Me and My Family :)

MOMAS BOYS AND TODAY

2011-10-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

TODAY WAS A VERY GREAT DAY. THANK YOU LORD. BOYS HAD THEIR FIRST FIELD TRIP TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH AND GOT THEIR FIRST 9 WEEKS REPORT CARDS. BUT ENJOYED THEIR FIELD TRIP AND CAME HOME WITH HUGE PUMPKINS. THEY KEEP CARRYING THEM AROUND THE HOUSE AND I AM JUST WAITING FOR ONE OF THEM TO DROP AND BUST ON MY CLEAN FLOOR. LOL OH WELL... THEIR REPORT CARDS WERE OUTSTANDING. GABE (FIRST GRADE) GOT STRAIGHT A'S. IN EVERYTHING. AND LUCAS (KINDERGARDEN) GOT MOSTLY S'S. HE NEEDS IMPROVEMENT ON HIS HANDWRITING BUT I DONT KNOW A BOY OR MAN OUT THERE WITH NEAT HANDWRITING. BUT WE WILL PRACTICE ON IT. I AM SO PROUD OF MY BOYS! WE DO HOMEWORK AND PRACTICE EVERYDAY AFTER SCHOOL AND THEY ARE LISTENING TO MOMMY AND DOING WHAT THEY SHOULD IN SCHOOL.... SO PROUD OF THEM AND THE LIL MEN THEY ARE BECOMING EVERYDAY! THANK YOU LORD.
GOT MY HOUSE ALLLLLLLLLL CLEANED TODAY. BECAUSE THE NEXT TWO DAYS IM GOING TO BE BUSY WITH OUR NEW CHURCH. GOING TO ONE OF THEIR OUTREACH CENTERS TOMORROW WITH MY FRIEND KYLEE AND OUR KIDS. SHE IS GOING TO SHOW ME AROUND THERE AND WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. AND SUNDAY IS OUR SECOND TIME GOING TO CHURCH THERE AND AFTER CHURCH THEY ARE HAVING PIZZA AND SUCH AND GOING TO TELL ALL IS NEWCOMERS MORE ABOUT THEIR CHURCH, AND THEIR GOALS AND EVERYTHING. SO EXCITED TO BE GETTING INVOLVED WITH CHURCH. NEVER BEEN SO EAGER OR WANTED TO GET SO INVOLVED LIKE I AM TRYING TO NOW. THANK YOU GOD FOR THE PUSH AND GUIDANCE. AND IM ALSO DOING THIS FOR MY KIDS!
ALSO SPENT TODAY HELPING MY DEAR FRIEND KYLEE OUT WITH HER BABIES AND JUST SPENDING TIME WITH ALL OF THEM. SHE HAS THREE BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL KIDS. A LIL BOY MADDYS AGE (3) AND TWO 4MTH OLD TWINS (BOY AND GIRL) AND BOY DOES SHE HAVE HER HANDS FULLLLL, LET ME TELL YA....LOL IT FEELS GOOD TO BE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE AND LEND A HELPING HAND TO SOMEONE IN NEED. BUT WHAT THE OTHER PERSON DOESNT REALIZE IS HOW MUCH THEY ARE HELPING YOU TOO! HELPING ME TO GROW MORE AS A CHRISTIAN, AND MOM AND WIFE, WHILE IM JUST ENTERTAINING HER BABIES LOL... I LOVE HER. GLAD HER AND HER CREW HAS CAME INTO MY LIFE AND MY FAMILIES LIFE. AND THATS ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED FOR ME TODAY AND MY THOUGHTS AND SUCH.

SHORT AND SWEET TONIGHT

2011-10-13T17:36:00.000-07:00

HAD A GREAT CALM DAY. ALL THREE KIDS WOKE UP IN GREAT MOODS. NO SICKNESS THANKFULLY. BOTH BOYS WENT OFF TO SCHOOL WITH NO ISSUES, THANKFULLY. THEY ARE HAVING THEIR FIRST FIELD TRIP OF THE YEAR TOMORROW TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH. I HOPE THEY HAVE A BLAST.. :) GABE WENT LAST YEAR AND LOVED IT...... AND TODAY ME AND MADDY SPENT OUR DAY AT MIRACLE PARK WITH A FEW GOOD FRIENDS AND THEIR KIDS, FOR MANY HOURS. LOL WE HAD A PICNIC AND EVERYONE BROUGHT SOMETHING LIKE SANDWICHES, DRINKS AND CHIPS. IT WAS FUN TO GET OUT AND TALK WITH ADULTS LOL. AND FOR THE KIDS TO ALL INTERACT. GARY FINISHED THE YARD FINALLY LOL. CUTTING GRASS AND WEED EATING. HADNT BEEN DONE IN A MONTH LOL. I FINALLY WENT THROUGH MY DRESSER DRAWERS AND CLEANED OUT THE OLD CLOTHES OF MINE I DONT WEAR OR FIT ANYMORE, AND PLAN TO DONATE THEM LIKE I DID WITH GARY AND THE KIDS OLD THINGS. LOL I WAS JUST A MONTH OVER DO GOING THROUGH MINE. AND I SORTED OUT OUR FOOD PANTRY AND STRAIGHTENED IT UP, IT WAS A MESS. TOMORROW I WILL BE ON TO DEEP CLEANING THE HOUSE, BC I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SINCE IVE BEEN ON THE MOVE ALL WEEK, AND WAS DEPRESSED THE BEGINNING OF THE WEEK.
WE HAD A STRUGGLE GETTING THE BOYS TO EAT DINNER TONIGHT. I MADE LASAGNA. I DONT KNOW WHY THE BOYS ARE SO PICKY AND NEVER WANNA EAT HALF OF WHAT I COOK. LOL WE SAY EAT OR GO TO BED, AND THEY ALWAYS CHOOSE GO TO BED. IT HURTS MY HEART BC I DONT EVER WANT MY KIDS TO GO TO BED HUNGRY, BUT I CANT JUST LET THEM EAT PIZZA ROLLS, OR NUGGETS ALL THE TIME YA KNOW. LOL (SIGH) PARENTHOOD...........ANYWAYS, GUESS ILL WRAP IT UP, IM TIRED.. LOL GOODNIGHT...

FEELING GODS PEACE

2011-10-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

SO AFTER BEING UP ALL NIGHT WITH A SICK CHILD. WITH WHAT IM GUESSING IS THE 24HR FLU BUG. MY POOR BABY COULD NOT STOP PUKING. WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT TOGETHER OFF AND ON. I DIDNT SEND HIM TO SCHOOL AND HE SLEPT HALF THE DAY AWAY. GOT SOME FOOD AND LIQUIDS DOWN. THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS WELL, UNTIL HE ATE REAL FAST FOR DINNER AND RIGHT IN THE CHURCH PARKING LOT HE PUKED IT ALL UP.. BUT HE TOOK IT LIKE A CHAMP AND WANTED TO STAY AT CHURCH, HE DIDNT WANNA GO HOME. :) ME AND GARY WERE/ARE SO PROUD OF HIM. HIM, HIS BROTHER AND SIS ARE SAFE AND SOUND ASLEEP IN BED NOW. THEY HAD SOME PUDDING BEFORE BED, FOR A LATE SNACK AND SO FAR HES HELD IT DOWN. CROSSING MY FINGERS HE WILL BE WELL FOR SCHOOL IN THE MORNING. THERE HAVE BEEN NO SIGNS OF FEVER OR ANY RUNS.... :) HOPING THIS BUG TOOK ITS LEAVE LOL.... I HATE SEEING MY BABIES SICK.
AS FOR FEELING GODS PEACE. I FELT AND FEEL IT ON ME NOW. AFTER CRYING AND LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS WHOLE HOUSE SITUATION AND FEELING GUILT ABOUT MY SURGERY, BC WE CUDDA USED THAT MONEY TO HAVE FOR DOWN PMT ON THIS HOUSE. THO WE DID SAVE WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY ASKED FROM US. ANYWHO.....AND STAYING UP WITH GABE SICK, I STILL FELT TIRED BUT I HAD PEACE. GOD IS TELLING ME TO BE STILL AND WAIT. HE IS! HE IS TELLING ME TO STOP WORRYING AND LET HIM HANDLE THIS. HE WILL TAKE CARE OF US. THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN EITHER WAY WITH THIS HOUSE. AND IF ITS NOT MEANT TO BE FOR US TO BE HERE, I KNOW MY GOD WILL FIND ME AND MY FAMILY SOMETHING BETTER. I REMEMBERED WE ARE STILL IN A LEASE HERE UNTIL MARCH SO I DONT THINK THE BANK WOULD KICK US OUT, THEY WOULDNT WANT A LAWSUIT. SO IF IT CAME DOWN TO IT WE COULD USE TAX MONEY TO MOVE IF WE HAD TO. SO IM AT PEACE WITH MOVING IF WE HAVE TO. I WOULD JUST DO THE BEST I COULD TO KEEP THE KIDS NEAR THEIR SCHOOL. I MEAN ME AND GARY CANT GO ALL OUT AND TRY TO GET PERSONAL LOANS THAT WOULD PUT US IN A BIND AND CAUSE US TO STRUGGLE. THERE WOULD JUST BE NO POINT. I KNOW WE ARE GOING TO BE OKAY :) THE DEVIL GOT ME DOWN THAT DAY, AND I PROMISE I AM GOING TO TRY MY BEST NOT TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN.
ALSO FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS I HAVE BEEN PRAYING THAT GOD LEAD US TO THE RIGHT CHURCH FOR OUR FAMILY. PRAYING AND PRAYING. AND TONIGHT MY PRAYERS WERE ANSWERED. TWO OF MY FRIENDS HAVE BEEN TELLING ME ABOUT THIS CHURCH AND WE WENT TONIGHT. (DOTHAN VINEYARD) AND IT WAS AMAZING! WE WERE WELCOMED RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR ALL THE WAY INSIDE LOL. WE WERE WORSHIPING GOD WITH UP-TO-DATE CHRISTIAN MUSIC, HAD BIBLE STUDY- AND ITS A COME AS YOU ARE CHURCH--NO LIE. AND THE KIDS WERE OKAY IN THEIR CLASS PLAYING. AND THEY INSIST ON GOING BACK. I AM SO HAPPY GOT SENT THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES TO LEAD US THERE. WE FELT SO COMFORTABLE AND FELT LOVE AND MOST OF ALL GODS SPIRIT. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EAGER TO JUMP ON IT. AND THEY HAVE SO MUCH GOING ON THIS WEEKEND SATURDAY AND SUNDAY, I CANT WAIT TO PARTICIPATE. I JUST KNOW IN MY HEART THIS IS WHERE MY FAMILY AND I NEED TO BE. AND ITS THE RIGHT THING FOR US TO BE GOING AND GUIDING OUR KIDS DOWN THE RIGHT PATH TOWARDS GOD. ITS GOING TO HELP US BECOME BETTER CHRISTIANS, BETTER HUSBAND AND WIFE AND PARENTS. :) IM SO PROUD OF US.

NEEDING A MIRACLE

2011-10-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

SO WE STARTED RENTING OUR HOME 6MONTHS AGO. OUR HOUSE IS NOT A FANCY PANSY HOUSE. BUT IT IS A PERFECT HOME FOR US. GREAT SPACE, FENCED YARD, JUST PLENTY OF ROOM FOR US. NEEDS SOME UPDATING ON THE PAINT ON THE INSIDE AND OUT AND COULD USE SOME CARPET. LOL BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING. WE LOVE THIS HOUSE. AND NOT TO MENTION, ITS IN A PERFECT SCHOOL DISTRICT FOR OUR CHILDREN. SO ANYWAY. WE STARTED RENTING 6MTHS AGO. 650 RENT/NOT CHEAP FOR A FAMILY OF 5, BUT WE HAVE MADE IT, BY GODS HANDS WE HAVE MADE IT. AND IM SO PROUD OF US. BUT ANYWAY. NOT EVEN A MONTH AFTER WE STARTED RENTING, WE FOUND OUT THE OWNER OF OUR HOME WAS NOT PAYING HIS PROPERTY TAXES, AND OUR HOME WAS FIXING TO GET SOLD ON COURTHOUSE STEPS. SO WE WERE SCARED OMG WE JUST UPROOTED OUR FAMILY FROM 45MINS AWAY FROM WHERE WE ORIGINALLY WERE, SWITCHED THE KIDS SCHOOL ETC. AND LOOK NOW WE GOTTA MOVE. BUT BY A MIRACLE MAN PAID HIS DUES AND THINGS WERE OKAY. SO WE KEPT ON LIVING LIFE LIKE NORMAL, NO WORRIES, AND CONTINUING TO PAY 650 EVERY MONTH ON TIME, NEVER LATE.
WELL 3MTHS AGO WE WERE TOLD THE OWNER OF OUR HOUSE HAS FILED BANKRUPT AND TURNING OUR HOUSE OVER TO A BANK. SO AS OF END OF THIS PAST AUG THE BANK FORECLOSED ON THIS HOME AND NOW OWNS IT. WE WERE ASKED TO TRY TO BUY IT. SO OF COURSE WE LOVE THIS HOME SO WE JUMP ON IT. WE HAVE WENT THRU 2 DIFF FINANCE PLACES TO GET HELP AND HAVE GOTTEN TOLD YES ONE MINUTE, ONLY GIVE 3PERCENT DOWN, WHICH WASNT TOO BAD, THEN THE OTHER PLACE DIDNT EVEN HAVE THE NERVE TO TELL US NO. THEN RIGHT AT SETTING A CLOSING DATE THE PLACE BACKED OUT ON US GIVING US THE LOAN. (SIGH) SO THE BANK, THE NEW OWNER OF OUR HOME, ASKS US LAST WEEK CAN WE COME IN AND DO AN APP WITH THEM TO SEE IF WE CAN GET APPROVED THRU THEM. WE DO. GET TOLD WE NEED TO GIVE 10PERCENT DOWN, WHICH IS 7,000. WE OF COURSE DO NOT HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY. WE JUST PAID A LOT ON OUR VEHICLE, PAID FOR MY REVERSAL SURGERY, PAID UP AND PAID OFF BILLS SO WE COULD HAVE EXTRA INCOME. PLUS WE ONLY ALLOTED FOR THE ORIGINAL 3PERCENT DWN WE WERE ASKED FOR BEFORE. WHICH ONLY WAS 2,250. BIG DIFF FROM 7,000. WE TELL THE BANK WE CANT AFFORD THAT, BUT WED TRY TO GET IT BUT IF WE COULDNT WHAT WOULD OUR OTHER OPTION BE. AND THEY SAID WE COULD STAY AND CONTINUE TO RENT UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE BOUGHT IT.
EVERYONE IM AROUND ACTS LIKE ITS NO BIG DEAL TO MOVE AGAIN, NO BIG DEAL TO UPROOT MY KIDS SCHOOL. ITS NOT THAT EASY. I HAVE PUT ALL MY TRUST IN GOD AND PRAYED AND PRAYED AND IM STILL PRAYING A MIRACLE WILL HAPPEN. SOMETHING WILL COME THRU. BUT THE DEVIL IS MAKING EVERYTHING SO HARD FOR ME. IM SO WORRIED AND ANGRY AND EMOTIONAL. AND ALL THESE FEELINGS WHILE TRYING TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY, NOT A GOOD COMBINATION. GOD I JUST PRAY THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY, IF THIS ISNT THE PLACE FOR US THEN ANOTHER GOOD OPPORTUNITY COME ALONG AND I PRAY WE WONT HAVE TO MOVE THE KIDS SCHOOLS. WE HAVE HAD LET DOWN AFTER LET DOWN, AND OUR CREDIT RAN SO MUCH IN 4MTHS TO GET THIS HOUSE. I DONT KNOW WHY PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR BILLS ON TIME EVERY MONTH AND CAN GATHER GOOD CREDIT REFERENCES CANT GET HELP. THERE HAS GOT TO BE A PLACE OUT THERE THAT HELPS LOW INCOME FAMILIES GET APPROVED FULLY FOR A MORTGAGE. (SIGH) IDK, IDK ANYMORE. JUST GOD PLEASE MAKE A MIRACLE.

Just Random Talk and Thoughts

2011-10-09T16:35:00.000-07:00

SO IT HAS JUST BEEN ME AND THE KIDS TODAY. GARY HAS BEEN AT WORK ALL DAY. I MISS HIM SO MUCH, HE WORKS SO HARD AND WE HARDLY SEE EACH OTHER. BUT I GUESS THATS HOW LIFE IS. YOU GOTTA WORK TO PAY BILLS ETC. THE KIDS HAVE BEEN GREAT FOR ME SINCE MY SURGERY. BEING THEIR NORMAL SELF'S. LOL THEY HAVE THEIR MOMENTS WHEN THEY TRY TO TEST ME, BUT I ALWAYS WIN LOL, SOMETIMES I GIVE IN TO WHAT THEY WANT. OKAY IM LIEING LMAO I NEVER WIN. BUT MY KIDS ARENT BAD BUT THEY ARE SPOILED. :) I THINK THATS EVERYONES KIDS. I KNOW ME AND GARY NEVER HAD AS MUCH AS THEY DO. I DONT REMEMBER EVER GOING TO MCDONALDS AS A KID, UNLESS IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY LMAO. WE DIDNT GET EXPENSIVE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. WE GOT A SHEET AND A PILLOW CASE. :) WE WORE HAND ME DOWNS. AND LUKE (MY MIDDLE CHILD) COULD HAVE TO WEAR HAND ME DOWNS, BUT I NEVER MAKE HIM. IM NOT GOING TO GO TO THE STORE AND BUY FOR MY OLDEST SON AND MY DAUGHTER AND NOT HIM. ITS JUST NOT FAIR IN MY HEART TO DO THAT. :) I LOVE MY KIDS SO MUCH AND ITS JUST SO IMPORTANT TO ME AND I THINK ANY PARENT TO GIVE THEM THE THINGS THEY NEED, LOVE AND WANT.
SO ANYWAY. ME AND GARY ARE NOW ACTIVELY TRYING TO HAVE A BABY. :) I AM ONLY 4-5 DAYS PAST SURGERY. DOING WELL AND FEELING GREAT, BETTER THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD BE. WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW THE ADVICE OF OUR DOCTOR AND DO IT EVERY OTHER DAY. AND COUNT MY STICKY DAYS, WHICH ARE 10-15DAYS FROM THE DAY I ACTUALLY START MY PERIOD. SO WE WILL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. WE ARE IN THE MIND SET WHERE, WE ARE GOING TO LET GOD HANDLE IT. IF ITS MEANT TO BE THEN ITS MEANT TO BE. I DO WANT THIS BADLY AND SO DOES HE, BUT WE ARENT GOING TO GO CRAZY CHARTING AND TEMPING AND CHECKING MY CERVIX AND ALL THAT. IM NOT SAYING ALL OF THAT IS BAD. AND IM SURE AFTER A YEAR OR TWO AND I STILL HAVENT GOTTEN PREGNANT I MAY RESORT TO ALL OF THOSE THINGS. I KNOW I FIXED MYSELF 2YRS AGO SO IF I STILL CANT HAVE KIDS DUE TO THAT THEN I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES. BUT AGAIN I AM JUST HOPING AND PRAYING IT IS IN GODS WILL FOR US TO HAVE ANOTHER BABY ONEDAY. SO FOR RIGHT NOW WE ARENT GOING TO ADD STRESS TO US AND JUST GET IT ON LIKE NORMAL AND HAVE FUN. :)
I PRAY EVERYDAY FOR MY TUBAL SISTERS, SOME OF THEM HAVE HAD SO MANY LET-DOWNS AND SOME ARE GETTING BFP'S RIGHT AWAY. I WANT THE BEST FOR ALL OF THEM AND FOR THEIR DREAMS AND WISHES TO COME TRUE, TO HAVE A HEALTHY PREGNANCY, AND HAVE A HEALTHY BABY. :) GOD BLESS ALL OF THEM WITH PEACE, PATIENCE AND FRUITFUL WOMBS. AND I SAY THOSE IN ORDER LOL.
WELL I AM DONE RAMBLING FOR THE DAY. AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM TALKING TO MY BEST FRIEND SARA, HANDLING THESE KIDS AND TRYING TO BLOG.. YALL HAVE A GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS :)

OUR MELTED FAMILY.

2011-10-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

OKAY HERE I GO. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT ME. I GUESS I WILL LET YOU IN ON A FEW THINGS SINCE THIS IS A REAL BLOG AND LET YOU GET TO KNOW THE REAL ME AND MY FAMILY AND HOW WE BECAME A FAMILY. I AM NOT MUCH OF A SPELLER SO BARE WITH ME ON THAT ON MY POSTS AND I TEND TO RAMBLE ON TO DIFF SUBJECTS LIKE I AM NOW LMAO. OH WELL.

OKAY I AM NOW 25 YEARS OLD. I AM MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, WHO I KNOW IS MY SOUL MATE, AND THIS BLOG WILL EXPLAIN THAT. GOD BLESSED ME WITH THREE ANGELS. GABE-7YRS OLD; LUKE -5YRS OLD; AND MADDY 3YRS OLD.

TO BEGIN WITH. I MET MY HUSBAND NOW WHEN I WAS 13YEARS OLD, IN MIDDLE SCHOOL 6TH GRADE, WHEN I MOVED TO ALABAMA FROM FLORIDA. IDK REALLY HOW WE ENDED UP HOOKING UP BUT WE DID. LOL LOVE AT FIRST SITE FOR BOTH OF US AND FIRST KISSES.WE WERE ON AND OFF AGAIN BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND UNTIL 8TH GRADE. THATS WHEN THINGS BECAME REAL SERIOUS, WE WERE REAL TEENAGERS BY THEN. WE TOOK EACH OTHERS VIRGINITY ETC ETC THINGS WE ALWAYS ROUGH FOR ME AND GARY DUE TO THE FACT THAT HIS MOTHER WAS AND STILL IS VERY VERY OVER BEARING AND CONTROLLING OVER HIM AND HIS SIBLINGS. THEY WERE TAUGHT AT A YOUNG AGE CLEANING AND TAKING CARE OF A HOME WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN FRIENDS ETC. WHILE SHE STAYED AT HOME ALL DAY WATCHING TV. SO WE WERE NEVER REALLY ALLOWED A RELATIONSHIP WITH EACH OTHER. I BROUGHT OUT THE ADVENTURER IN GARY. GUIDED HIM TOWARDS STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF AND SUPPORTING HIM NO MATTER WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE OR WANTED TO BE IN LIFE. AND HE DID THE SAME FOR ME. SOOOOOO WE WERE SERIOUS SERIOUS FROM 8TH GRADE TO 10TH GRADE. WE PARTED WAYS DUE TO IMMATURE THINGS WE WERE BOTH DOING.WE PARTED WAYS FOR 4-5YRS.

DURING THAT TIME I MET MY TWO BOYS DAD IN 10TH GRADE. HE WAS A SENIOR I WAS STILL A JUNIOR. BOYYYYYYYY I THOUGHT I WAS HEAD OVER HEALS IN LOVE WITH THEIR FATHER--HE WAS ONLY THE SECOND GUY I HAD EVER BEEN WITH. SOON I BECAME A WIFE AT 18 GOING INTO 11TH GRADE, PREGNANT WITH MY OLDEST WHO CAME IN DEC 2004. THEN 9MTHS LATER I WAS PREGNANT WITH LUCAS. HAD HIM RIGHT AFTER GRADUATING IN JULY 2006. I WAS IN THE DIVORCE ATTORNEYS OFFICE ON OUR 1YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT AS U CAN TELL WE RUSHED THINGS. HE WASNT READY TO GROW UP AND I WAS TOO GROWN UP FOR HIM. ITS FUNNY BC GARY HAD ACTUALLY CONTACTED ME AND TOLD ME HE SAW THEIR DAD WITH ANOTHER FEMALE, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS HIM JUST BEING JEALOUS, WELL NOPE TURNS OUT HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH.. LOL ANYWAYS I LOVED BEING A MOM THEN AND I DO NOW MORE THAN EVER, IT CHANGED MY LIFE. AND I HAD TO GET MYSELF AND MY CHILDREN OUT OF THAT BAD SITUATION WE WERE ALL IN AND MOVE IN WITH MY MOM... IM NOT GOING TO DOWN THEIR DAD, BUT HE WASNT THE BEST FATHER FIGURE THEN AND NOW HE IS TRYING TO MAKE IT UP BUT THE KIDS ARE OLDER AND ITS HARDER AND HARDER FOR HIM. I ENCOURAGE THEM TO SEE THEM AND THEY LOVE HIM, BUT IT MAKES THINGS SO HARD WHEN HES IN AND OUT IN AND OUT OF THEIR LIFE. ETCETC.

ANYWAYS ONTO AFTER WE DIVORCED. I MET MY 2ND HUSBAND LOL. YES I AM 25 ON MY THIRD MARRIAGE. ITS SO EMBARRASSING BUT AT THE TIME I THOUGHT I WAS MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR A TOTAL OF 2YEARS. HE WELCOMED MY BOYS WITH OPEN ARMS, THOUGHT HE WAS MY KNIGHT WITH SHINING ARMOR. HE TOOK US AWAY FROM WHERE WE LIVED TO START OVER AND GET ME AWAY FROM ALL THE EX-HUSBAND DRAMA ETCETC. AFTER A YEAR WE WERE PREGNANT WITH MY DAUGHTER 2008. WERE DIVORCED WHEN SHE WAS 4MTHS OLD. :( TURNS OUT HE IS GOOD DADDY MATERIAL BUT NOT RELATIONSHIP OR HUSBAND MATERIAL STILL TO THIS DAY. HE BECAME POSSESSIVE, MEAN TO MY TWO BOYS, PHYSICAL SOME ON ALL OF US. BELIEVED A WOMAN SHOULD DO CERTAIN THINGS AND HAVE CERTAIN THINGS READY OR DONE FOR HER MAN. WELL IM SORRY THIS WOMAN DONT DO THOSE THINGS, AND I AM NOT ONE FOR KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT ON HOW I FEEL.

AND ALL THOSE YRS ME AND GARY WERE SEPERATED I STAYED IN TOUCH WITH HIS SISTER OFF AND ON BC ME AND HER WERE GOOD FRIENDS ONCE. HE WOULD RANDOMLY SOMEHOW GET IN TOUCH WITH ME, GARY THAT IS, AND NO MATTER WHAT I WAS DOING OR WHO I WAS MARRIED TO HE WANTED TO MAINTAIN A FRIENDSHIP OR KNOW HOW I WAS DOING. AND I WOULD ALWAYS SHUT HIM DOWN, BC I KNEW HED WANT MORE AND I WAS TRYING TO STAY MOVED ON WITH MY LIFE AND ITS JUST NOT RESPECTFUL TO BC MARRIED AND TALKING TO EXS.. LOL

WELL LOW AND BEHOLD 2WEEKS AFTER I MOVE BACK IN WITH MY MOM AFTER MY 2ND DIVORCE ME AND GARY START TALKING. I TELL HIM I AM DONE WITH MEN. ITS ABOUT ME AND MY 3KIDS, IM TIRED OF US GETTING HURT AND MISTREATED ETCETC. HE AGREES WE WILL JUST BE FRIENDS. BUT AFTER SPENDING TIME WITH EACH OTHER, SEEING HIM CONNECT WITH MY CHILDREN AND HIM RESPECTING MY WISHES, HE GREW BACK ON ME AND WE OR SHOULD I SAY I FELL BACK IN LOVE WITH HIM... AND WE HAVE BEEN BACK TOGETHER SINCE APRIL 2009. HE STOOD BY ME THROUGH MY NASTY DIVORCE WITH MY DAUGHTERS FATHER, HE GOT UP WITH MY 4MTH OLD WITHOUT BEING TOLD OR ASKED OR EXPECTED TO. HE WRESTLED WITH MY BOYS AND TOLD THEM CRAZY STORIES.

AND ME BEING IN LOVE WITH HIM BUT STILL WORRIED ABOUT THE FUTURE I DECIDED TO GO FORTH WITH A TUBAL LIGATION. ALSO HAD MY MOM IN MY EAR, AND LIVING WITH HER SAYING, I DONT NEED ANYMORE CHILDREN. WHY WOULD I WANT TO HAVE MULTIPLE FATHERS ETCETC. GARY DIDNT WANT ME TO FOLLOW THRU WITH IT BUT I DID. AND ALL THE WAY UP UNTIL SURGERY DATE I WOULD CRY AND CRY I KNEW ITS NOT WHAT I WANTED BUT I DID ANYWAY. AND IT WAS THE WORSE THING I EVER DID. NOT ONLY DID I HURT GARY, I HURT MY BODY. I ENDED UP SUFFERING FROM PTLS, WHICH I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT UNTIL 3MTHS AGO. I EXPERIENCED EVERYTHING, HEADACHES, ANXIETY, DEPRESSIONS, MOOD CHANGES, BREAK OUTS ON MY FACE, HORRIBLE HORRIBLE PERIODS.

ANYWAYS WE ENDED UP MARRYING IN 2010, YES QUICK, LOL WE FIG WHATS THE POINT IN WAITING... ME AND GARY WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT AND LIVING WITH MY MOM TO LIVING IN 2 APARTMENTS, TO A LIL SMALL HOUSE, THEN TO UPGRADING INTO THE HOME WE ARE IN NOW. WHICH WE ABSOLUTELY LOVE AND ITS IN THE PERFECT AREA AND SCHOOL ZONE. WE ARE HOPING WE CAN STAY HER PERMANENTLY.

STILL ALL OF THIS TIME HAS PASSED I HAVE BEEN OFF AND ON RESEARCHING TUBAL REVERSALS BECAUSE I KNEW I MADE THE WRONG DECISION 2YEARS AGO AND WE BOTH WANTED AT LEAST ONE OR TWO MORE KIDS. NEVER FOUND ANY GOOD LEADS, ALL LOCAL ONES WERE OUTRAGEOUS IN PRICE. UNTIL ONE DAY I STUMBLED ACROSS LAKESHORE SURGICAL CENTER IN GAINESVILLE, GA. HEAVEN SENT. THEIR FEE WAS JUST RIGHT FOR US AND INCLUDED EVERYTHING FOR ONE FEE. FUNDS CAME THROUGH AND I HAD MY REVERSAL OCT 5, 2011. THE STAFF WAS WONDERFUL, DR.GREENE IS WONDERFUL. OUTCOME WAS GREAT. ALSO FINDING LAKESHORE LEAD ME TO MEET MY TUBAL SISTERS ON THEIR MESSAGE BOARDS. I HAVE MADE SO MANY LIFE LONG FRIENDS THROUGH THEM. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH....SO NOW WE ARE ONTO HOPEFULLY HAVING OUR OWN BABY TOGETHER ONEDAY NOW. OUR OTHER THREE CHILDREN ARE THRILLED, WE STAY TOTALLY HONEST WITH THEM. OF COURSE TELLING THEM THINGS ONLY AT THEIR LEVEL THOUGH LOL.

OKAY SO IDK HOW MUCH IVE REALLY SAID ON THIS BEING MY FIRST BLOG. I THINK IVE SAID ALOT ABOUT MYSELF. AND REALLY I AM JUST A VERY FAMILY ORIENTED PERSON. MY LIFE REVOLVES AROUND GOD, MY HUSBAND AND KIDS. I PRAY EVERYDAY AT RANDOM TIMES LOL FOR OTHERS AND FOR MY FAMILY. I LOVE TO LAUGH AND PICK ON PEOPLE IN A NICE WAY. IM VERY SOCIAL WITH OTHERS. I CAN BE SARCASTIC. AND I AM VERY TENDER HEAR TED AND I TAKE WHAT OTHERS SAY TO HEART. :) I AM JUST A NORMAL PERSON, WITH MY FAMILY, TRYING TO MAKE IT IN THIS BIG OLE WORLD. I DONT LIKE DRAMA, BUT IT SEEMS TO FOLLOW US. ANYWHO..............IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW JUST ASK ME.... :)