Competing Priorities

Reflections on the Empty Nest

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 23:21:00 +0000

As M. and I near the end of the first year of being empty nesters, I thought this might be a good time to take stock of what it has been like.

We were premature empty nesters. Our daughter, H., is two years younger than her brother J., but in the 8th grade she became interested in attending boarding school and ended up being selected for a full scholarship at an academically rigorous school in Rhode Island. Letting her go away so young was tough, but she was ready for the challenge and we knew that this opportunity was a very special one for her. She is about to finish her junior year there and has been thriving. J., on the other hand, stayed here in Austin to finish high school, and last August headed to Lancaster, PA for his freshman year. So in September, when H. left for school, everyone wanted to know one thing:

"What do you think about having an empty nest?"

For a month or so, my answer was, "It's quiet." The entire house seemed much more still without the kids around. I noticed this at dinner time especially. With three or four people, there was always something for someone to say. I would ask the kids how school had gone, or check in with them about some upcoming assignment or event. We would coordinate schedules and figure out logistics. Sometimes we talked about grades or tests, other times about the kids in their class or their teachers. We weren't always chatty, but someone usually had something to say.

But with just M. and me, things seemed very quiet, especially at first. I started to worry that we just didn't have much to say to each other any more, but it turned out I just wasn't used to the patterns of silence that arise when both people in a conversation are eating. Before the kids left, the only time we really got to eat alone together was on date nights, and you don't notice silence much in a busy, crowded restaurant. Once I recognized this, I relaxed and realized that not every moment together needs to be filled with conversation.

I've also noticed how much easier it is to keep the house relatively tidy. I'm not the neatest person around, but I have a lower threshold for disarray than others in my family, so I usually end up being the one who picks up the dirty socks from the floor or stacks up the papers scattered across the table so we can sit down to dinner. The sock count is down to almost zero now, and we tend to pile the papers at the kids' ends of the table now so I don't spend nearly so much time straightening up.

I go to the store a lot less often now. On Saturday mornings, I make a meal plan for the week and then do the grocery shopping for it, so on weeknights I don't have to stop on my way home to get ingredients or pick up a rotisserie chicken. And we almost never run out of milk these days. Related to this, M. and I don't eat out as often as we used to. This is partly to save money (college is expensive) and partly just because having a meal plan takes away the excuse that there's nothing for dinner in the house.

I like how much more time I seem to have now. This comes from having fewer extracurricular responsibilities - I'm not helping at regattas or putting together team dinners. Sometimes I feel at loose ends with so much time, but we've started working out at the Y more regularly as a result, and I've also found I have time to read and to think more than I used to. This blog is evidence of that - in the past, I would think of things I wanted to write, but rarely took the time to put the words into a more coherent form. I'm gardening a little more too - for the first time in years, I actually got all the dead stuff cut back before the spring growth started. It's satisfying.

Having more couple time has allowed me and M. to talk through lots of ideas and scenarios about what we want our future together to look like. I wrote about this a few weeks ago - we are mulling whether we want to stay in this house or move someplace else. This conversation is much easier to have when it is just the two of us. Of course our housing choices impact the children a lot, but ultimately we two must make this decision, and talking through the options is much easier without the kids around.

Some things have really helped in this empty nest transition. I think having pets has been a good thing. When there's not much else to say, we can talk about (or to) the dog and the cat, and having a furry friend around when you're otherwise alone in the house is pleasant. Also, Facetime has been invaluable for keeping in touch. This is one place where technology has completely transformed what it means to be apart from your children. I love being able to see J.'s and H.'s faces when we talk to them on Sunday afternoons - I have a much better sense of how they are doing than I would if we just spoke on the phone. Facebook messaging has also been helpful for communicating in the moment - if I need a quick answer from one of them, this is usually the best way to get it.

Finally, lots of folks who asked how I liked my empty nest would do so in a sort of nudge-nudge-wink-wink way - so on that topic, I will just say that it's nice having the house to yourselves sometimes. Know what I mean, know what I mean? Say no more!

Information Frees Markets

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Mon, 14 Apr 2014 02:44:00 +0000

When people talk about the free market, I always think of the markets I saw in China in 1986. Stalls lined the street, with vendors selling arrays of produce, live chickens in baskets, moon cakes, eels, crickets, knock-off purses, cheap tee-shirts, etc. I had almost no basis on which to select one vendor over another. Each offered me "best price" and tried to lure me to spend my yuan on their goods. As a foreigner with almost no Chinese language skills, I was a perfect sucker of a customer.

My biggest disadvantage was that I lacked enough information. I didn't know what a fair price should be, and amounts that seemed small to me probably far exceeded the worth of any item I purchased. Was this seller a notorious cheat? I didn't know. Did a food stall sell items that made people sick? I had no one to fill me in on these details. Without this type of information, I could only trust my instincts. I never got sick in China, but I am positive I got ripped off many times.

This experience taught me that free markets are only truly free if information is available to consumers before they make a purchase.

Say, for instance, that a food vendor in the Chinese market sells dishes made with rotten meat, and customers who eat this vendor's food regularly get sick. The sickened customers, as well as their family and friends, will stop buying from that vendor. If enough people boycott his stall, the vendor will go out of business. This is how the free market is supposed to work.

I've been thinking about free markets recently, in the wake of the resignation of Brandon Eich. He resigned only a week after becoming CEO of Mozilla, after activists alerted people that he had made a $1000 donation in 2008 to Prop 8 (the anti-gay-marriage amendment in California). The tech community is by and large a gay-friendly environment, and many software developers and engineers who work for or collaborate with Mozilla objected strenuously to Eich's opposition to marriage equality. A campaign sprung up to get people to remove Firefox from their computers, OKCupid encouraged customers who used Firefox to switch browsers, and developers had begun to leave Mozilla for other companies. Eich correctly recognized that Mozilla would suffer with him at the helm, and he stepped down.

To me, this too is how free markets should function. If people do not like the political positions of the owners or leaders of the company, they are free to refuse to do business with them. If enough people make this decision, the organization's profits will be harmed and it could go out of business. If this makes corporate leaders think twice before giving money to influence political outcomes, then this is a good thing.

No More Mister Nice Blog said it best:

It's important to understand the real context for all of this, which is the Roberts court's evisceration of campaign finance regulation. When there are no rules, the only possible accountability is public pressure.

To apply public pressure, you have to be willing to cease conducting business with companies you wish to hold accountable. I talked a little bit about this in one of my first blog posts back in 2007.

But to do this successfully, you first need knowledge on which to act. In the past few years, a variety of tools have been developed to help filter your prospective purchases according to your values. One I'm intrigued by, but don't yet use, is an app called Buycott. It allows you to scan the UPC code for an item and see its corporate parentage. Something like this would really put the power of information into people's hands.

And in my opinion, information is the most important element of a truly free market, whether that market is a company listed on the stock exchange... or a series of stalls in Guangzho.

Dignity and Equality

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 01:29:00 +0000

Over the past two weekends, my husband and I have watched three movies about civil rights in the United States: Lincoln, Lee Daniels' The Butler, and 42. Each is set in a different period of our country's history, and each addresses a different facet of the long struggle to achieve true equality for all Americans, regardless of race.

The Butler and 42 do a particularly good job of depicting the dignity with which African Americans endured the derision, threats, and violence of those opposed to equality. The scene from 42 in which Phillie's manager Ben Chapman taunts the at-bat Jackie Robinson with a barrage of n-words is especially powerful, as is the scene from The Butler where Louis Gaines gets beaten while participating in a sit-in at a Woolworth's lunch counter. In both cases, dignity triumphs over hatred because of the extraordinary self-control of the victims, whose suffering evokes sympathy in people of good faith who witness the attacks.

Another realization I had after watching these movies was that history truly is unkind to those who oppose equality. From the congressmen who gave speeches justifying slavery in during the debate over the 13th amendment, to the people of the Benjamin Franklin Hotel in Philadelphia refusing to accommodate a black man or his team, those who oppose progress through hatred and scorn inevitably end up looking bigoted, stupid, and evil.

I have been thinking about these movies a lot since seeing them because of the lessons they teach. As a Catholic, I see two issues of equality that need to be addressed by my church: marriage equality and women's ordination. And I am wondering how the lessons of the civil rights movement can inform those who are working to effect change within the church.

I recognize that there is a vast difference between what happens in a democratic society and what happens in a religious organization. However, the arguments made by those opposed to change in the church often sound a great deal like the arguments made by those who opposed equal treatment of blacks. And I suspect that, in retrospect, their arguments will sounds similarly small-minded and out of touch.

Aches and Pains

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Sat, 05 Apr 2014 12:35:00 +0000

At some point about ten years ago, I noticed that I sneezed as soon as I woke up. It happened pretty much every day, to the point where I started keeping tissues by my bedside so I could grab one as I got out of bed. I'd sneeze once, blow my nose to clear it, and start my day.

About five years ago, my morning sneeze turned into several sneezes. Not a huge surprise - Austin is well known for its allergens, including oak pollen, molds, and the dreaded cedar fever. And I've always been prone to allergies, though my usual triggers are privet, ragweed, and (oddly enough) stargazer lilies, an allergen I discovered in the late 80's when I was a travel director staying at high-end hotels that featured the dramatic pink and white blooms in their lobby floral arrangements.

When the morning sneezes progressed to become minor congestion and occasional sinus headaches, I knew I needed to do something more about it than just blow my nose. Experience has taught me that the most effective antihistamine for me is diphenhydramine, aka Benedryl. But I could not take it in the morning because it makes me very sleepy and disrupts my ability to work. So I started taking one pill every night. This worked like a charm: I slept incredibly soundly, and woke up uncongested and clear headed.

At first I only did this during the allergy seasons, but a few years ago I extended it to a nightly routine. Brush teeth, wash face, take a pink pill, floss - these were my evening bathroom chores. If I forgot the pill, I usually realized it when I had problems falling or staying asleep. I'd wake up to my husband's snoring, nudge him to roll over, go to the bathroom and take a pill, and be back asleep in a jiffy.

During the bad cedar season this year, I had to use more powerful medicine, since generic benedryl alone did not work for me. Starting around Christmas, I'd take loritadine (generic version of Claritin) every morning as well as the benedryl at night. This combination worked well for me, even on the days when you could see the yellow pollen pulsing out of the cedar trees, and clouds of pollen marred the Austin skyline.

But in mid-January, I noticed that my joints ached more than usual. Now that I'm in my 50's, I have the usual assortment of aches and pains, but suddenly it was difficult to stand up straight when I first got out of bed, and my shoulders felt so stiff that I could barely lift my arms over my head to shampoo my hair.

At first I did not put two and two together. But I'd had something like this happen back in my 30's when we were living in Baltimore. After a bad bout of ragweed allergies, my doctor had prescribed Zyrtec for me. I had diligently taken it every day for a month, and during that month my allergies cleared up - but I also started having trouble walking up and down the stairs of our house because my knees ached and were stiff. It happened that my prescription lapsed for a few days before I could refill it, and during those few days, my knees stopped hurting. When I resumed the prescription, the pain returned. Now, I'm not a research scientist, but this limited-scope human-subject experiment provided me with more than enough evidence that Zyrtec was not good for me, so I discontinued taking it and reported the experience to my doctor. She agreed with me, and I have avoided Zyrtec and its generics ever since.

Realizing that my morning aches and pains could be similarly related to the medicine I was taking, I stopped taking the claritin every day. And indeed, the aches and pains returned to their usual levels. I still had sore shoulders but at least I could lift my arms. My knees still hurt a bit but not so much that taking the stairs hurt.

Problem solved? Apparently, but I began to wonder what would happen if I stopped taking the benedryl as well. I knew I'd become reliant on it more as a sleeping aid than as allergy relief. But was it causing the various minor aches that I had written up to age? I decided to run another experiment on myself.

For Lent this year, I've given up taking benedryl every night. The first night or two were tough. But my husband's snoring has almost gone away in the past six months, now that he uses a mouth guard at night, and I've found that earplugs work quite well for helping me tune out any of the stray noises that bother me, including a huge thunderstorm in mid-March.

I'm four weeks in to this experiment now. I have noticed that the pain in my shoulders is almost gone, and my knees too feel better. I'm sleeping very soundly every night, even without earplugs. And I have not been sneezing in the morning - which is what started this whole thing in the first place.

Love It or List It?

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Wed, 02 Apr 2014 19:09:00 +0000

My recent favorite HGTV show has been "Love It or List It," a Canadian production about couples who are split about whether to stay in their current home or to find a new one. For those not familiar with it, the show's hosts are a designer, Hillary, and a realtor, David. The two of them compete to win the couple over - Hillary by renovating their home to better meet their needs, and David by showing them houses he thinks would suit them better. I find it fun to watch (despite its sometimes over-the-top drama), because my husband and I are going through a love-it-or-list-it moment ourselves.

Our son went off to college this fall, and with our daughter at boarding school, we have a (mostly) empty nest now. We live in a pleasant suburban neighborhood about 15 minutes southwest of Austin, Texas, and our house is comfortable for us. But it was never our dream home - we both like mission-style houses and would prefer to live closer to the center of town, where we both work. When we were house-hunting 15 years ago, however, we were mostly focused on buying in a neighborhood with good public schools - and during the dot-com boom of that era, even two bedroom cottages in our target neighborhoods were selling for more than what we could afford, so our desired 3-2 was impossible for us. We wound up instead in a circa-1980 four bedroom house in one of the area's top school districts - less charming, less convenient, but larger and well-suited to our needs at the time.

Over the years, we have made a few improvements to the house, usually focused on energy and water use - we replaced the builder-grade metal windows with Pella windows, got new heat pumps using money from the 2009 federal stimulus package, replaced all the commodes with low-flush versions, and put in a new garage door when we realized the old one had no insulation value whatsoever. Early on, we also landscaped the backyard and added some hardscape features like a ramp between the lower lawn and the upper, since hoisting the mower up 3 feet gets old very quickly.

But we never did much to improve the interior of the house. Oh, once I got inspired by Trading Spaces (my first HGTV addiction) and made over the dining room, complete with laminate floors, imperfectly-installed chair rail, and bifurcated orange/yellow walls. ("Don't be afraid of color!" chirped Genevieve; but I say to you, be very afraid of orange and yellow, Genevieve). It's hard to call that an improvement - though the evidence is gone now, hidden by the sedate cream my husband kindly painted it for Mother's Day a few years ago. And all three bathrooms have gone through their own mini-transformations - still no granite countertops and spa-like amenities, but at least the floral wallpaper is gone.

Now we are considering what our next step should be for housing. We don't love-love our house but we have great neighbors and our location, while not ideal, is relatively convenient. The biggest issue for us is lawncare - the lawn is pretty big and we have many trees (both live oaks and ashes), which means we have lots of leaves to rake and two raking seasons a year. (For my friends not familiar with live oaks, they drop their leaves in March, not in December like most trees in Texas). Until this year, we've had kid labor available to help with this problem. But this past weekend, we spent a combined 16 hours blowing and bagging leaves, and it left us both exhausted. Yes, we could hire someone to do this for us but M. resists paying someone to do a task he could do himself. He's ready to list it.

As for me? I'm not sure yet where I fall. Inertia is hard to overcome, and these bodies have been at rest here for a long time. Getting the house ready for the market takes money, and we are already paying a lot for school. And the kids both grew up in this house - for them it is almost all they've ever known. But I'm willing to see what the alternatives are, in case one of them turns out to be more appealing. We both like the Mueller development in north central Austin, and it is very close to our favorite restaurant, Black Star Coop. We might find ourselves buying a house up there if the right property becomes available.

So we are making small improvements to prepare the house for the market, so we can be ready to act if that's where our hearts lead us. Will these improvements be enough to get us to love it? Or will the appeal of new construction, a small yard, and nearby nightlife make us list it? Stay tuned!

Wedding Gifts in Real Life

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Tue, 01 Apr 2014 16:14:00 +0000

After 15 years in the same house, my husband and I are finally getting some much-needed work done. This work includes replacing the broken range hood with a venting microwave. Doing this will free up counter space.

To prepare for this work, I just emptied the cabinets adjacent to the range hood, because I do not want the sawing and hammering to rattle and possibly break our dishes. Emptying the cabinets took much longer than I expected. In addition to the plates, glasses, and bowls we use every day, I found items we have not touched pretty much since we moved in.

For instance, on the top shelf, I discovered the Williams-Sonoma crystal wine glasses that we received from our generous friends and family when we got married. I remember registering for these when we were engaged all those years ago. At the time, it seemed very important to us to have nice stemware, so we added 8 red wine and 8 white wine glasses to our wishlist, as well as 8 liqueur glasses. I imagined us hosting candle-lit dinner parties: an appetizer of smoked salmon or lobster bisque, served with a light chablis or fruity chardonnay; then steak or filet mignon for the main course, accompanied by a robust cabernet sauvignon or a hearty burgundy; and finally with dessert, we would serve Grand Marnier. Everyone would linger over the cordials, laughing in the glinting light of the almost-burned-down candles.

Now those slim-stemmed glasses are coated in grease and dust, having sat untouched on that top shelf since they were placed there, out of reach of our young children, back in 1998. We use sturdier, less expensive wine glasses for the $5 wines we buy at the grocery store. Candlelit dinners are rare, usually only on Sundays during Advent and on Valentine's Day, and formal dinner parties are even rarer, since most of our entertaining takes the form of potlucks. Once in a while, we break out the Mandarin Napoleon (the cheapskate's Grand Marnier) and sip it after dinner as we watch TV. The glamorous life we imagined has given way to the ordinary life we created.

As it turned out, the most useful wedding gifts we received were items we had not even registered for. Since I already had a set of aluminum cookware when we got engaged, we by-passed pots and pans when creating our registry, instead selecting items to dress up the table. But a few people sent us things they knew to be useful. For instance, my cousin Betsy sent an oval flame-colored non-stick Le Creuset pan that we used constantly for 10 years until the non-stick coating wore off. And my colleague Denise gave us my favorite kitchen item of all, a 10-inch straight-sided all-clad stainless steel pan from Williams-Sonoma. I use it almost every day and no matter how burned on a dish might get, it comes clean with very little effort and looks almost like new after all these years.

But isn't that the way marriage is? The romantic dreams you have when you start out give way to the practical realities of daily life. What you value turns out to be durability. Items that clean up well and last prove their worth again and again. There is nothing wrong with our delicate crystal stemware, but it turned out we did not need it to have a successful marriage.

Though now that the kids are away at school, maybe I'll clean up those fancy wine glasses and splurge on a $15 bottle of wine...

On Envy

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 17:42:00 +0000

It is Lent now and I am trying to be more mindful about what I consume. My definition of consumption includes, but is not limited to, eating. Indeed, minding what I eat is turning out not as difficult to accomplish as limiting other types of consumption.

The most challenging item for me is reducing my use of Facebook, especially during the workday. I have gotten into the habit of rewarding myself between tasks with a quick glance at Facebook - just a quick skim to see if anything new or exciting is going on. It takes just a few minutes to scroll down my news feed and click "Like" on a friend's status or comment on a photo. I often rationalize this time by telling myself that I don't really have enough time to start a new task before my next meeting, or that I make up for the time by checking work email in the evenings when I'm not on duty. But the truth is that the Facebook link is at the top of my "Most Visited" list, and I know I frequently spend more than just a few minutes there.

Since Lent overlaps with Spring Break, I've noticed that when I do look at Facebook, I see a lot of photos of my friends on their vacations. Skiing, at the beach, in Hawaii or Mexico or Napa, attending events here in Austin at South by Southwest - my friends are an active and happy bunch.

And I find myself feeling envious of them. "She is always on vacation," I think unhappily. Or, "How can they afford to take so many trips?" Or, "How come I never get invited to all these happy hours?"

Facebook has been a terrific tool to keep in touch with people, but I often feel inadequate when I see what my friends are doing. I need to keep in mind that my husband and I have made choices about how to spend our incomes that are consistent with our values. We are putting our son through college without any loans (so far), and that means we have chosen to sacrifice on things like vacations, meals out, and entertainment such as concerts, plays, and movies.

Reducing how often I visit Facebook during Lent has made me realize I am happiest when I don't feel like I'm missing something. I think it is a good break for me.

Another Bulk Buying Success Story

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 03:22:00 +0000

Sometimes I think I don't realize that many of the products I buy ready-made could also be created very easily and cheaply at home. And that can be a very expensive oversight.

As an example, about three years ago, our dog had a terrible case of fleas, and her skin reacted so badly to all the itching that she lost a lot of her fur, especially around her back end. We felt so bad for her, walking around all bald around her tail. We didn’t think much could be done, but when we left her at my parent’s house while we went on vacation, they started her on a regimen of brewer’s yeast and garlic powder. Just a sprinkle twice a day in her food with water, and within the month her skin had cleared up and her fur grew back thick and glossy. The bonus was that she loved the taste.

The only problem? This stuff was expensive! An 8 ounce container cost $16 at the local herb bar, and lasted about 2 months. So we were spending over $100 year to keep the dog flea free. This was definitely cheaper than Advantage or any of the other medicines, but it still seemed a lot to spend.

Then one month when we ran really low on the stuff and I didn’t have time to make the trip to the herb bar, I realized I could mix up a home-blend of nutritional yeast and garlic powder, both of which I buy in bulk at our local co-op. So now, instead of $16 for a premixed blend, I spend about a buck for a bag of yeast and another buck for powdered garlic, and mix it together at home in the same container the original stuff came in. The dog still loves it, her fur is still healthy, thick and shiny, we don’t have to make special trips to the herb bar, and we’re saving about $90 a year.

I'm sure there are lots more examples of times when I pay more for something premixed simply because it has never occurred to me to make it myself. I know sometimes the effort is not worth the results - I've never had much success cooking my own beans, for instance, so buy them canned is worth it to me. But I'm definitely going to look more carefully at my pantry over the next month to see if there are other easy ways to save money by putting things together myself.

Ultra-bargain new garage doors

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 03:14:00 +0000

Early last week, we had a new garage door installed. The old one was in terrible condition, with rotted wood along the bottom from years of rain bouncing back up against it. It was also very heavy and made a terrible noise when it opened or closed. I used to cringe when I heard it outside, because it was so much more noticeable than any of our neighbors' garage doors.

We got a great deal on this door. It's a Wayne-Dalton that we got at Lowe's during their free upgrade sale. The deal was that you buy their basic model 8000 door, and get upgraded to the insulated model 9100 for free. Since we already knew we wanted the 9100, we got exactly what we wanted for $250 less.

Then my husband's eagle eye spotted a $20 price difference on two displays of the garage door opener we wanted, so we asked for the lower price and received it.

As I said, the new door is insulated. After it was installed, I noticed that it was much darker in the garage during daylight hours than it used to be. I realized that the uninsulated wooden planks of the old door must have leaked lots of cold air as well as light. Now in the morning on a cold day, it's not freezing in the garage. And our bathroom wall, which butts up against back wall of the garage, is less chilly when I take a bath at night, so the water in the tub stays warmer now.

I'm hoping this makes a difference in our electricity bills. The downstairs thermostat is located just inside the entrance to the garage from the house, so on super cold nights, the coldness in there must certainly have made the system cycle on more often.

But mostly I'm just happy to have a new garage door because now I don't have to hear that old clunker banging and squealing as it opens and closes. That makes it really a bargain to me.

Two little changes that are adding up to big gas savings

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 01:22:00 +0000

A couple weeks ago, I finally stopped by Costco's tire shop to get my tires topped off. They'd been looking low for a couple months, but I never could remember to get them checked. Since we had bought the tires at Costco about 2 years ago, they checked them and topped them for free (I had to show my receipt, which luckily I had in the glove compartment).

Anyway - since then, I've noticed that the car runs much smoother and vibrates less. But I've also noticed that the fuel efficiency has improved. Usually I get about 270 miles to a tank of gas (10 gallons). But right now I'm at 175 miles on the trip odometer, and the fuel guage is at the halfway point. If this trend continues, I might get over 300 miles to this tank of gas.

I know that keeping your tires correctly inflated is always listed as a way to improve your fuel efficiency, but I didn't expect it to make this big a difference!!

The other small change I've made recently is that I no longer drive so far looking for my favorite kind of parking space in the garage at work. I used to pass by all the spots on the uphill ramp right after I entered the garage, instead going up to the second level to find a non-sloped spot. Since the garage levels are one way, this meant that I had to drive all the way around the level to exit, even if my spot was very close to the top of the uphill ramp. I measured it on my trip odometer, and discovered that I was adding 2/10 of a mile to my trip every day by doing this. Over the course of a week, that was a mile, and over the course of a year, that was probably two gallons of gas. So now, instead of shunning those sloped spots, I take the first one I can find. Every little bit helps!

Why is it more expensive to buy recyled??

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:56:00 +0000

At work today, I attended a kick-off event for RecycleMania, which is a competition among college campuses to increase recycling and reduce waste. One of the presenters showed a slide that said it is less expensive for companies to produce recycled paper than it is to produce virgin paper.

One student raised his hand and asked, "If that's true, why is it more expensive to purchase recycled paper?"

He is right. I'm the purchasing coordinator for my section at work, and in many cases, the "green" option costs more green - sometimes a lot more. It frustrates me because I'm then torn between being a good steward of the environment, and being a good steward of taxpayer dollars. This plays out in my personal life as well - though in much lower dollar amounts.

So what's the deal? Is it really cheaper to produce recycled paper, and the manufacturers are just ripping off those of us who are committed to creating demand for recycled? I hate to feel like a sucker....

The Beauty of Buying in Bulk

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:07:00 +0000

I never used to understand the bulk section of the grocery store. My mom always bought food that came in its own packaging, and thus so did I. Sugar, flour, rice, cereals, spices - everything came in its own bag, box or bottle. When the package was empty, we threw it away and bought a new bag, box or bottle of the same thing.

I dipped a toe into bulk buying 10 years ago when I found a store that sold premium coffee beans in bulk for much less per pound than those foil vacuum-sealed packages on the shelf. The store's frequent-buyer punch cards helped reinforce the habit.

The kids, of course, drooled over the nearby bins of candies sold by the pound. In this case, "bulk" was a misnomer, because we controlled quantity by getting them each one or two gummi worms, instead of a full 12 ounce bag of them. We adults, however, indulged in bulk cashews, and not just one or two each!

But despite frequent visits to the bulk area, I didn't think of bulk buying for staples until about 4 years ago, when we joined a food co-op.

Here I discovered real food sold from bins - not just sweets, treats and coffee.

The co-op encourages members to buy in bulk because that reduces the packaging that has to go into the waste stream. In fact, we get 5 cents off our bill for each bag or bottle we bring from home and refill in the store.

But for me, the real revelation was how cheap it could be to buy in bulk!

Here's an example from today: I needed dried basil. The last time I bought it, about 5 years ago, I paid probably $1.50 to buy a .375 oz (10 gram) plastic container. This time, I brought the same plastic container with me to the co-op to refill. I weighed the empty bottle first, marked its weight on a label (which I put over the UPC), then filled the bottle with organic dried basil that cost $14.55/pound. When I checked out, the cashier weighed the filled bottle then subtracted the original bottle weight - leaving me with .02 pounds of dried basil.

So - 16 ounces to a pound means that .02 pounds equals .32 oz. That's not too far from the .375 the container originally held (I had deliberately not filled it because I obviously don't use it too often). The price on the receipt came to $0.29 - and when I subtract the nickel discount for providing my own container, that means I got it for less than a quarter! And this was organic basil, not the non-organic kind I'd bought last time.

And this is why I have filled my pantry with items from the bulk section - because it's cheaper, because it's healthier, and because it helps to reduce waste in the world. To me, that's a beauty of a bargain!

Thrift Tips

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:04:00 +0000

Shopping in a thrift store can be a little (or a lot) overwhelming at times. In order to make a thrift trip successful, it's wise to have a strategy in mind. Otherwise, it's easy to spend either way too much money or way too much time in the store. These are the tips I've used successfully over the past 15 years of shopping for clothes in thrift stores.

Set a budget
This may seem obvious, but having a maximum amount you want to spend helps you be discerning when you are trying to choose between similar items. Sure they're each only $2.99, but do you really need two pink shirts? Knowing you only want to spend $10 total will help you look critically at them both to figure out which is really the better bargain.

Have an idea in mind...
It's wise to go into the store with a general idea of what you might like to find. For instance, I've recently been looking for items in brown, since I realized I don't have much of it in my wardrobe and would like a little more. This thought helps to focus my attention when I first walk into the store and gives me a place to start when looking through the racks.

...but don't have an idee fixe
Looking for a specific item in a thrift store is almost always a recipe for disappointment. If you have your heart set on finding just exactly that pair of grey pants you wanted in Nordstrom but could not afford, you won't be able to see and appreciate similar (but not the same) the grey slacks hanging on the rack.

Know your style
When there are hundreds of shirts hanging on the rack, you could spend all day looking through them. It helps to have some basic rules to follow. For instance, I don't like tops that are too long, since they emphasize rather than minimize my hips. So I look for shirts and sweaters that fall just at the top of my hips. Know what you like and learn to recognize those styles quickly so you can work through the racks efficiently.

Know your colors
No, I'm not talking about having your colors "done," though that's an option (and you can probably find a book to guide you in a thrift store!). But have an idea of what colors work for you and which ones just don't. I stay away from most reds, fuschias and certain acid greens, and this saves me time, especially when the racks are organized by color.

Watch for your own "good" labels
Everyone has clothing makers whose clothes just fit better. For me, Eddie Bauer, Ralph Lauren and Harold's seem to make clothes that hang well on me and don't need to be altered. When I see those labels, I'll generally look twice at the item because it's likely to fit well.

Feel the fabrics
Good quality clothes have a good hand feel. Get used to what top notch fabrics feel like. That way, as you work your way through the racks, you can use not only your eyes to evaluate the quality, but also your fingers.

Check the details
Make sure no buttons are missing or broken. Look for stains on the garment. If it's a shirt, check the front for dribble marks and the armpits for yellowing. Check pants for stains in the crotch (big ick!) and along the back of the leg where mud often gets kicked up. Also check the hem of pants and collars and cuffs of shirts for fraying. Make sure the seat seam of pants is intact - a surprising number of trousers get holes along the back seam. Also check that zippers are fully set, not coming unsewn at the bottom. And finally, look for loose threads or missing hems, signs that the garment may not last much longer.

Consider the cost of ownership
A $10 pure-silk blouse may seem like a bargain, but if it's dry-clean only, you will find that the true cost of owning it turns out to be much higher than just $10. Think carefully before buying clothes that needs special care or alterations. For very special items, this could be worth it, but not for most things. Also, if you see a pair of shoes or boots that need a visit to the shoe hospital, make sure they are repairable before buying them. If the wear on the heel has gone past the heel cap into the body of the shoe itself, the shoe probably cannot be repaired.

Experiment when you have time
Not every trip to the thrift store has to be about efficient use of time. When you have the luxury of an extra-long trip one day, pull out some items that catch your eye (but are not your usual style) and try them on. One nice thing about thrift stores is that you can find a variety of cuts and colors all in one place, letting you see first hand what works and what does not. So break out of the mold once in a while and challenge yourself by trying on something you never thought you'd wear. For instance, a few years ago I discovered (unexpectedly) that ribbed tops look much better on me these days than they did when I was a flat-chested teenager. Now they are a staple of my wardrobe.

Make sure it's really a bargain
Some thrift stores just don't seem to understand what thrifty means. I'm sorry, no matter how worthy the cause your store supports, I just won't pay $20 for a used pair of jeans that cost $25 new, and $5.99 for Target-brand kid's pants is more than they probably cost originally. Be aware of how much items cost in the stores so you can snap up the real bargains and pass on the overpriced stuff.

These are just a few of my favorite thrift store tips - I'd love to get your suggestions as well. And if you don't like thrift, why not? Is it the selection, the experience, the "ick" factor of wearing pre-owned clothes, or something else? What keeps you away?

Thrift Chic

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 03:25:00 +0000

I spent an hour and $23 in a thrift shop today, and came away with two almost-new pairs of name brand, work-quality wool trousers, a like-new turtleneck, a really cute pair of brown suede ankle boots, and a pair of workout shorts for my son. It was a successful visit, all in all.

I love thrift shopping for lots of reasons. First (and obviously), it's cheap. It would have cost me $80 to buy just one of those pairs of pants today if I'd paid full-boogie-retail for them when they were new. Even marked down 50%, one pair alone would have been twice as much as I paid for everything I got today.

But apart from being cheap, shopping at thrift stores makes me feel good. Generally the money I spend supports a good cause. My favorite shops are Goodwill, the St. Vincent de Paul store, and the Junior League store. These all put money back into the community with their works, and also provide vouchers to the poor to help them buy clothing, housewares, and furnishings. So my purchase benefits many, not just my family's budget.

Thrift shopping is green too. The items are donated locally and travel many fewer miles from donor to store than new clothing does when it comes from China or Bangladesh or wherever it is labor is cheapest these days. And by recycling clothes instead of buying new, I'm helping conserve resources.

Finally, when I shop in thrift stores, I don't worry quite as much about where in the world an item was made or whether the person who assembled it was being exploited. I can't say I never think about this, because wearing prominent swooshes or polo ponies does help promote those brands, which could result in increased demand for them in the new-clothes market (though any increased demand that results from a woman in her mid-40's wearing a particular brand is probably offset by the "eww" it evokes in my kids and their friends). But at least the direct connection of consumer dollar to store bottom-lines is broken this way, and I don't feel quite so much like my own clothing choices are responsible for the off-shoring of almost every textile manufacturing business these days.

So enough of my musings about *why* shopping thrift is a good thing to do. Tomorrow I'll post my suggestions for making the most of a thrift shop visit.

My Personal Finance Success Story

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Mon, 15 Oct 2007 01:31:00 +0000

Okay, so I started this blog back in July with all kinds of good intentions, then got busy and forgot about it. Too many competing priorities, I guess.

But today I have a reason to post: J.D. at Get Rich Slowly is sponsoring a contest for a Nintendo Wii, and to enter I need to write about my financial success story and post a link on his site. Seeing as (a) I love writing contests (even though this one is really a drawing from among the entrants) and (b) I've been mulling over whether to get the kids a Wii for Christmas this year, this seems like a great way for me to get writing on here again.

So, my financial success story... where to begin?

I learned some of my best financial habits from my father. Unfortunately, I also learned some of my worst from him too - and it took me a long time to be able to recognize that, just because Daddy did it that way, it wasn't necessarily a smart thing to do.

Good habits he taught me? How to balance my checkbook and how to save for retirement. My dad was an early proponent of Individual Retirement Accounts. The summer I got my first "real" job, he had me put $2000 of my earnings into an IRA. I was probably the only freshman in the country who was already saving for retirement!

But as part of that good habit, he taught me a bad one - and one that later bit me, hard. Throughout my childhood, my dad had gifted stock acquired through his employee stock purchase plan to me. By 18, I had 110 shares of IBM worth about $20,000. My dad suggested that I take a loan out against the stock to fund my IRA. I didn't even know what this meant, but since doing this meant I did not actually lose the use of the $2000 I was contributing (i.e., I could spend it on clothes), I gladly did it. The next summer I did the same thing - and eventually I realized that my checking account (which was linked to the stock loan) would take automatic stock loans out when I overdrafted it. Wow, no bounced checks and I could do almost anything I wanted!

Over the next three or four years, as the value of the stock rose during the "greed is good" 80's, I managed to borrow almost $25,000 against this collateralized loan. Some of it still went to my IRA's but substantially more just got frittered away.

Then came Black Monday - October 19, 1987. I remember listening in horror to the radio as reports of the 508 point stock market crash came through. I didn't fully realize what that meant for me, however, until I received a letter from the credit union a few days later, requesting that I either post additional shares of stock as collateral for my loan, or make up the $8,000 shortfall with cash. If I did neither, then the credit union would sell my stock.

Since I had no more shares of stock - and $8,000 was more than I'd ever earned - I had to let the stock get sold, at very reduced prices from the highs of only a few weeks earlier. But the real pain was still to come, because the sale of the stock did not cover the amount I'd borrowed, so I was liable for the balance as an unsecured loan!

Thankfully I had just started a new job when all this occurred, and because the job involved a lot of employer-paid travel, my living costs were very low. After a year or so I was able to pay off the unsecured loan to the credit union.

This experience, unpleasant as it was, caused me to become interested for the first time in financial matters. I found a workbook about personal financial planning in a bookstore and started reading it. I started listening to the Dolans on the radio and realized that I should move my IRA from a money market account into the Vanguard Index 500 fund. I invested 15% of my income in my company's 401K. I paid all my credit cards on time. I even paid off my car (by taking a loan against the cash value of my whole life policy - another Dad investing strategy) so I could save on insurance premiums.

Then after I met and married my husband, I became a Frugal Zealot a la Amy Dacyczyn's Tightwad Gazette. We washed baggies and cooked big pots of beans for dinner. I started buying thrift store clothes almost exclusively. Our income was modest but so was our lifestyle. We bought a small house and a couple small cars, and started a small family. It was tough to make ends meet on our small salaries (he was a teacher and I was a secretary) but we managed somehow.

Now, about 15 years later, we're doing much better income-wise - but we still follow a relatively frugal lifestyle. Still, we always managed to spend almost all of what we made, minus contributions to retirement and a small savings account. We had debts, but I considered them all good debts - a large mortgage, a home-equity loan, a car payment, and a $6000 0% Lowe's credit card for new windows on the house. In my mind we were doing very well, overall.

Then my brother gave me Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover for Christmas last year, and I decided after reading it that doing very well was not good enough. Since January 1, 2007, we have paid off over $30,000 of the $65,000 we owed in non-first-mortgage debt, and are on track to be debt-free by November 2008.

So that's my financial success story... an early start on retirement savings, one really expensive dumb mistake, living a basically modest lifestyle even once we achieved a good income, and now paying off even the "good" debts we had accumulated. I'm happy with where my family is headed!

The Grocery Game

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 00:16:00 +0000

Buying groceries should be easy, right? Make a list, go to the store, pick out the items that look best to you, and pay. How hard can it be?

But for me, buying groceries can be a very complex matter of sifting through various priorities. That's because I try to make purchases that reflect my values.

What are those values and why are they important to me? In approximate order of importance, they are:

Grown, made and/or sold locally - to support local businesses and to reduce the fuel for transportation. I have a special preference for patronizing our local food co-op when possible.
Organically produced - to reduce potential damage to my family's bodies and to help create a profitable market for methods that do the least harm to the environment.
Fair Trade - As a Catholic, I believe it is important to show solidarity with workers by purchasing items for which a fair price has been paid.
Not a "Red" company - I don't want to support any company that supports the Bush administration.
Inexpensive - My family and I are following the Dave Ramsey plan to eliminate our debt, so I try to choose items that are good values and keep us within our budget.
Low-carb - After losing 40 lbs on a low-carb diet several years ago, I look for items that will help me maintain that weight loss.

With all these filters to apply, shopping can be rather tricky! Say I'm at the co-op and I pick up a can of diced tomatoes from Muir Glen. Locally made - no. Locally sold - yes. Organic - yes. Fair trade - no. Red company - yes (Muir Glen is owned by General Mills). Inexpensive - not particularly. Low-carb - yes. So what do I do? In this case, I put it back and pick up a box of diced tomatoes from Pacific Natural Foods instead. Everything is the same except the company is an independent with no history of political donations.

Why do I go to so much thought and trouble for what I buy? Because I realized that in our society, the power of the purse is one of the greatest powers that I as a consumer can wield. Money really does talk, and retailers really do listen. I believe it is no coincidence that the organic market has exploded over the past few years, since about the time I started choosing organic. I alone am not responsible for that, of course, but I am convinced that people like me - ordinary consumers making thoughtful, thought-out choices - are moving the market in the direction we want it to go.

Welcome

noreply@blogger.com (hln) — Mon, 30 Jul 2007 01:29:00 +0000

This blog is dedicated to those who attempt, however fruitlessly, to strike a comfortable balance between many possible alternatives.

In my life, I struggle to find that comfortable balance. Convenience versus conservation? Frugality versus fair trade? Prosperity versus politics? Every dollar I spend, every decision I make, seems to reflect on who I am and what I believe. If I am the sum total of my choices in life, then what choices must I make to produce a life of which I can be proud?

In this space, I will explore some of those choices and consider what these competing priorities might mean to me and to others. I welcome your contributions and your insights.