. I'm planning on making an assortment of cakes for our meeting. Of course a lemon cake, and maybe a chocolate cake too because of that frosting on the cover. I have an urge to attempt something like a coconut cake as well.

On the menu for the meeting will also be Onion Soup which played a pivotal role in the main character Rose's recovery. Also Oreos should play a starring role in our menu or other vending food items. Still thinking about which ones would be best.

Got a cake recipe you would recommend? I'm newish to cake making.

From Publishers Weekly

Taking her very personal brand of pessimistic magical realism to new heights (or depths), Bender's second novel (following An Invisible Sign of My Own) careens splendidly through an obstacle course of pathological, fantastical neuroses. Bender's narrator is young, needy Rose Edelstein, who can literally taste the emotions of whoever prepares her food, giving her unwanted insight into other people's secret emotional lives—including her mother's, whose lemon cake betrays a deep dissatisfaction. Rose's father and brother also possess odd gifts, the implications of which Bender explores with a loving and detailed eye while following Rose from third grade through adulthood. Bender has been called a fabulist, but emerges as more a spelunker of the human soul; carefully burrowing through her characters' layered disorders and abilities, Bender plumbs an emotionally crippled family with power and authenticity. Though Rose's gift can seem superfluous at times, and Bender's gustative

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

How Was Your Day?

2011-01-24T03:28:00.000-08:00

My friend Katie has a daughter in preschool. The other day she asked her, "How was your day, sweetie?"

"Awesome," Jackie replied.

"Wow, what was so great about it?" Katie asked.

"I only cried a few times," Jackie replied. Seems she's working to adjust to school.

Skinny Jeans are a State of Mind

2011-01-11T03:15:00.000-08:00

Fitness Inspiration for the New Year

The New Year is a time to turn our thoughts to fitness and renewal. There’s fresh hope that this will be the year we look our best. Sadly, the older we get the fewer calories it takes to run our bodies—making this goal all the less likely.

So here’s a New Year choice: Give it up now and save on the gym membership. Or dig deep and challenge yourself to try something new.

I’ve heard that as a woman over 40, I need to cut my calories in half to maintain my weight. And that’s just to maintain. My friend Dawn took this to heart and asked her OB/GYN if it was true.

“No” her OB/GYN said. Dawn breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s 2/3 less calories. You have to eat 2/3 less to maintain.”

Dawn has lived in Paris and knows a thing or two about fine wine, delectable cheese and tasty bread. “2/3 less” isn’t on her menu. She decided to fight back and hired a personal trainer to help her prepare for a half marathon this spring. An admirable thing for anyone, but especially for Dawn as she’d never run before in her life. Not once.

For me, it’s been a Godsend. I’ve been lumbering along trying to become a gym person, someone who gets out at lunch, sweats it out, showers and goes about my day. But my workout partner moved back east. So, half of the time I’d end up at the gym, the other half at the Chic-fil-a right nearby. The Chic-fil-a was just so much easier. I didn’t even have to get out of my car.

So when Dawn asked if I’d run a 5K with her, I jumped at the chance. It was fall and the holiday pounds were on the horizon (make that on the lips, soon to be the hips). At our first 5K, I thought my lungs would explode. Seems lifting the Chic-fil-a isn’t such a good workout after all. But I finished. Mostly because I was too embarrassed not to.

The next month we signed up for a second race. This time I actually got out and ran a bit beforehand. (Not looking foolish can be a strong motivator.) We weren’t the fastest but not the slowest either. While we ran it occurred to me that she’s been looking good from all this training so I asked.

“Are you in your skinny jeans?”

She nodded. I was filled with happiness for my friend, but a touch of jealousy too.

At the booths after the race, we met a soccer player who started her own fitness hat company. She designed these hood-looking (in a good way) hats that have space for your ponytail and a brim to keep out the rain. Her company motto is “Wear Your Confidence.” She was inspired by her dad’s dedication to overcome heart disease and teach his children to find their passion. We both bought hats. Inspired by her we decided to start a running club and reached out to a few moms.

That following Saturday our friend Alissa met us for a run at the local coffee shop. It’s not a really a club yet but it’s a start. We chatted and the miles flew past. Before I knew it we’d run 3 miles. As I stepped off the curb to leave my new “group”, I passed an acquaintance MaryAnn. She is a beautiful former ballerina who always walks with grace. I felt as beautiful as her. I was walking tall and wearing my confidence — plus feeling a little high again from running.

It comes down to the cheering.

It’s about encouraging each other on and helping each other out. My really unique, strong and wonderful Aunt Ellen who is a nun makes an annual habit of cheering on runners for the NYC Marathon. This year, my sister Monica joined her at her usual spot in Harlem. The runners wear their names on their shirts so Monica and Aunt Ellen cheered things like, “Go Bob, you’re doing great.” Or “Yea, Janet, you’ve come so far!” And so on. My sister said it was a beautiful thing to see their faces light up in appreciation.

Inspired by Dawn, I’ve decided to train for the half marathon this spring too. And it’s not just the desire to cheer on my friend. My motivations are shallow too: I’ve never seen a marathon type who isn’t lean and jogging just makes me feel high. I may not fit my skinny jeans yet. But I’m walking tall and wearing my confidence more and more. Skinny jeans don’t have to be literal. They can also be a state of mind. And I’m living in them no matter my size.

Margee is an advertising copywriter and mother of two. Her collection “Sleeping With the Laundry” is available on the iPhone, iPod Touch and now the iPad too.

Good Things On So Many Levels: Nature Sweet Ambassador Application Ends Soon

2011-01-08T04:49:00.000-08:00

When I hear about something good I like to share it. NatureSweet tomatoes is looking for ambassadors for it's mission for good project. It's like the American Express Members Project but with holistic eating and good natural foods at the core. Here's the thing they want you to promote good things in your own corner of the world and it's a paid ambassadorship. Yes there's a stipend.

Think about having some funds to put towards your own project for good the things you'd like to see in your community. Pretty cool. To apply visit the site and click on the button on the lower right. They extended the program but you've got to apply by January 14!

Here's another good thing. As a writer, I'm taken and in love with this site. http://www.naturesweettomatoes.com/

It's great copy. Great design and a lovely concept. Best of all it feels authentic and true. Like Smuckers, here are people are really just out there trying to make the best things they can for other people. So if this sounds like you apply. Let's keep promoting good companies doing good things. Read on their site about fair wages and more.

About the Program From Nature Sweet
We’re starting an ambassador movement in the name of good – whether it’s eating well or doing good for others in your corner of the world. And we’re starting it in four cities, including Cincinnati. Specifically, we are looking for one lead brand ambassador from your area to join the national conversation, lead a community of kindred spirits, share their thoughts and represent what NatureSweet and “On a Mission From Good” is all about. If you or anyone you know are fans of NatureSweet – or even if they aren’t, but have a heart for doing good - you can read more about this program and sign-up here for an opportunity to become an official brand ambassador: http://www.naturesweettomatoes.com/

You got us. We’re asking for your help. Let’s face it, you know people. Us? We know tomatoes. Yep, those juicy little tomatoes in the red netting or bright yellow domed cup. You see them in your grocery store year-round and conveniently pick them up for a perfect snack, a lively addition to a salad or as a final touch to a recipe. That’s right, we’re talking about NatureSweet tomatoes. There’s more to these tasty little tomatoes than you might think. It’s called “On a Mission from Good.”

We all have our own personal missions from good. At NatureSweet, it’s always been about “doing the right thing” with regard to our products, our people and the environment - including a goal to be the Best Company to Work For in Mexico. Progress has already been made, including significant gains in salaries, bonuses and benefits for its year-round workforce.

But enough about that. Here’s the part where we ask for your help.

We’re starting an ambassador movement in the name of good – whether it’s eating well or doing good for others in your corner of the world. And we’re starting it in four cities, including Cincinnati. Specifically, we are looking for one lead brand ambassador from your area to join the national conversation, lead a community of kindred spirits, share their thoughts and represent what NatureSweet and “On a Mission From Good” is all about. If you or anyone you know are fans of NatureSweet – or even if they aren’t, but have a heart for doing good - you can read more about this program and sign-up here for an opportunity to become an official brand ambassador. (There’s even a handy-dandy graphic below that I’m happy to attach and send your way if you’d like to include it in a blog post.)

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And let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t about buying or selling more tomatoes. It’s the beginning of something bigger than that. At our heart, we are a company of people. People dedicated to doing good. We just happen to grow some tasty tomatoes. Please help us find those people in your community who share our passion. Please contact me for more information at 512-495-7185 or via email.

An Early Christmas Casualty

2010-12-22T05:09:00.001-08:00

A belt buckle that couldn't take the holiday pressure. Hmmm. Wordless
Wednesday.

Shopping My Way to World Peace This Holiday Season

2010-12-21T04:44:00.000-08:00

The holidays are a wonderful excuse to hit the mall and the specialty boutiques of town. Plus, there’s nothing like a holiday market, church bazaar or art show for one-of-a-kind gifts. Finding a special necklace, bowl or sweater is such a treat, wherever you find it. And the searching is magical too, getting out with the crowd and seeing all the beautiful things people dream up.

I believe in buying American-made and locally as much as possible. But as the holidays are swiftly approaching, I’m finding myself drawn to the internet to wrap up the season. Here’s why.

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?

My son has been studying Economic Interdependency in 5th Grade Social Studies. Truly, I believe it’s the study of World Peace, though trust a 5th grade textbook to make even “shopping” seem dull. By definition, it’s about how each region can’t make all the things it needs and has to trade with other regions. For example Ohio has crops and minerals but no oranges (or huge overcrowded theme parks), Florida has the opposite problem. So we’re interdependent, we have to purchase goods from each other.

DIY Design

In reality it’s much more fascinating; it’s the study of world peace one light fixture at a time. I’m no Domestic Diva. But I do occasionally dabble in trying to make my house look nice. When I was young, my heart was set on a Mushroom room, with toadstool seating and grass carpeting to carry out the theme.

Luckily, my mother never gave in to my whims. As an adult, I’ve decided on a Moroccan/Egyptian influenced bedroom, something exotic to spice up, um, the walls. I think I got the idea from the one HGTV Rate My Space episode I caught this year. Who says TV isn’t educational?

To carry out this theme idea, I started with a backdrop of rich burnt amber on the walls. I added Asian touches like mosaic-styled throw pillows and tropical potted plants. OK, only the two touches so far and I found them at Pier One. But it’s a start.

For lighting, I wanted something dramatic. But the 1001 lighting books at Home Depot yielded nothing. And the antique stores certainly are fond of their prices. On a whim, I googled “Asian Light Fixtures.” Or maybe Middle Eastern. (5th grade Social Studies hasn’t covered where exotic light fixtures come from yet.) Of all places, eBay came up.

Through eBay, I found and ordered this amazing looking Moroccan Star from this place Click2Egypt. Yeah, sure it’s Egypt, I thought, more like Egypt,Ohio. But after someone named Zahereen emailed that it would be 21 days to ship, I thought maybe.

Sure enough, the box arrived from Cairo, the real one. Complete with squiggly lettering. Amazing. Because of the internet, a woman just like me, in Egypt was able to ship me my perfect light fixture. And I was able to send her Yankee greenbacks via PayPal. And that’s the story of world peace, because how can we go around warring with each other when we’re so linked.

Desperately Seeking Decent Skirts

Early in my holiday shopping, I decided my daughter needed some winter skirts. I started at the large department store. But the clothes for 8 year-olds were all black and white, rock star and trampy. Call me crazy but I’d like my kids to look like kids, not Madonna circa 1980. (Madonna doesn’t even want to look like that anymore.) After a dedicated hunt, I came home and got on the computer. A few clicks later I found, ordered and PayPal’d colorful skirts of sufficient length from Land’s End and Hannah Anderson. Skirts: Done. Avid Online Shopper: Born.

Though I wouldn’t miss the rush of holiday shopping and Black Friday for anything, I’m heading online to round out my list. And I won’t just shop locally, I’ll shop the nation and the world. In Egypt, I hope my pal Zahereen is doing the same, getting her coffee from Turkey, her nutcrackers from Germany, her shampoo, Tide and toothpaste from the US and her oranges from Florida. Because when we all depend on each other for the things we love, how can there be anything but World Peace? Happy Holidays.

What's your favorite purchase this holiday season? Did you find something special and unique?

Is That French?

2010-12-09T16:19:00.000-08:00

My friend Julia plays cards with her kids. And they all enjoy the bluffing game called Bull Sh** but instead of saying bull sh**, they always say BS.

One day, Julia was really caught up in the game.

She made a mistake and shouted out "Bull Sh**" and not BS.

Her youngest son looked at her and asked, "Is that French?"

If They are Just Wearing Underwear is it Really a Fashion Show?

2010-12-01T03:20:00.000-08:00

No. It's not really a fashion show if they are only wearing underwear and wings. Must be sweeps week.

I was talking at work with my friends and co-workers Ann and Mark. I think there is something very powerful in Victoria's Secret's "Hello, Bombshell" campaign. The way the in-store posters seem to speak directly to you. Making it seem as if you too could be a bombshell if only you shopped at Victoria's secret. Very powerful and empowering campaign. Not sure I'm for the “fashion show” though. Seems a little exploitive.

This conversation, however, may have inspired Mark's Halloween costume for next year. Sounds like he's going to get similar garb and tattoo "Hello Bombshell" on his mid section. Good luck with that.

Holiday travel with kids tip #9

2010-11-28T18:08:00.001-08:00

Enjoy the Views

This is a pretty darned awesomely beautiful land of ours. Appreciate
the late fall color, the browns and ambers of waving grass, the bright
pinks of sunsets and the majestic hills and vast farms. Drink in the
smiles and stories of your family. Point out the sites to them. Makes
it all the more enjoyable.

Hope your holidays are blessed and safe.

Holiday travel with kids tip #8

2010-11-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

Pack healthy snacks. If that fails, get the snack size of chips and
split. Apples travel really well. Bonus tip: stop often. Enjoy the
sites. Betcha you were looking for one of these.

Holiday Travel With Kids Tip #7

2010-11-23T12:25:00.000-08:00

Play car verbal games

We have played iSpy, person place or thing, and ABC bingo. Download a
list of these.

Goodness Pennsylvania is a long state.