Random Incoherent Ramblings

Wicca Sabbats: Lammas

2006-07-29T13:06:00.000-04:00

LAMMAS (Aug 1 or 2)

Lammas is a celebration of the summer harvest. It marks the end of summer and welcomes the oncoming Autumn.

The original name for this Sabbat is Lughnassadh. . Lammas translates into Loaf-mass or Feast of Bread and is the Christian name for the holiday. Since it is much easier to pronounce than Laghnassadh, Lammas is the common name.

This is a time to look back on all the hard work that we've done. In ancient times, it would a time to review the preparation of soil (at Imbolc) and then Spring (Ostara) when crops were planted. Throughout Beltane and Litha, the crops were weeded and watered, and now it is time to reap the harvest that was created.

In modern times, instead of thinking of crops, we look at the goals we set for ourselves. We take time to look at all we have accomplished this passing year. We look and are thankful for the good, and we acknowledge the bad that has happened. We think about the lessons we learned about the negative experiences and move ahead to the next season armed with new found wisdom. We take stock of what we want to have happen in the future. It is a time of reflection and rethinking our goals, or renewing our drive to reach those goals.

The most common way to celebrate the holiday is baking of bread. The bread stands for the grain that is harvested from the summer crops. Another way is have a feast of fresh vegetables, fruits and freshly baked breads.

Here are some places to go to learn more about Wicca and Sabbats:

wicca.co.za
The Celtic Connection
Witch On The Go

My Healing Spell...

2006-07-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

My neice yesterday went into the hospital. They are testing her for menegitis. Hopefully she will come out just fine. From what my sister tells me, we have to wait until Sunday before we know anything.

I did the only thing I can do right now. A healing spell.

I set off to find a good one, but none of the them really suited me. So I made my own.

What you need:

1 white candle
A blank peice of paper
Something to write with
Scissors

What to do:

Cut out a piece of paper slightly larger than the base of whatever candle you are using. Write the person's full name of who you want to help heal on this peice of paper. Set the candle on top of it. Light the candle and say:

As this candle slowly burns
Send out the healing that I yearn.
Bless (person's full name) with health and love,
So mote it be from below and above.

I repeated this a few times. I don't think there is a limit to how many times you have to say it. Keeping going until you feel comfortable that your energy was sent. If that takes once.. ok. If you want to repeat it 20 times that's fine.. it's up to you.

*********

I did this after I cast a circle. I also sprinkled some healing herbs over the top of the candle while it was burning (not large amounts, very small amounts of whatever kind of healing herbs you want to use), repeating the vocal part of the spell after each herb.

Remember NEVER to let a burning candle unattended. Do this when you know you will have a couple hours to be at home to keep an eye on the burning candle.

If anyone finds this to their liking, I hope it helps!

Wicca Sabbats: Litha

2006-06-20T22:00:00.001-04:00

Litha
(or summer solstice)
June 21, 2006
(usually occurs around this time)

This is the holiday to celebrate the Wiccan God and everything he stands for (masculinely, strength, peace, a father figure, and love). It is a time to embrace the God and the Goddess and rededicate yourself to your Wiccan beliefs

Since Beltane (May 1st) marks the first day of summer and Lughnassadh (Aug 1st) is the last day of summer on the Wiccan calendar, Litha is the midsummer mark. Litha is the longest day of the year. After this point the days begin to grow shorter and the Sun's power begins to fade. Litha lays directly across from Yule (Dec 22, the shortest day of the year) in the Wheel of the Year.

Litha is a celebration of the incoming harvests (the first of three harvest celebrations, fertility, and the thriving nature around us.

I personally do not believe in Faeries, but this is a special day for those who do. It is said that the veil is thin to the Faerie realm (Sidhe). Faeries are supposedly able to communicate with us clearly. It is also a time for making fun, playfulness, and making wishes.

The best kind of spells or rituals to do on Litha is self dedication, re dedication to the God and Goddess, love, marriage and divination.

The best kinds of incense to burn Litha are lemon, myrrh, pine, rose, and Wisteria.

Meals to observe this Wiccan holiday should include honey, fresh fruits (like lemons and oranges, summer squash or any yellow and orange colored foods. Fresh fruit juice, ale or mead are acceptable drinks.

Here are some links to give more information if you are interested. I took my info from these sites, but there is more there to read!

Holidays and Sabbats
Blessed Litha
Bewitching Ways

The pictures I used I got from these sites!

The Wiccan Year Wheel
The first Litha picture
The sun picture (this website is not in English)

Wicca: Brooms

2006-05-02T14:27:00.000-04:00

Brooms and black cats have always been witches' best friend in the eyes of the general public. You almost never see a witch in the media without a broom or the ever present black cat.

While we don't fly across the night sky on them, brooms do offer specific services for witches.

Brooms can be known as Besom in the Wiccan religion. It gained popularity back in the Middle Ages. It was a common item found in any random dwelling. It did not draw attention, which made it all the more useful because it could not be proven to be a witch's item or tool in court.

Brooms/besoms are used to sweep negativity from a dwelling or ceremony place. You can either hold the broom as you visualize yourself sweeping the negativity and evil out the door, or you can actually go through the sweeping motions physically. This was and still is a common practice among witches. It is also believed that if you leave a broom by a door or fireplace, it helps to protect your home from evil and negative energies. Fertility rites also used/uses the broom. The broom hold characteristics of both male and female symbols. The handle, an ash stave, is phallic in nature while the birch used for the bristles is thought of as feminine in nature.

There are plenty of folklore that revolves around the broom/besom. Here are a few:

A Yorkshire belief: If a young girl accidentally steps over a broom handle she will become pregnant before she is married.

Never sweep after the sunset, for fear chasing away happiness or hurting a wandering soul.

A new broom should sweep dirt out of a house only after it has swept something in.

In Sicily, on Midsummer's Eve, a broom is placed outside the home to ward off any wickedness that might come knocking.

Here a few links if you are interested in reading more about brooms/besoms:

WitchyWorld: General info and a store.
The Witches Besom: This is where I got most of my info, and it has info about making your own broom.
Besom: More general info with instructions on how to make your own.

Wicca Sabbats: Beltane

2006-04-26T11:10:00.000-04:00

Beltane is the time to officially celebrate the end of the cold and snowy winter. It is time to celebrate life and fertility! Plants are beginning to bloom and the animals begin to come out of their slumber. The days are beginning to lengthen. The days are sunny, bright, and clear! The weather is warming up and everything is full of energy. This is your chance to soak in Spring's beauty and truly appreciate it!

In older times, Beltane was celebrated in many ways. A few days before Beltane, villagers would go out to collect flowers, plants, and certain types of wood (will explain more about wood when I get to bonfires). Men would carry out the tradition of “May Boughing”. They would hang ropes of flowers and greens on women they wanted to woo.

Some villages would have a May Queen and May King to represent fertility and rebirth of the world.

This time of the year most religions and culture have some kind of holiday to celebrate the coming of Spring. Christians and Pagans share some of the symbols: Easter eggs, chicks and lilies are all shared symbols. To Pagans these are objects representing fertility.

In Beltane tradition, there are also maypoles and bonfires involved in the ceremonies.

The maypole is a symbol representing fertility. It is festively decorated, covered with Spring flowers, leaves, and pastel colored ribbons. The ribbons are usually fastened at the top, and hang down the length of the pole. Boys will take half of the ribbons, and girls the other half. They are usually alternating boy, girl, boy, girl etc. The girls hold the ribbon and move counter-clockwise around the pole while the boys also hold the ribbon and move clockwise around the pole. The end result is a weaving of the ribbons around the pole. It is take seriously and practiced. The better the dance the better the pattern. It is believed that the better the pattern, the better the harvest of crops will be in the fall!

Beltane fires are set to welcome the arrival of the light half of the year. The sun makes a return in the summer season. The night before Beltane, all fireplaces used to be put out, and relit the next day with the fire from the Beltane fires.

There are nine types of wood that are used for the bonfires:

Birch – The goddess or female energy
Oak – The god or male energy
Hazel – Knowledge and wisdom
Roan – Life
Hawthorne – Purity
Willow – Death
Fir – Birth and rebirth
Apple – Love and fertility
Vine – Joy and happiness

In some versions of the Wiccan Rede, these woods are mentioned:

"Nine woods in the Cauldron go, burn them fast and burn them slow.
Birch wood in the fire goes to represent what the Lady knows.
Oak in the forest, towers with might in the fire it brings the God's insight.
Rowan is a tree of power causing life and magick to flower.
Willows at the waterside stand ready to help us to the Summerland.
Hawthorn is burned to purify and to draw faerie to your eye.
Hazel-the tree of wisdom and learning- adds its strength to the bright fire burning.
White are the flowers of Apple tree that brings us fruits of fertility.
Grapes grow upon the vine giving us both joy and wine.
Fir does mark the evergreen to represent immortality seen.
But - Elder is the Lady's tree burn it not or cursed you'll be."

This is just a quick overview of Beltane. I am leaving some links, incase anyone out there who might be reading this would like to read more!

Celebrating the Seasons: Beltane
Witchvox: Beltane
Beltane

A work update... oh and SPRINT sucks.

2006-04-07T08:45:00.000-04:00

I haven't done an entry in here for a bit so I figured I should do an update. If there is someone reading my blog out there in blogland, I mostly blog at Yahoo 360 now. Everyone I talk to online, for the most part, I met through Yahoo, so when they brought out the 360 pages, I just migrated over there. I do try to keep this one going too, I just forget about it.

Work is going ok. My body is used to the hours now. Well, almost used to it anyway. I don't feel like the walking dead at work anymore. I have no problem staying awake the whole night. I have my nightly routine down now and it's going pretty well. I still hate the pay, but it is just enough for us to get by so for now I'm ok with it I guess. There is this one girl who was on 3rd shift, then moved to 2nd shift. She became the cook for 2nd shift. Apparently that didn't work. So now she is back on 3rd shift. This sucks because we don't need another 3rd shift girl. So everyone's hours are going to go down. I can't go beneath 6 days every 2 weeks. I shouldn't go under 7 days... but I definitely can't go under 6. That worries me a little, but we will see what happens.

I got a new car. Well, a new old car lol. It is a 1991 Chevy Cavalier RW... aka station wagon. I have to say I never thought I would be driving a station wagon! It is a small wagon though, and it was an amazing deal! It only cost $700 (about $850 with tags and plates and crap). It runs perfectly! It has had 5 owners, and apparently they all knew how to take care of a car! I really like it! I haven't named her yet, I don't know what to call her. A name will come to me I'm sure!

I'm eventually going to put up something about Wicca, I just don't know what yet. Since I like herbs, I'm thinking maybe I will pick 2 or 3 herbs at a time and write about those. I will have to wait and see.

On one last note, NEVER EVER EVER EVER choose Sprint for ANYTHING. Trust me on this. They are ..... there isn't a name bad enough for them. Back in Feb. I was going to cancel my DSL because I got laid off work. At the time, I was still in the 14 day buyer's remorse period so I wouldn't have had to pay the $100 cancellation fee. The bitch.. errr.. lady on the phone told me she could get me this GREAT deal. I said I don't know about that, we are now really really poor. She said that she could get our internet down to $20 (we were paying $45 a month). I was amazed and said that we might still be able to do. This lady puts me on hold and goes to make sure the deal is good. She comes back and says there is a deal with a phone package for $28 and the DSL for $20. $48 + tax, I was figuring on $55 a month. That was much better the $75 or so we were gonna be paying. I repeatedly asked her if the the bill would now be no more than $60 (I rounded way up to be sure). She repeatedly assured me that it wouldn't be more than $60. When I say repeatedly, I mean 5 or 6 times at least. So, believing what this chick said, I went woohooo we get to keep internet and did a happy dance.

Fast fwd to Wens. I call them because I don't remember getting a bill. I was going to send off a payment cause I just got my first paycheck. I ask the csr (customer service rep) how much the bill was, what my acct number was, and for the address. She told me my acct. number. Then I hear her say this number.... $195.... I about fell over. So I say ... “I'm sorry... I thought I heard you say $195.” She confirmed that she did. About then my head exploded. I stayed calm though. I ranted as calmly as I could, barely even swore. Three csrs later, I still don't know how much my bill is exactly. One said $195, another said $145 and then $120something, and the last one said $ 145 but apparently I'm getting a rebate on something. Of course we all know we never actually get the rebates. So I have no idea how much I owe because everyone tells you something different. It fricken sucks. They dicked me over and lied to me, but I still gotta pay all this crap. And, if I can't pay the bill and they cancel the DSL, I still have to pay the cancellation fee even though they are the bastards that screwed me over. Nice huh? Please take my advice and NEVER EVER do business with them. The mobile phone can't be much better than this..... just avoid them all together!!!!

Besides the whole Sprint sucks ass thing, things are going okay. With that I am about finished with this post.

Blessed be!

Wicca and the Moon

2006-03-28T08:40:00.000-05:00

I got to thinking about what I said in my last post about once a week doing a post about Wicca. I thought it was a good idea. Of course, it won't be as organized as a once a week on a certain day thing, but I will try to randomly and hopefully somewhat frequently put up something that is interesting.

I figured since I got the idea when I was posting about the moon widget, I would start there.

First I want to say that in the Wicca religion there are many different view points. Even though the paths we take are different, in the end it usually ends up with the same conclusion. At least that is what I am finding out as I learn more about it. I am not saying that what I have here is what all Wiccans automatically believe, it is just what works for me.

In my mind, the moon is directly linked with the the Goddess. I connect all power and magick that belongs to the Goddess with the moon. If I am feeling frustrated or upset with something in my life, I always seek out the moon. It's energy helps to sooth and clear my mind. I have always been more of a night person and felt more peaceful with the moon and stars.

The moon is a natural source of energy for magick. For the best results for some rituals, you have to match up the type of ritual with the phase of the moon.

The new moon phase is a time for beginnings. This is when you want to do spells/rituals that are connected to the start of something new, situations/projects that need growth, health, or personal improvement. You can do these spells up to three days before and three days after the day of the actual new moon.

The waxing moon is a new moon that is moving toward being full. This is the time for spells to help with positive change, motivation and inspiration, and courage. If you do a ritual for these things during the waxing moon, the spell will be at it's strongest. This phase of the moon will last about 14 days.

The full moon is a time to do spells that will help you increase psychic abilities or fertility. It is a time of love, power, and strength. You can do these spells up to three days before and three days after the day of the actual full moon.

The waning moon is the full moon becoming a new moon. This is a good time for removing things from your life. This is also a good time to use spells to banish things, break bad habits, addictions, and unhealthy relationships. It's a time for divination and deep intuition. This phase of the moon will last about 14 days.

For more information on Wicca and the moon you can go to Sylvan Wicca: The Moon, or Moon Phase Magics. For a calendar of the moon phases, you can go to The Children of Artemis.

A new thing...

2006-03-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

I added a new moon tracker of sorts on this page. It has what cycle the moon is in. I like it alot! It will come in handy for me for certain rituals. I won't have to wonder and search to see if now is the right time etc. because I will know what phase it is in.

My religion isn't something I talk about much in my blog is it? I suppose I should talk more about it. Maybe I will do something pick a day and make it Witch Day or something LOL. I will write something about Wicca every week on that day. Hmmmmm. I will have to think about that. It sounds like a good idea right this very minute, but that doesnt mean I will actually do it when time comes *chuckles* We will see.

Bleh.. and ick.

2006-03-26T07:57:00.000-05:00

Work went fine last night. I was kinda of worried since I had two days off, how it would be going back. I mean with the sleepiness and all. I had nothing to worry about and things went fine as far as that went.

However about 3:30 am my stomache decided it had a gripe with me. I have no idea what caused it but ..... it was icky. It's still icky. That sucks.

At least I'm 3rd shift. So if I'm sick I can do what I need to do as often as I need to do it (as long as my work gets done of course) and not have to worry about a boss wondering why I'm not working every second of the shift.

Hopefully a good nights.. errrr... morning? sleep will do me good!

First night alone at work....

2006-03-22T20:15:00.000-05:00

My training only lasted 2 days. The job isn't that hard. It just seems like alot of things to remember until you get used to doing everything. I hope I don't forget to much tonight.

My main worry is what happens when it hits that magical sleepy time. Between 3am and 4:30am my brain just wants to sleep. Badly. The past two nights I had people there to talk to .. tonight it is just me. Alone. There will be some one on the other unit doing their stuff, but that doesn't keep my brain awake!

The most important thing to me is the meds. It's easy to do, I was suprised. Now I just have to make sure I give out the right pills at the right time.

I just don't want to forget anything. I know they will be understanding because it's my 3rd night. I still can't help but be nervous about it. I know I'm gonna get the hard side.

Well, we'll see I guess. I'm not going to get all freaked out, at least not now anyway. I am going to take a shower and get my crap around for work.

On the up side, I have Thurs. and Fri. off! Woohoo.

The new job, first night...

2006-03-21T16:05:00.000-05:00

It is going to be interesting. After tonight I will be the only one on which ever unit I'm doing (there are 2). It will be boringgggg. I can get all the cleaning done in about 3 hours, which leaves 5 hours.

It sounds like a dream. Five hours to do absolutely nothing and still get paid. It's not. My biggest concern at this point is if it was boring my first night there, when I'm learning now things and stuff, what is gonna happen 2 weeks from now when I'm not bored????

My 2nd biggest concern is medicine. I don't know how comfortable I am with dishing it out. It's something I will get used to I guess, and they said if I feel that uneasy about it I don't have to do it. I just have to say that I am really really uncomfortable about it I can pass on doing it.

I just wish I could fast fwd about 2 or 3 weeks to a spot in time where I am all comfy and settled in.

Late night... hopefully...

2006-03-20T01:55:00.000-05:00

I drank about 40 oz of coffee in less than a hour. I'm hoping to be up until at least 3:30 or 4am. only about 3 hours to go lol.

I'm hoping it will make tomorrow night.. well... technically tonight lol... easier. I know they will be understanding because it is 3rd shift. I just want to do a shitty job. The hardest part of the night is around 6am when we start to get up the residents. I don't want to do a shitty job b/c I can't keep my eyes open.

I figure if I stay up until 4am or so tonight, then I will sleep more tomorrow. I hope to sleep most of tomorrow, at least until 5 or 6pm. I probably won't ... my nerves won't let me but I'm gonna try.

It's weird. Dave is all snoring in bed and I'm not curled up with him lol. I'm going to miss sleeping with him. I'm used to feeling him next to me, now he will be at work when I'm sleeping. I don't think I like it. I will get used to it I know.. but that doesn't make it suck any less.

All that coffee is making me feel even more twitchy than I already am... and that's bad LOL. I am in LS1 right now. Which is good cause it keeps me awake and reading.

Well I guess that is it for now. I will post again probably Tues. to let ya know that I was all worried for nothing LOL.

Nerves....Argh

2006-03-18T09:28:00.000-05:00

I am trying to not freak out. Why am I freaking out? Because I'm a tard.

Seriously though, I'm trying to not think of my new job. You know, what I have to do. Can I do it... will the ppl I work with like me.... how will I react to 3rd shift. The first night is going to kick my ass. My bed time is usually 12am or so. Not 7am. I'm trying to stay up late tonight and later tomorrow night...

I'm just nervous. I wish I could fast fwd time... jump forward to next Monday and have my first week in. The first week is always the worst. My body is used to the housewife thing so I'm gonna be sore and stuff.

*sighs*

Ijust hate when my nerves go insane. It feels so ... twitchy. And I get so emotional. I drop something and it will make me cry. The worst part is I know that my nerves are WAY over reacting, but no matter what I try (thinking positively, meditating etc) it doesn't work. My nerves still make me feel like there is a 1000lb weight on my chest. Grrrrrrrrr.

A Job Interveiw...

2006-03-15T06:25:00.000-05:00

I have an interveiw today, bright and fricken early. 8am. It's at the company I went to yesterday to tour. They called the same day which is a good sign. Of course the fact that the other 3 people who where there with me yesterday were criminal didn't didn't hurt my chances LOL. I don't know what they did, I just know one was in jail for about 6years, and the other two had felonies on their records heh. Talking about making me look good *chuckles*

There is alot I worry about with this job. I shouldn't be worrying because I don't even know if I have the job, but I am worrying anyway.

Oh, I actually got another job. It is at an assistance living place. I would be a care assistant. I'd basically help people with showers, getting ready for bed, and making sure they take their meds that kinda thing. That is the job I want. I would be ALOT more comfy in that job and like it ALOT more. It would be 2nd shift
(3pm-11pm) which is MUCH better than 3rd shift.

Here's the thing.... it isn't full time. And I would be making $6 for the first nine months or something and then $6.50. In two months, if I make the union, at the other place I will be making $14.30. Now you can see my problem lol.

So I'm going to see if I can put the assisted living place on hold as long as I can and figure out if Triangle is going to hire me or not. Then if they do, I will go with Triangle. If they don't, then I won't. Heh.

Either way, it's only 6:24am and my brain doesn't want to think anymore!

Another job thing...

2006-03-14T07:41:00.000-05:00

I'm off to another almost but not quite job interveiw today. I get a tour of the factory and I get to take this test thing. If they think I'm cool enough, they call me for an official interveiw. Then I do the interveiw and get the drug test thing. Then I get hired or not.

I have mixed feelings about this job. I shouldn't because at this point it doesn't matter because we need money. I still do though. If I get it I will be working 3rd shift.... and that SUCKS. For many many reasons.

On the up side, if they hire me and I make it into the union, I will be making $14.30 a hour. Can't bitch about that!

I think alot of it is just nerves at this point. I worry if I will go fast enough and be good enough ... that kinda of thing. For now though, I'm just going to focus on getting the job. I'll worry about the rest of it once I have that.

The job interveiw thing....

2006-03-09T18:35:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm back from the interview. The people are very nice and friendly! The wife of the duo is related to my pappy, so we are related in a round about kinda way.

The job looks really cool. Very busy I'd be, if I get it. I think I could do it ok!

There is only one problem. Unfortunately it is kinda a big problem.

Part of the activities are trips, going out to church, going out to eat etc.. So far so good. I figured they would have a van type thing and I would be driving that. Nope. The residents there refuse to climb into vans because it makes them look old.... (oh wait, you are). The result being, they get carted around in cars.

Our car sucks. Alot. I don't know if our car would be the best thing for this. Even when we do get another car, it's still gonna be a junker.

Since the group of residents there are an active group, there would be driving and trips. So I don't know if it is going to work out after all.

That's ok though. If it doesn't work out, it's only because the right one is waiting . If it's meant to be, it will be.

OMG OMG Wonderful news!

2006-03-08T17:10:00.000-05:00

Today I got a call from a local assistant living place. The guy who called was named Craig. He explained how the assistant living place he owned is looking for an activities director. He was going through the career link (a branch of unemployment) resumes and noticed my said I was an activity assistant. So, he was wondering if I was available for a job interview.

OK. By this point in the conversation I was doing back flips and screaming like a lunatic... in my brain. On the phone, at least I'm hoping, I sounded like a normal rational human being. I told him I was definitely interested and I could come out tomorrow for an interview. I said yes and he gave me directions. I don't know how much the pay is, but I do know I will get around 35 hours a week, the hours will be somewhere around 8:30/9am until 4pm, and he said no weekends.

You people, well most of you anyway, have NO idea how badly I want this job. Besides the fact that I need a job to pay little things like.. ya know.. rent, this could really be a wonderful thing. The only job I really enjoyed my whole 31 years of life was that activities assistant job. I loved working at the nursing home and loved the residents. I enjoyed my work and felt like I was actually doing something positive in my life. It was wonderful getting up in the morning and actually not minding going to work. At this place, I would be activities director.. in charge!!!

I got the call this morning around 11am this morning and still get all jittery and excited thinking about it. It would be soooo coool. I'm trying not to think about it, because the more I think about it the more I want it. Then if I don't get it I will really be crushed. None of that negativity though. I will get the job. They will love me and hire me. Positive positive positive!!!!!!

Ok. Just wanted to let everyone know to pray, send positive energy, whatever you religion does, to me tomorrow around 9amish. Hopefully in a few days I will have good news to share!!!.

Just a post.

2006-03-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

The weekend is over. A new week starts tomorrow. On Tuesday I'm going to 2 nursing homes, a cabinet factory and a local dollar type store to put in applications. One of those places HAVE to call. Money is running out quickly. I don't know how we are going to pay for all the bills. Life can be so frustrating sometimes.

But at least I have Dave. He is the most amazing and important thing in my life. I know as long as we have each other we'll be ok no matter what our path will throw at us. As long as I have his love I will be able to get through anything. Now, of course, I'd be more than happy not to test that theory LOL.

On a totally different subject, on Friday night our TV was acting up. That doesn't sound like a big deal, but it caused us to miss the first half of the Battlestar Galactica finale. GRRR. We missed last weeks episode too because of the TV. I can't wait until the day we won't have to worry about TV problems cause we will have one that works. I hope it comes in this coming Friday. Granted, we will end up buying the season 2 boxset, just like we bought season 1 hehe. What can I say, it's a good fracken show!

So funny I had to share!!!

2006-03-01T21:49:00.000-05:00

Vikki sent me and email with these pictures in it. I love the orange one!!!

Hehehehehehe!

A Blog Entry...

2006-02-28T23:39:00.000-05:00

I realized that I haven't posted in about 5 days, so I figured I should post something. Then I realized I had nothing to post.

So I'm gonna share with you! There is this site Ernie's House Of Whoopass that Dave and I go to. It is very sarcastic, has very adult language and adult material if you wish to click on it. This is not a site for little eyes to be seeing, but it is funny as hell!

I forgotten about it cause it's been so long since I've been there. Dave was looking at it and found something he had to share with me. It is the funniest thing. It's kinda mean and really wrong, but funny. No one gets injured and there is no nudity or nothing like that. It is just funny! So click here and see why I'm glad I didn't grow up with an older brother to torture me like this poor boy!

I actually watched American Idol tonight! Yay me! And our TV actually came in, YaY cable! I know the three girls that I really like. Kellie Pickler, Lisa Tucker, and Ayla Brown. I think Ayla did the best tonight. I'm pretty sure she'll be on for awhile.

Umm.. I guess that's it. I'm really tired and stuff, so I'm gonna go curl up with Dave and sleep!

This really pisses me off.

2006-02-24T21:54:00.000-05:00

Today when Dave got home from work he cursed because he realized he forgot to buy a newspaper and said he was going to get one. We usually don't buy a newspaper so I asked him what story caught his eye to make him go back out in the cold and buy one. He said he would read it to me when he got back with the paper and then he was going to post about it in his blog.

So I finished up supper while he ran off to get a paper. When he got back we sat down to eat and he read this letter. The letter was written by the mayor of Tall ‘Afar, Ninewa, Iraq. I didn't know what to think at first, but then he read it. And it made me angry.

The media are always bitching about how awful things are over there. How Bush screwed everything up and the government are doing this completely awful thing by going to Iraq. You never hear the positive things. Good things do happen over there, why is it so bad to let America know?

A quote from the letter:

"To the Courageous Men and Women of the 3d Armored Cavalry Regiment, who have changed the city of Tall’ Afar from a ghost town, in which terrorists spread death and destruction, to a secure city flourishing with life."

Now, call me crazy, but doesn't sound like we are doing a bad thing over there.

I hope someone reads this. If you do, PLEASE PLEASE spread that link around. More people really have to know about things like this letter instead of all the lies the media feeds us on a daily basis.

American Idol and some other stuff...

2006-02-23T13:17:00.000-05:00

I love American Idol. So you figured that would mean I watch the show right? Nope, not this week anyway.

I clean forgot about it on Tuesday. Didn't even think about it until it was 11pm or so. I thought they would have the results show Wens so I figured I will just watch next week and see what girls made it. Nope again. On Wens. it was guy night and Thurs. they are having the results.

Grrr.

That really sucks. I'm just going to wait and see who made it Tuesday and try not to miss any more episodes.

I filled out an application on Tuesday. It would be nice to get hired at that nursing home. It looked really nice and seemed like a friendly place. Best of all, it was close. It couldn't have been more than 10 minutes away. That will be nice in the winter time.

I am giving them until Tues. to call. If I hear nothing I will have to go hunting for other nursing homes. Something will turn up and things will be just fine!

The hard part is holding on to that thought and trying to believe it 100%. I really have been trying to think more positively. It can be very hard to do. I just try to come up with a positive thing everything time I think of a negative thing. Like.. if i stub my toe.. instant negative thoughts. So I will think something like.. that will help teach me to be aware of my surroundings and that is good. It seems kinda of dorky, but it is helping.

I am yawning away and its only 1:25pm. I don't know why, I slept good last night. Oh well.

That's about if for now. Oh! My best friend in the whole world (besides Dave) is keeping a blog now! If ya wanna go see click here. She is a really sweet and caring person and I love her to death. She has now been in my life longer than not! It's weird how fast time goes.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

2006-02-20T09:22:00.001-05:00

I am trying to not just be a bitch. This isn't easy this morning. First, I woke up about 6am. This is the time I'm suppose to get up for work... but wait. I don't have to work, I'm unemployed. So I'm automatically annoyed because I'm awake and because (as much of a pain in the ass the job was) I'm not going to work.

It's just been an annoying morning. I'm not going into details but ... annoying.

I'm really trying not to freak out about stuff. I'm trying to be strong and look at things calmly and logically. Unfortunately my emotions don't like that at all and are driving me insane. Instead of freaking out whenever I think of a new job and how to get one, I freak out every other moment I'm awake. I can feel myself start to crack and I REALLY don't want that. I just don't know how to stop it. I have a little calming chant I repeat and I remind myself that I have nothing to worry yet. We have rent for next month and I didn't even go for my first interview yet. There is a lot to be positive about.

Yet all I want to do is have a good cry and hide under my blankets for the rest of the day. That will accomplish nothing. I know that. I also know that I can't do that, but I want to soooo bad.

I'm bored and restless with nothing to do that I find entertaining enough to take my mind off all the crap that is wanting to take over my brain. Grr.

Ok. Venting done for now. Hopefully things will go better as the day goes on and I won't go insane arguing with myself about thinking positively.

Hello Yahoo 360....

2006-02-18T19:59:00.000-05:00

I got my Yahoo 360 page up and running. I didn't get the feed rss thing exactly, but I didn't have to worry about it. Dave was here to save the day and he fixed it for me. Yay Dave!

Speaking of Dave, he brought home 12 pink roses and another bunch of flowers today from work! He is such a wonderful guy. I can almost hear him yelling now about how I'm making him look like he is all whipped or something. I say, if he is gonna do sweet things like that, he has to deal with me bragging on him.

Thank the Goddess for him. I don't know what I would do without him. Okay okay enough gushing about Dave.
I do have to say though, I like the fact I can still gush about him after 6 years.

I just wanted to take a minute to make a new post for Yahoo 360. Don't ya love the quote? I was looking for something sarcastic, and found that little rude quote instead. Of course, I had to keep it! I will change it soon enough.

Click here if you haven't seen my Yahoo 360 page and would like to!

Laid off again, just what I needed!

2006-02-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

Yep. I am again unemployed. Yesterday was my official last day and I am now laid off. They said they would bring everyone back in a month or so. That's comforting. But wait, the news gets even better!

I have been trying to stay positive. I figure if I let myself get all upset, it's all downhill. Most of you who know me know my emotions take over (and they always lean toward the negative not the positive) and then my nerves go and it just turns into a huge messy thing. I decided I didn't want to go there. So I made a plan.

I decided it's ok. I would find out about CNA (certified nursing assistant) classes and do that. I like working with elderly people. I can overcome the ickiness if I put my mind to it. It's just a matter of knowing that I HAVE to do it if I want to have enough money to have a decent life. Ok. No problem.

I also figured if worse came to worse and no one wanted to hire me, I would have unemployment. I know this because the last time I called the man I spoke with told me I could get unemployment starting in January. Today is February 17. I'm still not eligible. I've been working at Empire since June 8 2005 and I STILL can't unemployment.

This has put a small crack in my positive outlook. If anything goes wrong with the CNA thing, like no one wants to hire me, I am screwed. There will won't be enough money to pay bills. I'm going to stop there because I can feel the panic starting to swell and effect the positivity I'm really trying to hold on to.

I'm trying to look at this unemployment disappointment as another small road block to happiness. I am going to stay calm and realize that things will work out no matter what. I just gotta stay relaxed and focus on becoming a CNA or anything that pays at least $9 a hour.

Hopefully in my next update, I will have a wonderful update to post about how we're back on track and everything is lovely.

Ya never know!