Lee's Blog

Doing my Best, Living my life, listening to Those spirit people and taking my Time

2011-08-21T13:03:00.000-07:00

It was an odd idea at first, doing your best being good enough and in fact your best being all you can do, your best, whatever that is. I lived with the words and idea for some time and at some point it sunk in. I am living doing my best and enjoying the doing it more than ever. Time flys when your living over 40 and man time has been flying lately. Soon my wife and two little girls and myself will pack it up move most of the things in our Nashville home out to the Ranch house and take the rest back to Malibu where we are setting up a home again. This time our setting up a home came so easy that I had to say yes to those Spirit People that for me lead my way into and out of the choices I make with life. I deal with other people in my living and creating a life and those people are there as a part of the Spirit peoples direction not just cuse I may like them. Some time back I had a conversation of sorts with the Head of the Spirit People clan and said I was open to whatever I could do to make the most out of being me, here, these days and would do my best to go for where they would point me. I totally love the being the Human in the mix, kind of comes with a get out of jail free card of sorts. Humans are so odd, we are so scattered and freaked out, funny and passionate. It's all in our Human dreaming, this world we have made up for ourselves here on Earth, not exactly as it is in Heaven. So I have to pack up again, books, clothes, surfboards-funny I have had 5 surfboards in my garage in Nashville for two and a half years now I'm taking them back to Malibu and man I am so ready to get them all wet again. I have a company, I say company because these objects all have connections to other places in time and other energies and spirits, of Sacred objects,a company of sacred objects sacred to me. Old pieces from Teotihuacan and Peru, from the Dine people and my brother Albert Sombrero in Tucson. I have things from the Ranch that hold ties to places deep inside me that I like having connections to that I can hold in my hand. Power objects, Old statues of Saints and Jesus, Buddha and San Martin, Mt. Shasta and Cusco. They are all Spirit people places and aspects of the true reality beyond time and space. This time I have a compelling drive to create something that the Mother told me would come when I was standing in front of the Tilma in Mexico City talking or ,rather listening, to her a few months ago. Every time I feel her voice inside me my heart explodes and I am so filled with Love and gratitude for all this life, for her being in the center of our family ,for the grace that lives from inside of us out into this world . It is really a huge feeling and one I have to get some action going for, the feeling drives me. I have to do what she instils in me, there is no choice. To say no would be like saying no to the one great Love of your life, the Heart of all you've ever loved and held special all moving through you at once and in the midst of that experience you would say no...I don't think so..it's not even a real option...you want to melt into the light yes yes yes, lets do it. That's my thing,,lets do it,,come on, now!

So we are moving back to the Point Dume, I love that Point. The West coast whale shrine of Southern California and we get to live there. That is so cool, I can walk out to the top of Point Dume with my little girls and my Mee and we can sing to the Whales, watching them travel the coast as they have done for all time.

We will build a great open connected community in Malibu and L.A. and all across this land because that connection of community is what we Humans are looking for in this disconnected world of ours. There has never been any disconnection in the spirit world. The spirit world is holding the light for us to remember who and what we are so we might step back into awareness and community as Human Beings together again. This is a big step and the only one that will save us from Our self indulgent ways and it's happening. It is happening on all kinds of levels, in all kinds of ways, and more and more opportunities keep coming to us all the time. All,l, we need do is do our best, take time to listen to those spirit people that talk in all languages and need no words. Living life is the answer and being honest and courageous is the medicine and we have that already deep within each of us. So lets do it,,,and we will see you somewhere along the way.....

LEAVING MEXICO AGAIN

2011-07-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Leaving Mexico again. Listening to Elton John’s “Ballad of a Well known Gun”. Next stop L.A. and the Topanga Film Festival where we will screen Dreaming Heaven the movie. Five years ago we filmed the journey of 18 people for 5 days of living in the body of a timeless light machine. This last ten days back in Mexico has brought me back to the place within myself that realizes Life is happening on so many levels all at once and by default we seem to succumb to whatever our dominate life frequency is and as we become more enmeshed in that frequency we lose relationship with other parallel frequencies. Time and attention following the last calling till we are living a very small way of being, Mexico has a way of blowing that open for me.

I was told some things on this journey, told by the voices that speak inside me, that we live in a Kingdom of light in this world, a kingdom that has by our creation of form and attachment come to cast great shadows across the landscape of Light. Our creation has become the main focus of our attention and the main focus of our faith and beliefs. We have fallen into indulgence with the world of form losing our awareness of being beings of this kingdom of Light. Like a singer who loses them self to the presence of their own voice. Indulgence comes at a big price when you have the ability and opportunity to live open to as many frequencies of Light as you might integrate into your awareness. There is no “guilt” to this situation only cause and effect, it is what it is and clearly it’s time we realize we are living such a small reality that we will collapse as a species if we don’t expand into a greater relationship with our kingdom of light. How that happens I can’t say all I can say is the symptoms of our situation are dire and there’s no way anyone can realistically play dumb here anymore. Of course that doesn’t stop most people from trying and for real I just don’t get it. Could be the humans greatest addiction is suffering in general, even when we transform a life from sickness to wellness many still cling to identities of suffering keeping their life small so as to believe in the lies of safety is a small reality, that is a lie.

Living in a Kingdom of light has a great compelling call to step deeper and deeper into that light. As this way of living opens before us the attachments to the world as an identity or place of refuge and legacy becomes less and less interesting. There is nothing left to prove, no more desire to be good enough for the world. What happens is the passion to live the way of your light into this world of form. Living your ideas and dreams, being a witness to life on Earth all the while your creating the forms of your passion and talents.

I still like the smell of fresh cut hay and street taco stands with a crew of Patriots feeding on the art of the Taco and sipping a cold Pacifico. A good Horse is still as close to God as any religious idol I’ve ever known and swimming in a cool river with your kids on a smoking hot day is Heaven on Earth. A kingdom of Light is a place of mystery and magic when you allow what’s been offered the chance to reveal itself to you. There will be more coming with my Kingdom of Light, a lot more as I sit here right now and that is worth showing up for, one day at a time, heart and mind, body and Spirit open and loving the next turn of the wheel. “You tell me there’s an Angel in your tree, did he say he’d come to call on me”, Elton’s singing “Burn Down the Mission” now. I’ll be looking for the smoke signals.

RAIN AND WIND

2011-05-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

This has been a wet spring. The rains keep coming. There have been great powerful tornadoes all over the South and now floods are rising up around the Country. A spring of contrasts and power. For years now we humans have been living further and further away from the real power in this world , the power of Nature, of Life. We live as though all creation is supposed to be at our command. We have gone insane.
In my life I live between different paradigms. One is the beauty, and reality, of the natural world.Being a Cattleman for over 30 years and having grown up on Ranches in Florida and Wyoming I have always known the weather to be as it is and of no fault or blame. Weather rolls it's own way. I respect that after so many years and so many challenges. Droughts and floods, blizzards and fires, I have lived with all of them they come and they go and life goes on.Living with weather as your partner you either realize we are all just a part of the great creation and life flow or you will find yourself demanding that life and weather be something other than what it is, bigger, older and wiser than we humans are.
In the great scheme of things Human profits are irrelevant. Profits have caused so much destruction and death in this world of modern man. We demand profits over life it self, over health over family and friends. That is sick.
In one of my other worlds , the treatment center/recovery world the weather is seen as something to be delt with, either a non issue or a problem, not really seen or respected as the Life force that it is. In the mental health world we humans have tried to find a way to deal with all the issues and challenges that have arisen as a result of our Human disconnection from reality. We live outside of the awareness of the WHOLE of Life.We live outside the awareness of ourselves as WHOLE human beings connected to the WHOLE of Creation. We see ourselves as stories and definitions, compartmentalized and believe our stories and definitions to be true and real.We have to tell our stories over and over and find others that will support and agree with our stories to keep them alive because they have no life, no real life, of their own. We pass on from generation to generation a wounded nature all wrapped up in those stories and energies that we have attached our selves to through fear and judgement, and we take it all personally. It is interesting to see how through our judgements and projections we have unknowingly created a legacy of suffering and further disconnection.We then teach that legacy to our children so they must then carry the weight of suffering that we have born to them.
Living our self imposed exile from the natural world has come at a huge and painful price.The wind and the rain don't care. The natural world is not a place of personal importance or personal attacks. Tornadoes are not after anyone and droughts don't care if you have to sell cattle or eat less. Life is bigger than our human story of life and Life will continue with us or without us, simple as that. We could learn from this if we would just be willing to see how we perpetuate our own suffering by demanding life be something other than what it is.You can't respect what you choose to ignore.
I live much better with the wind and the rain than I do with the demands of beliefs of the Human world. Looking back I can see why I was so in love with the swamps and woods of Florida that I grew up in. Those woods were real and honest and didn't get angry or petty with their ways . Beliefs were not more important that Life itself. Living on a Ranch when it rains you don't fight it you find something else to do that day.
These are very interesting times but if you don't at least try to look at whats going on from a bigger point of view you'll never see more than your own opinions and attachments of how it "should" be reflected back at you. The natural world has the answers we say we are looking for but they may not be the answers we are demanding. So what do you do? Try taking a long walk in the rain and wind and listen to what the wisdom of creation might have for you, it sure works for me.

Thinking Out Loud

2011-04-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

Looking at the world and especially the world as portrayed by the USA way, it seems as individuals when we are sick, twisted and lost, addicted or whatever we always make our problems about something or someone else, always focusing outside our self. To change our reality we must bring our energy, attention and focus back to our self and all the aspects that make up our self and our reality. If not, the crazy just keeps getting weirder and more destructive. When you begin your healing journey you must let go of old patterns to have enough energy to even begin to change your life, your patterns. Something has to go, shift, break open.
As a Culture/Country the USA is and has been trying to break open, shift,wake up, while the existing systems keep demanding everything is going to be fine, just like always, except always has not been fine for a long time. We are not in anyway a sustainable Culture or species for that matter. Not at the current rate of reality.So we watch ignorant crap on TV, take 80% of all the drugs on the planet, eat garbage for food,succumb to all kinds of insane fundamentalist agendas, get fatter everyday and hold the belief that We the People are something special in this world. If we are it is only by our Human potential not by our actions or the proof of our choices from day to day.The USA is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people in this world over the last 50 years and we are still doing that in the name of a story about Democracy or freedom that does not exist and has no redeeming value anywhere. Not when it has to be perpetrated by Wars.
Back home we have choices, should we continue to destroy the environment as we demand cheap gas and 5$ a gallon gas is cheap. Trade off, you get cancers from all the toxicity of the perpetuation of current petro exploration and drilling, that is happening already all over the USA. Your drinking water is poison, so you must buy water from the same corporations that poisoned it for you so you could have 4$ gas. On and On and on..Short sighted dosen't even begin to cover our lack of seeing!!
We don't have any answers cuse we won't even really acknowledge we are up the creek and can't even remember having had a paddle. First thing I learned from being out of control is I had to stop...be still and find a way to begin to realize the depth of my problems, that would be a great starting point for We The People..stop and take an inventory of our Sick reality.

Learning Opens Doors

2011-04-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

Learning and the sparks that learning ignite have brought me to a beautiful place.

Every time I get bored or stuck, dis-interested in whats happening around me,or lazy in my life I can always bet I have not been in a place of learning from Life. I'm not talking about so much left brain information type learning. I am talking about learning in experience with others who have a greater relationship with the focus of the teaching than I do.
This last weekend I sat ,for the first time in a long time , in a grazing/Cattlemens seminar with 40 other Cattle people and listened to three men who held a much greater perspective on their masteries than I did. The whole time I was inspired, re- awakened to the passion and Love I used to live for the land, cattle, nature and life of being a Ranch person. That passion had faded into the sunset over the years as I got involved in other interests and stopped learning about the natural world of grasses, wild life and Ranching.Attention shifts as life moves forward and we simply re-direct our attention to something else, that's life. Cool thing is once I truly love something that love may fade but is never really lost it's just there in the background should I ever bring my attention back and re-connect with a new awareness or passion, learning something new, opening awareness and interest for that Love again.

That flame comes back to life and I'm excited and inspired again.
This weekend brought me back to the beauty, the alive ,present , now, beauty of these Tennessee hills and pastures. I saw them through new eyes. It took a brilliant Gentleman from South Africa and a group of other participants to bring my attention back to what has been there all along that I just lost the eyes to see but man did it ever work.
People will sometimes say"Well you don't appreciate what you have!", but that's not the actual truth. What is true is that we Humans lose the living energetic connection to that object of focus or subject. Everything in Human Life is a relationship if it is alive. Every aspect of my life is an aspect of relationship. All of my relationships are my choosing whether alive in the moment or fading into the distance my life is a matrix of relationships that I either choose to feed or not. In this world today it's easy to jump from place to place, relationship to relationship losing awareness of whats most important and losing that awareness that for a relationship to be vibrant and exciting we must feed it with attention and new experiences.
Learning together in relationship creates a great merging of energy and passion. My Love for the land and Cattle merged with the reality of the land and Cattle I have here in Tennessee and that relationship came back to life like it was new.It's the same thing in relationship with a person, we have to feed those relationships or they get tired and dull. Time and attention are the ingridients that make great relationships and unless we practice applying time and attention to the relationships we choose in our lives then those relationships won't have much life to them and that will be 100% our responsibility, not that other person or interest.
It's been a great weekend and a very good lesson for me...pay attention to what you do with your interests and if they are getting dull then put those relationships in a space to learn something new together, bring life back to forefront of your choices, feed what you Love and Live well.

WORDS

2011-01-10T10:44:00.000-08:00

The first thing I learned when I realized I was insane is I HAVE TO STOP PERPETUATING MY INSANITY..the USA is moving from frenzy to frenzy..believing that something is being accomplished. Until we can collectively stop, stop believing ourselves and our minds rants, our stories and all our greatest versions of how progress will look,,until we stop the frenzy we will only go round in circles, spiraling down deeper into the chaos of our minds,,The Nature of this reality is going to stop us humans if we do not find the inate internal integrity we all have with in us to do this great act of Life for our selves..it has to begin one person at a time,,and spread one person at a time,,grounding the light back into our realities and world..all our external communication is feeding the insanity ,,God I wish we had guts enough to turn it all off and go sit still.
What we are missing is already here in each of us,,and we do not know ourselves. We believe what we see and hear,,we believe our own distorted versions of life and experience. None of that aspect of our self is real or alive. All that lives is in each moment and passes with each moment,,,living for the past has been an experience of life on Earth and as of this Shift in frequency will no longer be a way of LIFE in this world but rather a path to death, the Death of the old Dream. We are Eternal..if we can re-connect to our centers then we might live as though we had the faith of the eternal , with Respect and compassion and awareness..all moving, living , breathing from the light of our center.
We are addicted to talking about nothing, believing that our beliefs are true and real,,Beliefs are not true, have never been and will never be,,real is un touchable,,and is what we are, real is completely knowable and unexpressable all at the same time,,Eternal is real...Light is real..this moment is real..none of the stories of the world are real..stop giving your faith to stories.
Tragedy is going to become the way of the world ..and all we have to know about that is that it is us doing to ourselves..How much pain and redundant insanity will it take before we let all of our demands of reality go?
Be Still and Know that I am God...We have been told!!!

HICKORY WIND

2010-12-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

Life’s mostly been either a matter of principal to me or a free for all. There’s never been a lot of room in between. Seems I have a propensity for passion and going against the stream. Living inspires me. After trying as hard as I could to live according to how I was raised, and I’m not saying I was ever very good at that one, I decided to take the outside edge of the main stream. That outside edge where there is no guardrail.
At 14 my mom bought me a guitar and sent me to lessons. The guitar was a hit. I loved it. I’d sit in my room and hold it like a sweet, blue eyed, girl friend, trying to find the chords to make the music play. The lessons didn’t get far. As soon as I had a few chords down I was off on my own. That’s a pattern I’ve lived my whole life. All I need is just enough guidance to feel my way along and I’ll take it from there. That won’t make a disciplined artist but it sure sets you up to live it your own way and learn from falling rather than wearing out the training wheels. Somewhere early on I was turned on to Gram Parsons and a song called Hickory Wind. Being a real live Southern boy Grams lonesome soul matched my way of looking at the world and I was determined to sing my way into the sunset. I fell in love with the passions of the heart and that longing to be free and lonely. Life was the great mystery and I was out to find my share of the shadows and the clouds.

As the years have passed that longing to be lonely gave way to loving life. Attachments came and went with the years. After falling off a few of those no guard rail edges I realized having a soft place to fall was a good thing so I worked my way into the Ranch life, cattle, horses, open sky and still waters. Seemed the seasons of the heart had more bearing on my way of life than the seasons from spring to fall. Somehow by a most amazing grace I made a full circle and the scene of the crime became my saving grace. A Ranch was transformed to a healing place where the Spirit of the land held the key to the awakening that was so desperately needed by all of us that made our way there. Even with that I was out on the edge but I’d had enough experience to slow down a bit on the curves.

Then one day a friend gave me a CD of some old Gram Parsons songs and Hickory Wind brought me back to a time when the whole world looked to be the greatest adventure waiting to be told. As I listened I felt a river of feelings and memories that old hook of Spanish moss and Hickory Trees was still alive deep inside. My soul is still southern born, in fact, the southern extended all the way to central Mexico.

As I travel between the worlds of my dreams I now can say a prayer in Spanish and Dream with the Pyramids of the old Sorcerers. As far as I may go, a few chords of Hickory Wind will bring me right back home again.
I still love life and passion still drives the wheels on my truck. Realizing that being me was what I was really missing during the crazy years, I don’t waste time trying to be anything else, and that’s freedom and that’s all I ever asked for really. So here’s to you Gram…”In South Carolina, there’s many tall Pines…. I remember the Oak trees, we used to climb and it makes me feel better, each time it begins, calling me home…Hickory Wind”.

Director of Reality

2010-12-02T05:17:00.001-08:00

In my life I have always lived a dual relationship with the world around me. While it would seem our point in being human is to be Human, in a body, with emotions, passion, desires, accomplishments, I have always been more comfortable with imagination and the mysterious world of nature, space, spirit and the felt but unseen.

When I found my-self to great a mess to keep on living the way I had come to live as a man in the world I was almost immediately offered reminders that there is a much greater reality interwoven into and beyond the forms of the world. I had to get outside of my reality to find a connection to what would inspire me to keep moving forward on my path of transformation and recovery.I had to wake up.
That crossroads in my life was a big one, one of those no turning back kind of decisions. Jump in the river and you get wet. Let go of your hold on the throat of life and you may just realize how great it feels to breathe. There is no one-way of living life that is “it”. “Life” is it and however you choose to live, it is the living that is the point. The nature of our experiences is cause and effect, action reaction, legacy in motion.

There is a very interesting dance between the experience of what we have chosen and what comes our way as the world turns around us. To become a master of the choosing is a great accomplishment and a sure way to become a Director of Reality, as you know it. That has been my mission for some time, to become The Director of Reality as Lee lives it. The learning curve is a long one and the rewards so far are absolutely worth the investment. What better use is there of time than to develop life as an Art, as the Toltec’s referred to our Life on Earth. I have learned some practices that seem to be valid on the journey so far.

1. Find a way to enjoy what you are doing until you can be doing what you enjoy. Living with passion for the day to day-in life is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the world.

2. Develop real staying power. Have guts enough to keep showing up even when you are bored, tired, uninspired. Until a person learns staying power they will never get far with their life’s art.

3. Life is extremely multi-dimensional, pay attention to all the subtleties. If you are only working for one aspect of your experience i.e. a paycheck, or winning the game, then know you are totally dumbing down what is a huge expansive offering from life. As Socrates said in “Way of The Peaceful Warrior”, there is never nothing going on.

4. Listen with your heart. Use your reasoning mind as a second opinion not the primary voice in your life.

5. Do what is necessary to learn the distinction between the Physical body, the emotional body and the Spiritual body, which are not separate at all but we have been taught to see them as such and there is great power in learning the unique traits of each and then integrating them together again. We are taught nothing of the Art of Being Human and that leads to insanity.

6. Be very mindful of what you put into your physical body as food, drink, drugs, etc..The physical body has a frequency to it. Like a tuning fork if you fill it with garbage it will not stay in tune. To grow energetically we must care for the instrument we experience this world through or we will bleed energy that is necessary to fulfill our dreams.

7. Walk a lot. Park far from where you are going and walk through the world with your eyes up and open to the life around you. Breathe deep and feel the weather, the ground under your feet, say hello to people. Be Alive.

8. You have no real idea of who or what you are and that is actually not important at all. Be alive and follow your heart. Pay attention to the reality you are dwelling in, you have created it through your choices, karma, and exchanges of energy with Life. You are completely responsible for your life, no one else is, so use that power to choose and live and do not get stuck in your own limiting stories and narrow interpretations of reality. We will never figure reality out as Humans so enjoy it and lighten up. There are no definitions that can contain what you really are, watch it with definitions and knowledge, knowledge is way over rated on the happy life scale.

So many aspects of my life today are directly the result of what I have dreamed of, asked for and intended to be, that when I take it all in I am humbled and in great gratitude to Life and creation for allowing me to be me and to my self for having courage enough to not settle for what I’ve been offered as good enough. I appreciate and see the flow of it with eyes wide open.
What have you learned from your living life that you can identify as your principals? Not what you have been told to live as principals but what have you experienced as real, in action principals? There is no substitute for being authentic, that is what you are if you would be true to yourself and to the one that created you. How authentic are you? Really? This is an amazing life. See you around….

Vaya Con Dios, Lee

Feeling my Way Back

2010-10-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

I have to stop to write. Seems like since my last post I haven't stopped til last weekend at CIRCLES OF LIGHT. This is Sunday Morning and Waylon is singing in the kitchen downstairs, i-pod style, man I first met Waylon Jennings in 1978 in Nashville. I had just moved to Nashville to be a singer, to follow my dreams. There weren't any i-pods in 1978 but by God there were some real heavyhearted soulful singers around Nashville. I miss how authentic the music was back then.
Like the rest of the culture of the USA authenticity is dying like the Bee's.

My Princes Know it All cooked eggs and miso soup for breakfast, a healing your soul kind of mix that is our life today. When Mee and I met we lived on different planets. Her's was Los Angeles, the City of the Angels and mine was Piney River Cattle Co. , Tennessee, land of the family legacy and my waking up place. From the outside you'd have never given us a snowballs chance in Bermuda of becoming a family. Just goes to show you how off our perception is when it comes to really seeing who we are underneath the trappings of surviving in this culture. We stuck, together, and grew in all directions like light spreading from a star. These days she listens to Marty Robbins and Loretta Lynn as much as Lady Gaga or Juanes. We fell in love with life together. California, Mexico, Tennessee, dreaming our dreams, together and now with Isabella Lee and Lola LillyAna Pauline, we meet in bed at night and talk about how we are and what we want together.We miss Mexico, the Heart of that beautiful Country and her people. I miss the ocean, where I was born, by the great waters of this Earth.

Then there is Tennessee, Tennessee has become a portal all it's own. From the floods came a deep lasting journey into the Underworld. I was there a long time. Reconnecting with why I was here in the first place and why was it that I was working so hard to keep this relationship alive and growing. The Ranch with all it's beauty, healing magic and soul almost fell into that great void of the underworld and was lost. Just in time a new relationship came to bring a new aspect of integrity to The Ranch and our families relationship to Tennessee, the Ranch, Life and creation. You see Mee and I live to be creative, that's a big part of what connects us. Creativity is life and life is light and that light has to flow for us. So we fit together bringing our visions to life.

The Ranch brought a group of guys from the West coast, California, another love of our families, to the rescue. As one Ranch relationship was dying hard another was born of that light.
Today we have torn down the old commissary building at The Ranch. It was built in 1836 and it was time. I saved most all the materials and they will be resurrected in their own time. We also took down the medical house to make way for a new structure, new life, new dreams. That's how it is for us. Dreaming means not knowing exactly and trusting with Faith to go for it anyway. Feel your way into the next day, the next choice the next opportunity.
My teacher don Miguel Ruiz just had a new Heart transplanted in his chest. A miracle of modern medicine. As I give gratitude for Miguels life I give gratitude for all life, for so many opportunities and so much love and laughter.Miguel will now bring a new light to his gifts to this world as will The Ranch as will each of us that awakens to the greatest gift of all, the moment and all that fills that moment with life and wonder. Somethings coming and we are it..May Peace be with you all..Ometeotl

RISING WATERS- PART 2

2010-05-15T17:41:00.000-07:00

RISING WATERS- PART 2…..

When I got to The Ranch I had to see my Spirit House. I had Spirit House created as the centerpiece for the community of The Ranch. I wanted a special place to honor the courage and intent that reclaiming our lives from the insanity of this world requires. The watermark was about 4.5 feet up on the outside wall. I knew the floor had cracked, Rusty the manager of my Cattle company had gone inside in the middle of the night on Saturday when the water receded and had called me to tell me it was really bad. I was not looking forward to seeing the damage. Inside were three Incan quipoos, the string books that the people of the Incan world used to record information and send messages to one another. Quipoo’s are multi- dimensional communication tools, for real. My good friend Jorge Luis Delgado had given me five quipoos when I was in Peru on my first trip and had told me they were to be brought back to the Ranch and I would know what to do with them. He said they were a bridge between the worlds and I was a bridge person and was supposed to have these keys to the Andean world. When we finished the Spirit House I had the quipos framed in shadow boxes and hung them in the entrance foyer. You could feel them when you walked in the door.

In the back room, the big meeting room, there were also large oil paintings of the four Arch Angels, Miguel, Raphael, Gabriel, and Uriel that I’d bought from a great street artist in Cuzco. On another wall was a golden mask of the Buddha and across form him was an original oil of the Christ painted by the pastor of the Pinewood Baptist Church, which he had given the Ranch as a gift. On the table beneath the Christ was a statue of Tonantzin, The Virgin of Guadalupe that had been in our home when we were living in Mexico. She had traveled from the beaches of Sayulita, Nayarit, Mexico to Tennessee to bless our Spirit House.

As I walked in the door I was numb, like I was watching me walk in through a scene in a Movie. Straight ahead were the 500-year-old quipo’s hanging like nothing had happened. They were not touched, not wet, nothing. Immediately I looked through the doorway to the back wall of the meeting room and the paintings of the angels were also on the wall, perfect. I was standing in the midst of a building of wrecked furniture covered in mud 6 inches deep and these two sets of art were hanging in their places by grace. Walking through the door into the meeting room on my right the Buddha mask was also in place untouched as was the painting of Jesus and still standing on the table beneath the Christ was the statue of Guadalupe Tonantzin, the Mother. The floor beneath my feet was blown up, cracked and lifted 7 or 8 inches from the pressure of the waters that blew through the concrete slab to get into the building. Everything was a total wreck and these symbols of faith and consciousness were all still holding their places in our Spirit House. My deep sadness was overwhelmed by the sense of a greater knowing that our Dreaming Heaven on Earth will be held above the rising water, faith is not a belief but a relationship with the mystery, the Unknown and this was how the mystery works. I smiled and knew this was something more than I would understand anytime soon.

My next stop was our little house in the back of the property. It was just a double wide, a double wide that Mee and I had moved into 8 years ago when I decided to turn our beautiful Ranch home into an eating disorders program house. We were living in L.A. half the time anyway and the women that came to The Ranch suffering from Eating Disorders needed their own space and program for healing so the decision was an easy one. The double wide was the last house on The Ranch available and it wasn’t big or nice enough for a client house so we hooked it up with oriental rugs and antiques and my favorite western art. For sure we had the coolest double wide in Hickman County. I used to kid Mee about her moving from Hollywood to a trailer in the Holler…That little house had been home though. Bella had known it all her 7 years and Lola loved her “ranch house” as she called it. Their room had been hand painted with Buddha’s and butterflies, fairies and sunflowers. It was a little girl’s wonderland. My greatest sadness was my girls losing their “ranch house”. I had lost my farm home when I was a kid and never realized that that sadness was still there deep inside and now it was coming to visit my girls.

The water had been to the ridge cap on the roof of the Double wide, 7 ft. of water twice in 24 hours. Trailers don’t mix well with floods. It was totally trashed. Again as I climbed over the wreckage I made my way into our bedroom and was stopped dead in my tracks. Our big king sized bed was sitting in the middle of wrecked furniture perfect like nothing had happened. The white bedspread was perfect, the pillows all still in place and not a speck of mud or water showing. It was spooky weird. There was also a Native American Church prayer fan hanging over the bed that was not even wet and it was below the water line, which was a 6’6”. Climbing out of our room I went to the girls room and Bella’s bed was the same, perfect. Her stuffed animals were all in place on her bed. I lost it. It felt like this mess was saying, “don’t worry, this is your home, this land, this dream and you are fine”. I made my way back outside and sat down on the twisted deck and looked up at the clear blue sky and felt like I was surrounded by light and life and the truth that for all our best attempts to hold onto the things of this world we really hold only what we give that comes through us and all the rest is the sweetness of living and loving being human.

Some where during this time of entering the spaces washed through by the flood I fell through the floor of this world into the under world, a place deep inside our selves that is where all our legacies and human history, our unresolved issues and attachments and also the place where the masters of the Underworld offer the greatest lessons of awareness and truth. I fell deep and only yesterday felt myself moving back into this plane of being. For two weeks I wandered through the depths of the underworld as I went to work and talked with my wife, told friends what was going on and directed the clean up and reconnections that would keep The Ranch program operating. All that time I was fully aware I was dwelling in that space of darkness and deep reflection. Interesting enough my x-wife called and we talked for the first time in several years and my old high school girl friend found me on facebook. Then another friend told me she had just spoken to another very close friend from high school days that I had lost contact with. It was like old passions of my heart had been shook loose and floated up to the surface. As the volunteers came out to help and the amazing people who make up the staff of The Ranch all came together to lift the work and the Dream of The Ranch above the mess I was moving through this world but dwelling deep in a space that I can’t really explain.

This is a brief reflection of living this last two weeks and today I saw clearly that by the 4th of July we will have a RE-CREATION PARTY for our little magical world on the edge of the Piney River in the middle of the Tennessee Hills…so stay tuned and come join us…Blessings to you all and may Peace be With You…

Rising Water- part 1

2010-05-14T17:51:00.000-07:00

I flew home from Vegas on Friday evening. The weekend before I led a workshop with my friend Dawn Zurlinden for 18 therapists at The Ranch.We closed on Saturday evening after walking the labriynth in the pouring rain. Then Sunday evening I flew to L.A. to work on our documentary DREAMING HEAVEN on Monday and Tuesday then an evening flight to Vegas for a conference which got me home on Friday night.

When I woke up Saturday morning I was tired, it was the first Saturday in May and the Kentucky Derby was happening that afternoon, so, after winning money on my friend Gary Seidlers horse in the Oaks race the day before I thought I'd relax and see what the Derby brought. Of course I had put my winnings on a hot prospect in the derby. That's when the rain started. This was rain like the sky was pouring out all the waters of an eternity of watching the Earth live in drought. It poured and poured and I sat looking out the window , tired and glad to be home with my family.

At 1pm I got a call that the river was up and the workshop that was on that weekend at The Ranch had been called off due to the weather. No big deal...ok..rain is normal...rain is normal.At 5pm I got a call that the water was up to the offices and close to our little house. I knew something was coming then..another hour passed and the next call was that our house and all the buildings at The Ranch compound were standing in 6 feet of water. The River had merged with the creek and all our buildings and equipment at the Cattle company were also under water, none of these places had ever been flooded before. I wanted to drive out but couldn't get there, the roads were under water. The next twenty four hours were all about the water.

It rose, flooded, dropped and then rose again on Sunday afternoon higher than before. I was still stuck in Nashville , at home, feeling like I was losing the place I had lived to create for the last 20 years. One moment I would be sad, then detached, then amused at the power and surprise of the Mother and her weather, then sad. I wanted to be there and couldn't get there so I would close my eyes and dream myself above those waters looking down on the roof tops.

On Tuesday I made it to The Ranch and my heart broke. The Dream that had been so sweet and alive for eleven years of healing and recovery had been ripped open by the waters. The Spirit House , the Shed offices and the old Ranch managers home that had become the medical offices were blown open by 6 feet of flowing tides of fresh water. Everything was covered in mud and silt. Our little double wide home was destroyed. As I sat feeling like a child who had lost their comfort and safe place I looked up into a beautiful blue sky and felt all the reality of how we own nothing in this world beyond our experience here.I didn't love the river any less, or the Ranch or the presence that life fills all this world with and yes I was very sad.There was work to do, where to start was a challenge, everything was a wreck. Looking out across the river bottom I said to the spirit world , to the river, to the Mother, I love you and my heart is broken and we must recreate our Dream now and I know you will be with me as you have been always and I cried.......to be continued

Listening to Thoughts

2010-04-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

Listening to thoughts, they feel alive, these thoughts that follow me into this world from where ever it is we are actually Dreaming this realty. To be able to listen to my own thoughts is evidence to me that the frequency of life I’m living has shifted from the experience I lived for many years as the one in reaction to my thoughts, never realizing that listening was even an option. Lately, as the thoughts arrive I’m listening to the feelings conveyed through the thoughts. Listening to a feeling sounds weird but that’s what it feels like, listening, hearing the thought, hearing the feeling. As feelings are sensed in the body there is also awareness of information or thought in the sensing, in the feeling. These aspects of my being human are all merging with each other, swirling around and through one another like the clouds in the eye of a hurricane, travelling through space and time, always bleeding through the barriers of realms unseen, connecting the energies of the worlds behind the world.

I wonder if, as I breath, in and out, in this world, if my breath might be connected to a breath, or sense, or awareness, in some other frequency by some other conscious one living their experience of a reality.

God from God, light from Light, true God from True God, begotten not made. If we are eternal how could we be “made”, to be made we would have to have not existed before our being made. Begotten seems to me to be with out beginning or end, begotten from source, an aspect of source originating from beyond our understanding, free from needing to understand yet obsessed with what is none of our business.

Creating the aspects of reality that my intentions are directed toward is an extension of being begotten not made. Are our creations without beginning or end? Is form an image that reflects light and sound yet only exists in truth in the quality of intent and awareness that bore form into this world? What are our relationships really? Do we relate from love and faith in our self or do we relate from lack of love and faith in our self? Until we are Love and faith in our self there can’t be a real relationship with someone else.

I miss home when I am away and deep inside I know I have never been away from my home, from the place of my begetting. This world of ours has all the aspects we have brought into being from our living as though the beginning and end were truth and yet if we really believed that death was an end, I mean really believed that, then why would we live using that death as a threat against life.

I don’t believe we know what we believe. To “know” what we believe on a soul level requires way more introspection and listening than this culture lives, way more than our shallow belief systems are interested in seeking out. Coming into awareness of what we really believe brings a huge awareness and responsibility for holding those beliefs and we are just not that responsible or aware. Maybe that’s what we are looking at as the great 2012 prophecy comes to bear light on our modern age. Maybe by Grace we will be made aware of the suffering we live as a legacy of life. Suffering that has been “made” as the result of our living blind and completely irresponsible for our unquestioned blind beliefs.

The truth never needs defending, beliefs demand defending. Beliefs are not Truth. The light of the World is within all of us and we choose to live by beliefs and legacies born to us by the world around us. We give faith to shadows while all the time we are the light.

Begotten not made…sit with that one for while and see what your thoughts feel like. Listen and if you don’t get an answer be grateful that the answers will come from where your listening mind least expects it and maybe, just maybe, a deeper eternal voice, a long forsaken aspect of your own self will answer on its own time, in it’s own way.
Awakening will not come by expectation. We are all in this together, begotten not made, life from life, God from God….Ometeotl

ANOTHER FLIGHT

2010-03-27T09:31:00.001-07:00

TRYING TO GET THERE FROM HERE

Another flight, from Manchester, New Hampshire to Nashville by way of Tampa, It’s the route that got me thinking. To get to Nashville by way of Tampa doesn’t make much sense until you realize that’s the way it is, and so it is. My life has been that way, not a straight line. Truth is, reason would have a challenge making sense of my life’s path and I am totally cool with the path not being reasonable. Reason has damn near wrecked the culture of the USA and the magical nature of our being human. You can have reason as your guide, I don’t trust it. I am fifty-four years old/young with a barely controllable continuous urge to sell everything, move back to a beach somewhere and spend my time surfing and doing whatever life offers as a work/lifestyle. I have four daughters 26, 21,7 and the youngest being 3 ½. Reason would ask “why would you want two more kids when you were done with all that, why, you had your life back?” Reason has never held it’s own babies and been overwhelmed with Gods presence flowing through with all the love life has to offer. Reason doesn’t play on the beach or teach a little girl how to brush a pony or make snow angels on a December morning.
As a kid I was taught this straight-line attitude toward life. You go to school, get good grades, choose a profession, go to college, get a good job, find a nice girl, get married have babies, save your money, buy a house, get to be a boss, save more money, buy a fat car, become important, be responsible, play golf, retire, and wait to die satisfied that you did it all “right”. That whole set up scared the shit out me, no way; I just don’t trust that bullshit at all. So I did what I wanted, really wanted. I played music in honky tonks and bars, lifeguarded, learned to be a decent hand with horses and cattle, played more music,moved to Nashville, got lost in the shadows of the seductive world of strippers, drugs and banditos, tried to be a husband and father while living like a fool on a mission, broke the hearts of the ones I loved most and crashed into the desert outside of Tucson trying to find a handle on a life gone crazy. That’s where I was introduced to “recovery”. The funny thing for me was “recovery” was focused on that original idea that to be happy we should be happy, productive members of society and do the American Dream thing, which had no appeal to me still, even after all my insanity. The straight and narrow looked like a socially acceptable hell. My path was more like getting to Nashville from New Hampshire by way of Tampa than a non-stop reasonable route.

All my life there has been a presence that seemed to call me out from the accept things the way they are world and inspired me to see things the way it might be if we were all allowed to be FREE, free to be who we are underneath the story of what we should do as life if we would be safe and reasonable.

I am a bit crazy, that I know, but that’s just the way it is and I am fine with that. What I realized while doing the recovery work was that there was no way I could live happy and healthy unless I was as authentic as I could possibly be reguardless of what those who were there to show me the “way” might suggest. I do appreciate the help and suggestions and I will have to go my own way.
This whole idea of “recovery” is still an interesting concept to me. After 12 years in the business and before that 6 or 7 years of referring to myself as in the process of recovery I continue to feel like recovery is not as authentic a journey as people seeking it are deserving of if they are to get beyond the haunting that they are recovering from and actually RECOVER. Just saying “I am recovered”, freaks most recovery people out. What’s up with that? If you went to a Doctor and the Doc told you you’d be sick forever wouldn’t you go looking for a second opinion? I did.

It takes a huge amount of courage and will to choose to recover our authenticity from the ways in which this world hijacks us. Of course we get lost in mind numbing behaviours. We live lives that are only sort of authentic. Living only sort of authentic is phony and phony is never fulfilling. It is a weird perfect storm. The culture of the USA is all about more, stuff, information, degrees, money, power…we need more because living as less than authentic leaves our human longing for wholeness and peace. Living a lie is a drag and our culture tells us that being what is expected of us is what responcibleity and service look like so , not knowing any better we go for it. Then we have the monster in the room, the USA’a sick fascination with the pharmaceutical industries offer to provide a pill to make every ailment easier to live with, live with, not recover from, as in heal the reason for all the symptoms in the first place. So we fly from New Hampshire to Tampa to get to Nashville.

Authenticity is a place within us, not a job description or career. To live authentic is to get to know your self as human. Growing up I wasn’t taught anything about being human. I was given a bunch of scientific info on the human body and psychology and blah, blah, blah and that had nothing to do with BEING HUMAN. So my “recovery” process became a journey into the awareness of that greatest of experiences, being human. What I know today is there is no true definition for living the being human. There is no step-by-step path to achieving being human, you have to live it, paying attention and practicing, one day at a time. We are, each of us, greater than all the sums of all the parts of this matrix of a world. We are, our consciousness, our spirit, Real .We are eternal, the light of the world, Children of the Sun. The matrix of the “reality” of being American, or Buddhist, or Republican or recovering or any of the zillions of labels that are applied in an attempt to appease the minds need to know “who” we are, are not “real” they are masks, applications, applied to the business of being human. Reality “is”,whether we believe it or not, see it or not, understand it or not. Reality is what is still with you when you take your last breath, all the rest is matrix.

I’m now on the last leg of my return from New Hampshire to Nashville. Tampa is fading into the distance and Tennessee is somewhere north of the Palm trees that remind me of all my years calling Florida home. I grew up in Florida and man did I love it. Seems like another lifetime ago…and it was. In New Hampshire I spent 4 days leading an awareness experience for a group of High school students at a prestigious Prep school. The kids were amazing. They we intuitive, bright, clever, they were also sad and disenchanted and on all kinds of meds because they were kids and that is, these days, too inconvenient for parents to have to deal with so they are kept stoned on prescription drugs and told smoking grass is bad. Yes they know hypocrisy when they are fed it. So we built a great stone spiral in the woods and walked in meditation. We held two Sweat lodge ceremonies and sat in Dreaming practice in the evenings. We cooked and ate together, washed dishes and talked about life and dreams and their stories. Most of them “forgot” to take their meds and remarked how clear and calm and focused they were. Their eyes lit up and they smiled as they shared their dreams and visions from the ceremonies and meditations. I was and am humbled by their spirit and honesty and am saddened and angered at the way they are treated by our culture.

I read a book recently by Michael Ortiz Hill and his African brother Mandazza that portrays the culture of the USA as a culture of black magic witches that place all the people, even children, under a spell and then cast the people into servitude to a dream and system that sucks the soul and life out of you all to feed the powerful and wealthy. I swear I see what they say. I see it on the news and on the street. I see it in the schools and from the preachers on TV. No thanks…not my Dream. I’ll keep living out here on the edge. Questioning everything and giving more time to my kids and my dreaming than I do to business or the system. I’ll keep bringing freedom into the recovery work I do, freedom to be true to our self first and this matrix of a world later. Maybe we’ll cross paths in an airport somewhere trying to get from one place to the next in one of these most reasonable straight lines. Vaya Con Dios….

The Long and Winding Road

2010-03-07T09:39:00.001-08:00

The long and Winding road…….

Clouds hang beneath me. I still see them through the eyes that as a 10 year old wondered why couldn’t we walk through the clouds. Clouds are more real than thoughts. Thoughts can’t be seen. You cannot measure the height of a thought. You can’t block out the sunlight with a thought. Thoughts don’t bring rain and cannot be carried by the wind. These days there are spaces between my thoughts, spaces that are filled with stillness and silence. Between the clouds there are spaces. Spaces filled with light and wind, spaces that frame the world of the clouds as the thoughts once framed the world of my mind.

Living my long and winding road has allowed me a great and varied relationship with the thoughts that fill the worlds of my mind like the clouds fill the sky around me. If my thoughts were all so important and real then where did they all go. How can a thought create such response, reaction, belief and passion and then be gone with the next arriving thought.
My thoughts come and go and like some ghost in the night they sometimes haunt me till I find a way to banish them by the light of day. I have had thoughts, memories, haunt me and when I tried to hide they seemed to wait just beyond my awareness till I was not looking only to come flying back into my minds eye demanding attention and belief.” Here we are asshole, what, did you really believe we would leave you alone? Why we belong to you, you created us. There is nowhere else for us to go. You brought us into being, gave us a home and then dropped us into the well of your life’s story where we wait for the next opportunity to rise from the ashes of times gone by. All of us thoughts are related like a clan of Italian mobsters we have loyalty and our own code of ethics and we never give up our story till the don tells us to go.”
How do you tell a thought to go? Whats it take to get an audience with the don of your own mind?
How do you know which thoughts are real or true or necessary? Where do all these thoughts come from? Really…they seem to be eternal and never ending. So there must be a source, a source beyond the brain. How did it come to pass that a Human being could be controlled by the unreality of a thought? Something less tangible than a cloud has come to rule the worlds of men. We must be insane.
Our thinking is born of some Shrouded aspect of our being and we just volunteer to be in service to that thinking.
I don’t believe my thoughts much these days. There are long lines of unemployed thoughts that once had full time jobs keeping track of my beliefs, beliefs that I have since let go to the river of days. Stack a few thoughts together and you’ll come up with a framework for belief. Beliefs are not true or real either, that’s why they are called beliefs not truths.

….That leads me to your door, will never disappear. I’ve seen that road before…..

It may have been turning 50 a couple years back, can’t say for sure but I have lost interest in my thoughts having lots of supporting cast from friends and family. That was not always the case. There is a real freedom in not having thoughts as my guide in this world. Thoughts as a supporting cast is cool and close enough. There are other voices these days. Voices that come as feelings or senses, they then morph into thought form but only in so far as is necessary.

Looking out the window of this flight back home to Nashville I still believe there must be a way to walk on the clouds. Maybe if I keep dreaming into it I’ll find a way. Now that’s a thought I’ll check back in on. If I find a way I’ll let you know, maybe…

…It always leads me here. Lead me to your door…The Wild and windy night…that the rain washed away…..

Vaya con Dios….

Return to Life

2010-02-15T12:42:00.000-08:00

’m on a flight from L.A. to Guadalajara. Tonight I’ll sleep in my little blue house in Teotihuacan. The last few days I have been shifting my attention between the main aspects of my life, from my family, to The Ranch, from the Ocean and waves of Malibu to the music and creation of our Documentary DREAMING HEAVEN. One conversation I’m talking about cattle and the future of the cattle business as we shift from a life time of commercial beef cattle production to the organic grass fed business, and the next I’m working on the creation of the Integrative Life Centers, a new format for Recovery and Integrative wellness in an out patient setting allowing more people to come to terms with all that they live, believe, choose and give their faith to. Recovery is becoming about our Integrity as human beings, a much greater picture than what I experienced 11 years ago when I was first introduced to the term Recovery as a way of life. Eleven years ago “recovery” was about being sober from drugs and alcohol, that is still a very important, yet narrow beginning point leading to the opportunities to live life Free, creative, authentic and aware.

As all the pieces of my world orbit through me and around me I feel a little crazy, like the threads are coming unraveled faster than I expected, like the ground under my feet is not solid at all but a fluid almost wave like place where I stand in consciousness not in a solid reality. This is the awareness of Dreaming Life, a term I’ve used for several years and still one that my mind argues with. To say life is a dream sounds to my mind like it’s not serious enough, the mind needs to believe that it has life figured out or it wants to freak. So I let my mind freak cuse when I let my mind run my life my life got to be a mess, my mind freaking is a breeze compared to my mind calling the shots.
The dreaming is awareness that the creation of my life is an act of intent and opportunity mixed with free will and awareness. Sounds more like a sorcerers recipe than a serious drama and it is and I am so grateful.

The fabric or this world of ours has hit the great cosmic hyperspace warp drive and what we have been taught to give faith too is becoming more and more not real or true. Where to now? The new security is faith in you, first, and then when we give faith to anything else that faith has real value. Until then we give faith out of a need to believe that something outside of us can save us. That’s a lie. Too bad for our worlds great religions and the American Dream that money, power, stuff and good looks will get you to the promised land It won’t. It will get you to the lost center of the universe with out a map.

I know I have said this before but it keeps coming back around, if you do not have faith in yourself you can not have real faith in God, or Spirit or anything else out there. If God is unconditional Love and we are the creation of God then we are an extension of the one that created us and to not care for our self or do the work, internally, to claim true faith in our self we are saying by action that God makes messes with us humans and we are the result of that mess. I don’t think so. To take care of our self first is to care for Gods creation. When we are living from our integrity, as a result of having cared for our self, then we are a gift to the world. Our choices, actions, presence are all clean and clear and aligned with the intent of our creator.
Of course our world is coming apart it is based in small minded, fear based, lies and distortions perpetrated by those in power and accepted by people not interested in taking responsibility or even a good look at themselves. Sure we can save the whales or the birds or something else out there but if we do not wake up in consciousness all those creatures we have been saving will come to the same demise as the humans with no good planet to survive on. More Wal marts or better health care or another political party is not going to get that job done for us. We have to do this individually, one person at a time, one day at a time and by sharing our increased awareness and perspectives we will create new communities of awakened people who are living from integrity rather than from beliefs.

Today I led a ceremony on a 1500 year old alter in central Mexico with a group of 25 very accomplished professionals from all walks of American Life. Most of the group was new to ceremony and had never been to an ancient ceremonial center like Teotihuacan. After we were finished they all had a new and greater awareness of what Life, light, awareness and possibility mean to them. Each living their own unique and personal experience, this is one path back to our center, our integrity our freedom and our worlds salvation. This is our mess; Jesus is not going to come flying down out of the clouds to rescue this lazy mess of humanity. We are doing this to our selves and when we decide to stop it we will and not before then. The group on the Alter today has a greater perspective to base their next decision on. That is progress.

Where ever you are, whatever flavor of evolution you might choose for yourself I hope for all of us that you have a path on evolution that you are living. I hope for you that your path holds you accountable for your own salvation. You are the only one that can get you to the dance of the cosmos and what a dance it can be whenever we decide to stop ignoring the calling of the truth to look at how we are all creating this world we live in. Life is as life has always been 100% on our side and all we need to is take that next step toward the unknown. Ready…1, 2, 3, go….

Marmalade Skies

2010-02-15T12:38:00.001-08:00

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,,,,,with tangerine trees and marmalade skies,,,,,,

Looking out the window of this 737 I watch the maze of Mexico City fade into the distance. The sky is blue today, rare in this place of 26million humans. Seems these days wherever the humanity masses the Earth pays a terrible price.

Over the last 12 days I have led a beautiful group of people into and out of the Dreams of a world created over 2000 years ago to serve all of us in awakening to the truth of Divinity as a way of life on Earth. Sounds like some big mystical deal when all it’s about is being what you are really rather than trying to be what you believe you are. The latter takes years of programming and conditioning while the other requires believing nothing.

Imagine there’s no Heaven, it’s easy if you try….no Hell below us, above us only sky…imagine all the people living for today….ah ahhh….

To dare to awaken today from our inherited slumber with its matrix of shadows, false Gods, lies and manipulations is a daunting task and the task we are created for. The truth lives with in, you, me them, us. The truth is in each breath taken, in each thought passing thru from there to hear. We breathe, we feel, we laugh, we cry…we dream and we follow the leader straight into the colorful palaces of Hell. “Come to me”, the painted characters beckon us with promises of security, wealth, pride and accomplishment. We go. Of course we go, it is the dance of the world and the dance must be played out if we are to rewrite it’s riffs and refrains, redirecting the players to a greater dynamic of Magical, mystical, three quarter time, waltzes and rumbas.
“Off with their heads”, the red Queen demands… “Take mine first my Lady, this head of mine has only gotten me deeper and deeper into nowhere”.

All things must pass….George knows. All things must pass away.
Twelve days in the heart of the world according to me. After all we each have our own heart of the world or if we do not then certainly we must rediscover it if we are to remember.

My Sweet Lord, ummm my Lord, ummm my Lord, I really want to see you, really want to be with you.
I hear you today with out even listening, I feel you always without even knowing. I don’t have to look cuse you’ve never not been here. I have remembered with no story to tell.
Stories are great but the truth doesn’t need one, in fact THE TRUTH can’t be found in one, still our stories paint the canvass, connecting the matrix of dreams from day to day, person to person, thought to thought.

The last three days in Mexico I worked with an idea shared by myself and a Producer from L.A. that I met trying to bring a REaliy show to the USA on what real Healing and Recovery can look like. That idea scared people, they couldn’t seem to get their head around it. Go figure, we are in love with the excuses to suffer. It would be against our cultural vows to question the boundaries of what we might be if we dropped ALL the Bull shit.

Our new idea is to create a TV show that follows yours truly around the planet connecting with the Ancient Sacred knowledge and mysteries of the peoples who have never stopped dreaming reality from the depths of their Divinity. To bring the story and beauty of this world’s mystery tradition into Americas living rooms might just fill a void we have suffered from for a long, long time. The culture of the USA has no conscious relationship with Creation or the world that was born of the Mother Earth. We’d rather control and manipulate to maintain our lifestyle and twisted sense of security.
I want to believe that with the great shifts we are living in there would be some awareness and, if only on the deepest level, recognition of the presence of the Creator in the stories and ceremonies reveled through this show. Why not? If we can get as disconnected and insane as we are now surely we can see the opportunity to do something else, if only virtually, sitting in the comfort of our own home.

I was told 12 years ago I could never make my ideas of a treatment center work…and we did. Now I don’t bother to ask for validation, I have too great a faith in where these compelling feelings that morph into ideas come from and I just do it. If God had wanted us to ask each other for permission to follow our own Divinity we would never have been given free will.

Tonight my Mee, Bella, Lola and myself will sleep in our beds in Nashville. We will all Dream with our Mexico and soon, before this year ends, we will travel once again to the next landing zone for the McCormick family Dreams. Maybe L.A., maybe Manhattan, maybe back to Mexico…that will be revealed, no worries.

By now we must be over south Texas, welcome to Gringo Landia. There’s a cloud outside my window that looks like Jim Morrison. “ Before you slip into unconsciousness, I’d love to have another kiss…….” See you in the Dreamtime….

A PRAYER ON THE WALK BACK HOME

2009-11-11T13:43:00.000-08:00

I am just here with you creator , I am just here in you...

First thing this morning I went over to the gate one of Teotihuacan. Whenever I arrive back in Teo I like to go walk through my life there as soon as I can, alone, with myself and my relationship with all that exists there. Today felt interesting as though I am now seeing this place of my awakening from a greater perspective, a less personal more expansive view. As always being in Teotihuacan is more a feeling than a physical experience.

So I walked across the Avenue of the Dead and climbed the steps to the Plaza of Quetzelquatal. Connections come easy here. After some time I said thank you to all that might be listening and moved on up the Avenue of the Dead.

Some hour or so later I arrived at the Alter in front of the Pyramid of the Moon.Itis on this alter that so many have offered back to life all the energies that have been held onto over a life time not realizing that it is our clinging that traps us in our mind and feeds our suffering. Of course we have no idea until we wake up to what we are doing and then it is still a great leap to be willing to let go of all that we define ourselves and our world by.

Sitting on the alter I heard my mantra, one that I picked up in the Catholic Church and have always loved to say to myself and all that listens within me,"Lamb of God take away the sins of the world, have mercy on us, Lamb of God take away the sins of the world, grant us Peace".I was slowly saying my mantra over and over when I was moved to take some Coca leaves from Peru from my bag and hold them with a great open and loving heart sending my prayers into the light that falls on the Peruvian world.Sitting with my eyes closed I heard someone walking up beside me and a gruff almost angry voice said, "Jesus Christ is the way son, Jesus Christ is the only way". Opening my eyes there was a 60 something year old American guy looking down at me like I was da Devil. I guess he couldn't hear my mantra or if he could he wasn't to hot on Catholic prayers..whatever. I just looked at him, there was nothing to say.Evidently he believed we lived in the same world and the truth is we don't.

I closed my eyes and rejoined the love that moves through me wondering if the man would have even cared to know what it was I was praying. I don't think so, who knows, who cares.

Once again I got up and continued my walk through the magical world of Teo eventually ending up in front of the pyramid of the Sun. Climbing the steps to the Alter in front of the Sun I put my attention on the doorway to the ancient cave that rests beneath the Pyramid. Last winter I had the opportunity to spend some time in the cave and that experience shifted my relationship with the Pyramid to something very etheric.

Taking out my bells I gently let the wind ring the bells and dreamed back through the 10 years of personal growth and evolution that I've lived with the Sun as my witness. Opening my eyes I sat and watched people climb and desend the steps to the top, listening to the conversations of the people coming and going.Looking up I saw the man that offered Jesus as the way coming down the steps and right behind him was a Fransiscan Monk and some Nuns, their robes flowing with the breeze. As I looked around there was a Mexican man dressed all in white that was saying prayers to the four directions and the spirits of his world, offering his hands up toward the Pyramid. Many paths, many masters. I just sat and watched.

A few minutes later I realized I was hungry and our Dreaming House has the best food this side of all our little heavens so again I got up and started walking home. On the way the words..."I am just here with you father, I am just here with you, I am just here in you Creator, I am just here in you....and that is the truth.

Vaya Con Dios.......

PUTTING TWO AND TWO TOGETHER

2009-10-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

Many of you have seen this video of Jill Bolte Taylor, some may have read her book. I did. What I find interesting here is when you overlay her experiences of consciousness on top of the "recovery" process.
We have multi-dimensional realities and perceptions within us. The traditional recovery process gives only surface level attention to the deeper aspects of our consciousness. What we suffer from is our loss of awareness and conscious connection with our greater Consciousness. We are huge creative beings that have been born into a "reality" that is very small minded and literal in interpretation interaction. Living disconnected from our right brain consciousness is certainly enough of a loss of true reality to cause great discomfort and even more disturbing a very skewed perception of our self, the world , others, potential, etc.... Reality is not literal , reality is more dream like than reasonable.
We speak of evidenced based and research proven when all those two terms imply is that someone watched and measured the cause and effect of a particular interaction in a particular set up. The results are specific to the test and we have been taught to place studies done by institutions or Corporations ahead of the opportunities presented by living day to day experience with people in their own personal process. I believe what I see and feel not what I am told by so called experts or University/ Big Pharma Studies. I am completely responsible for what I choose to believe and how I allow my beliefs to limit or expand my awareness and also how I apply my craft in working with others.
Dr. Taylor's experience is so beautiful in that we hear the experience and see the awareness of one who has bridged the two aspects of her one mind into a whole. Unless you have a balanced connection between the two you will miss out on at least half of what Life is offering. When we live disconnected from great aspects of our consciousness we will live out of balance and when we live out of balance long enough we settle into that condition as though it were "normal". Living out of balance will also cause discomfort and suffering that we;ll then only be able to identify from our distorted left brained perspective. You see the choices we perceive are limited by the awareness we live from. Small awareness small choices, greater awareness greater choices.
We can not offer what we do not have. As professionals in the healing arts we are subject to the same limited ways of thinking, perceiving and living as our clients and the culture as a whole. If we are to be more than a band aid to the issues then we must be willing to stretch beyond the limitations of left Brain knowledge. We must be the Change we want to see in our clients and the world and live it or we aren't offering anything but a better version of the same ol' hell. This is our opportunity to not be satisfied with what has become acceptable as a profession and go for the freedom that is so clearly what Dr. Taylor found, within herself , as a result of her experience. Maybe you'll watch this video and consider what are you living as reality and how much of your time and attention do you give to the greater aspects of your consciousness. We have settled long enough, now is the opportunity to live from our greater awareness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyyjU8fzEYU

Seeing Through the Shadows

2009-10-08T07:36:00.000-07:00

My wife tells me I am never home, I'm always going somewhere. Yes, I am going somewhere a lot. Twice this year to Peru, three times to Teotihuacan, Mexico, a couple times to New York City. Sometimes I feel like I am gone from home and sometimes I feel more at home in the places of great mystery than I do in the world that is so familiar and set in it's ways. What I miss are my girls and my wife not the structure, rigid reality and supposed security of the United States.

I have found what I'll call levels in experience and reality through my living so many journeys and opportunities to expand and challenge myself and my perceptions. In this world there are great shadows cast across the landscapes that we have been taught to perceive as reality. Shadows like Cultural dynamics and religious attachments, definitions, titles,Power and self importance. Shadows like the projections of our beliefs onto the worlds stage which we then seek to either have validated or we respond in judgement needing to defend our having given precious faith to those beliefs when beliefs are never truth in the absolute sense. Truth does not need our distorted beliefs to be present and alive in our lives.Our beliefs are very small, thin, desperate attempts to feel secure. Truth is what we are ,we are life's' expression as human with all that Human entails.Beliefs are generated from our need to "know", our need to believe we are "safe" and that the next move can be predictable. We believe out of fear because we have no real relationship with the freedom that Faith in Life, faith in ourselves, offers.

I get frustrated with all the resistance of moving though the quagmire of beliefs that suffocate this world.Must be my Scottish blood and the past generations of Warriors with all their lust for battle when anyone came to squelch their personal freedom with some doctrine of irrelevant beliefs that were offered as an option to the freedom of spirit that they lived for.

The Humanity has traded Spiritual freedom for the weak association of like minded "Spiritual" beliefs. Beyond our attachment to belief is that no mans land of learning to live the tight rope of just being in life without attachment. Freedom can only be found through faith in life before faith in Belief. It is tricky to take the power of faith away from the mind which has for so long been the moderator of fear and our defender of the unknown.When we fall into automatically believing our minds thoughts we will soon be lost in the traps of self importance, self doubt, fear and the need to defend our attachments to our beliefs.Before we know it we are living in our head rather than in the flow of the true reality that surrounds us.

As an aspect of a journey to New York City last year we went to see THE LION KING on Broadway. The participants were a bit skeptical, after all, LION KING is supposed to be a kids show. By the end of that evening they got it. The Shadow lands of that beautiful show were our inheritance if we should lose our connection to our own Divinity and the mystery of consciousness. Life is a great mystery. The Native Americans knew that and so lived in relation with all living things not as the separate and self righteous manipulators of all that surrounds us as modern man has done.We are not separate and apart and will now and for years to come pay the price of our self indulgent ignorance. Cause and effect...Life is as simple as cause and effect.Life is not personal as our victim minded cultures would have us believe. There is no true judgement from God or life merely simple cause and effect and life's own unique flow. To take life personally requires we see ourselves and separate and apart rather than a simple aspect of the whole.

As I live my journeys I experience greater and greater expansion of perception and the melting away of beliefs as my guide. In the moment there is my awareness and Life as it moves through me. I have no need to know, as I am there in it , with it, I am free...knowing takes me from that awareness, from that freedom, into the virtual reality of my small minded thinking.

There is a shift happening. This is the time where all of Mans attachments to life as a definition will be broken apart and the power and greater frequency of Consciousness will offer freedom from our paradigms of fear and belief. It sure is going to be interesting to live this transition.That is our call. There will be no not participating...we will either move with the coming awakening or live in our own terror of it.

How attached are you to your world? Like the followers of the Christ who walked away from everything they had known in life to follow the light within, we are all being offered the invitation to let go and walk into the light of life beyond the limitations of our beliefs.It is a good day to die as the old warriors would call riding into battle...Ahieeeeee

LIGHTNING DREAMS

2009-08-07T12:39:00.001-07:00

I was sleeping, dreaming away into the night. The thunder called me back into this world. Lightning, thunder, raindrops hitting the roof and the windows trying to find a way through to the earth below.

With each bolt of lightning I was seeing the temple of the Lightning Priestess in Machu Pichu. She was standing, a silhouette, reaching out to me through the layers of consciousness that separate our worlds. My body was vibrating to the lightning energy that sparkled in the air, electricity connecting the worlds through light and awareness, her calling and my feeling the call, wanting to go and afraid to let go.

As suddenly as she was there she was gone, my mind had stepped back in between the space of the worlds and I was a once again a body on Earth, separate and apart from the connection to the infinite worlds of the dreamers.

I visited Machu Pichu for the second time last March. My first night in the Sacred Valley of the Incas, I had dreamed of a great lightning storm moving across the horizon, moving towards me. I was not alone. There was a barn with several horses directly in front of me. As dream worlds go the separation of depth, land, structures animals was not as limited by definition or perception as this world of every day Human life. The lightning was first white, spider webbing across the sky, filling the distance with it’s eerie light. As I watched the lightning moved toward me.slowly, creeping across the landscape. Then it shifted to a soft yellow color, still spider webbing, filling the sky with light. Suddenly, I realized the lightning was coming to me, I could hear it’s voice; feel it’s watching me. The horses began to whinny and get nervous so I ran to turn them out before the storm came over us, this was not a safe place for them, I thought, for some reason though I new I was supposed to be there. The horses were my old friends, the ones I had been close to when my life had been so sad and lost. They had been my companions and in a lot of ways my guardians. They had done their calling and it was time for them to go. Opening the gates they took off, I always-loved turning out the horses and watching them run for the hills.

As they disappeared into the night the lightning cracked again filling the sky with its webs of light. This time the lightning was blue, a beautiful soft blue and it covered the sky above my head. I was suddenly afraid so I got down on the ground and curled up in a ball as the space around me was electrified by the energy of the living lightning. I could feel the rain falling over me in a blessing way and then I woke up. I was in my bed in the Sacred Urubamba Valley, the mirror of the Milky Way. This was Peru and the lightning had just welcomed me, an initiation according to my Peruano friend Jorge Luis Delgado.

On my first journey to Peru the previous February I had visited the temple of the lightning Priestess in Machu Pichu and felt embraced and welcomed in much the same way as I feel the Love of the Mother at the Basilica of Guadalupe in Mexico City. This was a bit different though this was sensual and male to female with the female having the power of the lightning running through her veins. After that journey, whenever I thought of Peru I could feel myself still sitting before the great rock face of the Lightning Priestess temple.

Here she had come to me again, reaching out through the dimensions to my little trailer at The Ranch in Tennessee. On a warm July night she had come with her light and mystery to call on me. I am returning to Peru the end of September, just 6 weeks away, and once again I’ll go to her temple and sit giving my attention and love to that place and the magical Mountains surrounding Machu Pichu.

The Peruvian Shaman say she was the most powerful witch in all of Machu Pichu, that her body was found buried standing up looking out over the Sacred City and all it’s mystery.

In a few days I’ll return home to Teotihuacan and Mexico. I’ll be back where my great awakening came through the unconditional Love of the City of The Gods and the warm hearts of the Mexican people. Living between the worlds has become my way. I can honestly say the world I was raised to be a part of was never very interesting to me so it’s only fitting that I found a separate reality to walk through. I don’t know that one is better or worse than the other, but I find one to be much more interesting than the other and both come together to offer such opportunity and Sweetness. Maybe we are, as many of the Indigenous cultures say, a bridge between the worlds. That works for me. So the next time you see a great lightning storm stop and sit with all your attention turned toward the life that’s there in the storm. You might get a glimpse of the one that lives there.

No Matter What Anybody Says

2009-07-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

No Matter what anybody says the whole deal comes down to my relationship with my heart. If I give my power away to anything else before the integrity of my heart I will be moving away from my center.

Lately I am feeling everything around and in me with a new freshness. Like the frequency of clarity of the Heart has come into a higher vibration.

I was sitting out on our front porch this morning, on Estes Road in Nashville, feeling like my Love for Mexico was swallowing me up when a gust of wind blew through the Elm trees and a Mockingbird landed on the power line above my head. She had a fat bug in her beak and sat for a minute looking right at me. I heard her, "nothing to miss, we are all coming back together now...keep feeling it and follow your feeling...the worlds great separation is burning away in the new light of the Sun." She then resumed her bird life and flew away. Consciousness speaking as consciousness does through any form that's available til we don't need a form to get us to listen.

I have fallen in Love so many times in my life and more times than not I've fallen in Love with places, Oceans, Beaches, Mountains, Horses, People, Mysteries, feelings, a touch, a hug, a little girls laugh.

For many years falling in Love was a sideline to my "real" life. Something that spiced up the situation then I'd get back to re'al'i'ty...I never had a clue I could just follow the falling in love and live a life from that calling. That's the deal today. I can't seem to stick with anything that's not from my numerous love affairs. Mexico, Ceremony, my family, best friends, inspirations all leave my cellular structure dancing like a bug on a light bulb.

Something is happening here, what is is ain't exactly clear and that's the coolest part...we have to have faith in our calling and our ability to bring what we love to Earth with us. That is the rebirth of Heaven on Earth and that's the Deal...BOOGIE ONWARD...Lee

Two Dog Night- An Evening With Eddie George and Jeff Obafemi Carr

2009-07-22T09:43:00.000-07:00

We are not what we believe we are. We are not what we do in this world. Our lives appear to be happening in the physical sense and are certainly experienced in a physical sense and we are so much more than our physical manifestation of form, we are the one experiencing that form.

Eddie George is an amazing athlete, a damn good actor, and much more than that. Jeff Obafemi Carr is a cool, gifted, actor, artist and he is much more than that.We are not the roles we play in life and we bring those roles too life like magic. We live our roles with such passion and feeling that we fall under our own spell, believing that we have become the role. This is the basis of theater being believable,the passion and life force of the actor living the role , being the role, expressing the character with heart and soul.Believing the role is the foundation of that suspension of belief that brings the audience into the dream of the actor.

Being human is a grand form of theatrical staging. We are born into the world and are not of the world. We inherit a legacy specific to our place , time and circumstance of birth. That legacy is then carried forward through life, developed , evolved, lived,healed, perpetrated, transformed all depending on what we as individuals bring to our characters development. We inherit a role and then we choose how that role will evolve or not.

The true experience of life happens within us. The interactions from the outside are interfaced with the presence on the inside. We are all actors and most of us don't have a clue. We take this world and our physicality so seriously that we lose our connection to the truth that is our presence within, our spirit our life force our consciousness. The Love that we are is abandoned for the sake of what we have been told and have come to believe about ourselves based on what the world outside of us holds as truth and experience.

There is an old Native American tale about the two wolves that dwell within each of us and how the one we choose to feed is the one that prospers.We take on the characteristics of what we "believe " about ourselves. Once we attach to a belief we then see the world according to that belief and seek out support to make our belief the truth. Problem is that our need to be "right" distorts our perception to the point that we no longer see clearly, rather, we see through our own investment in the belief we have attached to.We are the ultimate expression of the character actors art.We create our role, step into it, and then forget that we are acting.

As talented as Jeff and Eddie are they both know when they walk off the stage it takes a few minutes to de-role from their art and ground themselves in their inner spirit.If they were to continue to play out their characters in the world people would say they were nuts, crazy, eccentric...they know the difference and so when they are in character they are 100% there, believable, dynamic. When they go home they are the light within living as Human.

Seeing Two Dog Night was reality check in dedication and art form. Great actors know they are not just the role they play and they have the ability to be that role 100% for the sake of their art, like a special forces solider giving 100% to the mission.The ego is set aside and the expression is spirit on stage. They are actors and they are much more. They are men and they are much more. We are Humans and we are much more.

These are very interesting times. The roles many of us have lived, believing that's what we are, are being rewritten while we are still learning our original lines. We can't count on what we were told as kids being there as rock solid base lines to live by. The nature of the game is changing. The reality we demand be safe and sound is becoming liquid and slippery. Fear says "better find something to hold on to" and life says "better get comfortable with letting go".Faith is recreating itself from being where we go out of fear and need for security to the living expression of not needing to "know" before we say yes to life's opportunities.

If you are ever in Nashville you might check out the Amun Ra Theater and it's offerings of life lived creatively.The roles you'll see acted out there are directed by the heart and the spirit, that's an example we can all learn from. Check them out at http://web.mac.com/jeffocarr/iWeb/amunratheatre/Welcome.html

Now, Sayulita

2009-06-10T18:18:00.000-07:00

Mee is at don Pedros hanging with the MANGO MAMA'S. I'm sitting at the bar in Lalo and ginas playing with the computer and listening to the sounds of our world. Little girls playing in the pool , trucks on the dirt road outside the walls, and birds and waves breaking.

Everything about what I've called cool in life is offering me an engraved invitation to finish my work in Tennessee and come back home to Mexico and get busy here with what I love doing. I told my friend Dana Walden today that there are opportunities coming from 12 different directions , none of which you can see, and I'm so on it to follow my faith into the sunset.

Maybe what I've considered at times is going to be real, that is ...thru healing ways we humans will finally let go of our differences being the basis of perception and live with sharing experiences being the foundation. Good set up for an American guy to come to Mexico and streach his world to allow SPIRIT to create with him in a new reality. You can take TV's from culture to culture but healing ways are pretty sacred and we aren't very open to healing anyway unless we have had a taste.

So, Lalo sends me pics of an old Hacienda some where in Old Mexico. This after, yesterday, seeing the most beautiful compound here in Puerto Vallarta that for sure we want to create an Integrative Healing/ Recovery Center at.

What is so cool is that we humans are close to realizing that we can recreate our world any way we choose and we can make that choosing a rockin deal.All of that is coming and the admission price is we have to undo our attachment to being ..in reaction, the victum, less than, pissed off, drama queens...etc...we must get over the ourselves we've created for ourselves and come to believe we are and we aren't.

We are such suckers we really should not be allowed to believe anything for a time out. Ok wn't happen...but....So hey, whats coming to you that you won't get out of the way for? The only one keeps us from doing what we want is us. Vaya con dios.....

Key One#1. give More attention to where you are going than to where you have been.

Practice Key one for a while and lets see what happens.....

ETERNAL NOW-ADYASHANTI

2009-06-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

***** My friend Maru sent this poem and all the words needed are set in perfect place and time...enjoy the gift of a master....

Eternal Now

Take a moment

to check and see if you are actually here.

Before there is right and wrong

we are just here.

Before there is good or bad, or unworthy,

and before there is the sinner or saint,

we are just here.

Just meet here, where silence is-

where the stillness inside dances.

Just here, before knowing something, or not knowing.

Just meet here where all points of view merge into one point,

And the one point disappears.

Just see if you can meet right now

where you touch the eternal,

and feel the eternal living and dying at each moment.

Just meet here-

before you were an expert,

before you were a beginner.

To just be here,

where you are what you always will be,

where you will add anything to this,

or subtract anything.

Meet here, where you want nothing,

and where you are nothing.

The here that is unspeakable.

Where we meet only mystery to mystery,

or we don´t meet at all.

Meet here where you find yourself

by not finding yourself.

In this place where quietness is deafening,

and the stillness moves to fast to catch it.

Meet here where you are what you want

and you want what you are

and everything falls away into radiant emptiness.

ADYASHANTI

A Warriors Call

2009-05-30T08:12:00.000-07:00

We were awake at 3am. Plan was to get to the Nashville airport by 7:30 to make a flight to Palm Beach , a little work and a little beach time. I could feel Lola's feet on my back in the night and knew she was hot, another fever, another cold. Laying awake in bed before sunrise I went through the possibilities of what we might do rearranging our June schedule to fit it all in. No worries, all the choices were great so what does the order matter.

Being a Dad is my closest connection to God. I can't imagine loving more than I love these little girls...all my girls, from 26 to 2. Lola, Bella, Ana , Alexis and now two granddaughters, Sydney and Avery.Unconditional love is always with me just under the surface of my relationship to the world I live in outside of me.

Feeling Lola's feet didn't make for an Oh No , We can't go reaction...in fact I just felt how much I love having this little character for a daughter and her Mom for my wife.

My main reason in flying to Palm Beach was to see a man I respect and feel a connection to cuse we have both done our best to create a doorway for those trying to undo their addictions and suffering for the sake of living a life they love. Call it recovery if you want..I'm not sure that word is accurate..doesn't really matter, it is the evolution of our human legacy and Don Mullaney and I have very different looking approaches to our work while both work from that place within us that is so grateful for our life and transformation that we had to share that gratitude the best way we know how. Really very simple and sometimes very challenging when you can't settle for less than what you feel is the best for your people, the ones we serve in our work.

From the outside we don't appear to have much at all in common but I would bet you through the eyes of God we look like two brothers who have their own style and way of getting the job done.One thing I have come to see and know about the truth of life, looks don't have anything to do with substance and real truth brings great respect and honor with it. Among warriors there is always a mutual respect that will come forward at some point, whether in victory or defeat, in argument or agreement, true warriors live for the closeness to life's integrity, a closeness that being the warrior brings.Going with the flow is usually just an annoyance to a warrior. We do it to get in position to act sometimes but I don't think we ever like it.

Being a warrior is sure not a popularity contest either. Popularity is another one of those social conventions that seems to breed soft, lazy actors rather than solid courageous Characters, warriors. I've become such a jackass these days that I almost don't trust anybody who is too popular in any field, recovery,politics, film, music, doesn't matter, authenticity brings uniqueness and social compliance as a culture has a hard time with unique.It also has a hard time with the truth.

When I realized we couldn't make the flight this morning I came down stairs and got online cancelling the flight and re-booking the Singer Island Hilton for the end of June. I'm going to see Don Mullaney, the exact day is not the point.

Many times in my life I have had powerful feelings that I needed to do something and wouldn't "understand " why..today I know that is God directing me and I don't need to understand why. Actually it's more fun not knowing, I get to figure it out as I move forward, with faith, rather than believing a head full of bullshit thinking I know something.

Palm Beach will be there and I'll play on that sugar white sand beach with my girls and visit my warrior compadre...sometimes we need to check in with each other because we are here to learn and share who we are with each other as individuals not as business people or friends or any other roles we have given so much value to. We need to check in Man to man, human to human..life to life.

Today I'm going to The Ranch and work with some wild two year old colts of ours...Now that's a mirror of Spirit for you, a two year old colt all fat and wide eyed.

To all the warriors out there I salute you and look forward to meeting you along the way...we do recognize each other and there aren't that many of us in circulation these days. To death I say "I see you and when the time comes we'll dance and sing an old Sweatlodge song to the Great Mystery" Weyah hey hey Weyah Hey......