The Other Side

Am I Really Worthless? (Silent Cry of Poor Souls)

2017-10-08T11:19:00.002-07:00

All my life I tried..
Tried to make you happy..
To to meet up to your expectations..
Tried to be the perfect child.
But,
All you did was compare
Compared me to the kid next door..
Compared me to the kid with better grades..
Compred me to the kid with a better job..
Compared me to whatever you thought was perfect.
Little did you realise that all you were doing was belittleing me.
Shattering my confidence and self worth.
Then one day you go on and call me worthless.
This world hit me like a sword in the heart. It permanently stamped my brain and stood like a flashing neon sign in the way of every goal.
Every time I wanted to or tried to do something, your worlds rung true.
Now
I fear taking any step due to the mear consequences of your reaction.

To the parents out there who call their kids worthless, fat, ugly and a whole load of other things.. My question is "What or who gave you the right to judge?"
Just because you brought a person into the world, did it automatically give you the right to controll every aspect of your child's life?
Maybe when you call your kid worthless, fat, ugly and a whole load of other things, you don’t even realize it. It is your anger that is talking, but the funny thing is that you won't fremember anything when you're happy again. Fotrtunately or unfortunately your children won't forget. You don't expect it to matter but it does. Any thing you say hurts equally or even more each time you say it.
A cut in the same place may not hurt as much the next time and after that and even after that but words hurt no matter how many times they are said.

All the compliments you give your kids become like small china figures crushed by the ten-ton brick you dropped when you them worthless, fat, ugly and a whole load of other things.
Label are more psychologically and socially loaded than most parents seem to understand. These terms are usually applied when they are feeling frustrated, impatient, or critical with the children, which only makes it harder to bear.
If you were to call your kids worthless or anything of the like, they will remember that before they remember any kind compliment you gave them. Every time they do something good, they will think about how worthless they still are.

You think that by giving birth you got what we call "Power"?. The power to do and say what you feel is right.
But
Who has the power?
A father who constantly unleashes on his child, impugns or hurts his child wants only one thing.
A mother who constantly berates, nags, punishes, or hurts her child wants only one thing.
And, the child who talks, fights or pushes back wants only one thing.
They all want the power.

Parents wish to control everything in their children's life. They want to make their child the way they think is best and do the things they think are best. They want their children to be successful in whatever way they believe success is achieved. They make their child believe whatever they believe and, try to teach them the lessons that they believe need to be learned. They try to mold their kids into the kind of people they believe their kids should be

They force respect, love and some form of a relationship.

Love, care and respect, can it be forced?
Never
Maybe it can be faked.
But
It can never be forced.

You think your child deserves everything you always hand out to him/her. Are you aware that your child, deep down, believes he/she is really trying? I’m guessing not

You shatter their self worth and then expect them to be normal. They are humans not machines that what ever command you will input it will give you the desired results.

Input a bad commanf and you get the wrong output.

Then dont complain why my child got into the wrong practices or company.

The words you said let to this.

If we kids dont get love, respect, care and whatever else it is, go go look for it else where and then you complain

You are the ones who brought is to this stage.

Raise a human not a well trained dog scared or a slave scared of it's master

A relationship between a child and his/ her parents is one of the purest and most loving. Dont make it anything else.

Employement Discrimination: Over qualification Issue

2017-10-06T07:13:00.002-07:00

There can be numerous causes of rejection but when you are rejected because they said you are overqualified you get some weird thoughts as if it’s your fault that you studied more or this is fault of the society because most of them says you have less experience or less qualification which definitely seems logical but what is the logic of being over qualified.

“They said you have Seventeen years education yet we are looking for people having less educated people so we can’t hire you” A friend from banking sector told after being rejected from the top bank of the country. Although private sector employers have sound reasons to reject over qualified candidates but for government organizations it seems a little absurd. The issue of being over qualified job seekers has been often day by day which has lead even more number of unemployed people sitting at home waiting for the right opportunity to come but as said second chance is not very often. Due to the growing technology lesser need of skilled man may cause them either quit their efforts to fit in or take steps to make their own ground.

There are certain acceptable reasons to discriminate the applicants on behalf of over qualification like,

Lesser jobs and more number of applicants

The basic fear of an employer to higher an overqualified person is if he can hire a low qualified person why do he need to hire an over qualified with higher demand?

Increasing cost of Employment process

The fear of employer that the over qualified candidates may often not enjoy the work or the facilities offered and they always look for better opportunity to avail. If they are hired and they leave sooner or later the employer will have to run the process again,

We can't pay you enough.

They Employers assume that the applicants demand will be much higher than the one having less qualification. Even if the applicant convinces them on customary pay the employer still fears of him to claim sooner or later for higher package.

You don't really understand what the job is.

The applicants my apply having the idea to work in a higher and well settled office yet the employer is looking for someone to work at the front desk. Further the employee thinks that the candidate who has been working in upper positions might not be able keep their interest for the work.

You won't be happy working for a manager with less experience than you.

The candidate will not be happy to work under people having less qualification then him. Therefore the employers think he will stay for very short period of time.

The question arises here is whether the applicant can deal with it during the interview?

A couple of steps the applicant can take to overcome the problem yet not for sure are

By explaining your genuine interest in the job rather creating any kind of ambiguity for example he can convince the employer by telling the of his limited choices of work and that he needs comparatively easy work to carry rather than sticking into difficult one. (And that's key – it needs to ring true for you; don't make something up.)

Most often the employer worries about salary and they expect a bigger figure to come from the over qualified candidates. The candidate can overcome the confusion by being explicit about salary demand.

These are some optimistic approaches to get settled even in a low position yet the bigger issue comes when the employer don’t invite the applicant for interview or they don’t let the applicant to express what he is looking for.

The problem still remains there and the Policy makers and planners should plan a policy against it before it appears that most employees comes to be less qualified and qualified people remains over qualified. Perhaps that will cause individuals to rethink of their desire to think for higher qualification and skill level.

Loneliness

2017-10-05T11:03:00.001-07:00

It's not about the amount of people you have around you, and sometimes it doesn't even matter who is around you, because you are just lonely.

You feel like the world could continue spinning and working just fine without you there, because while you're physically there, you're not mentally.
But
How is it possible that despite being surrounded by so many you still feel alone?

Sometimes we jut long to be with one specific person and if that person isn't with us, no one else matters. It is at times like this that we feel worthless.

What Is It You Want

2017-09-27T06:43:00.001-07:00

"If you don't know what you want, you'll never find it. If you don't know what you deserve, you'll always settle for less. You will wander aimlessly, uncomfortably numb in your comfort zone, wondering how life has ended up here. Life starts now, live, love, laugh and let your light shine!" - Rob Liano (Life Coach)

The first thing we need to find out is what we want, why do we want it and what difference will it really make. It can be any thing. You may want to be successful career wise, you may want to be married by a certain age, you may want a certain car and the list goes on but what exactly are you doing to achieve all this?
Define a goal, have a dream, reach for the stars. Only you can do it. The world is bound to put obsticals in your way. No one wants to see you successful. This should in no way put you off.

Find a stepping stone towards the goal and take small steps each day to reach the goal and get what you want. Start small and you will get there.
Wanting somethig without a purpose is like boarding the wrong train and hoping it will get you to your destination- AIMLESS!

Life always ends up finding its way. Survival is not relevant, living is. So live it if it is worthy enough, if not than make it worthy to live Be firm and determined towards what you and ahd how to get it. DO NOT WASTE YOUR LIFE AND SELF THINKING I CANT DO IT.

The Japanese attitude for work: "If one can do it, I can do it. If no one can do it, I must do it." Arabic attitude for work: "Wallahi if one can do it, let him do it. If no one can do it, ya-habibi how can i do it ?" Adopt the Japanese attiture to life and you will see things change for the better.

Stop Settling for “I Don’t Care, I Don’t Know, and It Doesn’t Matter to Me.” The Success Principles: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be by Jack Canfield

Being Human

2017-09-27T01:19:00.002-07:00

Have we ever thought to be human enough?

If we did what criteria did we set of ourselves being a human?

Whenever I sit alone my mind leaps out of the present and thinks of what to come but mostly it revolves around me. What am I going to do myself, what will I get if do this and that? But sometimes yet very rare during these selfish moments my thoughts leap out of being me for myself and gets into me for others. During such a time I judged myself being a human. I thought of me yet I have this very feeling that most of us less or more fall within the same category

Literature defines Humanity as the quality of being humane; kindness; benevolence. Some of us say if others are safe from our evil that is what makes us human. Others think that having mind which evaluates the past and plans about future, the soul which defines us being human and having knowledge which defines us for being human. What matters is whether to look human is more important or to feel human. Having knowledge and advancement is not what makes us human. It is very narrow definition of humanity unless we practice what it means humanity.

On the authority of Abu Hamza Anas Ibn Maalik, the servant of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him), from the Prophet (peace be upon him) who said, "None of you [truly] believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself." [Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We all watch this old lady beside the road stretching her arms to every passing by vehicle and person for a couple of coins yet lots and lots of us not even care to look at her face, pale yellow skin, wrinkled face each of them is a story of triumph. We watch this miserable mother holding her child in arms and waiting for the traffic signal to get red so she could run to maximum vehicles and gather something to feed her child. The Young boy showing his arm or leg either wounded or not that at all with this very hope of us to help him with some money. We all have hundreds of logic not to care about them. These are just actors, they have this habit of begging, this people are even richer than us but they are use to this and they can’t stop themselves doing so. These are a couple of reasons for not helping them.

Have we ever thought if Allah sets His criteria to bless us the way we do, what would happen to us? How many of us deserve the blessings of Allah? Yet the greatest blessing of Allah to mankind is kindness and love which is the very quality of Allah. He is the most merciful and kind than why can’t we be merciful and kind too. The way he blesses us without categorizing us for our deeds, why can’t we stretch our arms for his beings without doing this mathematics whether they deserve or not.

Humanity in its very essence is love and being to define me as us. It will flourish and enrich if we will be true to our soul not this cage of bones and flash we got. We will have no shame to smile at the weakest and to stand strong in front of the cruel. It’s when we will bend and walk with the cripple. We will smile at the foolishness of people because they are the one who makes us clever. We make your life followed with principles, it’s not that we can’t, the seed is in we all we need is to cultivate it. We stop being numbed with the lie of rich and take a while to listen to the cry of the poor. We leave the thought of being me and think as us for all human being.

That is when we can have these fireworks of happiness in your heart and we won’t need them in the air.

Life in Darkness

2017-09-25T05:26:00.003-07:00

“You are in a small underground chamber, no bigger than a prison cell. The door is locked and the lights are switched off. It is not just dark; it's pitch black”

The feeling of being isolated is not just the end, it’s more like being casted away or being under deep waters with having pressure of the darkness tearing your skin and squeezing the senses of being you. Even in the extremes of darkness there is exists the light of knowledge which urges one to reach his creator whose presence is felt at the very darkness. Being in the darkness has fears of its own but having the darkness inside is much more fearful. It is when you can’t even feel the very existence of your fellow being and the Creator.

“There is darkness inside all of us, though mine is more dangerous than most. Still, we all have it—that part of our soul that is irreparably damaged by the very trials and tribulations of life. We are what we are because of it, or perhaps in spite of it. Some use it as a shield to hide behind, others as an excuse to do unconscionable things. But, truly, the darkness is simply a piece of the whole, neither good nor evil unless you make it so. It took a witch, a war, and voodoo queen to teach me that.”

― Jenna Maclaine, Bound By Sin

Being in dark room may either benefit or cause trouble to one individually but having this darkness inside reaches out to the masses with variety of faces. He feels nothing of life, any respect, any love but depression and hollowness. At such times of he leaves the boundaries of being human and acts more like vicious animals. That is where man joys to terror other beings, feels no value of life and the difference between wrong or right.

Living a life beyond light

With darkness to pattern my fate

Feelings left aside

Left with despair and nothing but hate

Left To witness

The final fall of mankind

No outcome of existence

Could any human, in fact, endure such total sensory deprivation without losing their sanity?

More important to know is the events which leads this darkness inside man. Beside literary terms the young generation is at the edge to divert from sin to stray with the slightest hurdles of life. Allah has kept man to test for his will and conscious. No one is fated to avoid hardships and struggles of life. Sometimes things happen which shakes us to our very core. Life is to be felt and experienced in its purest form, one need to accept the very taste of life. Without wins and losses life is not even near to its basic definition. Yet the new generation in particular consider themselves in darkness owing to a couple of failures yet they don’t understand that “Through Darkness Comes Light, Through Fear Comes Love and Through Pain Comes Triumph“

Followed by a couple of questions we start asking our self to be the only victim of fate and with the passage of time we started blaming our fate and the society. Ultimately, most of us overwhelmed by the desire of taking revenge from our self and the world. The outcomes are very obvious, either ending up with our lives or being the part of evil souls who live with the only wish to keep terrorizing other human souls. Having had two brain hemorrhages, I know what it is like to be lost in the abyss of darkness with no slither of hope of any light shining through. There always is a way to come out of a tunnel if your look for it. Even if it is not physical no one can stop you to let your conscious to move out of your darkness and fly to the lights.

As said “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” has a very obvious meaning in it that all that hardships you have gone through n your life are not to bury you inside yourself but to let you emerge with a greater objective for your life. All you need is to set your way when you have no choices left but either to give up or tap to the inner source about which you are not even aware about.

What we don’t realize is that these struggles are a gift from life itself. When we come face to face with a struggle, a low point in life, be it an illness, a relationship breakdown or financial ruin, at the time we are lost in darkness.

Through darkness comes light, through fear comes love and through pain comes triumph.This is the triumph of the human spirit; it is not in a select few, it is in every one of us.