My Life My World

Tired

2008-09-14T09:16:00.000-07:00

Sad, frustrated, pissed, exhaustion.... a series of emotions that could easily turn love into hate.... overtime....

It baffles me on how much giving in and caring can be dismissed as my stubbornness. It bewilders me that I should not stand up for my opinion... even more, that it is simply impossible to keep opinions to myself and just shut up!

Is this what I've always been warned against? That I would lose my independence and individuality... All the things that make me into the person that I am and known for is drastically changing.

Its funny how demoralization is constantly chasing me. Yes it does... in different situations, throughout the years, from different people... but the effect remains the same.

The silent arguments between my head and my heart is tiresome.

I shall bear with them again... I must not analyze for there lies more questions and leads to a broken heart.

I shall sleep tonight in hopes of a beautiful dream that can anesthetize this pain and anger to give me strength for a better tomorrow.

cabal new patch

2008-09-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

hello E-GAMERS.. are you having trouble with the new updates in cabal? here are some useful tips you can use to solve bugs in the new update_dat22 in cabal launcher.. i hope it will work on you.. i figured this out after the last maintenance when i cant run my launcher..

download this link
link:
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?cy1xjaojqbo

step1:
download the launcher.zip
step2:
extract it evrywhere....
step3:
backup the launcher folder located in the cabal folder..
step4:
copy the launcher folder located at the extracted launcher.zip
put it in the cabal folder and replace the existing file....

step 5: run the patch!!!!!!!

if this wont work on u.. try to download this and run
http://www.mediafire.com/?jypohydxnsg

when you run the launcher click first "CHECK FILES"
this process takes time so you need to be patient..

HAPPY E-GAMING..

PAIN IN MY HEART

2008-09-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Here I am alone in this empty room
And let my mind just fly you to the end
Thoughts of you still linger in my memory
Wondering why my life is not that fair
I could still recall
Those memories of you
The joy and all your laughter
The love thast we've been through
Oh, I can't believe you're gone
Oh, no

Talkin' to myself for no reasons I could find
Findin' out why everything went wrong
Tears falling down my cheeks that
I've been trying to hold
It doesn't know if I could still go on
I wanted you to stay
The tears begin to show
You said you cared for me
But then you had to go
And now I know you're gone

But I don't want to remember
The things (we used to do/that we've been
Through)
And all the things that remind me of you
I don't want to hear the songs
The songs we used to sing
'coz I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart

I just can't believe you're gone

No, no...
I don't wanna feel
Yeah, I don't wanna feel the pain in my heart
I don't wanna feel, don't know what went wrong

SHE'S OUT OF MY LIFE

2008-08-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

"She's Out Of My Life"

She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

It's Out Of My Hands
It's Out Of My Hands
To Think For Two Years She Was Here
And I Took Her For Granted I Was So Cavalier
Now The Way That It Stands
She's Out Of My Hands

So I've Learned That Love's Not Possession
And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait
Now I've Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

She's Out Of My Life
She's Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Her Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
She's Out Of My Life

caught between Goodbye & I LOVE U

2008-08-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today, I’m really confused about the decision that I’m about to make. I’m not sure if that decision will be the best one. I’m caught between goodbye and I love u. I don’t wanna be away from her, I love her truly with all my life but the pain is killing me knowing that she’s no longer mine. I’m going because I want to show her that I’m a responsible person and not someone who’s very dependent on her, at the same time to stay away from this feeling that I felt. However, do I really have to run away every time this thing happened? It happened so many times and now I’m doing it again. Is this the right way to solve my problem or this will just add another heartache?

I’ll be leaving few hours from now but I’m not yet decided if I’m really ready to go. I’m still waiting for the sign that I’ve been asking from God. Hopefully He will guide me to do the right thing. I do hope I won’t regret whatever decision it might be, I’m hoping for the best. Should I stay or should I go? Anybody there who could help me?

If your reading this now, I just wanna let you know how much I love u, how much you mean to me and how much I value you in my life.Will you miss me when I'm gone? I’m hoping one day you’ll be back in my arms again when the right time comes. I know you’re tired of this already, that’s why I’m giving you the time to rest and find what you really want. Time to think and a time to weigh things. I just wish we could be together again as one. Please take good care of yourself for me.

I NEED YOU BACK

2008-08-19T19:21:00.000-07:00

Seek Codes

MySpace Graphics

Seek Codes

MySpace Graphics

If I have shown what you really meant to me
Maybe then you'd still be a part of me
I was wrong not to let you know
This feeling that's hard for me to show

Since you're gone I'm always been alone
Feeling down and sorry for myself
I looked at your picture and there I find
I won't make it through another rain without your sunshine

I need you back
I need you here to guide me
Please come back you're the only who's ever loved me
I need you back, lets start all over again
Share the love you've had for me then

Well, since I've said what I came here to say
I guess I'd better be going on my way
But before I go I just gotta let you know
You're the only one who can make me happy again

Another day has passed

2008-08-18T09:05:00.000-07:00

Another day has passed but the pain is still killing me. The more I fight this feeling, the more I am drowned with the loneliness I feel. Why should this feeling never end? I really wonder why.. Am I really destined to suffer or this is just part of what they called challenges in life? All I know is I am hurt and I cannot help my self but to stumble and fall. No matter how hard I tried to stand up but this feeling keeps on pulling me down. It’s been three weeks since she left me and within that period of time my life have gone astray. Some people may say I’m a fool to say such things but I will answer them: have you been in this kind of situation? 'Coz if you do, you will understand how I feel. Hurt is the price I have to pay for loving someone so much. Moreover, each day, that love grows even stronger.

I can’t get her out of my mind. All the time she’s the one I’ve been thinking of. I tried to keep myself busy so that at one moment I could get away with the thought that she never exist. However, the more I do it the more I hurt myself, the more I realized how much she means to me.

Her smile used to brighten up my day. Whenever I’m down and out, her smile gives me the strength to keep moving on. She’s the source of my life and without her I’m nothing. She’s part of everything I do, my plans, my reason for living. I may sound insane but If you love someone so much you’ll feel the same way too.

Another day has passed and I have to face new challenges that await my way on the coming days. I just hope God will still give me strength to keep moving despite the hardships I’ve been through.

Poetry of Love

2008-08-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

This Is How Much I Love You

I don't know how to say this
But there is nothing more I can do
You belong not in my heart
But to somebody who's luckier than me

I tried to let you to be with him
To live life in love a privacy
This is how great my love for you
Giving you the freedom to set your heart free

As long as you are happy
I don't want you to pity
Follow what your heart says
And may your decisions be firm enough

Friends may pity me
People may say
I'm a fool to love a lady
Who already love somebody

I care not about what they say
As long as I prove to everybody
My love only for you my baby
To whom I have given my life and everything

Sometimes we need to accept the fact that the one we loved most will not be the one we can be with for the rest of our life. There are things in life that we have to accept even if it is hard to. We have to overcome the pain and loneliness in order to move on. No matter how hard it is, we should continue living life to the fullest. Things happen for a reason, we should look for the brighter side of life and work for the best. It's really hard to let go of someone who's already a part of you. Someone who has been the reason why you live, someone you can't live without.