LIVING MINDFULLY

Meeting fear with acceptance and wisdom

2015-09-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

"If we do not turn inwards and train our mind, but instead expend all our energy on arranging and rearranging the external aspects of our existence, then our suffering will continue."

We often worry about things beyond our control. So, if there's something I'm ruminating over, I often find it helpful to ask the question "How can I help myself right now?"

The practice of mindfulness helps us to stay present, for our lived experience. As we practice mindfulness we are learning to respond to life in ways that are helpful, instead of reacting in ways that create suffering.

In order to help ourselves, we must first be aware of how we are relating, to what is happening our lives. The first place we need to turn towards, is our inner experience. Taking a moment to connect with our lived experience in body, mind and heart is essential.
Pausing, we connect with the breath, notice the quality of attention. With a real committment to be mindful to what is happening we ask:

Is the mind scattered?
What are the quality of thoughts? Worried, agitated, restless
How is the body? Are there areas of tension perhaps in the shoulders, hands, or face?
What about the breathing? Is the breath shallow or tight?
Is there constriction or heaviness in the heart area?
As you notice what you are holding in the mind, begin to allow thoughts to fade into the background and gently focus on the breath.
Breathing in, feel the breath come into the nostrils, chest and belly.
See if you can soften tension in the body and heart by breathing in and then softening on the exhale.
Relax tension wherever you can.
Feel sensations in the body and watch how they shift and change.
If you're overwhelmed, use the breath as an anchor to keep you in the present moment. Breathing in, stay present, breathing out, let go and soften where possible.
Use the following mantra by the Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh " Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.”

As we connect with our lived experience, we let go of living in stories or thoughts about how lfe should be and come to accept it the way it is. This is a very important shift, as we are able to connect, with the aliveness, energy and vibrant body, heart and mind. It is only when we open in this intimate way, that we can help ourselves. Otherwise, we're caught in the trap of trying to fix, rescue, dismiss or avoid what is happening in our lives. We're reacting instead of responding. Ultimately, we are trying to control that which we don't like, or we're clinging and trying to keep that which we like.

Underneath the need for control is fear

Underneath the need for control, is the wanting to know how things are going to be in the future. Questions arise about how long this good feeling, relationship or situation will last. We want to feel safe and so it follows, that if we know what is going to happen, we can some how prevent it. While there is some truth to this, it's also true that we can't predict every outcome. Nor should we! Life is constantly changing and nothing is permanent. Every day we age a little bit more. People get sick, we lose loved ones, a job or material wealth. Many things can happen, that are beyond our control and this is the nature of life. We can't predict what is going to happen as we move through our day. We can plan as best we can and then let go. The more we try to control the more we suffer.

In learning to plan and then take our hands off the controls, we learn to be connected to the life that's right here! In shifting, from future or past, to present moment awareness we can begin to respond from a place of wisdom instead of a place of worry and catastrophizing. So the real question is can you live with the I don't know.

As Philip Moffitt, a Meditation Teacher at Spirit Rock states, "The proper response is when fear is present is threefold:

Continual mindfulness of the fear,
Deep compassion for the suffering it is causing,
Cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it.

You will find that the dharma will do the rest.

May you be well

The proper response is threefold: continual mindfulness of the fear, deep compassion for the suffering it is causing, and cultivation of equanimity that allows you to stay with it. You will find that the dharma will do the rest. - See more at: http://dharmawisdom.org/teachings/articles/freedom-fear#sthash.M3wYxldF.dpuf

See Life as it Truly is...let go of black and white thinking...

2015-04-22T08:14:00.000-07:00

Beyond views of right/wrong there is life....

Sometimes we get caught up in seeing life as right/wrong, good/bad or through the filter of should/shouldn't. We judge ourselves or others and use labels such as he is good/kind or mean/bad person. These labels create separation and pain and we miss out on seeing the whole person. We see the behavior not the person. We are all human and made up of light and shadow. Sometimes our actions come from a place of love, kindness and understanding. Sometimes our actions come from hurt, resentment, and pain. Meeting pain with more pain (judgment and shame) leads to disconnection and suffering. Looking at each other as humans who are vulnerable, who have a need for love and connection can help us soften our reactivity and defensiveness.

Today take the opportunity to really look...see the person beyond the behavior...look with compassion, love and understanding. It is often when we open our hearts, when we're vulnerable that we can see beyond the surface. Sometimes we label because we ourselves are afraid of getting hurt. Take time to really connect with what is happening within you as you connect with the world
.
I love this poem by Rumi which speaks to this:

Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,

the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase each other

doesn't make any sense.

May you be peaceful...

Nourish the heart through mindfulness...

2015-03-26T12:07:00.000-07:00

"Mindlessness is about living on automatic pilot. Your relying on the distinctions and categories that you drew in the past, so the past is determining the present. You're trapped in a single perspective... All the while you're oblivious to this, you're insensitive to context and perspective. You have rules and routine that are guiding you — governing what you're doing — that may not make any sense any longer. " Ellen Langer, Social Psychologist

Living Mindfully vs. Mindlessly

Living mindfully means that we move through life with a real and profound awareness of how we are responding to life. Instead of living life on auto pilot we begin to feel more connected to our internal experience (breathing, moving, feeling, seeing, etc.) and our external world (nature, people, sounds, etc.). Living mindfully means that we stop living in aworld of virtual thoughts and connect with the world around and within us.

When we live mindlessly we move through life in a world of thoughts, opinions and beliefs and we react to world based on what we are thinking. It's almost like living in a trance or like being a hamster on the ever moving wheel of life. We're constantly moving without a break. This constant doing creates stress, tension and has negative effects on our over all emotional, physical and mental health. We often don't even notice, until we end up in the doctor's office or find ourselves emotionally overwhelmed.

Some examples of moving through life mindlessly are:

Driving to work so caught up in thoughts that you don't notice your surroundings and don't even remember driving!
At the end of the day you get home and automatically move onto the next thing to do. (i.e. fixing dinner, helping kids with homework.)
Your on vacation and instead of relaxing and enjoying time off, you're worrying about what's happening in the office.
Your spouse is speaking to you and instead of listening, you're thinking about what you're going to make for dinner.

I could go on and on but I think you get the point!

Mindfulness helps us feel connected, alive and awake...

There are so many ways in which we disconnect from the life around us and live in a world of constant thinking, planning and doing. Practicing mindfulness doesn't mean life comes to a halt. On the contrary, life goes on no matter what you're doing so doesn't it make sense to be present for your life? Every moment is precious, yet we can take this for granted and put off focusing on the things that matter in order to get more done. When we practice mindfulness it actually helps us to be much more present; connected to our body, breath and heart as we move through our day. It could be as simple as noticing the sun shining, the warmth of the sun on your skin, the feel of the wind in your hair or the sounds of birds singing as you walk to your car. We notice the aliveness in our body as we move and walking to the car we actually notice what it feels like to walk on the earth. We allow ourselves to connect with others and feel that connection in our body and heart. Such as the joy of seeing a loved on at the end of the day or actually feeling the warmth of a hug or the softness of a kiss. It's also about tuning in and being present in body, mind and heart as you connect with loved ones. Listening in this way deepens our heart to heart connection. So instead of listening with the intention to fix, rescue, defend, or judge we listen to support, understand and feel compassion or joy. We allow ourselves to connect through our gaze and we see into instead of past the person in front of us. Our lived experience becomes richer and more intimate when we are present and open to our moment to moment felt experience. This helps us to connect and respond to what's happening within us and in our external world in a way that is healing and nourishing.

It doesn't mean we stop thinking, planning and doing. It means we have more choice about where we place our attention. And we are much more attuned to the state of our body, mind and heart. We see more clearly, have more energy and respond to life from a place of wisdom instead of fear, worry or anxiety. It actually helps us to see when we are caught up in our emotions, thoughts or stories and we find ways to reconnect with our body, mind and heart. Some ways are by focusing on breathing, sensations in the body or the quality of the thinking mind. Tuning in with a real desire for our own well-being we become more conscious and aware of how to help ourselves reconnect with the life that is right here. This actually helps us to notice if we've been living from auto pilot and wakes us up so that we reconnect and move through our day with a more awake, alert and compassionate presence.

Create opportunities to be mindful. Contemplate the following:

Pause what you're doing and close your eyes. Feel the sensation of the breath coming into the body. Notice the parts of your body move as you breathe... feel the coolness of the breath around your nostrils... the expansion of the chest, lungs and belly on the inhale and the sensation of letting go on the exhale... Breathe in spaciousness...breathe out and soften on the exhale.
When you're driving, make it a point to notice your surroundings. Notice and name 5 new things you see.
As you bathe feel the water against your skin. Pause to take in the scent and silkiness of the soap.
When you hug a loved one allow yourself to feel the warmth and contact of your body against theirs.
As you plan notice how the mind feels (busy, worried, contracted, open, excited) notice how the body responds to these feelings (tense, joyful, scared), what is the breathing like (shallow, deep, tight). Tune into the sensations in the body and see if there's a need to pause. Close your eyes and center yourself before continuing this activity.

When we learn to connect mindfully to the life both within and outside of us, we lessen reactivity and move towards responding in ways that are healing and compassionate. We turn off the cruise control and connect with the energy, aliveness and compassion that is such an important part of living wholeheartedly. Our appreciation for all of life grows and we are able to face challenges with wisdom and compassion.

Until next time...May you live with ease and peace...

Meditation as a grounding practice...

2014-12-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

Why do we meditate?
Is it to better ourselves in some way so that we can have lasting happiness?

If you sit down to meditate with a set goal such as to be happy it can turn into an exercise in frustration. Making time to meditate means we're getting off the fast track through life so that we can connect with the life that is right here. We open to our lived experience, right here, right now. Sometimes it's more challenging than others as when we get swept away by our emotions and stories. Sometimes this can feel as if we are in the middle of a tornado and unable to see things clearly. Sitting down to meditate in the midst of emotional chaos with a set expectation regarding the outcome is not meditation. It's instead another way of resisting what is happening in our lives at the moment. When we are trying to make something happen it's usually because we are in some way resisting life. Instead if we approach meditation with the intention to help ourselves. We get off the reactivity ride and shift to responding in a way that helps us open to what is happening within us.

Meditation is a practice that helps us stay connected to our lived experience moment to moment. It is a practice that can help us learn to stay grounded and calm instead of reactive and agitated. It's when we open our awareness to explore what is going on within, without judging ourselves that we can reconnect with life as it is. We let go of defensive reactions and come into direct contact with the vulnerability that lies beneath the defense. We stop living life like a character in a novel.

Notice when you're caught up in a story...

I like to say that we're great storytellers and have a habit of taking events that happen in our lives and making up stories about what it means. As a result we sometimes end up living like a character in a novel. In reality, things that happen in the world around us aren't about us. When we take things personally and react by blaming, criticizing or getting defensive we escalate the pain that then leads to suffering. Meditation practice can help us notice how that reactivity is affecting our body, mind and heart. If I'm hurt and I sit down to meditate, instead of focusing on the situation or person that triggered the hurt I can begin to notice how the hurt shows up in my body. I pause...breathe and notice is there tension in my body? Is there a heaviness around my heart? I tune into the breath and notice if there is tension or pressure there. I begin to breathe in bringing compassion to the hurt. As I breathe in and allow the hurt to be there and meet it with compassion and acceptance. The intention is to turn towards the pain instead of lashing out at others. When I am able to do this it helps me to reground myself, to soothe the emotions. It also allows me to see when I am caught up in a story filled with defensiveness and reactivity. With this awareness I can begin to respond in healing ways. Meditation can help you develop the capacity to help yourself stay connected to life instead of the midst of a story about life.

Meditation is the path that helps us come back into balance with body, mind, heart and life. It's not about perfecting ourselves, it's about freeing ourselves from the stories and reactions that can keep us stuck and disconnected from the vibrant life that is right here.

May you be peaceful

Music to calm body, mind and heart...

2014-12-08T14:55:00.000-08:00

The healing and calming power of music...

We find music not just by playing instruments or listening to songs but also in nature. Walk in the forest and you'll hear a natural symphony of sounds made up of birds, insects, wind, and rain.

The composers of centuries ago often composed their music based on the sounds of nature. So music is a natural part of the world. It can also be healing, energizing and calming. Sometimes it can help in healing and soothing physical, mental and emotional pain. Other times we listen for the joy of it. Either way it can really help us shift out of a stressful state if we open to the experience of listening with body, mind and heart.

Whether listening to an orchestra, a song on the internet or the natural sound so of nature, pausing to listen and really take in these sounds can have a powerful healing effect on the body, mind and heart. It is a movement towards opening our senses and truly allowing the sounds to resonate within the body. This pausing along with tuning into our senses and receiving the sound of music can allow us to experience deep moments of peace and contentment. This in turn can help the body restore and revitalize the bodies energy and release built up tension.

Music during Restorative Yoga can help alleviate tension...

I teach yoga in a beautiful studio called Shanti 3 Yoga in Weston, Florida. As a yoga teacher I find that using music during a restorative yoga class helps calm and release the stress and tension that builds up in the body, mind and heart as we move through our hectic and busy lives. As the music plays, I invite students to soften the tension in their bodies and allow the soothing sound of the music to flow through them. This approach is different from mindfulness meditation as during meditation when we sit on the cushion the intention is open to inner experience and stay present with what is happening without pushing anything away or clinging to it. Both practices are powerful and both are paths towards healing, clearing the mind and opening the heart. For the purposes of this post I'm focusing on music as a healing modality.

Restorative yoga at home...

You don't have to come into a yoga studio to experience the calming and soothing effects of music. You can try it at home. I'm including a link to a beautiful song that you can play as you lay in a restorative pose.

You can choose to lay on the mat, on your back (shavasana pose) with a blanket under your head for comfort, an eye pillow to cover the eyes and calm the mind and a blanket to help keep you feeling relaxed and warm.

Turn the lights down. Lay on your mat and begin to connect with the sensation of the breath. Allow the breath to soften tension and stress in the body, mind and heart. Play the music with the intention of letting go of worries and concerns. Stay on the mat for at least 15 minutes or as long as you like and notice how you feel at the end of this practice.

May you live with ease and peace...

Shift from reacting to responding with a compassionate heart...

2014-12-02T12:52:00.000-08:00

Whether you're aware of it or not we all have our hots spots or sensitive issues that go off when we're triggered by some action, word, sight or sound that sets off any feeling of pain or discomfort. I say that our default button is set on react and defend rather than relate and respond when we get triggered. It's not you're fault, my fault or anyone's. It's a survival mechanism that's helped us survive since we've been on this planet. So the problem isn't this survival mechanism. The problem starts when we are reacting to things that aren't dangerous and life threatening as if they were. When this happens I say that our default button is hyper sensitive and becomes trigger happy. When we react to situations, thoughts, external events as if they are a threat we suffer. We suffer because the moment we're triggered and go into reactive mode we either push others away, withdraw and isolate ourselves or attack with words of physical violence. So the thing that we are usually seeking, which is safety becomes elusive because of our actions. (unless you are really in danger such as being stalked by a lion, or someone is trying to mug you in which case you need to react!) It's not just safety we're seeking it is also connection. We want to feel heard, seen, understood and loved. Both safety and connection are essential to our well-being. Without them our emotional and physical well being suffers. So how do we help ourselves?

Notice what happens to your body, mind and heart when you are triggered...

One way is to begin to notice what happens to your body, mind and heart when you get triggered. What triggered you isn't as important as your reaction to the trigger. So you can get caught up in the content or story or you can begin to notice how you are reacting to the situation. For example, say that I am on my way to meeting and am running late. As I get on the expressway I notice that traffic is very slow and I end up stuck in a traffic jam for the next 30 minutes. I can either spend those 30 minutes cursing the traffic and drivers around me, beating myself up for not leaving earlier, feeling angry at my boss for scheduling a meeting at this time or I can begin to notice how I'm reacting to the situation. I might notice that my muscles are tense and I feel anxiety in my belly. Instead of feeding the anxiety with worry thoughts, I might begin to breathe and allow the anxiety to be there. Along with being present with these feelings I can bring a feeling of compassion to the anxiety in acknowledgment that this is a moment of suffering. Being compassionate is what helps alleviate the suffering and it can also help to calm the body, mind and heart. Just like this small example there are many different examples that you can use from your own life to help yourself during times of stress and suffering. These moments are pivotal in learning how to shift from living mindlessly and reacting to life to living mindfully and responding to pain with a compassionate and wakeful presence. One keeps you stuck in a place of pain and the other helps you respond to pain and move through it in a compassionate way.

Learn to cultivate a peaceful and loving heart...

See the world with an open and awakened heart instead of a judgmental, stressed out and reactive body, mind and heart.

Take breaks throughout your day to be present in your body and pause the torrents of thoughts, stories and reactions.
You might practice with one word such as Peace...breathe in peace...breathe out peace

This is a gift of living, breathing and being present and connected with this precious life around and within. Practice compassion and loving kindness to live mindfully and awaken the heart.

May you be peaceful

Meditation is...

2014-10-13T13:39:00.001-07:00

Post by Wisdom Pills.

When Meditating...

Be patient
Be kind
Listen to the inner world of sensation

Offer good will towards yourself
Send it out to others
Open your heart to...
Compassion

Connect with the mind
That is spacious like the sky
Watch thoughts flow in and out
Feel the breath flow in and out
The ebb and flow of emotions and energy

Notice what it's like right here
Right now
Open, stable, attentive
In the moment

C. Ricardo 10-13-14

In Search of Happiness?

2014-10-02T16:59:00.006-07:00

"True happiness is something that, by its nature, gets spread around.” Buddha

It seems a no brainer that if I were to ask, if you want to be happy, your response would be a resounding Yes! I believe that all of us want to be happy and what often gets in the way is when we seek it in things, people or status.

So when was the last time you felt happy?

What does happiness mean to you?

Is it money, relationship or peace of mind?

I'll be happy when...and if...

Have you ever found yourself saying or thinking these words? Prior to learning and practicing mindfulness, I found myself yearning for things to be different. I really believed, if only things were different (more money, more time, less worry) I'd be happy. So I'd dwell in the world of "what if and if only and was miserable. My attention and energy were hooked in pursuing happiness in things and trying to control the world around me. This just kept me racing through life and getting no where. It was exhausting and I was piling on more stress to what was already a stressful.

The awakened heart opens us to life

We come into balance when we learn to let go of reacting to stress or trying to control the world around us or within. When we learn to respond instead of react to challenges in life with acceptance and compassion we're able to reconnect with the vibrancy around us. We're able to feel more connected to the things that nourish the mind and cultivate loving connection. This allows us to open to life. We see both the beauty and the suffering and don't judge one as better than the other. So instead of turning our eyes away and closing our hearts to suffering, we're able to stay present and respond with compassion and loving kindness. It can be challenging to do this as letting our guard down and opening our hearts is counter intuitive. It goes against striving and survival. The benefits out weigh the challenges. When we approach life with an awakened heart it opens us to life, love and our energy that is tied up in worry is free to appreciate life in the moment. Even when things are difficult, when we practice mindfulness we have more clarity of mind, our hearts are more open to life, compassion and happiness.

Mindfulness is a conscious choice...

All of this is great in theory but mindfulness is not about theories. It is about the lived experience. Right now pause and notice the following:

What's the body like in this moment as you read this?
What emotion is felt?
Has this article triggered memories from the past? Hope for the future?

As you finish reading this take at least a five minute break and:

Close your eyes and tune into the body
Breathing in feel the sensation of breath coming into the body
Breathing out soften and relax the body and heart.

Take time to consciously connect with this moment. It truly is a gift and can lead to meeting life with acceptance, compassion and happiness.

May you be well

Practice Mindfulness for a Healthy Body, Mind and Heart

2014-09-29T15:30:00.003-07:00

Practicing mindfulness connects us to the present moment, gives light to what's most important in our lives, and helps reduce anxious and stressful feelings. It is a very grounding and healing practice as well as challenging. So what is mindfulness and how can we practice in every day life? To get free tips and activities please read the full article at http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/living-mindfully-for-a-healthy-body-mind-and-heart-0915144

Beyond Coping there is life...

2014-09-18T12:55:00.004-07:00

Today I was thinking about how precious life is. That each moment is a gift no matter what we're facing in life. It's sometimes a challenge to remember this as we get caught up in stories, opinions and drama. When we arrive right here, feeling our feet on the ground, the sensation of breathing, looking out and taking in our surroundings, this is a moment of pure awareness and it's a gift. I say it's a gift because when we step out our busyness and into life it's like seeing clearly for the first time. Our senses come alive and colors, sounds, sensations are more vibrant. Live each day with moments of mindfulness and your view of the world slowly shifts from one where things are happening to you, to one where you're interacting with life.

This is a wonderful passage from the book "Beyond Coping" by Thanissaro Bhikkhu. It's a reminder about what a gift it is to live in the present moment:

Beyond Coping

"You shouldn't chase after the past,

or place expectations on the future.

What is past

is left behind.

The future

is as yet unreached.

Whatever quality is present

you clearly see right there,

right there.

Not taken in,

unshaken,

that's how you develop the heart.

How can you practice this today? Pause and take a break to connect with this body, mind and heart. Notice what surrounds you and the aliveness within you. For this moment, meet whatever arises with awareness, loving kindness and curiosity.

May you be peaceful
May you be joyful
May you be safe

Is there a Right Way of practicing MIndfulness Meditation?

2014-09-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Am I doing it right? What is right?

By J. Hood

I thought there was a script, and I was struggling with it. I wondered if I was doing it wrong and of course, I judged and questioned myself. The perfectionist in me wanted perfection to yield the highest level of success. If I was going to embrace this Mindfulness stuff, I had to do it right. Every day, I would sit and meditate and do my best, but let’s face it my mind was all over the place.

It took me some time to realize that my experience is just that. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.

When my mind wanders I simply notice it and focus back on the breath. Some days are better than others and that’s OK, that’s just my experience and noticing it, is mindfulness.

Meditation isn't about getting somewhere. It's about being present and open to the life that is right here. C. Ricardo

“Looking at beauty in the world, is the first step of purifying the mind.”

Amrit Ray

For me the content of my meditation is not as important as consistency. I make it a point to sit every day. In the beginning, I was waiting on some AH-HA moment and these BIG changes would envelope me. It didn’t happen that way. The changes were gradual and subtle. About six months into my practice I started noticing things. I’m more aware of life and the little things. I’m more patient, compassionate and balanced, both toward myself and others. I can better regulate stress and my reaction to it. The list goes on and on. I find now, after 18 months of meditation, that the list grows daily and the benefits aren’t as subtle, these changes are pretty clear.

It’s clear my success lies in the repetition and consistency of a daily practice. For me this is a routine much like any other daily activity. It’s something I look forward to; it’s my time to be with myself.

In the beginning, it may seem hard to find the time. If you’re like me, there’s probably some unnecessary activity weighing you down. I eliminated just a little bit of that and replaced it with a daily routine of meditation and self-exploration and it’s changed my life.

I’m hopeful this will inspire you to pick your time, a quiet place and begin a routine of loving kindness toward yourself. Stick with it even if it seems like nothing is coming from it. That’s just you being more mindful. Soon the joy of the practice will come shining through.

J.H.
*This post is written and shared by guest blogger Joe Hood. He practices mindfulness meditation on a daily basis and shares his experience with this grounding and peaceful practice. Sharing his insight and experience is a wonderful way to learn about this practice.

Open to Life, Love and Experience

2014-09-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

When was the last time you were really aware of breathing in and out? Is there tightness or ease in the body?

Moments of checking in are important, as they helps us become aware of what we carry in our mind, body and heart.

In the midst of writing, I pause and notice that I'm caught up in thinking, planning and worrying. As I connect with the body, I notice a buzzing sound in the head and a tightness in the legs. There's a feeling of restlessness and agitation in the body. Thoughts about the future enter and attached to them is a thread of anxiety. Anxiety begins to circle the heart and there's a tight feeling in the chest; a hand slowly closing into a fist. Can I let the worry thoughts be there without reacting to them as if they are true? Can I hold this experience in a compassionate and accepting embrace? Can I soften the tightness, gently breathing in and out and feel the sensation of the breath, the fullness on the inhale, the release on the exhale?

If I go through the day on auto pilot it's like living in a trance. I'm ungrounded and lost in the world of thoughts. Pausing allows me to connect deeply with what is happening right now. So I pause, become curious and explore by connecting with what is happening through inquiry. I notice:

How is the body right now?
How is the energy?
Am I reacting or responding?
If I'm reacting is it possible to soften? To allow whatever energy is within to flow freely?
Can I be open to what ever emotion is present? (sadness, joy, gratitude, love)

Pausing in this way, I immediately connect with the inner world of sensation and feel the vibrant aliveness that is here. This pausing, noticing and opening is an act of love and a act of mindfulness.

So how are you today? What sensations are felt in the body? Pause and notice. Open to the breath? Check in and send loving kindness to this body, this heart, this mind. Connect with the life that is right here.

May you be healthy

May you live with peace and ease

May you be peaceful

Meeting Reactivity wth Compassion

2014-09-09T12:47:00.000-07:00

"Reactive responses are triggers and are like invisible land mines tied to deeper hurts, fears and pain. Meeting reactivity with compassion can help tame the reactive mind, body and heart." C. Ricardo

Are you aware of your triggers? How do you react when something painful or hurtful happens? Do you blame yourself or others? How does this affect you (body, mind and heart)?

We all have triggers. There are certain situations, feelings or interactions that when touched set off a reactive/defensive response within us. This defensive response is often instinctual and automatic. It's a natural response to pain and meant to protect us from danger. However, it can backfire when we react in hurtful and wounding ways towards ourselves or others. So there is the pain that lies beneath the trigger and there is the defensive response that is meant to protect us but instead creates more distance, hurt and can potentially turn into suffering.

The first arrow is the pain in life, the second is suffering...

This reminds me of a story I heard about how Buddha approached teaching a student about suffering. Buddha asked the student, “If a person is struck by an arrow, is it painful?” and the student replied “It is.” Then the Buddha asked, “If the person is struck by a second arrow, is that even more painful?” again the student replied, “It is.” The Buddha then explained, “In life, we cannot always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”

The first arrow is the pain we encounter in life, the second arrow is the layer of thoughts, stories and meaning we attribute to the pain. This added layer is suffering. There are many instances where this happens in everyday life. You might be in a hurry to get to the office and stuck in traffic. As you sit there inching along, frustration begins to build. You begin feeling angry and impatient. Once your emotions are triggered your body responds by tensing up. Your heart begins to race and your muscles contract. By the time you get to the office, it feels like steam is coming out of your ears and when a co-worker greets you with a welcoming smile you lash out at them. Or maybe you made a mistake and dropped coffee on your brand new shirt and your inner judge goes on the war path criticizing an shaming you for not paying attention. The point is that the problem isn't the trigger, it's the way we react to it.

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." Victor Frankl

Much of the time pain turns to suffering because we are in some way resisting our experience. We may be caught up in the world of thoughts, emotions, past regrets or guilt or perhaps we're trying to control the situation or outcome. When we engage with what is happening in our lives in this way, we lose our ability to respond and instead are reacting, trying to fix or in some way control the outcome. We're usually doing this in an effort to dampen or avoid pain, but it doesn't work. In fact, it has the opposite effect of transforming pain to suffering. Meeting pain with resistance causes us to disconnect from our bodies, minds and hearts. It is this disconnection that creates suffering as we tend to go inwards and in doing so feel alone and adrift in a whirlwind of thoughts that may be filled with judgment and fear. To help ourselves, we need to shift back into connection, into the present moment. When we are triggered and pause before reacting, we're able to be present and that moment is an opportunity to shift from reacting to responding. If we really want to stay connected with our values, with the people that matter most in our lives (starting with yourself!) we must be willing to shift the reactive response to one of understanding, love and compassion. This shift is a moment of profound awareness as we notice how the reactive defense is affecting our body, mind, heart. This moment of awareness is a moment of mindfulness.

When challenging/painful situations arise meet the pain with compassion and mindfulness...

"Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." Carl G. Jung

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/carl_jung.html#JX43ujOaSmepzu1I.99

The first step towards helping ourselves is to become aware of when we are getting caught up in a story or when our emotions are so overwhelming that we and the emotion become fused. The next time you are feeling overwhelmed pause and reflect on the following questions:

What is happening in your body right now? (Tension, heart rate is fast, breathing is shallow)
How are your thoughts affecting you emotionally? (feeling hurt, sad, angry)
What are you believing? (my partner doesn't love me)
Before you react, can you pause and call on the breath to help you ground yourself?
As you breathe in really tune into the breath. Think of the breath as an act of self care that helps tame reactive emotions.
Notice how you' re caught up in reactivity; reacting to what is happening.

We need to pause, breathe and bring a feeling of love and kindness towards ourselves. It's important to express understanding and acknowledge the difficulty we are experiencing in going through this challenging time, event, situation or feeling. This pausing and connecting helps us come back to the moment...it is only a first step but an important one.

Awareness, compassion and learning to stay in the face of pain are essential to healing and connection...

Awareness is what can help us find our way back to connect with body, breath and life...An acronym that can help is R.A.I.N. it stands for:

Recognize - what is happening. That you've gotten hooked and drifted into thoughts or stories.

Allow - open to your experience. Bring acceptance to meet the pain. If sadness is present then name it and notice where you feel it in your body and pause..can you soften around the sadness...let go of resisting it or judging yourself for it (i.e. I'm weak or silly for feeling this).

Intimacy/Investigate - Get Intimate with what is happening - how are you reacting to your experience. Are you pushing it away? What is in need of attention or kindness?

Non-attachment - know that what you are experiencing (fear, sadness, anger) is an experience you are having and not who you are. For example some people will say I'm just a sad or angry person. You aren't sad every minute of the day and you can't be angry all the time. Being able to see what is happening without getting hooked to it helps you to be more open to the experience.

These are some tips on ways to begin to explore this healing practice.

May you be well

May you be free from suffering

May you be peaceful

Does the Universe Really Know Me?

2014-09-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe..." Albert Einstein By Joe Hood (Guest Blogger)

For better or worse Mindfulness allows me to notice things I wasn’t aware of in the past.

As I progress with my practice, I’m not surprised that I’m more mindful, but I am surprised at how naturally this comes to me. I now notice things that I never noticed in the past. For example, I may be struggling with something in my head and out of the blue someone plays a song that hits me like a ton of bricks. It may not solve the issue, but it allows me to see it with more clarity. As I become more present and open to experience, I’m able to see what’s happening with a greater depth and perception. Which leads me to ask the question, how does the universe know me so well? Constantly, subtle things are presented to me, which fit into place like tailor made gloves.

I‘ve never been a big believer in fate, or the idea that things happen for a reason. I mostly subscribe to the theory that you make your own fate and you’re in control. But I’m not so sure anymore and that’s “BIG” for me.

Lately, the things that come before me are so dialed in and relevant, that it’s not to think there’s a programmer behind the curtain. Sometimes these things are so obvious, that I get the feeling someone’s messing with me.

"Mindfulness is about being fully awake in our lives. It is about perceiving the exquisite vividness of each moment. We also gain immediate access to our own powerful inner resources
or insight, transformation, and healing."- Jon Kabat-Zinn -

Mindfulness practice has changed me in many obvious ways and in ways that I’m not even aware of. As my mind becomes less cloudy, it’s easier to see things that I wasn’t able to see when I was less mindful and sometimes that’s a little scary. Particularly when these random things don’t seem so random anymore.

Giving up control is very hard for me. But I look at it this way; I don’t have to give up TOTAL control. I am only giving up enough control to allow all the data and information to come to light. This allows me to act mindfully and proceed with deeper clarity.

Now (don’t tell anyone I said this), but I do think there is an element of fate to our lives. For me, the saying “If it’s meant to be” is beginning to mean something and I’m finding peace in that.

I can see that things do happen for a reason.

J.H.

* This post is shared by guest blogger Joe Hood, who practices mindfulness meditation on a daily basis and shares his experience with this grounding and peaceful practice. Sharing his insight and experience is a wonderful way to learn about this practice and I'm honored to have him post on this blog. I'm looking forward to his future posts :-)

Expand your world view and open to life and love...Part 1

2014-03-11T11:22:00.002-07:00

To see things from a different perspective and expand our view of the world is to be open to life and everything in it. When we open our mind, heart and body to pain, joy, love and life, we shift from a narrow view based on past experiences, hurts, joys, and sadness to see things from another perspective. This opening to life helps us grow and also opens our heart to connect with all of life.

Opening to awareness, compassion and acceptance allows us to experience all of life. The pleasant and unpleasant. We can't grow and heal if we remain closed to certain experiences.

When we are fearful and tighten up in response to fear we become paralyzed and only experience a fraction of life. We get stuck in our view of the world and it's like being trapped in a room where the windows are painted on. We don't see the world; everyone and everything in it for all the wonder, beauty, sorrow, pain, joy that it holds. We only see our narrow view of it. This limits how we experience others as we only see fragments of the people we come into contact with. We may judge others and look for those whose world view is like ours in an effort to stay "comfortable and safe, ". The irony is that in trying to stay "safe" we end up stuck in a room with our own fears, hurts, defenses, etc. We may get glimpses of how expansive the world is and how expansive we are beyond the small fearful self but again we retreat at any sign of fear, threat, etc.

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. .”
― Stephen Russell, Barefoot Doctor's Guide to the Tao: A Spiritual Handbook for the Urban Warrior

Opening your eyes to see from another's perspective can bring healing and growth...

In opening our minds to see the world through other eyes we get a different perspective on life. We learn about each others wishes, hopes, dreams, sadness and pain. This is a moment of profound connection of opening our hearts and really wanting to be present to life and each other.

It's challenging and fear can arise with each step we take. We move out of our comfort zone into the unknown world of other. In beginning to expand our world view, opening our mind and heart to each other we begin to see beyond the small self, beyond ego and here lies the potential for healing and growth. Seeing the world from a different perspective can help us grow in areas where we are stuck. It can help us heal past hurts and begin to free up our energy so that we can be more connected with our aliveness (ability to feel, act, think and sense). We begin to see the full richness of the world around us; the colors, fragrance, emotions, sensations, etc. This stepping out of the old way of seeing and doing things is uncomfortable and scary. If you really want to feel alive, if you want to experience new things then you must open to life.

It really is a choice; to live on guard and at war with self and others or to be open and vulnerable and yes, risk the possibility of getting hurt.

Which do you choose?

Until next time...

May you be well...

P.S. I will be posting a 2nd part to this with steps on how to help you practice opening the mind and heart. Questions? Please feel free to contact me. :-)

Life and love are calling you...

2014-01-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

Are you listening? Can you tune into your heart's deepest longing?

One way I tune in is by keeping a journal and taking mindfulness breaks through out the day. Sometimes I use quotes as writing prompts to reflect and connect with what's happening in my life.

While some quotes are cliche and over used others are original words from individuals who give or have given of themselves. In writing down their experiences they pass their wisdom on through words and actions. The ones that bring inspiration are ones that help us shift our perspective on how we view and live life, love and ourselves.

Leo Buscaglia's words are inspiring and filled with love and healing. He gave love, spoke about it and helped many students and people learn about the power of living life from a loving perspective. He lived life in service to helping others connect with compassion, love and life. The quote below is one that can inspire, help us pause and reflect on what matters most in life.

"DON'T MISS LOVE. It's an incredible gift. I love to think that the day you're born, you're given the world as your birthday present. It frightens me to think that so few people even bother to open up the ribbon! Rip it open! Tear off the top! It's just full of love and magic and joy and wonder and pain and tears. All of the things that are your gift for being human. Leo Buscaglia"

The prompts below can help you let go of living in your thoughts, the past/future and connect with the life that is right here and available to you right now: (you can use a journal to jot down your responses):

What I appreciate about today is....
One thing I appreciate about myself is...
One thing I appreciate about my loved ones are...
I feel fully alive when...
What happiness feels like in my body...
A healing way I can respond to sadness is...
One activity that connects me to my breath, my body and this moment is...

It helps when we connect with the vibrant life that is right here. Once you complete the questions about take a moment and practice the following:

Pause and connect with the breath as it comes into the body. (Not just taking the breath for granted and breathing in and out)
Attune to the sensation of the breath coming into the body and flowing out.
Notice the fullness as you breath in and the possibility of relaxing and letting go as you breathe out.
Notice the sensations in the chest, lungs and belly as you take in a new breath...
Appreciate this moment of pure awareness, of connecting with the life that's right here without stories or judgments.

May you be happy
May you be peaceful

May you be well

Learning to be present...

2013-11-21T16:56:00.000-08:00

Acceptance is an important part of the practice of mindfulness. On the flip side so is resistance. These two (acceptance and resistance) are connected through awareness or moments we wake up. Waking up means that we notice when we are resisting what is happening within or when we are reacting to the outside world. When we are reacting we are living in the world of stories, judgment and defenses.Yet there are so many moments that fall by the wayside as we race through life as if there is some imaginary deadline or destination we need to get to. We're surrounded by beauty but are unable to see it when we're caught up in thinking mind or in an emotional tornado. In these moments we are blind to the world that's around us and within us. When this happens we suffer and unable to see clearly or appreciate life. There is an abundance of worry, fear, anger and no space for compassion, acceptance or being present with what is happening right here and right now. I'm not suggesting you drift through life on a cloud or deny that there are things that have to be addressed. This isn't practical, this is denial. What I am suggesting is that there is a need to slow things down, notice when you are caught up in your defenses, stories, or judgment...breathe and notice what you are feeling in your body. Come home to the breath and notice what is happening in your body as you breath. This pausing creates space, a space where we can shift from reactivity to response. What do you need in this moment? What helps to calm the emotions? Maybe pausing and connecting with kindness and compassion.

Practice pausing and shift from reacting to responding. Allow yourself the gift of listening to this guided meditation on the practice of mindfulness and the Sacred Pause.

http://media.dharmaseed.org/recordings/2010/08/20100804-Tara_Brach-IMCW-meditation.mp3

May you be happy
May you be healthy
May you be peaceful :-)

The gift of opening to life...

2013-10-17T13:02:00.001-07:00

It takes a real willingness to open our hearts, minds and bodies to life and to connecting with others. To be open to both joy and pain. Both are temporary and in their own way create suffering. When in pain our tendency is to clench like a tight fist and in doing so we intensify the pain. Or we begin to catastrophize about how awful the situation we are going through is and when we look to the future we imagine the worst. On the other side of the coin are the things we long for, to feel happy, joyful, connected and alive. So what possible suffering can joy cause? When we are in connection with all of life, with our body, breath and heart we feel expansive and life is wonderful. At the same time we may be wondering and worrying about how long this being joyful is going to last. When this happens we aren't fully present to experience this moment and this one and this one...

I sometimes experience this in teaching yoga. At the beginning of the practice I am aware of the worries, concerns and things to do. As I arrive in the moment I begin to connect with my body, breath, heart and my surroundings. I am in the moment and at times there is a genuine feeling of peace and calmness that flows through me. At the same time there are moments where I find myself drifting off into thought and this is a reflection of life outside the yoga studio. There can be a real longing to stay in this peaceful place forever but this isn't realistic. Instead, if I can really be present to enjoy the practice and accept that there will be times I drift off into thought then I am not at war with what is happening, lost in judgment or wishing it didn't have to end. It's also important to acknowledge that judging things, experiences, myself and others is a natural part of being human. The real question is can I shift from judgment into connecting with what lies beneath the judgment, can I bring compassion to this getting caught up in judgment, or lost in thought?

Mindfulness isn't about being present to life in every single moment of the day. It is about bringing awareness to what is happening and arriving back home to the body, heart and mind when we've journeyed into the land of thinking, planning and worrying. Taking the time to reconnect with what is happening right here and now. This practice helps us to see more clearly, to be open to live and feel alive.

Today, pause and take time to connect with both your internal and external world. Read the following and then make a commitment to practice this 3 minute mindfulness practice:

Feel the ground beneath your feet, the chair or cushion supporting you...
Gently close your eyes and take 3 full breaths...
On the in breath feel the expansion that happens, the places in your body where you feel the breath the most, on the out breath feel the emptying out, the letting go...
On your next breath scan gently through your body and soften the places that carry tension...
Allow your breath to be natural and see if you can stay connected to the natural rhythm of the breath...
Notice when your mind wanders and bring your attention back to the breath or back to sensations...
End with another three full breaths in and out
Bring your palms together in front of the heart and end with these words of loving kindness

May all beings be free from suffering
May you be free from suffering
May I be free from suffering

Notice how you feel and know that you can incorporate these moments of mindfulness throughout your day to help you be present.

May you be well
May you be happy
May you be peaceful

Three words that create connection...How are you?

2013-09-03T11:18:00.003-07:00

Do you take the time to really see the people you come into contact with? I am guilty of saying what's expected. So someone asks me how's my day and I automatically say good or fine...but this isn't always true. So, I was really surprised when I asked the cashier at the grocery store how she was doing and she gave me an honest answer... After my initial surprise I took in what she said and responded with understanding and compassion. Her response to this was a true appreciation for having been heard, seen and validated. Just three words, a real desire to connect and an interest in a persons wellbeing can make a difference on both sides. I felt empathy and she felt gratitude. I'm not suggesting that you go around sharing your life story with everyone! But pausing to really connect with others helps us get out of our heads and into life!

Checking in to see how you're doing is an act of care and compassion...

A good practice is to use this question as a way to check in with yourself...what are you thinking, how are those thoughts affecting your emotions, does it escalate the feelings, are you reacting or responding... It is an opportunity to come into the present moment and see if there is a need to slow things down and really connect with what is happening... This in turn gives you a chance to begin to respond in a way that is healing. It could be pausing to breathe, or give yourself a break from thinking, doing, acting or being. So go ahead and give it a try! When you take care of yourself the world becomes a brighter place, you feel balanced and are able to connect from a place of abundance.

Here's a beautiful podcast by Buddhist Meditation Teacher and Psychotherapist Tara Brach where she guides us on how to practice checking in and explains the benefits of this loving practice.

May you have moments of peace
May your heart be filled with compassion
May you be free from suffering

Staying Grounded in the Midst of an Emotional Storm...

2013-06-27T23:05:00.001-07:00

When you are in the middle of an emotional storm it is hard to stay grounded. The emotion can come on so strong and so suddenly that you are swept up in the feelings and end up saying and doing things, behaving in ways that are irrational and hurtful. Whether you are hurtful toward yourself or others there is a real need to learn how to help yourself through the emotion. Emotions are like the waves of the ocean they are meant to flow through you. What stops this from happening is that our thoughts pair up with the emotion and then we are off and running into stories that are laden with negativity, and fear. It is out of this fear that we often react in ways that aren't helpful. So the next time you find yourself triggered and getting primed to react try the following:

Become aware of the signals your body is reacting to thoughts or feelings (hands clenched, jaw tight, blood rushing to your face, heartbeat racing).
Begin to connect with your breath. Not just breathing, actually attuning to the sensation of the breath enter through the nostrils and feeling the breath fill your chest, lungs and as the diaphragm lifts feel your belly rise.
Count each breath slowly 1........2......3.....4....5....and as you breathe out try and soften the places of tension in your body.
Use a mantra to help soothe the emotions. A mantra can be a positive statement made in present tense such as I breathe in peace, I breathe out peace. Continue until you begin to feel calmness come into your body and the mind is more settled.
Take care of yourself as long as you need to before addressing the issue.
Exlplore what you need in the moment rather than sharing a story filled with judgment, criticism and blame. Instead of telling your partner "You are so selfish.." connect with what came up for you and express this in an "I" statement. An example would be, " I really wanted you to listen to me and understand my feelings."

Above all know that when you practice mindfulness in moments of intense reactivity you are making a healthy choice to stay present and tend to what is happening in the moment and that is a very loving and compassionate act.

May you be well
May you be peaceful
May you be free of suffering...

Looking for love....

2013-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we are looking for happiness, love, healing, acceptance on the outside. It can feel like there is a void or some deep wound that is in need of filling/healing but since we're not in touch with it we seek to fill it with people, places and things. It's not wrong to want connection or to want to feel supported, accepted and loved but when this need becomes so big that you are in constant need of reassurance, or when it becomes a way of trying to heal the wound then it can lead to intense suffering. Seeking love on the outside doesn't work because if that love, happiness, acceptance and healing doesn't live within you, then taking it in and being able to hold this feeling in your heart is like trying to hold on to water.

The path to healing begins when we are able to respond to our our wounds, hurts/feelings and the actual healing starts with our ability to feel self compassion during those times when life becomes challenging. What helps us stay connected with life and others is our ability to acknowledge when we are judging ourselves or others and be willing to allow compassion to fill our hearts. This is what heals, this is what connects. So open your mind,let the judgment fade into the background,and let your heart open to compassion. When you do this the void within begins to fill and from that place of fullness you can give and take in love, support, happiness and connect with life.

How do you practice self-compassion?

It can be difficult and awkward when practicing self-compassion for the first time. Having steps or a guide can help. Watch this video by Tara Brach where she talks about how cultivating compassion and practice with her as she guides participants in the practice of self compassion.

May you be well

May you be peaceful

May your heart be filled with compassion

Thoughts often increase the pain in life...

2013-05-15T20:44:00.000-07:00

When you are suffering, when all seems hopeless and you are feeling despair,bring awareness to your thoughts. What are you believing? How is this growing your emotional pain? It's not about denying the pain you are experiencing...it's noticing when you are adding to the pain and transforming pain into suffering. Thoughts are not just held in the mind, they often feed the emotion that is triggered by the thought. If I am anxious or fearful and begin to panic I might start having fearful thoughts, I create a story about what catastrophe is around the corner and when I do this my body begins to prepare and goes into flight, fight, attack mode. One way to help soothe the emotions is to bring compassion to the pain, let your thougths fade into the background...be free...breathe in peace...breathe out stress

Soothing the Hungry Heart

2013-04-08T13:02:00.002-07:00

How many times have you reached for something; distractions, addictions, affairs...in an attempt to fill an inner void? How many times has that something been food? Why, if you aren't physically hungry do you eat?

There are many different reasons we eat. The healthy ones are to stay fit, to nourish our body and often times because it is one of life's pleasures. However, there are times when eating becomes a harmful way of coping with uncomfortable feelings, physical pain, trauma, societal pressure and the list goes on. Today's post focuses on emotional eating; why we do it and a healthy, healing approach towards connecting with emotions.

Emotional eating is an attempt to fill a void, loneliness, anxiety, sadness, fear, anger...when it becomes an addiction is when it becomes the way we cope with painful feelings...it becomes a habit a harmful pattern...and in actuality it transform the pure emotions into toxic shame...so there are added layers to what was first a signal of "ouch! Something hurts!"

What if you were to choose a different healing route so that instead of automatically reaching for food you were to pause when you notice the craving or even in the middle of the behavior...just pause...notice the sensations in your body...what feeling is in need of attention, understanding, acceptance and soothing...can you send healing to that hurt place? Can you place your hand over the place of most pain; connect to it, and with a loving and accepting presence send healing?

This is a gesture of love, of acceptance...it brings the feelings that are suppressed and stuffed down out into the light...this in turn creates safety and an opportunity to see and heal the wound/hurt.

Give it a try and be patient with yourself...it takes time to transform a reactive habit into a loving response.

Note: Geneen Roth's book on feeding the hungry heart is a great healing resource.

Mindfulness Practice : Let Life Flow Through You

2013-03-27T20:51:00.001-07:00

So many different emotions flow through me and every day is filled with different experiences, thoughts, feelings, etc. One thing that helps me live in the moment is when I catch myself resisting what is happening in life or clinging to an experience because I don't want it to end. This catching myself is called awareness and this moment of awareness presents an opportunity to wake up and arrive right here in this moment.

It is when you arrive in the moment, when you become aware that you are resisting by making up stories, catastrophising, judging, etc that you can truly live in the moment. This is the practice of mindfulness...

I love this poem because it truly captures the essence of mindfulness and how it applies to life. It's an invitation to allow all experience to flow through you and open to life.

The Guest House
By Rumi

This being human is a guest-house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture.
Still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

May you be well...

Are you stressed out? Learn healing ways to deal with stress...

2013-03-26T19:09:00.000-07:00

Are you overwhelmed, worried or stressed out? Do you find yourself feeling anxious much of the day? Do you want to relax but just don't know how?
There is a saying that our thoughts create our reality. There are days that we experience as stressful and other days that are calm or even boring. I have experienced stress on the days that I'm hooked into negative thoughts, predicting, catastrophzing or worrying. Some days it doesn't take much to trigger a stress avalanche and before I know it I'm caught in the whirlwind of negative thoughts and stories. In the midst of this storm it isn't just my mind that goes for a ride it's my body, emotions and heart. I've learned to help myself by checking in periodically and practicing what Mindfulness Meditation Teacher and Psychotherapist Tara Brach calls the Sacred Pause.

What is a Sacred Pause?

A sacred pause is the action of stopping all activity, closing your eyes, tuning in your breath and beginning to notice what you are holding in your mind, body and heart. It's called a sacred pause because the practice requires us to set aside judgment, opinions, shoulds, and just notice how you are reacting to what is happening. So the problem is not what is happening on the outside (although it may truly be a stressful event) it is what we are telling ourselves about the event and how we are reacting to it. This is what causes suffering/stress. Below are two videos I've attached to help you deal with stress. One is Tara Brach's video where she guides you in the practice of the Sacred Pause and the other one is calming music that can help you take a break to help you relax and unwind.

Here is a calming and beautiful video with relaxing music. Take a moment to pause, close your eyes and allow your body to relax in response to the music. Even practicing this for a five minutes can have a healing and soothing effect.

Take time throughout the day to check in. The most common places we accumulate stress is in the neck, shoulders and lower back. Learn to listen to your body, notice where you tend to carry stress and take a sacred pause or just listen to relaxing music.

May you be well!