Bashful Scandinavian

Pentecostal Wisconsin - The screenplay

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 15:10:00 +0000

My director Virginia Scott and I have been developing a screenplay version of the "Pentecostal Wisconsin" solo play for the last year and half or so. This past Saturday we had a reading of the screenplay with a very small invited audience. It was an informal, see our work-in-progress type event. It has been challenging to figure out how to adapt a solo show in which I speak directly to the audience into a screenplay with multiple actors who don't address the camera. There are things that are much easier to convey in a screenplay than they are on stage and vice versa. The other challenge is to avoid "overwriting" the story in the adaptation for the screen. On stage, most everything is communicated by the words that are spoken, especially in a show like mine that doesn't have a lot of visual elements. How do Virginia and I write enough so that the story is clear while still leaving room for the story to be told visually. It's difficult. And since we both have backgrounds in theatre, not film, the challenge is greater. Of course, the biggest obstacle once we have a draft that we are happy with is to try and get someone interested in it and to someday get it produced. That is a daunting task. I am bracing for a process that may well take 10 years. But even if we have to max out credit cards or shoot it on a cell phone camera, I want to get this film made (though it would be nice for it to be a real movie in a real theatre, wouldn't it)? Thanks to all who read at the reading and those who gave feeback. -Ryan

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #12 - May 29, 2007 - Jesus in Montana, An Interview with Barry Smith

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Tue, 29 May 2007 23:59:00 +0000

An interview with Barry Smith, writer and performer of the one-man stage comedy Jesus in Montana. The show is a true story about Barry's time as a member of a religious cult whose members believed that Jesus had in fact returned and taken up residence in Montana. Barry and I met last year at the St. Ambroise Montreal Fringe Theatre Festival, but because of our performing schedules neither of us managed to see the other's show. However, last week at the Orlando International Fringe Theatre Festival, I finally managed to catch his show. It was absolutely fascinating and lived up to it's billing. A couple days later, I recorded this interview with Barry.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #11 - May 6, 2007 - My Father

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 07 May 2007 01:56:00 +0000

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #10 - April 29, 2007 - The Other Ryan Paulson

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sun, 06 May 2007 12:53:00 +0000

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #9 - April 22, 2007 - The Dangers of Rock and Roll

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 03:12:00 +0000

Growing up in a pentecostal church, music was a big part of my life. I was constantly reminded that while Christian music drew me closer to God, "secular rock and roll" could put me on the path to hell. In this. episode I talk about both kinds of music and even play a few songs that used to be my favorites. Thanks for listening! Ryan

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #8 - April 15, 2007 - Jeopardy for Jesus

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sun, 15 Apr 2007 23:44:00 +0000

I talk about my experiences in pentecostal church Bible quizzing, which is a lot like the game show Jeopardy. Except this would be more like Jeopardy for Jesus. Originally invented by my pentecostal denomination of the Assemblies of God, it was intended to help get kids excited about learning Bible verses. However, like much of what my church did, it was a little odd. Or very odd. Appropriate for a church where people spoke in tongues. Thanks for listening! Ryan

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #7 - April 8, 2007 - Royal Rangers

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:54:00 +0000

Please note the name change. Formerly the Bashful Scandinavian Podcast," it will now be called the "Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast." Sorry for the confusion. No need to resubscribe. Everything is the same, minus the name change. I hope you enjoy it. In this episode, I discuss my time in Royal Rangers, which is basically like being in the Pentecostal Boy Scouts. We learned about tying knots, how to build things with wood and how to camp. The most exciting project was building cars to race in the Pinewood Derby. All of these activities were supposed to be done with an eye towards learning about Jesus. While the boys did Royal Rangers, the girls spent time in Missionettes, presumably learning how to cook and sew. It was very 1950's. Boys hunt and fish, girls clean and cook.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #6 - April 1, 2007 - Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses and Signs from God

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 12:15:00 +0000

In this episode I discuss a flier I received from the Jehovah's Witnesses, how I beat my Mormon Neighbors at their own game. Finally, I talk about some very interesting signs from God. Thanks for listening. -Ryan

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #5 - March 25, 2007 - God's Got an Army

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 23:02:00 +0000

In this episode I discuss the time I served in God's army as I child. I also talk about the little known Pentecostal deity of Aunt Dorothee. Finally, I mention judgmental bumper stickers and give my suggestion for my own bumper stickers. This show also includes renditions of I May Never March in the Infantry and Onward Christian Soldier. Thanks for listening.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast Episode #4 - March 18, 2007 - Interview with Brent Hirose (download without Itunes)

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 00:31:00 +0000

Click above to listen.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #3 - March 11, 2007 - Coffee vs. Jesus

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 03:49:00 +0000

In this episode I discuss an email I received from Russell in Tennesse telling me that my comedy is blasphemous. Thanks, Russell! I also talk about a brochure that someone handed me in the subway explaining how to survive the rapture. Is coffee better than jesus? I think so and I will tell you why and even sing a song about it. Finally, I talk about people who call themselves Christian musicians.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #2 - March 4, 2007 - Pentecostalism for Dummies

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 18:50:00 +0000

In this episode of the podcast I discuss the basics of Pentecostalism. This includes a step by step guide to speaking in tongues. I will also talk about my experiences trying to save people in El Salvador as a teenager. Finally, I talk about the common evangelical ailment that I like to call rapture panic.

Pentecostal Wisconsin Podcast #1 - February 25, 2007 - People Who Think I'm Going to Hell

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:10:00 +0000

As an ex-pentecostal who now uses my pentecostal background as a source for comedic material, I often hear from people who tell me that I am going to hell. In this debut episode of my podcast I talk about the following people who think I am going to hell. -People on MySpace -My father -A crazy woman in Maine This episode also includes a recording of my rendition of "Jesus Loves the Little Children."

I Only Touch Leather Balls

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Fri, 16 Feb 2007 03:24:00 +0000

Tim Hardaway, former NBA All-Star point guard, recently declared "I hate gays" on a Miami radio station. This from a man who made a career as a ball-handler.

"The Unnecessary use of Quotation Marks"

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 23:58:00 +0000

I am tiring of seeing quotation marks used incorrectly. Though I am no master of grammar and punctuation, I do think I have a decent sense of when to use quotation marks. Yesterday while I was riding the bus I saw a man wearing a jacket with his name stitched over the breast pocket. The name was in quotation marks. It read, "Brian." This made it appear as if Brian was not his real name, but perhaps just an alias or a name he liked to go by sometimes. Seeing a name in quotation marks reminds of a newspaper or magazine article in which a journalist is protecting some one's identity - "I met a friend of the suspect. I'll call him 'Brian.'" I now find myself "mistrusting" anyone who "overuses" quotation "marks." -Posted by "Ryan"

Mannequin Porn

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 02:33:00 +0000

"How It's Made" is a show that the Discovery channel airs. It is just as the title suggests, a show about how everything from pencils to knives are made. It reminds me of the films that Mr. Rogers used to show in his magical picture frame, where we could visit, for example, a crayon factory. On tonight's show, they were revealing the process by which foam mannequins are made. The showed both a female and male form being produced. What I found strange was that they blurred out the breasts of the female mannequin. Is that really necessary? I mean, is it really indecent to show some foam in the shape of a breast? Are we that Puritanical? It wasn't as if the mannequin was being used in a sexual way. As for the male form, his "package," which was just a big lump, was out there for the world to see.

Prostitutes vs Hairdressers

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 23:19:00 +0000

Today I went to get a haircut. I get my haircut at a place called Dramatics NYC, where all the employees go by made up names. For example, in the past I have had my hair cut by Sparkle or Allure. One of the receptionists is named Fire. The problem is that if you tell someone you have an appointment with Saphire, it sounds like you are heading off to a brothel. I feel pretty silly referring to these people by their Dramatics NYC approved alias. "Hello, I'd like to make an appointment with Allure?" I find myself saying into the phone. I would use Allure's real name but I don't know it. They must force their employees to take a vow of secrecy regarding their real names because I have yet to hear someone mess up and say, "Hey Deb...I mean "Intoxication"... do you have any Pomade?" I often think about how a certain situation might be misunderstood if presented in a court of law. What if I was on trial for something and the prosecutor, in an attempt to attack my character said, "Is it true that for several years you kept appointments with a woman named "Seduction?" I would attempt to explain, "Well..." The prosecutor would interrupt, "Yes or no, Mr. Paulson." "Ah, yes, that is true. But it wasn't just her. I also met with Allure and Sparkle." One night at a performance of mine, I saw Sparkle in the audience. I had invited her to the show, but didn't actually think she would make it. I was so grateful that she came. I wanted to make sure I said thank you to her. After the show I saw her from across the theatre lobby, just about to exit. I yelled, "Hey Sparkle!" She turned around and gave me this look that said, "Please, don't ever call me that in public." The thing is, I don't know her real name. And when I think about it, I have been calling her Sparkle for so long that using her real name, whether it's Barbara or Shelly or Kate, just wouldn't seem right.

Mormons vs Christian Evangelicals

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Fri, 09 Feb 2007 05:32:00 +0000

Gov. Mitt Romney of Massachusetts, a Republican presidential candidate, is (according to the New York Times and NPR) seeking to quiet concerns among evangelicals about his religion. Romney is Mormon, a religion viewed with suspicion by many evangelical conservatives. It seems that evangelicals are getting a little taste of how many of us view them - as being scary in their devotion to their religion and exhibiting a tendency to paint things in black and white. How scary would it be to have someone in the White House who believes that God hand-picked him for the office, that God talks to him and, leads him in every decision? Well, it would be about as scary as it is right now. A religious extremist in the White House? Never!

Jesus Canes

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 18:12:00 +0000

While listening to This American Life on NPR recently, I was reminded of a Christmas activity that used to take place in my church sunday school. The teacher would pass out candy canes to all the children. Then, in dramatic fashion, she would hold up the candy can and say something like, "What are candy canes for?" Being children, our answers were along the lines of, "I like to eat them!" or"You can hang them on a Christmas tree." The teacher nodded, "Sure, all those things are true, but candy canes also remind us of the real meaning of Christmas." She turned the candy cane upside down, showing us that the candy cane made a "J," which she said stood for Jesus. But it didn't stop there. "What do the white stripes stand for?" she asked. Not used to breaking down the religious symbolism of candy, one of my classmates blurted, "The white stripes are the mint part!" Clearly, she was not getting through to us. "No," she said, "the white stripes stand for Jesus purity, for the fact that he never sinned. What about the red stripes, what do they stand for?" We were dumbfounded. The obvious answer would be that the red stood for Santa Claus, but it seemed unlikely that she was looking for the obvious answer. Finally, a little girl said, "I think the red part is like the juice we use in communion." The teacher realized that was as close as any of us was going to get to the correct answer. "Sure, the red stripes represent Jesus blood which he shed for our sins when he died on the cross," recited the teacher. "So whenever you eat a candy cane remember Jesus blood that washes your sin away. You may now open your candy canes." Picturing that our candy canes were not pretty peppermint sticks as we had always thought but were in fact bloody Jesus canes tempered our enthusiasm for devouring them. No one opened their candy cane. It was a Christmas miracle, of sorts. Our teacher had single-handedly turned a group of 7 year olds off to the idea of free candy.

The Science behind Speaking in Tongues

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 04:52:00 +0000

A Neuroscientific Look at Speaking in Tongues By BENEDICT CAREY Published: New York Times - November 7, 2006 The passionate, sometimes rhythmic, language-like patter that pours forth from religious people who “speak in tongues” reflects a state of mental possession, many of them say. Now they have some neuroscience to back them up. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania took brain images of five women while they spoke in tongues and found that their frontal lobes — the thinking, willful part of the brain through which people control what they do — were relatively quiet, as were the language centers. The regions involved in maintaining self-consciousness were active. The women were not in blind trances, and it was unclear which region was driving the behavior. The images, appearing in the current issue of the journal Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, pinpoint the most active areas of the brain. The images are the first of their kind taken during this spoken religious practice, which has roots in the Old and New Testaments and in charismatic churches established in the United States around the turn of the 19th century. The women in the study were healthy, active churchgoers. “The amazing thing was how the images supported people’s interpretation of what was happening,” said Dr. Andrew B. Newberg, leader of the study team, which included Donna Morgan, Nancy Wintering and Mark Waldman. “The way they describe it, and what they believe, is that God is talking through them,” he said. Dr. Newberg is also a co-author of “Why We Believe What We Believe.” In the study, the researchers used imaging techniques to track changes in blood flow in each woman’s brain in two conditions, once as she sang a gospel song and again while speaking in tongues. By comparing the patterns created by these two emotional, devotional activities, the researchers could pinpoint blood-flow peaks and valleys unique to speaking in tongues. Ms. Morgan, a co-author of the study, was also a research subject. She is a born-again Christian who says she considers the ability to speak in tongues a gift. “You’re aware of your surroundings,” she said. “You’re not really out of control. But you have no control over what’s happening. You’re just flowing. You’re in a realm of peace and comfort, and it’s a fantastic feeling.” Contrary to what may be a common perception, studies suggest that people who speak in tongues rarely suffer from mental problems. A recent study of nearly 1,000 evangelical Christians in England found that those who engaged in the practice were more emotionally stable than those who did not. Researchers have identified at least two forms of the practice, one ecstatic and frenzied, the other subdued and nearly silent. The new findings contrasted sharply with images taken of other spiritually inspired mental states like meditation, which is often a highly focused mental exercise, activating the frontal lobes. The scans also showed a dip in the activity of a region called the left caudate. “The findings from the frontal lobes are very clear, and make sense, but the caudate is usually active when you have positive affect, pleasure, positive emotions,” said Dr. James A. Coan, a psychologist at the University of Virginia. “So it’s not so clear what that finding says” about speaking in tongues. The caudate area is also involved in motor and emotional control, Dr. Newberg said, so it may be that practitioners, while mindful of their circumstances, nonetheless cede some control over their bodies and emotions.

Democrats vs Republican vs North Korea

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 16:47:00 +0000

All of the finger pointing between Democrats and Republicans over North Korea is, at least to me, a sign of hubris by both sides. Democrats will say, "There were no nuclear tests during the Clinton administration," while Republicans counter, "The failed policies of prior administrations set the stage for North Korea to develop these weapons." But not everything that happens in the world can be controlled by the US president. I don't think that North Korea cares whether there is a Democrat or a Republican in the White House when it comes to their desire to have nuclear weapons. I myself am a Democrat and I disagree with a lot of the Bush administration's foreign policy, but that doesn't mean that I hold Bush responsible for North Korea developing these weapons. Nor do I feel that it is Clinton's fault. It seems that there may have been no policy or sanction that could have made North Korea decide not to pursue nuclear weapons. Let's not assume that everything that happens in the world is to the fault or credit of the US president, democrat or republican.

Dylan's Law

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 11:59:00 +0000

"A study of citations to popular artists in law journals reveals that, not surprisingly, Bob Dylan is the most popular artist in legal scholarship." -[Insert Song Lyrics Here]: The Uses and Misuses of Popular Music Lyrics in Legal Writing Alex B. Long, Oklahoma City University School of Law

Carter vs. Nixon vs. Bush

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 11:52:00 +0000

In this month's issue of the Nation they aske the question, "How bad is Bush?" In order to rate the George W. Bush administration, they compare it with the Carter administration on the bad but not devastating end with the Nixon presidency, which took years to recover from. Their answer? The George W. Bush presidency is worse than the Carter presidency but better (or less devastating) than Nixon's. Let's hope.

The Dirtiest Block in Manhattan

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 03:02:00 +0000

I used to live on the dirtiest block in Manhattan. It wasn't actually dirty in terms of litter. It was the name of the block that was dirty - Seaman between Dyckman and Cumming. Now, I often tell people about this because it is pretty remarkable that there would be one block with 3 dirty street names surrounding it. I often wonder if people believe me or if they think I am embellishing the truth a little. But finally I have proof and vindication for having chosen to live there. Today I opened up Time Out New York to find that they had named Seaman between Dyckman and Cumming the 11th best block in New York City! It's a bit creepy that they named it number 11 on the list because I used to live at 11 Seaman Ave. It must mean something. I just don't know what. Maybe I am supposed to move back there. Time Out writes: 11 Seaman Avenue between Cumming and Dyckman Streets, Inwood A short uphill walk from the busy center of Inwood, this block is marked by Washington Heights–esque apartment buildings next to the Holy Trinity Church. Add the view of Inwood Hill Park and the proximity to Fort Tryon Park and it’s a sweet deal. Bonus: +2 points for a great view and the smuttiest combination of street names in the city.

North Korea versus Japan

ryanlukepaulson@gmail.com (Ryan Paulson) — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 00:31:00 +0000

The situation in North Korea is really scary, especially for other countries in the region. Imagine if North Korea dropped a nuclear warhead on a city in Japan? And what if they didn't stop there? What if they then bombed another Japanese city, killing over 200,000 civilians total? That's why I think it's best if only the US has nuclear weapons. We would never do anything like that.